Andrew Dickens Afternoons

It's unclear whether the initial incursion happened stealthily at night or brazenly during the day - though authorities are almost certain the invasion occurred by sea.
And federal employees who returned from the month-long partial government shutdown decided that it was probably not worth the effort to relocate the roughly 90 individuals involved. That's because some of them were pregnant or newborns, and all of them were opportunistic elephant seals that have taken over what used to be the tourist area of Drakes Beach, California.
Across the nation this week, returning federal workers slogged through backlogs of voice mails, sifted through bursting email inboxes and tried to remember the name of the childhood pet at the beginning of their log-in passwords.
At Drakes Beach, part of the Point Reyes National Seashore, employees had a much bigger problem. Literally. Some of the elephant seal squatters weigh as much as a car.

A colony of nearly 1,500 seals inhabits nearby Chimney Beach, which is protected from binocular-wearing tourists by 100-foot-tall cliffs. But Drakes Beach, with its wide swath of sand and spectacular views of the Pacific, has been claimed by humans. Park officials have used a decidedly low-tech method to enforce an armistice between the mammal species: They waved blue tarps to annoy the seals away from the areas most popular with the homo sapiens.
"It doesn't scare them, and it's a standard technique used with elephant seals," John Dell'Osso, chief of interpretation and resource education for the seashore, told the San Francisco Chronicle. "This would have kept them farther away from tourists."
The annoying tarps were an effective plan, usually chasing all but a seal or two away from the beach, which is a 90-minute drive from San Francisco.
But the federal government apparently does not regard the tarp-wavers as essential federal employees, so the workers who did it were among the 800,000 furloughed.
During that time, according to the Chronicle, high tides and storms battered the seals' normal habitat.
So the seals showed up to the suddenly-deserted Drakes Beach and brought friends, and apparently family, too. Seals give birth during the winter months, and the suddenly-deserted Drakes Beach appears to be an excellent place to raise pups.
On Jan. 27, Point Reyes National Seashore notified eager would-be visitors that Drakes Beach and other popular locations would reopen after the shutdown. Then, four days later, officials posted this:
"Drakes Beach and its access road from Sir Francis Drake Boulevard are temporarily closed to all vehicle, foot, & bicycle traffic due to elephant seal activity in the area."
Pictures of the beach's newest residents showed seals of all sizes sunning themselves in the sand, basking on a beach that provides some of the best views in northern California.
A few have made forays into more human territory. According to Vice, two adult males have been spotted in the parking lot, one on the ramp to the empty visitor center and another beneath a picnic table.
Bulls can weigh as much as 4,500 pounds and, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration warns, "despite their sometimes docile and clumsy appearance, elephant seals can be extremely quick and sometimes vicious if humans, or their pets, get too close."
For the humans of Drakes Beach, it might not be a total surrender. Dell'Osso said staff are exploring the possibility of offering guided tours of the Drakes Beach elephant seal colony. A similar program happens at Año Nuevo State Park. Visitors who wanted to see the seals at that park are encouraged to bring a warm jacket, water and sturdy walking shoes.
At Drakes Beach, visitors might also consider carrying white flags.

