Andrew Dickens Afternoons

I got the best Father’s Day present this weekend. My youngest lad, 19-year-old Ben, came back from university for a week at home during a mid-semester break. He’s only a fifth of our family but having him home doubles the energy of the house.
So when Ben comes home he only has a few demands. Make sure there are 24 eggs and a slew of cold meats in the house and let’s have some hearty home-cooked meals. He comes home for family but I think he really comes home to eat.
Life as a second-year student, flatting in Wellington is tight. No free tertiary for this boy he’s one year too old. No hostels because he’s in his second year. High rents because properties are tight. It means the budget is brutal.
Ben gets through by bulk buying veggies at the Victoria Street carpark Sunday market. Meat disappears from his budget. When he arrives home his only stipulation is no tomato based dishes because the pasta and can of tomatoes diet gets tedious when it’s your staple diet.
I thought about this when I heard two conflicting stories this morning
Firstly Kiwi families are ordering more takeaways and eating out more than ever before, at the expense of family meals at home according to a study released today by the Restaurant Association. Nationwide sales in the hospitality industry over the past year increased by 3.6 per cent to exceed $11.2 billion. Takeaway food recorded the highest growth at 5.7 per cent, or an increase in annual sales of $148 million.
At the same time, grocery sales are slowing - a result, the report suggests, of the traditional family meal at home becoming less popular. Only 52 per cent of parents now eat at home every night, according to another recent survey.
Well that’s nice for half our families who are either doing very well or a budgeting terribly. It’s certainly not my family’s reality. I was brought up to be very frugal on hospitality. We’d be hard pressed to have a meal out once a month. It’s certainly not my son’s reality.
And then there’s the story of Papakura mother-of-two Louise who feeds her family on less than $60 a week despite working as a teacher aide at a local school and living in a house shared with extended whanau. There are days of no dinner and certainly no meals out.
In the same article, the CEO of KidsCan Julie Chapman says they are now offering meals in 732 schools. She says that’s an astounding figure and the fact that the problem is growing is very concerning.
Two vastly different stories on the same day, in the same paper showing two vastly different New Zealands over the very basics of life - food. And I wonder if either side comprehends the other.

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It's one of the best-known songs in the English language.
And today, it celebrates its 50th birthday.
'Hey Jude' is one of the Beatles most defining tracks. Written to comfort John Lennon's son Julian after his parent's divorce, it is now frequently played in any type of event all around the world.
LISTEN TO ANDREW DICKENS TALK ABOUT IT ABOVE

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Is it ever right to lie to your partner?
An Australian psychiatrist, speaking to ABC's Nightlife station, got Andrew Dickens thinking about the intricacies of telling the truth to your partner.
"Relationships are built on truth and honesty, but of course sometimes hearing the truth can be painful," he said to listeners.
Talkback callers were mostly in agreement that lying is sometimes necessary - though the secrecy and trying not to hurt their feelings can backfire. 
One caller, Keri, says that she and her partner of 15 years work by completing separating their lives and rarely share the finer parts of their days. 
Another, Dante, says that he is careful with giving his partner criticism, but expects honesty from her. 
LISTEN TO THE TALKBACK ABOVE

