Be It Till You See It

What is stress holding you back from? Where is the stress coming from? Dr. Kelly joins the podcast to talk about stressors that we may be able to control and how to shake out stress to live a fully healthy life

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How to manage stress well
• Signs your body is stressed out
• Things to identify stressors and de-stress
• Under eating is contributing to your stress 
• Are you creating a story to contribute to the anxiety? 
• How to work through the emotions, so stress doesn’t hold you back 

BIO 

Dr. Bender is a California licensed Naturopathic Medical Doctor. As a graduate of Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine, Dr. Bender is trained as an expert in natural medicine. After graduating summa cum laude with a Bachelor of Science in Pharmacology & Toxicology from the University at Buffalo and top of her class in medical school, she has continued her training in cutting edge therapies. Ketamine assisted therapy, regenerative medicine, bio-identical hormone replacement therapy and peptide therapy have been important additions to her practice to truly help individuals heal. She is passionate about helping individuals optimize their health so they can live their lives to the fullest. Dr. Bender believes it is important to understand the entire person in order to facilitate healing and offers each patient an individualized treatment plan to enhance their vitality. Dr. Bender enjoys teaching others, whether it be her patients or students at various medical schools. While she misses the fall weather back home in New York, she is happy to make Los Angeles her home.

Episode References/Links:

• The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
• Dr. Kelly’s website

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
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• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host Brad and I are going to dig into the releasing convo I had with Dr. Kelly Bendor in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to this episode, go back, listen to it now. And then come back and listen to this one. Or listen to this one. And then see if you resonate the same things that we did in the last one. It's just fun. It's like a quiz. It's like Jeopardy in reverse. Anyways, we, all just be really all we're currently in.

Jeopardy in reverse, love that. Love that. 

Maybe it's just like Jeopardy, in general? I don't know.

I'll let you figure that out, listener. Ah, all right, love. So I'm in full disclosure. We are in Mexico. This has been pre recorded. (Oh, yeah). If you are seeing socials from me, it's because the IGs have now allowed you an iPhone to pre schedule your posts. So they were pre scheduled before social (Brad: because we are on vacay). Vacation! Happy 40th to me, happy 40th to Brad, we are taking, I don't know, how many days we're here? Like five days to be in Mexico. And like turn the phones, I am hoping that my phone is just off. Maybe I'll just leave it in a safe at the hotel room. (Brad: That would be amazing). Because also you take all the pictures anyway. So let's just be real.

That implies I'm not turning mine off. But fair, fair.

Oh, you know what? Let's see who can turn those off the longest because I already live on Do Not Disturb. So it's it's not hard for me to like just not have a phone because it doesn't do anything for me.

Brad Crowell  

I think that would be really challenging (you guys) that's a challenge!

Lesley Logan  

In like several episodes, we will give you the real deal, disclosure on it. If Brad did it or not? Because

Brad Crowell  

I didn't do it. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

All right. So anyways, we are, we are in Mexico celebrating our 40th. And, and also, if you're listening to this in real time, it is March Matness. And I know you're thinking Lesley, you said a T. Not the D

Brad Crowell  

she's like weirdly saying that word.

Lesley Logan  

And let me just tell you. March Madness also happens like pretty fucking late in March and goes into April, which makes no sense to me. But I am going to be doing some bets because I have this new hobby of sports betting. Welcome to Vegas. But at any rate, I did say madness on purpose, because it is all about doing the Pilates Mat work. And you all are like, ah, the mat is so hard, it is (pretty hard). It's gonna it's gonna make you do it all on your own. And so because of March Matness, we put the mat flashcards on sale, we sure did. We shared it. So go to opc.me/flashcards Hey, check out that URL have sort short it is

Brad Crowell  

that's how we do, we're getting better.

Lesley Logan  

opc.me/flashcards

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, that's how we do and then later this month, we are really excited. We're starting this new endeavor on the OPC site, where we're hosting workshops, and we're getting everybody involved, meaning your opinion is is needed in order to know what kind of workshops we should be hosting. But a couple times a year, like three, four times a year, we're going to be doing workshops periodically. And we'll bring in different guests and Lesley will host them herself and all things. So if you would like to be on the list for that just go to opc.me/workshops and you will be added to the waitlist. But at the end of this month in March, we're going to be hosting one. So stay tuned!

Lesley Logan  

We are going to be hosting one, you'll want to be on that waitlist to hear what it is. But also it'll be it'll involve me and the other OPC teachers, which is going to be so much fun. And I have a couple of workshops that I'm thinking of doing. So if you're wanting to be part of that planning meeting, you just want your opinion to be heard. Then opc.me/workshops

Gotta be part of the planning.

Yeah, that's that's that's how you can plan. All right. Before we get into Dr. Kelly Bender again. I fucking love her. (Yeah, she's awesome). I'm obsessed. It makes me want to have like a doctor hour, which is a little hard because they're not only allowed to say kind of so much stuff without like getting in trouble with being a doctor. However, we do have an audience question and what is that?

Brad Crowell  

So we had a question about Pilates equipment. And it was: does my Pilates Mat need to have a strap? You know if you if you if you know I'm a yoga guy, my my mat? Why would my mat have a strap except to carry it? Pilates mats are very different.

Lesley Logan  

That's so true.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, what the hell, I was like a strap that doesn't make sense. But so Pilates mats are stiff and they like you know, you could have an actual strap like stapled to the very end of it that you can flip your feet underneath of it. (Yeah, yeah). Slip it up over your ankles.

Lesley Logan  

Let me think of like how many yoga straps I purchased and then never used because they're so annoying. They make...

Brad Crowell  

They're never quite long enough.

Lesley Logan  

Well, they're either the Velcro that goes and then you're correct.

Brad Crowell  

Hows that go?

Lesley Logan  

There are they're like they're kind of under your armpit but they're not but they are

Brad Crowell  

 Yeah, they're never quite long.

Lesley Logan  

They're just I don't know I don't know who was the the fit model for that but wrong person.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, fail blog.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, so oh my god that was so old. You haven't said that in years. You used to say, y'all he'd say fail blog when we started dating and I was like, does that bother me?

Brad Crowell  

Are you kidding me? First time hearing this folks, this is news to Brad

Lesley Logan  

it's also, not it's just it was part of that whole back I mean we've been together for so long, like almost this fall is 10 years so like, wow, well that we met we met 10 years. Yeah, that's true. But back then you all, you would say hashtag whatever, hashtag this and so failed blog just made me think of like saying hashtag goals like just in general you would just like say hashtag (Brad: hashtag class)

anyway (oh my god) dag me with a spoon.

Okay, that is okay, you can say that. So anyways, um, so this is a great question, I get this, I actually get this often. And I wanted to talk about it because one of my elevate members was struggling with her roll up. And she was like, I don't like this. I like this. I like this. And I was like, well, she doesn't have a strap. So like if she didn't like any of those things. But then she got a strap, and it changed everything. And so here's the deal, a travel Pilates mat that rolls up like as foam, it's like squishy squish. That having a strap on it is going to do nothing for you, except for help you carry it so. But if you are on a firm mat, so like I have an affiliate link for ControlLogix. Everything I actually have an affiliate link for everything the bounce buddy makes. So hit us up if you want it. But a Pilates mat that is actually pretty firm has a strap on it or your Cadillac can have a strap off the edge. You you do want a strap, I'm just gonna say it. If you can't afford that right now, don't have the space for that right now then please know that you want to have a magic circle. Because you need something to help you activate your seat. Activate your Thass to help you do a roll up. All right, it's just what you need. Now, can you do a roll up without a strap and automatic circle and not move around? Yes. Hi, I can do that. I've been doing this for 20 years. So, So can I help you do it? Absolutely. Do I want to do that was one of the OPC workshops, yes is on that list.

Brad Crowell  

There you go get on that list. opc.me/workshops. 

Lesley Logan  

But does your mat need to strap. It's, I don't want if you are not doing Pilates because you don't have a mat with a strap. I don't want that to be a rule for you. But if you can see...

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, it's not gonna stop you from doing it. But it'll be, it can benefit your practice.

Lesley Logan  

 There's two exercises you're gonna use a strap for, there's two. So it is only two exercises. However, it is the difference between being able to access like 17 other exercises. So the better your roll up is with a strap, the more you're gonna love open like rocker, the more you're gonna love teaser, the more you're gonna love control balance often, like there's just a lot of things that have in a strap helps teach you how these connections. So what I would say is if you can set aside some bucks every week, so that you can save up for a mat. Use our affiliate link get a little discount a little moment. And, and then watch your mind get blown with what happens with a strap.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, I think someone just texted us a a fun savings idea of saving one (for my brain) $1 on week one, $2 and week two, $3 and week three, etc, etc, etc. And by the end of the year, week 52 You're saving $52. And I because I'm a math junkiem nerd loser guy, I went on my Google Sheets and I added them all up. It ends up being like more than 1300 bucks that you're saving over the year.

Lesley Logan  

Just so you know, you could buy two mats with that with a strap. Yeah, my affiliate link you could.

So that doesn't include tax and shipping. But you guys, what I would just say is if Pilates is something that you want to be part of your life, buying an expensive mat, it may sound weird, but it's the same as like buying a weight bench.

Brad Crowell  

Right? Yeah. Or like a set of weights. You know, that could be a couple 100 bucks.

Lesley Logan  

Oh my god, Brad, do you know how expensive weights are. I know you just bought those like little little chips, the little chips traverse and you got it somehow somebody definitely missed a zero in those. However...

Brad Crowell  

I know I looked at the five pounds that were 35 bucks for two set of fibers.

Lesley Logan  

Yes, I was looking for these like these weight things where you could adjust the weight without having to like be dramatic about it. They went from $300 to $700 during the pandemic and I was like someone is ripping me off. So it's all it's all relative, you guys. It's what you value and if you want Pilates as part of your life forever, which I hope you do, then get them out with the strap. Hit the link below. Alright, that's what I got to say about that.

Brad Crowell  

Love that, all right well...

Okay, maybe now let's talk about Dr. Kelly bender.

Lesley Logan  

I feel like you're about to announce and now... 

Brad Crowell  

In the left corner (we have) as an expert in natural science Kelly benders passionate about helping individuals achieve optimal health and finding Healing Within. She's happy to call Los Angeles her home where she you can find her teaching others and working at her clinic, Pure Vitality Rejuvenation Center, which she has been expanding. And she's had all sorts of amazing opportunities now. Really cool.

Lesley Logan  

It's so cool. Yeah, I've known her for so long. I've known her for years. And we did Cambodia with her. 

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, she came to Cambodia with us. Yes. Yeah. So she's a friend. 

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Oh, we're besties. She's even on my like little top. You know, the quick link on the texting.

Brad Crowell  

Oh, yeah, the pins. She's, that's what it's called (There you go). Well, I really enjoyed that episode. In fact, I listened to it twice. I thought it was you know, I listened to it the first time through. And like, it's just so full of detail that it just like kind of went over like past me it just like, wow, you know, and I thought... (I had to listen to it twice) So I went back, I slowed it down and actually, like, listened to each of these things. And what I loved was the idea that we might not even know that we are under stress. We might be saying, Oh, no, I don't have any stress. I'm good. You know, I'm totally good. But we also, which I don't know, I'm not I'm not actually talking about me. I'm speaking for a friend. Right now.

Lesley Logan  

Also, I'm just thinking about the meme that we did not send to your cousins when they said, I'm having a second... They're having a second child and you're like, Jason, this was from shits Creek, and she's like, I'm fine. I'm fine.

I'm good. I'm so good. And her hair is like exploding. She's stressed it up.

Brad Crowell  

Because we are so often disassociated from our own bodies. Meaning we don't know what we're feeling. We don't like understand when like, we're being impacted by stress, we might not even realizing that we are experiencing signs of stress. Okay, so I compiled a list and went back through and I literally wrote down everything that she just ticked off because it went past like, super fast. Here are some signs that you may be under stress. Skin issues could include rashes. GI issues could include chronic diarrhea, could be constipation. You could actually have...

Lesley Logan  

You need to say this like a like a commercial for drugs.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, right. Experiencing skin issues, rashes, chronic chronic diarrhea, constipation, GI issues, sleeping cortisol, hormones weight gain, then don't take this if you're allergic to it. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

If you're allergic to stress your brain is shrinking hormones waking, irregular menstrual cycles, spotting, headaches. Call call your doctor now to see if stress is good for you.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So (we don't watch like we watch like one show. And they every commercial does drugs). I know.

Brad Crowell  

Alright, anyway, GI issues. It could be diarrhea, constipation, you could actually not have hunger. So if you wake up in the morning, and you're like, oh, yeah, you know, I don't, I don't eat in the morning because I'm never hungry. Actually, that could be a sign that you're under stressed.

Lesley Logan  

When I taught in LA this was like a badge of honor with my ladies are like, Oh, I'm not hungry. I'm not hungry. I'm like, cuz you're stressed case.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah you're sleeping, if you're not sleeping well, or you're not sleeping consistently, that will put your body under stress, your cortisol levels will actually increase when your body is under stress. And that will actually lead to the brain shrinkage.

Lesley Logan  

This is crazy. Your brain gets smaller.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, so So I feel like I need to go back and re listen to that part because she was talking about cortisol versus not whatever it's supposed to be in. Anyway, if you're under constant amount of stress, you're pumping your your brain with cortisol, and you can eventually get used to it. You should not be like flooding your brain with cortisol, it actually you know, is it's not good for you.

Lesley Logan  

Everything in moderation, including moderation. Like your like your a little bit of cortisol can be really good for you. It's like the way to like get you to like run away from a fucking leopard.

Brad Crowell  

Well, that's what I mean. But if you you can't be continuously under that, that space or it won't be doing its function that it's supposed to be (correct). Yeah. But wait there's more, hormones could be effective. You know, with by stress, weight gain, irregular menstrual cycles, spotting, headaches, muscle tightness, particularly your shoulders, or maybe your jaw. This is when I didn't realize that I used to do this a lot. When I rode my motorcycle. I would clench my jaw because I'm like, so focused and it's stressful, lack of hunger. I already mentioned that sleep and then as specifically with sleep changes in your mood.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, so y'all how stressed out are you?

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. And what these all are, are signs that you are experiencing stress, okay? And we often will just say like, oh, no, I'm not stress, I just don't sleep very well.

Lesley Logan  

Well, also, like, you know, something that people don't realize is that the pandemic was an acute cause of stress for the entire world. And back in 2021, we brought in my somatic therapist to actually check with our agency members about like, are you still living in that stressed out like, survival mode zone?

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, it was weird because it went way longer. Acute means like, it's short. And yeah, but like, it wasn't it like became this long

Lesley Logan  

Turned it as a chronic thing. And so it's like, it's so good to be able to go into that third gear that survival mode gear, because, hello, you should survive with that. But so many people that we were around, I could tell we're not they're not getting out of that gear. (Brad: Their not down shifting). Yeah, that's thank you for doing that. Brad. I don't actually know what it means. I've never stick.

Um, we brought her in, because so many of the people that we were coaching, were not aware of the stress. And I think that if you're listening to this, if any of these things sound like oh, I've been going through that. It's possible that just like a frog in the water, to slowly turning the heat up. That stress was like a little bit and a little bit in a little bit and a little bit, but you didn't realize it because you've just been in so long. And so it's so (Brad: do you realize) that you're under stress 

Brad Crowell  

And you are a frog in a pot of boiling water? Do you realize

Lesley Logan  

okay, so I'm gonna tell you what I loved.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. Moving along.

Lesley Logan  

If you could be a fly on the wall of this room. So I actually this blew my fucking mind. Okay, it blew, my mind was blown like emoji. She said, what you're feeling and what you're attributing that to may not actually be correlated at all. And I'm actually going to tell a little story that actually goes back to what you loved. So let me just finish this thought. And I'll tell the story. Yeah. So she said, often, we come up with a reason to figure out to read, like, we try to reason why we feel a certain way. And we like take signs around us. Oh, that must be it. And that's Oh, Eureka. I know why I feel this way. It's that person over there. (Right). And so I was taking one of my clients, and she told me she's like, that she got a massage at my favorite place to validate massage. And she's like, Yeah, I'm going back for a facial because I gotta talk to them. But there's something wrong with their, their sheets, because I got I broke out on the left side of my face. And I said, you don't think that has anything to deal with, like, you're not living in your own home, you're in a rental that someone just told me broke into, you have been like, had to like, raise your rates in your business, shift everything. You don't think that this left side of your face breakout has anything to do with just like stress. So she...

Brad Crowell  

flash, flash touching,

Lesley Logan  

touch, and then she kept touching your face. She kept touching it as a second to your face. Because you're gonna make it worse. she asked me later, she's like, found the culprit. It's the sheets in the rental house that I'm in and I'm like, yeah. Anyways, physically, so but I also like, it's also the stress of what your living situation is right now, guys. So the point being, she decided to reason that this breakdown in her face must have to do with the sheets of a massage, would it? And then she's like, No, it's a sheet of where I'm sleeping. It's like, actually, it's the life that you're currently in, in this exact moment. But we tried to like come up with an answer, because that's what human beings want to do. We want to have an answer. And so what she was saying, and this is so important, is like, I think I had I think I learned this the hard way. I would have stomach issues after like, Oh, can't eat that thing.

Brad Crowell  

Oh, sure. I mean, I was gonna talk about this.

Lesley Logan  

And then we did a bunch of research and it's like, well, actually, that stuff can live in the body for 21 days. So it might not have been from what you did at that moment

Brad Crowell  

It could have have been from literally three weeks. So what the hell

Lesley Logan  

And then once I found that I was like, are you fucking kidding me? (Yeah). What in the world? So the point being is that she's like, when stuff is coming up, try not to attach it to any other thing around you. And like, because it might not have that thing you might actually be, you might literally change jobs. 

Brad Crowell  

she was, she was talking about, like, the example she used was like going into work, when you go into work, you may feel stressed. And then you're like, this job is causing me stress, when in fact, it may have nothing to do with the job, it may have to do with the timing of something else. And your body is now deciding to do you know, to notify you. But then we associate it with stress. And then she said, what the crazy part is, is is a learned behavior. So you might say, my job stresses me out, but it wasn't your job that stressed you out. Then, a week later, when you're no longer stressed, you now have learned that your job stresses you out. So every time you show up at your job, you're stressing yourself out even though there's the actual thing that caused that stress is gone. 

Lesley Logan  

It's insane. We can, our minds are so powerful.

Brad Crowell  

I mean, it's, it's like Pavlov's dogs with the you know, where the dog smells would water when they heard the sound. Yeah, and then they're like, food must be coming. We can we can do that to ourselves. It's kind of amazing.

Lesley Logan  

I mean, it's pretty crazy. Well, but that goes back to like the guy like you can use this for good y'all like there was that guy who he was a prisoner of war. And he pictured himself playing golf at his local golf course every day. And he pictured himself golfing every single hole and, and hitting a par. And after four years of being a prisoner of war, which y'all just like think about what four years of that would do you like deconditioned all these things he gets home and his friends like what are you gonna do? He's like on play a round of golf. And they're like, really? Do you have this thing for that? And he did a par because his mind was so conditioned that I should have par at this course he did it after for four plus years about golfing. The author of The Sun Does Shine, I'm so sorry. I don't remember his name. But he was a prisoner in on death row for decades. He like he got through that because of his mind. In his mind, he would like he was married (Anthony Ray Hinton) Yes. Oh my God, he's so powerful. He is so inspiring. But he like he sat there and like picture a movie in his life where he's married to Halle Berry. And then there was a moment where he like, was married to Sandra Bullock because the speed anyways, it's just like, you can do amazing positive things with your mind. Or you can do negative things with your mind and what Kelly was saying Dr. Bender was saying is like, try not to make reason around the things that are not feeling good. Because that you may be causing yourself more stress than you actually ever need to have. Like, wouldn't it be okay if we were just okay not knowing why that was happening? Thar's gonna stress the perfectionist out. 

Brad Crowell  

All right. So finally, let's talk about those Be It action items. What bold, executable intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your combo with Dr. Kelly bender?

Lesley Logan  

Well, she had one and it was move your body. Well, she actually said SHAKE, SHAKE, SHAKE your body. Shake it all the time. Do do do

Brad Crowell  

Senora. 

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Sorry, guys. We went to the Mayfair. And as our new ritual is over at the Mayfair and they do with the conga line. Yeah, we get up and we dance around the whole restaurant. And it's to that song anyways. But she really did say like, you need to shake your body because shaking your body gets you back into your body. It's a great way to release stress. And every time I see our dogs, like everyone smile, like they just like, shake that like, you know, like,

Brad Crowell  

oh, yeah, just making sure

Lesley Logan  

If you're on YouTube watching YouTube, then you saw dododo,they do like, Have you ever watched them?

Brad Crowell  

They just flap thei ears, they shake, you know, they like to stimulate basically.

Lesley Logan  

You can see the energy go from the head to their tail. Like they just like, let it go. And we're like, let me keep it in. And I'm just gonna hold it in here. And I'm gonna keep it here. And I'm not going to share with anybody.

Brad Crowell  

Right? Yeah, I mean, definitely. It basically it's like a it's like a quick reset. And she was talking about how she leaves herself a few minutes between each client to dance and move and you know, actually, you know, push her the reset button for herself too. And that's something that's easy and free that we can take advantage of in our lives. 

Basically that, the, this is so funny because you know, not funny, but this is very connected to what Lesley does, Pilates, because movement releases stress. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

And also you guys, when you do breath work, that's a great another place to also shake it out. Just like she was just showing you like just shake. Just yeah, like just take your hands. I'm doing it in front the camera. Yeah. So how are you gonna use that tip in your life?

Brad Crowell  

Where are you going to shake?

Lesley Logan  

Where are you going to shake, shake, shake Senora shake it all the time. Anyways, I'm and this is just such a fun. I really wanted to have this for a long time because I just I know, I know ladies listening and a few good men like stress is real. And it's okay to have it from time to time. I hope what you got from this episode is you don't need to actually figure out the reasoning behind it. You can just go I'm stressed out right now. And you could shake it out. And then you can take some actions to do some things that will actually feel good. So what are those things that make you feel good? That's my, my I'm adding to the Be It Action Item. What makes you feel good? I love it. (Yeah). All right. I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell  

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan  

Thank you so much for joining us.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!     

Be It Till You See It is a production of Bloom Podcast Network.     

Brad Crowell  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan. And me Brad Crowell. Our associate producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.      

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.      

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Mesh Herico for creating all of our visuals, (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week, so you can.

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each episode, so you can find it on our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

What is stress holding you back from? Where is the stress coming from? Dr. Kelly joins the podcast to talk about stressors that we may be able to control and how to shake out stress to live a fully healthy life

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How to manage stress well
• Signs your body is stressed out
• Things to identify stressors and de-stress
• Under eating is contributing to your stress 
• Are you creating a story to contribute to the anxiety? 
• How to work through the emotions, so stress doesn’t hold you back 

BIO 

Dr. Bender is a California licensed Naturopathic Medical Doctor. As a graduate of Southwest College of Naturopathic Medicine, Dr. Bender is trained as an expert in natural medicine. After graduating summa cum laude with a Bachelor of Science in Pharmacology & Toxicology from the University at Buffalo and top of her class in medical school, she has continued her training in cutting edge therapies. Ketamine assisted therapy, regenerative medicine, bio-identical hormone replacement therapy and peptide therapy have been important additions to her practice to truly help individuals heal. She is passionate about helping individuals optimize their health so they can live their lives to the fullest. Dr. Bender believes it is important to understand the entire person in order to facilitate healing and offers each patient an individualized treatment plan to enhance their vitality. Dr. Bender enjoys teaching others, whether it be her patients or students at various medical schools. While she misses the fall weather back home in New York, she is happy to make Los Angeles her home.

Episode References/Links:

• The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks
• Dr. Kelly’s website

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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Hi, Be It babe. Okay, this is so fun. So what is actually really cool about this episode is I actually just got to see my guest in real life at the time of this recording, at the time this is coming out. It, I have no idea when that was. But what I'm so excited about is that Dr. Bender is one of the most amazing, smartest women that I ever know. And I love to chat with her about things I've heard on a podcast or a study I've read or whatever about medical science, all these things, and then she explains it because y'all there are so many things that can affect as being it till we see it. Like there just is and I know every once in a while I pop in a medical thing either to advocate for yourself or just information and that this is one of those episodes. So this episode, we are going to talk about stress. And we could have probably talked for hours, hours and hours about stress, signs and symptoms of stress, what stress is. We really did dive in, in a way that I think you can ac... you will actually use this right now in your daily life today. But I am telling you, I'm so fascinated about what came out towards the end about what can cause stress, and it is insane. And, and also like holy crap, we might be causing ourselves more stress, just trying to reason with ourselves. So what I hope you get out of this is that one, I want you to be it till you see it in all the ways in life that you can be. And that could actually like the if you're a perfectionist and overachiever that can actually cause some stress. But if you be it till you see it as a person who is achieving what you want, having the life you live with ease, ease in your life, that's this is the be it till I see it that I'm trying to do is have those things with ease. What a great, what a great way to practice being it till you see it is a no way of dealing with your stress in your body and in your life. And so you might be like, "Ah Les, my life is good. I got things going on but not stressed out." Please still listen, because a) there's some things you can share with people, right? I've got a few coaching calls this month, where we're really talking about ways that people can handle the stress that they're going through, because there's no way to avoid what they are going through. So how do we handle it. And also, you might not actually re... it might be recognizing that the signs and symptoms that you're feeling are because of stress, because you may have been going through them for so long. So I cannot wait to hear your takeaways about this. I'm really, really excited to have this guest back. If you have not heard her original episode, we talked a lot about hormones go back to that. Then when we ended, we had another topic that I'll have to bring her on with, that I'm really excited about so my team will remind me we'll bring her on because well she has a wealth of knowledge, she is the most smartest fucking woman I know. And there are several things in our bodies, in our lives and what makes us up as a human being that can affect us doing the things that we want to do in this lifetime that are that we are not aware of and if we are aware of them, we can take actions to allow and make accommodations for that. So my loves, here is Dr. Bender.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

All right, Be It babe. I'm so excited because I have one of my besties in life. And we've had her on the podcast before. So you'll reme... you'll recognize her voice if you've been a longtime listener. And almost first time caller, but y'all don't call in so. But I have Dr. Bender here and we, I was chatting with her on her first episode with us. And we didn't even get into stress. We got into all the thing about hormones and was amazing. But one of the things I talked to her a lot about is stress and something I have noticed in coaching a lot of businesses and also just teaching people Pilates in general, is that our goals tend to stress perfectionists out like crazy. So, so then these perf... so if you're a perfectionist, hello, I'm recovering one. And so I see you and I have I totally understand the stress of like your goals and like all the things you want to do in this life. And unfortunately, like some stress is very good. Like it's good for your bones. It's like good for a diamond, making a diamond, but it also can cause us some crazy trauma, stress, all the stuff that's redundant stress and stress. But Dr. Bender, welcome back. I'm so happy to have you here. And I, before we get into like why, you know, stress is bad, can we or can be bad? Can we talk about like who you are and what you actually do in the world? So people who don't know you yet can hear how you're so amazing.

Dr. Kelly Bender  

Absolutely. Well, thank you for having me back. I'm really, really excited to be here. And I think it's good timing to be talking about stress, and how that affects our body. And you know what our body actually does with the stress. So I am a Naturopathic Medical Doctor, I live in Los Angeles, California, I have a clinic here called Pure Vitality Rejuvenation Center. We're expanding and we're growing, which is exciting. And at our center, we really look at people as a whole, right? We're looking at your hormones and your gut and your mental health and all those things. We're looking at your nutrition and your habits and your diet and you know, all the different pieces and how that comes together to create health or disease, right. And so we do lab testing and things like that. I've over the last several years also gotten into a lot of mental health, with patients do some psychedelic work with patients, we refer out for lots of different options for people. And so stress over the last few years in the pandemic has really become a focus of mine, partially because that's just what everyone is needing right now.

Lesley Logan  

Right. I mean, like, I think we're all a little bit on an interesting level of stress. And especially when you live in LA, there's just the daily stress of surviving life in a city that drives that should be on strains. But then, like you've layer on a pandemic of uncertainty and all those changes and all that stuff. And something that I admire about you is like I've we've known each other for so many years, and I've watched you grow your business, as you mentioned you're expanding. And, you know, it's not that you don't ever have stress in your life, but you somehow know how to manage it well. And I think that is something we'll have to get into. But can we talk about like what maybe like maybe some people are so stressed out they don't even know what non stressed out is like, can we talk about signs and symptoms that you're stressed out just for the people who might be like, "I'm not stressed." And they're like, act like their families like, "She's so stressed."

Dr. Kelly Bender  

Yeah. It's so interesting, I had this conversation with a friend of mine who's also a doctor. And so often we've been habituated to feel like this is normal, right. And stress can show up in a lot of different ways for a lot of different people. Sometimes it shows up as skin conditions. So when people are really stressed out, sometimes they can have, you know, like rashes or skin issues. GI symptoms, right are really, really related to stress oftentimes, and so it can range anything from chronic diarrhea, constipation, not being hungry. This is like one of the big things. I have women come in all the time, and they're like, "I wake up, and I'm not hungry, and I don't have to eat till two o'clock." You're not hungry, because your body is in fight or flight, not rest and digest, right? Even when you're sleeping, you're stressed out, we'll talk about cortisol and all those hormone components, but you're not hungry, because your body is stressed out and isn't able to digest and your digestion is not running smoothly. It can have hormone, you know impacts. So anything from weight gain, irregular menstrual cycles, you know, spotting things like that? headaches, muscle tightness, right, so like clenching your jaw is a big one that we just don't always think about, because it's so habitual, right, tight shoulders. It's really interesting to me, when patients come in, they really don't even know that they have these symptoms, because they're so dissociated from their body. And this, I would say, is a really difficult symptom to pinpoint yourself. But it's probably one of the bigger, simpler things, right? People are so out of touch with their body, they're literally dissociated from it. So they say, "Oh, I don't feel pain. Oh, I feel fine." And you start digging a little bit more, and they're not registering their discomfort, but it doesn't mean that their body isn't experiencing pain, or abnormalities or things like that. They're just so stressed. They don't ...

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, it's like, our, our bodies are so good at protecting us that it can protect us from ourselves. Like, it's such a crazy thing to think about. But I some of those symptoms you brought up I find, you know, I think so many people can go, "Oh, I just ate something bad" or "Oh, I'm allergic to that," or "Oh, what I wonder what I ate because it didn't sit well with me." And it's like, okay, how long because when I was with my stomach issues, what I realized is actually, sometimes the things that you're upsetting your stomach are from, like three days ago, so it's so it's actually not you just ate in this moment. So if you're having that reaction, it might actually be because you're stressed.

Dr. Kelly Bender  

Well, and then, you know, some of the biggest ones are poor sleep, changes in your mood. So, you know, people don't always know I think I think a lot of people know, like, "Oh, I'm not sleeping well, and I'm worried about something." But sometimes I have patients come in and they're like, "I'm I'm not stressed at all. But I'm not sleeping well. And I'm fatigued. And I have to rely on coffee to get up in the morning." And you know, all those all those things?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Yeah. And I I also wonder, like we think I think we are also thinking like stress is something that is easy to pinpoint. We know why we're stressed out. It's because there's something stressful happening in the moment as opposed to like, chronic, like, just living in an uncertain world for two years with your kids at home and having to change, you know, your entire lifestyle, and then change it back and then be unsure if you did it right. And you know, all that stuff. So like, all that stuff is just like, it's almost like a little layer. It's like a warming a frog up and up on a pot. You don't even notice that you you're hit stress too much. Can stress can stress, um, is there any kind of stress that's actually okay for us to have? Are we supposed to like try to be zen all the time?

Dr. Kelly Bender  

Great question. So I think the word stress is really interesting. And I use that sometimes with patients, especially when when I'm talking about hormones or GI function. I'll say like, oh, there are these stressors on the body. And patients immediately when they think of stress, think of like mental emotional stress or anxiety. And while while there's probably some benefit to short bursts of even mental emotional stress, right? If something is stressing you out from a mental emotional standpoint, to me, that's an indicator that that's something that's important to you. And maybe that's a boundary, right. So if you're stressed out about something, maybe that's because somebody's pushing your boundary and really, you should be holding that boundary. Right. Or, you know, there's other benefits to sort of acute stressors. Same thing with the body. So, you know, with exercise, I have a lot of women that come in more pre pandemic than then post but pre pandemic, I would have a lot of women come in, who are having hormone issues, trouble losing weight, fertility issues. And one of the stressors that we talked about, one of the stressors on the body was, they were actually working out too much. They would be doing like intense intense workouts 5 6 7 times a day, right or seven times a week, you know, sometimes doubling up doing like 10 in a week. And they weren't fueling their body enough. So they were also like in a calorie deficit. And those are actually stressors on the body. Fasting is a stressor on the body, hold is a stressor on the body. And those things have benefit when you do them in particular ways for short amounts of time. Right? (Lesley: Right.) So ...

Lesley Logan  

Like I'm gonna do a two minute cold shower in the morning, (Dr. Kelly Bender: Right.) but I'm not taking, I'm not I'm not sitting in a cold pool for the day.

Dr. Kelly Bender  

Exactly, exactly. And so human bodies actually do really well, when we have these little stressors, right? When we when we get not even little stressors, but acute short acting stressors, right? Adrenaline comes from our adrenal glands. That's why it's called adrenaline. The other name for adrenaline is epinephrine. Right? So those are the same molecule. You know, you see on movies, somebody has like, like, has died. And they take the EpiPen, and they like jab it into their heart, right? And they give them adrenaline and then like ... adrenaline, right? Adrenaline is this fast acting, short lived molecule in your body, where if somebody cuts you off in traffic, or you see a bear in nature, you have this flood of this hormone that's supposed to help you get very focused, very clear, very present. And get out of that situation. That's adaptive, right? But if you are constantly living in a state of these, these sort of, you know, there's bears all around you and you're living with these bears for 10 years, and the bears are actually your bosses at work, but you have that same response. Then instead of epinephrine or adrenaline being the main driver, cortisol becomes the main driver. And this is, this puts like weight around our middles cortisol, prolonged stress of any kind, whether it's emotional, or physical stressors, actually shrinks our brain. (Lesley: Stop it.) It's crazy. It actually shrinks our brain like the white matter in our brain. They've done imaging like an actually atrophies certain parts of our brain, specifically, the ones that are associated with like memory, emotions, some of our ... (Lesley: This is crazy.) functioning ...

