Aware And Prepared

The Women Aware and Prepared host, Mandi, continues a mini series on self defense tools. Today she talks about pepper spray: what it’s purpose is, how to carry it and the importance of keeping the element of surprise, knowing the tool, practicing with it and knowing its limits.

LESSONS LEARNED

1. Reminder to keep the tool concealed, carry it in the same place, practice with it, keep the element of surprise and be situationally aware

2. Pepper spray is meant for keeping a boundary, not necessarily hand to hand combat

3. Pepper spray vs pepper gel

4. Google if you can carry it in your area legally and also ask your local police department

5. The factors when purchasing: range, MC measurement, different locks, shelf life, some come with alarms, GPS, etc. 

6. Mandi carries and recommends Sabre pepper gel.

7. Spray an attacker on the face from eye to eye horizontally and then move down to the nose and mouth, also spraying any other exposed skin. If you get it on you, do NOT rub it. Wash off with soap and water and get medical attention.

RESOURCES

Mandi’s book she mentions is easy to purchase on Amazon and a short, yet helpful read: “Two Things To Know Before Buying Pepper Spray.”

Pepper Spray State Laws HERE.

You can find Mandi on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared or her website, WomenAwareAndPrepared.com where you can find out if you’re doing her 10 top tips to stay safer! Grab the free download at the bottom of the site!

Music by Andrea Hamilton Binley at HopefulPop.com.

The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute advice or services. Please use common sense for your own situation.

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The Women Aware and Prepared host, Mandi, begins a mini series on self defense tools.

Today she talks about pepper spray: what it’s purpose is, how to carry it and the importance of keeping the element of surprise, knowing the tool, practicing with it and knowing its limits.

Next week she will continue teaching about pepper spray: which brand she trusts, different types of sprays, where it’s legal to use it,

LESSONS LEARNED

1. Carry a tool with purpose in a hidden place so you have the element of surprise

2. Our goal is to prevent harm so we use situational awareness to be aware and prepared

3. If we get attacked, pepper spray may give us a split second to distract and escape

4. Practice, practice, practice using our tool with the left hand, the right hand, with your eyes closed

Mandi’s book she mentions is easy to purchase on Amazon and a short, yet helpful read: “Two Things To Know Before Buying Pepper Spray.”

You can find Mandi on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared or her website, WomenAwareAndPrepared.com where you can find out if you’re doing her 10 top tips to stay safer! Grab the free download at the bottom of the site!

Music by Andrea Hamilton Binley at HopefulPop.com.

The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute advice or services. Please use common sense for your own situation.

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Annette is the founder of the Mend Project, a nonprofit organization that provides clarity and education to victims and survivors of emotional abuse. Through free monthly trainings the Mend Project strives to provide resources for victims, responders, therapists, and faith leaders. 

This conversation between Annette and host, Mandi, focuses on two topics: covert emotional abuse and also teen relationship violence. 

Covert emotional abuse is defined and Annette shares examples of the behavior. We learn that clarity is the first necessary step to healing. 

The majority of their conversation focuses on teen dating violence. Annette defines what this means and the alarming teen dating violence stats with the forms of abuse we are seeing. Great examples of what a healthy vs. unhealthy relationship looks like.

The ladies encourage listeners to visit TheMendProject.com website and download clarifying terms and definitions in their list of manipulative behaviors, which is applicable even for young kids who are in a bullying situation.

The conversation ended with how to help our teens get the support from us they need, along with how to break up with an unhealthy partner and how to set boundaries. 

Lastly, covert emotional abuse is clearly defined and resources for any type of toxic relationship are shared. It was strongly suggested that we validate our kids so they trust their own intuition to go on to live a healthy happy future.

LESSONS LEARNED

1. What is emotional abuse? The abuser avoids responsibility for their actions, they deflect your concerns, they have power over you, they aren’t truly authentic, they manipulate you and shift the blame always back to you or someone other than themselves.

