Astrology Zoned: A Susan Miller Fan Podcast

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CANCER!   

Get ready for money! And friendship! And maybe even a surprise party! But please pretend to be surprised even though Susan just spoiled it for you. Cancer is going to have a wonderful birthday month full of travel; Susan even forgoes her usual Covid safety warnings to encourage you to get to some thickly forested mountains ASAP. 

In other exciting news, Venus and Mars meet up this month for their one rendezvous per year, and all of the signs will benefit from their canoodling. Laura and Alex discuss this exciting reunion, Susan’s party planning tips, and her social media posts from late June teasing a surprise for her readers. What could it be?! The gals had ideas, but of course, it turned out to be something they never would have guessed. And as always, Laura and Alex break down Susan’s forecasts for Taurus and Scorpio. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 08:35

Cancer: 14:23

Taurus: 20:14

Scorpio: 26:28

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Set your DVRS and find your cable channel guide so you can watch “Star Signs with Susan Miller” on Turner Classic Movies. As promised, this link takes you to a photo of heartthrob Steve McQueen (and more information): https://www.tcm.com/articles/Programming%20Article/021392/spotlight-star-signs-with-susan-miller 
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com
• Hear Laura talk about her television picks on TV BFFs at: https://audioboom.com/channels/5051822 

Luckily for us Astrologyzone.com includes many essays by Susan Miller that explain everything you wanted to know about astrology. Or at least Susan’s take on it. And what better time is there to talk about Mercury retrograde than during Mercury retrograde?! Well, as Laura and Alex learn, there might be a better time because Mercury can be a real scamp when retrograding, causing communication problems left and right. 

In this special episode, Laura and Alex break down Susan’s “Mercury Retrograde and What It Means For You.” They learn everything from when it’s safe to get plastic surgery to what it means to be born under Mercury retrograde to whether this time really deserves its bad reputation. All that plus more of Susan’s practical advice than you knew you needed. 

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

ATTENTION GEMINIS!   

This episode is all about you! According to Susan, the double-bodied Gemini brings the possibility for twice the opportunities! Geminis certainly are a lucky group, which is why the gals are so excited that baby Lilibet Diana Mountbatten-Windsor has entered the world under such an auspicious sign! 

The episode starts with a discussion of Susan’s posting habits and note to her readers, where she details her grief over her ex-husband’s death. And in true businesswoman fashion, she still gets in a few plugs for her many endeavors. The gals learn some new facts about astrology, including one that will be of interest to anyone who has been married more than once (just like Elizabeth Taylor!) and report on Susan’s practical advice for June. Finally, Alex is happy to report that Cupid’s little fleet of angels is back in full effect for Scorpio, and Laura informs her Taurus friends that they might have to deal with some change.   

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Note from Susan Miller: 02:30

Practical advice from Susan Miller: 10:30

Gemini: 13:06

Scorpio: 26:10

Taurus: 32: 50

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

Happy birthday to Taurus! And to our lovely co-host Laura!    

Will May be better, as Susan Miller predicted last month? It’s looking good based on the forecasts for Taurus and Scopio, but unfortunately not everyone made it through April’s monster moon without incident. Laura and Alex discuss Susan’s sad note to her readers, a tribute to her ex-husband who died at the end of April. Then Laura recaps Susan’s May forecast for Taurus, which she believes is a call for her to have a hot girl summer, and Alex recaps Scorpio, in which Susan instructs her to let go of her skepticism and embrace love. The gals end the episode by sharing their many takeaways from this month’s forecasts, although perhaps none more important than the realization that it’s simply impossible to discuss Uranus without giggling. 

Laura and Alex discuss the following at these timestamps: 

Monster moon recap: 2:43

Note from Susan Miller: 10:15

Taurus: 16:20

Scorpio: 32:12

Practical advice from Susan Miller: 44:36

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us (and let us know about your experience with the monster moon!) by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

Get excited for Aries season! And make sure to live your life in the first part of this month because when the monster moon comes on April 26, who knows what will happen! Susan Miller herself can’t even tell us what to expect.  

In this episode, Laura and Alex continue to be confused about Susan’s posting habits (she was on time again and it wasn’t even an April Fools’ Day prank) and work through their fears about the ominous monster moon in Scorpio that will bring unexpected and unwelcome obstacles and changes to all of the signs. They discuss Susan’s note to her readers, geezers versus geysers, Scorpio hate, and of course, all of Susan’s practical advice for getting through the monster moon and the pandemic. 

Horoscope highlights for each sign can be found at the following timestamps: 

Aries: 6:46

Taurus: 11:30

Gemini: 15:44

Cancer: 17:41

Leo: 19:29

Virgo: 21:36

Libra: 22:35

Scorpio: 23:32

Sagittarius: 29:19

Capricorn: 30:52

Aquarius: 33:16

Pisces: 35:12

Practical advice from Susan Miller: 36:25

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us (and let us know about your experience with the monster moon!) by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Order “If You Really Love Me, Throw Me off the Mountain,” by Erin Clark, a strong and powerful Aries woman: https://www.erinclarkwriter.com
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

TRANSCRIPT: 

Laura: Hello, everybody! Welcome to April 2021. We made it this far! Yay!

