Be It Till You See It

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. They are the key to success in every aspect of your life. They are what allows you to use your full space given on this earth and be able to return to those you love the most. They create health relationships and mindsets that seep into every area of your life. Tune in for this episode for steps to establish these transforming boundaries, especially around the holiday season. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Tips to surviving and creating boundaries during the holiday season.
• The messy backpack experience and how to use it.
• The two things celebration achieves.
• How to make it easier to uphold your boundaries.
• Who are you giving your 15 minutes too? 
• The two types of availability.

Episode References/Links:

• Tour Info
• Join us on a retreat!

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

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• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the boundless convo I had with Tanya Dalton in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that one, you're going to want to go back, listen to that one, and then listen to this one. Because first of all, she's frickin amazing. Second of all, everything will you'll want to hear the recap with that. So it's like seven to 17 reminders of how much you need to have boundaries.

Brad Crowell  

This was a really amazingly actionable conversation. And also, like really inspiring. She is a powerhouse. (Lesley: She's powerhouse.) Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

And she knows that which I love. I love when people own their shit. So I, there's a lot going on, actually, in real time, Brad actually is in Philly as we speak.

Brad Crowell  

I probably just landed.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. But I'm still missing Cambodia, like I really just, I just am, I really want to go back. I wish we were going back sooner than later. But at any rate, you probably saw the pictures, you're still seeing them and have a lot of FOMO. So if you haven't yet, done it, get on the waitlist for the next one, so that you don't have FOMO anymore. And you can just go. And if you're thinking, "Oh my gosh, you guys have so much going on. I've got kids, I've got all these things." Guess what you're going to ask for help for your kids to be taken care of. So you can go and retreat yourself. (Brad: Yeah) So go to lesleylogan.co/retreats.

Brad Crowell  

Do it. Come join us. Well, we also got back from a road trip just before I went to Philly.

Lesley Logan  

I know it's been a little crazy.

Brad Crowell  

And we we actually this I'm putting this out into the future here. But we saw the damn Grand Canyon.

Lesley Logan  

We saw it. We saw it. Oh my gosh, if you're on the newsletters, Amanda, our producer was like, "Hey, do you have those pictures of how you did see the Grand Canyon?" And I said, "Oh yeah." So I texted her the pictures. And I forgot how much you can't frickin see because we didn't see anything. And I was like, "Maybe I'm being dramatic." And when I looked at the pictures, nope, not being dramatic never saw it, definitely was a white wall. So if you're on our list, you saw those pictures from our life. And we saw the Grand Canyon. I'm so excited about it. And I'll tell you more about all the details of what we did there in a future episode. But I am just so grateful that we got to take a day for ourselves and check out the Grand Canyon. (Brad: Yeah) And here's the thing, Brad's gonna come back from Philly, I'm going to head to Dallas to teach. And if you're wanting to know if there's any space left in the workshop with Erika Quest, and I just DM me on Instagram, because I don't know in this exact moment if there will be or not. But I will tell you that I am going to be back in Texas to teach some classes and only be in Texas, we're going to be in Nashville, Atlanta, Greensboro ... more and more more. It's really friggin awesome. Brad just loves to put me on tour. It's like living out his music days. So go to onlinepilatesclasses.com/tour. If you are in the States, and you're wanting to be in a pilates workout with me, and you know, maybe get away from some holiday shenanigans for a moment to, you know, serve yourselves with Pilates.

Brad Crowell  

Well, speaking of those shenanigans, that leads us directly into our question.

Lesley Logan  

I know, I really do. I saw this question come through. And I'm like, "Yeah, we should talk about this on this episode."

Brad Crowell  

That was a heck of a transition right there. So how do you handle family and the holidays when it comes to boundaries?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So when we got this question, I was like, "Oh, I have to go in Tanya Dalton's because it's all about boundaries," like boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. And and I don't know, maybe that is the secret key to life. Probably is. (Brad: Yeah) How we, how, well Brad, why don't you go first? How do you handle your family and holidays and boundaries?

Brad Crowell  

Well, I I think that for me, it's a little different. Because obviously they're my family. It's how I grew up. I'm very used to how they function and operate. But I probably have a better boundary creation when it, when I was around your family of like, hey, we're going to you know, call it a night and we're going to retire and go into our, the spare bedroom and we're going to close the door. Right? That's one way to set a boundary, the (Lesley: Yeah) door is closed and other one is being clear upfront with what you're participating in and not participating in. If that's like, if you know, because my family is like, when you're there you are 100% in on every possible thing for every second you're connected to them, you know, and that's that's just the way ...

Lesley Logan  

They do lunch (Brad: function breakfast, they do dinner and I ... (Brad: everybody's together) And so I think what's interesting is like, you made the point, you know, you know your family because you grew up with them. (Brad: Yeah.) So first of all, if it is with your family, and you do know how they operate before you go, think about what is the normal things that happen in which things you want to participate in and then just let them know before you're there, so it's not this going back to Elle Russ it doesn't have to be this like demand confrontational conversation, you always make me have lunch with you, I don't want to do it could just say, "Hey, here's what we'll be participating in. And here's what things we probably won't be available for. I want to give you a heads up before you go grocery shopping." (Brad: Yeah) Right.