Lesley Logan  

So it's that like I mean, I don't put you on the spot. But like, is that what's happening? Like, is that a correlation to Alzheimer's and dementia going up? Like as we don't know that yet?

Dr. Kelly Bender  

We don't, I don't know that we know that specifically, I would say maybe dementia, and certainly some of some of what we experience as older people. And a lot of my patients in their 40s and 50s are exhibiting signs and symptoms that we would associate with like early Alzheimer's and early dementia, but it's not it's just the cortical atrophy. Alzheimer's and dementia are multifactorial, there's probably so now they're calling Alzheimer's, type three diabetes. There's a ... yeah, (Lesley: That's so crazy.) crazy. So there's a really big metabolic component with sugar and sugar utilization in the brain, which probably does stem from in some part, cortisol and stress hormones. Because cortisol changes how your body metabolizes sugar, it stores fat, you're less likely to be able to utilize sugar well. So there there absolutely may be a correlation and they probably don't make each other better.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So this is so this is so interesting, because I do have I remember when I when I lived in LA, and I'm sure it still exists in other cities, not just there, but I, I would see these women who had go to two or three workouts a day, they were in that calorie deficit. And it is not healthy. It's not healthy for I would watch their skin. It was like all these things that they're like, well, now I got to do this because my skin is like this. It's like well, it's not supposed to work out like that. And the other thing is like what we have also learned is that like women's workout should not look like men. So you can't you're not doing two days with the dudes, we have different hormones, we have different things and so we have to be more diligent about listening to our body and also giving it what it needs when it needs it. And we can't do that. So stressed out or disassociated from our own body to know what it needs. (Dr. Kelly Bender: Exactly.) So, okay, what ... Because you're not our doctor for every single person who's listening, what are, so what what are the rules and the rules of where you can, you know, give advice here? What are some things people can do to identify stress and then also like de stress, like, what can they ...

Dr. Kelly Bender  

Yeah, literally so, you know, the little disclaimer is, I am not your doctor if you're listening, or maybe I am, and if you're my patient, hello. But for the majority of you, I'm not your doctor. So consult your doctor, before you do anything. That's just like a little disclaimer. So stress, I would say we break down, I break down stress into sort of two main categories, which is physical stressors, and then sort of psychological emotional stressors. (Lesley: Okay.) Physical stressors are like we talked about fasting or calorie deficit, exercise, cold, extreme cold, extreme heat, those things, when done in a certain way can be really beneficial. But again, when done in an unhealthy way, not good for the body. So a lot of the research is coming out. Previously, there was very little research on intermittent fasting for women who were still menstruating. All the research was done in either men or postmenopausal women. And so there's a lot of menstruating women who saw the research didn't realize that they weren't part of that study, started doing it. And that's probably not great, a great stressor for hormones and for cortisol and those types of things. Certainly, during certain parts of your cycle, probably not ideal. Like you talked about doing short, short, cold exposures, right. So up to a few minutes, is actually really good for the body, doing hot exposures for short amounts of time, good for the body. Not sleeping is a huge physiologic stressor. So you know, identifying where maybe some of your habits or things are not optimal prioritizing sleep, you know, rest and recovery, if you're if you're exercising, not being careful not to over exercise, you know, not to significantly under eat prioritizing proteins, things like that, sort of fall under that physical physiologic stressor.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. I think a lot of people don't realize how they might actually be under eating, or at least under eating in the certain nutrients. Like, even my own father, he was trying to lose some weight and, and he's like, "I'm not eating that much food." And I'm like, "I think that's the problem." (Dr. Kelly Bender: That is the problem.) That you're not eating enough for how active you are. And so your body is holding on to everything, because it's so freaked out. So can we get you some more books, like, let's just spend a week just looking at what you're eating and just seeing what days you're consistently under eating. So we can figure that out?

Dr. Kelly Bender  

Yep. And the timing of what of when you're eating. So keeping blood sugar regulated, keeping blood sugar stable, makes it so that all of your hormones, like your cortisol, your ghrelin, your leptin, your your glucagon, like all of those things aren't fluctuating and going crazy, because you can be under eating. So here's the thing, you can be under eating calories most days, and then on the weekend, you're like, oh, you know, I eat a normal amount of calories or a little bit more. And, and because overall, you're having more calories than you need at certain times, your body is going to store that. Right. (Lesley: Right.) So so making sure that you are eating enough for what you're trying to do with your body. But visceral fat specifically, is really hormonally driven. So even if you're under eating, but your cortisol is high, you're you're just going to have a really hard time especially getting rid of that visceral fat.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. That's the dangerous stuff anyways.

Dr. Kelly Bender  

That's the dangerous stuff. You're probably going to start breaking down muscle or not being able to gain muscle. So there's all those those pieces. So just being aware, right of, of what do I need. And I know this sounds cliche, but mindfulness, right, just getting back into your body, doing any sort of activities that gets you back in touch with your body. I love dancing, like I just, I that's always been a thing that I love. And it really puts me back in touch with my body and so, so I'll do like dance classes or, or I'll just take 10 minutes in between patients and have a little dance party to bring me back down into my body. That oftentimes, two things one, it's again going to help you if you are slightly disassociated and not in touch with your body. And two, oftentimes those sorts of activities are, are stress relieving in and of themselves, right? (Lesley: Yeah.) So mindfulness meditation, just focusing on your breath is an attempt to get you reconnected to your body.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. And what I love about those suggestions are like, mostly free, like you can, (Dr. Kelly Bender: Mostly free.) you can, you can turn on free music probably somewhere and dance to it. And it can be the same song every day, you know, until you need a new one. And you can just sit and intentionally think about your breathing because that's not something we have to intentionally do all the time. That's so so you mentioned like the physical signs of stressors and like some things there. There's also I think, the mental there's another stress, yeah.

Dr. Kelly Bender  

You know like mental, emotional, psychosocial, whatever you want to call what a lot of people when they think of stress, that's what they're thinking of, right? They're thinking of symptoms of anxiety, racing thoughts being nervous or worried or anxious about things that are happening. And so it's really interesting. Two things I'll say about that. One, very often in humans, we we are storytellers, humans are storytellers. We are meaning makers. We like to know what that thing means in our life. And so oftentimes, people have physical reactions that feel like stress. So one of the big ones is actually histamine. So histamine is like if you have seasonal allergies, you know (Lesley: Yeah.) about histamines. Right. (Lesley: Yeah.) Histamine is a is something that our immune system produces, that can produce rashes, itchy, itchy eyes, runny nose, congestion, like all of the signs of like seasonal allergies. Histamine, when it gets into the brain, makes you feel anxious. racing heart, it can give you stomach issues, all of these things. And so sometimes people just have a histamine reaction, because they've come in contact with something that releases histamine. Unfortunately, chocolate can be a trigger sometimes. There are these high histamine foods. But I'm seeing this a lot post COVID. People's histamine trigger is just, it's just a hair trigger, (Lesley: Wow!) where before things didn't bother them at all. Now they're having anxiety, they're having trouble sleeping, they're getting some rashes, but their body feels, right. (Lesley: Right.) They just they know like, they've drink coffee all day long ...

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. That's crazy because ... to be like mindful breath work, and you're just doing this thing like, I don't know what's wrong with me. And it's like, actually, there's no it's just the ... the histamine is histamine, your brain, we got to get that out.

Dr. Kelly Bender  

... of your brain. And the crazier thing is, most often humans will make up a reason that they're anxious. Right? So they feel ... (Lesley: Oh, we have to ...) they feel anxious in their body, from the histamine from whatever it is they they feel anxious, their heart is racing, right. And they don't attribute it to a high histamine food that they consumed, or the fact that they came in contact with a cat because they don't always necessarily get like, allergies that we think of allergies, but the histamines in the brain, and so they feel anxious. And then they're like, oh, I started feeling anxious when I started, they just happened to be thinking about going to work. This is all subconscious, right. But your brain says, oh, you started feeling this way when you started thinking about this thing. This thing is making you feel that way. And then you start coming up with reasons, oh, I'm anxious because maybe I'm thinking my boss is going to be mean like you actually attribute meaning where there is no meaning.

Lesley Logan  

So then you just start telling yourself a story. And so now your poor boss has done nothing to cause you stress. You think your boss is calling to do stress, and it's never gonna go away. Because you have histamine.

Dr. Kelly Bender  

And then here's the here's the here's the even crazier part, if that histamine goes away, but you have had that same thought pattern so many times, you will actually train your brain to become anxious when thinking about that topic.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, I believe that gets to habit because there's you there's, yes, that's how habits are created. Like we create them based on emotions in the brain, it releases something so now oh, and what's so crazy is people could be like leaving partners or jobs that had nothing to do with. Oh, my God.

Dr. Kelly Bender  

So we literally then train our brain that this thing or this person or this situation was making us anxious. And then let's say you stop eating that food or you get out of that environment. You're no longer triggered with the histamine, the histamine goes away. But you've actually reprogrammed your brain to have an anxious reaction to that topic.

Lesley Logan  

So why we need everyone needs to take Byron Katie's Four Questions instead of trying to make meaning. Just ask yourself, "How do I know this is real?"

Dr. Kelly Bender  

Right. Absolutely. And so it's been really wild, especially post COVID. Like I said, I've seen so many people have this, you know, hair trigger on their histamine. There is a supplement. And I'm not recommending anyone take this supplement. This is just for educational purposes. But there is a supplement called DAO, which is a I think it's diamino oxidase, but it's the enzyme that actually breaks down histamine in your body. So anti histamine medication blocks histamine from docking at the receptors. But there's tons of different histamine receptors in the body, there's h1, h2, there's like all these different ones. And it only blocks it in some of these places. And it doesn't necessarily block the places that make you feel anxious. So in some people it does, some people it doesn't. But if you take an anti histamine and you're like, "I'm so anxious, and now I'm tired." It doesn't mean that it's not the histamine. (Lesley: Right.) It could be that the histamine wasn't blocked at the proper receptor from the medication. (Lesley: Right.) So DAO is an enzyme that actually eats up and breaks down the histamine faster. It's like taking a lactaid pill if you're lactose intolerant.

Lesley Logan  

Got it. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So we shouldn't just go out and run out and take the supplement, because you actually probably don't want to block histamine, unnecessarily.

Dr. Kelly Bender  

I mean, there's low risk to it, but like, talk to your doctor, you know, (Lesley: Yeah.) your doctor kind of a thing. (Lesley: Yeah.) But it is, it's, it's really interesting.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. That is so crazy. So then I love for talking about this. Because at the beginning of this, before we recorded, like, it was like, how can we, like people understand that stress is could be, either they could be stressing themselves out to become the next person. Or now that we've heard about histamine, we could be telling ourselves an entire story. We're just keeping us from being it till we see.

Dr. Kelly Bender  

Completely. I would say that it's actually a another reason to be it till you see it is because what you're feeling and what you're attributing it to, may actually not be correlated. Right? It you may be thinking, "Oh, I'm anxious about doing this podcast, because because I actually have impostor syndrome, and all these things." But your brain is just coming up with a reason that seems rational, (Lesley: Yeah.) why your body's having a certain response.

Lesley Logan  

That's so, wow, it's, it's so cra... It's so crazy.

Dr. Kelly Bender  

Like, you can be like, "Okay, I made like, my body feels anxious." But that is one of the biggest thing is like, let your body have whatever response it's having to move energy through. So my Tantra coach, (Lesley: Yeah.) one of the things we work on is emotions and worried is an emotion and you know, stressors and things like that. (Lesley: Yeah.) They're just energy in the body, let it move through. Don't hold try to hold on to them. Don't come up with a story about why you're sad, why you're angry. Discharge that, that emotion and that energy and that feeling. (Lesley: Yeah.) Then see what happens. Because most of the time we come up with a reason why our body feels the way they are. It's irrelevant.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Oh, that is so key. And it made me think of a couple things. So I just want to touch on this, y'all just you can move it out. Like you can just identify it like I'm feeling this way. And like, I don't, you don't have to go I wonder why it's just like I'm feeling this way, period. And then like, but also not to mask it because that's going to cause more stress. So my favorite annual read is The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks and he talks about those like seven signs that you are upper limiting yourself so when you upper limiting yourself it's because you stepped outside of your comfort zone and you're kind of in your niche like you're in your flow of what's coming up next, right. It's that new thing that you've been wanting to have, that new schedule, that new job or that new relationship. Whatever it is and you're like you're like in it and it like feel so good and then your brains like, fuck this scares me I don't actually know where we're turning left yet. I actually don't know where the death. I don't there's too many unknowns come back. And the way that he gets his comeback is through worry, self deprecation, picking fights. You get sick, like you literally just start getting sick. So there's these things and what is so interesting is now that I'm thinking about a lot of them are stressful feeling in the body. So you could be literally stressing yourself out to hold yourself back.

Right. Or you could hold yourself back by just having a feeling of stress or unease in your body that is completely unrelated to the thing you're holding yourself back from. So holding yourself back won't even alleviate that anxiety. Because it's like, okay, you got to stop eating that food, you have to, you know, get an air purifier in your house, you know, whatever it is.

Yeah, so fascinating. Okay, I mean, gosh, I love you. And I could keep talking to forever. But I feel like, what I hope everyone listening is that you got to really understand it like different ways we can cause stress on ourselves in a way that is not helpful. And then, and then identifying it is just the actual feeling versus making meaning out of it is the most important to identify and skip the meaning part, go make meaning of like, why the sky is blue, you know? Find another non stressful way to make meaning in life. We're gonna come back and just quick second, find out where people can find you, follow you know more about what you're doing in this planet, and also your BE IT action items. (Dr. Kelly Bender: Great.) All right, Dr. Bender, where do you hang out? Where can people if they were in the area, where can they work with you?

Dr. Kelly Bender  

Yes. So Pure Vitality Rejuvenation Center in Brentwood, Los Angeles. You can go to purevitalitycenter.com. And check us out on the website. We're we're going to be starting to do TikTok. I'm super excited. We're gonna sort of restart our social media presence. We're also opening up in West Hollywood. So we'll be there. Go go online, check it out. There's lots of interesting things. I'll be making some content. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So I can't wait for your medical TikTok. I really am excited. Because I feel like I'm gonna learn something more, when I'll actually open up my TikTok app. And you know what? I just have to say, y'all, if you are in either of those areas, you got to go in because talk about like, making meaning and causing stress. I went in to your offices when I was in LA, to get an IV because I was like, gosh, I just I'm like I'm feeling a little under the weather like, but I was like, I can't be sick. Maybe I felt like this because this is going on, maybe I feel like this is because this is going on. Got the IV and I'm like no dehydrated, lack of nutrition wasn't doing my normal morning routine for three weeks. So there's nothing to make meaning of. I just needed my body just needed nutrition. (Dr. Kelly Bender: ... needed the things.) Yes. (Dr. Kelly Bender: Yeah.) So so BE IT action items. I'm really happy to have you on. Y'all last time, I don't want to like, you know, I have no idea what she's gonna say. But I just wanted to say to all of you her last BE IT action item when she was on shift to listen that show we'll put it in the show notes below. One of our listeners reported back that she did it and she made money doing it. So just saying these BE IT action items if you actually use them, they're very beneficial.

Dr. Kelly Bender  

Yeah, I was gonna I don't know how to follow that one up, right? Like if I was ... that was like the best my best action item. Yeah, I would say my action item for for this one, especially like stress related and things like that is, if you can, if you can do any sort of presence, body, like getting back into your body. So you know, so movements, great Pilates, dance, any of those things, sort of like get back into your body, I think doing that and then reassessing, like, "Is this my body feeling this way and just letting it discharge." Right. So sometimes shaking is a really, really, really helpful way to just discharge energy. So just like your whole body, just like shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake. And that can just discharge whatever that emotion or energy is.

Lesley Logan  

You know, I love that it's true. Like, you can just like, you know, let it out, let the anxiety out, let that out. I mean, not that we're dogs, but like, my dogs will like stretch when they want to stretch. And then all of a sudden, they'll just be like saying, like, shake whatever is happening to them. I'm like, they know what, they just do it. They don't ask permission. They just do what they're feeling. We should all do that. It's gonna be okay, no one's gonna like what does that person doing? Trust me, they're so busy trying to make meaning of whatever stressors in their life, they're not paying attention to you.

Dr. Kelly Bender  

I can't tell you how many patients like I'll see them and they're just I see them sitting like this. Right? And I'm like, Are you okay? I'm fine. There so disconnected. That's like, Okay, we're gonna we're gonna shake together. Right. And then doing it together. It's cool. And then they're completely like, it just changes the whole thing. So, yeah, if you're feeling if you're feeling anything, shake.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I love that. I love it. I love you. You're so amazing. I learned so much being around you and y'all how are you going to use these tips, this information in your life. We want to know. Tag Dr. Bender, tag at the @be_it_pod. Let us know if you have questions about this, send it to the @be_it_pod. Brad and I can answer things on the recap episode and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!  

Be It Till You See It is a production of Bloom Podcast Network.   

Brad Crowell  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan. And me Brad Crowell. Our associate producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.    

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.   

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Mesh Herico for creating all of our visuals, (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week, so you can.  

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each episode, so you can find it on our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Coming off of a great conversation with Joe Casciani, Brad and Lesley, recap the ways to help you live to 100! Joe brings timeless strategies and inspiration to keep you feeling your best self despite what your age wants to tell you. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How to look at aging from a new perspective 
• The characteristics of resilient people 
• Behavior change for a longer life 
• How to look at aging as a positive
• Stories that prove age is only a number.
• Cognitive embodiment to live longer

BIO : 

Psychologist with a specialty in older adults. I focus on strategies to aging well and managing whatever events get in the way. Expertise also in psychological/cognitive issues with older adults, including depression and dementia.

Episode References/Links:

• Living to 100 Website
• Email Joe Casciani: [email protected]

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host and my Brad and I are going to talk about the ageless convo I had with Joe Casciani in our last episode. If you haven't listened to that one yet, feel free to pause this now go back and listen to that one. And then come back and join us or listen to this one and go listen that way. Do what you want to do. Go go wherever you want. You could start from beginning. Start from number one.

Brad Crowell  

Start from number one. This is the only episode 181. So (only) you're gonna get there.

Lesley Logan  

Do you know I found this one podcast on episode 74. And it was they kept referring back to an episode and another time. So I literally went back to the number one and worked my way through. 

Brad Crowell  

Very impressed.

(I know... and then when) Did you listen on like three times speed?

Lesley Logan  

No, just my regular 1.5 speed and also did it on the road trip. So yeah. And I became an expert (I'm impressed) in the topic so you know, 10,000 hours. I mean it wasn't but it felt close. Anyways, that's (74) 74 minimum. So anyways, you guys, we're currently on the flashcard the flashcard pre sell for the chairs and so

Brad Crowell  

(that means) flashcard presale for the chairs. 

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, the flashcard pre sell for the chairs. See sell seashells demo sure.

Brad Crowell  

Flashcards 

Lesley Logan  

I've been having a little bit of trouble with some words lately. I'm gonna figure that out. But anyways, if you didn't know about that presale it's because you weren't on the waitlist, period in the story. (That's right). That's how it goes. You want to be on waitlist for things because people on the waitlist good to get deals, they get better options, better prices first dibs, all the things.

Brad Crowell  

Just like if you haven't, if haven't heard, we're changing the way that we're we're selling things. Yeah, well if you would like to be in the know, you got to join the waitlist.

Lesley Logan  

We're starting a new trend here and we. If you want to hear how to do this for your own business, that's what agency is for and there's waitlist for that somewhere at any weight.

Brad Crowell  

We will have a link in the notes about the waitlist for the flashcards and for agency mini

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. And so when will these be shipping? you'll probably want to know well barring off supply chains, hurricanes. And you know, atmospheric rivers, May, June.

Brad Crowell  

Well, right now it's the end of February, right? So basically, two and a half months.

Lesley Logan  

it's pre hurricane season is what I'm going for. I didn't realize that I had to, like, include supply chains and hurricane seasons when I create deadlines for things. So we know that now, we're doing that, we know that. And we are with your listeners in real time. We are two days away from a Mexico vacation. Oh my gosh, you guys, I'm so excited. It's gonna be nice. You see stuff happen on the socials going to be honest, it's because someone's doing it for me, because I, I'm gonna go to like, 2001 time, like when you just you only could get on MySpace, (oh)

Brad Crowell  

I'm gonna be social mediing the hell out of our food that we're gonna eat.

Lesley Logan  

So you don't even you don't even have social media. Anyways, we're going on vacation, we highly recommend you do that for yourself. The podcasts will still be dropping, (all the things), all the things are happening, but but if you don't have a vacation plan for this year, and I know that vacations can sound extremely like privileged. So I do understand like money is a thing. But just take just put it out of office day and do a staycation which I know sounds boring and whatever. But also, you know, BLM land is free to do things. So you guys find there's BLM land, wherever you are. Brad tell them what BLM is

Brad Crowell  

Bureau of Land Management. (Yeah, so you can) 

Lesley Logan  

You can do a lot of fun stuff and BLM land by the way,

Brad Crowell  

you can like blow shit up, if you wanted to even do that. (We didn't Don't)

Lesley Logan  

quote us if anything happens to you because of the feds. But at any rate, you can, I'm just I do not want to be your your buddy, you call a friend of mine.

Brad Crowell  

I was north of Joshua Tree. So Joshua Tree National Park. And the BLM land is basically the land that nobody wants, because there's nothing there. It's just nothing. And so it ended up in the Bureau of Land Management, their responsibility, but there's nothing to do to it, because they don't do anything to it. There aren't there are hardly even roads in some places, but just north of Joshua Tree is whole bunch of BLM land. And you can go like they host festivals out there, sometimes all sorts of stuff. And I went out there with my friends, because you can actually, it's a little different with this, like my my buddy's a drone pilot, right? So he's allowed to operate a drone. And you can't do it over federal airspace because it's illegal. So you go to different places where you don't, you don't have to worry about it. And we were camping in Joshua Tree, but you cannot fly a drone in the National Park. (Do not do that) So we went just north of the National Park, the BLM land where we can fly drone, no problem. So you do all sorts of fun

Lesley Logan  

stuff. We didn't even know anything about drones, or that but I am gonna say it's just a reminder, this whole tangent happened because I want to go on vacation more. So yeah, so I also took off like just random extra days in January, just for my birthday, for the fuck of it. And I have to, I'm telling you, it feels even more delightful to do it when you're supposed to be working. Because you're like everybody's working, but I'm at the spa, and you deserve it. You don't need a reason to do it, you don't have a reward. And to work hard for this. You just need to be a human being who deserves some time for themselves. So (I also)

Brad Crowell  

think that it's a muscle. And I say that because I'm really bad at exercising it for myself. The reality (you're terrible at it). The reality is if you don't schedule time for yourself, you never will.

Lesley Logan  

He literally has to go to BLM land where there's no signal to go on vacation. (Yeah).

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, I'll just work seven days a week. I just keep going, keep going.

Lesley Logan  

I hung out read a book on a day off that was supposed to work day on my PMF mat with my red light reading a book and it was delightful and I binge out on a documentary. Anyways,

Brad Crowell  

we did take Saturday's off the past two Saturdays and that was actually refreshing and honestly I felt a little guilty on one of the Saturdays. But it was also like I need to get over that. (Yeah, well)

Lesley Logan  

it is our day off. So supposed to be. Last thing I'm going to tell you is it's getting close to the time where I'm going to cut off anybody being able to apply for elevate round three mentorship program. So if this is something you're wanting, I only have a couple spots left for the third round. And I'm just going to tell you I'm just gonna dangle this little carrot I've already planned a retreat for the alumni

Brad Crowell  

Oh year (included) for 2024. Yes.  

Lesley Logan  

And I made sure (Brad: breaking news) Round Three could actually attend to this retreat. So if you're like oh my gosh I want to be on applies retreat with LL in Vegas. This is the only way to do it. You've been able to get alumni which means you to sign up for round three. So you go to Lesleylogan.co/elevate (Yes). And you can apply, check it out. We only take 12 people per round. We're midway through round two already round one people are already Jonesy about this retreat. I told them today. Oh, I did. I was like, Oh my gosh, you guys. Save the date. And they, and they are losing their minds. Anyways. Okay, that's all. Um, now before we get into Joe, do we have an audience question?

Brad Crowell  

Yes, we did. So I read that you do Pilates every single day? How many minutes do you do each day? (Lesley: isn't that fun?) Yeah, it's a great question. I mean, you know, we get kind of hit up about a lot of Pilates questions on the gram, for obvious reasons. So but this one I thought was, was helpful, because I know how, first off, I have had an opportunity to work with a bunch of teachers, and teachers end up not teaching for the same exact reason that we are practicing. That's what I meant, sorry, teachers end up not practicing for the same exact reason that I just talked about not taking time off. They don't leave time for themselves in their schedule to maintain the practice. And so they may feel guilty about us this whole thing. So, But Lesley, I know, you have been incredibly intentional about that. So can you talk about that? (Yeah. So)

Lesley Logan  

I protect my time to do my practice. My other kinds of workouts like it is, life or death. Because, because it is, I'm going to be really honest, it is, you might not die because you don't do pilates. But if you are teaching fitness, or you're teaching something, and you're not doing the thing that got you so passionate about it, and that you've made it wanted to teach it, you become resentful of people, you become exhausted, you start snapping, your relationships suffer, and you suffer. And oh, by the way, you burn out (Brad: and your teaching suffers). But it really does. If you're wondering why your clients are not referring new people, it's because you're not excited. Here's what one of my teachers said to me. 15 years ago, when I first started, she said, if you're bored, your clients are bored. And that doesn't mean you need to come up with new exercises all the time, because I teach the order, y'all I teach the same shit every day, all day long. But you get bored when you are not being curious, in your own practice, whatever that practice is, yoga, bar, anything like that. So I do to answer your question. During the week, for sure I do at least 15 minutes, up to 30 minutes daily, and then two times a week, I will hit an hour. And that's because I scheduled the hour. Typically the other days that (or, you're taking a session), I'm taking a session for my own teachers why that happened. The other days, when I'm on my own, it's mixed into strength training that I do. So I'll do like my walk, maybe I bike or I do some strength training, and then I do my Pilates, or vice versa. And, and I meditate. So it's kind of in my morning routine. And I always have a few exercises that I love to start with just to see what my body is craving what it needs. But I often know just from the night before his workout, like what was a struggle. And so I kind of just get curious about that. But um, what I would just say is like, first of all, no one says you have to do a 55 minute session to do Pilates, like (or any workout) or any workout whatsoever. Any amount of minutes of movement is better than no minutes of movement. And...

Brad Crowell  

I mean, we ran an entire program called Full Body in 15. 

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I think people can get that for free if they want. Yeah!

Brad Crowell  

Just go to onlinepilatesclasses.com, It's in the free tools and free resources.

Lesley Logan  

So go there and grab that. But if you do five of those minutes every day, you already fucking won. So anyways, that's my daily practice. It really does help me kind of settle the anxiety because sometimes I just wake up and I'm so excited. I'm so excited for the day that I literally create anxiety about getting it all done.

Brad Crowell  

We are so incredibly opposite. (We really are) You are like yeah, it's a new day. I'm like why am I awake right now?

Lesley Logan  

Like oh my god, I get all the stuff done in this one day. How am I going to get all of that done in one day? And then I get it all done. And I'm like, oh, what else can I do? So anyways...

Brad Crowell  

Amazing.

Lesley Logan  

I hope that helps you guys I love answering your questions. You can send them to me on the gram you can send them to me anywhere you can tag me to be honest. And ask your question. We want to answer, it can be about life, fitness business, whatever, the purpose of this podcast is to help you Be It Till You See It. So if we can answer your question helps you get there. We want to.

Alright, now let's talk about Joe Casciani, Joe celebrates aging and living to 100 years old. As a psychologist specializing in older adults, he brings strategies that are crucial to aging well, and inspires individuals to overcome the hurdles keeping them from living their best lives.

Okay, so I'm gonna jump in first, because I love that he talked about there's different ways to define your age, he had a chronological age, which is your actual age. Hello, I'm 40 and fabulous. (Brad: Yes, you are) functional age, is his movement. By the way, you guys, I have taught in my lifetime, little kids who are so tight, they're like, they're more inflexible than my less flexible, I should say that way. less flexible than my, like, 60 year old clients, and and vice versa. So like, you know, it just functional age is important. And...

Brad Crowell  

I think, what was that isn't the quote from Joe Pilates that you're only as young as your spine is.

Lesley Logan  

You are only as young as your spine is old. And then also, FYI, just if you're like, I don't know that Joe knows what it's talking about. Because, you know, he was probably a carny boxer who lied about a lot of things. And that was

Brad Crowell  

He's basically talking about functionally.

Lesley Logan  

He's talking about age and also they had scientific studies that show if you can not get down on the floor and stand back up without having to use your, your hands and extra equipment, it takes 30 years off your age

Brad Crowell  

30? (Yeah.) 30? (I'm almost positive), we're gonna look it up. But it definitely takes time off your age.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, you'll die sooner if you can't get on down off the ground,

Brad Crowell  

We're gonna find that study. And we'll include that in the show.

Lesley Logan  

Because it's because people like, you just get unhealthy because you don't get up out of the, out to the bathroom. So you're like living in, you know, like, anyways, a lot of things going on there. So.

Brad Crowell  

So that's like, I know, actually, you incorporate that into the mat practice. You're standing, sitting at the beginning of the end of something my yoga teacher likes to do, too.

Lesley Logan  

I watch my father and try to see how he does like how he gets off the ground. You guys, he used to have to like when he started working out with our trainer, he used to have to like be next to a pole to grab a pole. That's true. Use both hands, get himself up. And now (he's also on a two knee surgeries) had two knee surgeries. And he's 70, but he now can do burpees and he just jumps into the splits. And he walks his hands back to his feet. He's really like, he's been really good about getting up and I'm like, yes, you're gonna live to 90. (Yeah)

Brad Crowell  

I think I think the other you know, it's, it's also like that the last little bit before you sit, like do you plop you know, like, because a lot of people they just let it all go and they crash into a chair. 

Lesley Logan  

Notice how you sit into a chair or toilet.

Brad Crowell  

As well, although, sometimes that you may actually feel that a little bit more than a chair

Lesley Logan  

But we are so disassociated, Brad they are not but anyways, you'll hear it you'll break if you broke your toilet seat, you plop that just so just so you know, biological age how the body is aging, this is also really huge. One of the studies I had done on my bloodwork, the guy found that my veins work had like little cracks in them (Brad: interesting). And so even though at the time I was 33 years old, my veins were doing things that shouldn't happen till I was older. So even though I could run, so I had like a functional age that was really young. And my chronic logical age was young, my biological age was not, it is better now. And then finally your psychological age, how you see yourself, you guys are so you know, when people say I look so I make 40 look good. I know. I do know, I do know. (Brad: My wife) So um, so it's really these are all really important ages and so I just love that he broke that down because I think what you guys can do at home as your listeners is just like ask yourself okay, my chronicling my chronological age is x i can't change that. But what is your functional age? Is it... Do you feel like it's your age? Or do you feel like it's younger? The goal younger on the functional age always feels strong to biological age, does it feel like it's yours? Or does it feel like it's older or younger and then psychological.

Brad Crowell  

Biological isn't actually how you feel. It's I would say as your functional the biological would be like, you know is your your skin, your eyes, you're young, your ear, hearing your lungs, your heart, like that kind of stuff. (You're gonna need a blood test for those things) that's more of a doctor. And then your psychological age, he talked about how you see yourself and, and it was really interesting because after going through these four different ways of defining age, which he didn't really expand, expound on very much. I, the remainder of the conversation really shifted to the psychological age, and specifically how you see yourself because the, what Joe teaches is perspective, right? And the perspective is, is, you know, it's a mindset, it's Be It Till You See It, to the tee. I mean, it was literally that.

Lesley Logan  

I was on his show when, OMG his show is like literally how to be it till you see it. Because, I mean, you hear people like so afraid of aging. But like you, what he talks about is how with psychological age, you can absolutely determine how old you feel.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, so this actually rolls right into my, the favorite point that I had from what he's talking about. So, you know, the psychological age, people who think that they're younger than their chronological, chronological age, he's calling it a CA, people who actually think they're younger than their ca are doing better in life all around. They have fewer chronic diseases. I'm making an assumption here, because he didn't actually say it, but I'm guessing that they'll live longer. Yeah, and most likely, they will have better functional movement as well.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, I mean, I think it like, if you, here's the thing, like if you start to feel sick, and you're like, I'm sick, right, realize, like, you start to feel sicker. But if you're like, I feel a little tingling back my throat, I'm gonna take a little supplement, I'm gonna drink a little bit water, I'm gonna go to bed earlier. (I'm going to be okay). Yeah, I'm okay. And like, guess who gets sick more? (Right). Like, I know, for I know, from myself, whenever I like, lean into the sick, I get sick. So sure, um, I would just I would just like to say, pay attention to how you are talking about your age and how you are feeling about that. And like what you're saying, because we have been challenging, you know, my father on how he feels about his age, because he used to say,

Brad Crowell  

Oh, so this is interesting. Yes, we have a challenging him and I wanted to finish that thought. And you said a specific word I want to comment on. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

So we've been challenging him, because he, like years ago was like, Oh, I'm gonna live till this time. So I want to do this before I'm this age. And we have been really like, Um, no, you are doing all these things. And so we keep them around young people. I mean, he lives around older people. So every day, it's like, someone else died today, but we keep him working out around young people and all this stuff. And, you know, he is feeling, I see him moving younger. And, and he has a lot more energy, even when he gets, you know, he does get tired. And he gets annoyed by text. But you know, other than that we're, okay.

Brad Crowell  

But you said something very interesting. You said he feels younger, right. And I think that we should draw a distinction here. Because the psychological age is how you see yourself. And I think that the functional age, will contribute to the psychological age, because when you can say, well, I feel I might be 40. But I feel like I'm 30. You're feeling that that's the functional age. And that's going to impact the way you see yourself, your psychological age. (lesley: I can get behind that.) So by taking care of your body, or by incorporating movement, that 15 minutes a day, 30 minutes a day, a Pilates we were talking about, you know, you're going to be positively impacting your functional age, which you're going to then see yourself as younger, you're gonna, you're gonna think of yourself as younger with a psychological edge. 

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I totally, I totally get that. And also, like, I think we just have to recognize we have so much more control over how we feel than we give ourselves credit for. For example, I hurt my knee literally the week before my birthday,

Brad Crowell  

right? (And I was like), yeah, actually, it was like I was I was concerned at the gym. Because you because like it, it didn't look like you definitely looked like you're in pain.

Lesley Logan  

I was in pain. (Yeah), for sure. And but what clouded my mind first was like, Oh, my god, is this permanent? Do I need surgery? Did I just like, you do this whole? (Brad: did I just jack up my entire career?) Like, rip my knee apart? Yeah. And and I took a moment I was like, you felt this pain before. Your knee is fine. It is not swollen, is not throbbing, and we can walk on it without any added weight. (Yeah). And then I looked for signs to prove that my knee was healthy. This is key everyone. Meaning as I walked down the steep ramp that they forced this up to go to the gym. I had no knee pain. And what I know is that like, if you have knee pain on a downhill, there is probably something going on because knee pain on uphill is a is you know, it can be a lot of different things. But there shouldn't like going downhill. It's like easy. So it should be it should be fine. I had no pain on the downhill. And I didn't actually have pain when I wasn't moving. (Right) So I was like, Okay, if there's no pain when I'm not moving and there's no pain on a downhill then whatever pain I have, is definitely something we can work with it. So I actually looked for ways to heal myself. And for it not to be a big deal. And here we are one week later, zero problems, no problem. I mean, I had to do a lot of stuff to do that. But like no problems, no damage. It's fine. My point is...

Brad Crowell  

Your stuff didn't include pills and pain meds, or any of that stuff, it included a chiropractor's visit (Lesley:na massage) two massages and then using a using a massage tool.

Lesley Logan  

I got a new tool, maybe we'll have the guy on, anyways, the point is, like, I could have, I remember my brain distinctly going, Oh, my God, I'm getting older. And I hurt. (Sure. Sure). And then I was like, we reject that.

Brad Crowell  

We the collective in your head?

Lesley Logan  

Collective? Yes, all the Lesleys, all the ages. So you guys need to do family therapy, you'll understand. Anyways, the point is, pay attention to how you're talking about yourself and how you are allowing leaning into things that are negative or positive. If you want to feel younger, and you want to live a long time. And I don't want to just live a long time because I want to have some sort of record. I want to live a wonderful life. I want to, I have seen and heard from people who are like surgeons at 102 years old, and they're you know, they're not actually cutting but they're at the surgery like telling the guy what to do. I want to be with it at that age, because there's too much of this world I haven't seen yet. So anyways, I went on tangent.

Brad Crowell  

I love it. No, I you know, so basically, you know, it really does come down to a mindset right and how do you help support that positive mindset while maintaining good movement is going to help your functional age, and you have no control over your your chronological age that's just aging, your biological age is your body so that's probably going to really be a contribution to your biological age would be how healthy you are what you're eating. How much you're sleeping, stuff like that

Lesley Logan  

Environment is huge, guys check your mold. 

Brad Crowell  

Check your mold. Hopefully you don't have any mold to check. (That's the goal, check it). But these these things are the functional age and the biological age. My assumption here is that they will be a direct contributor to the way you see yourself the way you feel, so your psychological age.

Okay, finally, let's talk about those Be It action items, what both executable intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your conversation with Joe Caciani? Let me jump in here. He talks about this very interesting, this very interesting idea called cognitive embodiment. And I think it really does go along with the psychological age concept. We see ourselves as what we want to become. So story, he talked about binge eating, right and struggling with binge eating, which will affect your biological age. Right? He said, If you want to break the habit of binge eating, you need to see yourself as someone who is not a binge eating person. In fact, you need to see yourself as someone who is permanently fit. Right. And so this is very much a Be It Till You See It moment.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. And by the way, exactly. You can replace binge eating for anything that you want. And then see yourself as a person you wish you were.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. And this does. There's decision involved, of course, and you you know, need to be kind to yourself, because, you know, we like Lesley talk talks about habit breaking and habit building throughout the pod here. But you know, another thing that he said, which I thought was really kind of went along with this is he said, the golden year, golden years, no one is going to knock on the door and say your golden years are here. You have to decide that you are in your golden years. And he was definitely talking to an older crowd. But when you decide that you're enjoying your your golden years, maybe you're in your 80s and everyone else is like like, you know, deciding that they're about to die, but maybe you instead decide that you're in your golden years.

Lesley Logan  

Did we talk about... Did I talk to Joe about the knee surgeon who wanted to figure out which way was fixing the knees? Because (I don't believe so). Okay, this goes back to the story you tell yourself, you guys, I heard this podcast for years years ago. And there's an actor's actual studies about the stories we tell ourselves. So this goes with how you see yourself at what size and also goes because you make decisions based on how you see yourself. That's how it works out. But this knee surgeon does a study. So to do a study, he had to he wanted to know if scraping the knee or draining the knee was actually taking was actually healing the knee and giving people their livelihood back. So he needed to have a group of people who needed the surgery, but he did nothing with...

Brad Crowell  

A group who needed the surgery? 

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, way to go dad. Then he needed a group of people, he only scraped the knee and a group of people he only drained the knee. Obviously, it's this experiment. So they tell no one, they don't tell people which group they're in. And he played the same. Like he did the same things for every group as far as like what the incisions look like. And then the people who had no knee surgery, they actually played a knee surgery video while they were under. And then they did like little incision marks as if they had knee surgery. Everyone went through the same post op stuff, same pre op, but like what they have is different. Guess what, y'all the people who had no surgery had the same result as people who had surgery. (Brad: No way.) Yeah, they thought they had surgery. They thought they had it. So they're like, my knee is better. And they like went off. And I'm not kidding you guys. I thought it was brilliant. Which is why when I hurt my knee, I was like, guess what story I can tell myself right now. Anyways, I'll get to my my biggest takeaways. So this because I just said it. Mindset that I want to keep moving forward. So if you, you guys, my grandfather just wanted to die. That was his like, whole thing. Yeah. And so he died pretty young. I mean, still, like some people would say it was, you know, he lived a life but I would say he missed out on a good 10 more years of like, true, enjoyable living. I really would. And so you need to be careful about the things you say about yourself. You when people say you look good, like you look so young. Don't say oh, no, it's this. I do. I do look so young. I am so young. I feel so young. Like really practice that. 

Okay, so and then just so you know, because he's a doctor. They have a word for this in the medical field. They call all the words a term, it's a phrase to think. (It's a phrase), yeah. Is it a phrase when there's two words or more? (Sure), sure. Okay. So, in the medical field, they call, they say process over content. And that's like, Okay, what,

Brad Crowell  

What does that mean? 

Lesley Logan  

It's journey, not the destination loves, enjoy the journey. Going back to my announcements, take a fucking vacation. Yeah, take care of yourself. Be careful what you say about yourself. If you want to Be It Till You See It. It's not just in your goals in life. It's not just in your relationships or like becoming an artist. It's like how you get to the fucking end, and enjoy that journey.

Brad Crowell  

Totally. Yeah. All right. I'm Lesley Logan. And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan  

Thank you so much for joining us today. How are you going to use Joe Casciani's tips in your life? we want to know we want you to tag us at the Be It pod. We want to thank you for listening to this. It's so much fun to make this podcast for you. We couldn't do it if we didn't have listeners, it would just be us hanging out talking to each other. We could do that any other time. So thank you DM that Be It Pod with questions you have requests you have and until next time, be it till you see it.

Brad Crowell  

Bye for now.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!    

Be It Till You See It is a production of Bloom Podcast Network.     

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan. And me Brad Crowell. Our associate producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

 Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.      

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.     

Special thanks to our designer Mesh Herico for creating all of our visuals, (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week, so you can.

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each episode, so you can find it on our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

The stories we tell ourselves matter, the golden years don’t need to be in the past, and they don’t need to be in the future. This episode holds the ways to make your golden days today, no matter your age, and move past any aging mental barriers.  

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• The value in a vacation (even a day off!) 
• The reason to honor your Pilates practice
• Functionality of age matters 
• Biological age and the tie to functionality of age. 
• Better psychological age makes you live longer
• The actual way you become what you want 
• Why process over content impacts for age

BIO : 

Psychologist with a specialty in older adults. I focus on strategies to aging well and managing whatever events get in the way. Expertise also in psychological/cognitive issues with older adults, including depression and dementia.

Episode References/Links:

• Living to 100 Website
• Email: [email protected]
• Full body in 15 free program
• Get on the pilates flashcard waitlist here
• Come to Cambodia!

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Oh, I'm grinning ear to ear. First of all, when we recorded this podcast, our guest was having his actual birthday. So how cool is it that we have a podcast where someone wants to spend their birthday with us. And also, I love this person's story so much. So we have Joe Casciani here. He is the host of the podcast, Living to 100 Club. I was actually on that podcast and I really love this question so much and I loved what he's all about. I got to research him a bit more. And I was like, "We have to have him on." And then I don't know, I'm gonna have to have him back. Because to be completely honest, we only had been like the surface of like, how it is that we can actually be it till we see it. And so he is someone who works with seniors people. Some people call activators. He didn't he call them some the older population. And he's that's what his career has been about. And so I got to ask him like things that, you know, he's learned from that, and how we can learn from that. And you know, what it doesn't, we got into, like, what is your age and doesn't matter? And I really hope you listen to this, because I know it's so easy, we're always all getting older, like the calendar keeps going, the sun keeps going around the Earth, right, or the Earth goes around the sun. Anyways, I definitely skip that part of science class. So what we, what we need to really understand is that being it till you see it is not just actions we take and perfectionist opportunity and like being perfect. It is these little tiny steps. And he's gonna dive into that for you. And also, I really love the reminder at the end and his BE IT action item. And so I hope you can use this. I definitely, I reference a really old episode with Amy Ledin in this podcast. And so what I love for you to do if you have time, listen this one, and then go listen to Amy's because I think you're gonna be able to see how you can take one of his great suggestions and implement into your life. And if you have any questions, feel free to reach out to us. We so love you. And please share the show with a friend however you like to share it of course, like putting on socials amazing, tagging to @be_it_pod because it lets me know what you loved about the show. But it's not about me, it's about you. So if you want to text it, email it, screenshot it, grab someone's phone, and like literally download it for them show where their podcast app is all those things are wonderful. It's what helps us get more and more guests and help you be it till you see it. So here's Joe Casciani.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

All right, Be It babes. Guess what? I am really excited for this conversation. I've been really excited to have it. Actually, since I met this guy. He is his own podcast hosts of Living to 100. And his name is Joe Casciani. And I just really love what he is doing putting out in this world. And I couldn't help but think like, most of what he does, and most of his expertise can help us, be it till you see it. Because as adults, there's things that get in our way. And we often are the ones that are doing that. So, Joe, welcome to the Be It pod. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you're up to these days?

Joe Casciani  

Sure can, Lesley, thanks so much for this invite. I really appreciate the opportunity to be here and talk with your audience. Yes, I'm a psychologist. I've worked with seniors my whole career. Currently, I host Living to 100 Club, which is all about educating and inspiring people about aging, staying positive, no matter what gets in the way and looking for resources to help us make better decisions and living longer. Getting over those hurdles. So that's what my current professional career is focusing on. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

I think that's amazing. Because I think so many people, I don't know, I always grew up with a lot of seniors in my life and like people just forget about us, like once you hit a certain age, like you're over the hill, and no one's making clothes for you. No one's making content for you. How did you find yourself working with this group? And are there things that you see that we all kind of still are we do whether we're young or senior?

Joe Casciani  

Yeah, you know, Lesley, I started working with seniors right out of the gate. Soon as I got licensed, I took a position on an inpatient shero psychiatric unit, which is psychiatric unit for seniors. And I was there a few years. And I learned right away that you can't tell very much by looking at someone who might be sitting in a wheelchair and looks like they're slumped over and completely out of it. But once you scratch below the surface, there's still yeah, anyway, you can't tell by appearances, so. And I also learned that you cannot estimate what a person's potential is just by talking with them. Because sometimes, for whatever reason, you know, they don't, they don't kind of reveal how well how high functioning they are. Anyway, I learned a lot. And then we started a group practice. And I was with this group practice for about 15 years. And when we contracted with nursing homes, we hired psychologists to work with patients who were referred to us. So that's what I, what I refer to as my practice management days, I was helping psychologists, learn the population, and how to work with depressed patients, behavior problems, dementia, how to educate staff. And again, there's, there's so many things about aging. And of course, the nursing home population is only, like 5% of the total of (Lesley: Yeah) that age group. So the other 95%, living independently, more or less, sometimes they're in assisted living. But I, I, when I left the nursing home world, I wanted to continue to reach older adults, but this time, it's more of the consumer, people that are still living at home and giving resources. So I think there's a lot of a lot of things that we you know, we still kind of look at many people, look at aging as a time for decline and slowing down and becoming dependent eventually and helpless. And not just me, but there are many people now that are looking at aging from a totally different perspective. It's a time of opportunity, time of opening new doors, sometimes, yeah, we do have a setback, maybe a loss, divorce, confined to a wheelchair, whatever is going on, but looking at new opportunities and stepping out of our comfort zone, and really seeing the potential for exciting opportunity. So again, it's for for any age, we look at seniors, I like to refer to 55 plus, 65 plus as the older adult population. And let's look at these years as from an upside perspective, you know, (Lesley: Yeah) feeling refreshed about aging. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. I mean, I definitely love that, that that's the approach. (Joe: Yeah) Because, as I as I'm interviewing you, I'm like, just about six weeks from 40. Which when you say 55, I'm like that is I'm closer to 55 but I wasn't. (Joe: Yeah) I'm like I don't think that that's old, or aging or anything like that. But I understand that that's where where we were society is like that's the older adult, that's a senior. But I want to go back there's a few things you touched on that I think we all could kind of get to, and one that is like, you can't you can't judge someone by their appearances and what their what's going on with them. And we can't, we often underestimate people's potential, you can't judge them as potential just by that moment with them. And I think it's, I think we all do it to ourselves. When we're younger, I think not only do is it easy for us to look at someone today and whatever age you are, and go, "Oh, they can't do that, or that's not gonna happen for them." But I think sometimes we even do it ourselves. We, we think, "Oh, I'm, I, it's too late for me. It's too late for me to learn that. It's too late for me to do this." Where does that? Like how have you seen that, have you seen somebody be able to change that mindset around that? Or have you been able to see, like somebody at the age of 80 is learning how to swim? Like, what what have you seen in your in your practice?

Joe Casciani  

Yeah, good question. And Lesley, it's, to me, it's all about resilience, and perseverance and tenacity. And certainly with the population I've seen, it's very easy to feel discouraged. You know, maybe one medical problem after another. And I saw that so many times some have a fall, or seem to, you know, have to go to rehab, physical therapy, and they throw their hands up and say, "I can't handle this anymore." So, to my mind, it's like, how do we get over that event? How do we interpret that event, that is something that's challenging us, we got to dig deep. And I think this can happen with any age group, somebody that, you know, faces rejection, or continued failure is so easy to say, "I'm done with this. I've tried and tried." Yeah, at some point, we have to re examine and reevaluate. But a lot of times, it is a matter of kind of digging deep, and finding that internal flame or fire, you know, people call it grit or resilience. And I like to say, when I speak with older adults, I said, look, you know, might feel like you're out of this, you don't have any fire left, but I disagree. As long as we're taking a breath. As long as we're still alive, we still have that, that fire inside of us. And we can tap into that, that resilience, and it's unlimited. It's an unlimited reserve. That's the beauty of this, it never goes away. We can, we can say it's gone, it's blocked, it's covered up, but it never goes away. And we can get in touch with it at any time.

Lesley Logan  

Okay, so I love this. Because I think resilience is like, the key to everything like I, I can, I can be trying to like be upset about something and trying to quit something and I can feel my resilience fighting back ... (Joe: Yeah) and I'm like, I just want to sit in this moment and be upset right now. And you're already ready to go. But (Joe: Yeah) um, can we teach resilience? I mean, obviously, it's something we're all born with. But is it something that are you taught? Like, are we, is that a habit that we pick up as we're as we're growing up to not be resilient? Or is that something we can teach people who are older? Can I learn more resilience?

Joe Casciani  

You know, there are people who have more resilience than others. And, you know, the science has identified a lot of those characteristics of resilient people, you know, it's that ability to get up off the mat after we're knocked down. And, you know, not everybody has that. But I think it is teachable, I think it is something we can all acquire. And again, the resilient people, they're better at decision making. They don't let emotions take over. Now, emotions are to be respected, right? I'm not saying ignore emotions, we have to respect our emotions, maybe feeling a sense of loss, or that failure or grief, whatever, we have to experience that process. But then it's time to move on. And the point is, respect the emotions, don't let them control us. Sometimes we stay under control, and it gets heavy, we're depressed, and the burden gets very heavy, and it's hard to dig out of that. So we have to watch that, we have to watch sometimes that depression is very good at, you know, kind of pulling us into that dark hole. It's like a vacuum that sucks us back, we have to watch that because it's very hard to get out of it. So the point is, let's respect the emotion, let's acknowledge it, let's recognize it. And then we can continue to to move forward. So, resilience is again it's it's that determination, and not not being so quick to say, I'm done. I can't handle any more of this. But again, you know, (Lesley: Yeah) there are exceptions. Of course, I'm not saying you know, forever and ever, but let's not be so quick to give it up. Yeah.

Yeah, I love hearing that. Because I think for those people listening who feel like they have friends who are more resilient, that we can make a little bit more sense, but also, that we have it in us and, and I think that there's a difference between feeling your feelings and pushing through and the resilience doesn't mean you're just pushing, pushing, pushing just means like, you're taking stock, you're evaluating, and then you get to you get to get keep going. And I think that that is really helpful. It's really nice. So I, I'm wondering, is there, are there things that we could be looking at? Because you I mean, you've been focusing your your career on helping people and also Living to 100 Club podcasts. Are there things that we should be considering now, when we are younger, before we hit that 55? Or even if we're just above that, that we could be doing as a practice to assist us and having a more than even just resilient adult, older adult life, but just like, a better life? And in that way I do things I could be doing now?

Yeah, you know, I think when we talk about behavior change, that's one of the most difficult things I've found in my career. It's hard to change behavior. And it starts with tiny steps, small turtle steps, right. So let's say we want to lose 10 pounds, we don't set our goals, losing 10 pounds, we set our goal as I'm going to change what I eat tomorrow. And every time we take a small step, it gives us a little bit more motivation. But it also gives us confidence, that feeling of success. So the small steps are really important, let's, we can have a big goal. But let's not focus on the goal. Let's focus on what I'm doing tomorrow. And a good way to do that, Lesley is to, you know, we talked about journaling, you know, kind of what our day is like, and I always talked about journaling as keeping track of what I did today that was better than yesterday, did I handle this situation better today than I used to? Did I do something different today? This is what I want to journal at night. Did I do something different today? Maybe I handled a conversation better than the way I used to. And that's what we want to focus on change, the positive changes. We can spend time writing down our frustrations and disappointments. But I don't think we've learned as much out of that, as we do on kind of highlight, putting the spotlight on what I did today, that was better than where I was last week or last year. And that's why we're always people get trapped by comparing themselves to others. So I see so and so's making all this progress toward whatever. And I think that's a trap because there are always going to be people who are doing better than us and people who are not doing as well as the better comparison is where I am today compared to where I was a month ago. That's that's how we change behavior. That's how we kind of count ourselves on the back when we're doing something better than we used to say, yeah, I'm doing a better job. And that builds that confidence. Like I said, it builds that self efficacy or more or more capable when we can recognize these positives because we can draw on the negatives and the disappointments forever but let's focus on the positives and that's what keeps us moving forward. So that's what I would say, you know, in terms of kind of a daily practice let's pay attention to that. The other the other thing we talked about you've heard of affirmations of course and affirmations are important. The affirmation is something that kind of describes where I want to be compared to where I am, like we say to ourselves, I can handle stressful events or I can remain calm in difficult situations. So that affirmation is the gap we're trying to close the gap between where I am and where I want to be. So we continue to use these affirmations and that gradually shapes our behavior have any any level, toward any goal, toward any endeavor, congratulate shapes our behavior because it tells us here's where I want to be. Here's the here's the gap I want to close. So journaling, affirmations, let me see.

Lesley Logan  

I love these though because these are free, these are free things it's not (Joe: Yeah) like I think I could have totally like felt like you could be like okay, here are the supplements you should be taking, here's the trainers you should be hiring, here are these things and like all those things are great if they make you feel good and they make you and they're helping you do more of what you love. But, but I you are, your way of journaling makes me think a lot about we had Amy Ledin on like episode three or five like way long ago and she has these DAC or Daily Agreement Cards, and they're very specific and one is like behavior, one is like health, one is it's like bang, they nutrition and one is I forget. But basically, it spells out B A G, B A N G, right? So she put them on there and you put your, and it's not like, I'm going to walk 10 miles today, but it's like one little change. And then you make them small enough that they're achievable. And then if you do all four of them, and the day the card goes in the wind pile, and the and the thing that you put down is hopefully is like something just a little bit better than what you were doing yesterday. And that thing. (Joe: Yeah ...) Yeah, yeah. So I ...

Joe Casciani  

... raising the bar just a little bit. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

So that we can actually achieve it. I think, you know, I think it's so it's you mentioned comparison. And I think that that is a horrible thing that we all do. And I'm sure I wonder if we ever aged out of that. I doubt that. I don't think so. Because my father is he's 70. He lives in an older above 55 community. And he definitely compares himself to other people. He's like, "I'm one of the youngest people there. I'm one of the most active people there."

Joe Casciani  

Yeah. Don't move to another another setting, because you might be older. (Lesley: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.) Yeah, that works in that place for him. Sure.

Lesley Logan  

It does. With, with the people that you you're working with, what have you, what have you seen really helps us? Like, get out of that mindset that we are getting older, and we should just hang up our hat? Like, what's the what's the affirmation or mantra there? Because I feel like my grandfather, he would always just go I go, "How you doing, grandpa? He's like, "Waiting to die." And I'm like, "That is the worst thing." Anyone say. Why are you saying that?

Joe Casciani  

You know, just on a personal level. I'm the youngest of four kids, right. And my three siblings have all passed away. Right. So two of them at a very untimely age. And I was talking to a relative and niece of mine. And I reminded her, "You know, I'm the last of the four of us." And she said, "You must feel terrible." And I said, "No, no ..." The only survivor I mean, I that's independent of who I am and where I'm going. So I don't let that influence. But my point is, we are getting older, right? Everybody is aging. There, we're all going to face some level of physical decline, some of us will face some cognitive decline, you know, the arthritis, the wrinkles, the gray hair, some difficulty with vision, hearing, senses. But let's not dwell on those negatives. Let's look at the positives, because there are as many if not more positives, you know, as I talked about aging and I talk about celebrating our senior years. Let's look at the upside. Let's look at the potential. You know, I, I use this exercise. And when I talk with large groups, and I divide the room into right half and left half, and I say, "Alright, everybody on the right side, you're the pessimist. Put your pessimist hat on and look around the room and find everything that's wrong with him maybe scratches on the walls, stains on the carpet. Maybe the fixtures need fixing or whatever. And everybody on the other side, you're the optimist. Put your optimist hat on. And I want you to look and find everything, maybe the sunlight, maybe the, you know, the furniture, maybe the colors of the walls, whatever." And I bring them back and we get observations and I say, "Look, it's the same room. What are you looking for? If you're looking for what's wrong, you'll find it. If you're looking for what's right, you'll find that too." So that's what I that's, to me the perfect model for a positive outlook about aging. Yeah, there are there are some episodes, some decline, some losses. But let's look at what's good. Let's see what's good about the run. Let's put that optimist hat on. And let's see what's still good enough for him. Because, you know, as long as I said, as long as we have that ability to be aware of what's going on and make mental decisions. We can stay positive, you know, is the glass half full? Or is the glass half empty? And eight ounce glass with four ounces of water is half full and half empty. (Lesley: Yeah) You decide.

Lesley Logan  

There is a book. (Joe: Yeah) I'm forgetting the name of it. But it was a very impactful book for me back in 2012. And, and she had said, it's not about whether you see the glass half full or half, half empty. It's whether you see something in the glass. (Joe: Yeah, yeah.) like it's just like, do you see that there is something in this glass? That's already we're already doing (Joe: Yeah) a good job. 

Joe Casciani  

Yeah, yeah. Same idea. Sure.

Lesley Logan  

That's a really cool experiment. I think we all could do that in our life. Like you could be going through a really bad thing and you can actually start to find good things happening at the same time. We do this in our coaching group, we have a channel that says, "I need a moment." And because, you know, like, it's it's a particular type of coaching program, we coach Pilates and fitness instructors and so you can complain to your family, but they're not going to really understand why that's so annoying that somebody keeps late canceling, even though you're, they're like, "You're getting paid for the hour. It's like, yeah, but could have been doing anything else." You know, like they don't get. So we have this channel, but the rule is, you have to go to the wins channel right afterwards, and you have to post something that's going well, because it's like negativity can breed negativity. And so we got to cancel that out with a win. And now some people just go directly to the wins, like I was gonna complain about this. But here's what's ... and so I, I love doing that because it is it is so easy to be in a room and to see what's wrong with it. But we can also see what's right. And we can all be in the same room. What a cool, (Joe: Yeah, yeah.) what a cool challenge we have them do.

Joe Casciani  

We're gonna see whatever we're looking for, right? But we think about, we bring them out, you know, we're gonna see whatever we're looking for. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

That is very, very true. We've had some neurologists on who'd said that your brain is predisposed to see 60, like 60%, at least negative thinking right to protect you. And most of our thoughts are the repetitive thoughts we've had before. And, you know, whatever that what is it that RA ... (Joe: Reticular Activating) Yes, thank you that that's the word, system like we, that's what we're supposed to do. That's what our brain our brain is doing what it was designed to do. And so we have to really work hard to have it focus on what we want it to look for the good stuff we want to see in our day. And that can be that can be really trying. Do you, is that is that room thing that way you teach people how to do that? Or is or do you have other tools for helping people see, like see something good going on in their in their life, even if they're things going wrong?

Joe Casciani  

Well, you know, I, I like to use examples. I like to use stories. And one of the favorite stories is Steve Jobs. And we all know Steve Jobs founder of Apple, brilliant, genius engineer. While Steve Jobs was adopted, as an infant, a lot of people that I've read their bio about him by Walter Isaacson. Good story. So Steve Jobs found out he was adopted when he was about 10, or 11. And he was totally crushed. He said, "How could my own parents, my own biological mother, give me up? I must be totally worthless. I must have no value as a person." So his adoptive parents found out about this thinking of Steve's? And they said, "No, no, no, Steve, when you were in the hospital, we saw you as an infant. And to us, you are the most valuable person in the world. We couldn't imagine living our lives without you." So what happened? Did the adoptive parents give him any new skills or talents? No, they helped him throw that light switch from being the most worthless to now being the most valuable person flipping that switch. And that's what we all can do. We can all have that same conversation with ourselves, I can go from, I flipped that switch. And I go from A to B and wow, it's like a new world, it's like a new world. And we can create a new, I call it redefining ourselves, we kind of reinvent ourselves. And that's often I talk about starting new chapters. And yeah, maybe we lived 50 years. We mr, you know, husband, and now my wife has passed away. And okay, we deal with the grief. And we get through that eventually, hopefully. And now I have to start a new chapter. And now I'm a single person. So like flipping that switch. I mean, imagine if Steve Jobs never had that conversation with his adoptive parents. You know what, no Apple, no I, no iPhone, we'd all be using blackberries ... and pilots. We had that same conversation with ourselves. And that's how we, again, it's that it's that perception, how do we perceive events? How do we perceive, perceive ourselves? How do we define? How do we interpret? You know, I, somebody, you know, seven years old, trips are walking off the curb and sprains his ankle. Alright, how are you going to explain that event to yourself? How do you interpret that? Is that like, "Oh, no, I'm getting older. I'm not going to be able to function." Or am I, you know, just someone who tripped. Right. I mean, again, it's that that same explanation, how do we define it? And that's going to color, how we cope with it? Right. That interpretation is going to color influence how well we cope with that event.

Lesley Logan  

That is actually really an interesting thing. Like, am I just someone who trips? (Joe: Yeah) I, when I first started teaching Pilates, most of my clients were over 60 and so, and I was told, like, once people are over 55, they should not do too much flexion because they're already rounding forward. And, and to a young person, I was like, okay, that makes sense. All my clients were over 70. But I was looking at how they were rounded. And I was like, well, this is not strong. And like they have to, and then I was looking at them, like, get out of their car, and I'm like, well, that's flexion and sitting on the toilet. And I'm like, they're doing flexion all the time, should I teach them some flexion. And so I started teaching them flexion and with more length and more strength. And it was so funny, because I started to see them with more possibilities. Because I, because I switched that, that light switch on on in my brain, and not that they're doing some of the crazy flexion stuff that someone who's younger is doing. But that doesn't mean that they can't do it at all. And, and I think it's so easy for us to be told or to tell ourselves a story about oh, this age, I can't do this anymore. And it was so funny, because I had a client who turned 55 while working with me. And I thought, so what? Because yesterday, she could do something, but today, she can't like do. Like that doesn't make any sense. Like that's a nice bright line to think about as a teacher to have some contraindications, but also, like not let those things like, by what we live by yes, you're 70 and yes, you fell. That doesn't mean that you're gotten you've gotten older and that's why you trip.

Joe Casciani  

Right. Right. Yeah. So we evaluate each person we cannot assume anything based on their age. And age is only a number. You know, that's, that's one of the underlying fundamentals here. Age is only number. Don't, you know I don't know how much time we have but can I tell them my story?

Lesley Logan  

Oh keep going. Tell them your story. I love it.

Joe Casciani  

Emile, Emile Ravelbond, he worked in television in Holland, right? He was 69 years old. He was unhappy being 69. So Emile would say, I can't get dates online, people find out how old I am. And they don't want to go out with me. I can't drive a sports car. People think I'm too old. I can't get a mortgage for a new house. I want to change my age. I want to be 49. He says if I'm 49 I can go online and get dates. I can drive whatever car I want. I can get a bank loan. He said people can change their name, they can even change their gender nowadays, I should be able to change my age. So he went to the Dutch courts. This is a true story. He went to the Dutch courts. And the Dutch courts said, "Sorry, Mr. Ravelbond. We cannot change your age. If we do that, it's going to eliminate 20 years of your records in our system, and we can't do it. However, you are free to feel 49. If you want, you can feel whatever age you want. But we can change your chronological age." So to me, age is only a number and then, you know I had someone on my part ... I talked about different ways to define our age. There's functional age, there's biological age biological age looks at how our body is aging, maybe in advance of our chronological age, or maybe healthier, and our psychological age or kind of health age. People who think they're younger than their chronological age, actually have fewer chronic diseases. They take better care of themselves and more involved in preventive health care. They do better on tests of memory and cognitive function. So people who actually think they're younger than their CA are actually doing better. So age, let's let's not get tripped up on ...

Lesley Logan  

Oh, I love this option so much.

Joe Casciani  

Yeah. You know, another story is that, is woman called Edith Murway. I heard her story on NPR last year. She started weightlifting at age 91. Professional weightlifting at age 91. And seven years later, she set the Guinness world record for being the oldest competitive power lifter where she lifted 150 pounds at age 98. And, you know, people asked her what's the best part about doing this? And she said, "You know, it's the applause that I get from the audience." Isn't that great? (Lesley: That is ...) I mean, there's (Lesley: I love that.) so many exceptions. There's so many exceptions to that norm of steady decline. Let's you know, that's why I talked about Living to 100. That's that it's a great goal. It's more than a goal to me. It's it's our mindset, it's our attitude. How do we want to look at getting older staying positive all the way?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I I love that so much because most of my friends are much older than me a ton older but they all hit 40 before me and I watched them all stress about it, be depressed about, their hitting 40 like and I and then they hit 40 and then I find out like a year like it's the best thing ever. It's the best day it's like about all this stuff. So anyways, my whole year of 39, I have been like celebrating that 40 is coming. And I'm like, "I don't even feel 40." I'm so excited to finally hit it because apparently everything is great afterwards. (Joe: wait till you hit 50, wait till you hit 50!) But I know, I know, I also heard Oprah's lovin was loving 60. So I feel like all these things, but what I hear you saying, which I love so much is one, acting as if is always is a little bit better than, than just like waiting around and like letting it happen. And then something that you brought up, it's not about like that we're all going to like the goal of living to 100 is nice. I once heard someone say, just like hitting a goal is not always the option, like the only thing, right? Because when we have a goal in mind, and we make steps towards it, it changes how we act as a person. And that's actually the win, right like that us making those changes. It's not like if you if I hit 97, and I missed 100, it's not like I didn't hit my goal. like yes I didn't get to 100. But I, I made myself a different person along the way. And isn't that the whole reason for going after a goal.

Joe Casciani  

Yeah. Beautiful. You know, psychologists call that process over content. It's the process of doing something rather than just what the goal is. So it's, it's the attitude about living longer whether we do or not, it's not in the cards for everybody. But it's the mindset that I want to keep moving forward. I want to keep moving forward. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, this is so great. Joe, you're such a wealth of knowledge. I love your story. We're gonna have to have you back. I think for sure. We're gonna take a brief pause. Find out how people can find you, hear more ways that they can live to 100.

Joe Casciani  

Great. Okay.

Lesley Logan  

All right, Joe, where do you hang out? Where do, where do people listen to your podcasts? How can they get more information?

Joe Casciani  

Yeah, my website, livingto100.club, c l u b not .com or .org but .club. So my company is Living to 100 Club. I'm the podcast host. I do public speaking. I do monthly newsletters and a lot of information. I do some clinical consulting. And I also do one on one counseling, coaching with individuals who maybe have, you know, have some bumps, you know, on their journey and are looking for solutions. I love to do, I love to talk about successful agents. So that's what this is all about. If people want to go to my podcast, you can subscribe now and be a subscriber. If you go to the make sure just a new link livingto100club.supercast s u p e r c a s t.com. So livingto100club.supercast.com. That's to become a subscriber or a monthly fee or an annual fee, which will give ... our podcasts every month. This week, I've got a an MD coming on. He's talking about regenerative medicine, brilliant physician, but getting away from traditional medicine and looking at the new opportunities for Regenerative Medicine. Anyway, great content. And you know, I'd love to people can give me a call, my email address is [email protected], [email protected]. Or you can give me a call and 858-272-3992. Take your calls, we can set up a Zoom meeting. I can, you know, see if there's any way I can offer some assistance. So, yeah (Lesley: I love it.) happy to be available. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

You are, you're amazing. And I hope people take advantage of learning from you. Before I let you go, (Joe: Yeah) you gave it, you've given us so many things but bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can do to be it till they see it. What do you have for us?

Joe Casciani  

Yeah, you know, a lot ... There's a term called cognitive embodiment. We, we see ourselves as what we want to become. Right? We there's someone who was on my program last year, he looked at weight loss as an expert in binge eating. And he said, "Think of yourself as a permanently thin person." So when you define yourself as a permanently thin person that's going to affect all of your decisions, all of your approaches to eating, and it's gonna make you kind of enable you to make better choices. So what we think about, we bring about, we hold on to that new definition of ourselves and that's, that's going to influence how we go through the world. And, you know, I had someone on my it was a presentation I was giving him this older gentleman, you know he said, "I hear a lot about these golden years, golden years, everybody talks about golden years. And I haven't seen a golden years, where are these golden years?" So I thought about it for a second. He was trying to hook me I think, he almost got. And I said, "Look, you, you have to become the golden years. You cannot wait till somebody knocks on your door and says, here I am. You have to embody whatever you think the golden years are. And you have to take that role on yourself. And that's going to influence your your moving forward. And you create that mindset that I am in my golden years, and all of your decisions will follow from it." So we can't wait for people to knock on the doors. We have to take that initiative. And keep keep getting out there ... You know, new outlooks. So that's where I am. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, cognitive embodiment. I love this. I mean, (Joe: Yeah) of course, I'd love this, this would be it till you see it all the way. But I love when there's science behind it (Joe: Yeah) but just a motto. Joe, thank you for that. I think we all can take a moment today. And like, think about who we want to be and start saying it. And it's, it's kind of like, if a company has values everyone, they put everything that they decide to do through those values. So (Joe: Yeah) it's the same thing, whatever you're saying, like, "I am this. I am this person. This is who I am." Then the decisions you make will filter through that. Would that person do that? No. I mean, so it just makes it more easily accessible and tangible.

Joe Casciani  

Yeah, it's a mental construct, and we can reconstruct our image anytime. We redefine ourselves. We, yeah, we go from one place to another place and sometimes it's a positive and sometimes it's not. Over always ... opportunities and new doors to open. Lesley, this has been great fun.

Lesley Logan  

Joe, thank you so much for being here. Everyone, how are you going to use these tips in your life? Let us know. Make sure you tag the @be_it_pod. Email them to Joe at livingto100club. All those links are going to be below, so it'll be really easy for you to click them, access them. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!  

Be It Till You See It is a production of Bloom Podcast Network.  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan. And me Brad Crowell. Our associate producer is Amanda Frattarelli.    

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.    

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.   

Special thanks to our designer Mesh Herico for creating all of our visuals, (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week, so you can.  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each episode, so you can find it on our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Your health is not a fad. There is no quick fix for a healthy lifestyle but this episode holds some tricks for meal prepping to success and the way you can create lasting change in your wellness. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Making your health and fitness a priority as part of your lifestyle.
• How to shift out of fad diet culture
• The benefit of sharing your health journey with others 
• Seven easy ways you can meal prep 

Episode References/Links:

• Longtime listener first time caller
• Let’s go to Cambodia!
• Get on the waitlist for flashcards

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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the feeling convo I had with Sara Frenza in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened that episode, feel free to pause this now and go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. And by the way, if this is the first episode you've ever listened to. Hi, I's me and Lesley Logan. Hello.

Brad Crowell  

Oh, hey, my name is Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan  

I already introduced you. I know. I know. So but I just thought like maybe every once in a while. I'll just say who I am just in case. There's a first timer. Hello. (Brad: Hey.) Welcome to the Be It pod.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, we're so glad you're here.

Lesley Logan  

This is the recap. It is a Cliff's Notes version. And our opinions of what happened on Monday's pod.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, we're summarizing, pulling out a couple talking points, expo... expounding on them, all those things. (Lesley: I like inexpoundsion ...) Inexpoundsion? That's not word, 100% not a word. I wouldn't even know how to spell it, expound s i o n. (Lesley: Yeah.) expound... No, no. (Lesley: Maybe ...) Expoundsion. (Lesley: Maybe it's x i o n, expoundxion) Expansion. (Lesley: Ah, that's such a boring word.) It's a boring word. We're making them up ... Well, before we make up more new words. A couple quick announcements here.

Lesley Logan  

We just drove back from the POT, Balanced Body's Pilates On Tour at Monterrey. And the flashcards went like hotcakes. (Brad: Oh, yeah.) Oh, yeah. You guys, it's just so fun to see how you guys use these flashcards in your life. I love, I love it. I love showing them to you. I love you getting your hot hands on them.

Brad Crowell  

We're talking about the Pilates flashcards that Lesley made. Just in case you're the first timer we've ever known ...

Lesley Logan  

Oh, yeah. Just in case you're Tracy from Michigan. Is that what they say? (Brad: Yeah, Tracy.) This is for Tracy.

Brad Crowell  

I think we're gonna call it Bob. Because Bob is going to be the husband of someone who does Pilates and he just doesn't have a clue. (Lesley: Okay, we can call him Bob.) Where's Bob from? (Lesley: Well, I'm just gonna, like ...) Do we not like Bob?

Lesley Logan  

... Hi, males. If you're listening, there's like, it's like we have a lot of amazing women and a few good men. So, I think it could be like Cheryl from Wisconsin.

Brad Crowell  

Okay, Cheryl from Wisconsin.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, she's pi curious.

Brad Crowell  

She's pi curious.

Lesley Logan  

And you need our Mat flashcards. Anyways, we, maybe we'll change her every name every week. But anyways, these are my flashcards the links in the show notes. We are about and this brings us to the next exciting news. (Brad: Yeah.) We are literally days away from announcing deck number four. Now, (Brad: days away) Cheryl's if you're pi curious you don't have a Wunda Chair this might not apply to you but it might apply to your teacher. So we I finished the chairs flashcard and when I say chairs plural is because there were multiple, (Brad: three) yeah I'm also there's pural chairs but ... (Brad: If you're a chair curious.) Yeah. There's there's a High Chair also there's an Electric Chair. There is an Arm Chair also known as a Baby Chair. And there is a Wunda Chair which is always called that. So

Brad Crowell  

Unless you get the exo chair ...

Lesley Logan  

Which they people, well that's still a Wunda Chair, (Brad: I know.) but we've call it, I have an exo chair. (Brad: Yeah.) So you can have that chair. You can have ...

Brad Crowell  

... like there's 50 names for them all. But we call them the chairs.

Lesley Logan  

You can have a homemade chair. You can have whatever chair has springs to it. I've seen them all and I did a very thorough job. I like to pat myself on the back and making sure our how to use this deck card has information on how to apply whatever your chair is to whatever chair I have and if you're like, "But Lesley I don't have a High Chair and a Baby Chair." I don't care. If you might have access to them ...

Brad Crowell  

Right. You might have access to one, at some point you might want to get one and totally okay. (Lesley: Well) It's just consider an extra information.

Lesley Logan  

Welcome to be it till you see it. (Brad: That's right.) I'm going to help you be the person who knows how to teach equipment until you see that equipment. So, it is and then just in case you are someone who needs to know how many cards, 72% of this deck is for Wunda Chair so that is more than two thirds. So no excuses, get on the waitlist at opc.me/flashcard waitlist

Brad Crowell  

opc.me/flashcard waitlist

Lesley Logan  

that is hard slash flash.

Brad Crowell  

I know the slash discussion really messed up me last time, too.

Lesley Logan  

That's that that was a voice. I went to a sort of speaking, what do you call it speech therapy? (Brad: Yeah.) That was not in my list of things to work on any ... (Brad: No, slash flash.) Anyways, according to last week's episode, Brad said we're only gonna let the waitlist people know. So

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, get on the waitlist because well the waitlist people are gonna get the link.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, to the presale. (Brad: That's right.) Yeah, so you're gonna get the best deal. (Brad: Yeah.) And if you're not on the waitlist, you are not going to get that link or the best deal you're gonna you're gonna hear about it when it ships and you'll pay full price. (Brad: Love it.) So and then finally, one last exciting news. The doors have opened for our October retreat. And if you know, you know, (Brad: I ykyk.) I wonder how many times we can just say that?

Brad Crowell  

What retreat? Send us a DM. It's gonna be amazing.

Lesley Logan  

What retreat? Keep listening to the episodes, Cheryl. (Brad: Yeah.) We talk about the retreat. (Brad: Yeah, we do.)

Brad Crowell  

Okay, so what was this week's question? You got a listener asking, Are you ever in the Washington area, teaching Workshops? And they mean, like, Seattle, Washington.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Yeah. So I was like, oh, because it was, you know, we, they've been hearing about our tour. And we've been like, talking about maybe doing another tour.

Brad Crowell  

Right. So every year we do have tour up to out to Philadelphia from the West Coast (Lesley: It's out and up.) Well, yeah, it's out and back. So we do like, sometimes you go South first. Sometimes you go North first. But. it's like an epic saga of a drive.

Lesley Logan  

I did like the going South first. I mean, I don't know (Brad: Thank you with that.) that we probably can't do it again. No, because that whole weather system was a disaster.

Brad Crowell  

I know. It would have definitely served us better if we had been South on the way home.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, yeah. So we'll do that.

Brad Crowell  

We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out.

Lesley Logan  

We'll flip it and reverse it.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. Anyway, the (Lesley: That's a Missy Elliott) Oh, here you go. (Lesley: lyric)

But rumor is that we may be doing a West Coast tour. So it could hypothetically start in Vegas, and go south to San Diego, and go all the way up the west coast of Vancouver before coming back down.

Lesley Logan  

Don't make too many promises.

Brad Crowell  

I said, hypothetically, potentially, fingers crossed, all the things. If this is something that would be of interest to you, we need to know. (Lesley: So if you either ...) This is not ... planned yet.

Lesley Logan  

I want to participate in the West Coast tour as a as a client, or you want to host a spot as a as a host to use the same word in the sentence. You have to hit us up because we are (Brad: Yeah, we need to know.) we will actually be planning it like right now. (Brad: Yeah.) And and so you know, get get in on it. Because people always like, "How did you pick that spot? Why are you going to that place?" Because they asked. (Brad: Yeah.) If you want things in this world. Y'all, you have to ask for them. Like I'm like let this be a lesson to you. People like, "How did you get that spot?" I applied. Like I applied, no one is calling me and offered me random things. They're just not. So everything you ever see that I've ever done I've applied for. (Brad: That's true. Very true.) So if you want in on this tour, and you want us to hit up your town, then you know any which way you want to contact us so it's gonna be fine. (Brad: Yeah, so) How about TikTok? I'm be really honest. I have not ...

Brad Crowell  

No, just chat to us. Go to opc.me/chat

Lesley Logan  

Oh, that's a good spot. (Brad: Yeah.) Yeah. Yeah. Okay, cool.

Brad Crowell  

Amazing. Great question. Thanks for asking.

Lesley Logan  

You know, you guys can ask questions. (Brad: Like any question.) Any question. (Brad: All the time opc.me/chat.) It can be life, fitness, business. We don't really care. We just like to answer your questions. (Brad: Yeah.) We have all this information ...

Brad Crowell  

We'd love knowing that you listen, we love connecting with you. (Lesley: Yeah.) And it's so fun.

Lesley Logan  

You know what I want? This is what I want from you guys. This is my ask. I want I want questions like a longtime listener, first time caller like I want them. (Brad: Cool. Yeah.) Longtime listener, first time caller. I want to read those.

Brad Crowell  

Would that be, would you want to actually call, leave a voicemail?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, we need a phone number.

Brad Crowell  

Tell us about that. If you would if that's something of interest to you, let us know (Lesley: Yeah.) on the chat. (Lesley: Yeah.) And then we'll set up a phone call number because I don't want to set it up unless you want it. (Lesley: Yeah. But ...) opc.me/chat

Lesley Logan  

But if you want to be like don't tell remember like longtime listener, first time caller? (Brad: Yeah.) Like I want that. I want that, that's what I want. You gotta tell me if you want it. (Brad: I want it.) I want it and well it's a two way re... I guess it's a three way since we're like listeners. You and me. I don't know. 

Brad Crowell  

Okay, now let's talk about Sara Frenza. A mom, published fitness model, a writer and a life transformation coach. Sara Frenza is on a mission to help women make their health and their fitness a priority. She's passionate about not taking the quick fix, but working for long term solutions and passing along the information to the next generation.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, so I actually really, I really love Sara. She's such a sweetheart. And I hope you all heard her journey, because I think it can be really easy to think, "Oh, must be nice for them. Those people who are on these pods that transform their career." But y'all can have it, you all can have that for yourself. 

One thing I love that she had talked about was like making your health and fitness a priority. So you're like, simplest way to think about this is because like, "Uh huh, Lesley got it. Nice, Sara, thanks for that. Duh." But it's like your health and fitness is not a fad diet. Like, it's just not. So the more you can think about your health and fitness as your priority as part of your lifestyle, as part of the transformation that's always ongoing. We had Keri Ford on here and she talked with this mountain with no peak, like your health and fitness is a mountain without a peak doesn't mean you just like keep going, going, going without like ever celebrating an achievement. But it isn't like, okay, for the next two weeks, I'm gonna go on a sugar detox, and then I'm gonna be great. It's like, well, then you will have had not had sugar for two weeks. But if you go back to the way you lived, then that's not exactly taking your health fitness and making it a priority. So (Brad: That's true.) Yeah. And I'm not advocating that you ditch sugar or you don't. I'm just saying like, how looking at your health and fitness if you look at like, when I was an ambassador for Lululemon, they made us do goals was like personal, health and fitness, professional. (Brad: interesting) And you had three could not have more than three bullet points under each one of those things. And then you had goals for that those bullet points that are one year, five year and 10 year. Of course, I started with a 10 year. But the point is, is that if we have too many goals, you don't get anything done. And also, if you aren't building upon the achievements that you had, it's kind of like, "I'm doing this today. I'm doing this tomorrow. I'm doing this over here." It's like it's all it comes kind of like a one and done thing and so you just kind of build on it. So maybe maybe you want to do a triathlon. I don't but let's just say that's what your goal is. So then you work backwards until you to one year from now. Well, are you running already? Can you bike? Can you swim? Like one of those things probably you're not doing. So make that a goal. And then (Brad: Sure.) sort of add that in. And then over time you get to like the five year goal and maybe you're doing a mini triathlon and then you're working your way up. So just I just really loved that she brought that up because your health and fitness is not a fad diet.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, I also what the fad diets. It's it's called that because you you know it's not gonna last.

Lesley Logan  

It's like a, it's like It's like fast fashion. Do not make your health and fitness the same as fast fashion. Fast fashion.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. Oh, I was gonna talk about the cayan and like lemonade fucking iced tea thing, whatever. (Lesley: Oh.) Do you remember that? Like when was suddenly drinking that. (Lesley: What is that called ... Okay.) I can't remember. But like, that's the kind of like that is not real.

Lesley Logan  

So, I worked in, so I used to work at Fred Segal. And some of the girls were on the diet coke and iceberg lettuce diet. (Brad: Amazing.) These are not proponent things, do not try them. Some, other people ...

Brad Crowell  

They are not winners. (Lesley: Other people ...) That's why they're fads.

Lesley Logan  

cigarettes and coffee

Brad Crowell  

That was mine through college.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So um, but you know, I mean, look, everyone, my grandmother and in my entire life, I learned about every single diet there was I know all the diet pills and all the things and I can tell you right now, none of them are sustainable. So instead of looking for a fad diet, look for the life transformation that you can sustain and works with you because it has to work with your life.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, exactly. And I think that's, it's a mindset shift, right? There's no quick fix here. This is a long term decision that you're making for yourself. It's as simple as that, which is really hard. But I know it's, it's like,

Lesley Logan  

I know, you're like easier said than done, guys. We know. We also have bodies. We also understand,

Brad Crowell  

Hi, I'm a floating entity. I'm not a fishball.

Lesley Logan  

We hit 40. We got it. We know.

Brad Crowell  

All right. One thing I really loved was about like she started to talk about the support systems that you make and sharing, not only sharing that you're on a path, but also allowing people to support you in that journey. Right. And, you know, specifically she said, You can't do anything alone, you have to share your journey along the way. Because maybe that's with your spouse, your significant other, your kids, your family, parents, whatever, your co workers, your friends, you know, the reality is that if I think I think when we were doing the Full Body in 15 Pilates challenge, last year, we had a lot of success with the participants who went back to their family and said, "Hey, next week on Monday, Wednesday, Friday at, you know, 5pm, for 30 minutes, I'm busy. I'm going to be taking care of me." And the the family was like, "Hey, cool." And so what happened was, the kids knew already the spouse knew already, you know, mom's busy, she's doing this thing. And

Lesley Logan  

Or dads busy, or somebody is busy.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, I mean, in our case, most of our audience was women for that. (Lesley: Yeah.) Maybe I might have been the only guy in there.

Lesley Logan  

No, we had two husbands. (Brad: Oh, that's right. That when we had ...) That why, that's why where a lot of women, amazing women and a few good men. Thanks, Cheryl.

Brad Crowell  

Well, the point is, you know, when they were explicit, and sharing what their intentions were, and what they were doing, and why they were doing it, they got the support that they needed from the people around them. And the same thing goes for you, if you are able to voice that to, I don't know, maybe your coworkers go out to dinner every day after work or something or, you know, you are taking a break from drinking and you live with someone, you know, and you can share that with them, they can encourage you and help you in that path, whatever it is, that is that you're trying to achieve for your health. When you share that with the people around you, then now a) you're not hiding it, and b) they can help actually support you.

Lesley Logan  

And also, they can also help support you like there's accountability there. And and and you can't resent them for, they can't read your mind. So (Brad: Sure.) if you (Brad: Sure.) if you don't tell people, "I'm taking a break from drinking." Then they, if they go, "Hey, can I get you a beer." You're like, "I'm trying to drink." And then you like have this whole internal conversation with yourself. And the truth is that they didn't know. So they have to on your team actually just wrote about this on, the time recording, so I wrote an Instagram post about my birthday. So obviously, this is way after my birthday. But for my birthday week, I actually wanted to take off several days. I just want to take off Wednesday to Saturday. So I normally take Saturday's off. I normally got two calls on Monday and Tuesday but Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, there's like commitments that I usually have. So I wanted to have those off. Now, I couldn't just block them off without telling people. I mean I could but that would have just worked like people would have been like, "Hey, can I do this? Hey, can I do this?" And like, you know, I would be like, "I'm taking the time off? Don't you understand?" It's like so I actually just months ago, I said, hey to my assistant. I said, "Hey, I want to take this time off for my birthday. So I can just really enjoy, like resting, relaxing, do whatever I want, whatever it is I want." And I told that my assistant, which helped me tell the team, which helped me block things out so that everything is gonna get done on time. No one is gonna be like, "Where's Lesley?" And I actually can take time off without anyone bothering me. It's so exciting. (Brad: Yeah.) So but it does require you communicate these things. And I know that can be like, I want to tell people my goals are in case I like screwed up. If the people around you are going to judge you because you said you weren't going to have a drink that week. And then you did. That's probably a sign that they're not on your team.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, they're definitely not supporting you. It's true. It's true. 

All right. So finally, let's talk about those BE IT action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Sara Frenza.

Lesley Logan  

She had seven action items for you guys. And I really love these because some people think that meal prepping is like only somebody who has a really organized schedule can do but ...

Brad Crowell  

Or like people who are like, trying to be in weight training competitions do.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. But like you grew up with some meal prepping, your mom did some stuff. And (Brad: I did. Yeah.) Yeah. And I remember there was a time when my parents had like, planned things out. And then there was a day where it was like leftover day, which is obviously the day that I hated. But then there was the then there was ...

Brad Crowell  

I love leftovers.

Oh, my God. (Brad: That's great.) Your parents must have not had you eat lamb and beans. Anyway, (Brad: No, lamb and beans in my house ...) So I'm gonna, I'm gonna read these out, seven meal prep tips. So step one ...

Lesley Logan  

Plan out your meals.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, this is not very complicated. Just you need to know what meals you're cooking for.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Number two, meal prep in batches. So she talked about making two proteins and then two carbs and just kind of mix and matching. Think of this ladies. I put on my college y'all. But like, I'm thinking like all my magazines, capsule wardrobe. Capsule Wardrobe, right? (Brad: Oh, yeah.) You have like, one you have a pair of pants, two different pairs of pants, two different tops, and like a bold statement something and like the magazine (Brad: couple pair of shoes) shows you seven ways to put these two things together. So that's how (Brad: That's right.) it, right. So literally, if you capsule wardrobe, you can meal prep, you've already done it. You've already figured this out.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. And she actually talked about making like chicken and I can't remember what the other protein was and then two types of carbs so she made sweet potato fries and rice. And she said she took the chicken and made a buffalo chicken salad. She you could pull the chicken apart and make like a graded chicken thing.

Lesley Logan  

If you're watching this on YouTube Brad is mimicking (Brad: Yeah, I'm mimicking ...) like these claws that we have. So you can basically like for non cook, (Brad: shred the chicken) you just take a bunch of chicken breasts, you just cook them all on a on a pan at some temperature and then some of those can be chopped up for a chop salad, some of those key pulled apart for a pulled chicken sandwich buffalo sauce like. Right. (Brad: Yeah.) Yeah.

Brad Crowell  

And it was crazy. She was like yeah, I use the and she cooked them all at the same time. She had an instant pot going you know the oven going up and going and whatever I don't remember and she's like boom cooked all these things and was able to take the proteins on the carbs and then mix max, mix match and creating these different meals. And then step three

Lesley Logan  

is freeze the extras

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, so she specifically talked about stuffed peppers and brown rice and she said yeah, you know I overcook on the brown rice on purpose. And she made and a couple extra stuffed peppers and then she throws them on the freezer.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. (Brad: Yeah.) And so if you're like, "Ah my fridge is really small." Yeah, ours too. (Brad: ... Yeah.) It doesn't fit a pizza box and ... (Brad: No, it literally doesn't.) That's a contention in this house. But what if you just tried like yes she said chicken maybe you're a vegan? What if you just gave, what if like you just beat it till you saw it when it came (Brad: beat it?) yeah, beat it. Just to beat it. Anyways, so what if you just tried it like what if it was possible to whatever your dietary restrictions are? What if you actually just try to plan the meals out and then actually grocery shop for those meals and then try to cook all the stuff and one day so that it was ready to go?

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, my, the store you were talking about ... (Lesley: We haven't finish the seven steps guys.) The last episode was my mom and her friend used to meal prep, because both families had three kids with crazy soccer field baseball field schedules, and, you know, the spouses were working, and then we'd get together on one weekend, a month, and they would literally make every meal for the entire month.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I mean, this is a house that has two fridges. So

Brad Crowell  

No, my mom had an extra freezer in the basement that was like one of those like leftover freezers (Lesley: Two fridges and a freezers?) Two fridges and a freezer.

Lesley Logan  

Okay, so a month is the month, (Brad: And that's very ambitious, that's very ambitious.) I would go, do one week at a time, or maybe just three days. And then like, go from there. So like, you know, baby step this to badassness. But I love that I think that's great, because actually what it made me just realize, and I didn't even know this until now, you guys, if you are running out of time to work on things that are gonna help you be it till you see it. And it's called cooking that is taking up all the time, meal prep. (Brad: meal prep) If you could gain, if you could spend two hours on a Sunday, or Saturday, and you could gain back 30 minutes every night, five minutes a week, like when what like, you don't need two hours at a time to work on your goal because that is overwhelming. Especially there's so much uncertainty, there's a lot of fear in there things take the time to get it. So if you had 30 minutes every day to dedicate to moving yourself forward, and you just spent one afternoon prepping like a badass on the meals. Like imagine what you could get done.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, and my you know, today my parents are empty nesters. Right. And but they still meal meal prep. And it's really well the way they do is really impressive. So if my mom (Lesley: ... are doing this.) if my mom ever has to chop up like a pepper, she'll chop the entire pepper, she'll chop the entire onion. And then what she does is she takes them and puts it on a mini cookie sheet and lays them out so they're not touching each other. And then she puts them in the freezer for like 20 or 30 minutes, and then takes it out of the freezer and puts them in a ziplock and then she throws the whole ziplock into now it's condensed, they're touching each other, but they're partly frozen. So they don't freeze into a big block, basically.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, that'show you do it. (Brad: Yeah.) Well, that's ...

Brad Crowell  

And then if she ever needs that ingredient, she's already got pre chop to the right size stuff. And then they do the same thing with chicken, they'll go to the store, they'll get a whole bunch of chicken. And what they'll actually do is they'll take like the bigger chicken breasts, and they'll they'll slice them up into smaller pieces. And then at the beginning of the week, they'll pull out like, you know, six chicken, you know, cutlets that they basically have frozen. And so they know three meals that week, they'll be able to have chicken because it's thought out. (Lesley: Yeah. So ...) So super quick and easy.

Lesley Logan  

For the for the people who are like, "Hey, you stopped at the third step."

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. Let's go on to step four.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, create multiple meals out of the protein and carbs. So this is where you get to go back to the plan that you had and go oh, like I was able to like this doesn't have to be like I have a chicken breast every night. Like you're prepping for some sort of weight training thing. It can be like, as Brad mentioned, pulled chicken chopped chicken. It could be there's a sauce on this one. This one's in a salad. This one's in a burrito. You know, this one's in a sandwich. So then pre chop all fruits and vegetables, prepackaged for easy grabbing and go. I just skipped ahead all things

Brad Crowell  

Well, that was a little different. So she's actually talking about the full meal. (Lesley: Oh, you're right. You're right.) Like breakfast, lunch, dinner. She so just think about how much time we spent prepping food during the day. And I ...

Lesley Logan  

This is like definitely if you're about to, (Brad: It's a time stuff.) well, this is like packing lunches. This is all (Brad: Sure.) kind of stuff. So you all might need to go to like the container store or the target section with all the lovely containers and then you pull them out and then go okay, there's lunches, okay, this means a nice things. Okay, this thing is this thing, and then you could put them in a frigerator and put a post it note or, you know, some sort of way of identifying the ...

Brad Crowell  

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. (Lesley: Yeah.) Yeah, exactly.

Lesley Logan  

You know how there was like, labeled underwear. Like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday underwear. Did you not have that? (Brad: No ...) Every girl listener is nodding their head right now and I thought that was so terrible. (Brad: That's hilarious.) Because here's why. I didn't want to wear the Wednesday underwear on Monday just because it's clean. Because if anyone saw my underwear, they'd be like, You're wearing Wednesday's underwear. Ew." You so like, anyways, sides, right? This is a problem I had in my life. But what if you could buy food containers that had like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. I'm sure they exists. (Brad: Yeah ... 100%) Not sponsor by the show. Okay. Um, lastly ...

Brad Crowell  

So that's she also mentioned in this step six prepackaged for easy grab and go, pre making lunches for your kids. So you have to do it in the morning.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. And then make breakfast for the full week. And this is like especially like Monday through Friday, you guys, I love overnight oats. So (Brad: Yeah.) easy, so easy to make, you can make a whole week's worth of overnight oats in one setting and I challenge you to make it take longer than seven minutes. I challenge you.

Brad Crowell  

To do the whole week. Yeah ...

Lesley Logan  

Because because here's the deal. First of all, here's how it goes. Ready? It's one part oats, one part oat, or almond milk or some milk of choice. So if you do one cup, it's one cup, two cups, two cups, so it's really easy. Then you add in any other flavors or things you want. Probably not that nuts. (Brad: blueberry) I keep the fresh fruits out but dried fruits I'd put in just because they soften up and they flavorize. Is that a word? (Brad: Yeah. We'll take it.) We're just adding words here. To the thing and then I like to add some protein powder to it, some fiber, some flax and chia seeds, because that also makes it nice and filling. Then you put it in your container. So if you know you're gonna have half a cup every day or a cup every day, whatever you need to eat, then you'll go okay, Monday through Friday. That's five, right? So it's it's a big bowl, you need at least seven hours of it to be over it for an overnight oats. So it doesn't actually have to even be like, done the weekend before it can be done the night before. Boom, it's ready. And then you can scoop them out into or New York Times does this they also don't sponsor the show, but they sent me an email every week about overnight oats. And they take mason jars. And they literally make individual overnight oats in mason jars.

Brad Crowell  

So pull it from the fridge with a spoon. Done. (Lesley: Yes.) Ready to go. That's kinda cool. It's clever.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell  

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan  

Thank you so much for joining us today. How are you going to use these tips in your life? We want to know, tag us at the @be_it_pod, tag Sara Frenza. Send your questions, your longtime listener first time caller, request to us on Instagram or on email or whatever the things. Then if you want that phone number as he asked earlier, let us know and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell  

Bye for now.

Lesley Logan  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!    

Be It Till You See It is a production of Bloom Podcast Network.    

Brad Crowell  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan. And me Brad Crowell. Our associate producer is Amanda Frattarelli.  

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.     

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.     

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Mesh Herico for creating all of our visuals, (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week, so you can.

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each episode, so you can find it on our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

It’s not a fad diet. It's not another workout to add that will leave you disappointed. This episode holds the key to transforming your health and making the change stick with strategic ways to make sure you are taken care of first. Everything from the beginning stages of the journey to tips for meal prep. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How you make health and fitness a priority 
• Sharing and allowing support in the journey 
• Non-scale victories
• Why you need a list of non-negotiables
• Seven tips to meal prep made easy

BIO: 

Sara Frenza is a mom to 2 girls, published fitness model & writer, nutrition and body transformation coach, and owner of Sara Frenza Fitness and Nutrition. After gaining over 40 lbs., with each of her pregnancies, she tried multiple diets and programs desperate to find a solution to build a body I felt good about. She finally found a sustainable way to lose over 50 lbs., change her body composition and how to keep the weight off forever. Her mission is to teach other women how to eat and lift their way to the body of their dreams. Through her 1:1 coaching program, she helps women get into shape without restrictive dieting or hours of cardio through her exclusive Restore, Lean out and Sustain body transformation protocol that gets women results forever

Episode References/Links:

• Sara Frenza Fitness website
• Follow Sara on IG

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

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• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 

Hi, Be It babe. Okay, I'm super excited about today's episode. Hello, how are you? How are you really? That's that question that my Breathwork Coach likes to send an email and I always am like, "How am I really right now?" So how are you really? How's it going? You know, it is New Year, lots of stuff going on. And I am excited for today's guest for a couple of reasons. One, she's a mom of two girls. Two, she had a job transformation and life transformation. And it all stemmed from her not enjoying where she was in her life at the time. And I think that if you are someone who has had those moments you're like, "I'm just really frustrated. This is not going the way I want it to go." And thinking that you are the only one a) you're not the only one and b) that is a good place to be. It is. You're like, "Lesley how's that like a place to be?" Because you can't you're not going to change from a place of like, oh, it's going okay. It's fine. Like fine is not like a transformational place. But this fucking sucks. This blows, I don't like how I feel. I don't like, I don't like the energy I'm putting out into the world. I don't like how frustrated I get at things. Like those moments are key for making transformation for making change, for recognizing. Wow, I am so off the path that I wanted to be on right now. And I hope you will hear in her story is how, one, how she actually how she found her thing to do. And then also how she, how she reached out and told people and took them along on the journey. We do not have to do these things alone. Being it till you see it does not mean it is me and me alone. No, it means acting like the person who would have the thing you want to have. How would that person act right now. So remember my story of like, if I'm a CEO of a company, what would I do if I don't know how to do this thing? Oh, the CEO of a company asked someone to help them they have people on their team. So who do I have to ask? Right? So these are the kinds of things I want you thinking about when it comes to taking care of yourself becoming the person you want to have now, not later. Becoming that person you want to be now, have that in your life now. We do not need to wait. So I really like this this episode again. You'll hear her story, you'll hear her journey. She's gonna hear your tips. And I really we talked a lot in her BE IT action items because I'm all about prioritizing yourself and saving yourself time. And this is a really great way to do it. So anyways, have fun with this episode. Let me know how you like it, share it with a friend. By the way, if you leave a review on Spotify, Apple or anything like that, and you screenshot that review and you email it to the [email protected]. We can give you a free gift course on how to create a habit quickly. So if you want to implement these BE IT action items more quickly in your life, you're gonna want to have that course. So make sure you screenshot your review and send to the [email protected] All right, here Sara Frenza.

Lesley Logan  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan  

All right, Be It babe. I am so excited because I have Sarah Frenza on the show today. And I actually met her through another podcast guests we've had on, you remember Jennifer van Barneveld, van Barneveld-Pe. Wow, I said it's so good when I interviewed her. She's a dear friend of mine. And so I love how small the world is, when when women who support women just get together. It's like, oh, here's like, you know, so and so. And it just the the daisy chain of awesomeness continues. And so Sara, thank you for being on the show. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you're working on these days?

Sara Frenza  

Yeah, thank you so much for having me. I'm super excited to be here. So first of all, I'm a mom to two girls, and I'm in nutrition and body transformation coach. I'm a published fitness model and writer, two time cover model and owner of Sara Frenza of Fitness and Nutrition. And that's a little bit about what I do right now after going through, you know, my own body transformation, or actually I should call life transformation. I decided that I also wanted to help other women, you know, make their health and fitness a priority and help them and guide them through that. So that's when I decided to also you know, become a coach myself and try and help women feel incredible like like I had experienced going through you know, while I was making my health and fitness a priority.

Lesley Logan  

Wow, I, so you would not haven't always been on this journey. You were doing something before. What made you realize that like, you had to make your health and fitness a priority? Like what was the was like, the you know, how there's like ... (Sara: The moment.) The moment. What was that moment?

Sara Frenza  

So so with me, during both of my pregnancies, you know, I had gained a lot of weight. Yeah. And I felt really, really uncomfortable with where I was. But besides all of that, what had happened is that I started feeling some physical symptoms. So I started getting a lot of lower back pain, I started getting plantar I had plantar fasciitis as well, too. And I was we were, we were building a new home. And during that time, I was living with my parents for nine months. And both my girls were four and two years old. And I was experiencing a lot of pain. And I often had to ask my parents who were in their 70s to help me because you know, I don't know if you've, if you know what plantar fasciitis is, if you've ever experienced it. (Lesley: It's terrible.) It's brutal. It's terrible. Like, I thought my foot was broken. So it was at that point where I felt, wow, I am not even 40 years old. And I have a two year old and a four year old and I'm relying on my parents and also my husband to help me. And I felt like I needed to give more to my girls, you know that I wasn't showing up for them. And I knew it was because you know, I wasn't taking care of my health and fitness. I wasn't exercising at that time. I wasn't really making nutrition a priority. And I felt that that moment. This is what happens when you don't (Lesley: Yeah) take care of your health and fitness. Right. (Lesley: Yeah) So it was it was that moment that I decided I need to do something. And not only that, like, I remember going to the chiropractor, and the chiropractor was trying to help me like recover from my lower back pain and everything and she's like, "Your, your, your core is so weak, like, you have to work on that." And, and I was like, "Okay, like she's telling me this, my my body is physically telling me something's not right." And it was at that moment that I decided I needed to do something. So I started off with just trying to eat a little bit healthier, like, you know, make some better choices when it came to nutrition. But then I one of my friends worked with Coach JVB you know, Jenny (Lesley: Yeah) and Jennifer van Barneveld-Pe. And I saw her amazing transformation. And I said, like, "What, what did you do?" Because I was really looking for help at that time. (Lesley: Yeah) And that's when I reached out to Jenny. And I hired her as a coach. (Lesley: Yeah) And she really, she got me into the best shape of my life. But she also taught me a very sustainable way to live a healthy lifestyle. You know, it was no like fad diet. It was just about lifting to get stronger. And it was about this is how we properly nourish your body. (Lesley: Yeah) And it was you know, she she's amazing. You know her right?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I think like I love, I just want to highlight a couple of things like I think when I loved also in your intro, you said like life transformation. I think people can get really hung up on like, if you're focusing on your fitness and nutrition that it must be because you want to look a certain way and like that might be part of it. That could be some people's motivation. But it doesn't have to be, it can also just be that like, you have this one body. And if you want to keep up with life, (Sara: Yes) you it there has to be some muscular abilities in there. Your core is very key, it has to be strong, otherwise you will have lower back pain. Plantar fasciitis is no joke. I mean runners get it too, a lot of people. That's why I love Pilates because there's specific exercises that actually force the foot to stretch in a way so you can prevent that. (Sara: Oh good.) It's cool. Yeah. (Sara: Yeah) And my clients hate it because I'm like, "No, I want that p... I want those toes curled the other way." And they're like, "But that's I don't like to do that." I'm like, "Your, if your foot can't do that, you're gonna have plantar fasciitis my loves." But I am I love that we point this out because I think one, we always have to be ready. So if you're listening this and you're like, you're this sounds like something you've been like thinking about, but you're not there yet. It's, it's okay. Like, no one can force you to get on the journey sooner than you want. And so until you're ready, (Sara: Yeah) you know, keep paying attention to the things that you want that you don't like. But you know, know that that's the thing. And then also, you had you got help. And I (Sara: Yeah) think that that's worth highlighting, because I think so often we see people go through whatever their transformation is, whether it's a job or relationship or anything, and we think, ah, you know, wow, I couldn't do it. They waited. Well, you didn't do it alone, like most people that you see who go through a transformation, except for like that Tom Hanks movie where he was by himself. And even then, they had Wilson, like, we don't, we don't go through things alone. (Sara: No) So so how, what what did you find helped you in your transformation the most? Was it the weights? Or was it your, like, the way you fueled yourself? Was it the way that you prioritized yourself? Was it easy to do these things? Like did your family get on board?

Sara Frenza  

Yeah, well, you know, what, here's so I want to point out one thing as well, too, like I, I'm a mom, I have two young kids, I had a, I had a full time career in marketing and sales. I got the help because I didn't want to waste time. Right? Was the biggest thing is like, I didn't want to waste time. And for me to in order to make my health and fitness a priority, like I really needed to be organized with my time. And, and what helped me, I mean, it was both of them, the nutrition and the strength training that really helped me. But in terms of getting like, really, really organized with myself, like, I had to spend the time on the weekend to plan out my week and do meal, prepping and setting that all up so that I can properly you know, fuel myself and my family. And my husband was really supportive, super onboard, you know, wasn't was eating everything that I would, I would make, and also my girls, I was introducing them to new foods as well, too. And actually teaching them, we need protein, you know, it's really important to eat the protein. And now they make fun of me all the time. Because they you know, where's your protein, because I've been teaching them that as well. But they also see me lifting weights to get strong. And that is one thing, you know, that I really, really want to always teach them is like, "Mommy is lifting weights to be strong, so that I can play with your kids one day." You know, "Mommy is lifting weights to be strong, so that I can do all the things that you want to do." Right. So I'm really encouraging them to lift and get strong. And we work out together on Saturdays, sometimes, (Lesley: Oh, I love that.) you know, downstairs at my home gym, and you know, they try to work out with me, but the message is always, we need to get strong, and I want you to get strong as well, too. And that's the most important thing is that we're lifting to to get stronger so that we can have a better life. (Lesley: Yeah) But I think both of them together, it was both the strength training and the nutrition part of it that really it's a combination of the two of them.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, and it sounds like your family was was on board because they could tell like the goals of it. And I think like, you know, I think a lot of times, it doesn't matter what their goal is, if you're listening to this that goal doesn't have to be a body transformation, it can be a vision of a job or switching up a schedule or, or anything like that. (Sara: Yeah) If we we have to communicate what that goal is and why we're doing it so that people around us can get on board. Otherwise, they don't (Sara: Yeah) actually know how to help you. And so they might ... seem like obstacles, and I'm sure there's some dicks out there. But like most people who love you, want to support you and whatever that transformation is, but we have to communicate that. And since you're (Sara: Yeah) I do want to go back to like how you switch careers. But while we're on this topic, like you're a coach, you coach, a lot of women. Have you seen, have you seen that most of the women that you coach, the people in their life get on board? Or have you had to work with them on how to handle maybe those people who aren't on board?

Sara Frenza  

Yeah, I always tell, tell my clients that you know, speak to your partner, right? And let them know what this what this is all about and what what you're doing because some, you know, if you don't communicate that with your partner, and you're kind of like doing your own thing they might feel resentment towards you, that things are changing, and they don't want to do it either. But I think it's important. Yes, I do talk to my clients, like you need to communicate, but I also let them know there are going to be people that are not supportive in your journey. There's always going to be those people that are not supportive of your journey and how to deal with that as well. Right. And, you know, as long as the people that are closest to you, you're communicating with them and they could see that it's not just about a body transformation. It's more really about a life transformation. Because, you know, even when I coach my clients weekly, we talk about all of the non scale victories that are happening in their life. They're sleeping better, their energy levels are higher, they're they have the ability to like, move and play with their children, you know, your life is changing. They're building up confidence within their life that they can, you know, it has a domino effect and everything else that they're doing, you know, (Lesley: Yeah) they show up better for everyone else around them.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I want to highlight you said non scale victories. Y'all, this is like really important to me, we've had my friend Jenny Schatzle on as well. And she's really big on non scale victories, because for so many reasons, the scale should not be the thing that tells us we're good (Sara: No) enough. Or we're (Sara: Yeah, yeah) gonna have a good day. And I really don't (Sara: Absolutely) understand that, that that how quickly we were trained that that scale is what tells us if we're good enough for today, but really like, are you sleeping? And like, do you have energy, one of one of my guests who was just on Claire Sparrow, she talked about transformation, she is actually a pelvic floor therapist, coach. (Sara: Oh) And so she had a client who had a victory, which was, I just played cricket with my kids. And I didn't even think that I couldn't do it. Like, it didn't even occur to me that and she's like, and I didn't leak and didn't have any problems. And so like, those are the reasons for like, those are the wins you're looking for. It's not like, (Sara: Absolutely) I think we didn't really hyper focus on the actual thing we're doing. But there's other things and there's other wins around us that we have to focus on. And so when you prioritize your health, and well, wellness, like, there's going to be other things that go that get better. And we have to be attuned to that. So we can see, and we can share it with our family, because maybe you might have someone who doesn't understand that you prioritizing yourself actually benefits them. So you can actually sha... share those wins. Hey, this week, I actually got excited to, you know, go to dinner with you, as opposed to like, I'm exhausted today. This was the longest day of my life. (Sara: Yeah) So I want to go back in time, because you said it earlier, you were in marketing at the time, like so, I imagine (Sara: Yeah) like what I know of marketing, and that's a stressful business. That's a lot of hours. You've young girls, you have a husband. And now you coach people. So one, what was how, what was that transformation, like in your life to go from working on this job to work on this job? And then also like, how did it, was it like the easiest bridge to make? Or like, what were the obstacles along the way?

Sara Frenza  

Yeah, so once I really experienced and I had worked with Coach JVB, I saw how much my life has cha... had changed. Like, I felt like I was myself, but better, I felt like I was showing up as my best self every day. And I thought, you know, I always was walking around feeling like, there's more to life to this, like, I don't feel like what I am doing is what I meant to be doing. Like, I was really good at my job, you know, and I enjoyed it. But I really walked around feeling like there, I needed to do something more. And it was that point, you know, I talked to my coach at the time and, and I told her, you know, I think I want to start coaching women. I would really love to do this. I want other women to experience this. Because I have seen how much it has really impacted my life, not only the way I was looking, but it was honestly my mindset and how it was showing up everywhere else in my life. I could really see that I was so confident. All my goals that I wanted to reach all of a sudden I had the ability to do it. (Lesley: Yeah) You know, things that I had put on the backburner for years, you know, when when I put my health and fitness I made my health and fitness a priority. And I felt strong not only physically but also mentally, I was able to accomplish all these goals. So then she was very supportive of me, kind of gave me direction in terms of like what certifications I wanted to take. And part of my certification for one of them is I actually had to work with people as part two in order to get my certification. So that's how I started coaching women. So I had three women that I was coaching for, you know, for free as part of what to get my certification. And then I kind of did it on a on a at the side. (Lesley: Yeah) And because I was already sharing my story on Instagram, like I'm very active on Instagram and I was always sharing my story, sharing my recipes, giving everybody tips like really just wanting to help people (Lesley: Yeah) live a more healthier lifestyle (Lesley: Yeah) that when people found out that I was coaching, I had a lot of interest. So I had to make a decision. You know, things were just snowballing for me, so many people wanted to work with me that I had to make a decision. Do I want to pursue this full time or do I still want to, or do I want to keep it as a side hustle? And I went to my employer and I, and I told them, you know, this is what I want to do. Can I go part time so that I could focus on my business because I couldn't do it having a full time and (Lesley: Yeah) it being a side hustle. And they were really understanding, thankfully, they were very understanding and very supportive and said, "Yeah, no problem. We'll let you go part time." And my business just kept growing and growing and snowballing and and when I told them that I was envisioning a year until I could leave. Right. I wish ...

Lesley Logan  

... I had such a parallel story. So yes, keep going. I know where it's going now.

Sara Frenza  

So I told them, like I told them in January, it's it'll probably be a year from now that I will need to leave full time because I was thinking I was thinking, I don't know how quickly my business is gonna go. (Lesley: Yeah) And it came a month later, not even a month and a half later, I said to them, "I'm sorry, but I have to leave the end of April." So I told them beginning of January, and then I gave them enough notice so that they could find somebody I said like, "You have to find somebody so I can train them." So by the end of April, I went, I was out of my other job and full time doing the coaching beginning of May. (Lesley: Yeah) So (Lesley: Yeah) it just snowballed.

Lesley Logan  

So I so a couple things for those who are like following along with the story, like, listen, listen to it, she shared her whole journey the whole time. And I know that like when we're in it, it doesn't feel very good to share. It doesn't have to be that you share like your rock bottoms. But you can share your passion for why you're doing something the purpose for it's the same reason she shared with her family, so they could be on board with her with her new changes and her prioriti... prioritizing herself. Then she was also sharing that with people who are following her so that when she said, "Now I'm doing this," she took them along on this journey. Again, the more you can take people on the journey with you, the easier the journey is, it's not fun by yourself. And then, because you're so passionate about it, and because you were sharing with people what worked for you, people could see like you're walking the talk. And I think this is where even if you're like, "Lesley, I've already gone through my journey. It's too late for me to do that right now." Here's the deal, if you are not walking your talk, you people can tell and it becomes you feel like you have to market yourself more. But if you are sharing, "Hey, this is my schedule for this week of me making sure I have my sessions. And this is my schedule this week so that I can see my kids and do the thing that I love." If you share those things, people go, "Oh my gosh, like, I want to be able to work with someone, this person knows how to do that. And I'm struggling with that. I'm struggling with prioritizing, myself first." So it's not that you'd be perfect at it. Because we always know at this podcast that that's boring. But sharing your (Sara: Yeah) process allows people to resonate with you and see that you get what they're going through, and that you understand where they're coming from. And that makes a huge difference. When I was, when I became a Pilates instructor, um, I thought I would just do it on the side as well. And then I got so busy. I was like, teaching at 6am and 7am at the gym, driving in LA traffic all the way across town to run my store. I was a manager of this boutique. And then I would two nights a week close up there the night the mornings that I didn't do 6am's those nights, I had a 7pm client, right. So I like left the store at 6:30 drove across town to the studios renting space, taught my evening clients. And then on my day off, I was teaching clients and so I was basically working seven days a week at this point. And I loved it and didn't realize it until I was like, "Wow, I don't actually have any way of like saying yes to anything other than this." (Sara: Yeah) And so, so I was like, "Can I go, hi, can I go part time? And I'll train my replacement. And I'll be here, I'll do this two days a week and then I'll you know, I can do everything before after on other days." Anyways 30 days later, I realized that I couldn't do that. And so before they fired the person that was part time already. I was like, "I just did, I just have to go. I can't do it. I'm too busy."

Sara Frenza  

Yeah. And that's such a great feeling to to be able to do that. And I think you know, when you're when you're doing what you're so passionate about, like for me it didn't feel like a job even when I had my side hustle. It was just I was so focused on it and it was probably the same for you as well. I was just so focused on it was really, really passionate about it. I scheduled my days so that I can do what I wanted to do. And I think you know, once you go into you know, I've never owned my own business before this is the first time you know I've ever owned my own business, but I think managing those two really gave me a lot of skills to become an entrepreneur. And (Lesley: Yeah) like, "How do I organize everything? What's the priority to me? What needs to get done right away. So like, I'm not wasting time." So during that transition period where I was working a full time job doing this as a side hustle, being a mom, being a wife, you know, running my family, you know, I really needed to my days were completely scheduled out. (Lesley: Yeah) And I needed it to be like that, because I had to, it was a priority for me, I really, really wanted (Lesley: Yeah) wanted this.

Lesley Logan  

So I have a question because a lot of times what I what happens to people is they find something that like changes their life, they then become the teacher of that thing, which is fine. There's nothing wrong with this. It's how we all get there. And then their ability to participate in their own version of that their own time. So for you it's training like working yourself out for maybe like doing my own Pilates sessions. For yoga teachers, it's often their own yoga like, did that happen in your life? Or and if so, how did you handle it? Or how did you make sure it didn't happen? Like how did you make sure that your workouts even when you had a full time job and the kids and this and your side hustle. How did you keep your self a priority?

Sara Frenza  

It was non negotiable for me. It's always been non negotiable, non negotiable for me, because I know when I don't do that, I know how my life looks like, I can go back and remember how my life looks like when I didn't put those things into place. So for me, I always, you know, I always do my morning workouts, it became a habit, it became part of my lifestyle. So my workouts are non negotiable. I work out, I get up early, that's when I get them done. I'm a mom, I have a career, this is the only time that it fits into my schedule. And the other thing was with respect to nutrition is that I I spend the time meal planning and meal prepping on the weekend. (Lesley: Yeah) Especially Sunday's is my meal prep Sundays, I do some maybe Saturday or Friday as well, too. But that is really, really key for me to make sure that my meals are organized for myself and my family for the entire week because things will always come up. (Lesley: Yeah) And I know that if my nutrition is not on point, I'm not reaching my nutritional goals. I'm not feeling really good. And it's it's very important to me. (Lesley: Yeah) So these things become non negotiable to me.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, we've had some other guests on who've talked about like, like, like nutrition. And the reality is y'all is like, I think, at least I think it's changed a lot. But I remember growing up whenever you'd hear about nutrition and like recipes, all of a sudden, like I would told my grandfather, "I was on a gluten free diet." And he's like, "You're so skinny." I'm like, "It's not a weight loss thing. It's just like how I eat my food." You know what I mean? (Sara: Yeah) So like, I think we underestimate like, no matter where you are in your journey, you're the ability to fuel your body correctly and the way it needs to be. And we've had other guests on who's like, it's so specific, every single one of us has a specific need for how we have to get our through our day. You can't be the best version of yourself in anything if you are not fueled. I am a hangry bitch. Like I have, like, if I have not set on a normal cadence. I mean, (Sara: Yes) I mean, the only time I can go out of my cadence is on a flight because like you're just who even knows and I would rather not eat that food. So it's like, I mean, even then I know that the food's gonna be terrible. So I have like these protein cookies, and I'm like, this, (Sara: Yeah) pretty much gives me everything that I need, I'm going to feel really good. And I can get to I can get to the next meal without being a hangry person, but it's distracting. Your brain doesn't fire you, you can't get those ideas and you think, "Oh, it's because I'm tired. But I slept last night." It's not you didn't sleep, it's that you didn't fuel yourself for the day your car can't run on empty, you know?

Sara Frenza  

Absolutely, absolutely. And actually, you know, a lot of women that come to me are really under eating a lot. And they don't understand, you know, what's going on? Like, "Why am I so tired? Why do I have brain fog? Why, you know, what, why don't I have any strength? Like, why can I sleep?" And then I make sure that they're properly fueling themselves and eating the amount of food that they need to eat. And they cannot believe in two to four weeks, how much better they feel. (Lesley: Yeah) And all in all I tell them it's because we're properly nourishing your body. You're now your body has the fuel that it needs, so that you can run it at an optimal level. And I think like I'm in my 40s, a lot of my clients are between the ages of 40 to 60 and they've been brought up to be through this diet culture of like trying not to eat, you know (Lesley: Yeah) or not being you know, and I'm like ....

Lesley Logan  

Oh you're 100% correct. Iliza Shlesinger who someday I should have on the show, y'all if you know her, please hook a sister up. But she said one of her most recent specials says like, ladies, whatever weight you were at 12 that's what the world expects you to stay forever, no matter what, like, you just have to stay at this. Like, that's basically what like, all the magazines brought us up on like, you know, all these like, under 100 calorie snacks like all this stuff. (Sara: Yeah) And it's like actually like, you know, if you're eating (Sara: eating more) properly, if you're eating good foods, you can eat more, you can have more (Sara: Yeah) food. And like, I didn't know that I definitely had to like retrain my mind on those things that I remember. Also, like, make sure there's no fat in anything, which just means there's more sugar in everything, and no wonder you're hungry and cranky.

Sara Frenza  

Yeah. And the other thing too, is that, you know, we're not getting enough protein in our diet is what I'm seeing, like with a lot of you know, a lot of women as well too, and they feel so much better. But my mission is really to teach women like, this is how we have to properly nourish our bodies, you know, (Lesley: Yeah) and if you're strength training, and fueling your body properly, you're going to feel strong, that how you look will be a byproduct, (Lesley: Yeah) right of everything that you're doing. But it's just, you know, trying to really educate everyone and my client's, like, you need to fuel your body at the end of the day, you know, (Lesley: Yeah) and none of this, this thing that you've learned all these years, like, get it out of your mind, we're going in a completely different direction. And I see more and more coaches out there, like myself to have the same methodology or the same type of thing, like, we need to feel your body you have to eat. You will feel a lot better.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. It's so true. And like, I just keep thinking, you know, to, you know, especially for the mamas listening to this, like, actions are caught not taught. We've had many moms in the health and wellness space on here. And they all are talking about like, they've all said it, you have to prioritize yourself first so that your kids also (Sara: better) see that that's, that's actually a future for me. You know, like, I think it was Jenny Schatzle, who had like, one of her, one of her nieces, or somebody that said, "Oh, I can't I, I wish I could be a mom and a journalist." And they're like, "What?" And it was like, like, the kid thought they could only be one thing, because they only see people like do one or the other. They had kids, and they didn't live their dream, or they didn't have kids and they live their dream. And so, you know, the more we can show, the next generation, like actually prioritizing yourself first is not is a non negotiable, and it makes you a better person, fueling yourself properly non negotiable. It's not a privileged thing. It's like, and it and we might have to get creative, depending on what you have access to and what finances you have. But like it is a possibility. And it's and it shouldn't be something you wait till later. And you'll just like, you know, I'll just have this like, this carrot thing over here. That's fine, have the carrot but like, also, like have the sandwich too. You know? (Sara: Yeah, yeah.) Like, I think what is what I what I love about your story is that you went from someone who had like this intense job, had these kids who loved your family, obviously, we're doing great things with them. But you didn't feel good to going out making sure you felt good and getting your family on board. And now you teach women how that they can have that too. And I think it's really frickin cool. So y'all, we're gonna take a quick break and I am going to ask, I'm gonna make sure you know where you ... find Sara, follow her. We also have some BE IT action items. I'm really excited for you to hear. Okay, Sara, where can people find you, follow you, work with you?

Sara Frenza  

Okay, well I'm very very active on Instagram. So you can find me there. My handle is sara, so @sara_frenza. And you can also visit my website which is sarafrenzafitness.com. Those are the two places that you could find me and if you want to email me, my both my email contact information are on both Instagram and my website.

Lesley Logan  

Wonderful. Okay, bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps. What are your BE IT action items for our listeners today?

Sara Frenza  

Okay, so my action items are how to seven tips to meal prep made easy. So number one is going to be plan what you want to eat for the week, planned out your meals for the week. Know what you want, then go grocery shopping to get everything that you need. Because I'm telling you, when you plan out what you want to eat, it will save you time, it will save you money. The second thing that I will recommend when it comes to meal prepping is to batch cook. And so this is a really great one. What I like to do is to make one protein and one carb and then I'll make dif... sorry, two proteins, two carbs and then I make different meals out of it. So that you know I'm creating maybe four or five different meals and of those those two carbs and those two proteins. The other thing is to freeze your food. So if you're batch cooking and making a lot of things ahead of time, you can freeze food so that you have it there for following weeks. This has really helped me throughout my meal prep. So on those days that you're in a pinch, and maybe something didn't go the way that that you wanted to, you could just pull something out of your freezer. The other thing for meal prepping is, I always kind of pre pre weigh out my food or pre put them in containers ahead of time. So if I'm making my lunches for the entire week, I will put them in containers so that I have my lunch ready to go. And you don't have to think about it. Same with dinners, as well. I'll have that pre done ahead of time so that they're ready to go. With fruits and veggies, I will chop up all my fruit, chop up all my veggies. So and with specially with the fruit, I'll put them in little containers so that my fruits ready to go for the whole week. And I can quickly grab that and go if I'm going to work or I'm on the road. And the other thing that I recommend is preparing your breakfast for the entire week. So you could make things like protein muffins, you could do you said protein cookies, (Lesley: Yeah) I love protein cookies.

Lesley Logan  

I just made overnight oats for the week. And it's not the only part of my breakfast, but it's like part of the breakfast and and the reason I ate that, I made a whole batch for the week is like it's so easy to scoop out and I could put my (Sara: Yeah) collagen in there. I put my fiber in there. I put some other supplements in there. And so I know like, okay, if I'm in a rush, and I like slept in or the dogs got crazy like before I got on this podcast I do at one dog walk into a cactus. I was like dealing with that. I'm like, if this is if I have to eat this on the go, it's got all the carbs, all the protein I would have wanted, like that's I'm good to go. I don't have to. Because I mean, that's the brightest meal most people skip and it's like, hello, you just woke up your body needs some stuff in it.

Sara Frenza  

Absolutely. So yeah, if you get your prep... like your breakfast ready, I always encourage my client like protein muffins, overnight oats, protein cookies, get your breakfast ready for the entire week, get some meals done like you can, you could choose two, I do two meal prep throughout the week, I do Sunday, and then I do Wednesday. So Sunday, I'm meal prepping from Sunday to Wednesday. And then Wednesday night I'll do another little mini mini meal prep. And maybe I'll make some easier kind of foods that I could just throw on the barbecue or in the oven for the rest of the week. But then I have you know, everything ready to go for the entire week. But the breakfast at least you know you have it done for five days in a row. And if you make things like protein muffins or cookies, you can freeze them too. (Lesley: Yeah) I double batch and cook everything. So that I have one week I'm making protein muffins. And the next week I don't have to because I already have stuff that I can pull out on out of my freezer. So

Lesley Logan  

I love this so much and also like so my I remember my mom would actually batch cook, and like it... (Sara: Cool) Because you she we were on a tight budget and so you couldn't just buy groceries and nothing could go bad. So like they would plan out. And they go, "Okay, well, these nights would actually be leftovers from the food from these nights. And then this and it'd be leftover from the food of this night." And so that way they could stretch the thing I know Brad even mentioned, like growing up his mom and another mom would like go to each other's house and like then the kids are playing. (Sara: Yeah) And then they could both meal prep for the whole for both households. And that afternoon and yes, you guys this does require like a block of time on your Sunday or whatever day it is. (Sara: Yeah) But if you didn't like with Brad, I mean, the kids are then playing and you can just like actually focus on this thing over here. And so there's ways of getting creative and making it a possibility in your life.

Sara Frenza  

Yeah, absolutely. So I'll give you an example. Right. So this is what I would do. So I would make like for example, sweet potato fries like sweet potato air fry, air fried, then I would do brown rice, then I would do ground turkey. And then maybe we'll do shredded chicken in in instapot. This is like kind of my 'go to' thing but out of these meal, out of those two carbs. And those two proteins, I would make stuff peppers. I would do buffalo chicken dip, I would make chicken stir fry, and then I would make egg roll in a bowl. So I've got four different meals there and the stuffed peppers, I could freeze. (Lesley: Yeah) So I can make you know a large batch of it. And that's typically what I do every weekend is and I that's what I teach my clients to do as well because most of them are busy. We're all busy. (Lesley: Yeah) And but at the end of the day, you know, you're saving time throughout the week. For me I didn't I love doing this because when I'm done work my dinner's ready. (Lesley: Yeah) You know, I'm not spending an hour and the other thing too is is I say, if you've already got the mess and everything out already, you might as well make the you know, you might as well (Lesley: Yeah) ... that mess and all of that food for the whole week. And another tip I want to give you ladies that are moms that are listening here. Make your lunches for your kids for the next three days if you can, (Lesley: Yeah) and that's been a huge time saver as well too.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I mean, I, when Brad is in a cooking mood when he has got the time, he'll just cook all the chicken breasts like why cook, (Lesley: Yeah) why just cook chicken breasts for the two of us like just, you bought this many just cook them all. Some of them get cut up really small for a salad. Some of it gets like use in a different way. But like it is, it is so much easier because then we're we're cleaning one pan. We're cleaning one pan (Sara: That's correct.) or not like that pan (Sara: That's right.) every single day. And then of course, (Sara: Exactly) guess what? No one wants to clean that pan for dinner the next day. (Sara: Yeah) So, what are we having? I guess we'll have that, you know I mean.

Sara Frenza  

Exactly. And that's what I love too... I'll freeze like we will do the same thing. And I'll freeze like we'll cook up a whole bunch of chicken breasts and then I'll freeze half of it. Or if I'm doing ground turkey, ground chicken, ground beef, I do you know, a few pounds of it. Half of it, I'll use this week, the other half, I'll freeze and I'll take it out. Brown rice freezes really well too, cooked brown rice, there's all of these things that you could do to really stay on top of it. And I teach my clients that as well to like, "Listen, if you're already doing this, double batch it and (Lesley: Yeah) make more and freeze it. Make your life a lot easier so that you're not doing these huge meal preps every week, like you've already got it out, double batch it and do it."

Lesley Logan  

And what I and y'all what I love about this is it doesn't really actually you don't have to be on any body transformation, any kind of meal prepping is key for saving time. (Sara: And money, and money.) And money was so much money. I mean, you heard me say, my family did it because we they were on a budget like this is all that can be spent at the grocery store. Nothing can get thrown away, you know. So like, I think a lot of times we we think of it as a luxury but really it's like the the key to giving you more time back, more time to spend with your family, less time making when you're tired at the end of your workday the last year and it was like, "What am I going to cook tonight?" So then (Sara: Yeah) what do we do? We order in, then we don't feel good, we spent more money. (Sara: Yeah) And we're back in this (Sara: Yeah) vicious cycle of not feeling good enough because we didn't take the time to prioritize what was make, what would be unnecessary to make us feel good.

Sara Frenza  

Yeah. And then taking that first step to like really plan out for the whole week, like what are you gonna have for breakfast? What are you going to have for lunch? What are you going to have for dinner? Even having that plan, you know, and getting the meal prep done. I just feel when you're organized like that, like you feel so much more confident going into your week, knowing that, I made my nutrition a priority. I'm still making my health and fitness a priority. I'm feeding my family with the foods that I know they're going to feel good about and I'm going to feel good about. So it's really key for me and I continue to do it. I still share you know, and I and what I've learned in my tips, I share it with my clients. And if you're if your audience wants it, too. I have a whole seven tips to meal prep with recipes so that (Lesley: Amazing) they can use that. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

Wonderful. We'll make sure we get that link in the show notes for everyone. Y'all, this this has been so great. I started thank you for sharing your journey and allowing people to see that like they can, you can do this with like little kids, you can do this with owning your own business. You can do this with a husband. I think it's really easy for people to think, "Oh, they must have more time than me." And really we all are have the seven the same seven days, the same 24 hours. It's really about utilizing some of them in a strategic way to make sure that you're taking care of first. And so how are you going to use these tips in your life? What are your takeaways from this podcast? Make sure you tag Sara, tag the @be_it_pod. Share this with a friend. Let us know and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day! 

Be It Till You See It is a production of Bloom Podcast Network. 

Brad Crowell  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan. And me Brad Crowell. Our associate producer is Amanda Frattarelli. 

Lesley Logan  

 Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.  

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi. 

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Mesh Herico for creating all of our visuals, (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week, so you can.

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each episode, so you can find it on our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Have you heard of the white coat silence? If not, you may be falling prey to the intimidation and people-pleasing that can happen you step foot into your medical professional's office. Tune into this episode to begin to take back your voice and walk away from each of your doctor appointments with confidence. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Is there a right time to do Pilates? 
• The issue with white-coat silence 
• How you can use your body knowledge for advocacy 
• The preventive to people pleasing with your doctor 
• How you can evaluate your medical professional 
• The importance of having the right people on your team

Episode References/Links:

• Get on the waitlist for the flashcards!
• Let’s go to Cambodia!
• Have a laugh - Seinfield Youtube clip of A Difficult Patient

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Use this link to get your Toe Sox!

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Brad Crowell  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started

Lesley Logan  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the advocational convo I had with Lindsay Moore. I think we made that word up.

Brad Crowell  

No, I looked that up. (Lesley: Okay, well ...) I mean, I replace that, it keeps trying to say a-vocational, but advocational is in the Wiktionary. (Lesley: Oh.) Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

Okay. All right. So, in our last episode, if you haven't yet listened to episode, go back and listen to it now or feel free to pause this one. Listen to it. Don't listen to it. Then listen to this one and go back and listen to it. You're gonna love Lindsay's voice. I'm gonna be really honest. (Brad: She's very sweet.) Go listen to it. If you want to listen to this one first and then the other one. I know people do that this because they tend to listen to things on like the end the week and then they go backwards in time. It's also fine. It's kind of like, knowing the answers before the questions. I don't know. It feels, it feels good. So you do you. It's really what we're saying.

Brad Crowell  

So it's starting at the end of the maze. (Lesley: That's me.) Yes, it is.

Lesley Logan  

Y'all okay, this is not in our notes, but I just have to say this because Brad was in there for this. But I'm in when I was on the Kate Wind podcast, Mom and Me Astrology. They said that like you know as with the way my chart reads, it's like really good with like before and afters. And I didn't say it but I want to say is I'm really focused on the after, and then figuring out how to get from there to the before which is now. So anyway, if you listen to that episode, you know, I like it before and after, but for different reasons.

Brad Crowell  

That is amazing. (Lesley: Okay.) All right. Well, before we get started, we got a couple quick things.

Lesley Logan  

Hello, from Monterey, California. We're at the Balanced Body POT. Y'all. We are at this POT right now. We're going to be in Korea at the South Korea POT and Seoul that is in I think May, and then we're going to be in Miami for that POT. So like, (Brad: Yeah, like this year.) get on the POT train. It's so much fun.

Brad Crowell  

It's a blast.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. How do you get on that? That's a Balanced Body question. But, but but just know that we're there. So we hope to see you. (Brad: Yes.) And if you're in Monterey right now. Well, we're we're here. (Brad: Come and say, Hi.) We're one of the hotels on the main drag. So there you go.

Brad Crowell  

You'll see us bopping around the event. (Lesley: Yeah. Can't miss that.) We already have a table.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. And in a week and a half, we're gonna do a pre sale for the chairs flashcards. Oh my God, I'm so proud of myself. ... I'm so proud of myself because I was I was really worried that this is gonna be another nine month project. But like I've been really meeting the deadlines and the our team is really got my back, we got a really good system going on. So I'm so excited to say that we are literally we going halfway from opening up the opportunity to buy up early so that we can hit print, and then you will get the best deal on the show, on the up, I don't know on the road, on the in the in the ...

Brad Crowell  

On the presale.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, you'll get the best deal. It's the pre sale, it's the best deal. (Brad: Yeah.) It'll be regular price when they come out, just so you know. (Brad: That's right.) So if you're like, "Oh, wait till they ship." You'll just pay more. Thank you, but you can pay less and buy early.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, so we've got a waitlist for you. Only those who are on the waitlist, they're gonna get the hookup. Okay. So you can find that waitlist at opc.me/flashcard waitlist. I'm just gonna say that again, opc.me/flashcard waitlist. And we will put that in the show notes. Because I know it's a mouthful.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. And then the doors are already open for our October retreat. (Brad: What?!) Yep. And if you know, you know, so that's all we're gonna say about that. (Brad: YKYK) All right, do we have a question, Brad?

Brad Crowell  

We do. And actually, this question was sent to you over the gram.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Yeah, it's actually like, I think they were to be honest, I think they're referencing an old YouTube video. So bless them for going back in time. Because I don't, I actually don't do Pilates after I weight train anymore due to my schedule. So I had to like, "Oh, let me update you on my life."

Brad Crowell  

Well, why don't you read the question?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, well probably should do that. My brain ... says, okay, this person said, You mentioned do you like to do Pilates after you weight train. I do Pilates before I weight train is one better than the other. And when I told them was, Wow, thank you so much for like looking at this old video back in that life that I had. That's what I had access to because I actually had Pilates and weight training in the same building. And so I could do it that way and here's why I liked it that way. After you first of all, like weight training requires a lot of a lot of like stamina and the muscles and strength and then you need to stretch and I actually hate stretching like I actually (Brad: Oh) so this is not a (Brad: really) scientific opinion. This is just my opinion. Yeah, so require stretching and I hate to stretch. (Brad: Oh, I love it.) I know you love it. You also hate weight training. So it's like a really ... So

Brad Crowell  

I think that's what, but you're naturally flexible too, though.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, but you still have to stretch.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, I know. But (Lesley: Yeah.) that's not my point. My point was that I'm naturally flexible. And I love to stretch. (Lesley: I am naturally ...) I am not naturally strong.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I think I'm both. Anyways, so

Brad Crowell  

I'm just perfect, you know.

Lesley Logan  

I'm just perfect in all, in every way. Um, no. So um, so why I liked Pilates after I weight train is because it actually did the stretching for me, obviously, their strength components and Pilates a strength based workout. But it was really nice. And it really like to me prepped me for the next time I weighed trained in my, in my opinion, the the problem with doing plies, after you weight train is one you have to have the time and the accessibility and b) there's no breaks in Pilates like there are breaks and weight training. So for the person who does it before they weight train, the reason why that's an awesome option is because it warms you up for weight training, it gets all your bodies connected, it allows you to be moving from your center right away from your first rep. And you get breaks in your weight training. So if you're like, oh my God, that was a lot that was like, you know, every other set, like I just walk around and chat with people for a couple minutes and then go at it again. Like it's, it's, it's weird for me to do that. But you can so, is one better. I've never done a scientific test on this. I haven't seen anything from the Huberman podcast just gonna say he does a lot of deep scientific research. So I really just think what do you have accessibility too? And is it is either practice having a negative effect based on the order that you're doing it. If it is then switch the order or switch the day.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, I think I mean, you know, like, the idea is, with Pilates, you're going to be moving, moving consistently, over 10 15 minutes, right. You're going to get the blood flowing through your body, and that is going to benefit you when you are weight training. (Lesley: Yeah.) So I love the idea of doing it before, because it gets the blood flowing. Doing it after Pilates, also, not only does it help you strengthen, but it also helps you stretch. So you could use it as a cooldown (Lesley: Yeah.) in addition. So (Lesley: Yeah.) actually, you could do it both.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. (Brad: Yeah.) Yeah, that's what I so I just think like, it really has to depend on you and also your body and and then ladies, just gonna like remind you of Jenn, Jenn Pike's podcast, podcast episode and also Dr. Bender's first podcast episode. Based on our hormones, our workout schedule has to change a bit. So you're, you may have times of the week where you can do it today like I could where I could do weight training and Pilates. And then there's days where it's like, Are you kidding yourself? You should just be doing Pilates. And if you are ...

Brad Crowell  

Yeah or just do some jumping jacks. (Lesley: Yeah.) Good to go.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. And if you are pre menopausal, that is going to be a whole different ball of wax that you get to experience on your own. Yes, love. I heard your request. I'm working on a menopausal guest. So stay tuned. But in addi... any, the too long didn't read is, do it makes you feel good. That's always gonna be better.

Brad Crowell  

All right. Okay. Now let's talk about Lindsay Moore.

Lesley Logan  

Aren't you so excited to talk about her.

Brad Crowell  

I am. She's amazing.

Lesley Logan  

We love her.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, obviously. She was, actually she was the first teammate, (Lesley: We've ever hired.) that we've ever hired.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. And if you didn't listen to her episode, then you don't know how much we loved her. You don't how we met and that's a reason why you should listen to it first. But anyways, Brad's gonna tell you about her.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, she's just lovely. But on a mission to empower people towards getting the best health care they possibly can. Lindsay is a doula, a patient advocacy consultant, a coach and a speaker. She works with individuals, families and provides and provides, (Lesley: providers) oh, I read that wrong.

She works with individuals, families and providers to foster great communication to transition well, through the different stages in life.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Which, I just want to like point out, we probably have it in our notes. But if you can notice, like she says providers versus doctors, and that we talked about that in the podcast and why like that's a really ...

Brad Crowell  

Yeah and we're not necessarily patients. We are clients.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I love being a client because that means I can take my business to other places.

Brad Crowell  

That's true. And also changes the way you think about it. So

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Well, why don't I jump it. (Brad: Yeah.) So um, I love that she, we brought up this topic that she said, which is like, why don't we speak up for ourselves with medical professionals. So her points on this were that because they were this white coat and because they have his medical degree. And because we're all raised like if you're not a doctor, like you're not you don't know everything and we implicitly trust them. And ...

Brad Crowell  

And well, it's actually like a phrase. It's called white-coat silence.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, white-coat silence.

Brad Crowell  

White-coat silence.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, so it just means that we implicitly trust doctors that they said so and this there's this power dynamic that they know more than me (Brad: Right.) about health. And it's like, yes, they did go to school more than you did about the body. But you also know your body.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, you know your body.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. And then also, what other things that come into place just people pleasing in general, raise your hand unless you're driving.

Brad Crowell  

Well, hold on, let's talk about that I, you know, your body, I think that's good. That's, that's helpful. You don't necessarily know the science and the medicine, the medical behind your body. But when the idea here is, you know, your body. So if they're saying, well, then, you know, if they're making assumptions, for example of like, you know, this, that this and you'll be feeling this, that and the other and you're like, "Am I feeling this that and the other?" You can literally say, "I don't feel this that the other." So (Lesley: Yeah.) because you know, your body, right? (Lesley: Yeah.) So obviously, they know that the science behind it, but you can feel it.

Lesley Logan  

I had a doctor like remember when I was when my stomach issues. And we had talked to the guy that I ended up working with, and he had said, you know, I want you to get, I want you to make sure you don't have any parasites. Because if it's parasitic, like, it doesn't matter what I do, we have to get rid of that anyways. (Brad: Right.) So I went to the doctor, with my insurance. And you know, we we in LA, we actually had great access to great medical care, we lived in UCLA Medical District, so we had awesome access. And the doctor looked at me, like I was a crazy person. And I was like, trying to tell him how I knew I felt and he was like, you know, all your blood, your blood results look good. Everything's in range. And I was like, "I don't feel good." And so I would like, I would like us just explore, like, like, look another time at this. And it wasn't until I said, "You know, I've lost 25 pounds in the last two years with the stomach stuff." And that, that got them. So fight for it like, (Brad: Yeah.) give them more things that that will advocate and explain why you don't feel right, even though everything might say you should be.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, I think I think that's really helpful. You know, because as you get frustrated, maybe you're actually revealing more information, like in your case, right there. You know, my, my mom had, I grew up with this idea that the doctor knows, but the doctor isn't necessarily right all the time. And I only knew this because my mom had her finger crushed in a garage door, like, flattened. And she was like, young, she was like in our early teens. She she went in and this doctor came in. And I don't even know what the full story was. But he said something. And my mom as a teenager was like, "What? That doesn't seem right." And I was young. And I was thinking like, "How did you have the wherewithal?" They'll be like, "No." And she told him, "You can't touch me. Leave me alone. You need to send somebody else in here." And she like, shut this guy down. And I don't think he needs to do. And she was just like, uh-uh I don't know what whatever it was that he said. She said, "Uh-uh. I don't agree with this." And that was the first time that I ever thought like, like, like, "Wow, I didn't, I didn't even realize you could do that. I thought the doctor just knew everything." So

Lesley Logan  

No, you can you can, I mean, you can, you know, this next part, which I want to get into really quick before you go into your stuff, is the people pleasing part because it had been so easy for her. Depending on how she was even raised to just go, okay, he knows, you know, but people pleasing is like, so what the preventive that is like, if you don't come in prepared with questions to ask to that, then it's gonna be really easy for you to like, talk to the doctor. And then because you don't want to be a bother, a pest, like a net, like an annoying and annoying client. You might just like agree with what the doctor says and ...

Brad Crowell  

Yeah and sure. I mean, you can, I mean, I think that most people will think while the doctors gotta be super busy. I don't want to bother them.

Lesley Logan  

Do you remember the Seinfeld episode where Elaine was like the writing? What do you writing into my note? What do you writing into my chart? And like she became like really obsessed with it. And they're like she was like trying to steal her chart. And they're like writing like, I don't even know I don't remember if they're actually writing anything about her. But I think like we we have this fear that they're gonna write something about us like, like, we were like an annoying patient and like don't like I worked at a doctor's office everyone and just so you know, never once ever in any of the charts I ever had to work in. Did anyone write, this person calls too much, don't answer that. Like ... now if you it has happened to you, fuck that doctor move on, but like and report them but but that's not what people are writing. They're often just really busy and signs because I asked her and I said what are some signs and symptoms that you're people pleasing because I think some people don't even realize that they're a people pleaser. And so she said because it also can be like very, you know, specific and she this is very much like are you driving home? Wish you'd had asked a question that you didn't. And I remember we talked about this earlier with the recent visit with the doctor I'll never go back to and I really was trying to very hard not to leave without having asked a question. And all I remember thinking is in the cars like all the things I wish I just said to her, like you're not listening to me, which would be the opposite would be a little agonistic. But like, still, please go into your offices, of your providers with questions you want answered, so that you don't have to remember in the moment, and if you are a recovering people pleaser, you can just like focus on your list. (Brad: Yep.) What did you love that she said?

Brad Crowell  

Well, first, I just wanted to say if you're hearing a bunch of crunching in the background, you're not crazy. Our dog has found a bone and he's just out of my reach.

Lesley Logan  

Y'all. He hid that in the bed. I swear. We had no toys in this room.

Brad Crowell  

No. He went outside. And he barked. And I open the door. And he came running back in with the toy. (Lesley: Yeah.) He went on to the backyard to get this bone. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Yeah. This is, this is August, and he has a toy box. And he's always looking for a specific toy. It's not just any toy. There are specific toys. He wants a specific time. So

Brad Crowell  

It's true. It is, it is amazing.

Lesley Logan  

That was your intermission.

Brad Crowell  

It was. Yes. Another thing that I'm laughing about. I just looked up on YouTube, Elaine and the Seinfeld thing? (Lesley: Yeah.) So we're gonna include a clip on YouTube videos. So you can enjoy that. So if you need a laugh right now, (Lesley: Oh, my God ...) feel free to check the show notes. ... So yeah, people pleasing. You know, it's, it's tough. It's definitely I think one one thing that would be helpful with with that is to write your questions down before you go in. Because, you know, it's really easy to freeze in the moment. I've done it, you know, like, "Oh, do you have any questions for me? Oh, no, I don't know. I don't remember. I don't even remember anything." Like, Lesley was like, "Hey, we need to take the dog to the vet, because he's got this bump." And I call the vet. And they're like, "Hey, what's wrong with them?" I'm like, "I can't remember. But I know I'm supposed to call you." So write your questions down. It'll help you in the moment. One thing that I loved, that Lindsay said, was, she talked about red flags, right, with health care providers, and you just kind of hinted at it when you were referencing your experience. And you can go back and listen to the actual interview to to hear the full extent of, you know, the frustration you had, but if you feel like the doctor is talking over you, or they're not listening to you, or you're saying something, and they keep changing the subject or they brush it aside, that's a that's a major red flag, right? If you leave the office with anxiety, that is a red flag. Okay. And, you know, I thought it was really interesting, because I think that ...

Lesley Logan  

Oh, I left that office visit full of anxiety. Like I have just like, I was like ... (Brad: Not just anxiety, but anger.) Anger and I was like, even, like, sad about it, because I just wanted to have a fucking doctor here.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, yeah. Here here meaning in Vegas. (Lesley: Yeah.) Totally. Yeah. And I think I think that

Lesley Logan  

I need to go back to my California doctor. And like, literally go, I need a blood panel. (Brad: Right.) What can you do? (Brad: Yeah.) That is allowed in the world that I live in a different state than you and she's like, "Here's what we can do. And I'll do that for you." I was like, "Let's just do that. Because that makes that answers my questions that I had."

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. And it's frustrating, you know, but but I, I think that the other thing is, so first off, these things that we've been talking about are about, like, after the fact, after you've already met this doctor, right? And so that's important to know you can reevaluate just because you booked with a doctor and they gave you like a set of things to do doesn't mean you actually have to go like do them especially if you don't agree with that person. Right? Or they make you feel weird or you're stressed after you leave. You can absolutely find a different provider. And you can, you could say to them this I want to another provider maybe you don't like jade their opinion right away but at the end of the conversation after they've made their assessment you can say, this is what the other doctor said. But ...

Lesley Logan  

... get second opinions and different prices on curtains and (Brad: Yeah.) blinds and carpet and handyman ...

Brad Crowell  

construction like building a patio. I mean painters.

Lesley Logan  

How many people that we have come to the house about the air conditioner, six?

Brad Crowell  

No. Three different companies. (Lesley: Three different companies.) Yeah. (Lesley: So you can shop ...) I had two electricians come by. Two electricians. (Lesley: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.) Because they because they were like, "Hey, we'll come to an evaluation. We want to see it." I was like, "Great." So I just started have an electricians stop by. (Lesley: Yeah.) Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

So you know, treat treat your body like you treat your house.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. Or your car. But, or don't maybe because if you don't take care of your car, then don't do it like that. But here are some things you can look for in a health care provider before you meet them. So there are now like dating profiles, right. So

Lesley Logan  

Oh, my God. ... ad we just saw the other night. ... you like maybe it was just me. I think I was binging on my own show. Anyways, there are ads, and it is like swiping like a tinder thing. (Brad: Oh, that's hilarious.) Oh, she's available tomorrow. 

Brad Crowell  

... I was there for that one. (Lesley: I was like ...) Booked and actually, I think that we were just gonna mention your dad, your dad's experience with ZocDoc.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, that was actually the ad we saw. And my dad 70, y'all. And he is like, oh, yeah, just he's on ZocDoc. He loves his eye doctor. He's mentioned to me 70's here we can tell. But he has mentioned seven times how much he loves her.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. And then and then the other one is, when you do meet them? Again, this is kind of this is now you've met them? So, do you feel like you have, do you feel like you were able to build a relationship with the doctor? You know, did they treat you like, gotta check my my watch? Because I got to the patient in four minutes, three minutes, you know, were they, you know, like, were they basically buried in their notes the whole time? Or they actually engaging with you?

Lesley Logan  

You know, I kind of bring (Brad: You know) up like, because we I talked about this in the episode that I keep bringing in medical people because it really your health can actually be the biggest obstacle to you being it till you see it. If your hormones are off, your mental health is off, your body's off. But if you're like, "I don't know, guys, I this is fine." I just want to say this goes to your vets too. Like maybe you're like, "I love all my doctors." (Brad: Totally does.) We were trying to find a vet here. And we've shopped several times, we've done several things. And with Bayon, he has an interesting issue and the doctors here were unwilling (Brad: Yeah.) to figure out how to perform surgery on him. Because we said the last time he had surgery, he had a seizure. And our vet that he had was with was able to immediately stop the anesthesia. He stopped seizing and she just quickly did the removals while he was still like lightly sedated. But we ...

Brad Crowell  

... prickly surgery. He's okay.

Lesley Logan  

He's fine. So but we had to do another surgery on him. And while the vets here are fine, and they're absolutely properly trained, whenever we mentioned this allergy or this this event, they literally shut down, can't do anything.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, they just go, "Yeah, we were probably not the provider to help you with that." And it's like, "What? Okay. It's crazy."

Lesley Logan  

So this goes to like, it's like, learning how to advocate for yourself. Maybe if it's easier for learning while advocating for your pet, or your house or your car. Try that. But but but you there's just different signs and things that you can look out for. And our vet in California, which yes we drove four an hour's take him to the vet. Six actually because I had traffic. But she did research to make sure she can perform a surgery without him having this thing and like, there, 

Brad Crowell  

There are people out there who can at the end of the night for before the vets before the surgery started. We were just there last week. So before the surgery started, she came out into the lobby, she met with us and she said, Hey, I was thinking about this last night. And I was like, What? You you spent the time to think about tomorrow's surgery before you came in and did I mean, you know, she's probably done this stuff 1000 times, you know, but she specifically read our dog's chart and remembered all the things and then thought about it again. And when she said that to me, I was like, you're amazing. 

Lesley Logan  

And when she has her own building, we will give her a shout out she can't la people cannot take any more patients right now. So we will give you all of her information when she's rebuilding, and we will happily send all the dogs to her because she's amazing. 

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. Well, anyway, so So we're talking about when you're meeting your provider? Do you feel like they treated you like a human? Did they take the time to get to know you? And then finally, when you leave the office? What were you confident in the next steps? Was it clear? Was it easy to understand? Right, these are things to look for in a health care provider. So first is check out their dating profile second is there you know, when you meet them, do you feel like they got to know you and and third? You know, did you leave the office understanding the straightforward next steps. So yeah. 

Alright, so finally, let's talk about those be it action items, what bold, executable intrinsic or targeted action items. Can we take away from your convo with Lindsay Moore? Well, so specifically, when it comes to being your own healthcare advocate, she said, You really need to adopt a client mindset, right? So not a patient mindset, but a client mindset. So you are the client. They are providing a service to you, and how can you collaborate with them to have the best possible experience? So I thought that was just so interesting, because we were talking about it already with all the other providers you would ever bring into your home. But let's just talk about an exterminator. Right? If an exterminator has come into your property and you've dogs in the backyard, clearly you're going to they're going to say hey, would you be so Okay as to take the dogs in the house and lock the door. Yeah, of course, no problem, I'm going to collaborate with my exterminator so that he can do the job or she can do the job properly. Like when we and that just seems normal, that doesn't even, there's nothing weird about that, that's an obvious thing to do. But somehow that gets lost when we are talking with a doctor, you know, in the same way, you are in a position, you are a client, you have 100%, you have options to go to another provider. Right? And you they need to you you can collaborate with them about your health. So I thought it was really interesting to adopt a client mindset. 

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. And like, if you're like, I don't know about that, you know, like, maybe Brad's example is like I live in apartment, I don't know, think about the places you do shop and the ones you don't, and why you don't shop at those places. Because you have specific reasons, a specific reason that you don't eat at a certain place. That's been a client that's been a customer, it's been a consumer. So take that as like your roadmap. 

Brad Crowell  

Yep, totally. What about you? 

Lesley Logan  

Okay, so here are the list of questions you need to write down. And if you're driving, then you need to, you know, become amazing at memorizing Here we go. One of the best ways you can advocate yourself is to listen to the postgame. This is when you're driving home in your car. How are you feeling? Do you feel anxious? Do you feel angry? Do ask? Did you ask all the questions? So like even do you feel things in your body? Like do you feel better walking out than you? Did? Like walked in? Do you feel the same? I feel the same I'm gonna go that's positive. But if you feel worse, that's and it wasn't like Bad News Bears in there you probably. But with diagnosis, like there are something to like pay attention to. And and then to that, she said, ask yourself, What's going on your body? What needs to change moving forward? Are you comfortable seeing that doctor? Again? This is a big question. Are you comfortable seeing that doctor again? You don't have to have a reason. So this episode hasn't come out yet. But I want you and Dr. Bender, second episode on our show comes out. I want you to be really careful when you think about trying to reason with things. She has a whole segment on humans, we want to have a reason why something feels a certain way, which actually just causes more stress. So if you if I asked you, if anyone asked you are you comfortable seeing that person again? And you don't have an immediate? Yeah. And there's like a hesitancy in there. Then something in your subconscious is wondering what like wondering something and it is worth evaluating. And it might not even be the doctor. It could be the assistance. It could be the assistance that they have. It could be the front desk person it could be like column. So that's just to me like after. To me, that final question is one of the most important that you could ask yourself. And I really hope that this whole entire episode has you thinking about your health in a different way thinking about your providers that are on your team. This is your team, you guys, do you see like people who are out there like, what what you were like would aspire to these actors do not they want to be an actor, but like these people who are celebrities of some kind, when you see them and you see the life that they're living, they have a team, right? You have a team, maybe you don't have like executive assistant, maybe you don't have you know, a an accountant or, or like a social media person, but your doctors are on your team, your dogs that are on your team, your vets are on your team, if your team is not allowing you to show up and be the best version of yourself and be it till you see it, then you think of like a football team. If your quarterback is slacking, you're not gonna win this game. The other team has to suck worse than your quarterback for you to win. So, so it's so so important that you evaluate who's on your team, and make sure that they're all part of what your goals are. And for that, anything to add, Brad? 

Brad Crowell  

No, I mean, you know, the I think that the biggest thing I just keep thinking about your recent visit. The drive home was when you were very frustrated. And that was an that was very easy. Like, Okay, moving on, you know, and for me, it's funny because we were supposed to see the same doctor, and she had some, you know, patient prior to us that like took way more time than she expected. And so we ended up seeing her partner, and it was you did you ended up seeing her partner. It was a guy and he was super cool, super chill. I was like wow, this guy's really, like I felt I left feeling like, we're on the right path. And then you ended up seeing her and you were like, I can't go back to see this person

Lesley Logan  

And just for... just for because I don't want to hear it. I literally went seeking a woman. So it's not me not not liking a woman over a man, I specifically want a female doctor, I'm still going to look for one. 

Brad Crowell  

I don't think anyone was assuming that's fine to clarify that. 

Lesley Logan  

I just want to make sure because, you know, I just like I really am looking for that. And I'm going to keep looking. But in the meantime, I advocate for myself with my old provider, I'm getting, I'm getting the needs that I need it done. So I can move forward. But, you know, I just I really do hope that these experts in all these areas are helping you see that, like, it's not just about having goals and a vision board, y'all. Like your body is the thing that goes with you everywhere. Hope you're well I guess he's, what do you call this stuff? Virtual reality. (Brad: VR, okay, it's what the kids are doing.) What the kids are doing no but adults are doing it too. So that is the only time you're living in reality that is not with your body, but I really do. I'm like resistant to change on that. But I just really want you to think of your health as part of being it till you see it. And until next time, haha just kidding. 

I'm Lesley Logan. 

And I'm Brad Crowell. 

Thank you so much for joining us today. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Let us know by sending us a DM over on pod, tag us on be it pod on instagram and we are gonna catch you on the next episode. 

Brad Crowell  

Love it. Bye for now.

Lesley Logan  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!    

Be It Till You See It is a production of Bloom Podcast Network.    

Brad Crowell  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan. And me Brad Crowell. Our associate producer is Amanda Frattarelli. 

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.     

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.     

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Mesh Herico for creating all of our visuals, (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week, so you can.  

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each episode, so you can find it on our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

How can we have more impactful conversations with our health care providers? How can we confidently leave each appointment without fear or anxiety? It all comes down to the bedrock of self-care, advocating well for ourselves and our loved ones. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Why we don’t speak up for ourselves with medical professionals. 
• Signs and symptoms of people pleasing. 
• Why you deserve to be listened to as a equal to your doctor. 
• Are you collaborating with your provider in a correct way? 
• Red flags in health care providers.  
• Things to look for in a health care provider
• How to advocate for ourselves and model it to the next generation
• The outcome of becoming your best advocate

BIO: 

Lindsay Moore (she/her) is a birth doula, healthcare consultant, and former hospice volunteer. She also holds a Communications degree– all that's to say, talking about birth, death, and everything in between comes pretty naturally for her.

She is passionate about helping her clients have the most empowering and present healthcare experiences possible, balancing an evidence-based approach with honoring each person's intuition and expertise on their own bodies.

Having seen firsthand the impact of excellent support, Lindsay is on a mission to create a culture of ownership around our health by promoting compassionate listening, fierce advocacy, and a real, "F*, yes," attitude.

Episode References/Links:

• Hello Harmonia website
• Follow Hello Harmonia on IG

More like this episode: 

• Jessica Valant How to Advocate Well for Your Health
• Profitable Pilates Course Empowering Self Advocacy in Healthcare

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Hey, love. How are you? Um, we had so much amazing feedback from a recent episode with Jessica Valant about advocating for your health, but I wanted to bring in an actual health advocate. And this person is a dear friend of mine, you'll hear why. And you might be wondering like, "Lesley, why are we talking about this? Like, how's this work?" And I can't wait for you to get to the part of the episode where it really becomes crystal clear why we're talking about this, but just in case you're like, "I don't know, should I, should I keep going, I wish I just like, listen, the next thing." I need you to hear me out. You are not just a compartmented person where you can go, "I'm gonna ignore what's happening over there. And I'm just gonna go over here, and I'm gonna like zero in on this thing. And I'm just going to work on this goal that I have over here. And I'm ignore this thing." You can't do that especially when it's your health. It's a little easier if you don't like your neighbor, you can shut the door. You can like refocus your thoughts, probably. But when it comes to your health, if your health is not at an optimal level for you, it is going to affect your ability to be it till you see it. We've talked about that with different guests, like Dr. Bender, and then we had on Jenn Pike, where they talked about the different hormone levels and the different things that were going on with your health that could actually affect you showing up fully in this day as who you want to be in that moment, right. And so, it is important for me to give you tools to help you be it till you see it, but they can't always just be strategy. They can't just be mindset. They have to sometimes be things that are foundational to you, being more of who you are. And that is making sure that you advocate for your health, for yourself and as the ultimate form of self care. So without further ado, Lindsay Moore, is our guest, and I can't wait for you to listen to this episode. So dive in real quick. She lives in a really beautiful, amazing space and like a lot of beautiful, amazing spaces. The internet is often a little wonky, so I apologize, there might be a couple of glitches and there that we had. But for the most part, I was able to capture all of the best audio for you. And I think you'll you'll get that if you are somebody watches on our YouTube channel, we'll just have a couple of clips due to the those internet things. So just a heads up on this episode. It is a little bit unique, but I promise you, the words are amazing. The tips are unbelievable. And you are going to want to share this with a friend, a family member or someone in your life who is needing to find ways to take care of themselves, especially in the most like sometimes, to me the most essential meetings that they might have about their health. So here is Lindsay.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Hey, Be It listener. I'm, I'm actually just like, I'm kind of giddy right now. Normally, I don't do an interview or call before 9am Pacific time. But I, today's guest is someone who has seen me before 9am Pacific time. So I'm really excited. I've known this woman for many, many years. And it's been incredible to watch her life evolve, and transform. And so now Lindsay Moore is our guest this week, and if you were ever in my life before, you may have got an email from Lindsay and this is my old executive assistant. She is doing wonderful things in this world. Lindsay, will you tell everyone who you are and what you're doing now?

Lindsay Moore  

Sure. Thank you for the amazing intro Les. Yep. So I'm Lindsay Moore. I am a doula and a patient advocacy consultant, which basically is a fancy way of saying that I work with both individuals, families, as well as providers to really help people foster great communication. It's work that I got into both as a birth doula and through working in hospice, setting with people as they transitioned out as well. And really seeing things all across the spectrum. It's become truly my passion and my mission to help empower people towards getting the best health care that they possibly can.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I mean, your your name came up and the work you do came up in an episode we did with Jessica Valant. And so I was like, "Oh, my God, I have to have just have her on the show." And I, I know we talked a lot about Jessica's, like about being an advocate for yourself. And Jessica's episodes, y'all can go back and listen, that we'll link in the show notes. But I was wondering, like, because you've worked on it for on both sides, like I know, you do talks with actual medical professionals and providers, and then also for patients. What is the difference that you are seeing? And like, I guess it's a really broad question, but like, how does how does like if a patient is advocating for themselves, help the relationship between them and their doctor?

Lindsay Moore  

Here's the great news. The doctors got into this because they want to help people, right? Nobody goes to school for that long, like just for the money. They just don't.

Lesley Logan  

Well, and also but I keep hearing is that there isn't. Because there's so much student loans, but I don't know.

Lindsay Moore  

Another interesting thing is having also worked with a healthcare technology company who works very closely with insurance providers. They're also interested in getting clients the best care possible. It's from a different angle. Right. But everybody involved here are truly wants this to happen, right? The doctors want you to ask questions, they want to help get you the care that you need, they are dealing with other pressures, right? Insurance companies may not be, you know, the most heart forward and entity involved in this, but they also, generally speaking, have a invested interest in getting you the best care possible. Unfortunately, it is up to us as individuals to be the catalyst for that, it's up to us to ask those questions and to to move the conversation forward. If we don't speak up, no one else is gonna be advocating for us as hard as we are going to be advocating for ourselves.

Lesley Logan  

Right. And then so, so then I guess the big question is like, why do we inherently not like, I feel like, and maybe that's like, the human condition. But, you know, we can talk beyond healthcare as well. But like, if women and people in general, don't take like it's under, they don't take care of themselves. They are not taking the care of themselves to say, "Hey, I feel this way. I don't feel seen and heard in this moment." Like, what like, if we don't do that, and then we can't get the part where the the catalyst to go. So what is it do you think, or what is one of the things that you think keeps people from advocating from them, for themselves?

Lindsay Moore  

If we start out with just the healthcare piece, it really is specifically this idea of there's a term for it called white coat silence. But it's it's a power dynamic, right? We are socialized to believe that this person has my best interests at heart, they know way more than me, they're the expert, they're gonna let me know what needs to happen. They're gonna let me know what care I should be receiving. So there's just inherent belief that there's a power dynamic. That's a big part of it. I think that keeps us from speaking up. The other piece, I think, is a real sense of people pleasing, right, as certainly a recovering people pleaser myself. I don't want to be seen as the squeaky wheel, I don't want to be seen as causing trouble or questioning or, you know, causing problems for somebody who seems very busy. (Lesley: Yeah) So I think there's a couple different factors at play, broadly speaking.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So that's interesting, because it's like, the doctors do care. And they do want to help. And we think that they care so much that they'll just tell us that something's wrong. And they're over here going, "No, I care when you tell me something's wrong."

Lindsay Moore  

Right. And I think there's also a thing where when you're an expert at something, you start hearing one thing, and you say, "Oh, I've seen this a million times. I know what this is." They might be missing a nuance about your situation, your symptoms, your body, you are truly the expert on your own body. And so approaching those conversations as as a collaborator, and I think changing the language that we use is really important, right? So as you know, we've been shifting towards going from calling patients and doctors into providers and clients, if you're the client, and you have a client mindset. You know, as you mentioned in the episode with Jessica, as well, you are paying for this in some capacity, you are paying for this service, and they're providing that service to you. So that's a big way to go into it. And if you start looking at it as, "Hey, we are collaborating together, we are teammates in my health." That's a huge way to reduce some of those barriers to speaking up for yourself, even if you're worried about the people pleasing aspect.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Yeah, I think it is interesting as you bring up people pleasing, and like, we don't want to be the person who's bothering someone. Oh my God, they're so busy. We do this, not just what the doctor did with the people in our life. And I'm like, these are stories, we're telling ourselves that are really keeping us from everything that we're wanting to have not just our health, but like other things, you know what I mean? Like ...

Lindsay Moore  

At work? Yeah, any of our goals, those relationships, I mean, you really can take the skill set and expand it way out.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, so um, so you you mentioned so with, some people might not call themselves a people pleaser. Do you have I mean, this might not be in your scope? But like, do you have signs and symptoms that you are so that maybe someone who's like ... But like in a doctor's office specifically or in our healthcare. Like, what are some, what are some signs of people pleasing?

Lindsay Moore  

Sure. So here's something that sometimes happens to me, even as somebody who does this for a living. In the office, they might say, "Hey, do you have any questions?" And in that moment, I don't. But on the drive home, I think, "Oh, man, I really wish I'd mentioned this thing, or I really wish I'd asked that question or, oh, I feel kind of uncomfortable. I don't really want to go back. I don't feel like I was super listened to." If you're doing a post game and not happy with your experience. It's worth reflecting on, is that the right provider for you? It's also worth reflecting on, what's on me, what's on me to speak up and what's on me to sort of, you know, pump my confidence up ahead of time, and that's part of it. Right? We need to also believe that we deserve to have that care that we deserve to be listened to that we are an equal with our doctor. But I think that's, for me, that's just a small sign that you might want to take a look at to say, hey, is this something even if I don't identify as a people pleaser? Is this maybe an aspect of that that I'm struggling with right now?

Lesley Logan  

What an interesting, I like that a lot because I do think that a lot of people could probably have resonate a little bit with that, like, you're like, you, you end up in the car afterwards like, oh, this things and then it transforms and transcends into everything else, you're doing it. Anyways, but like, I think that is something y'all that's the Be It action item earlier, you can actually think about and if that is true, what is on you. And I liked that a lot, because it's so easy to blame the providers, or, you know, or doctors. You're not yet using that word, y'all like because it's like, oh, they didn't listen to me. They didn't do this. It's like, okay, what part of it did I have, like, in my recent experience, I was trying to, I was like, "I got my Lindsay training in my head. I'm ready to go. I've got my questions like, I'm ready to go." And like, every question I asked she, like, just, it's not like, and I was actually getting really angry. Because I was like, she's not even listening to me. And so then I would ask, other questions or other follow up questions do that. And I just became more and more frustrated with the whole situation, and which is probably better than like, sitting going, "Oh, I'm good. Everything's fine." I was just like, "No, this isn't fine. This is the wrong provider for me." I literally came prepared. And I did all the things. And I asked and I asked follow up questions. And I think that is a better scenario to figure it out that someone is not a provider for you, not the right provider for you, then a post like the post game and knocking your answers and having to start all over again.

100% because you know that you've done your homework. Right. You know that you did your part you showed up. And if it's still not working despite your best efforts. Yeah, it's absolutely the right time to look at is this provider I want to continue a relationship with.