Alex: Hi everyone. Hi Laura!

Laura: Oh, hi Alex!

Alex: How are you doing?

Laura: I think I'm okay but then I read our horoscopes and now I have some concerns for something, but you know, I think we'll get through. We’ll talk about why we're scared, but also I feel like we've lived through so much already that maybe I shouldn't be so scared, but I don't know, I got nervous.

Alex: The fact that we have lived through so much and we're scared though maybe says something.

Laura: Maybe it says something. Yeah, yeah. Well let's get into, as usual, when Susan Miller released the horoscopes for April. Again, another surprise. Another surprise, she released them on April 1. Wow. And I think, you know, last month in March we were so shocked because she released them a day early and that was really out of character and now it was just on time. So you and I agree that that while we don't like it and we're perturbed by her promptness—

Alex: Extremely

Laura: Extremely—we are just going to now keep track of like this streak and see how long it goes and also if we ever get an answer about why it's after 25 years she's suddenly become prompt with her horoscopes. It's a mystery.

Alex: Right, so it's like a challenge. Susan, can you keep this up? But also why?

Laura: Also why? Yeah we don't know why is it happening.

Alex: Why are you doing this to us?

Laura: Yeah why you're doing this, what’s changed about your process, what's going on.

But she released them on time. It was April 1. I had just gotten my second dose of the vaccine and I was really out of it so it took me a few days to read. But now we have and I think we should start off with the note from Susan Miller.

Alex: Yes, so she starts off the note by saying: April will be a good, cheerful, and productive month until we get to the monster full moon in Scorpio on April 26. I know. And then she wrote: I know I am writing this on April 1, April Fool's Day, and I wish I were pranking you. This full moon will be no joke.

Laura: Oh no, but see I got scared.

Alex: It’s incredibly ominous but also I was wondering if she like crafted this and she was like, Oh, this is good, I gotta post on April 1 so that I can put this little gem in, and that was part of her motivation.

Laura: It might be, it might be I mean, I mean, it is a good joke, you know, a good line, but because also for a second I did think like, is this an April Fool's joke when they posted. No, it was all there so I don’t know. So right, so she warned us about a monster moon and Alex, what is a monster moon?

Alex: I was very intrigued by this idea of the monster moon, because, you know, great alliteration and you know it sounds exciting and creepy. I tried to look into what a monster moon is and by that I mean I googled, and I have no answers.

Laura: Okay, so it's not, it's not like when there's like a harvest moon or strawberry now. Okay, so it might just be her term for like a large and impactful moon full moon event.

Alex: I think it might be that, as well, but she doesn't explain it.

Laura: Okay, well because then she also said her note that the last time there was a monster moon was October 31, 2020. And so she wants us to tell her what happens for us this time, like, let her know.

Alex: She did. That was a big part of note. She did all of the ways that you can communicate with her, so please let her know what happens to you.

Laura: Oh, great. Okay, so I think we should tell her. I think we should email her from the podcast and be like, this is what happened for us. That would be a good way to keep the contact going with Susan Miller. Okay, so then the other part of her note we always get, you know, a Susan Miller businesswoman update and Susan Miller wrote the foreword for an art book called Astrology that she talked with a beautiful prints in it and then my favorite part is that she said that they asked for two paragraphs, but she gave them 1800 words and they didn't want to change a thing. And I was like that's so Susan Miller, like you just want to know what's up and she's like, let me explain it all to you. So, and then also she included a little bit about this book in everyone's horoscope so that no one would miss it, which I found interesting because in March, she had this big announcement and it turned out to be that she was being sponsored by, not even being sponsored by, but she had some sort of collaboration with a CBD fizzy water, and we were very confused about it, and it just appeared in the note briefly, and also days after she'd already announced the horoscopes and, and she didn't put that in everyone's note, but she did put this art book in everyone's horoscope, so unclear what the situation is, but she seems very hyped about this book and wanted to make sure everyone knew that they could get it for only 40 US dollars.

Alex: Yes, and she provided a link so that you can buy it.

Laura: So I'm wondering if she's got any sort of financial arrangement because she kind of did more for the book than she did for the fizzy water. As the month went on, I had a lot more feelings about the fizzy water and now influencing works and how effective marketing works and I gotta say I wasn’t really sure that Susan had done it. But um, you know, hey, it was her first influencing deal that we know about. Like it is in the modern influencing kind of way. She’s done a lot of different like collaborations and sponsorship things.

Alex: And maybe her end game was just some free CBD fizzy water and she got it.

