Answers For Elders Radio Network

So many of us have a loved one that may have special needs, a disability. Maybe a spouse has just been diagnosed with dementia and needs care, and they're afraid of losing their house or their money. If you're in that situation, or maybe your parents are, or a child that has special needs, this episode will be important. Elder law attorney Andrea Lee from Legacy Estate Planning joins Suzanne to talk about special needs trusts and how people can protect their own resources.

Andrea explains, "A first party special needs trust is a special needs trust that is created using an individual's own resources. They're the least popular... An individual might use a special needs trusts under the following circumstances. Let's say they were perfectly healthy, but they were in a car accident and they suffered a traumatic brain injury and now they need assistance for long term care benefits, like Medicaid or VA, or they're accessing Social Security. But they can't access those benefits because they have their own money. Maybe they've successfully were employed or maybe they had an inheritance... If it's an individual's own money, we then have to create what's called a first party special needs trust, where we use the assets of that individual to create that special needs trust. They do have a lot of limitations, so we don't use them as often as the other type of special needs trusts... The applicant has to be under the age of 65... and it must have a Medicaid payback.

"I practice in the state of Washington, and even though special needs trusts are created based on a federal law and special needs, trusts exist in all 50 states. And the way each state's interprets and treats those special needs trusts is different. So even though I can talk about special needs trusts in the broadest terms, if somebody is really interested in talking about how special trusts could serve them individually, they really need to meet with an elder law attorney in the state where they reside, because that elder law attorney can formulate a fantastic estate plan that will protect their assets, allow them to not lose their house, that will allow them to preserve some of their assets. And there's a lot of ways that we can preserve assets for a married couple, and allowing them to not become destitute, just because of a terrible diagnosis.

"Most of my clients are much better served with what we call a third party special needs trust... The third party special needs trust is a trust that's created with the assets of a non-applicant... They can choose the trustee. They cannot be their own trustee, but they could choose a trusted child. They could choose a professional organization. That money is protected, and it's used to provide good quality of life quality for the beneficiary."

Learn more:

• Andrea Lee
• Legacy Estate Planning
• Legacy Estate Planning podcasts

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks

We don't spend enough time finding out everything we need to know. Have you got your legal paperwork done? L.E. "Ellie" Brown from Chateau Retirement Communities joins Suzanne to talk about how to find resources for seniors that many people don't even know exist.

Ellie says, "There are some great programs out there that don't cost anything to the family. Senior Care Finder is one that I really enjoy a lot. They don't capture your information, but you go on there and you do a search, and it'll show you all the Google reviews, and the different sites in your area, and then it gives you that opportunity to contact those communities yourself... Google reviews are a little tough at times because you get angsty employees, and during COVID, It was rough, but that is still a way to go look, overall... It's got all that vibrant information. Or, there are some amazing smaller paid advisors that will really walk the walk with you.

"I always say tour, tour and tour and tour and tour. Have lunch, attend activities in the building. You get to know the building. I have people that didn't move in for four or five years, but they came to every event. They came to the big events. They came to dinner once in a while, or lunch. They get to know the community... So find that place that feels like your mom could see herself living there, and then and go tour, tour and tour. Tour first as the daughters, or the son, or whoever the caregiver is, and narrow it down. Don't exhaust [mom or dad] with five or seven tours, narrow it down to two or three."

Chateau Retirement provides independent living, assisted living, and memory care services. They have been locally owned and family operated for more than 25 years.
Chateau Retirement has three communities in Washington's Seattle/Puget Sound area: Chateau Pacific in Lynnwood, Bothell Landing in Bothell, and Chateau Valley Center in Renton. Visit them online at https://www.chateauretirement.com or call 800.960.1944.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

L.E. "Ellie" Brown from Chateau Retirement Communities joins Suzanne to share how families can best support their senior loved ones. Ellie shares her top three tips for getting through the transition when a loved one starts struggling.