Brad Crowell  

Also too like, if you know that after dinner, you know, when everybody's like, completely sloshed. And the conversation always becomes absurd or antagonistic or degrading, or whatever you are, you know, one thing that what some of our friends have done is they get themselves their own hotel room, they actually don't stay home. And so you can simply say, "Hey, you know, at nine o'clock, we're gonna go back to our hotel." And that way, you're completely separated from them. And you already know, okay, I all I have to do is survive that long. (Lesley: Yeah.) And I hope that that's not your situation, but it very well maybe.

Lesley Logan  

You can also love your family a ton and want to stay in a hotel room. (Brad: Surre) One of my dear friends, I'll keep her name off of this, but but she does get now she lives near her family because she had a kid but she did get an Airbnb, and not stay with her in laws, or even her own family and, and they were like, a little uncomfortable about it the first year and she's like, "Look, I love you, and I want to stay loving you and I want to be here for a whole week. If I have to live with you, I'm gonna be here for 24 hours." (Brad: Right) So she's like, "I just have things that I like to do. And I want to be able to do that." And so you don't have to it doesn't have to be about them, it can actually be about you. For me, (Brad: Yeah) to have all the energy to keep up with this, this is what I need. And if people don't respect that, that's a different decision you have to make that is actually separate from this and maybe outside my paygrade. And where therapy should be in place.

Well, let's talk about your you know, for example, you have a morning routine. You get up, you have for run, you sit with, you know, you read, you whatever you're journaling sometimes ...

I work out in your parents living room (Brad: working out) I take over at the ...

Brad Crowell  

But you know, and around our house, because I'm not an early riser, you're not interrupted, generally speaking. But at my house my dad gets up at six. (Lesley: Oh, yeah, no, they're, like, "Good morning.") You know my mom gets up at 6:37, (Lesley: I'm like, good morning.) You know, so like, it definitely changes your morning routine, because of the other people in the house. And so it might be that you need to separate yourself so you can maintain your routine.

Lesley Logan  

Well, and I don't and so here's the thing, like, I don't invite them for a walk with me. It's not because I don't want to see them. (Brad: Right) It's because that is my morning routine and that is my time. And then I can, I have breakfast with them, which is also normal. But I keep that. So I think it's like, truly think of picture out past holidays. What you didn't enjoy. And then what can you set the stage for this time, so that you can have the conversation in a non confrontational way, here's what you can expect from me. I know you're doing your holiday shopping, I just want you to plan ahead. And here's, here's what I won't be participating in. (Brad: Yeah) Because we've got some things going on. Thank you so much. I can't wait to see you, the end. You know, and if people are passive aggressive, that is a different story. And they always will be like you're never going to there's nothing you're going to do that ever get. They'll be passive aggressive, but something else. (Brad: Yes.) It's not you. It's them.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. And you know, the other thing is to like, maybe you don't stay for a whole week, maybe only stay for four days, you know. So anyway, I think those are pretty actionable (Lesley: Yeah) tips there. Great question. Thank you so much for asking and ...

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. You can send questions into the @be_it_pod on Instagram. You can also send them in to the team, you can reply to our on our newsletters, whatever it is, we'll find them, we'll answer them. We love answering them. So thank you for that one.

Brad Crowell  

Okay, now let's talk about Tanya Dalton. With intent to allow her husband to stop traveling for work to be closer to their kids. Tanya Dalton grew her for fun side hustle business into a multi million dollar company replacing his income within the first year so he could come home and work with her. Since she since written multiple books, kicked off her own podcast, appeared as a featured guest on TV new shows, and has received awards for helping female executives and entrepreneurs step into purposeful leadership, so they can do less while achieving so much more.

Lesley Logan  

I mean, you know, I was all about her. Like, I was like, yeah, no, she's totally right for the show.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, I mean, I didn't I didn't include any actual specifics in there. But she has like a rockin company. And she, she loves she's a coach. And she, you know, she's a rock star.

Lesley Logan  

She's got two books. So get out there and read them put them in as part of your holiday travel, reading or listening on tape. It's they're so essential for preparing you for the next year. 100%. One thing that I love that she said she brought up the messy backpack experience. And like, you know, I'm a visual person. So she's talking my brain was just thinking about a big person's like to school, all these things. Do you ever if you ever like met those people who like you're, you're like, "Oh, I spilled on myself." And they pull on Tide pen and you're, "What the hell? Like they're so prepared." That's Brad actually. And so many people are like a little ashamed of how messy the inside their purse or mess... a messy that set their backpack is. But actually, like, very rarely is anyone actually seeing what's inside your bag.

Brad Crowell  

Well, just so that there's some kind of context, it's not about an actual backpack. (Lesley: No.) We're talking about the experiences of getting through life and like handling trauma and all the feelings and you know, good days, bad days, depressing days, exuberant days, basically, she was talking about, you know, just putting one step in front of the other, and doing life that way. And along the way, you will end up collecting, you know, all of these experiences, and you throw in your backpack, and she said, but it's messy in there. So you don't necessarily let people in the backpack. But when you're, when you need an experience, when you when you need something, you have something to pull from. And that's where Lesley's talking about the purse. I think it's hilarious that you could actually, you know, just just pull out a Tide pen, for example.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Yeah. And that comes from it. And I think we're so it's so easy for to get ashamed that like how we got to something. And I think we we think that our way to achievement should be pretty imperfect and like something you like, it's so beautiful. But most achievements are messy. Most roads to the to wherever you're going have obstacles, you trip, you stumble, you get dirty, like (Brad: Totally.) you know, it's just so funny when now that things like everything has been filmed. And like the truth is, and if I filmed everything that I did, most the time, you'd say my hair is not brushed, it's not done up, I trip, I'm on many walks, like, you know, but all those experiences allow you to show up with so many tools in your backpack when you need them. (Brad: Yeah) So acknowledge that you actually have this backpack full of tools full of things you need. Because it's all there for you, you eat. If you were listening to this, you have a backpack that is messy, you just might not be looking at it, because you're avoiding it. But you have it and it's there. And it's there to help you. So I just love that she brought that up. I think it was really cool, easy for you to picture. And I hope people start like using their messy backpacks. Bring it with you. What do you love?