Laura: Yeah, definitely. I mean, though. Bless.

Alex: Yeah. Right, exactly.

Laura: But yeah so we're still unclear on why horoscopes early. Is it a result of the fizzy water? I don't know, I don't know, and will we ever find out? Alright, so that was the note from Susan Miller. Should we get into the horoscopes?

Alex: Let's get into the horoscopes so Aries, Happy birthday to Aries.

Laura: Happy Birthday Aries. Well before we get into it, can we say happy birthday to a few Aries that we know personally, okay because you know they're going to listen. So happy birthday to Liz Wexler! Happy Birthday Liz. And happy birthday to a very powerful Aries woman, Erin Clark, good friend of mine, and Erin has written a memoir, it is called “If You Really Love Me Throw Me off the Mountain.” If you like travel adventure, romance, intimacy, paragliding, Spain, you will definitely enjoy this book, and for her birthday I think that you should buy it and leave her a review. I'll put a link in our show notes but you can find it if you just look for “If You Really Love Me Throw Me off the Mountain,” which is just the most Aries title ever.

Alex: Oh, big time Aries energy.

Laura: And the publisher of Erin’s book designed the cover because Erin has like Aries in Mars, so that's what the cover of the book has red on it.

Alex: Well done.

Laura: Very cool.

Alex: Well, it sounds like there's something for everyone.

Laura: Definitely. Okay, so in general for Aries horoscopes, what do we have?

Alex: Well, she started the forecast by saying that the big emphasis that Aries had on career in the past few years is kind of winding down. And the last full moon in March was really great. There was a golden triangle. You know I just like to repeat these things that Susan says, I don't really know what they are. And that accented your partnerships and your commitments. So, you know, getting into the romance early. Maybe you met someone, maybe you already have someone until you're getting married, something like that. She does say on April 6, some things are going to happen with planets, and you're going to have the opportunity for love, allure, charm and beauty. So she recommends going on a first date, seeing your stylist, or going shopping. Laura: Wow, okay.

Alex: She says this is a day for fun pickup flowers to place on your coffee table on the way home.

Laura: Lovely.

Alex: What Aries doesn't want to do that, you know? She says, on April 11, Mars is going to be in your short trip travel house, so you may find that you're needing to take a trip without a lot of notice, and it may be there’s another planet that has to do with like close relatives and so it likely might be like you need to visit a sibling out of nowhere or cousin or something like that. This was a trend in a lot of the horoscopes, which we will talk about, April 15 and 16 appear to be wonderful days for everyone, no exception for the Aries. And then she did say April 16 and 17 are great days to sign papers, give a speech, or hand in a manuscript because Jupiter and Mars are going to meet and that doesn't happen very often.

Laura: Oh, okay.

Alex: I mean, here's the thing, it was very, it was very good and again this is going to be a trend throughout this whole show, which is like things are really great until this monster moon comes, and then with the monster moon comes unexpected things that are not good. And there are things that you never could guess. I think for Aries in particular the monster moon is not going to be so good in terms of financial aspects. So that's really not great. Yeah, it just kind of goes downhill from there. I don't want to be too much of a bummer.

Laura: Yeah, no I everyone everyone's monster moon had a lot of doom forewarning.

Alex: A lot of doom, so much so that she even wrote in Aries one that May will be better.

Laura: Oh, yeah, she said that I think for Taurus and other people as well. So, I guess all we can tell people is that, be careful. Well, in our practical advice wrap up at the end we'll, we'll give you some more of this but just keep your schedule light and be careful around the monster moon.

Alex: Yeah. Exactly. Keep your schedule light. Be productive in the first part of the month, get your things done, but also get your rest because you're going to need it to deal with the monster moon.

Laura: Okay. Well, you know, happy birthday Aries. It sounds like the first part it's great then we're going to hit a bump. May will be better.

Alex: May will be better. Hang in there.

Laura: Yeah, hang in there. Okay so Taurus here is some bits about your horoscope for April 2021. I am a Taurus so you're going to get a little bit more on this. So one thing that Susan said was that something you completed around March 28 made you proud, and I was like, oh, Erin Clark, the Aries we just mentioned, she and I finished a draft, finished the revisions on our manuscript for our romantic comedy for Audible and we like turned that in right around the full moon so I was like, I am proud Susan, thank you. That was exciting and then for Taurus she goes on that in your career you are golden and it seems you can do no wrong. This year you have Jupiter the giver of gifts and luck shining at the top of your chart in Aquarius, your 10th house of prestigious career leadership and advancement. Jupiter will see you get an array of offers. Be choosy and pick the ones that provides you with the biggest gain and also gives your soul the most satisfaction. So that, that felt nice you know, I was like okay I'm ready, I'm ready for it. And then she went into the full moon and this is when I just kind of disassociated and went into like

Alex: Survival mode.

