Astrology Zoned: A Susan Miller Fan Podcast

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AQUARIUS!!!!!

Unfortunately, Susan Miller doesn’t predict the fabulous forecast that Aquarians deserve for their birthday month. But Laura and Alex are here to show support and wish Aquarians all the best. Better times are ahead in March! 

This episode begins with a recap of the Note, which consists of not much more than descriptions of Astrology Zone’s many apps and how you can buy them. However, readers in Dallas should get themselves to the Coyote Ridge Golf Club for lunch with Susan, which may or may not include some delicious chicken salad. 

The gals then tell Aquarius, Taurus, and Scorpio what to expect from February. Overall, they’re not the most positive horoscopes Susan has ever written (to say the least), but as she reminds her readers many times this month, at least February is only 28 days long. 

And of course, Laura and Alex have to discuss Susan’s thoughts on Valentine’s Day 2023. In a shocking turn of events, Susan doesn’t have high hopes for the day itself, which could explain why she doesn’t give her usual heteronormative recommendations for how to celebrate. There are no rose petals this year; only SAD lamps. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 6:10

Aquarius: 12:01

Taurus: 21:57

Scorpio: 29:02

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

IT’S CAPRICORN SEASON!

And the start of a new year! And season 3 of this podcast! According to Susan Miller, January will be a great start to 2023. 

Laura and Alex kick off this episode by talking about their festive night on the town in December, an event that Susan Miller predicted in her final horoscopes of 2022. The gals then dissect the recent article about Susan in the New Yorker! It was only a matter of time before Susan, a quintessential New Yorker, was featured in the magazine, and you better believe that the article is filled with the Susan gems that we know and love. 

They then recap the Note, which includes the usual business woman content, a health update, and even some astrology. Next Laura and Alex give a recap of Capricorn’s forecast, which is full of predictions about increased income and money! Alex then fills Scorpio in on a positive, yet somewhat dull, forecast and Laura shares a more exciting horoscope for Taurus that includes secret VIPs watching over them!

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 10:47

Capricorn: 14:36

Scorpio: 19:34

Taurus: 25:59

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SAGITTARIUS! 

According to Susan Miller, Sagittarius has a lot of planets in a lot of places this month, potentially resulting in strong partnerships, gifts, and a new home. And guess who is revealed to be a Sagittarius?! Astrology Zone! It turns out that Susan Miller invented the astrological internet twenty-seven years ago in December. 

The gals begin the episode by discussing Susan’s note to her readers. Like most of 2022’s notes, Susan Miller Businesswoman is the star. Susan treats the note like a Spotify Wrapped for her business pursuits this year, and of course, she encourages her readers to support her many ventures. 

Laura and Alex then share everything that Sagitarrius can expect from December 2022, which ranges from a happy Christmas Day to water damage. Laura then tells her fellow Tauruses what December holds, but even more exciting is the reminder that 2023 is Taurus’s Emerald Year! Then Alex explains why she’s a Scorpio with a love deadline. Finally, the episode ends with the gals betting on when the Year Ahead 2023 will be released. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 03:25

Sagittarius: 10:35

Taurus: 18:16

Scorpio: 30:08

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

HAPPY SCORPIO SEASON!!!! 

And happy birthday to the wonderful Scorpios of the world! As always, Laura and Alex are here to preach justice for Scorpios, a group that has to deal with constant disrespect from the rest of the zodiac (or at least that’s how Alex, a Scorpio, sees it). 

We’re still in the midst of eclipse season and Susan Miller is here to terrify her readers. Laura and Alex share Astrology Zone’s strategies for dealing with the difficult November 8 eclipse in Taurus, which includes plenty of practical advice that isn’t necessarily related to astrology. They also recap Susan’s monthly note to her readers, which unsurprisingly includes descriptions of her many business ventures, and more surprisingly includes descriptions of the paper and ink that she likes to use for her calendars.  

Alex then tells us what Scorpio can expect this month and for the rest of the year (hint: it’s time to mix and mingle!), and Laura shares what November has in store for Taurus and how eclipse season has affected her ability to purchase tickets to see Taylor Swift. Finally, proving that you never know what the gals will talk about next, the episode ends with a warning about insider trading.

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 02:19

Scorpio: 10:22

Taurus:  20:33

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LIBRA!

Despite an approaching wild and wooly eclipse season, Susan Miller predicts a great birthday month for you, Libra! Get ready for money, travel, and supportive planets that gather around you like caring relatives, not unlike Peter Gallagher’s family waiting for him to awaken from his coma in the beloved romantic comedy While You Were Sleeping.

As always, Laura and Alex discuss Susan’s note to her readers and some hot takes from social media (justice for Pisces!). But before they dive into a discussion of Susan’s tiresome shilling of her products, the gals must review a new essay (and potential failed submission to Parenting magazine) that appeared on the Astrology Zone website recently.

The gals then talk about everything in store for Libra, Scorpio, and Taurus this October, and even meet Susan Miller Financial Planner! Not surprisingly, Laura and Alex have had quite enough of Susan pushing her business ventures and spend much of the episode wishing Susan had never learned about Web3.  

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Susan’s Latest Essay: 02:17

Note from Susan Miller: 08:41

Hot Takes: 12:25

Libra: 16:26

Scorpio: 23:50

Taurus: 32:31

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY, VIRGO!

