Part 1 in this conversation on Trauma in relationships.

This is a biggy! Not only in time but in content ;)  

Trauma is such a big deal these days, and thats a really good thing! We've learnt a lot about trauma in recent years through advances in psychology, neurology and medical imaging, we've really come a long way!  

And of course, there's no where in life that the symptoms of trauma show up more than in intimate relationships.  

In this episode I talk about my understanding of trauma, how to understand it in our selves, and how to recognise it in our partners.  

There is of course potential to have some emotional responses to some of the things I talk about in this episode, so ensure to take care of yourself and reach out to a trusted support person or a professional if you need extra support.  

If you feel you'd like to do some deeper work with this in your own life then please get in touch with me at [email protected]  

And of course please like, share, comment and subscribe!  

Enjoy

We all know that all good relationships are built on a foundation of good communication, so why do so many of us SUCK at it so bad???  

The truth is that communication isn't the issue, it's emotion that gets in the way of good communication.  

In this episode I talk about this most important of the fundamental skills we need to develop to establish and maintain good, healthy and satisfying relationships. I give you some great insights and understandings around how to communicate effectively as well some very important DON'Ts and some equally important DOs.  

I'd LOVE to know how this lands for you so please share your comments, questions and feedback.  

And if this is useful to you please like it and support someone else by sharing it with them.  

Enjoy!

One of the most common challenges that I hear about from many couples in long term relationships is the reduction of sexual desire and passion within the relationship compared to how things were in the early days, and of course I've had my own experiences of this too!

This is such a common and very natural part of being in a long term relationship, and definitely doesn't automatically mean that there is something "WRONG" with the relationship or either of you!

It stands to reason that the sense of excitement, novelty and adventure that exists between us when we first meet is going to wain as we become much more familiar with each other over time, when the unknown becomes known. So how do we get the passion back?!?!

In this episode I discus this phenomenon in depth, aim to help you understand whats at play when this happens, what we need to be aware of in ourselves, and how we can intentionally create opportunities to put some fuel back on the passionate fire.

If you'd like to dive into this a little deeper then here's one way. I mention my online course Stoking the Fire which you can find here: https://www.nictovey.com/resources/

And of course, if you'd like to work with me 1 on 1 or as a couple then please get in touch here: [email protected]

I'd love to read your comments, questions and feedback!

Enjoy

Alternative relationship styles to the standard monogamy paradigm aren't exactly new but they have gained a lot of mainstream attention and appeal recently.  

In this episode I discuss some of the options we have when it comes to consensual non-monogamy, the potential challenges and pitfalls that can arise and how to deal with them.  

Non-monogamy is definitely not an easy lifestyle choice and definitely isn't for everyone, but in my view, if the old paradigm isn't working for us, its worth exploring our options in a way that is safe, consensual and mutually agreed upon.  

If this is an area you would like to explore or have had some challenges with, and you feel you could benefit from some support, please get in touch at [email protected]  I'd REALLY LOVE to read your comments and questions so please put them below.  

Enjoy!

How to have those sexy conversations?  

Many of us really struggle to have open, honest and vulnerable conversations about sex - about what we like or dislike, what we'd like to experience or what we fantasise about.  

There is so much baggage that we hold that gets in the way of these sometimes awkward, often uncomfortable, but very necessary conversations.  

In this episode I explore why we find it so difficult and what we can do to help us get over our selves to have these important and potentially fun conversations.  

Please like, comment and share if you feel this is valuable. I'd love to hear from you about your own experiences and perspectives.  Enjoy!

Fatherhood is one of, if not THE most powerful initiations a man can go through, yet some miss out on the full impact and responsibility that this offers.  

In this episode I share a lot of my own experience of being a father, the gifts and the challenges. I also discuss some of the really important issues I see in the world when it comes to fathers, the importance of their role and how we all could support them more.  

There is definitely some potential for this episode to bring up some emotions for some people so please take care of yourself and seek support if you feel the need to.  

If you would like to reach out and talk to me about any of the issues I've approached here please email me at [email protected]  And of course please, like, comment and share with your your friends.

Porn has of course been around for a very long time, but never has it been so readily available as today.  

In this episode I discuss my views on porn and its problems, and how we can engage with porn in a healthy way, as individuals and couples.  Please let me know your thoughts with a comment below the video.  

If anything in this episode touches a nerve please reach out to have a chat at [email protected]

There is no area of life where emotions are at play as much as they are in intimate relationships. And most of us are woefully ill-equipped to effectively deal with them. So of course, this becomes the route of the majority of relationship disconnect.  

In this episode I try (and fail) to offer a short but in-depth discourse on my view of emotions, their purpose, what to do with them and how we can create a healthy relationship to both our own emotions and our partner's.  

This is SUCH a big topic and so I can not hope to cover it all in a relatively short video. If this is an area you feel you need to do some deep and intentional work with then get in touch, lets work together. Head to my website to read more and connect with me there: https://www.nictovey.com/ I'd REALLY LOVE to read your comments, questions and feedback! How has this content moved you, stirred you, pissed you off???

Of course monogamy is very much the preferred relationship style for most people, but what does monogamy even mean? Unfortunately monogamy isn't often clearly defined and many assumptions get made causing all sorts of problems.

In this episode I explore some of the all too common assumptions around what monogamy means and encourage some deep and meaningful conversations to help you define your particular version of monogamy.  

Enjoy! And please like, subscribe and provide any comments or questions in the comments section

Parenthood is the most powerful initiation a person can undergo, and so it is one that ideally should be entered into with some careful consideration.  

In this episode I discus some of the things I feel are important to consider and to discuss when raising the question of bringing a child into the relationship.  

I share some of my own experiences on the parenting journey also.  

I hope this is useful to you! If you enjoy the video please like, share and remember to subscribe. I'd also love to read your comments, questions and feedback.