Brad Crowell  

So she talked about this high five Fridays, and she said that her customer service team, actually she said our customer happiness team gathers together, the nice comments in the notes that they collected all week long. And they email them out to everybody on Friday, late afternoon. It's the last email that they get before the end of the week. And it's a it's it's basically just a reminder that they're having a positive impact in people's lives. Because I think that it's easy to get lost in the weeds, it's easy to get lost in the whirlwind, as we like to say. And you said, you know, that's amazing, it creates a culture of celebrating, and then talking, talking about the wins, you know, channel that we use and stuff. And and Tanya said that celebrating is so cool. Because it does two things, it brings people in to the experience. It allows them to see well that they could have that experience that they want that experience. And the second thing it does is it furthers your own belief in yourself, which impacts other areas of your life of your life. Right. So when you have a win at work, and you're like, "Wow, this is amazing. I helped my client, you know, stand taller today and she looks amazing because of it." You know, when you acknowledge that and celebrate that, it will help you find more wins in your you know, when you go back home to your house. And there's like you know, something there and you're taking that energy, that excitement back to the rest other parts of your life.

Lesley Logan  

I mean, you know, I feel about wins. I just think that I mean we have Fuck Yeah, Friday, I decided we need merch. We need FYF merch. (Brad: Oh) Because like what a (Brad: great) great thing to wear and really was FYF and you go it's Fuck Yeah Friday. What's that? What means you celebrate? At least celebrate on Fridays. And I just, I really think the more whether it's a high five Friday, and FYF or, you know, a motivating Monday, it's really important to establish some sort of time that you look at what is going well and the impact you're having. Because it just makes it better. It makes it easier, it makes it easier for you to uphold your boundaries.

Brad Crowell  

That's exactly right. Anyway, I think that the the high five and FYFs all that stuff if you aren't doing that in your life now. Just put it on your calendar. So like remind yourself at 4:30 on Friday afternoon, bing alarm goes off. And now it's like, "Oh yeah, I need to find something to celebrate right now. That's great in my life." And to be honest, it could be very small. It doesn't have to be this ma... like majestically huge, massive thing it could be you know, I got up when my alarm went off this morning. I didn't, I didn't hit snooze. (Lesley: That's amazing.) Yeah. You know, I, this morning, I started my day with a very cold shower.

Lesley Logan  

I did hear that I like heard sounds coming out of it.

Brad Crowell  

It was like, I don't know why I've been doing this now for like two weeks. But today's shower seemed colder than every other shower I've had. I don't know why. (Lesley: That definitely ...) I was like took my breath away.

Lesley Logan  

But I mean, but just to point out, it's okay to have those wins that are like things that you are just getting done or just doing because you did something (Brad: Yeah) and you need to have that data, that data supports you in everything you want to do. So I'm into it.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. Well stick around. We'll be right back.

All right. Finally, let's talk about those BE IT action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Tanya Dalton? I'm going to throw this one in real quick. She just kind of had it at the very end. It was kind of a comment less an action BE IT action on it. But I really thought it was powerful. She said if you can't give yourself 15 minutes. That means you're giving it to somebody else instead. (Lesley: Oh, yeah.) Okay. And you were talking about like, you know, the It must be nice for you, which we'll we're gonna get into, but must be nice that you can walk around the block for 15 minutes. Well, I'm sorry that you can't take 15 minutes for yourself. But I need to go walk around the block.

Lesley Logan  

Well, and also like, I'm not I'm sorry. It's like, it's a little bit like, I am sorry for you, actually.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. I'm sad. I'm petty. (Lesley: Yeah ...) You don't need to be condescending ... you know.

Lesley Logan  

No, but you don't but like that. I mean, like, I mean, let's just get into it. So I we got into this whole it must be nice convo. And I have we've had the episode before on the mental wellness, a wellness shaming, and when like you do go for a walk around the block or like you do do something nice. And some of them (Brad: sure) oh must be nice for you. You know, if you are someone who's saying that, because it really you're like, "Oh, it must be so nice for them." Just say, "I'm so happy for you that you can do that." (Brad: Yeah) Because when you say it must be nice for you. It does make the other person feel like it's a passive aggressive, nasty comment.

Brad Crowell  

Oh, yeah, it makes you look bad, (Lesley: Yeah) too that way.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Yeah. And also ...

Brad Crowell  

... so nice for you. You know, (Lesley: Yeah) I don't be around that.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. And the reality is, if you find yourself saying that to yourself about someone, you're not even saying out loud, and come ask me, how nice for them. That is a sign that they're doing something that you wish you were doing. (Brad: Yeah) So jealousy is not an awful thing if you use it as a flashlight or a magnifier around an area of your life that you want to improvement.