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It was a beautiful summer’s weekend. Balmy temperatures that meant T-shirts all day and all night.  A pristine day in Wellington as India handed New Zealand another comprehensive lesson in how to play one day cricket. I watched the game with a beer and my youngest son who’s enjoying a fantastic summer before returning to university in the capital.
So who can believe that pre season Super Rugby was being played and the official season is now less than two weeks away. Madness.
But the Blues were playing the Chiefs in Kaikohe. To be honest the Blues were spanking the Chiefs in Kaikohe but that is not the news. The news was that 4000 people sold out the local ground and it was a great day. Simon Wilson has written a lovely story about the fun and festivities and the aroha that surrounded the players for an afternoon in February.
But not all the story. He does mention that nobody stayed in the town. The Blues were in a hotel in Waitangi while the Chiefs bunked down in Whangarei. But what wasn’t mentioned was that there was a tangi happening the same weekend and the departed was big in gang circles.
The main drag of Kaikohe was awash with gang members and their bikes. The pub was taking overnight guests but the publican had closed his bar, on a game day, for fear that the tangi commemorations might get, how shall we say, a little frenetic. But the weekend passed without incident.
So it was another weekend where the two sides of the Kaikohe coin were once again plain. Good people, in a great place, celebrating a good community event but a meth and gang fuelled undercurrent never far from the surface.
Simon Wilson also noticed another interesting aspect to the day. Throughout the official ceremonies and speechifying, and through all the proud moments of how awesome Kaikohe was, there appeared to be not one word of Maori spoken. Not even a kia ora from the mayor of the Far North, John Carter. As Simon says, “it was as if they were blind to the people they were talking to”. I don’t know if it was purposeful but if it wasn’t then that actually makes it even more insidious.
It strikes me that a lot of this is about pride. Pride in people and pride in place. You can’t really expect the people to be proud of the place if there are other people still not proud of a people’s language.
In this week of Waitangi, in 2019, it still amazes me that some people are still so dismissive of the Maori language. And now I’ll be besieged by people calling the language dead and irrelevant.
And then there’ll be the people calling for us to become one people. I think all those advocates still haven’t realised that becoming one people cuts both ways.

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What a fascinating business section in the paper today.
Firstly, the section had a wrap around. For those who don’t know, a wrap around is a full-page ad on the front page of a paper or a section of the paper.
Todays’s wraparound was paid for by the Westpac bank and its headline was “minimum is not enough. It’s time.”
Westpac has decided that the lowest wage to be paid in their corporation will be the living wage - not the minimum wage. The ad says the living wage will add at least $131 to the lowest paid’s weekly wage. They think it will make a world of difference. It’s an extra week's worth of groceries. Westpac currently employs 480 people on minimum wage.
But they also say it will grow their business and will mean workers take more pride in their work, feel more valued and hence more enthusiastic. Then they challenge other big businesses to join them.
So good on them, it’s their choice. The cynical amongst us might note that what with the Australian Banking Royal Commission and the FMA here snooping around banking practices, it is a good time for some positive press.
But it’s interesting because then you look what’s on page seven of the business section, Employers warning that the Government’s Fair Pay Working Group recommendations could bring risks to business and the economy. The group wants minimum standards for industries or occupations
Right beside it is an article saying that the movement of big businesses adopting the living wage has been disappointingly slow.
Then on page six, an infometric report says New Zealand’s poor productivity, low wages and capacity constraints means that we are not as well placed as we should be to ride out the economic slowdown that’s starting to loom.
Putting all that together, you get the feeling that when it comes to wages and pay and investment in staff our industries are loathed to loosen their purse strings. And while that makes the short term bottom line look good for the shareholders, we’ve come to the end of the culdesac.
We’ve run out of workers. We need more skills but there will be a lag while we train them, if we can find them. And then when we find them we’re not paying them very much.
Add to that the high cost of living here at the edge of the world, then that’s a messy little scenario where people start thinking of bailing the country for greener pastures, where they’re more valued.
Add to all that the automatic no that comes out of employers mouths when the government starts telling them to pay workers more, then we’re really in schtook.
So on that negative note, let’s congratulate Westpac and others like AMP and Vector who have taken a standoff their own volition. I bet they’ll never regret it and the balance sheet will look just fine. Wages and productivity is not a government problem. It’s all of our problems and we can all do so much better.

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Who doesn't love a good moan?
Well, if you're happy to pay for the opportunity, Japan offers a cheap way for you to get all your grievances off your chest. 
'Ossan Rental' was launched by fashion consultant Takanobu Nishimoto back in 2012, and for just $14 an hour, or 1,000 yen, you can hire an 'Ossan' who will listen to all your complaints and moanings.
The Ossan will also do other chores, like help you move or tidy, or can even escort you to the movies or theatre.
Nishimoto says he wanted to remove the negative stigma around Ossan, which is a Japanese world meaning uncle or middle-aged man. 

