Answers For Elders Radio Network

Who will care for the family caregiver? Daphne Davis from Pinnacle Senior Placements in Seattle, Washington joins Suzanne Newman on the Answers for Elders Radio Show to suggest various ways to provide some relief for your family caregiver.

Daphne says, "Recognizing what someone does day in and day out – and it gets to be month after month, and sometimes year after year – just articulating your gratitude to someone has more power than you can even imagine. It lifts the spirit. And it can just be verbal, and just be, 'Thank you. I don't know how you do what you do. Your energy is incredible. You always have a smile for Dad, no matter how confused he is.' The simplest of things can go so far. When you're in a place of gratitude, you can have a heart more of abundance."

Reach Pinnacle at 1-855-734-1500 or visit PinnacleSeniorPlacements.com.

Learn more:

* Pinnacle Senior Placements at Answers for Elders.

* About Daphne Davis

* Hear more podcasts with Daphne Davis

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

Daphne Davis from Pinnacle Senior Placements in Seattle, Washington joins Suzanne Newman on the Answers for Elders Radio Show to talk about family, starting those tough conversations about aging parents and senior living, and being guided by your highest family value.

Daphne says, "We need to just stop and decide: What are our highest values for me individually, or for our family, or for my relationship with my mom and dad? And for you to have a benchmark – or a litmus or an understanding – of what your highest value is and then work toward that highest value... One [example] would be that I want my parents to be as happy and as healthy and safe as possible while honoring their own wishes. That could be a very standard highest value. You, as an advocate for whoever those people are, parents or otherwise, tweak that in terms of, how can I help them gracefully get into this next chapter of life and still honor their wishes? Because sometimes we have to be very proactive and sometimes we have to say the words that are not easy to say.

"And so I'd like to give you just some ideas of how to do that. As an adult child, that could be, 'Mom and dad, this is a tough place for me to be at, and I respect you completely, but I'm seeing the following.' And I would love to have a conversation about this without anybody getting defensive, if we can. And throw some humor in it, if that's your personality. Or if you're a friend and you see something from a distance – maybe it's a couple or somebody that you see at church that's a caregiver for everybody in the church – be able to say to them, 'My heart is is kind of hurting for you right now. And I am your friend. And I feel almost a responsibility to kind of have a conversation. We can have it once and be done, but it's on my heart and I really want to point out some observations that I have.' These are words off the top of my head. And I don't know your personality. These are my personality words, but have the courage to talk about what's going on. Even though someone is saying, 'I'm going to die in my house and go out for feet first,' even though somebody says, 'Nope, I'm not leaving my home,' even though somebody says, 'We're fine,' you still have the courage to push through that, because people aren't fine."

Reach Pinnacle at 1-855-734-1500 or visit PinnacleSeniorPlacements.com.

Learn more:

* Pinnacle Senior Placements at Answers for Elders.

* About Daphne Davis

* Hear more podcasts with Daphne Davis

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

By 2030, more than 70 million people in the United States will be serving as family caregivers. What do families typically know and don't know about the resources that are out there? If you're a family member of a senior loved one, this is something that you can do to help. Gathering information doesn't mean you're making decisions yet. Daphne Davis from Pinnacle Senior Placements in Seattle, Washington joins Suzanne Newman on the Answers for Elders Radio Show to talk about the importance of asking questions.

Daphne says, "If you're an adult child, or if you're a power of attorney, for someone, I implore you, ask questions. Any question, it does not matter. If somebody is at the hospital and you see on the board in the hospital room that they are on a no-salt diet, ask about that. Why? It might be something that's very prudent for right now, or it might be something that's in their chart from years ago and isn't germane to today.

"When people go to their doctor's office, or when they go to get admitted to the hospital or you're in the E.R. As the patient, you have the right to ask any question.. If [the answer] didn't make sense, or you're not clear about it, ask again. It's your body. It's your life. Be bold, and just ask questions."

Regarding resources that are are available to help. Daphne says, "Most counties have a resource called Aging and Disability, and that's a really good source of information to find out what services are in your county or in your community. It is a good resource. Many of those resources are free, or they can be at a reduced rate through the county and that's [paid for] through your taxes. Make use of those services that your county has.

