Astrology Zoned: A Susan Miller Fan Podcast

IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE, LIBRA!!!

Well, sort of. Susan Miller is so focused on the terror that awaits all of us this November that she doesn’t devote nearly enough of her forecast this month to October and Libra season. So Laura and Alex want to wish the Libras an especially happy birthday since Susan doesn’t seem equipped to do so at this moment. 

The episode begins with an update from Laura in Hawaii. She has been tracking the activity of a local volcano, the explosive vibes of which turn out to be in line with Susan’s forecasts this month. Laura also reveals that she was granted access to Susan’s Discord by a friend and noticed a number of posts from someone the gals dub Maybe-Valerie, the possible successor to Not-Courtney. 

The gals then turn to Susan’s note to her readers. Let’s just say that Susan did not enjoy September 2025. She gives an update on her apartment woes and on her most recent Susan Miller Business Woman initiative, which sadly was the victim of eclipse season! That’s right–the Fireside Chat Network was eclipsed out. Laura and Alex report on the entire debacle, which includes detailed instructions from Susan Miller Customer Service Representative on how subscribers can request a refund. 

Next up is a discussion of the horoscopes. The gals believe that Susan’s terrible September influenced her writing this month because her predictions are A LOT. And not in a positive way. In all the October forecasts that the gals read, Susan feels compelled to focus on November, a month that evidently no one will enjoy and will be lucky to get out of alive. 

Laura and Alex tell Libra what to expect in October, but mostly what to expect in November. Then Laura informs Taurus that while Jupiter is on their side, they must accomplish everything in October before the terror of November hits, and Alex warns Scorpio about the awful birthday month that awaits them. The episode ends with Laura’s attempts to make everyone feel better after such traumatic horoscopes. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 07:45

Libra: 17:46

Taurus: 25:48

Scorpio: 34:08

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, VIRGO!!!!

Susan Miller declares that you are the star of the zodiac this month, so get ready to shine! 

After a somewhat professional countdown to air, Laura and Alex start the episode with a special embezzlement update, also known as the time when they discuss whether Susan made any accurate predictions the month before. And it turns out that the whole world was embezzled because Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce announced their engagement on what Susan forecasted as the flirtiest day of the year. Great job, Susan! 

Next up the gals recap Susan’s note to her readers, which is all about the upcoming eclipses in Virgo and Pisces. These eclipses are mostly positive, so of course Susan can’t resist reminding her readers about the chaotic and life-ruining eclipses that Scorpio and Taurus brought into the world a few years ago. Laura and Alex kindly request that Susan cool it on the Taurus/Scorp slander! The second half of the note is dedicated to Susan’s new show on the Fireside Chat platform, so there is much to learn from Susan Miller Business Woman and Susan Miller Tech Support. 

Then it’s time for Virgo’s positive birthday horoscope. There are a number of exciting things in Virgo’s chart this month, but unfortunately the forecast is mostly a repurposed version of Susan’s essay on eclipses. 

Finally the gals tell Scorpio and Taurus what to expect this September. Alex informs her Scorps that a party full of smiling people is a possibility, and Laura tells Taurus to stop waffling because decisions must (and will!) be made. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 4:00

Virgo: 12:58

Scorpio: 24:58

Taurus: 34:53

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

HAPPY LEO SEASON!!!

Susan Miller has a lot to say this August, although most of it is about her newest Business Woman initiative. 

After a brief chat about AI and sparkly shoes, the gals jump right into a discussion of Susan’s note to her readers, where the exciting collaboration that was teased in July is revealed! Laura and Alex made a number of guesses last month about what this new venture could be, and it should come as no surprise that these two Susan experts basically nailed it. 

The episode continues with a big birthday wish for Leo! Although Susan didn’t devote any words to Leo (or astrology at all) in her note because she was too busy with business, she makes up for it here with the promise of a marvelous month full of productivity and planets doing stuff. And get ready to be zinged by fleets of Cupids at the end of the month, Leo! 

Next up Laura gives a recap of Taurus’s August forecast. As usual, Susan believes that Taurus is the celestial favorite whose month will be filled with fame and fortune. Then, after an awkward plug for her app, Susan tells Taurus to circle August 26 on the calendar because it’s a romantic day made for flirting! Alex then reveals that this month’s outlook isn’t great for Scopio, but that conditions will improve at the end of September. The Scorps should also look out for money that comes not from their salary, but from the very long list of sources that Susan provides. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 07:10

Leo: 18:40

Taurus: 26:32

Scorpio: 34:19

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CANCER!!!

Laura and Alex are back from a short summer break to tell Cancer about the incredible birthday month that awaits them. And it’s good news for everyone this July, although all of the signs should try to get things together in the first half of July because Mercury retrograde will cause the usual trouble later in the month. 