Chateau Retirement provides independent living, assisted living, and memory care services. They have been locally owned and family operated for more than 25 years.
Chateau Retirement has three communities in Washington's Seattle/Puget Sound area: Chateau Pacific in Lynnwood, Bothell Landing in Bothell, and Chateau Valley Center in Renton. Visit them online at https://www.chateauretirement.com or call 800.960.1944.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What signs of aging are of concern as we're supporting our senior loved ones? L.E. "Ellie" Brown from Chateau Retirement Communities joins Suzanne to talk about the warning signs and facing up to the various dynamics of denials, not just from ourselves, but also our loved ones.

Ellie shared her personal, family experiences with warning signs. She says, "For my mom, her health was clearly in decline. She wasn't recovering as quickly from colds. She was seemingly depressed at times. So that was a sign to me. Not as vibrant anymore. Then I started hearing about falls, which — she was minimizing the falls.

"Those crafty little parents of ours, they fib. They lie about the falls. My dad minimizes it, and then he's got bruises all up and down [his body]. My mom did the same. And the compensation, the lack of sleeping, cognitive – telling the same story over and over again, not remembering, the short-term [memory] going. But also I don't think we pay enough attention to the appetite and the depression as well, so that these are some significant signs. More doctor visits, more of that kind of thing."

Chateau Retirement provides independent living, assisted living, and memory care services. They have been locally owned and family operated for more than 25 years.
Chateau Retirement has three communities in Washington's Seattle/Puget Sound area: Chateau Pacific in Lynnwood, Bothell Landing in Bothell, and Chateau Valley Center in Renton. Visit them online at https://www.chateauretirement.com or call 800.960.1944.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

L.E. "Ellie" Brown from Chateau Retirement Communities joins Suzanne to talk about how to best support our senior loved ones, particularly as they get older and might need to consider senior living. Ellie works with families every day, and shares common situations that she encounters as families try to help their loved ones. Ellie is Vice President Sales - Strategic Market Analysis, Branding & Sales Leadership for Chateau Retirement.

Ellie finds that a lot of families are facing similar challenges, obstacles, stereotypes about senior living, and misinformation. "It could be as simple as the daughter says, 'I visit with my mom every day, so she's got socialization.' I coach my sales teams to say, hold up now, that's not the same as peer-to-peer socialization. Visiting my dad is definitely visiting, but when he's with his friends of the same age group, that's different... At the end of the day, how do we best support our parents at that point, our loved ones who still have every right to make all their decisions as independent, honorable people that have made it this far in life? With the exception if it's a dementia-type thing or a cognitive thing. Because we are starting to shift that, we're having to start making some decisions for them. What does that look like? And those conversations are hard, and there's no there's no perfect roadmap, right? Every family has their own dynamics, but how do we know when to say what we need to say, and how to say it? When does tough love come in? Because we're worried most of the time, [when] something's changed."

Chateau Retirement provides independent living, assisted living, and memory care services. They have been locally owned and family operated for more than 25 years.
Chateau Retirement has three communities in Washington's Seattle/Puget Sound area: Chateau Pacific in Lynnwood, Bothell Landing in Bothell, and Chateau Valley Center in Renton. Visit them online at https://www.chateauretirement.com or call 800.960.1944.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We don't spend enough time finding out everything we need to know. Have you got your legal paperwork done? L.E. "Ellie" Brown from Chateau Retirement Communities joins Suzanne to talk about how to find resources for seniors that many people don't even know exist.

Ellie says, "I think there's a cottage industry for everything we need in this. It is out there. But here are some of the ideas. There are companies that will literally come in as a real estate company, and help you move to senior living. It will box everything up, put some to sale for an estate, sell some they'll get rid of, all based on your wants and needs. There are companies that will come in and help you do financial review... Bridge loans. There's elder law, who can do the power of attorney executor, especially if there's cognitive issues. Think about this. If your loved one has dementia or Alzheimer's and they're too far gone, they can no longer sign for a power of attorney. Then what are you going to do? Then it's a whole other thing to try to get them the support and love they need."

Ellie adds, "There are some great programs out there that don't cost anything to the family. Senior Care Finder is one that I really enjoy a lot. They don't capture your information, but you go on there and you do a search, and it'll show you all the Google reviews, and the different sites in your area, and then it gives you that opportunity to contact those communities yourself... Google reviews are a little tough at times because you get angsty employees, and during COVID, It was rough, but that is still a way to go look, overall... It's got all that vibrant information. Or, there are some amazing smaller paid advisors that will really walk the walk with you.

