Aware And Prepared

SUMMARY

In this episode, Reverend Geneece Goertzen, a survivor of two decades of abuse, discusses her experiences in two abusive marriages, the challenges she faced, and the importance of recognizing and responding to domestic violence within faith communities, shedding light on the need for validation, safety and informed support for survivors in religious settings.

LESSONS LEARNED

1. Research shows that domestic violence happens in religious families just as much as it does in the general population.

2. Women of faith stay in an abusive marriage longer than the general population. Normally victims return 7x to an abuser, whereas in a religious family, the victims return 9x.

3. It’s important for faith leaders and clergy to believe and validate the experiences of domestic violence survivors.

4. Prioritizing safety should always come first when dealing with domestic violence situations.

5. Faith communities should actively educate themselves about domestic violence resources and services in their area to provide immediate assistance.

6. Speaking about domestic violence from the pulpit and including disclaimers about unhealthy relationship dynamics can help create a safer environment for disclosure.

7. Spiritual abuse can go hand-in-hand with domestic violence, with abusers twisting religious teachings to manipulate victims.

8. It’s crucial not to idolize marriage over the safety and well-being of individuals involved.

9. False accusations of abuse are rare, and it’s important to take victims’ disclosures seriously and investigate them thoroughly. 

10. Affirmation and support for survivors from faith communities can play a crucial role in their healing and recovery.

RESOURCES

Reverend Geneece Goertzen is conducting a study for domestic violence victims that have disclosed in their faith communities. Please contact her through her website at HopeRiseThrive.com to speak with her.

You can followRev. Goertzen on her Instagram page or Facebook.

If you'd like to help sustain this podcast project to help empower others too, buy your host a coffee. Coffee Cheers!

You can find Mandi on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared to message her.

Her website is WomenAwareAndPrepared.com where you can contact her or sign up for her weekly Tuesday Tip emails (at the bottom of the website) to stay safer and feel more empowered. You’ll receive a downloadable list of Mandi’s favorite 10 things to do to stay safer.

Music by Andrea Hamilton Binley at HopefulPop.com.

The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute advice or services. Please use common sense for your own situation.

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Mandi, the host of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast, along with Britt Frank, a licensed neuropsychotherapist emphasize the importance of understanding and addressing anxiety and mental health issues with specificity, compassion, and a holistic approach that considers both the mind and the body.

LESSONS LEARNED

1. Anxiety serves as a signal, like a check engine light that helps point out issues in our lives that need to be addressed.

2. Anxiety is a natural response to perceived threats. It becomes problematic when left unchecked, potentially contributing to various health issues.

3. It's essential to be specific when disclosing anxiety or any mental health issue. Generalized terms like "I'm so anxious" may not provide a clear understanding of what's happening. 

4. For anyone experiencing anxiety, identify specific concerns, break them down into manageable steps, and take small actions (micro-yeses) toward addressing them.

5. Instead of trying to change your mindset immediately, focus on changing your body state. Engaging in sensory activities or movements can help regulate your nervous system.

6. Somatic experiencing is a therapeutic approach that focuses on the physical body's sensations and helps individuals complete unprocessed threat response cycles, allowing them to better tolerate past experiences.

7. It was recommended to find a therapist or practitioner who specializes in neuro-body-based therapies like somatic experiencing, such as EMDR, equine therapy, art therapy, EFT, etc.

RESOURCES

Britt Frank, LSCSW, SEP is a licensed neuropsychotherapist and author of The Science of Stuck, named by Esquire and New York Magazine as a must-read. Britt received her undergraduate degree from Duke University and her master’s degree from the University of Kansas, where she later became an award-winning adjunct instructor. Britt is a contributing columnist to Psychology Today and her work has been featured in Forbes, NPR, Fast Company, Psych Central, SELF, and Thrive Global.

You can follow Britt Frank on her Instagram page.

What is Somatic Therapy and Find a Therapist in your state HERE

If you'd like to help sustain this podcast project to help empower others too, buy your host a coffee. Coffee Cheers!

You can find Mandi on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared to message her.

Her website is WomenAwareAndPrepared.com where you can contact her or sign up for her weekly Tuesday Tip emails (at the bottom of the website) to stay safer and feel more empowered. You’ll receive a downloadable list of Mandi’s favorite 10 things to do to stay safer.

Music by Andrea Hamilton Binley at HopefulPop.com.

The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute advice or services. Please use common sense for your own situation.

Send me a message

SUMMARY

This podcast episode discusses the importance of asking for help, how to find the right therapist and how best to provide advice to abuse or trauma victims.