The gals dive immediately into Susan’s note to her readers, in which Susan devotes far too many words to the distribution of her calendar. Luckily, in her final paragraph, Susan provides a juicy teaser for an initiative she will announce in August, so Laura and Alex give their best guesses as to what she might be planning.  

Next up is Cancer’s forecast. The gals are surprised to learn that Cancer is in the middle of its Emerald Year! Although after page upon page of wonderful predictions from Susan, it’s less of a surprise. The planets are doing things and Cancer is benefitting! On top of that, Cancers receive the ultimate birthday present from Susan Miller: a personal story in their horoscope that involves a prophetic dream and foiled grand larceny. 

The episode continues with Laura’s recap of the Taurus forecast, which includes the promise of career growth, money, and the start of a new chapter. Laura also explains that she’s aligning with the stars this month due to multiple pre-embezzlements (translation: Susan made predictions for July that are in keeping with activities Laura had already planned). Alex ends the episode with a discussion of the Scorpio horoscope. Get ready for the July new moon, Scorps, when glittering beams could result in career success. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 1:26

Cancer: 12:13

Taurus: 20:23

Scorpio: 29:21

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

IT’S TAURUS SEASON!!!! 

Which means that it’s birthday time for Laura, the pod’s very own magnificent Taurus! As usual, Taurus is the celestial favorite (or maybe just Susan’s favorite). In fact, all of the signs have wonderful things awaiting them if they can just make it to the flawless new moon on May 26. 

Laura begins the episode by telling Alex that she gave herself a birthday present, and it’s none other than Susan’s premium app! It only took almost twenty years, but one of the gals finally bought something from Susan Miller Business Woman. Stay tuned to find out if the premium app changes Laura’s life. 

Next the gals recap Susan’s Note, which contains far too much astrology and not nearly enough personal updates. Susan also explains that she didn’t write her famous Year Ahead this year; apparently the first half of 2025 was so terrible that she feared the book would be too much of a bummer. Based on Susan’s history of not delivering this book in a timely fashion, Laura and Alex suspect there may have been other reasons she didn’t write it. 

The horoscopes are up next. Laura begins by telling her fellow Taurus babies that fighting planets will make things tricky at the start of May, but they should get excited for the stunning new moon at the end of the month. This new moon is so incredible that Susan can’t even find the words to describe how amazing life will be after May 26 (although of course she tries!). Alex then tells Scorpio that their struggles are coming to end and to look out for money that could be coming their way through any number of channels. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 12:18

Taurus: 20:27

Scorpio: 31:29

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE, ARIES!!!!

And Susan Miller says you can expect good news throughout your birthday month! However, you may want to put on your beekeeper suit just to be safe because everyone should be ready to enter the prickly briar patch and weather cosmic storms.

Laura and Alex begin with a recap of Susan’s Note, and it is all business: astrology business and Susan Miller business. There are so many planets changing signs right now that Susan cannot get distracted by tales of her health or apartment rental but instead must focus on the stars. Of course, though, there’s always time for a little discounted calendar plug. 

Next the gals wish Aries a very happy birthday! Neptune is in Aries for the first time since 1861, and it is a BIG DEAL. All of this planetary commotion and activity means good things for Aries. Just don’t get fooled by Neptune’s veil, which can lead to obfuscation and confusion. Check yourself before you wreck yourself, Aries! 

Then Laura tells Taurus that April is a great time of review and reflection before all of the planets that have been retrograding regain their full strength and things really get going in May. Also, Taurus should be aware that Pluto and Mars are bickering, which could lead to problems. Let’s just say that Susan has an interesting idea for how to deal with this. Finally, Alex tells Scorpio to keep their schedules light during April. And she passes on Susan’s repeated warning that they must take care of their health!  

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 2:30

Aries: 6:10

Taurus: 23:25

Scorpio: 33:20

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY, PISCES!!!!

This month is absolutely full of planets planeting. There are retrogrades, eclipses, trines, sextiles, and anything else one might want (or not want) from the universe. 

The episode begins with a recap of Laura and Alex’s Valentine’s Day. The gals listened closely last month when Susan Miller warned that the day could be trouble, but they planned a festive night filled with Dolly Parton and a prix fixe menu anyway. And going with the planetary flow, as Susan suggested, paid off! 

Next Laura describes how she was “embezzled” last month (translation: Susan got something right). Susan accurately predicted that Taurus would take a short trip and meet interesting people, and Laura did just that! A true embezzlement success. Then it’s time to discuss Susan’s Note, which includes the recommendation of two books that appear to have nothing to do with astrology. Susan’s collaborations are often a mystery, but the gals have some theories.  