"I always say tour, tour and tour and tour and tour. Have lunch, attend activities in the building. You get to know the building. I have people that didn't move in for four or five years, but they came to every event. They came to the big events. They came to dinner once in a while, or lunch. They get to know the community... So find that place that feels like your mom could see herself living there, and then and go tour, tour and tour.

"Tour first as the daughters, or the son, or whoever the caregiver is, and narrow it down. Don't exhaust [mom or dad] with five or seven tours, narrow it down to two or three."

Chateau Retirement provides independent living, assisted living, and memory care services. They have been locally owned and family operated for more than 25 years. Chateau Retirement has three communities in Washington's Seattle/Puget Sound area: Chateau Pacific in Lynnwood, Bothell Landing in Bothell, and Chateau Valley Center in Renton. Visit them online at https://www.chateauretirement.com or call 800.960.1944.

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

L.E. "Ellie" Brown from Chateau Retirement Communities joins Suzanne to share how families can best support their senior loved ones. Ellie shares her top three tips for getting through the transition when a loved one starts struggling:

1. Communication. I see that most families are not as open as they could be. If you have siblings, be on the same page. All noticing different things.

2. Have that initial conversation with your loved one, as soon as possible. Hearing from them, learn their wishes. Hopefully you're discussing this early enough to be able to honor their wishes.

3. Start doing your research. Find programs, learn what's out there, what are the options.

Chateau Retirement provides independent living, assisted living, and memory care services. They have been locally owned and family operated for more than 25 years. Chateau Retirement has three communities in Washington's Seattle/Puget Sound area: Chateau Pacific in Lynnwood, Bothell Landing in Bothell, and Chateau Valley Center in Renton. Visit them online at https://www.chateauretirement.com or call 800.960.1944.

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

What signs of aging are of concern as we're supporting our senior loved ones? L.E. "Ellie" Brown from Chateau Retirement Communities joins Suzanne to talk about the warning signs and facing up to the various dynamics of denials, not just from ourselves, but also our loved ones.

Ellie shared her personal, family experiences with warning signs. She says, "For my mom, her health was clearly in decline. She wasn't recovering as quickly from colds. She was seemingly depressed at times. So that was a sign to me. Not as vibrant anymore. Then I started hearing about falls, which — she was minimizing the falls. For a long time I found that she was hiding quite a bit of her decline.

"And I'm doing this now with my father, and he would hate to hear this, but I show up early when I tell him I'm going to come visit. When your family member is prepared to see you, they've gotten cleaned up, buttoned up, and they put their package on, because that's your mom or your dad. Their job, in their mind, is to protect you. Also their pride: 'I don't want what's about to happen, to happen to me, where they find out that I actually am declining, and probably looking at the next step.' And then there's the family dynamic: 'That's my child. I don't want to be a burden or a bother.'

"I also don't think we pay enough attention to the appetite and the depression as well, so that these are some significant signs. More doctor visits, more of that kind of thing."

Chateau Retirement provides independent living, assisted living, and memory care services. They have been locally owned and family operated for more than 25 years. Chateau Retirement has three communities in Washington's Seattle/Puget Sound area: Chateau Pacific in Lynnwood, Bothell Landing in Bothell, and Chateau Valley Center in Renton. Visit them online at https://www.chateauretirement.com or call 800.960.1944.

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

L.E. "Ellie" Brown from Chateau Retirement Communities joins Suzanne to talk about how to best support our senior loved ones, particularly as they get older and might need to consider senior living. Ellie works with families every day, and shares common situations that she encounters as families try to help their loved ones. Ellie is Vice President Sales - Strategic Market Analysis, Branding & Sales Leadership for Chateau Retirement.