"Another resource in your community: You may have a person that's called a placement navigator, or someone who does placement and referral for housing and care for seniors. And that's what I do. I'm a resource for people. Typically our services are free to the consumer. And so we're a point of information, an information post. And when you reach out to someone, that's not saying, 'Oh, I'm ready to move,' it's a place to gather information.

"Another place that you can sometimes find resources is through your church. If you've got a faith system, your pastor, your rabbi, a priest, they may know of some resources for you or people to help you get through a situation, or just to inform you about how how does this system work."

Reach Pinnacle at 1-855-734-1500 or visit PinnacleSeniorPlacements.com.

Learn more:

* Pinnacle Senior Placements at Answers for Elders.

* About Daphne Davis

* Hear more podcasts with Daphne Davis

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

Actor Gene Hackman and his wife Betsy Arakawa were both in the news recently. Both had been found dead at their home, her from a rare hantavirus and Hackman from advanced Alzheimer's. She had been his primary caregiver. Daphne Davis from Pinnacle Senior Placements in Seattle, Washington joins Suzanne Newman on the Answers for Elders Radio Show to talk about caregiver burnout. Currently 53 million Americans are family caregivers, providing unpaid assistance to their loved ones with either health conditions, disabilities or aging issues.

Suzanne says, "The thing that's so overwhelming is, she didn't take care of herself. She let her disease progress to the point where she passed away – and she was on the phone with her doctor. Of course, we will never know exactly the facts of that phone call, but the whole point is, it's overwhelming. They tend to ignore their own health, their own symptoms, their own lives. They let themselves go down the rabbit hole, all in the sacrifice of caring for someone else. And this is a classic scenario. "

Daphne says, "It is. But it also isn't necessarily something that's front and center, it sneaks up on them. The power of stress on our bodies is not always able to be seen when you're in it. And sometimes even from your family, if you've got daily routine with your family, they may not see the effects of your added responsibilities and being a caregiver. But internally, your body is is fighting to hang on. And that changes from decade to decade. The more birthdays you have, the more profound stress can be on your body functions. And so when you have a doctor – or a friend, or someone who's visiting you after seeing you maybe a few months ago – really, really listen to what they're saying. Please don't dismiss it."

Daphne adds, "If you're the caregiver, you are in the thick of it and you are in the routine of doing what you do on a daily basis. I'll speak as a daughter. I remember when my mom would say, 'Daphne, today wasn't that bad,' or when she had a really bad day, she'd say, 'Tomorrow will be better,' or one that was really stressful and she was caring for my dad, who had Lewy Body dementia and Parkinson's, when it was a very stressful day and things really were falling apart, that's when she was most often ready to get some additional care. And then the sun comes up the next day, and she says, 'Now, Daphne, I can go another day.'

"It's those deepest days that you really need to listen to, because that's the denominator that determines how much stress you have. Yes, you are a caregiver, and your heart is going to be full of compassion to keep going... You're on this roller coaster, and your body is spitting out adrenaline and cortisol with that roller coaster. And the faster that wave gets on the roller coaster, the more stress you're going to have. We’ve got to give ourselves a break. We have to do it."

Reach Pinnacle at 1-855-734-1500 or visit PinnacleSeniorPlacements.com.

Learn more:

* Pinnacle Senior Placements at Answers for Elders.

* About Daphne Davis

* Hear more podcasts with Daphne Davis

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

Senior Care Finder's CEO and Co-Founder Christie Stukenholtz joins Suzanne Newman on the Answers for Elders Radio Show to talk about how is technology changing the way for families to connect. She also shares advice on what to look for on other websites to make sure you're getting impartial information, or not getting sent to a call center where your contact information will be be shared.

Christie says, "By 2030, all Baby Boomers will be of retirement age or older, and that's about 73 million people. And about 70% of them will end up needing some sort of care. And I will tell you that the industry as a whole is not prepared for this level of demand. Thinking about home care, that's very much something that many, many people are considering these days. And there are tremendous, amazing technologies that leverage AI, and different things that allow people to stay at home longer.

