Armageddon Afterparty

Jon makes his triumphant return to The Bunker with updates from vacation. The guys ponder a Rett vs Rhett battle to the death, and they wonder whether all cops are actually dirty. They talk about Mr. Belvedere, parallel parking, and Rosemary's Baby. Jon is fascinated with a Catholic television channel. Rett drinks cheap whiskey, and is fascinated with pegging. They discuss some horrible news stories. There are some Trump updates and talk of Hotel Indigo, goons, and Road House.

On this week's very special episode of The Armageddon Afterparty, Rett and TJ get together in The Bunker to record an episode without Jon. There is talk of sex, mortgages, artificial insemination, torn buttholes, and OJ Simpson. They discuss the planting of evidence, and they go pretty hard on cops and Oglethorpe County. TJ tells a story of taking delaudid, and Rett calls Floyd Mayweather a fag. And they discuss the point of the podcast.

Rett drops some tequila knowledge, which leads to the now-famous Canadian Hobbits bit, which of course leads to the guys coming up with the concept of the Buttmusket. Jon finally gets his hot brown. TJ talks about the McGregor-Mayweather fight. The guys talk about Sammy Sosa's new look, the Westboro Baptist Church, the Amish, and the origin of the name Dick Loverboy. They discuss movie theater masturbation technique and cousin lust, then things just fall apart at the end.

Rett drops some coke knowledge, ponders the ultimate bidet, and tells the Zima and cigarillo story again. Jon gets worked up. The guys discuss the crazy Gwinnett knife bitch and ponder the age old question: Krull or Beastmaster? They talk about the G20 protests, Trump fatigue, and terror attacks. They wonder about the spelling of dookie and decade-specific hotness. Rett talks about his river tripping and introduces everyone to Man Lard. They talk about Bear Fights, the Georgia Theatre, and Earthworm Jim. And they end up discussing Rett's magnum opus, The Jizzmopper Trilogy

The guys gather in The Bunker once again for talk of chanterelle mushrooms, bugs on cars, and aging comedian rapists. Jon talks about Philando Castille and brings everyone down, then talks about health care in the US and brings everyone down again. The guys talk about Wonder Woman. Rett calls Jon on his oppressive ways as Jon opines about gender equality. TJ shits his pants at work. The guys respond to some tweets, and Rett talks about Six Flags on Acid.

TJ kicks things off by imploring everyone to be nice to members of the service industry. The guys cover the Georgia Prison Bus Escape in real time. Rett discusses this week in America. Jon recounts his recent road trip with the missus. And then shit just really falls apart at the end.

This one starts out with a bang, and by bang, I mean an Amber Alert. Jon gives an I-85 update and tells tale of almost shitting his new pants after a trip to the Dwarf House. TJ talks about a possible foot fetish. Rett and Jon recount their recent kayaking trip. The guys discuss Kathy Griffin, Tiger Woods, and how awesome it is to safely drive drunk. Jon explores a weird cop paranoia. The guys fondly remember Gregg Allman, Manuel Noriega, and the marriage of Mary Kay Letourneau and Vili Fualaau. They later talk about homeless gay sex and gigantic equine penises, because of course.

The guys start off talking about this week in TrumpAmerica then follow that up with some new AA theme submissions (big shout out to Blac Gold and Texas T). TJ gives some baby updates. Rett reviews Alien Covenant. Jon provides some more information on the Two Dogs story. They mourn the loss of Roger Moore and tell mushroom stories. Rett gets drunk on whooskey, invents Multiple Scaroscious, calls out Mark Bell, and finally loses his voice for the best possible reason

The guys gather for the first time since the birth of Baby Pigroast, and boy is there talk of the birth of Baby Pigroast. Tearing, rock hard placenta, umbilical cutting technique, vagina slime - nothing is off limits. Later, Jon learns that Chris Cornell has died. The guys get an I-85 update, discuss Patriots, and debate the Titty Threshold. There is talk of porn stashes, Christian guilt, and pee versus poo fetishes. They debate whether someone is allowed to be gay and racist, and they swap stories about the proper technique for un-sticking two dogs who have just had sex.

Once again, your fearless hosts gather in The Bunker to talk about fast food breakfasts and the fact that TJ's wife is about to have a child. Rett gets stitches. Jon complains about fake news. They talk about North Korea, new baby stench, and blowjob robots. Rett takes a bit of a turn around minute 59. Then, for unknown reasons, Jon brings up Chris Benoit and Rett brings up Cropsy.