2. What is a healthy relationship? That is one with mutual trust, transparency, honesty and respect.

3. How to help our teens? Hear them calmly, let them express how they’re feeling, validate that you’ve heard them, encourage confidence, self worth and value.

TheMendProject.com has some wonderful free resources for victims, helpers of victims and organizations wanting to learn about assisting.

We also list the Domestic Violence Hotline at TheHotline.org.

You can find Mandi on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared or her website, WomenAwareAndPrepared.com where you can find out if you’re doing the 10 top tips to stay safer! Grab the free download at the bottom of the site!

The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute advice or services. Please use common sense for your own situation.

TIMESTAMPS

0:01:45 Annette Shares About How The Mend Project Helps The Community

0:06:59 Education and Resources for Understanding Emotional Abuse

0:09:03 Defining Teen Relationship Violence

0:12:02 Overview of Teen Dating Violence Statistics and Forms of Abuse

0:17:58 Discussion on Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships in Teens

0:20:05 Exploring Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

0:27:20 Validation of Children's Emotions and Intuition

0:29:00 Strategies for Supporting Teen Victims of Psychological Abuse

0:39:39 Breaking Up with an Unhealthy Partner

0:43:35 Setting Boundaries with People Who Don't Respect Them

0:44:27 Covert Emotional Abuse

0:47:14 Toxic Relationships and Resources for Help

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The Women Aware and Prepared host reads Kelly's story from the book, The Gift of Fear.

We listen as Kelly is manipulated into letting a charming stranger into her home to "help" her with her groceries.

We learn how Kelly, a 27 year old woman, listened to her own intuition and saved her life after this Good Samaritan-appearing stranger sexually assaulted her and was planning to come back to the bedroom to kill her.

Kelly found that fear was actually a powerful ally that allowed her to save herself. 

We learn with Kelly, from the author of The Gift of Fear, Gavin de Becker, the strategies that Kelly's perpetrator used. De Becker shares multiple survival signals to heed for our own safety.

He believes that understanding and intuitively listening to the fear of danger is key to being able to protect oneself from such situations.

LESSONS LEARNED

Pay attention to the survival signals that predatory criminals use which warn us of danger, especially when paired together.

1. Forced teaming builds premature trust
2. Too many details are a distraction move
3. Charm and Niceness can be a directed instrument with a motive
4. Typecasting exploits our desire to look good and appear nice
5. Loan Sharking makes you feel like you need to return a favor
6. Unsolicited Promise is a dangerous hint when you never asked for a promise
7. Discounting our NO is a huge red flag!

The book read in this episode is the National Bestseller, The Gift of Fear, by Gavin De Becker. This is the #1 self defense tool I always recommend. Read the whole book or listen on Audible.

You can find Mandi on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared or her website, WomenAwareAndPrepared.com. Sign up for her Tuesday Tip emails at the bottom of her site to feel safer and more powerful.

Music by Andrea Hamilton Binley at HopefulPop.com.

The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute advice or services. Please use common sense for your own situation.

Today’s episode falls under “Fair Use” - a copyright disclaimer under section 107 of the copyright art. Allowance is made for fair use - purposes such as commenting and teaching, as we are doing today. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing. All rights and credit go directly to its rightful owners. No copyright infringement intended. I do not own this content. What I share from it is meant for educational purposes.

TIMESTAMPS

0:02:00 Kelly's Story from "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker

0:03:26 Conversation Between Two Strangers: Trusting a Good Samaritan

0:06:38 Kelly's Story of Survival: How Fear and Intuition Saved Her Life

0:09:32 Exploring the Power of Fear That May Save a Life

0:11:40 Survival Signals: Understanding the Tactics of Predatory Criminals

0:13:30 What is Forced Teaming: How to Recognize and Defend Against Manipulation

0:15:35 Conversation on Charm and Niceness

0:18:04 Recognizing Deception Through Too Many Details

0:21:10 Recognizing and Defending Against Typecasting

0:22:20 How a Predatory Criminal May Use Loan Sharking

0:24:32 The Unsolicited Promise

0:26:10 Discounting the word “No” and Negotiating

0:28:34 Summary: Understanding Intuition and Survival Signals

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The Women Aware and Prepared Podcast Host, Mandi, shares a story in the news of a young woman attacked after being kind and giving her attacker the benefit of the doubt. 