Brad Crowell  

That's true. Like, it must be nice for you. Maybe it's it must be nice for them. And it's something you're thinking. Like, I wish that I could do that too. (Lesley: Yeah) Kind of the thing ...

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. If you're thinking that then what boundaries do you need to put in place so that you can have those things to where ...

Brad Crowell  

Let's talk about your big takeaway.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, so boundaries, boundaries, like I was just like, wow, like, this is like, we just got all on the boundaries. And I really did not expect that from her bringing her on, because she's an amazing author of other things. But she does talk about it a lot. So ...

Brad Crowell  

Well, she's a mom. (Lesley: Yeah) She's a spouse. She's a mom. She's a business owner. She's a homeowner. 

Lesley Logan  

And I think like when it's really easy to think about when when you think about the boundaries in a business, you forget that your marriage is a business, you forget that your best friend is like, all relationships and itself are some sort of entity, whether they are for profit or not for profit. And so what is really important, and what I really think it distilled down to is like communication around your wants and needs. (Brad: Yeah.) And, and if you don't know what boundaries need to be changed in your life, then you have to look at where you're getting a little bit frustrated, just a little bit fru... like the first frustration of the day, the thing that takes you out of the wind moment and right in ... what is that, because that's about when you are resenting someone is because you are not upholding a boundary that needs to be there.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. Yeah, I think you should say that again. When you're resenting someone.

Lesley Logan  

When you're resenting someone is because there is a boundary that's not being upheld that needs to be there. (Brad: Yeah) It needs to be and we talked about this, the idea of like a school, and if the school is next to a busy road, and there is no fence and they tell the kids don't go, don't stay close to school (Brad: stay close, stay close.) What it does is create uneasiness because no one knows what stay close is it's very vague. So you've got some kids who are like the total like perfectionist like okay, I'll just touch the wall. I won't leave the wall and (Brad: Right) then they're not actually relaxing. (Brad: ... next to the teacher) right, and then the teachers like, "Get away from me because like I need some time." And then there's this kids are like, "Well, I'm not I'm like I'm in between the school and the busy road. Hahaha. I'm so close because I'm close to the school." And like ... (Brad: That may or may not have been me.) It's really Brad. And I'm totally we grow like squeezing the wall but next to the teacher like look at me, "I'm so close to the school." And it's like just no one knows how to behave and no one has interact. But when you put that boundaries are placed on the fence is put up, that everyone can play (Brad: Yeah) and take up space inside that fence. And that allows people to really understand what is allowed and what's not allowed. And it's so much more freer, like just picture just picturing that, like, sounds like freedom, and there's still boundaries in place. So anyways, take a moment, and she talked about this being a thing that you can do, like, take a moment to assess inventory, of your boundaries, which ones like it, that's kind of like, it's kind of like what you do on the house, you would go and make sure that your fence is intact around the house, especially if you're getting a puppy at Christmas, you're gonna make sure that there's no hole in the fence, right?

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. If you don't know what it means to have boundaries, then here's ... 

Lesley Logan  

Here's the sign. You don't have boundaries.

Brad Crowell  

Well, you don't have boundaries. And that's but here's a, here's a really clear example. And this is what she did. And I thought it was really inspiring. She said, there are two types of availability that she sets for her business. One is business availability and the other is actual availability. Right. So there's the differentiate, differentiating between the hours for business and the hours for availability. She said, when I'm working on my business, I'm generally uninterrupted and no one can get in touch with me that's on purpose, when I'm available, when when I'm making myself available, that means I'm available for my team to talk to me, and I'm available for my clients. Right. And she actually said, what I do is I put in my my signature of all my emails, when I'm available to be contacted, and when I will be contacting them. Right. So whether that whatever that is, my availability is between 8 and 12. Let's just say, right, and so for four hours a day, oh, wow, interesting. Because the other half of the day, she's working on her business, and she's uninterrupted and unavailable. And what I thought was amazing, was, she's such a teacher. But she, she said, I created a, I created boundaries with my team, with my family, including my kids, and also with myself. And so with the team. That's the business availability versus the, you know, working availability. Then with the end, the clients fit right into that with the family. She said, when my, she said she had a special phone, that would phone sound that would ring during certain hours of the day. And she trained her kids, this is amazing. She said, I had a magnet board and on the wall, and they had activities on them. And when my phone would ring, my kids would run over to the wall and grab an activity off the board and go entertain themselves so that I could trust that they were being safe and okay, but also I was uninterrupted for my client phone calls. (Lesley: Yeah.) How cool is that?

Lesley Logan  

Oh, I mean, come on. Like, it's amazing. And for the Mama's listening, and like, please steal that from her because, (Brad: Yeah) because you're like, I just I can't I can't be on a phone call. They need me. Well, if they're an infant, probably, but if they are at all able to play with anything safely, you can allow them to go like this is when you get to play with this. And kids like boundaries. They really do. They really like they like to know what's allowed and went and they like to play with that. So I just think everyone's thriving. When you have boundaries. Everyone is.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, yeah. I mean, and she talks about that too. With what you both did, because you know, you work with your spouse's, hi I'm Brad. The the she said the key the secret to a happy marriage is communication. And then you have this whole conversation about communication, which ultimately led ultimately led back to boundaries.