Annette Oltmans from The Mend Project emphasizes the need to seek qualified and compassionate individuals when reaching out for help to avoid exacerbating trauma. She suggests starting with a small portion of one's story and testing the waters with a potential helper.

She encourages victims to trust their gut and not feel obligated to stick with a therapist who doesn't feel right. Annette also discusses how to approach children or teenagers who may have experienced abuse and the importance of listening, validating, empathizing, and providing support without judgment. 

Additionally, Annette introduces the concept of "double abuse," where poorly responding to a victim's disclosure can worsen their trauma. Hear her share the healing model of compassion instead.

LESSONS

1 .Seek qualified and compassionate individuals when reaching out for help, especially in cases of abuse or trauma

2. Start by sharing a small portion of your story to test the response of potential helpers

3. Trust your instincts and don't feel obligated to continue with a therapist who doesn't feel right

4. Approach children and teenagers who may have experienced abuse with calm, patience and support

5. Listen actively to victims without interrupting and provide validation for their experiences

6. Empathize with victims by trying to understand their perspective and feelings

7. Avoid judgment and criticism when offering support to victims

8. Be aware of the concept of "double abuse" and the potential harm of responding poorly to disclosures

9. Implement a healing model of compassion that includes steps like listening, accepting, empathizing, validating, identifying, encouraging, and grieving with the victim

10. Believe the victim and refrain from making assumptions or pressuring them into quick decisions

11. Create a safe and supportive environment for victims to share their experiences and seek help

12. Recognize the importance of social support in a victim's healing process

RESOURCES

TheMendProject.com and the Healing Model of Compassion

Book mentioned “Invisible Heroes” by Belleruth Naparstek

NEW! If you'd like to help sustain this podcast project to help empower others too, buy your host a coffee. Coffee Cheers!

You can find Mandi on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared to message her.

Her website is WomenAwareAndPrepared.com where you can contact her or sign up for her weekly Tuesday Tip emails (at the bottom of the website) to stay safer and feel more empowered. You’ll receive a downloadable list of Mandi’s favorite 10 things to do to stay safer.

Music by Andrea Hamilton Binley at HopefulPop.com.

The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute advice or services. Please use common sense for your own situation.

Send me a message

SUMMARY

In this episode of the podcast, Mandi dives into a crucial topic: the safety of college freshmen. She highlights the prevalent issue of assaults on college campuses, both from strangers and from people the victim knows. 1 in 6 American women could become victims of sexual assault in their lifetime. College students are 3 TIMES more likely to fall victim, and a staggering 73% of victims know their attackers, a stat from RAINN.

A real-life account is shared, narrating the story of a college freshman who was sexually assaulted by an acquaintance. The host reflects on things we can learn for better outcomes. 

The host provides a comprehensive list of safety tips as shared below.

Equip college freshmen and young adults with valuable knowledge and resources to ensure their safety and well-being in various situations!

LESSONS

22 College Safety Tips To Avoid An Attack

1. Don't share identifying information on social media

2. Familiarize yourself with on AND off-campus locations

3. Inform friends, RAs, and / or parents about your whereabouts

4. Save and prioritize important emergency numbers on your phone

5. Stay in well-populated areas

6. Consider using campus shuttles or security escorts

7. Trust your intuition and avoid unsafe situations

8. Know multiple exits in your surroundings

9. Stay aware of your surroundings and avoid phone distractions

10. Pay attention when returning to your car

11. Park by close and well-lit areas, keep your car locked and keys handy

12. Familiarize yourself with emergency phone locations

13. Keep your phone charged and car’s gas tank full

14. Make people earn your trust before getting in a precarious situation with them

15. Lock doors and windows in your dorm room

16. Attend parties with trusted friends and protect your drink

17. Consider having a breathalyzer keychain for safety

18. Be prepared to lie or make excuses if needed

19. Practice saying "no" firmly and confidently

20. Use distractions to intervene in uncomfortable situations

21. Carry personal safety devices like pepper spray or alarms

22. Consider taking a self-defense class like Krav Maga

RESOURCES

RAINN and sexual assault hotline

News story shared in the episode of Shannon Keeler

Breathalizer example

Personal safety devices

My book: Two Things To Know Before Buying Pepper Spray

What is Krav Maga

NEW! If you'd like to help sustain this podcast project to help empower others too, buy your host a coffee. Coffee Cheers!

You can find Mandi on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared to message her.

Her website is WomenAwareAndPrepared.com where you can contact her or sign up for her weekly Tuesday Tip emails (at the bottom of the website) to stay safer and feel more empowered. You’ll receive a downloadable list of Mandi’s favorite 10 things to do to stay safer.

