It literally cannot get worse than this. Austin has written a “rap” (?) about love and COVID. If you are a music major or know anything about rhythm or what music is supposed to sound like, cover your ears. Also featured this episode: the body towel sandwich, flesh bulbs, and teaching Austin that you shouldn’t stick a fork in a toaster because apparently that’s something that needs to be said.

Hot, hot oh wuhgottum and by wuhgottum, we mean we’ve got big plans and theories this episode. Get ready to drive your head in the face with a driver, cover Annie’s car in old bay crab dip and crabs, and dip mozzarella sticks in liquid fat! Plus, if you love WandaVision you’ll hate this theory more than Austin hates yogurt (punishable by death).

HAPPY FANG DAY! Austi award winner, Tim joins us to celebrate the second annual AHT Fang Day. Hear about the AHT crew’s many plots to kill Austin, the Animorphs layer of the Earth, and the magic pills that might just make vegetables legal.

Celebrating one year of AHT, this is the AUSTIIIIIIIIII’S! Relive some of the most iconic hot takes moments in this past 11th Y.O.O.F. (Year of Our Fang) as we award AUSTI’s in categories such as “Plan Most Likely to Succeed if it Worked,” “Deserves Most Jail and Satan,” “The Austin-ism” (The Best Thought Nugget Bequeathed Upon Thee by Me on Air), and much more!

Privet! After years of Put-in in hard work, Austin (and others) have graduated college… and Jeremy has more than a couple complaints. Hear about Austin’s Swedish rock band transcript and his “turd-nuggeting crayon-licking trombone-farting miniscule smoothbrained dummy professor.” Also of note: his raging Hulk smash mode in the heat and Jeremæforms about politics and the arts.

Words cannot describe the pure chaos of this week’s episode so here’s a bunch of inspirational quotes instead. “Peaches are orange cousins” | “They say oxygen doesn’t grow on trees but it does” | “Can you give mouth to mouth to a plant?” | “If we did it, could we do it?” But wait… there’s more! Hear about the hoops that Austin leaps through just to avoid taking his socks off with his hands.

It’s the Star Wars Hot-Take-iday Special! Darth Andrew the Wise, the man who bequeathed all of his Star Wars knowledge unto Austin when he was a wee little Padawan (high school), joins us to discuss uh… Star Wars, duh. Hear about the legends of the Space British, The Emperor Strikes Austin, and Austin’s twin sons Maul and Mace.

It’s Season 3 of AHT (Austin did a U-turn which constitutes an important life milestone and therefore a new season). Annie unveils parts A and B of her plan for world domination previously mentioned on E24: E25. Also, Austin gets blasted in the face with hot gas, has a positive customer service interaction with Neck Beard, and learns how to safely drink orange juice. Bonus: Jeremy debuts Proclamation or BS Nation.

Ooh la la! Get ready for a potluck of steaming hot takes, ranging from Austin’s fear of fast food drive thrus to his hatred for Pixar movies starring humans. Plus, if you get confused by Swiss cheese and Swahili, Justin has the perfect geography game for you! Fun Fact: two lobsters don’t make a biscuit.

On this week’s episode, Annie and Jeremy rant about the pointlessness of New Year’s resolutions, and Austin resolves to plot even more vengeance on the frat bros. Plus, the debut of Punderland: a horrible game dedicated to Austin’s even more horrible puns!