Lesley Logan  

Boundaries. Set the boundaries. So y'all, what are your boundaries? We want to hear them. Tag the @be_it_pod with your takeaways, tag Tanya Dalton. Check out her books, and let us know how it goes. I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell  

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan  

Thank you so much for joining us today. We are so grateful that you're here. I can't even believe it. I'm so so excited for what's going on with podcasts and the guests we're bringing on it's all because of you. So again, share us, share with us how you're gonna use these tips in your life by tagging the @be_it_pod. Send it to a friend, text it to a friend.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, don't just send it to a friend. This specific episode send it to a mom. (Lesley: Oh) You don't have to be a business owner. (Lesley: No) Because she talked about and I know we've we're signing off but she talked about how homes, you the home is effectively a nonprofit business. (Lesley: Yeah.) Okay. So if you don't see yourself as a business owner, but you have a family, probably you're you're you're setting a operational plans of how you execute wife.

Lesley Logan  

Let me just tell you that this gets us into a whole thing about how I think moms should be paid because they do keep the allow for the other person in the household who is working to have a job where they can go be uninterrupted and the household is fine. (Brad: Yeah) That's a different topic for a different day. And I'm just gonna say I love that we're changing this up because it's like ... It's like at the end of the movie like, "Should I wait for the end of the credits?" Like you should be on the whole time till the very end.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. (Lesley: So ...) If there's one thing that you if you if you want to help us out, you share this podcast, (Lesley: Yeah) this podcast. Send it to another mom.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Thank you so much.

Brad Crowell  

Have an amazing day.

Lesley Logan  

Be It Till You See It is a production of Bloom Podcast Network. 

Brad Crowell  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan. And me Brad Crowell. Our associate producer is Amanda Frattarelli. 

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing. 

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi. 

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Mesh Herico for creating all of our visuals, (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week, so you can.

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each episode, so you can find it on our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Want to know the secret to a healthy marriage, work or personal? Need some help defining your “hours of business”, and creating boundaries that allow you to enjoy all the space in them? Listen in to this Boundless with Tanya Dalton to begin creating practices that support your dream life and to stop saying “must be nice for them.”

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Why best lessons are learned the hard way 
• Getting caught up in creating the future you want 
• How to follow your past breadcrumbs to recognize how far you have come. 
• The importance of setting boundaries; with your kids, clients, customers, and yourself.
• The ​​difference between working hours and hours of availability 
• How to work well with your business partner 
• Your home is a business 

Episode References/Links:

• The Joy of Missing Out
• On Purpose
• The Intentional Advantage Podcast
•  inkWELL Press Productivity Co

Guest Bio:

Tanya Dalton is a best-selling author, transformational speaker, and nationally recognized productivity expert. She helps female executives and entrepreneurs step into purposeful leadership.

In addition to having her first book, The Joy of Missing Out, being named one of the Top 10 Business Books of the year by Fortune Magazine, Tanya’s podcast, The Intentional Advantage has received millions of downloads from listeners around the world. She is also a featured expert on several networks including NBC and Fox and is a VIP contributor for Entrepreneur.com. Tanya has been featured in some of the world’s leading publications including Forbes, Inc, Fast Company, and Real Simple. She has been awarded the elite Enterprising Women Award and has been named the Female Entrepreneur to Watch for the state of North Carolina.

Tanya is also the founder of inkWELL Press Productivity Co. a multi-million dollar company providing tools that work as a catalyst in helping women do less while achieving maximum success.

Her highly anticipated second book, On Purpose: The Busy Woman’s Guide to an Extraordinary Life of Meaning and Success, launched last fall through HarperCollins Publishing.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Hey, Be It babe. How are you? So here's this cool thing. Many, many moons ago, years ago, I was driving in LA and traffic trying to go from like one thing to the thing that I was trying to make the thing. And I heard this woman on podcast. And I was listening to what she was saying, I was listening when her book was about and it's like, "Oh, my God, I, I need this." So I downloaded her book on one of the audio versions. And I listened to it, and I really loved what it was. And then I kept going with my life and implementing some of the things I heard on a pod and ... and some things from that book. And, and today, I'm interviewing that woman. So Tanya Dalton is our guest, I'm so excited for you to hear her because she is on fire for you, like really, truly wanting to make sure that women like you have what you want to have in this place. And it can be so easy to look at what she does in his world, or even what I do, or what other women in your life do and go, oh, must be nice. We talked about that, talked about that with a asteric. And we or must be like you think like, oh, I just they can do it but I can't. When you think like, well, they can have all the things and I can't or who am I to do these things. And she and I just really want you to know that you can do those things. Yes, you can. And it requires some work. And it's not going to be easy. And what I can't wait for to hear is how that is all possible. And there's some work involved. But with that work, creates endless possibilities for you and what you want to do here. And so I'm going to let you listen to Tanya and her amazing words, right here right now. And I cannot wait for you to tell us what takeaways you had. So, aside from leaving us a review, thank you for doing that. I'd love for you to share this podcast with friends, tag us on Instagram, TikTok, any of the places that you loved hanging on social and make sure that your friends hear it because the more people that are hearing these words that you're hearing about the things you want to change the people around you will do it too and then becomes so much easier for you to implement the things that you want to take away from it because it's hard to sounds strange. It's hard to be alone and be like the only person doing it but if everyone around you sort of is it makes it a lot easier. Right? So let's change everyone together. Alright, here's Tanya Dalton. And I can't wait to hear you're takeaways. 

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

All right. Be It listeners, I'm really thrilled. This is, this today's guest is someone I actually heard on someone else's podcast way many years before I ever thought I'd ever have a podcast and I read her book. And I am just so excited to have Tanya Dalton here. Tanya, can you tell everyone who you are, what you write about, how they can, what you're talking about these days?

