#AskAMan

Anonymous is asking whether she should accept lobola in rands or in dollars…

She started dating guy no.1 two years after the end of her 25 year marriage. Things were going well with guy no.1 and they had solid future plans until she realised that he was cheating on her and things were not going well. 

She recently met guy no.2 online and he lives overseas. She says things are going well in that 6 month relationship and he even wants to marry her with his Dollars. 

However, guy no.1 wants to get serious with her and also wants to marry anonymous with his Rands.

Anonymous is calling on behalf of her friend, who has been in a toxic relationship for many years now and has children with her partner. 

This has been going on for many years and as friends they’ve been trying to support her but it’s become a lot and the children are also voicing how the abuse in the house has become too much. 

Her parter has expressed that she really would love to leave this relationship but doesn’t know how to go about doing that.

Anonymous and his partner started dating in 2018 and broke up in 2022. They then got back together in 2023 and have been together ever since. 

He recently found out that she had been having an affair with another man, after the same men told him and shared explicit pictures and videos as evidence of the affair. 

He confronted her about it, she apologised and said that she was done with the guy and was willing to tell anonymous anything he wants to know about the affair, which allowed them to move forward with their relationship. 

However, anonymous is struggling to move forward as he reflects on the extent of this betrayal…

Anonymous, who has been with her current partner for about six years, says she always knew their relationship wouldn’t end in marriage.  She’s a writer and has written books about her past abusive relationships, which her partner has read. However, she says that whenever they argue, he brings up her previous partners, claiming he understands why they treated her that way.

Anonymous broke with his girlfriend about two weeks ago, after going through a tough season in their three-year relationship. 

He says they were experiencing a lot of stress in their relationship, she I. particular is currently studying so that was putting a lot of pressure on her. 

Their sex life started taking a dip and this caused a major rift in their relationship, further pushing them away from each other…

Anonymous is in her early forties and has 4 children, including one who’s living with cerebral palsy. She’s divorced and tried dating but found out that the guy was cheating on her so she ended it. 

Fast forward to 26 May 2026, she met a guy  who is almost 10 year younger than her, they hit it off and she says he’s been an amazing partner towards her, very romantic and caring. 

Her problem with him is that he’s short tempered and can very moody at times….

Anonymous has been with her partner since 2022 and says things were great between them for the first two years but changed in 2024 after her partner’s father past away. 

She says she started feeling insecure after he cut-off his dreadlocks and that caused a lot of turmoil between them, which eventually led to their relationship becoming toxic. 

They broke up in May of this year, but continued to be friends and have a sexual relationship

Anonymous met a guy a few years ago in a taxi and they would talk to each other which led to him helping her in finding a learnership. 

She works close his workplace and he would even drive her to work everyday, and they ended up having a sexual relationship, however, cut him off afterwards as she didn’t enjoy being with him. 

After a couple of weeks of avoiding him, she contacted him again as she didn’t have money for transport and he would drive her...

Anonymous and her partner have been together for about three years. They were both married to other people before they started their relationship, she has one child from her marriage and he has three. 

Her partner has a problem with the fact that she speaks to her ex-husband and father of her child, because he fears that she still has a romantic relationship with him.