“I cannot believe this show is on television,” says Christi about Season 2 Episode 2 of Dance Moms. “It’s so absurd!” It’s also hilarious. It features some of the funniest lines in the show’s history, including the name that Christi called Cathy, which producers asked her to modify because it was too funny to leave out but too obscene for a family audience. This latest recap is just as funny, and features a story of Kelly eating at a Chinese restaurant with Abby that lives rent-free in Christi’s head. 

In this episode, Kelly and Christi react to Jill’s sense of entitlement and willingness to overstep her bounds and play dirty right from the beginning. Abby continues to play dirty, too, accusing Kelly of being drunk at rehearsal, and insinuating to Nia that Holly doesn’t love her. Kelly’s resulting tirade manages to be unintentionally hilarious. Vivi-anne continues to be a source of deadpan comedy for Christi, delivering two lines that have since gone down in Dance Moms history, one of which is Christi’s favorite of all time. 

They discuss the dance at this week’s competition which is Katy Perry meets the Andrews sisters, complete with rats and snoods that are the bane of their existence. They only wish the show would choose better music to dub over the original choreography music, and that they would show the actual dance moves that made their daughters stars in the first place. 

Quotes

“This episode has a ton of really iconic lines from the show that have been quoted a billion times, so this will be a fun one to recap.” (8:48-8:54 | Christi)

“It’s so funny that the show always opens with Abby screaming ‘Girls, let’s go!’ because it makes it seem like our girls aren’t ready. Meanwhile, our girls have been sitting there for four hours waiting to go.” (9:57-10:08 | Christi)

“I am astounded at the bullshit that is said out loud to these children. I don’t remember these things and when you watch it back, it’s horrifying!” (20:50-21:01 | Christi)

“This is where it starts to get dirty, and there will be lots of this going on in Season 2. Abby gets pissed because as we and our kids become popular with the fans, Abby wants us gone. She doesn't want anyone on the show who the fans like, except for her favorites or herself. So she would get so pissed off if anybody liked us, so that’s why she wants you and your kids gone. Because people liked you.” (45:39-46:08 | Christi)

“We’re in the dressing room, and we’re starting to do their hair and it’s hair everywhere, there’s rats and snoods, Abby is wearing a frickin tracksuit with aggressive rhinestone jewelry. It is Dance Moms at its finest.” (1:00:09-1:00:24 | Christi)

“This is why I liked Candy Apple weeks because we were very united as a team. It felt good.” (1:11:37-1:11:43 | Christi)

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