Ask The Duo Podcast

For most, the perception of getting married is to do it once do it right. Especially when we’re surrounded by movies, rom coms and Disney fairytales. However, not all love stories end up with the classic ‘happily ever after’. This certainly wasn’t the case for Amelia’s dear friend Jaz. Who shares her, what sounded like a really long challenging and lonely journey through her first marriage.

What may have seemed like a never ending battle of struggles, from cultural boundaries to self worth & self esteem and many other psychological barriers. We can definitely say that she has learnt so much and have managed to pick herself back up even from the deepest darkest places, ALL BY HERSELF!

She constantly managed to recognise what wasn’t helping her move forward and sought out ways to help her.

If this is something you’re currently going through or know of someone who is battling the same challenges, please give this one a listen because it is such an inspiring story with much to learn from!

We are so proud of Jaz today and how far she has come and still manages to be the funniest, most down to earth and bubbliest person ❤️.

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Having labels and identities is a difficult one. It does help others relate to you and vice versa. However, at the same time, labels can create a stereotypical view on a certain person before you fully know someone. Which is an unhealthy habit.

Also, in Dr. Gabor Maté’s interview with Jay Shetty on On Purpose podcast, he mentioned that there are no healthy identifications. This is because, when you identify yourself with a label, you limit yourself. However if you forget the labels or and look beyond a societal identity. Being able to find your core purpose & goal behind what you do is much more meaningful.

In the episode we discuss some of the labels we’ve been categorised under and discuss how we felt about these identities. One common which I'm sure all asians have heard of is “You’re asian so you must be good at maths”.

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Perfection, is not something we personally never strive for. Let us tell you why, if you strive for perfection, then it means you will stop growing once you’ve reached that point.

At the same time, if you’re postponing and event or action due to waiting for something to be “perfect”, that day may never come and you end up disappointing yourself. Alternatively, you get it out in the world and people who want to judge, will still judge. Which is why we really resonate with what Gary Vee’s said “Perfection is the disguise for insecurity”.

Instead of striving for perfection, let’s strive to accept that not everything is going to be perfect but as long as you’re willing to take on feedback and continue to grow, you will get further than waiting for the perfect moment. This is called “strategic ignorance”.

Don’t let that insecurity own you. Own that insecurity and discomfort and let yourself grow!

Resources

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Paul Bloom, a psychologist who studies cognitive science mentions that  there are 2 types of suffering. There’s chosen and the unchosen.  However, today we’d like to highlight why everyone needs to put  themselves in more 'chosen suffering' or what we see as challenging  yourself. 

The reason why we enjoy to challenge ourselves is because it brings so  many different positive outcomes. It can teach you to be grateful, teach  you appreciate and just find the good in difficult times. It can also  push you out of your comfort zone and help you grow.   

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Our mentions:

Why you should want to suffer | Paul Bloom

Comfort Zone to Growth Zone

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"Oh I'm getting old" or "I'm too old for this" I'm sure we've heard these phrases at least a few times in our life. Which is what got us thinking, are people afraid of aging?

Resources:

Craziest Things People Have Done to Try and Stay Young

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Youth is currency
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Did you know that it is actually said (by Judith Glaser) that 9 out of 10 people actually miss the mark in communicating their message across? No wonder sometimes no matter how hard you try to explain something, some people just don’t understand your point.

This is because, everyone actually has a different way of receiving communication.

This lead to us wanting to know more about communication styles and types. So with this episodes will will discuss the both of these and talk about what we think aligns with our own style and type. The outcome was actually different to what we expected.

The conversation also sparked the idea in our mind from an all time favourite podcast of Amelia’s the Rise and Conquer podcast hosted by Georgie Stevenson who interviewed Jordanna Levin. There was a particular part of that episode where they were talking about everyone’s ideal communication style should be using the assertive style.

Listen in to see how we break this apart and tie in the different types of communication styles and let us know which one you think you are!

Mentions

Rise and conquer podcast / Georgie Stevenson / Jordanna Levin

Resources 

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In business, they often refer to a strategic planning tool called the SWOT analysis. It’s used to assess where they sit internally and externally with other business. The attributes they assess are their strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. Which is something we will be apply to ourselves today, focusing on our weaknesses.

We see weaknesses less of something that you’re bad at, but it’s a space where you have your opportunity to work on to turn it into a strength much like a business would too. So let’s hear which 3 weaknesses we have picked for ourselves and we will look to review this in 3-6 months time to see what progress we’ve made!

We're also interested to hear what are some things that you'd also like to work on and turn that weakness into a strength! 

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Nothing worse than coming back from a holiday and getting married, feeling refreshed and ready to jump back into work. Just to get made redundant. However, as Arnold Schwarzenegger says, "Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths” and we are big believers of everything happens for a reason!

Unfortunately, for Sam this actually wasn’t the first time he’s been made redundant. However, just like everything else, with time comes with experience and you start to get a grasp of how to deal with redundancy better each time.

So today we’ve got Sam to walk us through his emotion and career journey as he battles this challenge. On top of that, this actually wasn’t his first time being made redundant so we will also be asking him what he feels he has learnt from each of these experiences.

If you are currently going through the same obstacle, feel free to send us a DM as we’re always here to listen and share these experiences together and let us know how you worked through a redundancy.

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Mentions:

Find your super power by Chris Do

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Halloween is coming, so of course we have to whip out the ghost stories and we can’t do it without our good friend Sam Lam (there some spooky chats in here, so listen if you dare). He has definitely had many trick or treat buckets full of stories to share around. Including this one about a friendly ghost that just wanted to have a good chat ya know.

That aside, as we’re always big on bringing perspectives to everything, we wanted to also discuss with Sam about his experiences, history and perspectives on supernatural activity.

Amelia was once extremely scared of these things and would have never imagined that she’d be sitting with these boys to talk about these things. However, knowledge is power and it is interesting to know the reasons behind why these beings may still be lingering around and knowing that not all ghosts are bad!

One thing during our discussion was that we realised almost every culture has a way to describe ghost but it’s oddly all quite similar.

If this is your jam then tune on in, but please don’t speed home after listening to our stories & please drive safe. 

This episode is a little different to our usual, but hope you enjoy and stay spooky 🦇! Happy Halloween 🎃!

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If you're loving what you hear, make sure you give us a ⭐ star rating on our podcast platforms, like, tag or share it with people you think could do with a dose of @asktheduopodcast ❤️!

This conversation stemmed from a post from Angela Chang (@angelasitan) who is a Pro Muay Thai fighter that  talked about people are so quick to judge and thinks she has a problem when she says she’s hitting the gym every day. However, if it was about going out for drinks after work, people are okay with that.

This definitely struck a cord with us and we’ve both experienced similar situations where we get snarky comments for hitting the gym too much or eating too healthy (these 2 are the ones we relate to the most).

But obviously we don’t want to generalise everyone into one basket. So we will dig deeper into things that we could change ourselves to find a middle ground for these situations.

If you’ve felt this way too, let us know what you feel is a bad habit that shouldn’t be normalised in the comments on our Instagram!

Original post:

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CiuhVtqpcBn/?igshid=MDJmNzVkMjY=

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If you're loving what you hear, make sure you give us a ⭐ star rating on our podcast platforms, like, tag or share it with people you think could do with a dose of @asktheduopodcast ❤️!