Who doesn't love a good moan?
Well, if you're happy to pay for the opportunity, Japan offers a cheap way for you to get all your grievances off your chest. 
'Ossan Rental' was launched by fashion consultant Takanobu Nishimoto back in 2012, and for just $14 an hour, or 1,000 yen, you can hire an 'Ossan' who will listen to all your complaints and moanings.
The Ossan will also do other chores, like help you move or tidy, or can even escort you to the movies or theatre.
Nishimoto says he wanted to remove the negative stigma around Ossan, which is a Japanese world meaning uncle or middle-aged man. 

Inland wastewater systems will be under huge pressure, if predicted sea level rise continues.
A report from Local Government New Zealand shows predicted damage to council infrastructure nationwide would cost approximately $8 billion.
Water New Zealand technical manager Noel Roberts says it will back the water level up inside the sewers.
He says the infrastructure will be under pressure and it will have to cope with higher volumes.
Andrew Dickens asked his listeners what they thought about this, especially in light of a recent story that the West Coast Regional Council demanded more information on climate change from the Government.
One caller, Jake, says that people don't have the knowledge or time to appreciate the horror of these reports. 
But another, Gavin, questioned where all the water that would raise the sea levels is coming from. 
Pete drew the debate back to the recent talk of a heat wave, claiming the current temperatures are what he felt as a kid.
He says that he owns a property in Fiji and a sea wall near his house has never once been breached. 
LISTEN TO THE TALKBACK ABOVE

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It’s officially a heatwave is some parts of the country and coming to other parts within days. A heatwave is five days in a row five degrees over the average temperature.
So it’s hot. 
But interestingly not as hot a January as last year. And we need to put the hot into perspective. It’s not Melbourne hot, or Alice Springs hot. It’s more Rarotonga hot or South of France hot so it’s actually quite pleasant. As long as you know how to cope.
So a friend of mine is in the middle of a two room house renovation and the builders are in.  Normally they turn up at 7 to 7.30am and get working at 8am. But yesterday they turned up at 5am and started working by 6am. They knocked off work at 2pm because it only gets hotter as the day goes on. Smart.
I don’t have to worry about peak heat because I’m indoors in air con. But yesterday Helen worked from home. I got home about 5pm to find her melting in a puddle. All the windows open. And that was her mistake. Our living room faces west. The sun and heat had been streaming into the house ever since the sun went over the yardarm. So around the house I went. Closing the west windows and drawing the curtains. The difference was incredible.
It’s actually about keeping the heat out rather than letting the cool in and these are things that people in hotter climates know well. For instance, if you’re putting a fan in the window make sure it’s pointing out to blow the hot air away. Another trick is to hang a wet towel over the window to help cool the air.
Some people have been putting cool face towels on your forehead to cool down. Now while that feels good it’s not actually the best place to do it. The idea is to find pulse points where the blood is close to the surface so you could that and the cooler blood heads off to your innards. So that your temple by the ear, your neck, your wrists. The insides of your elbows and knees are two other common pressure points, as well as the tops of your feet and insides of your ankle.
I was thinking about the heat and my dog this morning. Today the dog has been locked indoors while we’re at work, with loads of water and all the curtains drawn and her bed placed at the eastern most side of the house for a hot afternoon nap in the cool.
And today I got up a bit earlier than normal to walk the dog in the coolest temperatures. Even at 7.30am I walked on the shady side of the street. And while I was walking I came across some friends walking their little dog.  But they also have a big dog. By big I mean enormous. An eight foot long dog. I don’t know what it is but there’s some St Bernard in there with long, long shaggy hair.  When they stop at a café the dog lies on the footpath and covers all the footpath.
Anyway I figured they left the old guy at home today because of the heat. So I asked after the dog and it was heartbreaking to hear the old fella died yesterday. Gently expired of a heart attack, panting away, despite everything they could do to cool him down.
He was just too hot, he was just too old.
So the heatwave is a thing and for some it’s very dangerous and it’s around for a couple of days yet, so use your common sense and drink loads of water.