LESSONS LEARNED RECAP

Lesson 1 = The goal is to escape an attack. We use a moment of distraction to get away. Mandi discusses this further in the book she wrote: “Two Things To Know About Pepper Spray: Do This First.”

Lesson 2 = We are brought up as women to always be nice. Let’s unlearn that!

Lesson 3 = If you find yourself being attacked, fight back and never give up!

Lesson 4 = Call the police right away.  

Lesson 5 = It’s never too late to report an attack or abuse.

The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute advice or services.

You can find Mandi on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared or her website, WomenAwareAndPrepared.com. Sign up for her Tuesday Tip emails at the bottom of her site to feel safer and more powerful.

Music by Andrea Hamilton Binley at HopefulPop.com.

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The Women Aware and Prepared Podcast Host, Mandi, shares a summary of encouraging life lessons learned from the first few episodes. 

LESSONS LEARNED RECAP

Lesson 1 = If something bad happened to you, you’re not a bad person.

Lesson 2 = If you were a victim of abuse, it's not your fault. 

Lesson 3 = One of the greatest decisions we make in life is whether we will be a victim or a thriver.

Lesson 4 = We only know what we know WHEN we know it. 

You can find Mandi on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared or her website, WomenAwareAndPrepared.com. Sign up for her Tuesday Tip emails helping you feel safer with more peace at the bottom of the site.

Music by Andrea Hamilton Binley at HopefulPop.com.

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Joe, Mandi’s mentor, is a retired Marine with 20+ years of experience in training law enforcement and civilians in situational awareness, self defense, and firearms training. He is highly experienced and has been teaching others how to be safe and protect themselves. 

Joe and Mandi discuss some of the top questions women ask about self defense. 

They talk about how to prevent predators from following someone home and what to do if it happens. 

They talk about situational awareness and how predators select targets. Joe talked about how criminals spot potential victims by observing their body posture.

Joe suggested that individuals should carry themselves in a way that makes them look confident and aware of their environment in order to avoid being targeted and that people be aware of their surroundings while out in public.

If they feel they are being followed, they should take evasive or defensive actions. Some practical ideas were shared. He suggests that people remain calm and don't panic, as panic can make a situation worse.

Timestamps

0:02:58 Conversation on Preventing Follow Home Attacks

0:04:10 Understanding How Predators Select Targets

0:07:55 Discussion on Personal Safety and Avoiding Victimization

0:13:10 Conversation on Identifying and Dealing with Danger Areas

0:14:52 Safety Tips for Navigating a Parking Garage

0:16:02 Conversation on Personal Safety: Utilizing All Senses for Security

0:17:42 How to Study an Attack in Your Community and Prevent It from Happening To You

0:22:42 Self-Protection and Prevention of Crime

0:28:42 Home Defense Strategies

0:36:39 Self-Defense Strategies for Women

0:42:26 Intuition and Safety: Trusting Your Gut and Acting on It

0:46:07 The Importance of Training: A Conversation on Repetition and Mastery

0:50:04 The HUGE responsibility it is to own a gun. Train + Keep It Safely Stored If Not In Use

Lessons Learned Recap

Lesson 1 = Your gut tells you just about everything you need to know. Trust your intuition AND act on it. 

Lesson 2 = Have a layered home defense plan. And sharing info with your neighbors and friends is very important. 