Tanya Dalton  

Absolutely. Well, I like to say that I am redefining productivity for women. So they really understand. It's not about doing more. It's doing what's most important. So I do that through several different ways. First of all, I'm a wife. I'm a mom. I'm a business owner. I'm a podcaster. I'm an author. So I get it when women feel like, "Oh my gosh, I'm so busy. How do you get things done?" Right? You and I were kind of chatting at the beginning about how do you get it all done. And the secret is you don't. Right. So that's, that's a lot about what I talk about what I what I really love to have women understand is that, really when we prioritize, and we make choices in our lives about what we want to do, we can pour ourselves so fully into it. So that is what I write about in my books. I have two books, The Joy of Missing Out, as well as On Purpose. I have a podcast, The Intentional Advantage, which you can listen too right here or whatever podcast platform, you're listening to this right now. And I have inkWELL Press Productivity Co. I'm the founder of that multimillion dollar company as well. So several things on my plate, which is why I love speaking to people about it, because it's like, listen, if I can do these things, you could do these things.

Lesley Logan  

Well, (Tanya: Yeah.) yes. And I, first of all, like, I love how many plates you've got, and I love everything that's on your plates. I have so many, I have so many things I want to go down the road. But what started this process of you focusing on like the joy of missing out. What what was, were you always someone who was like it was easy for you to prioritize what was important, or did you have a have to learn that the hard way?

Tanya Dalton  

Well, I think our best lessons are learned the hard way to be honest with you, which is kind of a bitter pill to swallow, but it's true. You know, I started my first business back in 2008. So gosh, that feels like forever ago at this point, right? 2008. And I was just supposed to be a small business, a side business, something I did on the side, I was really a stay at home mom. My husband was doing, well he was doing marketing for Fortune 500 companies. And so he would leave our home in Dallas, Texas, and he buy a ticket called the around the world ticket, he would circle the globe and come back the other side. And I was like I need to have something I'm doing other than mothering. But it's like I need something else. So I started a business and I was like, "Oh, yeah, it'd be this thing that I do on the side." I started it with $50. That was my investment. So don't have a website, just selling to friends, maybe friends of friends. And I had this call with my husband who was on the other side of the planet. And he called me and it was end of my day, beginning of his day. And I was telling him all the things that the kids were doing and all the things that were happening. And he got really, really, really quiet. And I was like, "Are you okay?" And he said, "I'm missing everything. I'm missing all the moments with the kids. I'm missing watching them grow." And I was like, "No, no, no, it's okay." But I could tell that really hold on him. And that really bothered him. He loved doing the marketing, but he didn't love being away. And so I hung up the phone that evening, in my bright yellow kitchen, I stood there and I made a big bold decision, I decided I was going to grow that tiny little side hobby business of mine, big enough to absorb his MBA income, which was a pretty bold decision to make in my bight yellow kitchen with two kids, right? Who are literally playing at my feet. And I had zero business experience. I had never even taken a course in college on business. But I sat down that night, I mapped it out, I started making plans, I created systems, because here I am, I'm a stay at home mom. So I have two small kids take care of, a husband who's gone for three or four weeks at a time. And I wanted to grow this business. So I knew I needed to be really proactive with all of this. And within about a year I was able to make that goal happen. I was able to hit six figures, I was able to absorb his MBA income. And that was amazing. But ...

Lesley Logan  

That's amazing.

Tanya Dalton  

Thank you. Well, I mean, I think this is the thing it is really when you start honing in on the things that matter most but there were, there were really moments in there within that first couple of years where I was trying to do all the things and I was wearing myself out. And I was frustrated. And I was irritated. And I was not the best person. Not the the wife, mom, person, friend, aunt that I wanted to be or any of those things, right? And so I had moments where I would feel like what is this all for? Why am I doing this? And it was really that realization that I wasn't gifting myself the time to really grow, which then doesn't allow my business to grow with just which doesn't allow my family to grow all of those things that I really needed to make a shift. And in about 2013 at that point, John was working for me. He's been working for me since 2009 ...

Lesley Logan  

And I was gonna say you had to like how did you? I'm like, I'm hoping you mark like took him into the business because if he does have this MBA, you're like we need we do need an operation.

Tanya Dalton  

Oh, totally, yes. Why don't you come on board and work alongside of me? Yeah. So he's been working for me since 2009. I like to say we sit across the desk from each other. We are like together 26 hours a day, we're always together. But it works for us. It works for our marriage. We were really happy with it. But in 2013 I looked at him and I said, "I love you. I love working with you but I don't love what I'm doing." You know that business I'd started was a side hobby. Something I was just doing on the side, I wasn't as passionate about, I felt like I was here to make a bigger impact. He was like, "What do you want to do?" And I'm like, "I don't know, I have no idea." Right? What if there is nothing else out there? And so it was taking the time to step back and say, "What am I really passionate about?" When I did that, I realized I'm passionate about helping women. I love working with women. I love teaching, I used to be a teacher, once a teacher, always a teacher, so I knew I wanted to have podcasts and books and things like that. But then I also really love productivity. Because truly when I understood what it meant to be truly productive, that's what flipped the switch on everything. That's when not only did I have a thriving business, but I had a thriving personal life, I was (Lesley: Yeah) able to have both, and I was watching so many other women struggle with it. So that's why I decided to start Ink Well Press.