Laura: Yeah, survival mode. I just kind of powered down. I got scared and anxious and I disassociated. But what she says about the monster moon is that the full moon will the full moon is in Scorpio and Alex you're a Scorpio.

Alex: I know and I'm kind of like does this really crappy full moon really need to be in Scorpio to just add to the Scorpio hate already in the world, and of course it does because just pile on to the Scorpios but

Laura: I literally said out loud when I was reading about this full moon I said I reject it. I can’t handle what it wants to bring. She said it will be emotional and troublesome bringing news and events you never would have expected, and she was talking about the week of April 26 and like keeping your schedule light because you might have things unexpected and you have to change plans. It could be something that will draw attention to your partner, a person close to you, so just your spouse or business partner or a collaborator. You might have to drop whatever you are doing near April 26 and attend to the matter that bursts forth like a geyser out of the ground. And I was like I reject this because I'm almost fully vaccinated and my family's getting their last vaccines, we’re going to be fully vaccinated by the end of April, and I'm finally going to be able to go home and see my family after not seeing them for over a year, and I was like I can't I won't be changing, I won't be dropping everything, I will just be going to see my family. So she did say that like, there would be like friends to support so like, there'll be help at this new moon for Taurus so that and it will light your house of communication, travel, and close kin, so you might need to be in contact with a sibling or a cousin who will have an idea that will help, and you might be confronted with news that needs a quick solution. So that made me feel better that it was just gonna be like surprise information that I’ll have to deal with and not like a complete derailing. And I was like, well if anything happens in New York while I'm gone I have friends and they have like keys to my apartment or something, you know. So then I felt a little bit better but in general I was like I don’t accept anything that might derail me seeing my family.

Alex: You shouldn’t accept it.

Laura: I won’t.

Alex: You'll deal with the geyser if needed.

Laura: Yeah, exactly. I also I got scared because you know I've had I've had things happen where she that like I was like, is the geyser literal or metaphorical? That also scares me.

Alex: Yeah, it does. And we know that Susan tends to zero in on when people are going to have water damage.

Laura: exactly so then I then that made me nervous, but anyway May is going to be better and May is Taurus month and my birthday, so in our next podcast, I'm sure I'll have better news. But if my fellow Tauruses want to join me in rejecting whatever drama the full moon brings on.

Alex: Yeah, fellow Tauruses, be inspired by Laura. She’s not going to let that geyser get in her way!

Laura: No, I’m not. I'll just make a raincoat.

Alex: Exactly. Just be prepared for the geyser.

Laura: That's right. So, that's what we have for Taurus.

Alex: Great alright, well Gemini, this is your April 2021 horoscope summary. You are about to enter the most important months of the year for advancing your career. Get ready for your close up, dear Gemini, because you will be in demand. That's how it begins. So, you know, I think that's great. In terms of romance, she said that Geminis likely met someone at the end of March. And I don't know she didn’t really say anything about that, she just said maybe it happened. And then if you at the end of March, you are with someone, maybe you became engaged. She also says April 15 and 16, extremely good, best days of the month, they are calling out your name. And then it shifts into April 26 monster moon again and she is very quick to tell you to rest up for the monster moon. You know, be in good shape because we don't really know what's going to happen that's the whole point. Unexpected things that you don't want. She said the full moon will receive a challenge from unpredictable Uranus, making this time of year near April 26 quite unstable. This I thought was kind of funny. She said, you seem to be working hard at the office or lab.

Laura: Oh, what are you making Gemini?

Alex: I don't know, but I just thought that was very interesting. And you're, you're racing to finish up something in the lab and so you might be exhausted. So start that project in the lab early, so that when the monster moon hits you know it won't be completely terrible.

Laura: No, that sounds good, good advice. Thank you.

Alex: So, yeah, Gemini, it's about the same for you. Great things and then not so great things.

Laura: Well, Cancer, this is your horoscope highlight for April 2021. Susan wanted to let you know that a big moment will arrive at the Aries and new moon of April 11 and the days of April 12 through the 16 will be vital to your professional progress for this will be one of your best moments to show your company, your industry, and the world that you are made of all of the right stuff. Not only will you make a bigger name for yourself that week, you'll stand a chance of making a good amount of money too, especially if you are in sales or work on a performance basis like commission or royalty. And she's been talking about Cancers getting buckets of money for a few months now so I just put this put this information in that same bucket. Cancer, congratulations, more buckets of money. Good luck.

Alex: Yeah, find somewhere to store all those buckets because they are not going to stop coming.

Laura: Maybe the geezer like Taurus, it said the Tauruses were going to have geezers, like, the new moon, the full moon will have like a geezer out of the ground and maybe Cancers are just gonna have like geezers full of money. Is it called “geezer” or “geyser”? What did I just say?

Alex: Geyser.

Laura: They’re going to have old...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, PISCES! It’s your time to shine. 

In a shocking turn of events, Susan Miller posted her March horoscopes early! And to confuse matters even more, she included a cryptic note to her readers instructing them to return to her website on March 2 for ‘exciting news’  Laura and Alex start this episode by trying to make sense of the unexpectedly early horoscopes and the strange “Note from Susan Miller,” and then talk through the feelings of confusion and betrayal that resulted from her underwhelming announcement. 

Laura and Alex then give summaries of all the signs’ forecasts, which can be found at the following timestamps: 

Pisces: 25:21

Aries: 26:43

Taurus: 27:44

Gemini: 32:12

Cancer: 34:10

Leo: 35:07

Virgo: 34:43

Libra: 38:36

Scorpio: 39:27

Sagittarius: 46:19

Capricorn: 48:56

Aquarius: 50:17

Practical advice from Susan Miller: 53:08

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Order a sample of Dolly Parton’s new perfume: https://scentbeauty.com/products/dolly-eau-de-parfum-3ml
• Watch Lucy and Ethel at the chocolate factory (a must-see for Capricorns this month): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkQ58I53mjk 
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts, The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great, at: http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

TRANSCRIPT: 

Laura: Hello, friends, listeners of the podcast. Welcome to our March episode. Me, Laura von Holt here with

Alex: I'm Alex Gershuny. Welcome. Thank you for listening.

Laura: Yeah, we have a lot to cover. Some big developments have happened in the world of Susan Miller, and to sum it all up before we start, I'll just say that it is Pisces season, and I think that we are underwater.

Alex: I think that's the perfect way to put it. You know, I, I thought we'd have kind of a calm month, to be perfectly honest, I thought, you know, well, you know we had an exciting February, we did the special romance episode and I was like okay well March is going to be, you know, standard going through horoscopes. I was very wrong. Susan did not disappoint. That may not be the right word, but we’ll explain.

Laura: Yeah. So I think let's just get into what threw us for the loop. You know now that we have a podcast, Alex and I the week before, or the last week of the month, we were like, when do we think she’ll post her horoscope when we record the podcast and we were like well February's a short month, so let's assume that she'll post into March on like the third or fourth of March because like February's a short month and she usually needs more time, but we were noticing that she was posting a lot when the Mars Rover was landing. And then she was radio silence and then on February 28 we see a social media post that says horoscopes are going up within the hour and I was, I was doing something so I didn't see it until then like three or four or five hours. And one of my friends texts me is like, it's, it's up and I'm like why do you mean it's up? It's February 28. March horoscopes are up?

Alex: Shocking.

Laura: Shocking. I mean, I mean, we were panic texting each other, and we were worried.

Alex: We were really worried.

Laura: We were worried. We were truly worried. I was trying to remember if there's ever been a time in the 14 or 15 years that I've read Susan Miller where she posted early. Sometimes she has been able to do it on the first of the month like late at night, but I cannot remember a time when she was early. So, I mean it is very funny that for Susan Miller to be earlier on time gives us cause for concern

Alex: But it's like the constant late posting, even though it's late, it's still consistent.

Laura: Yes, exactly.

Alex: I've grown to rely on that.

Laura: Exactly.

Alex: There was no, you know, for the past few months, she's been doing like at least a few tweets, social media posts, like I'm working on it. Writing Scorpio. Editors are standing by. We got none of that. One post, it's up, tell your friends.

Laura: Yeah. So you and I panicked, and then we were like, is there an explanation for why it's early? Like, are eyes so much better? Is Courtney helping her? Like, why is she now 25 years into her career on time? And so we ran to the Note from Susan Miller where the mystery only deepened. So Alex, what did that note say? Was there an explanation for why she was early?

Alex: I'm gonna say “explanation” is not the right word, but she did give us something. “Dear reader, I have exciting news to share with you that I think you will want to investigate, but I can't tell you until Tuesday, March 2. I wish I could tell you today. Please come back to read my Note from Susan Miller on March 2 to hear all about it.” And then she goes on to say how she will remind us with push notifications, etc. I mean but keep in mind this is this is February 28.

Laura: Then she says, March 2 she will have, so we don't have any more information on why she was early. And then, and then she'll come back March 2 to the Note from Susan Miller, which I don't mean to be rude, but I don't know that I ever started reading the Note from Susan Miller until we had the podcast so I don't know if anybody else saw that warning, but you and I thought it was cause for more alarm.

Alex: Much more alarm. Like the whole Susan Miller system, I was reeling. I felt like her whole system had broken down, because I was like we didn't get these like teaser posts on social media and then you astutely pointed out that what she was doing with the Note with kind of the same game of what she would do before.

Laura: It’s not now it's not now when you expect it it's not now, but definitely standing by, but she had a concrete of Tuesday, March 2. And one of my other friends pointed out that like time has no money to her so like, why are you so worried about March 2 versus the 28th, and I was like I don't know but it's just it's erratic and I don't like it.