Music by Andrea Hamilton Binley at HopefulPop.com.

The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute adv

Send me a message

SUMMARY

Mandi shares a personal story of her son at high school dealing with feeling unsafe due to all the recent school shootings. Hear what she did to find out just how safe their school was. Listen as she shares the questions she asked the school vice principal and what response she got. These questions may be asked at any school, college or even office. They may spark some other questions you may think of. 

LESSONS

15 School Safety Questions To Ask Your School, College or Office Admin

1. What is the current protocol to keep kids safe at our school?
2. Are the police called when the fire alarm goes off?
3. How many school resource officers (SRO’s) are on campus?
4. When are the SRO’s / security on campus?
5. Are they armed?
6. Are all classroom doors locked during school? 
7. Is security present for after school events, such as sports, theater, etc.?
8. Have you trained for an active shooter event? When was the last time?
9. Does our school safety team conduct an after action review of recent active shooter events to seek lessons learned?
10. How often does SWAT / PD conduct exercises with the school?
11. Does that team maintain building plans for all the schools in their jurisdiction?
12. How does the school deal with threat information?
13. Does someone make sure that a kid posing a threat gets help? Do you watch for abnormal behavior? What does the school do if they suspect something?
14. Are there staff out at the parking lot before and after school specifically to watch for any trouble?
15. What else is being done to keep the school and every child safe?

Ask Mandi for a copy of this list (through the links below), which comes with:

• 3 Tips for School Safety and 
• 7 Things To Do In Case of a School Shooting

RESOURCES

NEW! If you'd like to help sustain this podcast project to help empower others too, buy your host a coffee. Coffee Cheers!

You can find Mandi on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared to message her.

Her website is WomenAwareAndPrepared.com where you can contact her or sign up for her weekly Tuesday Tip emails (at the bottom of the website) to stay safer and feel more empowered. You’ll receive a downloadable list of Mandi’s favorite 10 things to do to stay safer.

Music by Andrea Hamilton Binley at HopefulPop.com.

The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute advice or services. Please use common sense for your own situation.

Send me a message

Mandi shares a recap of ALL 14 calming things she does to get her body out of fight or flight so she can truly determine what is safe and what is not. I'm sure you have your own ideas for calming your nervous system, but perhaps you can add a few of these to your own list. Enjoy!

LESSONS

TOTAL List of 14 Ideas To Calm The Nervous System:

1. Pet your dog or cat slowly and savor the moment
2. Listen to gentle music, maybe nature sounds like birds singing
3. Wrap yourself in a soft blanket
4. Take mindful sips of your tea or mindful bites as you begin eating
5. Calm your breathing (box breathing or double the exhale than the inhale)
6. Sensory walks
7. Calming essential oils diffused or on your wrist
8. Daycation (a day away with no distractions) or at least an hour away 
9. Heat wrap
10. Reading Bible verses / affirmations
11. Humming music
12. N.O.W. Tone Therapy System by Solu
13. Once a month massage
14. Daily list of 3 things grateful for

RESOURCES

NEW! If you'd like to help sustain this podcast project to help empower others too, buy your host a coffee. Coffee Cheers!

Mandi mentioned Britt Frank, a neuropsychologist, who will join us in September to discuss further how to get unstuck from fight or flight. Here is her book if you’d like to study ahead.

N.O.W. Tone Therapy System by Solu

You can find Mandi on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared to message her.

Her website is WomenAwareAndPrepared.com where you can contact her or sign up for her weekly Tuesday Tip emails (at the bottom of the website) to stay safer and feel more empowered. You’ll receive a downloadable list of Mandi’s favorite 10 things to do to stay safer.

Music by Andrea Hamilton Binley at HopefulPop.com.

The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute advice or services. Please use common sense for your own situation.

Send me a message

SUMMARY

Mandi adds 6 more things she does to help calm her nervous system in this episode. This episode ends the Fight, Flight, Freeze or Fawn series.

LESSONS

List of 6 MORE Things To Calm The Nervous System:

1. Heat wrap
2. Reading Bible verses / affirmations
3. Humming music
4. N.O.W. Tone Therapy System by Solu
5. Once a month massage
6. Daily list of 3 things grateful for

RESOURCES

NEW! If you'd like to help sustain this podcast project to help empower others too, buy your host a coffee. Coffee Cheers!

Mandi mentioned Britt Frank, a neuropsychologist, who will join us in September to discuss further how to get unstuck from fight or flight. Here is her book if you’d like to study ahead.

