In which Carman beats the crap out of Satan (again).

Have you ever had a negative experience with a therapist? That's because, as our movie today informs us, therapists are Nazis and the only way to resist them is to join the Church of Scientology--er, I mean, to join the fight against human rights abuses caused by psychiatrists. Those are really the only human rights abuses you should be worried about, and we have some wonderful literature for you to sign--I mean, read, to make sure you don't focus on any other human rights abuses that you may be worried about, which our superiors have informed us do not actually count as human rights abuses as long as you don't look at them. Dan and Ryan are joined by their good friend and hilarious comedian Alexa to discuss the movie version of a Scientology museum where you get to watch this movie, which tells you about the museum. It's all very confusing, but the most important thing here is that you can absolutely trust the Church of Scientology when it tells you that people who do the things that the Church of Scientology has done are evil, as long as we call them psychiatrists and not scientologists. Special guest appearance by Ryan's dog Lenny.

As the nation mourns the loss of its most beloved superhero (RIP Kevin Conroy), another caped crusader returns to continue the fight against crime, or not really crime so much as a couple of goofy idiots who dance around with scarves and fall in love with their computers. That's right folks, we're taking another crack at Bibleman! Dan learns that Ryan is a liar, and Ryan laughs maniacally as Dan completely loses his mind while trying to understand what is going on in the Bibleman Extended Universe. Our titular hero is twice as horny this time around, and he's got sex and scat jokes at his disposal. It's all very hard to describe, but try to imagine a children's show written by Charlie Kaufman and directed by David Lynch that ends with a Cenobite leading you in the sinner's prayer. Hide your kids and lock the doors, Bibleman is on his way!

In which Dan and Ryan discover that there's a Bibleman video game.

The nation is at a crossroads. Social media giants are falling, billionaires are collapsing into themselves, and we are on the brink of a profoundly troubling election. It's clear what we need to do. Now, more than ever, we need to stop listening to rock music and get clean from heroine before it leads to something worse like marijuana. Don't misunderstand - Dan and Ryan like a really good "get down" beat as much as anyone. But do you even realize how many rock songs talk about sex? Of course, we can't force you to smash your rock records. But don't let yourself be fooled by the satanic anthems of Billy Joel or the hellish screams of the Captain and Tennille. IT'S YOUR DECISION. The boys are joined by good friend and hilarious Baltimore comedian John Nagle. It's his decision too. (But mostly yours.)

In which a woman eats a hamster.

This week Dan and Ryan celebrate Halloween by doing everything they can to bury their original episode about a troubling documentary and replace it with this discussion of a strange movie made by a Christian band in the mid-nineties. Maybe our brains were too fried from the last movie but we actually kind of liked this one. There's a very moving subplot about a bassist being threatened by an angry clown. This movie has a certain special quality, it rhymes with ointment.

Halloween may seem like a time of harmless fun, but before you know it children will be dressing up as bees, horny old ladies will be jumping around their living rooms, and Mrs. Smith's fourth-grade glass will suddenly reveal deep-seated homicidal tendencies. Halloween is no joke, and that is why a group of concerned Christians got together in 1991 to make up a bunch of scary facts about what the Satanists are doing in your neighborhood. Be on your guard. NOT THE BEES!!!

In which Dan and Ryan try in vain to understand what Degarmo & Key are talking about.

The question on everyone's minds is, "What happened after Gary Busey blew up all those demons?" (see episode #1) This movie picks up where Tribulation left off. We meet back up with Helen Hannah, the journalist who died in that film. Corbin Bernsen and Mr. T lead a no-star cast in this legal drama about a court case where - get this - they put God on trial! Meanwhile, Mr. T wants to kill everyone, and his actions directly result in the eternal doom of one person, but he only feels sad about it for a second. Dan and Ryan are just happy to spend more time with Franco Macaluso.