Lesley Logan  

Okay, okay, this is really cool. So, a couple highlights. One, you had to take a step away to like act because you like when you're in it. And I think that's when the it's almost like, I wish it was another word for burnout, because I felt it was different kinds of levels, and styles of that. But like when you're so in it, and you're like, "I don't really like who I am in this." Right now, you can't go I feel like when people that's when people are trying to figure what that is, it's like you actually can't while you're doing that, you have to take the step out, you got to go for the walk, you got to take the break, you got to leave it all, because otherwise, you're trying to fix a problem while you're in a problem.

Tanya Dalton  

You have to get off the bike to fix the bike, you can't stay on like and fix the flat tire and fixed, right? Like you have to get off of the bike and give yourself that space. The people don't feel like they can give themselves that. But if you don't, you're staying on a broken bike. (Lesley: Yeah) Right. (Lesley: Yeah) And you're just doing the same things over and over again. So it's not a matter of that being a luxury of giving yourself that time. It's a necessity, we need to do that for ourselves from time to time.

Lesley Logan  

I know and but everyone thinks is a luxury, they think if they they will look at your business ago, it must be nice for her. (Tanya: Oh yeah) I really, (Tanya: It must be nice.) I fucking hate that. I had a I had a woman who wrote a book about talking about mental health in the workplace. And she said, if someone at work is going, oh, it must be nice that you could go on a run on your lunch break. You have to say, it is great that I can do that. And I wish that you could take time for yourself too. Like you have to like literally highlight that they're what they're resenting that they're not doing, and how can we help people do that? So and yes, I that's a great analogy for my visual listeners, like can't fix the bike while you're on it. But but don't you find that some people are just so afraid of what that bike could go with was fixed? Like I think people's fear of where the bike could go when it's fixed is what keeps them on the broken bike.

Tanya Dalton  

We get really overwhelmed by the idea of what if, right? Oh, I won't know what I'm doing. And so sometimes, there's a lot of times there's two issues, either you don't have a vision, and you don't know what that looks like, which is okay. That's one of the things I really dive into in my last book, like, how do you figure that out? Or the vision vision is so big, it's daunting, and it's scary, like, who am I to do these things, right? And the truth is, it's like, it's like the idea of where you are now. And the where the place you want to go is far apart. Like there's this giant chasm like the Grand Canyon between them, right? And where you are now it feels impossible to get to that place you want to get to. And you think, oh gosh, I've got to like build a jetpack to zoom across that giant chasm, right. And we'll spend years like trying to figure out how we're going to do that over perfecting all of that trying to build a jetpack, when in truth, if we put one foot in front of the other tiny little itty bitty steps, one after the next we would make it down the walls of the Grand Canyon, cross the Grand Canyon, and you can go back up the other side in one day, (Lesley: Yeah) you can't do that in the Grand Canyon. Right? So along those steps, each one of those steps, we're learning things, we're evolving, we're growing, we're changing. We have I like to say we have a backpack on our back. And we're gathering together the experience, the traumas, the failures, the lessons, all of those things in our backpack. So when we get to that bright, beautiful future, we have everything we need. We've been gathering along the way. It's messy in that backpack ... don't even lie. But we've been gathering all along. So don't get caught up in the big vision, get caught up in today. Right? That's what I want you to do is get caught up in today and investing in today with that beautiful future looks like.

Lesley Logan  

 Oh my God, I love that so much. I love that you ... We tend to take messy action like that's like just like taking them because I do say perfect is boring all the time. But I have to remind myself that is because it just it just is no one's to hear how perfect your backpack is packed. They don't (Tanya: No, so boring.) like they just want to share how the journey was.

Tanya Dalton  

Nobody wants to talk to you at the party if you have all your shit together, right? Let's be honest. Because then they just walk away. They're like, "Well, I'm the worst." Right. (Lesley: Yeah) And here's the truth, we love the story of the underdog, we love watching movies, where someone's had it hard or they've gone through this thing, and then they overcome it. And yet we don't see the value in our own stories, we don't see that we're the underdog sometimes. And we have this beautiful arc in our story as well, when we come out the other side, and it's just as beautiful as seeing it in the movies. (Lesley: Yeah) Because we get to live it. It's just it's hard in the messy middle, it is difficult. And it feels frustrating, because we just want rainbows and unicorns, right. And that's not how the world works.

Lesley Logan  

I know all of us with ... born in Lisa Frank era, we just want rainbows and unicorns, but my parents couldn't afford that. So I have to, I have to, just the plain, just the plain folders. But you said the messy middle and that's something. I haven't actually finished that book, whose name is escaping me. But it's on like my like, end table by the couch. And whenever I like I'm in it. I'm like, "Oh, we're just in the middle of right now." We're just in the middle. And luckily, when you're in the middle, it goes up and down. And up and down a week where we have an upcoming, there's an upcoming. (Tanya: Yeah. Always an upcoming. Yeah.)