"We leverage AI on our platform Senior Care Finder to really help guide someone through the process. It's more than just selecting a community, or finding a home care agency that can you or your loved one. It's everything else that goes with that process. If someone has to move, what do I do with their stuff? How do I manage their finances? There's so many questions. And so we want to be that place that you can land, take a deep breath, and at least feel confident in your next decision, and know you have technology and tools that are aiding you in that process.

"One of the things we talked about is really being in control of your search and feeling confident of the resources that you have, in their transparency, and all of that good stuff. As I think about tips that I would give people as they're searching, if you get to a site and the first thing you have to do is give all of your contact information, press pause. They're going to do something with that information. And so just be aware of that. If you get to a site where it looks like a directory site, but suddenly you start to notice that the phone number on every single listing is exactly the same, pause. Think about what that might mean. They're going to fail to filter you to a call center and probably leverage your information in your experience to a lot of communities that weren't relevant. Have your antenna up and listen to your gut, that that is important, and we want to be a resource that's non-biased and transparent, meeting the consumer where they're at, and in holding their hand through the process."

Check out the Senior Care Finder website.

Senior living communities and senior care providers can claim their free listing.

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

Trying to find care or a senior living community for a senior loved one? Senior Care Finder's CEO and Co-Founder Christie Stukenholtz joins Suzanne Newman on the Answers for Elders Radio Show to share her top tips. Listen in as she explains:

1. Start the conversation sooner than you think.
2. Use a platform like Senior Care Finder to do your research, even anonymously.
3. Many want to stay at home. Start thinking about what that option would look like.
4. Go with your gut when you're interviewing people.

Check out the Senior Care Finder website.

Senior living communities and senior care providers can claim their free listing.

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

If you're in that process of later life care, or caring for a senior loved one, this is a very important conversation. Senior Care Finder's CEO and Co-Founder Christie Stukenholtz talks with Suzanne Newman on the Answers for Elders Radio Show about the first steps families should take when they come upon a crisis about their loved one.

Christie says, "I'm from Lincoln, Nebraska... With my grandmother being in Washington state, or my grandpa now being in San Antonio, Texas, a platform like Senior Care Finder can help. Using and leveraging those virtual tours, looking and reading at consumer reviews, those help you. And a site like Senior Care Finder can also give you the tools to be able to narrow down your search, find the top priorities that your loved one needs, and then also arm you with those questions to ask."

"My first piece of advice is, if you don't think you need to have the conversation, it's the perfect time to start the conversation. Because nobody wants to be a burden. But people have wishes and they have desires of how they would like to spend their days, and that matters. As soon as you can start the conversation, the better. But secondly, really understanding, what are their non-negotiables? What are their most important things, that if nothing else matters – they need a place that's pet friendly, or they need a place that is in close distance to family so that they can come visit, or they need a private room. Something is at the top of that list. And so having that conversation will help you research, and do the navigating, will help you prioritize and get really clear on what places might be the best fit."

Check out the Senior Care Finder website.

Senior living communities and senior care providers can claim their free listing.

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

Senior Care Finder's CEO and Co-Founder Christie Stukenholtz shares her personal story with Suzanne Newman on the Answers for Elders Radio Show. Suzanne recalls that she needed a resource like this years ago to help her make the right decisions for her mom.

Christie says, "My first interaction with senior care and searching for options was for my grandmother, who lived in Washington state. I lived in Nebraska, and my dad called and informed me that she could no longer live independently at home, and asked if I could be helpful in figuring out where she could go next. And quite frankly, my husband, Heath, worked in the senior living industry. I was pretty savvy. I was a smart researcher. I did not think it would be very hard. So I confidently said yes, and quickly had a rude awakening of how hard that process was.

"We were fortunate to get on a plane and rent a car, and drive around to a number of different communities, and tour them – many of which did not look anything like the few pictures I found online – and ultimately found a great place for her. But on that flight home in 2015, I told Heath, this cannot possibly be the experience that everyone is going through. Not even a place to see a comprehensive list of my results, or really understand the differences of care types, or how you pay for it. It's a big, confusing world... And if I can't be the one to care for my mom or my grandma, it's a really, really big deal who that person is, or community is. And so I really felt a pull to to jump in and do something about it."