Lesson 3 = Victim’s posture looks like: Your head is down. You're distracted. You're looking away from the possible threat, shuffling your feet, and not really purposeful.  We want to look like we're on a mission or focused. 

Lesson 4 = If you're feeling unsafe when walking back to your car, ask for assistance, or wait to walk with others. 

Lesson 5: One of the requirements in a danger area is to spend the minimum time necessary. If it takes you two minutes to get in your car and get out, that's all it should take. Don’t scroll your phone then.

Lesson 6 = You can defend yourself with what's in your hand. For example, hot coffee in an attacker’s face may get just a moment of distraction to escape. 

Lesson 7 = Have a plan for a break-in: who grabs the weapon, whatever weapon you choose and who calls 9 1 1. Practice that. 

You can find your host, Mandi, on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared or her website, WomenAwareAndPrepared.com. Sign up for her Tuesday Tip emails at the bottom of the site.

To reach Joe, please contact Mandi.

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Mandi Pratt, a trained domestic violence victim advocate, hosts the Women Aware and Prepared podcast. 

On this episode, she is joined by Andrea, a talented musician and ambassador for the US Institute Against Human Trafficking. Andrea is passionate about human trafficking awareness and gives talks to organizations like church staff, first responders and high school groups to help educate them on how to become trafficking free zones, with the goal to join the fight against trafficking.

Mandi and Andrea discussed the issue of missing teenagers. They talked about the different reasons why these teenagers may be missing and the need to take necessary steps to ensure their safety.

The conversation is about the on ramps to trafficking, with a focus on grooming of minors on social media. It is estimated that nearly 400,000 youth were abducted in the US in 2020, and that one in six runaways are likely to become victims of trafficking. It is also revealed that online grooming is a huge on ramp to trafficking, and that it can happen to any minor with access to social media. 

The speakers discuss how to help prevent children from being victimized by manipulative adults, such as traffickers, groomers, and pedophiles. The speakers provide tips for parents to lower the chances of their children being exposed to these exploitations. This is VERY important and we hope that many will listen and learn from this episode.

Lessons Learned

1. Human trafficking is the use of force fraud or co-ercion to benefit off someone else’s work or body.
2. Predators try to befriend our children online, especially through social media, appearing to be their friend and fill an emotional gap. This is a huge on ramp to trafficking.
3. Human trafficking is happening right under our noses here in the U.S. across most cities and states but we can do something about it. Check the resources in show notes.
4. Remember to establish phone rules / boundaries to set with your child’s phone usage and keep communication open 
5. We shared tips for digital safety and what to actually do if you or your child becomes a victim
6. MANY resources were shared. Check the show notes by clicking this episode on your podcast player and reading the text under the play button. 

Resources

Our Guest was Andrea Hamilton. Follow or email her through her website. (By the way, the music you hear on this podcast is hers!)

Take It Down - A service provided by the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children to remove explicit photos and videos taken before age 18. You remain anonymous while using the service and won’t have to send images to anyone.

Exodus Cry - Helping those who have been exploited and preventing further exploitation

US Institute Against Human Trafficking - Educating the public about HT, helping victims and survivors, empowering volunteers to take a stand in their communities 

Thorn - Co-founders Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore built Thorn to fight child sex trafficking identifying the needs, gathering resources and creating powerful solutions to fight child sexual abuse. Thorn is developing tech solutions to fight this problem.

Polaris Project - Serves as a data hub for the anti-human trafficking field, providing key data to researchers, academics, law enforcement and others seeking to deepen knowledge and understanding. They operate the US National HT hotline.

National Human Trafficking Hotline - Report anything suspicious as well as exploitation that has happened and get questions a

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Former Detective Ryan, shares his story of a bank robbing fugitive (my former husband). Ryan describes all the many twists and turns during the 3 years it took to finally apprehend him.

The Women Aware and Prepared podcast continues in a discussion with Ryan, who was a detective working on the case involving the podcast host’s former husband. We pick up the story from Episode I.