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So if you’ve noticed that the world seems peaceful and springlike lately it might be because parliament is in recess.
Our MPs have vacated Wellington and spread to all four corners of the Earth. 
Yesterday we learnt that Mark Mitchell is spending the break  in South Sudan. Of course South Sudan is right beside Somalia and is the world’s youngest declared country coming into existence in 2013. Since then dozens of factions have been fighting for control wand the fights have killed thousands and displaced millions. And when they’re fighting they neglect to make food so a fair few South Sudanese are starving even though it’s a fertile place with loads of land.
There’s a peace deal floating around but just an hour ago it started to fall apart again. Former Labour leader David Shearer is running the UN peacekeeping operation there with a handful of Kiwis and so Mark Mitchell is going to have a look see. I guess he wanted to go somewhere less stressful than the Beehive.
The Speaker of the House, Trevor Mallard is having a more traditional break. He’s in Cornwall on a cycling holiday. Which it makes it remarkable that he had the time to call off the Simon Bridges leak inquiry.  His press release came out mid afternoon saying that somehow Mr Mallard has figured out who the leader and texter was. That the person is linked to the National Party and that’s that. He must be very dedicated to the job to send that statement out at 2am Cornwall time in the middle of a holiday. Curious really, it’s almost like someone else made his decision for him.
And then there’s Shane Jones who seems to have decided that he would spend the recess giving media entertaining sound bites.
Yesterday he got stuck into the the councillors and ratepayers of tasman who pulled the plug on the Waimea Dam. Notably he railed against the idiotic lotus eaters of Tasman. Of course lotus eaters refers to a tale out of Greek mythology written by Homer in The Odyssey. Odysseus comes across a tribe on an island who spend their whole time eating lotus plants which is a narcotic which leaves them drowsing in a drugged out peaceful apathy. Nice image of Motueka stoners Shane but not quite right.
Firstly, the greenies at the council meeting were not peaceful or apathetic. In fact they were more like shrieking banshees.
And secondly the Dam’s biggest problem was that the councillors of Tasman were just cheap people looking after their self interest by keeping rates down at the cost horticulture which seems a bit self defeating.
And now today Shane Jones has said people on the dole and those before the courts could provide some of the labour needed to implement the Government's One Billion Trees project.  The verbose MP told a public meeting at the Tauranga Citizens Club . ''If you can get up and go to work you should be made to do it.''
He’s said it before of course but this time he’s made a bit of a boo boo. The problem with forcing people before the court to get out and plant some trees is that until you’re proven guilty, you’re innocent.  So now we have a Minister wanting to shanghai innocent people into working gangs.
I don’t know about you but I think it’s time for the MPs to come back to Wellington and do some real work.  At least that way we know where they are and we can keep an eye on them.

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Here’s a little story about Pukekohe.
Pukekohe, the eighteenth largest city in New Zealand with 31,000 souls, 50 kilometres from Auckland. Possesses the best soil on earth and an awful lot of lettuces and carrots. Birthplace of Possum Bourne, Jonah Lomu and my mother. Home of the mighty Counties rugby side.
A friend of mine has just transferred from the Wellington newsroom to Auckland. She and her husband are looking for a place so until then she decided to get the best and cheapest renter she could and so she chose Pukekohe. It’s relatively cheap. There’s a train. The train costs her $7.50 and takes 1 hour and 10 minutes and in that hour she gets loads of work done. Occasionally she brings her car into town. It takes longer. The parking is more expensive and she gets no work done.
So the other day she asks me why she has to change trains at Papakura which is 33 kilometres from Auckland. That’s because when the lines were electrified it was decided to save money to stop at Papakura. So two-thirds of the way home she has to get out and transfer to a diesel-electric.
This all happened 4 years ago and instantly people realised this was a mistake. So the council came up with an idea to buy a couple of trains that had chargeable batteries on board so they could carry on for the extra 20 kilometres. The new government has realised that was a monumentally stupid and expensive band-aid over the problem so they have given some money to complete the electrification job. The whole process is going to be vastly more expensive than if they had just done it all in the first place.
When I told my friend the story she said, “well that’s stupid and short-sighted”. Welcome to New Zealand.
Today we are talking about the decision by Tasman not to fund the Waimea Dam. Even though the government and Treasury were so into the idea they were throwing money and interest-free loans at it. Even though the district is already short of water and will only become more so. All for the sake of $50 million. You will build the Waimea Dam one day Tasman. You will have to. And it will cost an awful lot more the $50 million and you will go through water deprivation while you wait for it to happen. And people will be muttering why didn’t we do this years ago.
This morning we also hear that Auckland Central Rail Link is probably going to run over budget. I’m sure it will but that’s not enough excuse to not carry on. It’s already costing too much money because it should have been done decades ago. Sydney built their underground and Harbour Bridge in the thirties when their population was just $1 million. Imagine how much it would cost today and imagine how bad the last 80 years would have been if they hadn’t done it and how much money would have been lost.
Sometimes it seems to make sense today to not spend money but it’s a false economy. A good idea is a good idea. And sometimes it’s expensive. But if it’s a good idea, in the long run, it’s always worth it.

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Tauranga City Council is discussing ways it can reduce the number or wastewater blockages caused by wet wipes.
The Council's Environment Committee has written to the Government asking them to ban labels such as "flushable" on advertising and packaging.
Mayor Greg Brownless says wet wipes aren't truly flushable because they cause about 30 per cent of the network's blockages every year.
"Other places than Tauranga would also benefit from changes to the advertising because other councils throughout the country must deal with the same issue."
Property Manager Steven told Andrews Dickens that the baby wipes are not designed for our wastewater system.
"I think it is really deceiving to use words like 'flushable" when in reality they block drains and are a serious problem."
LISTEN ABOVE AS STEVEN SPEAKS WITH ANDREW DICKENS

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So Jacinda Ardern has addressed the business community in an attempt to reset the mind set that the business outlook will be worse under Labour.
To be honest, it was always going to be a vain attempt.  The government believes what they believe and there’s a substantial slice of the business community who will always think they’re just wrong.  It was the same with the last government and the government before that and on it goes. 
It’s been interesting to see a few people, like Don Brash and a number of economists, who are starting to dispel the rosy perception of the Key and English era.  With as many moving parts as an economy there’s always dispute over the best things to do.
So all you can take from this speech is whether or not the current mob have a clue.  And canvassing the business team here and other observers, it becomes clear that the alleged economic incompetence of this government is being over-hyped.
I found it hard to dismiss a lot of what was said today.  Ardern said that the New Zealand economy faced a number of global challenges.   She listed them as skills shortages, lack of investment in the productive economy, a shallow national pool of capital, an infrastructure deficit and low productivity. I particularly like the shallow pool of capital thing because it drives me crazy. When kiwis do well and have some spare money, they stick it into an investment property rather than a local business making jobs.
She also mentioned that the government is committed to running a strong surplus.  She says we have the best net international investment position ever recorded, stable and low interest rates forecast for some time which ought to spur investment and the lowest unemployment rate in a decade. Again, that’s all true. 
The Reserve Bank’s unprecedented statement this year that interest rates aren’t going up for some time hasn’t been fully appreciated. If business wants certainty, well there’s cost of capital certainty right there.  With stable low interest rates and growth in the mid twos and up over the next three years, there’s never been a better time for businesses to invest in improving their outputs.
So the whole speech confirmed the way I’ve felt for a while.  The government believes in some theories that I disagree with but they’re not nearly as bad as some will have you believe. New Zealand is not going the way of Venezuela and it never will. That’s a lazy intellectual slogan.
There was a bit of a stir when the government appointed Christopher Luxon from Air New Zealand as the chair of a business advisory panel.  After all, he’s no wet.  He’s mates with John Key and he certainly can run a big business. Some are taking this as a sign that Labour is listening to business.  But I would offer this advice.
The business confidence slump that Labour should worry about isn’t happening around the board tables of our biggest companies.  Looking at some of the listed companies that reported their financial results this month, Craigs Investment Partners' Mark Lister said this week you'd be "hard pressed to deduct we're on the cusp of a major economic slump".
No, the businesses that are really worried are the small ones with 20 or so workers for whom any tinkering with minimum wages or compliance costs makes a tangible impact on their bottom line. Maybe a few more owners of Small and Medium businesses should be on that advisory panel if they want to know how business is feeling.

