Grant binge‑watches 24 hours of Masters coverage as Rory hangs on to claim back‑to‑back green jackets. From there he and Roger jump to Arsenal’s title nerves, German ultras nicking and burning flags, Infantino’s tone‑deaf World Cup cash‑grab, and why real, messy fan culture and lower‑league chaos still feel infinitely more honest than the leveraged “sport as asset class” fantasy. Along the way: Marie‑Louise Eta makes history as the first woman to take charge of a men’s team in any of Europe’s top five leagues, and an Italian prank call goes wrong. It’s Goal/Own Goal, brought to you by Lockeroom.