Christie adds, "Now, consumers, in my opinion, are much more educated, because they're doing research on their own right. And they want to learn and gather information, and they don't want to be sold to. And we really study the behavior of that person, and try to meet them where they're at. So that's really the need that Senior Care Finder is trying to fill, is being a place that people can go take a deep breath and really start educating themselves, and start that process that so many times can feel very overwhelming."

Check out the Senior Care Finder website.

Senior living communities and senior care providers can claim their free listing.

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks.

Hear some memorable success stories from seniors who have followed through with the Whole Life Living Approach at GenCare Lifestyle from Leon Grundstein and Danielle Parker. Leon is Founder and CEO, and Danielle Parker is COO,

Leon shares the story of a Parkinson's patient determined to be able to get our of her wheelchair and walk again. "We had a woman move into our Ballard community. She had Parkinson's and she was in a wheelchair. One of her goals was, 'I really want to be able to walk again.' So we have, certified trainers included in the rent in all our buildings... We started developed a program for this woman that started off in the pool, so it allowed her to walk. She did weight training and she slowly, from walking in the pool, graduated to a walker, and she was using a walker instead of a wheelchair. And she was very excited about that.

"And she continued the program and she was dedicated herself, and had the drive to complete the program. Then she started lifting weights and doing boxing, a good thing for Parkinson's. Anyhow, she hit the next level and she was able to use a cane. She had all the gumption going, and [eventually] she was able to stand up and walk 100 feet without any support. She was able to be much more mobile and manage her disease much, much better. And we were always very proud of that, and proud of the trainer that helped her get there."

Danielle shares the story of a woman with diabetes. "She's still living at our Renton community. When she moved in, she self-described as overweight. She did have type-2 diabetes and she was on insulin. She joined our walking program. And in the program, they would wear a pedometer and they would track the stats and ultimately at the end of the program, they were walking to Las Vegas, so that they would celebrate with a casino. Casino Royale night at the Community, which was lots of fun. But the real reward for this resident was she went and saw her doctor after the program. She was no longer diabetic, no longer taking insulin. And felt better than ever. She had lost 70 pounds. She's a testimonial on our website, and she's wonderful, just a wonderful resident. She would later go on to beat cancer, and attributes a lot of that to the program."

Learn more at gencarelifestyle.com.

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks

No matter where you are in the U.S., here's good advice when researching senior living communities. Leon Grundstein, Founder and CEO of GenCare Lifestyle, and Danielle Parker, their COO, join Suzanne Newman on the Answers for Elders radio show. Leon talks about the questions people should ask and things they should look for in a senior living community. Danielle talks about looking at reputation scores and online reviews, but also points out that a community should be asking you about your values, interests, and wishes too.

Leon says, "In my opinion, when you walk into a community, the first thing you want to see is activity. You want people out and about, talking to each other, doing stuff, because that is an indicator of what kind of energy is in the building. The most people want activity. You want to be in a place where you can hang out and have fun and meet people and socialize.

"Second is when you engage with staff members like the housekeeper or even the maintenance guy, when you walk by, do they say hi or do they look at the floor? So you want them to engage with you.

"You want to have a meal there. See what the food’s like. You want to meet the executive director, because you can get a feeling of how the leadership is in the building."

Danielle addresses what to look for in online research. "Looking at reputation scores, of course, reading reviews online, are critical to know what the current residents and family feel about the community. Looking at any compliance information that's available online. Most cities and states have public information about the care and wellness services that are being provided at the community.

"But I think the one of the most important things is, really, pay attention to the questions that you're being asked. The first time you go, how well are they working to get to know you and your needs as a person? [Do they ask] what does your day look like? What's important to you? What do you value? What are your traditions, and how do you spend your holidays and days at home? And and what do you want to do, if you could do anything? You really want to find a community that matches those values and aligns with who you are as a person, who you aspire to be as a person, and is ready and willing to partner with you on that journey."

Learn more at gencarelifestyle.com.

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks