President Trump attends a mysterious gathering of hundreds of generals at Quantico that's definitely not suspicious at all. The White House insists it's just about "esprit de corps" and touring weapons, which is exactly what you say when everything is completely normal. Then Trump briefly promotes AI-generated "medbeds" - alien healing technology that turned out to be expensive heating pads from a New Age convention. Plus, Portland gets designated as "war ravaged," which comes as news to Portland residents who thought their biggest threat was choosing between kombucha flavors.

The hard working President plans to take in some golf later today.

Bill Burr, Dave Chappelle, and Pete Davidson are among the comedians performing at the Riyadh Comedy Festival.  Marc Maron has some thoughts about that...

Patrick Gutfield covers the week's most absurd political theater: Anonymous artists install a bronze statue of Trump and Epstein holding hands on the National Mall (spoiler: it doesn't last), Trump replaces Biden's presidential portrait with a picture of an autopen machine in his new "Walk of Fame," and the President demands a UN investigation into "triple sabotage" involving a broken escalator, malfunctioning teleprompter, and bad audio. Plus, why every political distraction seems designed to avoid one topic: releasing the Epstein files.

Patrick Gutfield breaks down the week's wildest political moments: Jimmy Kimmel returns from suspension with a masterclass in not-really-apologizing, Emmanuel Macron calls Trump to complain about New York traffic (and tries to solve Gaza while he's at it), Trump demands a federal investigation into a malfunctioning UN escalator, and Zelensky discovers the secret to better US relations is Putin's constant lying. Plus, why Trump's pivot on Ukraine has everyone from France to Fox News doing double takes.

Jimmy Kimmel returns to TV tonight.

Some politicians made some clams Tylenol isnt gonna like.

Patrick Gutfield dives into Trump's plan for a Navy boat parade after his thirty-million-dollar Army birthday bash flopped (apparently soldiers marching out of step isn't good TV), his fifteen-billion-dollar lawsuit against the New York Times over TV production credits, and his declaration of war on the NFL's new kickoff rule as "sissy football." From shimmering seacraft spectacles to presidential sports commentary, it's military pageantry meets media lawfare with a side of football critique.

Patrick Gutfield breaks down the week's absurd political news: Trump threatens to revoke broadcast licenses while Jimmy Kimmel gets indefinitely pulled from ABC, Marine One makes an unscheduled landing in England due to hydraulic issues, crypto investors install a twelve-foot golden Trump statue outside the Capitol during the Fed's rate announcement, and the fate of TikTok hangs on a phone call between world leaders. Plus, why Congressional Democrats are now the ones fighting to protect free speech, and what happens when your backup helicopter pilot finally gets their moment to shine.

Patrick Gutfield dives into Trump's plan for a Navy boat parade after his thirty-million-dollar Army birthday bash flopped (apparently soldiers marching out of step isn't good TV), his fifteen-billion-dollar lawsuit against the New York Times over TV production credits, and his declaration of war on the NFL's new kickoff rule as "sissy football." From shimmering seacraft spectacles to presidential sports commentary, it's military pageantry meets media lawfare with a side of football critique.

Patrick Gutfield covers the Trump administration's order to remove slavery materials from National Parks (apparently whip scars are too negative for the gift shop), Luigi Mangione dodging terrorism charges for the UnitedHealthcare CEO killing, and Trump's two-hundred-million-dollar White House ballroom project that's turning the South Lawn into a construction zone. From sanitizing Civil War history to chainsaw diplomacy, it's revisionist history meets extreme home makeover

Patrick Gutfield covers President Trump's lavish second state visit to Windsor Castle - complete with horse carriages, military bands, and a private lunch that makes Mar-a-Lago look like a Denny's. Plus, Trump announces a Republican midterm convention after Democrats had the same idea, proving that even presidential politics involves copying homework. From wreath-laying at Queen Elizabeth's tomb to dueling political conventions, it's pomp, circumstance, and shameless imitation all in one show.