• Weird Science:
  • Pornhub announcing new videos to support "teledildonics"
    • Story: Using a Fleshlight
  • The Medical Benefits of Shrooms
    • Quiz: History of Psychedelic Research
• What the Flying Sh*t?:
  • KFC Launched a Chicken Sandwich Into Space
    • Discussion: Which fast-food item would you want aliens to judge us by?
  • XHamsterz Offers to Produce New Season of 'Sense 8'
    • Discussion: Which cancelled show needs to be revived by a porn site?
• Dumb Decisions:
  • Nuns Try Robbing a Bank and Fail
    • Mad Libs: Atlan, Noah and Mr. DP try robbing a bank.
• Cross-Faded:
  • Weed-Infused Seltzer Water Doesn't Get You High
    • Discussion: What food/drink would you most like to see weed-infused?
  • Netflix Sells Strains of Weed Based on Original Series
    • Discussion: What would your favorite show's weed strain be called?
• Let's Talk About Sex:
  • Broad City Has Announced A Sex Toy Line
    • Discussion: What's the next show to make their own sex toys?
  • Study Shows Millennials Don't Care As Much for Boobs
    • Celebrity Boobs vs. Butt

News

• $425 Fake Mud Nordstrom Jeans

Weird Science

• Facebook Developing Mind-Reading Technology
• Chinese Guy Builds and Marries Robot Wife

Dumb Decisions

• Guy in Court for Traffic Ticket Ends Up Behind Bars After Cocaine Falls Out of His Hat

Creature Feature

• Some Female Dragonflies Fake Death To Avoid Males

Say Whaaat?

• Woman Uses Boyfriend's Ballsack as Beauty Blender
• Comedians Get Sued After Tricking Morning Shows Into Thinking They're "Fitness Experts"

Cross-Faded

• Beer Made from Real Seafood

Sexy Story of the Week

• $15,000 Sex Robot to Be Unveiled Later this Year

Game: Porn Parody Palooza!

News

"Can't Sleep" Hotline Provides Very Untraditional White Noise

Weird Science

Gum in Development that Tests if You Have Cancer

Creature Feature

Scorpion Falls on Guy During United Airlines Flight

Little Girl Discovered in Forrest Living Among Monkeys

Dumb Decisions

Burger King Makes Commercial to Activate Google Home Devices, Immediately Gets Outwitted

Say Whaaat?

Attorney in Miami's Pants Literally Catch on Fire During Arson Case

8-Year-Old Boy Drives Himself and 4-Year-Old Sister to McDonald's

Cross-Faded

International Church of Cannabis Opening its Doors on 4/20

"Fake News Ale" Available in Canada Now

Sexy Story of the Week

Man Suing Grindr After 1100 Men Have Shown Up at His Home and Work Unannounced Expecting to Have Sex

"Slide into the DM's David Marino" Brings Us the Inside Scoop on All 4 E.T. Porn Parodies Ever Made

News

• McDonald's Teases Bring back Szechuan Sauce

Weird Science

• Wifi-Enabled Dildo with Endoscope Camera Can Be Easily Hacked
• Weed Based Anal Lubricant is the Newest and Sexiest Way to Get High

Creature Feature

• Man Found Inside 23-Foot Python, Yes He's Dead

Dumb Decisions

• Man Texts His Ex-Girlfriend the Same 3 Words Each Day
• NRA Employee Shoots Himself at Gun Safety Event

Say Whaaat?

• 80-Year-Old Woman Busted by TSA For Having a Sword in Her Cane
• Self-Proclaimed Witch Performs Exorcism at Scene of Car Crash That Killed 4 People

Sexy Story of the Week

• Japan's Oldest Porn Star Calls It Quits at 80

Game: Trick-or-Tweet

News

• Top 10 Sex Positions
• Raiders Themed Brothel Coming to Las Vegas
• Texas Legislator Introduces Anti-Masturbation Bill

Dumb Decisions

• Drunk Guy Shoves Two Live Fish Up His Anus
• Man Drives 9 Hours Just to Try the McPizza

Say Whaaat?

• Building in the UK Sports Giant Inflatable Breast on Roof
• Taxi Driver Finds Out Boyfriend Was Cheating On Her With Woman She Was Giving Ride To

Sexy Story of the Week

• Pornstars in Guadalajara Under Fire After filming Scene in a Cemetery
• NYPD Detective Gets Off Easy After Being Found Maturbating in Front of Underage Girls

Game: Sexy Showdown!

• March Madness Tournament: Elite Eight Pornstars

News

• Elementary School Mock Slave Auction
• Kitten Fur, Puppy Breath and Newborn Baby Perfumes

Weird Science

• Woman Underwent Surgery to Remove Mushrooms Growing Inside Her Stomach
• Park in China Using Facial Recognition Software to Prevent People from Stealing Toilet Paper

Creature Feature

• Salon in Germany Offering Massages By Wrapping Python Around Your Neck
• Wild Parrots in India Raiding Poppy Fields for Opium

Dumb Decisions

• Substitute Teacher Arrested for Showing Up to Classroom Drunk
• Guy Jumps Into Crocodile-Infested Lake to Impress Girlfriend

Sexy Story of the Week

• Mexican Matador Needs Rectum Reconstructive Surgery After Bull Shoves Entire Horn Up Anus

Twitter Hashtags: #ThingsIYellWhenICum

News

• Mr. Skin Annual Anatomy Awards

Weird Science

• Sex Robot Programmed With Latest in Artificial Intelligence
• Smart Condoms

Creature Feature

• Raccoon Obsessed With Breasts

Say Whaaat?

• Average Public Pool Contains 8 Gallons of Pee

Sexy Stories of the Week

• Guy Has Public Sex With Car and Motorcycle Seat Cushions
• Over 100 Federal Employees Caught Watching Porn at Work

Hard & Fast News 2

Guests: Joe Moyle & Libby Allnatt Play The Newlywed Game

News Stories

• High School Offers Special 'Black History Month Menu' with Fried Chicken, Apologizes
• Swedish City Councilor Proposes Paid Hour-Long Sex Breaks at Work
• Japanese Bald Men Play Tug-of-War With Their Heads

Weird Science

• Why BDSM Makes You Feel High

Dumb Decisions

• Guy Ruins Chance With Girl After Sending her Crude Text Meant For His Friend
• Boyfriend Claims His Dog Shot His Girlfriend in the Leg

Say Whaaat?

• Hitler's Red WWII Telephone Sells for $243,000 at Auction
• Flamin' Hot Bacon Grilled Cheese Donut

Sexy Story of the Week

• Two Long-Time Florida Cops to be Fired After Having Sex on the Job
• Porn is a Better Sex Education Tool Than Most States Have

Game: Famous Last Words

Guest: Jack Agron - Founder of Comedy at the Crib

News Stories

• Taco Bell in Vegas Offering $600 Wedding Package
• The Thimble Is Getting the Boot in Monopoly (The Boot Has Already Gotten the Boot)

Weird Science

• Guy Has $89,000 Bionic Penis But Is Too Tired To Use It
• Freezing Your Junk with Liquid Nitrogen Apparently Makes It Better

Creature Feature

• The Wooly Mammoth Could Make A Comeback
• Big Brother for Cats in Iceland

Say Whaaat?

• Man Finds $14,000 of Cocaine in his Nesquik Powder
• 18-Year-Old Job Applicant Gets Greatest Interview Questions Ever

Sexy Story of the Week

• Women Who Have More Sex Have A More Improved Cognitive Function
• Playboy to Start Publishing Nudes Again

Segment: Hard & Fast News

Guests: Charlie Day and 'Fist Fight' Director Richie Keen

Top News

• Haters Dating App
• Stylist in Gaza Straightens Hair with Blowtorch

Weird Science

• Psychologists Say It's Good to Masturbate at Work

Creature Feature

• A Scientist-Approved Google Doc Answering Questions of Which Animals Do/Do Not Fart is Available Online
• A Cockroach Got Stuck In Somebody's Head AGAIN

Say Whaaat?

• Teacher Accidentally Shows Gay Porn to 7th Grade Class
• Couple Has Sex in the Middle of the Street in Broad Daylight with Guy in Bunny Mask Standing Right Next to Them
• Drunk Man Tries to Trade Vodka for Girl Scout Cookies

Sexy Stories of the Week

• Sex Robots with Programmable Personalities on the Horizon
• Best Sex Positions for a Guy with a Micropenis 

Guests David Marino & Mr. DP Stop By To Chat About the Craziest Political Sex Scandals of All-Time!