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Industries like tree planting and fruit picking are facing a shortage of workers, but are young people to blame?
Fencing is the latest industry to reveal they are struggling to find workers, despite offering a high hourly pay. 
Young people are often blamed for not being attracted to physical work.
A fencer who spoke with Mike Hosking says that education is too focused on going to university rather than pointing them towards trade sectors.
However, Andrew Dickens raised his doubts about this. 
He says it's not up to young people or the Government to fill the vacancies, but the industries themselves. 
"Is it up to these industries to get out there and tell more people about this industry?"
Putting the question to listeners, a swarm of callers shared their thoughts.
Caller Jamie says that he has worked in fruit picking, and the industry hasn't evolved to adapt to modern work practices around working hours and pay. 
Another, Tom, says that the government should pay sports clubs to do these jobs as sponsorship for their activity.
Helen says that one of her sons was involved in construction, but after three years he realised the industry wasn't for him after dealing with unsafe work practices and staff that avoided work due to the competition. 
LISTEN TO THE TALKBACK FEEDBACK ABOVE

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A tidying revolution has gripped the world.
After Tidying Up with Marie Kondo launched on Netflix this month, people around the world have been inspired to clean up and scale down on their possessions.
The trend was felt strongest by opshops, with many inundated with more donations than they could handle.
But while Marie Kondo has everyone talking, she isn't the only cleaning superstar. 
'Cleanfluencers' have become big on social media, with people racking up millions of followers as they show off their cleaning obsessions. 
The news had Andrew Dickens bemoaning about the real burden cleaning out can have on people, and many talkback callers were in agreement. 
LISTEN TO THE TALKBACK ABOVE

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Venezuela. What a basket case. Blessed with oil, a nice climate, fertile earth and insanely attractive citizens it has somehow over five years managed to collapse to a hyper inflation ravaged wildland with starving children and widespread unrest.
So the guy who runs the place is President Maduro who took over in a dodgy election from Hugo Chavez after Chavez died of cancer. A former bus driver and trade union official he had been groomed for power by the ailing Chavez. But after Hugo died Maduro has used every trick in the book to stay in power and as he plays his games the economy has collapsed
Now the US and more than 20 other countries have recognised the opposition leader  as interim president. On Saturday several European countries including Spain, Germany, France and the UK said they would recognise the opposition leader as president if elections were not called within eight days.
So our government has refused to join the pile on. They’ve criticised the elections but as Winston Peters says "It is not New Zealand's practice to make statements of recognition of Governments, Venezuela needs to decide its future through free and fair elections."
The government is getting stick for this. For sitting on the fence. But I think he has a point. With so many nations asserting their sovereignty these days, whether it be over immigration policies or Brexit or pulling out of UN organisations, you have to ask if it is a little rich to trample all over another country’s sovereignty.
As someone said yesterday imagine if Venezuela turned around and demanded Britain honour Brexit within 8 days. We’d all die laughing. 
Plus the question has to be asked as to what the answer to Venezuela’s woes really are.
President Maduro says Donald Trump hates him and he’s not wrong because all you need to have done is watch Fox News for the past 5 years. Venezuela has been branded in the rightist media as the example of what happens when socialism goes wrong.  And that feeling has spread with many people in this country prone to saying that Jacinda will take us down Venezuela’s route.
Unfortunately however Venezuela is not socialist. They say they are as it plays well in South America but they’re not about redistribution of wealth.They’re about acquiring it for the ruling elite. They’re not about the rights of the workers. That’s why the workers are starving.
They’re a criminal feudalism. A corrupt plutocracy. A political mafia held up and supported by the military heads who are also on the money grab. No wonder Russia and Putin loves them. It’s like looking in a mirror.
And guess what. The so called opposition leader that all these nations are scrambling to support is just as bad as the guys in charge. He’s never been elected. He’s a leader of a party that’s part of a coalition that agreed on a rotating leadership and so as soon as he got in charge he saw his chance.
So Venezuela is a criminal mess and not democratically fixable. The recognising of the opposition leader is virtue signalling writ large by nations. I don’t mind that we didn’t join in.
Which would all be fine but Venezuela has oil which makes them valuable. Which is why the United States is moving 5000 troops into Colombia. A military intervention looks more likely every day.