N.O.W. Tone Therapy System by Solu

You can find Mandi on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared to tell her which of the 8 things listed are most helpful to you!

Her website is WomenAwareAndPrepared.com where you can sign up for her weekly Tuesday Tip emails (at the bottom of the website) to stay safer and feel more empowered. You’ll receive a downloadable list of Mandi’s favorite 10 things to do to stay safer.

Music by Andrea Hamilton Binley at HopefulPop.com.

The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute advice or services. Please use common sense for your own situation.

Send me a message

SUMMARY

Mandi continues in the Fight, Flight, Freeze or Fawn series and lists out 8 things she does to calm her nervous system.  

LESSONS

List of 8 Things To Calm The Nervous System:

1. Pet your dog or cat slowly and savor the moment
2. Listen to gentle music, maybe nature sounds like birds singing
3. Wrap yourself in a soft blanket
4. Take mindful sips of your tea or mindful bites as you begin eating
5. Calm your breathing (box breathing or double the exhale than the inhale)
6. Sensory walks
7. Calming essential oils diffused or on your wrist
8. Daycation (a day away with no distractions) or at least an hour away 

RESOURCES

NEW! If you'd like to help sustain this podcast project to help empower others too, buy your host a coffee. Coffee Cheers!

Mandi mentioned Forest Bathing (consciously connecting with what’s around you) offered at The Huntington Library and Gardens near Los Angeles.

You can find Mandi on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared to tell her which of the 8 things listed are most helpful to you!

Her website is WomenAwareAndPrepared.com where you can sign up for her weekly Tuesday Tip emails (at the bottom of the website) to stay safer and feel more empowered. You’ll receive a downloadable list of Mandi’s favorite 10 things to do to stay safer.

Music by Andrea Hamilton Binley at HopefulPop.com.

The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute advice or services. Please use common sense for your own situation.

Send me a message

Do you have a tendency to avoid conflict and just comply? Listen to Mandi discuss what Fawn looks like in the Fight, Flight, Freeze or Fawn scenario.  

LESSONS

Lesson 1 = Fight flight freeze and fawn are normal brain reactions for survival 

Lesson 2 = It’s important to be aware of what the fawn response may look like. See below for a list of key signs in that response 

Lesson 3 = If box breathing is too much for you in a stressful situation simply breathe in and then breathe out for twice as long and repeat

RESOURCES

NEW! If you'd like to help sustain this podcast project to help empower others too, buy your host a coffee. Coffee Cheers!

Mandi mentioned a Psychology Today article that lists what a fawn response may look like:

· You look to others for how you feel in a relationship or a situation

· It is difficult to identify your feelings, even when you are alone

· You often feel like you have no identity

· You are constantly trying to please the people in your life

· At the first sign of conflict, your first instinct is to appease the angry person

· You ignore your own beliefs, thoughts, and truths and accept those of the people around you

· You may experience unusual emotional responses when issues do not involve people of importance in your life. This could include emotional outbursts at strangers or sudden sadness throughout the day.

· You feel self-anger and guilt some or most of the time

· Saying no to those around you is a challenge

· You are overwhelmed at times but take on more if asked

· You lack boundaries and are often taken advantage of in relationships

· You are uncomfortable or threatened when asked to give an opinion

Mandi also mentions the book “Science of Stuck” from the guest she will have on soon.

You can find Mandi on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared.

Her website is WomenAwareAndPrepared.com where you can sign up for her weekly Tuesday Tip emails (at the bottom of the website) to stay safer and feel more empowered.

Music by Andrea Hamilton Binley at HopefulPop.com.

The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute advice or services. Please use common sense for your own situation.

Send me a message

Ever had that nightmare where your fingers just cannot dial 911? Listen to the host and her guest, an expert security consultant, discuss fine motor movement impairment and 4 other stress reactions we get during a stressful and / or dangerous situation. What happens if you freeze?  

LESSONS

Lesson 1 = Practice with your family and talk about different scenarios

Lesson 2 = Practice deploying whatever self defense tool you’re going to carry with you

Lesson 3 = Visualize what you’d do in the scenarios again and again 

RESOURCES

NEW! If you'd like to help sustain this podcast project to help empower others too, buy your host a coffee. Coffee Cheers!

Guest, Joe, mentions two books: On Killing and Left of Bang

You can find Mandi on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared.

Her website is WomenAwareAndPrepared.com where you can sign up for her weekly Tuesday Tip emails (at the bottom of the website) to stay safer and feel more empowered.

Music by Andrea Hamilton Binley at HopefulPop.com.

The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute advice or services. Please use common sense for your own situation.

Send me a message