Alex: Yeah, I didn't like it at all. I thought my entire world had been

Laura: Yeah, because we have said like the only comfort we have in the pandemic is that she's always late.

Alex: Right. Right. Don't deliver your product on time, Susan. It’s really detrimental to our health.

Laura: Really, and then she said it was something that you will want to investigate. So then, then you and I were like okay what are, let's just get let's make our guesses now and then we will confirm on March 2. So when’s she like, you will want to investigate, I was like it's not a personal update then, it's got to be Susan Miller business woman has something yeah tell us. Alex: Yeah, right. We knew we ruled out pretty fast that it was personal and it was not astrological. It was not like, I'm going to come back on March 2 and I'm going to tell you this great thing about the universe. We knew that was not it, so we had a few ideas.

Laura: Yes, what were our predictions?

Alex: We thought perhaps it was some kind of media opportunity so maybe Susan was getting a new TV show. It occurred to you, rightfully so, it could be a podcast.

Laura: Yes, because she tells everyone in like every horoscope that you might be starting a blog or a podcast, so I was like it's, it's that and that's why she hasn't responded to our podcast, because she’s starting her own. And then, then, it was like oh is that is that concerning, and then I was like no because I was thinking as Laura von Holt the businesswoman lessons I've learned from Susan Miller the business woman, are that if I was someone was searching for a podcast by her they would they would find ours, it would pop up so I just was like, it will be okay.

Alex: Right, right.

Laure: But then also, we would just pivot into like critiquing her podcast.

Alex: Which would have been more content for us. Yeah, we're pretty sure it was a media opportunity and then we thought, okay, well, the fact that she put that clear date in there come back on March 2, we thought maybe it was some kind of like business change or business opportunity like she was partnering with someone or there was like some merger, something that there was a contract and so she said I can't talk about this until March 2.

Laura: Yeah I was thinking of like when people get TV shows and then they want to announce it on their Instagram but they have to wait like Busy Philipps will be like I want to tell you about my TV show and then like the studio was like no no no Busy, you have to wait till Deadline announces it first, so we're like, oh, Susan's waiting for Deadline.com to announce it.

Alex: Exactly. Yeah, I did think also, even though this would be horrifying, maybe she was like putting up some kind of paywall, like putting certain content behind the wall. And then we had one more guess, which was that it was something to do with NASA, because she has been so invested in the whole thing with the Mars Rover, plus we learned in the last, I think it was the last horoscope, that she’s got a direct line to NASA so we were like, oh my god possible merger or contract with NASA.

Laura: Yes. She was very into the Mars rover thing and in fact she was then I was looking at the Mars Rover thing I realized that like JPL was very involved in that one, and JPL is the one that she said she had a direct line to. So I was like, NASA could be a huge possibility. NASA’s expanding from Mars Rovers into astrology, and Susan’s gonna be like a leading like whatever the task force is when like Mars is conjunct Jupiter or something and I was like that’s absolutely gonna happen.

Alex: So I think we gave three great, great guesses, but we were not right.

Laura: We were not right. So then, let's fast forward to March 2. At midnight on March 2 I have a friend in Texas who texted me, it's, it's midnight on March 2, East Coast time, is it up yet and I was like, it is not up yet and thank you for caring. Thank you for listening to the podcast and thank you for caring.

Alex: Yeah, thank you.

Laura: Um, and then so you know night owl like Susan Miller, I wake up in the morning at a later hour than other people to a lot of text messages because it was in fact up. And it was not the announcement that anyone expected and so I got a lot of just text message that just had question marks in them. So then I read it and immediately panic texted you. What did it say, Alex?

Alex: I'm going to innocently pick up my phone. First of all I agree and despite the fact that she published the March forecasts on February 28, I did not think she was going to be posting her announcement on March 2 early in the day. It will be like six o'clock.

Laura: Yes, we have time.

Alex: Yeah, well, Susan, got a very exciting opportunity to… it seems like what they have paid her for is to write a somewhat long essay about the pandemic, the Age of Aquarius, and CBD sparkling water.

Laura: Yes okay but so wait so but back it up because the first few paragraphs are like it's been so stressful with the pandemic and I'm like okay she's really talking about the pandemic, as she does because you know Susan Miller is one of my favorite epidemiologists so I was like okay okay pandemics stress stress stress, and I was like she's going to make a major prediction or something where we get to. And then she's like, and so I have partnered with the CBD fizzy water and then launches into a description of how there's going to be a manuscript that's published on their website about the company, about, and then all of the fizzy water and then how she has… So so first of all, I'm just reeling because I'm like, wait, this whole thing was about CBD fizzy water, how does that relate to astrology? Then she's like there are four flavors and I've assigned them to the elements, so air signs, one flavor, earth signs, another flavor water signs, etc. Okay. And then she talks about how she likes to have one when she's stressed out. Right so it's the whole thing is already just bizarre, it’s nothing like we we anticipated or that made sense, like if she said like, I'm partnering with Goop and now we are going to have like vibrators based on your astrological sign, I would have been like, okay, okay, or like, like or if she's like I'm now writing a book about astrology that felt like it was completely out of left field, and the fact that it was a CBD fizzy water it made me think about when I get on Instagram some DM from like a random jewelry company that's like, we want to collab and, like, that means they want me to like wear a necklace or something, and then I get a gift card. Yeah, so I was like how, what does this deal, how did this come about? And then she said oh Courtney had alerted her to it. Courtney her assistant.

Alex: Yes.

Laura: Yeah, so it was nothing at all like what you would expect and also seemed like very odd that a CBD fizzy water didn't really fit with her brand but then she was like loosely connecting it to astrology, then, then I went to the website, and there was nothing about her on it because I made it sound like she was a big partner. There's nothing about Susan on the website. And then I see that like Martha Stewart through another line of the company has her own line of like CBD stuff which makes sense for Martha Stewart because she and Snoop Dogg have a show. But it's not Susan Miller branded it's like so literally see it seems like they paid her to kind of talk about it but also she just like did it in this in there like Note to Susan Miller blog post, which again we don't really know if anybody reads. And she doesn't start it off in like here's my announcement, she starts it off like a concerned note about the pandemic.

Alex: Right. And I expect Susan to be over the top, and like, bring the drama. But she laid it on so thick in the beginning of that note where she’s like, the pandemic has been so hard, I talk to the people who translate my horoscopes in Asia, etc., and we’re all having this terrible experience but we’re stronger for it because we’ve come together and life is so hard in pandemic time, and then it’s like, buy CBD water.

Laura: Which, the CBD water is only available in the US.

Alex: Exactly. So it’s not helping the people that are translating.

Laura: So then, so it's not even like a very good influencer deal where she's like branded it’s just like she wrote this loose kind of blog posts about it on her website. There's no social media posts about it. She did make an Instagram story that was like my news is up, check out the note but like there's no branded posts on Instagram. It's not a very good influencing job is just what I'm going to say there. And then, and then this is the part Alex so first of all I'm like, what the heck is this, why is this, none of this makes sense. And then she's listing the stressors that like have led her to indulge in the CBD and this is where I think, I think I broke. I broke. It was like, sometimes, like, oh no my assistant Courtney is going out of town. Oh, stress on me. Oh no, like my web, which we know her web team we have so many questions, is like, there's been a potential hack, no wonder I don't sleep at night. And then what was the third one, it was like it was something about oh there was like a customer service issue with her wall calendar. And those are the things where she's like, led to drink CBD water and then feels relaxed. And I was like, Susan, you started off with the pandemic like we are in a situation of global mass death like we are beyond, we are beyond CBD water, like that's not that's not really going to help. You start out and then it was also you start off with so much concern and then offer me, I mean it really did feel like it was in line with the past year of the pandemic where people, like there's no, there's no water in Mississippi right now. And she’s like, have some CBD water and I was like this is not, read the room. Like your horoscopes are comforting but this this influencing, it was just inelegantly done and also bizarre. And then I kind of felt like that I felt bad because I was like, did I expect too much from her, because usually we’re like everything is things she does that's like a little kooky we're like it's part of the charm it's part of the charm, you're like, but this was like not charming, and I wasn't charmed and I felt like a little disappointed and maybe a little bit betrayed because it was just so it was so poorly executed, as well as just being lame, I guess.

Alex: It’s lame. I think I texted you I felt swindled, which maybe is an overreaction on my part, but there was so much build up and then we went we went back to our guesses and we were like, okay, well we were giving her way too much credit,

Laura: We were making like informed business decisions. So Yeah, okay, yeah so we were giving her like a ton of credit, about what this business decision would be, and then we got some CBD fizzy water, and I did have a thought that there was like kind of like mercury retrograde was written all over this deal, that like she couldn't announce it till way till we were way the clear I guess or something but also that it was just so like weirdly done that it, I don't know, it had like the best, the most like benefit of the doubt I could give her is that like there was some astrological confusion amongst the execution. But also on behalf of the water company, I'm like, why and again back to the timing of this, if I were wanting to give a sponsorship to Susan Miller, my inclination would be like, like let's wait, let's not announce it until a few days into March because we know you're always late with your horoscopes, and then with your horoscopes let’s announce this this thing, when people are going to your site to look for it, but instead she posts the horoscopes early, which none of her audience is conditioned to expect. Then she says in this one little Note, which isn't what everyone reads because they go to their,  their own horoscope first, we don't know that they already. I mean she might have web analytics that tell us that people read this Note to Susan Miller, but assuming they go to their own horoscope they don't read her note, she tells you in the note come back March 2, then on March 2 she posts this kind of inelegant blog post. When you go to the website of the things she's talking there's no mention of her. In fact, it wasn't until today that we saw her blog posts that she'd written for them.

