It’s Ash Wednesday, which means reflection, sacrifice, fish fries… and Lern voluntarily giving up the F-word for 40 days. Yes. You read that correctly. On this daily comedy show, we kick things off by diving into Lent traditions, Catholic guilt, church fish fries (shoutout to “God’s Cod”), and whether giving up profanity might actually make you physically weaker. Because apparently science says swearing makes you stronger — and now Lern’s about to lose all upper body strength by Easter.

We debate what to give up for Lent (Scott’s belly button habit, Moon’s post-7PM snack raids, Rizz attempting “gratitude”), and somehow spiral into a full breakdown of whether profanity is vulgar… or if being a jerk without swearing is worse. It’s spiritual growth but make it chaotic.

Then things take a hard left turn into mall culture. Is the Galleria officially the worst mall in St. Louis? Is West County Mall thriving while the others crumble into ghost-town sadness? Why does one wing smell like sewer regret? We unpack mall nostalgia, aging into adulthood, and the emotional trauma of Panera closing. This is the hard-hitting journalism you expect from your favorite daily comedy show.

But wait. We’re not done spiraling.

Lern announces she’s attending a green burial seminar at the Missouri Botanical Garden because she wants to be composted. Not buried. Not traditionally cremated. Composted. Naturally, this leads to arguments about “rot boxes,” raccoons, methane, and whether microbes need to be burped like kombucha. Completely normal morning show behavior.

And just when you think we’ve peaked? Dementia Village.

We discover there’s a real-life European concept where memory care patients live in a simulated neighborhood with shops and restaurants instead of sterile hallways — and we immediately decide that’s where The Rizzuto Show retires together. But then Rafe plants the intrusive thought that maybe one of us already has dementia… and this entire show is just a memory loop inside a Wisconsin nursing home.

So yeah. Totally standard Wednesday for a daily comedy show.

If you came for Lent talk, mall drama, green burial debates, and existential dread disguised as humor — welcome home.

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