Ashley Kelsch

The reason we aren’t taking advice from anyone outside of us is because we have thoughts and beliefs that are in contradiction to what we are saying we desire and believe. 

Yes, we are back here again. Those pesky sneaky thoughts that are running the show that we have very little awareness about. 

Did you know that 95% of your thinking is comprised of default thoughts- unconscious-programmed, inherited, thoughts absorbed without much your awareness. 

Today I want to talk about the dominant sentences you hold about yourself, your life and the experience you are creating for yourself from them and a valuable hack that will help you CHANGE YOUR MIND.

This is the advice you want to take! Receive!! AND GIVE!!

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This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

Today I am talking about the thoughts and your belief you hold and store. 

But first, do you know the difference between a thought and a belief? Thoughts are tiny sentences that are just running through your brain. They are not optional in the way that you chose them, but they are optional in the sense that if you decide you don’t want to believe in them, you can actively work on removing them.

Meaning they are optional. 

Beliefs are thoughts that you have chosen to think on repeat. Beliefs require zero introspection -meaning you have beliefs that you’ve adopted or chosen to believe without ever taking into consideration anything about what it means.

Many of those thoughts and beliefs were downloaded into your brain during the first 4-7 years of your life.

Our brains are absorbing all the lessons and messages around us - and modeling the lessons and the behaviors of the people around us.

Without question.

Sometimes, if we are lucky, we start to question those things and then decide for ourselves what we want to believe.

I want to talk to today about the negative messages and beliefs we form about ourselves based on and interpreted from the outside world.

Based on what the outside world has told us about ourselves. Thoughts and beliefs about ourselves we’ve never questioned that aren’t serving us.

The unconscious beliefs that are stored in your primitive brain and your limbic brain that are buried below the surface are the ones that are running the show.

There is a way to feel into the unfelt. A way to discover and uncover these buried messages and either integrate them or remove them altogether.

Tune in today and discover why Feeling the Unfelt is your way to wholeness and reclaiming your power.

Next time we will discuss how to interrogate those beliefs and turn them into ones that serve you.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

Hi friend,

Welcome to this weeks episode of Wait, What? Uncovering and Overcoming Shame

This week I’m talking about why it’s imperative to feel through your shame, the benefits of perseverance, Monica Lewinsky and how to manage your nervous system and mind so you can move on.

Let me know your thoughts and comments below!

Have a lovely weekend,

❤️ ash

Wait, What? is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

If you read my most recent column, An Audit of My Heart, you know that I had this realization or epiphany that I have been blocked falling and being in love. After hurting someone ten plus years ago I stopped trusting it and myself.

Last year I made an ask to the Universe/God/Source/Creator (my H.P) I proudly stated that I was finished with the casual encounters and ready to pursue a committed relationship- if it was in the plan for me- I would be willing to do the required work on myself to meet someone who was spiritually fit and emotionally mature.

Prior to that request I had this belief that I didn’t want to be in a relationship because I “didn’t want to deal with someone else’s b.s”.

The first thing my H.P. revealed to me was it wasn’t anyone else’s b.s I had been dealing with.

It was all mine…

I guess that’s what you get when you say you’re willing to do the work:

Work.

It’s not uncommon for anyone who decides they want to pursue a goal, or attain a desired outcome they’ve never had before to face some major obstacles.

A majority of them from within.

This week I’m sharing with you how, in my experience of making any commitment, I have found myself contending with my own residual inner turmoil. Unconscious patters and behaviors that, in an effort to keep me safe, have held me back.

Or have simply just been hiding out, waiting for me to uncover and be reminded of my worth.

And how to love myself unconditionally.

By listening you will learn a few tips on how you can overcome that brain of yours.

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

On this week’s episode, Dating May Include Side Effects, I’m discussing how the process can feel like emotional rollercoaster and the side effects that come with it, like feeling rejected, embarrassed, or addicted to checking messages, may leave you wanting to quit altogether, or worse, make the outcomes mean something negative about you. You are going to feel stretched. However, I want to reassure you that such feelings are normal and linked to the brain's natural response to discomfort and the unknown.

I was reminded of a podcast episode I recorded almost exactly two years ago, Be Your Own Best Date and how it set off my journey to ditch all the self imposed rules I had around dating and become more open to the process.

What if there was a different way to go about it? A more rational approach to dating that focuses on facts and circumstances rather than getting caught up in emotional drama.

I've noticed the people in my life that end up in partnership, are not only mentally resolved, but have adopted what I call an “All Math, No Drama” mindset.

Additionally, don't let societal expectations and pressures related to being in a relationship or married be an indicator of your self worth or value. Focus on your own healing and self-love, rejecting the notion that you have to in "something" to be worthy of love.

Dating may include side effects, but there is a way for you to treat them: A Pleasure Practice! Solo sex, self touch, self pleasuring, turn on and orgasms are the best way to rewire the brain, remove limited beliefs and blocks, and integrate new ways of experiencing not only yourself, but the world.

What we are exploring: 🍯

* The Motivational Triad: Our Human Design is to Seek Pleasure, Avoid Discomfort, Be Efficient

* Feeling overwhelmed and wanting to quit is a normal response to the challenges of dating

* Learn how to go inward and focus on your emotional experience, rather than on what the other person is doing

* All Math, No Drama: To dial down the emotions, adopt a new way to approach dating where you focus on facts rather than drama

* Societal expectations about relationships and marriage can impact one's self-worth, but self-love is crucial

* Explore a "pleasure practice" of solo sex and orgasms as a way to rewire the brain and promote self-love

For the Sex is Great Supporting Subscribers…. Let's Go Deeper 🦹🏻‍♀️📚🤼

To receive the video of this podcast recording and the corresponding worksheet that offers the questions and journal prompts mentioned + additional ones for you to use as prompts for deeper inquiry subscribe as a supporting member ❤️

Let’s learn to lose ourselves in the moment, not the (hu)man

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

Learn about Adele’s beautiful, handcrafted objects and how she advocates for sexuality and sensuality while speaking to gender and racial inclusion. We discuss the challenges she has faced being censored on social media and public platforms for her work, and how her work is so much more than simply creating sex toys.

 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/86

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

I’m sharing my thoughts on dating and showing you the importance of being your own best date before attempting to find a partner. The One will come when it’s time and not a minute sooner, so I’m showing you how to listen to your inner wisdom and strengthen your inner sense of self and the liberation available to you when you trust and surrender to this process.

 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/85

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

Tune in this week and hear a candid conversation with Faith as they share their journey with self-love and feeling intense love for another person as well as the concept of learning to express who you are as a person. We discuss social constructs, feminism, patriarchy, and love, and Faith walks me through some concepts I am somewhat unfamiliar with.

 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/84

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

Tune in to hear my thoughts on Sex/Life and the narratives and messaging it perpetuates around gender roles, sexual intimacy, relationships, and love. You know I don’t hold back, so I’m sharing why it left me feeling so pent up and some questions I’d encourage you to ask yourself if you still want to watch it.

 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/82

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe

People have been emailing, calling, and texting me asking things like where they should go on a first date, what lube they should use with their partner, what toy would be best in the bedroom, how they should communicate their sexual desires, and more. You're curious, I get it. So I'll give you what you want.

 

Get full show notes and more information here: https://modernrenegades.com/81

This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit ashleykelsch.substack.com/subscribe