#AskAMan

Anonymous and her fiancé have been together for about a decade and have two kids together. 

She says he’s a good man, ambitious, knows what he wants and goes for it. And says she’s never had to deal with infidelity in her relationship. 

She’s the kinda person who is friends with her exes but when he realised this, he asked her to cut ties with them and she did but he’d always bring it up even months later. She also had male friends but he wasn’t happy with that as well and she cut ties with those friends. 

In a recent situation, he became upset after seeing chats between her and her manager which he found to be a little too personal. 

Anonymous and her husband have been together for ten years and they have three children together. 

For about half of their marriage she lived in another town so they were in a bit of a long distance relationship initially, which she thinks put her in a bubble and she wasn’t aware of certain things about her relationship and her partner. 

Things started to change when they started living together with her husband, he became a different character towards her. The behaviour became worse after her first pregnancy…

Anonymous was with his wife for 8 years, and in the last few years of the marriage he fell ill which affected him and he also lost a lot of weight.

After all of this, she broke up with him saying that he used to abuse her and had put her through a lot…

Anonymous had a casual fling with guy no.1 who she met at work, but things never got serious, especially because guy no.1 is married. 

They continued with their friendship and one night he went out clubbing with guy no.1 and his friends. She then clicked with guy no.2 who is guy no.1’s friend. They ended up hooking up that night and have since started dating. 

She asked guy no.2 that they don’t reveal their relationship to guy no.1, but this made guy no.2 suspicious that there’s something going between anonymous and guy no.1. 

Anonymous has been in a relationship with his partner for about 10 years now and says the relationship was great until she started changing: He heard that she was spreading rumours about him with her colleagues which hurt him and brought tension to their relationship. 

At some point, after he found a new job, she revealed to him that she was pregnant which she found weird because they were intimate with each other at the time…

Anonymous is married with three children, however, her husband used to be very abusive towards her but they did deal with it through counselling and it has been resolved for the most part, even though he did get abusive towards her earlier this year. 

She also suspects that her husband is secretly dating men as she found suspicious chats on his phone 4 years ago with his friend that she was aware dated men….

Anonymous broke up with the father of her child after experiencing a lot of infidelity in the relationship. 

She then got back together with her ex and says their relationship is generally great but he is frustrating her sexually, as he doesn’t last very long during sexual intercourse. 

They’ve spoken about this and he’s told her that he’ll work on it but she feels like he’s not doing much to fix the situation. She does add that he did have a medical condition which might have affected he’s sexual function.

She doesn’t know what to do. 

Anonymous has been with her partner for about 5 years now and they are currently in a long distance relationship because she lost her job and moved back home. 

She then found out earlier this year that he’s actually married to someone else, who he paid lobola for a while back. 

She wants to leave him but he’s been begging her to stay in their relationship. He’s been diagnosed with stress and a mild stroke, which he claims is as a result of her wanting to end things with him. 

She adds that he’s been a great partner to her and their relationship has been great despite the fact that he’s married to someone else. 

She doesn’t know what to do. 

Anonymous met her current partner about two years ago while they were both in relationships with other people, so they decided not to date each other at the time. 

Months later they were both single and decided to date. Things went well for a few months but their relationship regressed and they broke up. 

They kept in contact and when she found herself needing a place to stay due to challenges with her dad’s side of the family, he asked that she move in with him and she did. 

She fell pregnant two months after moving in with him, which she thought was fine because they had discussed the possibility of having children. But he revealed to her that he has someone that he’s made relationship promises too and now doesn’t know what to do…

Anonymous and her partner have been together for several years, live together and have two children. 

Her partner saved money over do about 10 years and used some of that money to secure a property for their family. She was a bit taken aback by this as she thought he’d use the money to complete their lobola/marriage process. 

He still has money saved but he’s thinking of getting a car, and she now finds herself wondering if he’ll ever be able to prioritise completing their marriage process