Ellie finds that a lot of families are facing similar challenges, obstacles, stereotypes about senior living, and misinformation. "It could be as simple as the daughter says, 'I visit with my mom every day, so she's got socialization.' I coach my sales teams to say, hold up now, that's not the same as peer-to-peer socialization. Visiting my dad is definitely visiting, but when he's with his compadres of the same age group, that's different... At the end of the day, how do we best support our parents at that point, our loved ones who still have every right to make all their decisions as independent, honorable people that have made it this far in life? With the exception if it's a dementia-type thing or a cognitive thing. Because we are starting to shift that, we're having to start making some decisions for them. What does that look like? And those conversations are hard, and there's no there's no perfect roadmap, right? Every family has their own dynamics, but how do we know when to say what we need to say, and how to say it? When does tough love come in? Because we're worried most of the time, [when] something's changed."

Families experience different aspects of denial. Ellie says, "There's multiple things going on there. As the adult daughter, there's my own denial going on. I don't want my mom or my dad, I don't want to accept this [situation]. Also, I have a busy life. I probably have stuff going on myself, job, grandkids, kids, my own stressors. There's a little bit of that disconnect. But also, parents are parents. They're great at faking it, great at confrontations. They're great at mom's pretending dad's better than dad's [really] doing. That's why the inquiries, and the leads, spike in January and February, because everybody sees each other during the holidays and we've got eyes on them."

Chateau Retirement provides independent living, assisted living, and memory care services. They have been locally owned and family operated for more than 25 years. Chateau Retirement has three communities in Washington's Seattle/Puget Sound area: Chateau Pacific in Lynnwood, Bothell Landing in Bothell, and Chateau Valley Center in Renton. Visit them online at https://www.chateauretirement.com or call 800.960.1944.

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/

People sometimes put their estate documents in a file and forget about it. Elder law attorney Steve Waltar joins Suzanne to talk how to keep your estate plan documents current.

Steve explains, “If you buy a car, would it be wise to never, ever maintain it? Of course not. Would it be okay to never fuel it? So that's my analogy, a good car. You would take a look at it, you'd keep it maintained, you keep it fueled. It's going to run most efficiently.

"So as a rule, we say people ought to come in every five years, or if there's a change, they come to us. But I've had enough clients say, Steve, I want to make sure it's current. And I thought about the idea of life insurance. And I thought, 'Hey, we insure things to make sure they're going to work.' And so we developed something called a VIP plan. And for $600 a year, they get one hour with an attorney, that's already worth over $600. And they get updates, like if you have changed the name of your agent and your powers of attorney, your health care, your will, you get those all routinely updated... Also for the trust clients, they get to update their assets. It's a way to like make sure you're meeting with an attorney routinely. Family get a discount then, because you're a part of this membership. I'm an estate planner, so my kids, when they turned 18, they got powers of attorney, they got health care, they got HIPPA, all that stuff. But I think a lot of my clients, their kids go off to college, something happens, and the parents can't even be notified about the medical status of their daughter or their son, because they don't have a HIPPA authorization. So our VIP means you get free free healthcare powers and HIPPA authorizations and all that for your kids up to age 25. It's totally a huge benefit."

Steve adds, "I had a client. We did a living trust. They had a good size estate, the assets from growing. The wife had cancer, things got bad. We did some reviewing of, you know, what was needed for health care powers and stuff like that, and figured everything was ... Anyway, the wife died, and we learned later that the financial advisor moved $3 million out of the trust and made it joint with a survivor, probably thinking they were doing a favor. But what that did is, it gutted the estate tax planning and ultimately it's costing the family about $240,000 because of the assets that were moved out of the trust.

"The annual review with the attorney is priceless, really. You catch those sort of things when you look at who is the owner, who are the beneficiaries... It's good to review that stuff."

Visit the Legacy Estate Planning website at waltar.com for beneficial articles, resources, and webinars.

* Steve Waltar: https://www.waltar.com/our-firm/about-our-firm/

* Books: https://www.waltar.com/resources/books-published-by/

* Webinars and seminars: https://www.waltar.com/seminars/

* Find an attorney in your state at https://www.aaepa.com/

Hear more podcasts with Steve Waltar at Answers for Elders: https://answersforelders.com/tag/stephen-waltar/

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/