Lindsay Moore  

I have a seven month old son. And unfortunately, I recently had to fire a pediatrician who was a super nice guy. But every time I would come in and ask him a question, he would start his answer by saying, "Well, here's what I tell my daughter. Here's what I tell my daughter." And even if I went and asked follow up questions back, that was still the the framework from which he was responding. And finally, I had to say to him, "I'm not your daughter. I'm your collaborator in my son's health, and we need to start from there." The other thing that I love that you mentioned is that you got angry. I think particularly as women a lot of us are socialized that angers not an okay emotion to express particularly in any kind of power dynamic. But anger is such a crucial clue for us that boundaries are getting crossed, right. So it's a really great clue that something's off. And so to your point, that's a great moment to say, "Well, okay, well why is this off?" Maybe that's maybe that's the postgame question, "Why am I feeling angry?" If you're not sure why. But anger is such important clue within our bodies to say something's not right, I want to investigate what that is.

Lesley Logan  

So that's so that's great. So we have the if you if you leave the doctor's office, and you are having these postgame analysis where you're like, "I should have asked that. I could ask that." Like, that's a sign that you're maybe people pleasing in this situation, or you don't have the best provider is to make you feel comfortable and sane to say something. But also, maybe you should prepare. And then on the flip side, if you had prepared, like in my case, and then you're finding yourself frustrated, angry, it's a sign that you're with the wrong provider, do you have other signs that people can reflect on in themselves that may or may, that may show that they are not necessarily collaborating with their provider in a way that they could or that they might need to reflect on and pursue a different provider in their situation?

Lindsay Moore  

I would say, just some kind of high level behaviors that you might want to start noticing next time you're at your provider's office? Do they cut you off? Do they interrupt you? Right. Are they able to reflect back? What you shared? And have it feel accurate for you? Are they making eye contact? Or are they you know, are they charting, are they they're rarely on their phone? But do you feel that they are making eye contact and truly listening to you. And if those really basic tenets of good communication aren't there. That's red flag number one for me. So let's establish that we're just speaking to each other as humans. And just generally speaking, kind of respectfully. For me, also, I think it's really important that when you leave that doctor's office, even if you're not angry, do you feel more or less anxious than when you went in, because we don't want our providers to just sugarcoat things or just, you know, try to make us feel better unnecessarily. But at the same time, they should be providing some sense of direction, or way forward of what the next step might be. Even if it's just let's revisit this in three months. Right.

Lesley Logan  

This is so fascinating, because all of these things I feel like are great for in a relationship with any human.

Lindsay Moore  

Yeah. Free couples therapy on the pod today, guys.

Lesley Logan  

You know what I mean? Like, with friends, with, with partners, with family, with bosses, with workplaces, like, these are, y'all should write these questions down, because like, these are really great for evaluating any situation, you're with people. I'm wondering, I'm wondering, as you because you mentioned this, and forgive me if it's too personal, but like, it's since you are going to be looking for new pediatrician, like, what are some things that you do, as someone who has so much knowledge in this realm and has good practice in it? For advocating, what are the things that you are looking for when you go to find a provider for yourself?

Lindsay Moore  

Here's the great thing. Something that is a great tool that I found for myself is that if I go into onto my insurance carriers website, and I use my find a provider tool, most of the providers have little bios, right, even if they're just short blurbs, that say not just where I went to school and what I specialize in. But sometimes now they even say, you know, a short value statement, or sometimes you can kind of glean from the resume, maybe what interests they might have, you know, was it a mental health care facility? Was it working with youth? Was it you know, specializing in trauma? There's lots of things, I think, when you start reading between the lines, that for me, it also depends, of course, on what type of provider I'm looking for. But for me, I'm looking for somebody that is dialed into more of a holistic approach. I want people that understand, you know, mental and emotional health is intrinsically tied to our physical health and should be treated as just as important. So those are the things that I'm trying to look for. I think doing a little bit of research ahead of time is great, it's easy to fall down a rabbit hole. So we had a temporate it , we only have so many hours in the day. But I think it also depends, again, on what type of provider you're looking for. For me personally, I just do feel a little bit more comfortable with another woman in most cases. I think for not to not to overly generalize here. But I think a lot of women, maybe some of that inherent sense of power disparity can be lessened. If you're speaking with another woman, maybe more of a sense of a peer relationship, certainly not the case for everyone on either side of the coin. For me, that's something that I found personally to be true.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Well, I love this. Like, it's like you basically are just going back to dating because it's amazing, but like you're looking at the data profile of your provider. (Lindsay: Totally) And, and so looking at the information you can glean and then using that, to try them out, I think especially in healthcare, it can be really interesting. Like they're like, "This is your doctor." And I'm like, "Is it? I haven't met them yet? I don't know. Do I want this person. I gotta go find out." So I think that is, and I think that could be part of that like, even like recovering people pleaser or someone who like lends that way. It's like, okay, well, this is the person I have to go to. And so so thank you for sharing that I had no idea that they're now putting like values out there. That's wonderful, if they can, but I think it's similar thing when you're looking for best friends, places to work at, people to date. It's like, what are the things that I need? What are like the things that I value higher on the list when doing this out? And like you had mentioned like, it's you kind of would like it to be more of a female friend or ... for what you prefer. I like I think, going back to what you said, like what is our ownership in that for advocating for ourselves? It's like, knowing kind of the things are like, these are less of a deal breaker, more of a deal breaker for me when I'm looking at and trying to narrow things down. Is that like, does that make sense?

Lindsay Moore  

Oh, 100% 100%. I love the correlation with, you know, looking through the dating profile of your provider, because that really is what we had the opportunity to do, particularly now that, you know, since pandemic, telehealth is so much more accessible for a lot of providers in ways that it wasn't even a couple years ago, you know, it used to be a huge production to have to like find childcare, find transportation, go into the office, sometimes you have to wait several weeks to get an appointment. Now, it is so much easier to truly date your providers before you really have to settle on one, you know, you can have a telehealth consultation and test it out to see how you feel about it before you really commit to that in office. That's it. And I think that's a great option for a lot of people.

Lesley Logan  

I love that. My, y'all dad is 70. And he was like, he's like, "Oh, yeah, I found my doctor." Like, oh, he's like, "Yeah, he's ZocDoc." Like, he just used, he (Lindsay: Yeah) just used an app. And he's like, "Oh, you yeah. I have a phone meeting with them." And it's like, "You do?" So I think what's really cool is that more and more people of all ages are, are finding that more accessible as well. I want to go, I want to then, I want to talk a little bit about like, what have you seen, if anything or what do you know about if people don't advocate for themselves in their healthcare, like how have you seen that affect them and what they're, they're likely their livelihood is.

Lindsay Moore  

There's actually a ton of data on this, specifically when it comes to hospital stays something that I was just going over recently, when you look at people that have to stay in the hospital for 30 days or more. And then what happens in the 30 days after they leave, I mean, people that are not advocating for themselves that do not also have allies, whether that's a partner or a family member or caregiver, they are more likely to have falls, there's more likely to be issues with medication that's given to them, you know, errors in the medication, they're more likely to end up back in the hospital. That's just one specific example. But it really applies more generally, where if you're not advocating for yourself, if you are just accepting the care that you were being offered, as opposed to the care that you are asking for or collaborating with your provider on. Your health is going to suffer, right, you're going to miss things. Because you do need that providers expertise, that is what they bring to the table. What you bring to the table is your expertise on your own body, but they do have a huge breadth of knowledge and experience. Something that might seem sort of insignificant to you, might be a real red flag for them. So serious conditions that could be very easily treated if they're caught early, if they go unnoticed, or if you're not speaking up about it because it doesn't seem like the biggest deal to you or you don't want to cause problems or it's embarrassing, right. All of a sudden, something that could be super treatable in the early stages can be much more serious, if it's left longer until it becomes the biggest thing in the room.

Lesley Logan  

That is so interesting. I am happy, I'm glad to hear that there's like data on that information, especially people with long stays because I think some people need to know that like, this isn't just like a thought that we're just like taking on and like applying to the whole rest of our lives. It is there's you know, evidence that shows that if you aren't advocating for yourself, your health suffers, which means, you know, life can end sooner or that it can keep you from being able to do things I know for myself if I am sick, nothing that's creative and getting done. Like I'm not a nice person. And then I don't like who I am. So ...

Lindsay Moore  

And then it just snowballs from there. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So when I'm sick and I don't like who I am, I'm stuck with myself in a room. So so I mean ...

Lindsay Moore  

The quality of life, right? That's what you're describing. It's your quality of life is impacted, even if your actual health is able to recover. What time are you losing, in terms of the quality, of it in terms of your enjoyment, in terms of what goals you're able to accomplish? It suffers.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, and that's like, I mean, that's well, that's the whole reason why I want to talk to you. It's like if our, I have a lot of people who reach out to me and they're like, "Oh my gosh, I have all these ideas, but I've got like these things going on." And it's always health related. It's or if it's not their health, it's someone in their lives health. And so I think it can be really easy for us to focus only on like, okay, this is the way to manifest or this is the way to interview or this is the way this is the strategy for this email thing to make this work. But like, if your health is not at a place of optimal level, none of that stuff matters, you're not going to get it done. And if someone in your life who you care about you live with, if their health is not optimal, it's going to affect those things as well. So I think we, we tend to, like you mentioned in the, a moment ago, like something that's innocuous to us, well, it might not actually be, as you mentioned, and that and like, because we're like, we can be so focused on like, I got to do this thing, because that's the goal I had for myself when, when we forget that we're a whole person, and we are health as part of that.

Lindsay Moore  

Yeah, and it truly is the bedrock of self care, like literally self care, right? Make sure that that foundation is solid, so that you're able to go and thrive and go after those goals, and enjoy your life as much as possible. And I think, you know, particularly for women, we often fall into the role of caretaker. I think there's a balance between trying to set our own boundaries when possible. And also, you know, that's a wonderful opportunity to help advocate, it's going to make that person's life better. It's gonna make your life better.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, oh, oh, that's so good. I mean, y'all don't we all want to have better quality of life and like, and, and it is not so simple as just advocating for yourself, but it is like ... (Lindsay: It's a start, though.) It's the start. And if this is a part where you find yourself or like your family struggling, then that's the work to be done right now, as opposed to, like, you know, the next lead magnet or. You know what I mean?

Lindsay Moore  

And listen, I think there's also, I know, for me, oftentimes, it can be really easy to just want to bury myself in work or just trying to go after the next dream. And sometimes it's a way that we cover up dealing with something that because let's be honest, sometimes dealing with health issues, it's scary. It's scary. We don't always want to look at things we might not want to speak up also not because we don't feel that we're good enough, but because we're afraid that we know it's serious. And that's tough, man, that's that's the adult shit.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, that is so true. And it's like, I mean, like, I it's not, y'all, I definitely have found myself going, "I'm actually avoiding going to figure out what this is."

Lindsay Moore  

Totally, I have to. Like, "I don't want to deal with this. I don't have time for this."

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Because I like I don't want to deal with the emotions that's going to be around that information.

Lindsay Moore  

For sure. You know what I think also, you know, as we start as we get older, and if you're somebody that is taking care of your parents, too, I know that that can also be a struggle of trying to advocate for your parents, because that's a switch and dynamic. And that's something I think we luckily, like newer generations are changing the relationship around that. But I think particularly for people in our parents generation, that is a struggle, right, like, I would rather just ostrich and not know, and maybe it'll get better, and maybe it'll be fine versus having to face the scary questions.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, yeah, that's, um, that is, I think, also the way you call it, the white coat situation, (Lindsay: White coat silence. Yeah.) white coat silence. I feel like with our, with my parents, and like, even above them, that's definitely like the doctor said this. And like that is ...

Lindsay Moore  

Yeah. (Lesley: And it's like ...) God himself came down and said.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Yeah. And like, I think, you know, for our generation, like, there's absolutely a difference. And like, we can see that and if you're, if you're raised that way, like this whole conversation could be like, yeah, guys, this is really thanks for sharing that. But this is really hard for me. Absolutely. Or you can also be like, that doesn't make any sense. And we're like this dark generation where I hope that people younger than us are saying this is like, it's quite normal. Like, I mean, imagine the world where you grew up. And it is a client provider relationship versus like, having to retrain yourself into that mentality. And I think for the providers as well.

Lindsay Moore  

For sure, and that's something that even as young as my son is, and I realize he's not, you know, fully registering what's going on, but to me, it's something that's on my mind every time that we do have to go to the pediatrician, right? How can I model for him the type of communication that we should be having? You know, just how are we approaching a visit? Right. We're not going to, we don't need to be fearful. We do need to ask our questions. We do need to make sure that, you know, we're having a good relationship with this person. They're here to help us and we got to pull our own weight.

Lesley Logan  

Well, Lindsay, you've really brought us like, we're advocating for ourselves, then we're modeling for the children or people around us and we're (Lindsay: Yeah ...) their parents.

Lindsay Moore  

... do it. Just do it for the children.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. That's like, that's like the things I I think about all things I'm like, "Okay, this might not affect me, but it's gonna affect the people after me. So I should be kinder." ... thing over here. Wouldn't it be nice if we all felt that way? But um, you know, I feel so I feel like we we've only we touch the surface, and we have some great things in here. But I might like the thing that it keeps coming to this whole thing. As we mentioned earlier, it's quality of life. And it's like, if we can advocate for ourselves, and it's very unique and sometimes uncomfortable situation, but it's so personal, it will, it's a muscle that will affect the rest of your life. And as you, as you mentioned in the study, when you don't do it, it affects the quality of your life.

Lindsay Moore  

Absolutely. And I think we can even take these skills and apply them to our businesses, as he said, like to our personal relationships, or friendships, just approaching any conversation that you have the slightest whiff of anxiety about or just questions about. And if you can, sort of, even if it's just five minutes in the car on the way there, take your time to say, "Okay, what do I want out of this situation? What do I need out of this conversation? How am I going to approach this? What's the most proactive, positive collaborative way that I can have this difficult conversation?" And I think you're really going to start to see other areas of your life start to skyrocket as well.

Lesley Logan  

Beautiful, I love this all so much. Thank you, Lindsay. We're gonna take a brief break and then find out where people can learn more from you. Lindsay, where do you hang out? Do you coach people on this? We have a course on profitablepilates.com, y'all. That she was so amazing at teaching all of our Agency members how to, how to ... themselves, but how to teach their clients, how to advocate for themselves. Is there anything else that people can find resources with you?

Lindsay Moore  

Yeah, of course, I would head over to my website, which is helloharmonia.com. I'm also on Instagram @helloharmonia and my personal account @lindsaycmoore. That's the best way to connect with me. As far as services, yeah, I've got a great course on Profitable Pilates that I'd love for people to check out if you're interested in learning more about advocating for yourself and others. I also do private client work, consulting, and workshops. So please go ahead and check that out on my website and get in touch if you have any questions.

Lesley Logan  

Amazing. Amazing. Okay, before I let you go, BE IT action items people can take. I know you gave people a lot of calls to action. But any thing that is bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it.

Lindsay Moore  

For sure. I'd say listen to your postgame. How are you feeling? Do you feel anxious? Do you feel angry? What's going on in your body? What's that telling you about what you need to change moving forward? I'd also say adopt your client mindset. You are the client, they are providing you a service. And how can you collaborate with them to have the best experience possible.

Lesley Logan  

Beautiful, those are easily well not easily. But you can write those down. And you can actually take action with those things in your next visit with your providers. Y'all, I hope that you understand that I can give you all the tools and the entire world to do anything you want to do. But if you don't take care of you, and you're not advocating for you, it they're all just tools in a toolbox, they're not going to actually have the effect that when you are like really owning taking ownership of yourself and making sure that you're feeling seen and heard in your health care. It all goes together. We're not compartment to people. So Lindsay, thank you so much for helping us understand that, for giving these amazing tools. You are a wonderful human being doing massive things in this world. And I'm just so grateful that I get to know you in my life.

Lindsay Moore  

Thank you so much for having me. It was so nice to chat with you.

Lesley Logan  

All right, everyone. How are you going to use these in your life? Are you gonna use these BE ITaction items? When is your next appointment? No, I'm kidding, you're not telling me that. But but please make sure you take these notes and put them in your calendar as a reminder before your next appointment. And share this this episode with a friend. Some of you are like, I don't know how to do that on the, on like the interwebs. And you can actually tell our team where you listen to podcasts and where you want to share this and we can actually help you because it's complicated between all the platforms. We do want to make it easier for you to help your friends learn the things that you're learning and that you want them to because I'm sure somewhere like my friend likes, listen my mom is listening to this. Well, let's help you make sure that they can do that. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day! 

Be It Till You See It is a production of Bloom Podcast Network. 

Brad Crowell  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan. And me Brad Crowell. Our associate producer is Amanda Frattarelli.  

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.  

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.   

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Mesh Herico for creating all of our visuals, (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week, so you can. 

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each episode, so you can find it on our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Find the mountain that you want to climb that has no top. Find the thing that fills your soul and makes you smile. It’s all about your mind-body connection, and continually reconnecting the two to fully become your ideal self.  

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• When to expect the chair flashcards
• Find the mountain with no top that you are willing to climb.
• Somatics part of the mind-body connection.
• The body will follow what the mind believes
• The continual process of reconnecting your mind and your body 
• The reason you need to pour into yourself first 
• What’s in your morning sandbox? 

Episode References/Links:

• Sign up for Cambodia Retreat 2023: lesleylogan.co/retreat.
• Chair Flashcards Waitlist: opc.me/flashcardwaitlist,
• Agency Mini 8 profitablepilates.com/mini

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the daring convo I have with Keri Ford in our last episode. If you haven't listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now and go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. Alright, so while this is coming out, there's a lot going on. We're actually halfway through Agency Mini, and this week is just freaking phenomenal and always fires me up. I really love it.

Brad Crowell  

 It's a crazy week.

Lesley Logan  

I know. But you know what we get, we get Bronze Cafe delivered every day. We have, we have lot, (Brad: I love that.) we have lots of amazing support for our Mini members with our ambassadors and our coaches. And it's also so fun for like the light bulbs to light to come on for them. (Brad: Yeah) And so I'm just like I'm, while it's a crazy week, we put in more hours and this week than we probably do in most of our months. Supporting people, it is so much fun, because whether or not they join us in Agency, they will never unlearn and forget this information and they can take action. And it's just so fun.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, I mean, the being in a container, you know, like in a safe space with people asking questions where we get to sew into them, empower them, put them in a place where they feel confident, and they've gained clarity, and they're ready to go, interact with more people in Pilates, that is what furthers our mission. And it's why we love hosting Agency Mini, because we get to work with more people and a shorter amount of time. And then some of those people will actually continue to work with us on an ongoing basis. And it's just so much fun. (Lesley: Yeah) It is really, really amazing. And we've got we always get great questions. And by the end of the week, what's so neat about it is a bunch of strangers come together, all over the world. And they're really like shy and not sure. And then by the end of the week, they're encouraging each other and supporting each other and like cheering each other on. And if everybody wins, it's so fucking cool.

Lesley Logan  

It's everything that is industry needs. And like, the more we actually support each other, the more people who do Pilates period. (Brad: Yeah.) And like what is like, they'll be people who, you know, are the same cities in that group. And you can see that people like, "Oh, I'm here." But then all of a sudden, everyone realizes, like, you teach different people like you, like literally don't have crossover, (Brad: Yeah.) you're on opposite sides of the city, or one of you is classes and one of you teaches privates. Like there's not ...

Brad Crowell  

Or one of the focuses on you know, elderly and the other works with moms.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, so it's, um, it's really actually so amazing for people to see, "Wow, these people are my partners in success and not necessarily like my competition." So

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, community, not competition. (Lesley: Yeah.) What we say over and over again.

Lesley Logan  

We do. And we and you know what, when people get into Agency that even develops more and more and more, and (Brad: Yeah.) it's just, it's beautiful. So, anyways, the next Agency Mini the dates probably have been determined at this point, but I don't have them for you. So if you are missing out, feeling the FOMO as you should, because we would love to have worked with you this week, go to profitablepilates.com/mini to get on the waitlist for the next one.

Brad Crowell  

Yes, yeah, add yourself to the waitlist, we always email the waitlist first and tell them about the (Lesley: early bird) early bird pricing. So it's worth being on the waitlist, even if it's not going to come up for another couple months. So go add yourself there profitablepilates.com/mini. (Lesley: Yeah.) And if you are going to be in California, in Monterey for Balanced Bodies Pilates on tour, we will see you there.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, we have a booth. So I won't be teaching but that just means I have more time to actually hang out with you. So I'm actually really excited about there's some amazing people a ton of our elevators, OPC members, Agency members, all going to be there's gonna have a big party. Brad's got the booth as well. And so if you haven't yet signed up, definitely sign up. I'm sure they have like day passes, and also whole week long passes. But Monterey, Monterey is beautiful. And there are some epic people, Erika Quest is going to be there. Our Agency member Christine Waterman is actually presenting there. (Brad: Oh good.) Yeah, yeah, yeah. (Brad: That's great.) So it's a whole lot of fun. And we're going to drive out.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, we're driving out because we needed to bring our own Reformer.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, yeah, for eLevate weekend because we agreed (Brad: It overlaps.) to do this. It overlaps. So from 12 to 4 I will be in a hotel room with lights, camera, action teaching our eLevators and Brad will be ...

Brad Crowell  

And will be smuggling in our own Contrology Reformer into the hotel room, so we're gonna get a big one.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, we're working on that details right now and awesome hotspot. But these are like the things you have to do to make sure that you can sip or, you know, people (Brad: Yeah.) in all the ways and we're on a mission, 'More bodies doing Pilates' and Balanced Body is an amazing company. We I've been an ADC, which just means that I am the representative of Contrology. So I love it to be wherever they are gonna have it. (Brad: Yeah.) So it'll be it'll be a lot of fun. That's a great weekend.

Brad Crowell  

If you're looking at that equipment. We have a referral code for you that saves you 5%. (Lesley: Yeah.) Hit us up, just send us a DM. Happy to share. But first, (I steal your line) we have an audience question, Lesley.

Lesley Logan  

I know, I know. This is this is a okay, this question I got every day three times a day when I was in Dallas with Erika. I get it actually in my DMs all the time. So I thought you know what, we're just going to, let's just call it out. (Brad: Yeah.) When are the Chairs decks happen coming out? When are they shipping? What are they in existence? And the actual truth at the time of this recording is. We don't know. But our goal has always been to be on presale in February.

Brad Crowell  

Okay, two things. First off, if you don't know what a Chairs deck is, we have flashcards on onlinepilatesclasses.com. And we've already released the Mat, the Reformer and the Cadillac decks. And that's over the past three years. This year, we're releasing the Chairs deck, which is 90 something cards, 99 cards or something like that. (Lesley: I think it's 96 exercises.) Yeah, and it has been we've been working on it since last summer. And we're really, really close. I think we at this point, we definitely got like a sample of the boxes. And we've started like getting samples of the cards themselves. So I think we're like two or three months away. So what we're going to be doing is the best thing you can do if you want more information about this, go to the wait... get yourself on the waitlist, go to opc.me/flashcardwaitlist. Okay, I'm gonna say that again, opc.me/flashcardwaitlist, we'll put that link in the show notes. (Lesley: Yeah.) But we will be announcing a presale sometime, like probably in the next couple of weeks. And then the decks should be shipping roughly two months after the presale happens. So

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. so and that's why we have said like a couple months away because so this, and this is what I explained people because you may not understand like the the Cadillac deck was over 300 hours when we stopped counting. And (Brad: Yeah.) definitely went over. And I had just still record a few things that we had recordings for. But we didn't have new recordings for those last week. And I was like, "Oh my gosh, five more hours." Anyways, so these decks do take a lot of time because after I write the first draft, which I am so proud of myself how quickly I wrote the first draft. (Brad: Yeah.) My team gets them on the card so I can see them because I'm a visual person, then I edit them again. Then we actually have someone else who's a teacher come through and read them to make sure that they make sense and we usually pick someone who has on different piece of equipment than I am because I tried to make sure that whatever Chair you're on or whatever Reformer you're on, whatever Cadillac you have information to help you use these cards. Then we have someone who doesn't even know Pilates at all read them to make sure that they make sense. And then

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, so it's not just all Pilates language and like you know, your mom can pick it up, pick up a deck and be like, "Oh, maybe I want to do this and I get I get what they're saying here."

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, and then I get to do it again, get to read them again because I just want to make sure that I don't miss anything. And so then what happens is we go on presale, which means you get the best opportunity, the best deal on the deck (Brad: Yeah.) that will have while it when it for a new deck. And then it is an 8 to 10 week ship like print job. (Brad: Yeah.) So so that's why he said a few months. So if we can go on presale in this month of February. We're looking at end of May. (Brad: Yeah.) Yeah. Which is hear before you know it. So you know time is flying by.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. So anyway, get yourself on that waitlist.

Lesley Logan  

And if you don't have a Chair, get the Mat deck, get the Reformer deck, get the Tower deck. (Brad: Yeah.) Like go get those, you can get those at OPC.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, and in the future we've got barrels coming and then accessories and then there will be six total. (Lesley: Yeah.) And we will call that a wrap.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, we will call that a wrap.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, so we still we're still signed up for another year and a half of production and writing and content creation here. So

Lesley Logan  

More photo shoots and all this stuff. So yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know what, it's okay because (Brad: It's a lot of fun.) what I'm just gonna show this on the Balanced Body in case they're not listening but just in case Kens listening, what what's been so fun is that as I've been producing these cards, he's come out with the Contrology piece. (Brad: Right.) So I've been able to use where there's a Contrology piece use that and I know that they're in production right now and they're they're trying and so I may have to like swap or doing just so that like I can possibly get what I want. Because you know anyways, we'll see this is just me explaining like, this is like behind the curtain. Here you go because I really like you guys. No, these are not like oh, I should do that. You can. I'm just gonna tell you it's hundreds of hours of work.

Brad Crowell  

All right. Now let's talk about Keri Ford. Ever figuring it out, Keri is a high performance Holistic Life Coach, who uses somatics to bring healing and help individuals change life patterns. She's the CEO and founder of Elevate with Keri, a transformational coaching movement to raise women's emotional intelligence and their whole body performance.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, so she is if you listened to the first interview, she was actually one of those girls that I met on that random, like, let's have a girl's weekend with people that we know on the internet. And so she's one of them. And we're actually at the time of this recording. We're like days away from meeting her and her partner at their place that they like home that they have in California. We'll be up in like the boondocks and like just doing lots of stuff to like, body hack and pour into ourselves and nerd out on business before we drive off to Monterey.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, I'm looking forward to that. It's gonna be great.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So one thing that I love that she said was find the mountain with no top that you are willing to climb. I'm going to say that one more time. Find the mountain with no top that you're willing to climb because it's a lifelong journey. And I think it is, I think we're, I think it's really easy to go, "I'm not where I want it to be all right. Like ..." And like we get frustrated, but like, the reality is, is that like, in in bettering yourself, in becoming the person you want to be in change, and like unlearning the habits and, and thoughts that you've had from your childhood, in your life and the partners, you pick it all that stuff, all of that you don't just like, check a box. Okay, won't date the wrong ones again or Okay, won't have like that won't take that job promotion. Again, it's like, it is a lifelong journey. And so she talks about like, being a woman that sees things differently and is willing to go to her edge over and over and over again, because it's in service to herself and the people she serves. So you're on a mountain with no top. And so I hope that that like gives you permission a to like, you know, it's not that you can't like take a pause somewhere. But that where this life is, is, I don't know. I just feel like ...

Brad Crowell  

Let me give a little bit of clarity to, let me let me quantify this for you because I just realized I should have asked you to go second. Because I she said something that was really revealing. We've heard, I've heard the somatic coaching before. We know somatic relationship coach, coaches, somatic therapy, like all this kind of stuff. And part of your conversation was, what is the difference between somatics and traditional therapy? And she talked about somatics being the mind body connection. Okay. And that is very cliche sounding, mind body connection ... (Lesley: That's what I do.) What does that mean? Okay, awesome, right. But what she's talking about here is well, if you feel like you're you're at war with yourself, right, where you're obviously not connected. Okay. And she said we can use the power of our mind and our nervous system to create a different experience from that, you know, war like state. She said that somatics are they really somatic focuses on it centers around your beliefs. Okay. And the way she was talking about it, it made me realize those beliefs could be conscious, or not just unconscious there, you know, whether you consciously believe something, it doesn't change the fact that you still believing something. (Lesley: Yeah.) Right. And so, for example, how you feel about something is a belief you've adopted, whether you realize it or not. And she said, this is the key here, this is the key to somatics. Belief is the bridge that connects your mind and your body. Okay, so the body will follow what the mind believes. Okay, and so when you're talking, so the question was that I should had you ask at the beginning of the mountain top idea is, tell me about this journey of this bridge of connecting the mind and the body. You know, is that, you know, is that something you do in like, 10 sessions, and you're done? Or, you know, what is that and really, she was talking about that being the mountain that doesn't have a top, you're consis... you're consistently pursuing, analyzing your beliefs and adjusting your beliefs to be reconnecting your mind and your body. So you can optimize, you can optimize your yourself. Right. (Lesley: Yeah.) And the way you approach life, and then your body itself.

Lesley Logan  

Well, and just to like, reiterate that it's a lifelong journey. And also, you should listen to the interviews too. Because then you'll understand what I'm talking about when I bring out what I love. But I think like, because it's a lifelong journey. The reason I keep saying that is it can feel really overwhelming if you're climbing something that never has an end. But it's not that it is this like frustrating, like exhausting. Like, oh my gosh, like you're being knocked down over and over again, kind of climb. Like when I think of like climbing a mountain, it just sounds like fear and scare. Like, I'm gonna, like lose my grip, and like, it's just a lot, but actually, it's just that you are bettering yourself, you are evaluating, you are looking at how, why you're reacting to things, and you are asking yourself, I mean, we just go back to Alan's like, Am I doing the best that I can with what I have where I am? And if you're, if one day, the answer is no, then that's where you get to do some evaluation. And you're like, keep going up that mountain, you know, so I think it can be really easy for the perfectionist to be like, I like is it happened in seven days. No, you actually, it took you your whole life to get to where you are, it's going to take all those years and more to like, unravel that and change and make those changes.

Brad Crowell  

I mean, I laugh about this, often, but I was, I remember sitting down for my first voice lesson, and confident that I was very good at singing already. Which I could certainly sing but was I good at singing? No. In fact, I was singing completely wrong. And I was damaging my voice every time I was singing. I didn't know that. But I thought that I was kicking ass. And I said to her like, so like, you know, how long does it take to like, get my voice where I wanted to be like six sessions, you know, like 10 that maybe like 15? And she's like, looks at me like, why don't we just get started? And we can cross that bridge as we go. And it's been 13 years.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, well, and like that's the same thing with Pilates. We're like, okay, so like, what are we gonna do like 10 sessions and like, you'll feel better, certainly. But like, if you want to keep feeling better, you have to keep coming. Like Pilates is a practice with no mount... like with no mountain top. (Brad: Yeah. So, mountain with no top.) Yeah, yeah. So like, and if you do Pilates that doesn't overwhelm you. So it shouldn't overwhelm you (Brad: Right) to be someone on a pursuit.

Brad Crowell  

Well, it's also hilarious, because I didn't realize how much I enjoy my voice lessons. And how good they make me feel. And so I am very happy to continue them. (Lesley: Right, right. And I think ...) Well, Pilates is probably the same way.

Lesley Logan  

But I also think if you ask that kind of question in a Pilates class or to your voice teacher or to your therapist, or to any of those things like it is certainly human nature to want to know where is the end to this? (Brad: Sure.) Like, I like to know how many times here and make me do a jumping jack. I want to know how long (Brad: Yeah.) is playing ... (Brad: Well, that's for sure.) gonna be like, I do want to know that. Right. So that's totally human nature. What is amazing, though, is that you heard that, that there was no end in sight yet that she was at least going to give you one and you kept going. And I think that that is what puts you on this pursuit of like, okay, I'm willing to trust this person with whatever it is that I'm working on. (Brad: Yeah.) And so I think if you are in pursuit of something, don't get so hung up on the logistics if you don't have all the answers right away. Start going, start moving on.

Brad Crowell  

One step in front of the other, you know, you're definitely gonna figure that out as as you get along. (Lesley: Yeah.) (Brad claps)

All right. So finally, let's talk about those BEI T action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your conversation with Keri Ford? I am going to jump in and say, she said something that made me laugh because we talked about this all the time.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. But I loved it because she's a mom.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. She said, pour into yourself first. And then you can pour into others later in the day.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. And like, and I love that she said that because she is a mom of two kids. And she runs her own business. And she actually shares partnership of parenting those kids. And so that's an added layer of meaning to organize things. And she said that, and I think it's just important women and ladies, listen to this, no matter who you're caring for. Maybe it's an elderly parent, or it's a child, we really do need to pour into ourselves first. So yeah, I love that she said that.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. And when should you pour on yourself?

Lesley Logan  

So that's mine.

Brad Crowell  

Yes, it is.

Lesley Logan  

So she said, carve out your morning sandbox, which I think is so fun, because sandbox means play. (Brad: Yeah.) Right. Pick three items that you want to do for 10 mi... 10 minute each or so and carve out about an hour in your morning and do them in any order that you feel inclined to do them. So I love this because it's specific, but also there's some play, okay. So we've had, I mean, every single person has their morning routine, you'll all like literally there are books on this, like the 5am and I'm not saying have to get up at 5am. But like, like that your morning is what sets you up. So she gave this this choice. And so if you didn't like the other people's morning routine suggestions, here's one for you, pick three items that you want to do for 10 minutes each or so and carve out about an hour in your morning to do them in any order that you feel so inclined. And I love that because you can change up the order. So you don't have to like, "Oh crap, I can't do my yoga first. So I can't do any of them." Nope, you can do whatever order you want. And she also gave you an hour to do it so that life can life in between those 10 minutes (Brad: Yeah.) or you can or if you're really loving your meditation, you can stay in it. So I thought that was fun ...