Then it’s time for the horoscopes. Laura and Alex let Pisces know about the many planets that have gathered for their birthday. With this crowd of heavenly bodies in their orbit, Pisces are simply too blessed to be stressed. Alex then tells the Scorps that they’ll need to wait a little longer before things really get going this year, and she introduces the listeners to Susan Miller Career Coach. Finally, Laura tells Taurus that they are the darlings of the cosmos (yet again!) and can expect lots of attention from VIPs and money, money, money. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Embezzlement Update: 5:27

Note from Susan Miller: 7:39

Pisces: 21:43

Scorpio: 34:43

Taurus: 50:09

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AQUARIUS!!!! 

We made it to February, a month with two new moons (sort of) and a challenging full moon. For better or worse, all the signs are in it together this month, and Susan Miller is here to advise on how to wrestle the full moon dragons to the ground. 

The gals kick off the episode with the Embezzlement Update. Were any of Susan’s predictions in January accurate? Fortunately for Laura, they were, and she shares all about her latest book, which has garnered the attention of VIPs. Then Laura and Alex implore Susan (yet again!) to produce some lowbrow merch, which they would love to buy, despite the fact that neither of them wants to pay the few extra dollars for Astrology Zone’s premium app. 

The episode continues with a discussion of the Note, which is surprisingly full of astrology. Also included this month is a transcript from Susan’s hectic life, which Laura and Alex perform as a dramatic reading. Through this vignette, we learn about Valerie, the never-before-mentioned assistant! (Call us, Val, if we can help with the merch. We have ideas!) 

Next the gals recap the horoscopes. Unfortunately, because the difficult full moon appears so close to Valentine’s Day, Susan recommends putting off all festivities and celebrating later in the month. More positively, Laura and Alex tell Aquarius about all the fun activities that the planets are doing in their honor. Finally, they fill Taurus and Scorpio in on what to expect this February. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Embezzlement Update: 01:45

Note from Susan Miller: 11:32

Aquarius: 24:55

Taurus: 35:36

Scorpio: 43:25

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

HAPPY CAPRICORN SEASON!!!! 

And Happy New Year! Laura and Alex are back for the fifth year of the podcast after dutifully following Susan Miller’s instructions in January 2021 to create a show. Little did Susan know that it would be all about her! 

The episode begins with the Embezzlement Update: Laura tells the listeners about her exciting embezzlement (translation: Susan correctly predicted something last month), which took the form of a visit to a volcano while she was home for the holidays. Next up is Susan’s Note and it’s a doozy. The gals share Susan’s explanation for posting the horoscopes late this month, which sadly includes both accident and illness. Fortunately Susan is still able to tell us about her upcoming appearances and where to buy her calendar, which leads Laura and Alex to hatch a plan that could circumvent shipping charges for all. 

Next the gals dive into January’s horoscopes. All of the signs will experience a slow start to the year due to Mars retrograde. Susan tells Capricorn to focus on themselves this month and to get some work done on a creative project, such as a podcast! Then Alex tells Scorpio that this month is all about career. Susan even issues a stern warning to them about when they must not go on vacation, lest they be distracted from career success. Finally, Laura informs Taurus about the absolutely glorious new moon that arrives at the end of January and provides a very important Cupid Weather Alert. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Embezzlement Update: 2:43

Note from Susan Miller: 11:28

Capricorn: 20:47

Scorpio: 29:05

Taurus: 36:15

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com

IT’S YOUR TIME TO SHINE, SAGITTARIUS!!!! 

Despite multiple planets retrograding this December, Sagittarius should have a wonderful birthday month. They can even expect some international travel! Or at the very least, some international FedEx shipments. 

This month, the gals have embezzlement updates to share, as well as a hot take from a commenter on social media. And there’s a lot of information in Susan’s Note to her readers, including her holiday plans, recent illnesses, and descriptions of many upcoming appearances. If any listeners in New York belong to Zero Bond, please invite us to Susan’s event! Or if anyone attended her most recent Discord AMA and learned what an astrological emergency is, the gals would appreciate that information, as well. 

Then Laura and Alex break down the December horoscopes, beginning with this month’s birthday sign, Sagittarius. Unfortunately, both Mercury and Mars are retrograding this month, so be prepared for things to move slowly. Venus will retrograde, too, so don’t even think about getting Botox until that’s over. Next Laura shares that Taurus may have the opportunity to travel this month or perhaps to participate in the import/export of ideas! And Alex tells Scorpio that VIPs will notice their work this month, which could result in a promotion or bonus. 

Finally, the gals want to thank everyone for listening this year! See you in 2025! 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 09:38

Embezzlement Update/Hot Take: 03:48

Sagittarius: 24:30

Taurus: 36:00

Scorpio: 42:45

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com