Alex: And that was only because I searched her name in their search box. There’s nothing on the landing page.

Laura: So as the professional that works for the sponsor, none of the timing makes sense for them either. Like Susan, we know like has her own sense of time, fine, but as a sponsor there wasn't anything, like I would have been like when you announce your horoscopes on March 2 third or fourth we don't mind when then, like, announce the water...

Happy Valentine’s Day! And Happy Galentine’s Day! In this romance roundup, Laura and Alex discuss all things related to love in the time of a pandemic. They share their views on the capitalist trappings of a traditional Valentine’s Day, the importance of Galentine’s Day, and the need for singles to take the wheel. They then give a recap of the romance predictions of Astrology Zone’s February 2021 horoscopes to let you know what’s in store for you on February 14th. Laura and Alex even give some suggestions to help you celebrate the day, whether single or in a relationship, to supplement Susan Miller’s rather conventional idea of a Valentine’s Day date. 

Laura’s and Alex’s romance roundup for each sign can be found at the following timestamps: 

Aquarius: 06:35

Pisces: 09:17

Aries: 11:43

Taurus: 12:38

Gemini:15:06

Cancer: 16:10

Leo: 17:00

Virgo:19:50

Libra: 20:51

Scorpio: 23:10

Sagittarius: 25:20

Capricorn: 29:49

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great at http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

February 2021 is ALL ABOUT AQUARIUS! Laura and Alex begin the show by checking in with each other to see what, if anything, happened on January 28 (also known as the luckiest day of the year), and marvel at Susan posting this month’s horoscopes in such a timely fashion. They then review this month’s “A Note from Susan Miller,” where Susan discusses everything from the powerful stellium in Aquarius to her upcoming TV appearance. 

This month, instead of recapping only Taurus and Scorpio, Laura and Alex divide and conquer all twelve signs to let you know what’s in store for you in February. This month’s forecasts are full of information on the new moon, Mercury retrograde, and COVID safety. And listen carefully to find out if your sign can expect to receive a bucket full of money later this month (spoiler: a lot of them can!). The show ends with a discussion of what Laura and Alex learned about Susan Miller’s personal life through this month’s horoscopes and Susan’s #1 tip for coping with Mercury retrograde.

Laura’s and Alex’s thoughts on each sign’s forecast can be found at the following timestamps: 

Aquarius: 13:40

Pisces: 18:29

Aries: 22:32

Taurus: 24:29

Gemini: 30:47

Cancer: 34:30

Leo: 38:37

Virgo: 40:45

Libra: 43:24

Scorpio: 46:14

Sagittarius: 49:52

Capricorn: 53:53

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected].

Links:

• Jet Propulsion Laboratory - Susan Miller’s NASA connection! https://www.jpl.nasa.gov/
• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• Listen to Laura’s other podcasts The Mermaid Podcast and You’re Doing Great at http://mermaidpodcast.com and http://fairybossmother.com

The new year kicks off with a surprise: Susan Miller posted earlier than expected! Alex and Laura parse the usual Susan Miller Experience, including the dramatic lead-up to Astrology Zone’s monthly posts, and whether or not there are secret messages embedded in Susan Miller’s social media updates on her horoscope writing process.

There is plenty to analyze in “A Note from Susan Miller” to her readers, where Susan tackles everything from the universe’s Grand Mutation to the ins and outs of her wall calendar shipments. A Taurus and Scorpio, respectively, Laura and Alex share the highlights of their January 2021 horoscopes and discuss the predictions and practical advice Susan has given them based on the movement of the planets (hint: Mercury will be retrograde later this month!). The show ends with a recap of what this month’s posts have taught us about Susan’s personal life and with Laura and Alex’s final thoughts on their horoscopes for the new year.

Links:

• Help Laura reach the full potential of her Susan Miller legacy (and support her planets moving into Aquarius in the 10th house) by buying her romance novels: http://Lauralovelybooks.com
• The January “Elsa” social media post that is maybe about megalomania, maybe about coming into your true power: https://twitter.com/astrologyzone/status/1345602290401636352
• Share your own Susan Miller thoughts with us by emailing [email protected]

Laura and Alex introduce Susan Miller and explain why they were inspired to create a fan podcast about her—and why they believe they have her blessing! They discuss Susan’s unique posting habits, her mission statement, and her mysterious social media. Laura also explains the many facets of Susan Miller (businesswoman! Oracle! And more!) and how this combination has created a voice that millions of readers, including the two gals on this podcast, trust to deliver insightful readings. On a personal note, Laura & Alex declare their mission to dispel the notion that Scorpios are universally terrible.

Share your own thoughts on Susan Miller’s Astrology Zone with us by emailing [email protected]