Ryan explains that the former husband, who he gives the name “David,” was on parole from his former prison sentence for multiple bank robberies and working as a physician assistant when David befriended a terminally ill individual. 

This individual returned to his house late one night and saw someone with a truck loading his safe onto the truck bed. The homeowner alerted the police and the police found surveillance footage with a clear face shot of David. The police ran a record check and found out that David had served several years in prison for bank robbery in Southern CA. 

David got away with two high-end paintings, 20 silver coins, some gold, a pocket watch, a unique bronze coin, the victim's checkbook, and a ring worth $15,000.

David became a missing person and a fugitive on the run. Ryan goes on to discuss a few breaks in the case and how it progressed over 3 years along with the different steps taken to find David. 

The case eventually led to the FBI getting involved in the case and David being arrested by a SWAT team. He was sentenced to another term in prison, again for new bank robberies, where he now serves.

The podcast host emphasizes the huge path of destruction that a person like David leaves behind with many victims involved. Ryan gives advice on listening to one’s intuition and on parents raising responsible human beings that care for others.

Lessons Learned

1. Teach your children how to take responsibility for their actions and to be good human beings, to care about other people.
2. Teach your children about what mental illness is. If someone has a mental illness, there are therapies and medications to help, but that is no excuse for abuse. You can’t fix them. Only they can fix themselves. Everyone is responsible for their own behavior.
3. Listen to your gut instinct and don’t ignore warning signs like poor me stories, not wanting to be in photos, blame shifting…

Resources

Learn more about emotional and physical self defense from the podcast host at WomenAwareAndPrepared.com or following on Instagram

Determine if you’re in an abusive relationship or get help for a loved one at TheMendProject.com

Contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at TheHotline.org 

Timestamps

0:04:25 Investigation of Theft of Valuables from Wealthy Homeowner 

0:08:15 A Few Breaks in the Case: Instagram Messages and a Car Search

0:13:10 More Leads and a Telling Photo

0:15:17 Arrest Attempt

0:20:10 Detective Ryan's Conversation with David's Girlfriend Regarding His Fugitive Status

0:21:10 The FBI Enters the Case 

0:24:15 Stakeout Begins and Arrest of Serial Bank Robber David

0:27:29 Prison Sentencing and Concerned Victims

0:31:22 Conversation Summary: Uncovering the True Identity

0:32:14 Ryan’s Advice: Warning Signs

034:17 Parental Responsibility and Preventing Paths of Destruction

0:37:37 Lessons Learned

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My Story Part I

Summary

I share my own crazy life story to raise awareness about the importance of recognizing signs of abuse and getting out of an unhealthy relationship as soon as possible. My story began when I was 15 - 16 and decades later, ended up being on the evening news. 

Stay tuned for part 2 of my story when, in an upcoming episode, the detective on our case joins me to share the second half of my story I have never shared publicly before.

Why am I so passionate about helping others become aware and prepared to avoid emotional and physical harm? Because it’s taken me decades of counseling, working on myself and health care to become a healthy person. I don’t want anyone else to go through that, if it can be avoided with education and advocacy.

Lessons Learned

1. Whether you are dating, engaged, married, whatever the case, listen to your instincts and act on them.
2. We can’t beat ourselves up - we only know what we know WHEN we know it
3. Notice red flags and investigate
4. Verbal abuse and emotional abuse almost always leads to physical abuse
5. Restraining order aren’t what most people think and there’s some really important things to know about them.
6. Everyone is responsible for their own behaviors and there is no excuse for abuse.
7. Healing and peace is possible.

Timestamps

0:00:03 Beginning of My Story 

0:02:07 Summary of Abuse 

0:04:39 When I Left 

0:10:55 Visit from the FBI 

0:12:50 Power Struggles 

0:19:34 Reported Missing 

0:21:51 The Search

0:24:03 How I Found Hope and Healing 

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