There’s a lot to celebrate this month, Virgo! You should expect money, career success, and even fleets of Cupids! Susan Miller wants to know all about the dream in your heart so that you can get on the path to seeing it come true. Even Mercury retrograde isn’t going to get in the way of your cash infusion and booming career this September. 

As always, Laura and Alex cover Susan’s note to her readers (the Businesswoman is the star, even if the gals have no plans to purchase an NFT or join Discord) and everything that Taurus and Scorpio need to know this Virgo season. However, they begin this episode with a discussion of current events: the death of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. The gals give their thoughts on Charles, the fate of the corgis, and the Queen’s sun sign. And out of deference to the Queen, no hot takes are shared this month (too much snark for such a sad day). But don’t worry because hot takes were shared earlier in the day… when Laura was on the local news! 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 21:42

Virgo: 26:23

Taurus: 32:49

Scorpio: 39:52

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Laura interviewed about QEII on the local news!: https://www.cbsnews.com/newyork/news/looking-back-at-queen-elizabeths-3-new-york-city-visits/
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

IT’S LEO SEASON!

And there’s a lot of good stuff coming your way this August, Leo, not the least of which is the coveted import-export of ideas! Susan Miller has a lot to say about how you can use the new moon (aka your cosmic gift certificate) to your advantage and the bonanzas that await you. 

However, Laura and Alex have even more to say about the Note. This month Susan announces that she has launched a collection of NFTs! Although the gals are not particularly shocked by this development (they know all about Susan’s commitment to Web 3, and even suggested in a previous episode that she might explore NFTs). Of course, there is a lot for Laura and Alex to dissect (Izak! Babylonians! Scrap!). And they do. 

The episode continues with recaps of the August horoscopes for Scorpio and Taurus. Susan advises Scorpios to get things done early in the month because it’s all over when Mercury and Mars retrograde. And Laura’s forecast introduces us to Violetta, a woman from Susan’s youth who gave her advice that she feels compelled to share with us today. Although it is the time of year for the Leos of the world to shine, Violetta might just be the star of this episode. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 2:28

Hot Takes: 22:37

Leo: 26:14

Scorpio: 37:56

Taurus: 46:10

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CANCER!!!

Get ready to shine this July, Cancers! Susan Miller promises you an exciting month of VIP meetings, unexpected yet exciting news, and the luck of an Irishman! 

Laura and Alex kick off this episode with a discussion of Susan’s Note, a sprawling essay that covers a myriad of topics ranging from Susan’s new app to… Susan’s old app. Just kidding–we’re also graced by the presence of Susan Miller Tech Support, who tells us all about Astrology Zone’s foray into Discord. Susan suggests that we watch an introductory video on YouTube so we’ll be ready to join her–ever the internet pioneer–as she explores the exciting world of Web 3.0. 

The gals then review their favorite hot takes from the world of social media, and finish up with the July horoscopes for Cancer, Taurus, and Scorpio. They don’t have particularly wild forecasts this month, but are both excited to learn that if Laura tries hard enough, she has the power to create diamonds that spew forth from her brain.  

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 2:08

Hot Takes: 14:30

Cancer: 18:36

Taurus: 25:26

Scorpio: 33:05

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

IT’S GEMINI SEASON!!!!!

A very happy birthday to all the Gemini twins of the world! Laura and Alex wish you only the best, even if Susan Miller could only write you a somewhat brief and neutral forecast. It’s possible she cut some corners this month, though, because… the horoscopes were posted on time!!! 

Not only were Laura and Alex filled with surprise that the forecasts were available on June 1, but they were also unfortunately filled with COVID. That’s right—Laura and Alex contracted COVID within a week of each other, so when Astrology Zone published the horoscopes on the first of the month, they were in no condition to read them, let alone record a podcast. But the gals are doing better and had just enough energy to (more or less) coherently discuss Susan’s Note, the long overdue Year Ahead 2022, Hot Takes (where they learn a lesson from icon Mariah Carey about believing in the impossible), and the horoscopes for Gemini, Scorpio, and Taurus.

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Announcement from Laura: 02:18

Note from Susan Miller: 06:22

Hot Takes: 10:10

Gemini: 11:55

Scorpio: 19:23

Taurus: 29:58

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Read Laura’s new book THE BREAK UP ARTIST on Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/The-Break-Up-Artist-Audiobook/B09ZVQDG9V

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO TAURUS!!!!!

And to Laura!!!! Taurus season is upon us, as is eclipse season!  And Mercury retrograde! And there is a flower moon and a black moon! Needless to say, planets are doing things. 

This being eclipse season–complete with eclipses in both Taurus and Scorpio–Laura and Alex decide to read up on the subject. They start the episode by summarizing Susan Miller’s essay “How to Deal with Eclipses,” an unsurprisingly long treatise that details everything we need to know about this dramatic astrological occurrence. They continue with a discussion of Susan’s Note, which includes the reason that the horoscopes were posted late and updates on some of Susan’s forthcoming projects, including the Year Ahead 2022 (yes, this can still be described as “forthcoming”) and her new secret app. Laura then introduces a new segment to the podcast called “Hot Takes,” where the gals discuss commenters' reactions to Susan’s inscrutable and often perplexing social media posts. Finally, the gals break down the forecasts for Taurus and Scorpio, including all of the information on the aforementioned eclipses.

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

“How to Deal with Eclipses”: 01:22

Note from Susan Miller: 11:45

Hot Takes: 18:25

Taurus: 21:00

Scorpio: 33:18

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Read each episode’s transcript at our website: astrologyzoned.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com