So Jacinda Ardern has addressed the business community in an attempt to reset the mind set that the business outlook will be worse under Labour.
To be honest, it was always going to be a vain attempt.  The government believes what they believe and there’s a substantial slice of the business community who will always think they’re just wrong.  It was the same with the last government and the government before that and on it goes. 
It’s been interesting to see a few people, like Don Brash and a number of economists, who are starting to dispel the rosy perception of the Key and English era.  With as many moving parts as an economy there’s always dispute over the best things to do.
So all you can take from this speech is whether or not the current mob have a clue.  And canvassing the business team here and other observers, it becomes clear that the alleged economic incompetence of this government is being over-hyped.
I found it hard to dismiss a lot of what was said today.  Ardern said that the New Zealand economy faced a number of global challenges.   She listed them as skills shortages, lack of investment in the productive economy, a shallow national pool of capital, an infrastructure deficit and low productivity. I particularly like the shallow pool of capital thing because it drives me crazy. When kiwis do well and have some spare money, they stick it into an investment property rather than a local business making jobs.
She also mentioned that the government is committed to running a strong surplus.  She says we have the best net international investment position ever recorded, stable and low interest rates forecast for some time which ought to spur investment and the lowest unemployment rate in a decade. Again, that’s all true. 
The Reserve Bank’s unprecedented statement this year that interest rates aren’t going up for some time hasn’t been fully appreciated. If business wants certainty, well there’s cost of capital certainty right there.  With stable low interest rates and growth in the mid twos and up over the next three years, there’s never been a better time for businesses to invest in improving their outputs.
So the whole speech confirmed the way I’ve felt for a while.  The government believes in some theories that I disagree with but they’re not nearly as bad as some will have you believe. New Zealand is not going the way of Venezuela and it never will. That’s a lazy intellectual slogan.
There was a bit of a stir when the government appointed Christopher Luxon from Air New Zealand as the chair of a business advisory panel.  After all, he’s no wet.  He’s mates with John Key and he certainly can run a big business. Some are taking this as a sign that Labour is listening to business.  But I would offer this advice.
The business confidence slump that Labour should worry about isn’t happening around the board tables of our biggest companies.  Looking at some of the listed companies that reported their financial results this month, Craigs Investment Partners' Mark Lister said this week you'd be "hard pressed to deduct we're on the cusp of a major economic slump".
No, the businesses that are really worried are the small ones with 20 or so workers for whom any tinkering with minimum wages or compliance costs makes a tangible impact on their bottom line. Maybe a few more owners of Small and Medium businesses should be on that advisory panel if they want to know how business is feeling.

LISTEN TO RAYLENE RAMSAY AND ANDREW DICKENS DISCUSS THE STORY ABOVE
A bridezilla in Canada has disowned friends and family in a foul-mouthed Facebook rant after she cancelled her $60,000 ($NZ68,800) wedding because guests refused to give her $1500 ($NZ1700) to attend.
The unbelievable story went viral after shots of the bride's ridiculous rant were posted to Reddit.
The bride, Susan, took to Facebook to announce the cancellation of her wedding four days before the event, blaming guests for not funding her Kardashian-style wedding.
The post is very lengthy so here is a quick rundown if you don't feel like reading the whole thing — but I really recommend you do as it is totally worth it.
It starts with Susan announcing the cancellation of the wedding and that her and her partner have split due to "recent and irreparable problems".
She then goes on to explain how she had always dreamt of having a huge "blowout" wedding but as her and her partner had only saved $15,000 ($A15,700) they turned to their guests to fund the $60,000 event.
They told guests they had to send $1500 if they wanted to be invited to the wedding and were absolutely shocked when hardly anyone coughed up.
"I SPECIFICALLY, I mean SPECIFICALLY asked for cash gifts," she wrote.
"How could we have OUR wedding that WE dreamt of without proper funding?"
Eventually all of the bride's friends and family turned on her, including her fiance, over her obsession with having a huge wedding.
Read the full post for yourself to really experience it in all of its bridezilla glory.

Strap in, it's going to be a long read. A long, long read. Photo / Reddit 

Yes you read that right, they got the more expensive venue because a psychic told them to. Photo / Reddit





The bride really didn't get why her friends and family didn't want to pay thousands of dollars. Photo / Reddit




The final straw was when her ex suggested a Vegas wedding. Bad idea. Photo / Reddit















Finally the rant came to an end. Photo / Reddit

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She's done it in the movies, now she's doing a whole album of it.
Cher has begun to release music from her forthcoming Abba cover album, Dancing Queen. 

The two singles so far, Gimme Gimme Gimme and SOS, will feature on the album released next month, just in time for her tour in Australia and New Zealand. 
The song has already earned an ecstatic response from fans, with caller Ally singing her praises to Andrew Dickens above. 
LISTEN TO ALLY AND THE SONG ABOVE

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