Brad Crowell  

Or you get distracted by a thought, you can take a minute to write it down.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, you're not so pressed for time. And, and I really liked this also, if you have not started a morning routine, but it's been something you want to do if you've like heard how long line is. Look mine got there over time and got there by picking things for 10 minutes or doing 30 minute runs or whatever. So give yourself permission to go, "Okay, what are three things I want to do in the morning that can make me feel good?" And then set a timer. And you know, what if if you had meditation, but you sat there and thought about your like to do list, that's okay, you still sat sat somewhere for 10 minutes. And you you know, chalk it up to a practice like I've I've talked to many of meditation people that like it's really okay if you if your mind wandered. (Brad: Sure.) Yeah, so anyways, I thought she was super fun. I love what she's doing with women out in the world. She's, she's, she's someone who is like, walking her talk and her and I think that that's also inspiring, and we can all you know, it's not easy like you she's on a moun... she's on the path with no top. So like it (Brad: Yeah.) means consistent reevaluation of what she's doing. And I really enjoyed having her on to share that with everybody. (Brad: Yeah.) All right. I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell  

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan  

Thank you so much for joining us today. We are so grateful you're here. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Let us know by sending us a DM or email, [email protected]. And also, you can put your questions in there and we'll answer in there and we hope to see you in real life somewhere along our next week's journey, but if not, I'm sure we'll see you in the future.

Brad Crowell  

Bye for now.

Lesley Logan  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day! 

Be It Till You See It is a production of Bloom Podcast Network.  

Brad Crowell  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan. And me Brad Crowell. Our associate producer is Amanda Frattarelli.   

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.   

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.   

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Mesh Herico for creating all of our visuals, (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week, so you can.  

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each episode, so you can find it on our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Create more love, compassion, and confidence. Allow the big emotions into your home and change your life path all with somatics. Listen in to learn how to leap over the mountain, stop dancing on the edge, and become the women you are truly meant to be.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Why somatic coaching is different than therapy 
• Flip the script
• Thinking vs feeling mindset
• How you use somatics to become the person you want to be
• How can you expand and balance your risk tolerance?
• Shifting patterns by recognizing mirroring neurons 
• How to nurture and support big emotions
• Becoming the 1% woman 

BIO: 

Keri Ford is a High Performance Holistic Life Coach.

Keri is the CEO & Founder of Elevate with Keri – an elite transformational coaching movement and luxury brand dedicated to serving and elevating women’s emotional intelligence and whole-body high performance. Her unique online influence and programs have transformed the lives of thousands of women across the globe.

She is an international motivational speaker, author, event host and global authority. She has spoken alongside 50 other top industry experts, neuroscientists, doctors and authors in the personal development industry.

Keri’s high-end clientele includes some of the world’s top female CEOs of multi-million dollar companies, self-made millionaires and other influential public figures.

She also has advanced training as a Behavior Change Specialist and was awarded by IFAH as one of the Top 100 Global Visionaries.

Keri has been featured around the world on Entrepreneur.com, The Huffington Post, SELF.com, NBC, USA Today, Livestrong, and other major publications.

She is also the co-creator of a nearly million dollar company, Shift with Sanctuary – the #1 Inner Circle Experience for The 1% Woman. Keri’s mission is to help women define success on their terms and lead leaders into a life they love through transformational practices.

Episode References/Links:

• Website: https://elevatewithkeri.com/
• Podcast: https://elevatewithkeri.com/literallyfirstclass/

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Hey loves. Okay, I am so excited for us to have another conversation around somatics. And also, I love the way that our guests this week really explains how you can actually implement it in your life and how you can actually help others around you. I think there's some really great gems in here that I you're gonna want to write down. There's also some amazing permission in this episode. So Keri Ford is our guest this week, and you're gonna hear how I met her and this life and I'm just so excited after we got off the podcast. We plan our next trips, and I share that with you because y'all life gets really busy. It's actually always busy. And people are always busy. And so those people that mean something to you in your life, you have to actually make the time for it. And if it doesn't have to be every Saturday or something that's super consistent, but you actually do have to be intentional about it. And so I think what you're gonna find in this podcast is how intentionality is really going to support you in your journey of being it till you see it. So without further ado, here is Keri Ford.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

All right, Be It babes. I am so excited. You might remember a while back when I was doing a recap with Brad and I said, "Yeah, I made a date with a few girls that I have never met. And they're coming out to Vegas, and we're going to hang out and we're gonna go out for dinner. We're gonna spend this weekend together." And people and people are like, "You don't know each other yet?" We're like, "Nope, we don't." And so we became very fast friends. I feel like I've known these women my whole life now even though it's in such a short stint, so Keri Ford is our guest today. She's an incredible woman. Keri, can you tell everyone who you are and what you're rocking?

Keri Ford  

First of all, I just love how we came into each other's worlds. And it's so true. People are like, "You guys are acting like you've known each other for years." And I feel like on some level, because of our parallel and fitness and our work there we have. (Lesley: Yeah) So my name is Keri Ford, and I'm the CEO of Elevate with Keri, and I'm a transformational coach. I started in fitness as a Certified Personal Trainer. And that was my first experience with coaching. And with the World Wide Web and the world of social media, I realized there was a demand for taking things online. But I was one of the OGs. And it was back before you could even really hire a coach to help you figure out what the fuck you were doing. And so I went back to corporate and then I came back to coaching and I elevated and went through my own transformation. And I just get to share the beautiful world of somatics with women that truly want to change their life from the inside out. So it's still wellness related. But I realized the intuitive eating component I had spent a long time teaching was just part of the work that I was doing and the bigger picture.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, so you, I know, it's crazy that we were both in LA doing fitness, like I'm sure we crossed paths at some point, and didn't even know it. But what was that? So you went back to corporate world. Was that that change like for you to go from fitness to coaching and like somatic coaching and being a transformational coach? That I'm sure it has a nice and windy way of getting there. But like, did you notice you're going for as you start on that journey? Or are you kind of figuring it out as you went along?

Keri Ford  

I've always been ever figuring it out, I feel like it's the longest friggin path. Because when you're the first to do things in the online space, you're trying to figure it out for the first time along with all the other first timers. And I remember like watching other people kind of experience their big break, if you will, and being like, what am I doing wrong here? Like how am I not, how can I have other people besides my mom liking my post, you know. And it was really a whole different way to apply what I knew and and teach, you know, online, but I had no idea that I was headed to really be a somatics professional because I didn't even know what that was. (Lesley: Yeah) I just it's almost like I danced with that concept for a very long time without really even knowing that I was always gathering tools to teach this.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, so just in case, we'll just say for Brad, can you explain like what somatics is? And like, how, how that how that makes how that's a special type of coaching?

Keri Ford  

Yeah, somatics is the mind, body connection, which are actually have never been separate. But most people think they're kind of how do I say and just like layman's terms that they just they feel kind of at war with themselves, right? Like, take diet mentality, for example, it's a really easy way to be like, "My body hates me. It's never doing what I want it to do." And this is where we can use the power of our mind and our nervous system to truly create new experiences like in the physical world. So yeah, it's a really powerful way to teach the mind body connection. And it really gets you back into your body where you have felt disconnected.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, like where some people like kind of like walk around us in their head and disconnected from their body, you're like bringing them back into that and then using that to heal themselves and take them where they want to go.

Keri Ford  

Totally.

Lesley Logan  

That's cool. So so were you tra... transformational coaching before somatics? Or was that kind of that actually happened after becoming a somatics coach? What was that like?

Keri Ford  

No, I was trying, I was coaching transformation before, I was just using a lot more mindset and thought rewiring and reframing. So for example, I still use this actually, because I do believe in doing all the different things that I've collected along the way. And one is called flip the script. So this is really fun. And for those that are listening that want to try something like this, it's identifying the belief that you have that seemingly is in opposition to what it is you say you want. So for example, you might say, "I always want to have a coach." Well, all of a sudden, there's this belief that also argues that point. So that's what you want. But then you notice, oh, and I have a thought. And the thought is saying, "Well, that's too expensive." So then you write both of those things down, right. So your goal, or what you want to achieve is I always want to have a coach, then you notice the opposing thoughts. So you write down the opposing thought. And that says, "That's expensive." And then you write down the flip the script. And so what we're doing there is writing down something that might feel like a lie at first, which is, "I can always afford coaching," that might be an example of flipping a script. But we want to, we want to put a book on the shelf of doubt that that belief that's opposing what you want is actually not true. We want to actually start to say, "Well, maybe there's another possibility that's available to me here. Maybe I don't believe it yet." But is it possible? Yes. (Lesley: Yeah) So that's something that I use, for example, and had us before I knew somatic work.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, that's really I mean, I think I just interviewed a woman who had a brain tumor and she had all these because of a four day migraine that the range of our cause, like she ended up having this paralysis, and she was doing so much mindset work on like, "I'm healed. I'm healing all the time. Like my body is healing." Like saying those things. And then all of a sudden, like, parts of her body started working again that weren't working before. Like, it's this incredible thing that we have this power. And yes, they're our brain doesn't like to be in dissonance. So of course, if you can't afford something you're like, "I can always afford that." Like, that's, that is not exactly where the brain loves to be. But if you can start to seek out evidence that will prove that that thought is true, at some point, that is what you want your brain to start going to can, you can make that transformation happen.

Keri Ford  

Totally. So through the somatic work, that might look a little different, we might use the sensations in the body to listen to what it's saying where our current beliefs are. And it's a little less about the words and more about the sensations in the body. So when (Lesley: Interesting) that, like is okay, so, you know, they might be saying, well, I noticed like a tightening in my throat, as you say that belief. Oh, okay, so what is is there's, are there words that want to be spoken? What else can you tell me about that feeling in your throat? If there were a color, what color is it? If there were a smell, and so we really just bring deep awareness to the consciousness of ourselves and the patients in the body. So it's just a different access point. And I love the example you gave, because that really does show you the mind and the body are never separate, the body follows what the mind says. And if we can, in fact, bring them into union, somatics is just a different access point in doing that, and I think it truly accelerates the healing.

Lesley Logan  

But it, okay, so this is interesting. I've done it because my, my therapist is somatics. And so oftentimes, she's like, "Where do you feel this in your body?" And sometimes I'm like, "I don't know ..." 

Keri Ford  

Totally, but even noticing where when a client for me, they look up, I'll ask them how they feel. And then they look up, that tells me they're in their thinking mind, what they think they feel versus what they feel they feel, or know, they feel.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, that that is, well that's so interesting. It's like when people look around before they answer the question, it's like, "Oh, are you trying to figure out what you're gonna say?"

Keri Ford  

We're in the thinking mind, right? Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

So so can we have some more examples of the somatic thing? Because like, you just mentioned, the throat thing. And what I have, I had a client who, every time she would go on a date, she lose her voice, like she would like, (Keri: Oh my God.) I'm not kidding. Like, she would go on one date, and you lose her voice. And I, and I was like, what it... There's gotta be something going on with that. That is not like one time, okay, two times, where at three times like, either you stop dating, or we go... What's going on?

Keri Ford  

Yeah, that's a pattern. And that shows that there's likely a trauma imprint and a feedback loop that's present. So I would, you know, ask her if she's able to connect in that moment, right. And so how I would start this, and the way I do this in my millionaire mindset meditations, is I always bring you into stillness in your body. So we might say, Okay, I'm gonna have you take a few deep breaths, and I want you to bring awareness to your back against the chair, the chair against your back, and just feeling how supported you are. And you're going to close off the visual cortex, the eyes, close the eyes, because that's a little bit easier for people to access with him. And I'm gonna have you look down toward the heart space, even though your eyes are closed. So those are a few cues, I might walk somebody through to bring them in. So they can avoid them going into the thinking mind, because the eyes are not open and searching. And so we're, we're just in the experience of where our body is, like where our feet physically are. That's a very grounding thing to do. And then I might say, if you're able to access it in this moment, can you go back to that feeling that you get when you're on the date, or, or maybe when you feel like the throat is, you're almost going to lose your voice or you have lost your voice, wherever she's able to connect, you might be kind of far along in the process, for example. So she might only be able to connect to after it's happened. What we want to do is kind of walk her back to where she notices, "Oh, this is always how I feel in anticipation of the date, perhaps." (Lesley: Oh, interesting.) Continually manifesting this experience. So it says that something's happening in her body that saying, "I don't feel safe here. I'm powerless, voiceless, whatever." And we want to walk her back to that, right. So can you can you connect to that feeling or sensation in your body? And she might say, "Oh, yeah, I noticed. I'm like, salivating a lot. I feel tightness in my chest and my throat." You're like, "Okay, great. And tell me a little bit more about that. Are there any other sensations like if it had a texture," you know? And then you could you could walk her back into, there's a few different ways here, which is why I'm kind of bumbling around words. It depends on the client, right? (Lesley: Yeah) You might say, does that feel familiar? Anywhere else that you've noticed in your life? Where else does that feels familiar. And she's like, Oh, dots connected, where that imprint took place. Or you might say, if you want to feel safe here, are you open to communicating with this energy, this block, this sensation and ask it why it's there? Oh, this is the only part of me that really felt voiceless and unsafe around men. Again, I'm totally riffing.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. We're just making this up. Yeah, but I'm following. 

Keri Ford  

Yeah, so that's, that's how that could look.

Lesley Logan  

So this is, so this is fascinating, because you can use somatics as far as like healing and changing a pattern that you have in your life. Have you used it to become more of the person that you want to be? Like, is it is it only for releasing? Or is it also can also be used for like where you want to go?

Keri Ford  

Yeah, absolutely for using it to where you want to go. Because we are not where we want to go. Because we don't think we're that woman yet. And that is because of perceived lack, perceived dissonance, perceived separation within ourselves. That's actually what anxiety is. It's perception that we are separate. But the big question here that somatics really answers is, "How do I then become her? How do I change myself? How do I rewire my beliefs?" This is the bridge.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Okay. This is where I want to know, this is why I want to dive in if we can, because, (Keri: Yeah) I believe that, like, we don't like, if you're waiting until things happen to become the person you want to be, you'll never become that person. You'll just wake up (Keri: Right) years later going, "Oh, I'm supposed to just act like that person now." (Keri" Yeah) Right? Like, that's how the stories always go. So I'm wondering, like, for all the people listening, obviously, they're like, "Okay, I'm trying to be it till I see it." Like they're recovering perfectionist, they've got impostor syndrome, these things come up. How how can you use, how can you somatics to like become that person now, so that you don't have that dissonance and you don't create that anxiety.

Keri Ford  

So fear doesn't go away at any level, we just learn to embrace it more. So going back to your question, the first point I want to make when you asked. When do you somatics? Is it just to release whereas it also to become? It's both. Because as we release, we then expand our capacity in our nervous system, and therefore, what feels safe to have hold, keep, etc. I'm going to give an example here of something physical. So back when I was in Tulum with Jake, my partner, we did cliff jumping, and I jumped four stories off into the cenote, and I had never even I don't even know if I've jumped off the high dive anyway, my body felt wildly unsafe. And yet, there was not I had no physical proof that I was going to be unsafe, Jake had done this jump. But my baseline of fear that I had only ever had to compare it to was like super low, right, maybe I only jumped 10 feet. So my body and my mind is like, you're only going to be safe if you jump back because you've done that before the evidence you have says, you will be safe. And so this is insane. And so I knew that was the reason I needed to do it to free myself from that talk track. So I did take the take the jump and my baseline of fear shifted, because now I was no longer the woman who didn't take the jump. I was the woman who did. (Lesley: Yeah, yeah.) I choose to put my body in new visceral experiences, you can do this at home with free therapies like cold showers, you your mind will tell you, you are going to die and you can't do another second longer and oh my God, I can't do this. And that is the reason you must.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, I love that. It's also like if you're doing breathwork, you know, there's like that, if you do a bottom hold, I find those to be a little easier than like a top hole. Which is like where you hold the air in because there's like the brain is like, "I need to take a breath in." (Keri: Yeah I'm suffocating.) And if you can just like, you know, obviously don't do unconscious, but like it take an extra second and show that you can. You can like you can't go one more second, you can give your body that next experience. That is really cool. I love that story actually a lot. I like I feel like I've been that person and other experiences like Brad trying to get me to climb like a rock that's like five stories tall. And I'm like, "I want to be the woman that does this." (Keri: Yeah) I'm so scared of that right now.

Keri Ford  

Totally. And like that fear doesn't really go away if you choose to live your life on the edge, both physically and emotionally, right? That but the edge really I'm talking about is that the nervous system capacity. So we want to dance on the edge, but we don't want to go over it. We don't want to overwhelm the systems that you go into shutdown or a trauma response. But we want to dance on the edge so we can practice stretching and expanding and then create new evidence. I'm safe. I've been here before I'm familiar with this fear. And I know on the other side of it I've been okay. So I can do this again and again and I can do that faster. I see this all the time when I help high achieving women apply this to their decision making. What feels irresponsible often they can say, oh wait a minute, I've been here before in my body maybe I've experienced it was rock climbing, but now I can apply it to business. How can I be a little bit more, how can I expand my risk tolerance here?

Lesley Logan  

Oh, that's so interesting. Yeah, it's like so transferable in different ways. Yeah. (Keri: Yep. Nothing's ...) Yeah. So, you know, I think I like thinking about people who I know listen to the show, and I think like nodding along. They're all most of them are in movement of some kind, like some sort of movement professional. So I think they're like, "Yep, yep, totally agree." And then, and then there's, like, family, and partners, and all these responsibilities that are on them. And so how I know you're a mom, and you have a partner, how, how do you balance like trying to challenge is the wrong word, but like how to train retrain the body that like, "Okay, I can take this tolerance level. I can take this tolerance level." And also like, the regular life, with all the things that are going like, I feel like, I'd be like, "Okay, I'm doing this. Oh, you want food." Okay. Do you what I mean? How do you actually balance all of that? Or can you?

Keri Ford  

... so the question, just so I'm clear is how do you apply it in real life?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, like if you if you're, if you're like, "Yes, I believe this. I'm doing all these things." And then there's like life happening. And so it's, you know, like in a vacuum, it can be like, on a retreat, or at a workshop, it can be like, "Yes, I get this." And then you go back into your household, and you go back into your routines, and like, you know, some things you can change. I can change my morning routine a bit. I don't have kids, (Keri: Yeah) but like other people, they have families that they have to support and they can't change their routines too.

Keri Ford  

Yeah, I mean, I think the deepest, like most masterful level of being the embodiment is also letting this be your walking meditation, if you will, like we don't have to sit in a session with a somatic you know, practitioner to necessarily always access our piece. And I say this when I lead retreats, like let's not make this a going to church experience we're like, "Hallelujah. I'm so fucking inspired." Like, "Yes, sister, like, I love it." And then you go home, and you're fucking right back where you were before the retreat. This is about taking what you learn and applying it in your everyday. So we'll start with small changes. We call this titration and somatics. One of the beautiful, beautiful examples they give of this is if you have two separate chemicals in beakers, and you pour one into the other really fast, it explodes. But if you take these two explosive chemicals that are separate, and you take a dropper, and you titrate, it drop by drop, it's fizzes. And it combines it fizzes. And it combines and slowly over time, they're combined, but they're changed. It's called titration. So we've got to go slow and expand, feel safe, relax, integrate, and we're gonna go slow, expand, relax, integrate, and it's really a dance. So it's small practices throughout the day. It's inviting your partners into those conversations, and being willing to do things differently with your eyes open walking throughout the day. Right. So now it's an example in partnership. I feel triggered, who I know this place in my body. I feel anxious. It's fluttery. This feels like how I am when I'm unsafe. This is a reason for me not to vocalize it where I maybe haven't before, hey, I'm feeling really triggered right now. There's something very activated and alive in my body. And I wanted to share with you. Just simply for sharing just just because you're going to share, you're going to lean into that. So that's how you start to create change in your home. You can't compartmentalize it, especially once you shift your way of being.

Lesley Logan  

So this is like a total ticket to me. I just see it as like a be it till you see, it's like how do you get the family on board with it, you actually have to be the like, be the conversation you wish was happening around you so that it can happen around you. (Keri: Yeah and ...) So sharing that moment with them.

Keri Ford  

Totally. And at the end of the day, we can't change the people around us. But especially if you're a mom and the kids are there, they may not have words for the experience or the shift, but they will mirror you because that's what mirror neurons do. And so if you're mirroring anxiety, they'll mirror it back. If you're mirroring peace and calm and groundedness they will mirror it back. So you will just see what is alive in you in two little bodies running around with you two kids like me.

Lesley Logan  

That is so true. I mean, like we I mean, we don't have actual human children, but our four legged ones. If we are anxious or frustrated or like something just goes wrong, or like we react out loud, the dogs will wake up from their amazing slumber and they're like, (Keri: Yeah) and then they're on edge and they're like walking around, they're barking at things and (Keri: Yeah) we are yelling at them for barking and they're like, "But I'm doing this for you. Like this is the (Keri: Yeah) energy you're putting out there.

Keri Ford  

Yeah, that's called a tuning to someone else's nervous system. (Lesley: Yeah) So an example would be birds where one bird flies away and the other birds don't even think they just fly (Lesley: Yeah) for the whole flock. They're tuning.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So, um, so I totally understand the tuning because like, Brad and I don't share an office any more we used to and, and we have different times that we work in the day, and we have different ways of working. And so like, I was like, "This tuning is not working for me. I need to be in my own office." But, you know, I think like, even with both partners being on board with like having these conversations and working through these feelings and saying and saying, what's on their mind? Don't do you find like, I find like, sometimes I'm having the conversation, the other person's like, having a great day, and then they're having the conversation in the middle of my great day. And like, do, do you, do you ever, do you ever see like, it's that each person is kind of going on at their own space, where have you and your partner found that you're kind of going at the same pace?

Keri Ford  

Oh, I think it just depends. There are often times where I'm holding space for him. And there's nothing to say do fix provide other than to listen, and to be still and to be grounded in that I don't join him in his, you know, anxiety, I am grounded enough in myself that I don't need to right. And that is through the practice of somatic work that I've done on myself. Now, a previous more sensitive version of me that didn't know how to harness this empathic superpower would attune to that partner's nervous system, and then we'd both be in the tornado of like chaos and anxiety. So I don't need to join him, because I don't need to fix him. And so then then it'll flip flop. Or sometimes we're both kind of like, this is a yucky day, you know, like, what do we want to do here? What's, how can we create more joy? What experience do we want to have?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I think like asking those questions is really true. And it and I love that you shared like being grounded in yourself, I think, depending on who you're in relationship with, like for us, I know. Like when Brad's like I'm having anxiety around this right now. I'm like, "Okay, have a seat at the red light." Do you, would you like some suggestions on some meditations to do? Or do you have one you want to use, you know, and vice versa? It's like, okay, it's like, (Keri: Yeah) you don't actually have to go there with them, to to support them. And I think a lot of times people feel like, oh, I need to like, meet them where they are, I can't really have the great day that I'm having. If they're having a moment. It's like, no, actually, you can actually be grounded in yourself. I love that you said that and allow them to have their moment feel seen and feel here, (Keri: Yeah) which probably will take a lot of that anxiety away.

Keri Ford  

And it's actually more loving and more compassionate not to join them. Because what they need is to be with their feelings and know that that's okay. We so often go quickly into clean it up, right? You're crying when we hand you a tissue, hurry up, put yourself back together, messes aren't allowed, big feelings are uncomfortable. The only person they are uncomfortable for, is the person listening. So if you find that you are going into rescuing mode, any listeners out there, or you're the one providing the tissue or you instantly go to console them to try and fix what would happen if you just sat with your discomfort of their big emotions, because that's about you, not them. And then everyone gets to just be okay with their own experience.

Lesley Logan  

Oh my gosh, would the world be a different place?

Keri Ford  

Yeah. And women are just, you know, so groomed in this fawn response that it's a slippery slope. You don't even know you're doing it sometimes.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Yeah. I think I definitely think that's an will be a challenge for some people. But it also like, I hope you're if you're listening this like it's a welcoming challenge. Like you don't have to fix anything. Like you don't have to, like just like ...

Keri Ford  

Feel free in that space. It's just like, oh, I trust that they can have their own experience. And it means nothing about me.

Lesley Logan  

Right. Oh my God. That is that is phenomenally freeing. You know, I imagine like, with your kids, like, as a parent, that has to be one something, you know, that is the right thing to do. And also so challenging, because I'm sure you don't want to see your children crying, you don't want to see them frustrated and anxious. Like how how do you handle it with the kids is the same as you do with your partner? Is it just like you let them feel their feelings? Or do you talk them through it?

Keri Ford  

Yeah, it's a little different with the kids. I know so often from guiding my clients through inner child work, where we acknowledge younger parts of ourself that have been waiting for us to come back as the adult self, the mature one, or for my own work that like that, that little one just wants love. Right? And so how can I, how can I provide a safe space just to share and again not send them off to their room because of their big emotions? Or say, "Stop crying. What's wrong with you?" And sometimes, you know, like, we'll notice our parents recording that they like laid over our and recorded into our brain like comes out. We're like, "Whoa, where the hell did that come from?" But as best I can, I often make space for big emotions in the house. We both do. And I will ask, "is there a certain way I can love you right now? Is there some something you would like or need from mommy." So they make a request for support. "Yeah, I just need a hug. Ah, okay, cool. I'm giving you a hug." And then they're like, 'Okay, I'm good." You know, it's there just have a need that's unexpressed, they didn't know how to speak.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, yeah. I feel like how different the world could be if like, that, parents of our generation, the generation before we're even given that, like, I'm just, you know, I know, for from like, my dad's, my grandparents were from the depression, there was not even, like a luxury to feel your feelings. There was like so, so little that anyone had. So you just just dusted yourself off, and there was no crime, right? And there's no touching, there's no hugging, there's a little loving. And I think that like, each generation has gotten a bit better at at least understanding that but I, I do know that most people are like, don't cry in public, like, children should be seen not heard, like, you know, that kind of a thing. (Keri: Yeah) And so I feel like there's a lot of adults out there who, who are really childlike in their big emotions, because they've never known how to actually express them and deal with them on their own.

Keri Ford  

It's given me a lot of compassion for my parents who are humans, right. And once you see your parents in their humaneness, you're like, oh, oh, okay. Like you don't have all the answers, like, you don't have to tell me who I need to be. And I don't have to seek your approval anymore. Like, I can find that on my own. And there's a grieving in that, in discovering they're human. And also, I have so much compassion for the parts of them that have come forward as much, much younger, childlike parts in in tantrum, I remember, a very funny Christmas, funny, and that it was interesting, where my dad was basically in a tantrum with my actual child, so his inner child, and if I was my actual child, and I put them both in their room, you know, like, let's everyone just take a reset here. And he did, he went to his room, and he had a cooldown and my son went to his room, and he had a cooldown and they just needed to be with some, you know, thoughts and things, because then it was getting a little bit disrespectful. And I had to chuckle about it, because I'm like, well, I two years ago, I never would have been able to see this for what it was, and just handle it from a place of neutrality. (Lesley: Yeah) And so they came back, we all had a conversation after everyone decided they wanted their own space. And that was it.

Lesley Logan  

Didn't have to be a thing who did this, like family thing (Keri: No) that now you no longer see them at Christmas? And

Keri Ford  

Yeah, that was like really surreal. Because I'm like, wow, my dad's inner child is fighting with my actual child ...

Lesley Logan  

You know, so thanks, you said two years, like, I guess like, for the for the people who are like trying to check the boxes in their world? What is that, I mean, obviously, it depends on each person. But like, as you went through your somatics and the training and the coaching that you've seen with people, what is what is the length of time for this transformation to happen? Is it something that can happen overnight? Is it a lifelong training, when when can people start to see a bit of of the results.

Keri Ford  

Most clients work with me for an average of two years, but I've also had clients be with me, and whatever evolution I'm in of coaching for the last decade. So this is a lifelong journey, any personal development, I believe, if you're committed to living on the edge, and you're truly what I call the 1% woman, which is a woman that sees things differently, and she's willing to go to her edge over and over and over again, because it's in service to herself and the people she serves, then it is a mountain with no top. And I mean that in a really exciting way, not from a place of brokenness or lack. I mean, we are all already healed and whole as we are, and so much more peace is available. This isn't a box to check. And that's a really, that's the learning right there. For so many of us that are high achievers, I call this achiever anxiety, right? It's the thing that keeps us locked in to the idea that we need a checkbox at all. So this isn't about meditating on a mountain and having all your good come to you. But it is about finding a balance between what if I just allowed things and attracted things while also marrying that with strategy work in a way that doesn't have me force get or try to control? And so that's really, I'm glad you asked that because that's specifically the niche of women that I work with. (Lesley: Yeah) The sick overachievers that are like, "Just tell me what to do, and I'll do it." And I'm like, "I know. Because motivation is not the issue for you. Fucking relaxing is." So how are we, how can we relax and not burn our business down or like quit our job? How can we do both? How can we have all the success that we want, but feel really good about it in our body, too?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Oh, yeah. You just describe many of people listening. I always say (Keri: Yeah) I'm a recovering perfectionist and overachiever. And someone's like, we can never like, I don't think that's possible. And I was like, oh, it's I don't know that it's possible. You have recovered of those two things. But I think I can always be in recovery. And that means I can make mistakes and I can, I can make, I can make the adjustments as needed and get back on track. So I feel like that is very helpful for those people listening who are like, "Okay, but how long? Okay, but when?"

Keri Ford  

The minute we ask how long, we've left the present moment. (Lesley: Yeah) And so that in and of itself is why you need this work ...

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So I'm wondering, Keri you've done so much, and you like you, you're you've really, you've really had an incredible arc in your career. What is it that you're excited about next? Like, are you, is there something that you're being it till you see it next? What's what's happening next for you?

Keri Ford  

Yeah, so we launched a podcast not long ago, which was a whole other level of being seen for me just on video and recording and hearing my voice like, oh, that's kind of exposing, isn't it? So that was (Lesley: Oh yeah.) exciting. And now I'm getting ready to literally create, like the best work of my life. And it's called the Somatic Success Academy. And it's the leadership training every woman needs for her nervous system. So whether you're in corporate, or you're CEO of your own company, or somebody else's, like if you are a woman in leadership, we will meet this, this is going to be ideal for you and your teams. And I'm building out something that does not exist in the way that I think it should. And so that's where I'm at right now. That's what we're building. And we're, we're getting ready to do some really massive pre sales and fun master classes around it.

Lesley Logan  

That's so cool. First of all, what's the name of your podcast so people can listen?

Keri Ford  

Literally First Class

Lesley Logan  

I love that. (Keri: Yeah) And so I love where you're going. I love what your ... but you're putting together how have you had to change what you what you do in your day to day to step into that. Like, what is that, what does that look like?

Keri Ford  

oof. you got to walk with the work? Right, that I said earlier, like, the true testimony to mastery is being the deepest embodiment of the walking meditation, like, you live this and people feel it from you. I mean, when you and I met, I was going through like a 30-day makeup free challenge in myself ...

Lesley Logan  

Y'all, she did makeup free 30-days, and she had a Las Vegas weekend in there. And we went to dinner and we went to shows. 

Keri Ford  

Yeah, I mean, that's the kind of courage that I require myself to show up with. And so I'm not going to teach it if I haven't walked it. And I know that I wish this work was available to me years ago, how many times I would have saved myself the burnout and the sickness and all the things that came with the high strung anxiety that I thought I masked so well, but my body knew better.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Oh, thank you for sharing that. Because I think I think it's fun to hear where people have come from and where they're at now. And then also like, for like, you know, there's the mountain with no top and not in a depressing way in an exciting way. It's like, okay, it's not that like, I like I can't stop and settle but it's like, there is another level that I have now come become aware of and like to be that person. I can't, what got me here, won't get me there. Like I gotta get to the next. So, so I love hearing that. And I think it's so true. I think where a lot of impostor syndrome can come in is where people are like see where they want to go but then they act the way that they are. And then there's like, yeah, you, yeah, you're not going to feel good enough to be there because you're not changing the steps around yourself to make sure you can be there so yeah.

Keri Ford  

Everything you're attached to that you that you think defines you, your titles, the fucking logos, the as seen on, the press release. What fuck all that shit. I have all that on my website. I will tell you it's never made me feel like warm enough, right? What's made me feel more enough is finding peace in my body and giving less fucks and playing at the top of every mountain that I then uncover. So yeah, I mean all that just it doesn't even, it doesn't even matter at the end of the day. Um, so it is it is a really exciting place to play when you realize you can truly gamify life.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, oh gosh, I can't wait to hear how this goes. You'll have to come back and tell us how everything is (Keri: Yeah. I love to.) and then we'll hear what your next thing is. We're gonna take a brief break and and find out where people can work with you, find you, follow you. Alright, Keri, where do you like to hang out? Where can people learn more about you? Where can they study with you if this is something that's been interesting, intriguing for them?

Keri Ford  

Yeah, if you guys are looking for a program that you know might sound interesting for you whether it be meditations to add to your daily life or a retreat experience where you want to go deeper into something that's really going to rock your fucking world. You can find me at elevatewithkeri k e r i.com And that has all the socials and things on there we have a bunch, so just go to the website.

Lesley Logan  

Perfect. Okay, before I let you go, you've given us some amazing tools already. But BE IT action items. Bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it.

Keri Ford  

Yeah, carve out your morning sandbox. If you don't have a morning practice, it doesn't have to be rising grind, it doesn't have to be 5:30am and it can look however the fuck you want it to look but pick three items that you want to do for 10 minutes each or so and carve out about an hour in your morning and do them in any order that you feel inclined to do them. So couple options could be breathwork, meditation, stretching, do some Lesley's Pilates, or like any of that good juicy stuff that lights you up that's life giving, pour into yourself first so that you can then pour into others later in the day.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, I could not agree more with all of that. Yes to all, I I love my morning sandbar like I go to the sandbox. I love it, I love like playing in. Some days I do the walk and then the red light and then Pilates sometimes I do it with like but I asked myself like, "What do I want right now?" All of these things that light my fire and fill me up so yes to that. I want to hear y'all how are you going to use these tips in your life? What what is what is Keri said that has really touched you, changed you, inspired you to do something? Make sure you tag @elevatewithkeri, tag the @be_it_pod. Share this with a friend. Right. Like imagine if the people in your life could all see you when you're going through something instead of tried to hand you a tissue and tell you to bury it like I mean, I think we could have a lot of different holiday situations, (Keri: Right. I know.) and the situations if that was the case. Keri, ah girl I love you. (Keri: I love you.) I wish we were seeing each other way more often. We'll have to do another trip soon. And until next time everyone, Be It Till You See It.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day! 

Be It Till You See It is a production of Bloom Podcast Network.  

Brad Crowell  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan. And me Brad Crowell. Our associate producer is Amanda Frattarelli.  

Lesley Logan  

 Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing. 

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.  

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Mesh Herico for creating all of our visuals, (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week, so you can. 

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each episode, so you can find it on our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time

Transcribed by https://otter.ai