Tanya Dalton  

I think this is why honestly to when we get to when we get to a point and this happens for everybody where it feels like there's no upcoming like, it's just I'm in these trenches. And it's terrible. And it's hard. Going back and doing a little exercise of mapping out your own life map. And you look at the highs and the lows of your life. And you map it out like a graph, you will see highs and lows, and then highs and then lows. Our life is a cycle of these highs and lows, it's not going to constantly be high. It's not constantly going to be low. But when you do that for yourself, you can really start to see, Oh, I did recover from that. Gosh, I remember in that moment how it felt like I was never going to get out of that. And yet somehow I did. And here's a high that came after that. Right? So (Lesley: Yeah) really looking, looking at what I call your breadcrumbs. See where you've been. It's, it's like when you're on a hike, right? And you get to a point on a hike where you're like, I can't I can't go any further. Like, my legs are tired, I'm tired. And then you stop. And you look back at where you've been. And you think, "Oh my gosh, look how far I've come." And then suddenly you get that second wind and you think to yourself, I can keep going. I can do this. We have to do that in life, just like we have to on a hike or anything else we have to stop. And this again is a stepping back, right? Getting off the bike, taking a look and saying, "Wow, I have come so far. I can keep doing this." That's where a lot of that self motivation comes from that self trust.

Lesley Logan  

I love... Yes. And I we talk a lot in my in my group where I coach people, it's like, it's Fuck Yeah Friday on Fridays, it's you can make it any other day. But on Fridays at nine minimum, you must celebrate what you did do. Because if you don't you don't have the breadcrumbs of proof that you've had a high at any point in this week. At any point, you know, (Tanya: That's true.) and it really does give you sometimes that breath at the top of a hill were like, "Oh, oh, look what I didn't do something. I guess I hit the bottom. But I did do something this week."

Tanya Dalton  

Yeah. Yeah. In my business, we do what I call a high five Fridays. And so my customer happiness team. They gather together the like the nice comments, or the you know, emails and the notes that we've gotten, and we send that office wide, everybody in the office gets it as a chance to celebrate on Friday. It's the last email that you look at on Friday. It gives you a nice high going into the weekend. Because truly, we forget the good that we've done. We discount it all we do is think about all the things that didn't go right.

Lesley Logan  

That's cool. That's also more appropriate for work. high five Friday, my team was willing to produce this if you want to change the fuck yeah, Friday to high five Friday. But you know ...

Tanya Dalton  

 Fuck Yeah Friday is nice. I like the alliteration and the and the words. So ...

Lesley Logan  

I know, I know. So we have we use a couple we have a project managed we use and then we actually most people that engage with our company different ways it's in Slack. And so we have a girl who does our Amazon for our flashcards, because, again, how do we do everything we don't someone else who's an expert at Amazon does Amazon. So she really only can see one channel, technically, but we let everybody in on the wins. And she said to my husband, she's like, you know, I'm in a lot of people Slack groups and your company is the only one that I actually go and look at the company's wins because you have them and you share them and everyone's celebrating all these things. And it's like, she actually enjoys participating in our product because of our culture of celebrating. And you know, I do it there I do it in my groups because it's it can be so hard if you're listening like oh, it's so it's so hard to do that for yourself. But if you can like the literally make it part of the routine of your job, that becomes a little bit easier to do that and as a because we don't do anything differently, kind of on the same person. So if I start to do that as a habit at work work, then it becomes really easy during the week to go, "Oh, look what I did there like, Oh, I'm gonna celebrate that right now."

Tanya Dalton  

Well, I think this is the thing too. I think if we really think about it, and what celebration means a celebration usually is bringing others in, right? So even if we're celebrating ourselves, we get that high and we feel really good. Don't you think that bleeds into the other areas of your life? If you're feeling really good, because you've celebrated yourself, aren't you a better mom to your kids, I know I am. I'm much more patient, I'm much more calm, right? There's less of the mom, I don't want to be, I'm the better I'm a better wife, I'm a better daughter to my parents, I'm better in every way shape and form because I've taken care of myself. And that in in the scientific terms is actually called the halo effect. When we do things that are good for ourselves. The people around us also get the benefits, whether it's eating healthy, or taking care of our body or celebrating our wins, that ends up creating this beautiful domino effect where the others around us start doing that as well. You know, we hear about where the average of the five people we hang around, people are hanging around you, bring that average up by celebrating yourself, by thinking about all the good that you've done, that allows everybody else around you to rise up as well.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, I love when science backs up like. And ... (Tanya: I know. Me too.) self development. I love it. So I wonder ... Okay, I love that. You mentioned that about the halo effect. And also you brought it back to being a mom, I think that's so important because I don't have kids. So I understand that when when I say a lot of things are like, well, it must be easy for you and have kids, I have three four legged children and they are demanding.

Tanya Dalton  

We always say it must be nice for other people, because there's some asterik that makes them a special snowflake. Must be nice for you because you don't have kids. Must be nice for you because your business is successful. Must be nice for you. Right? We all have a 'must be nice for you.' (Lesley: Yeah) Let's stop making, let's stop pretending like it's always an exception when something is going well, right? (Lesley: Yeah.) ... Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Thank you. And to all of you listening, let's wait, you can all start that we can actually make that a thing. We can, it can be trending. I wonder when you if you can remember back in 2008, when you started your business, and you're like, I'm going to, I'm going to make enough to like take over my husband's income. So you can come into this business. How did that work with like setting up boundaries and still being able to be there? Was there, was that easy? Was it, was there adjustments you had to make? What did you have? Is there anything like hard conversation to say with people? How that look?

Tanya Dalton  

Let's be honest, if I said it was really easy to set boundaries, somebody to go, must be nice. (Lesley and Tanya laughs) It was not easy. Setting boundaries is not easy. But it's so important. For me, it was really about really differentiating between my hours of business and my hours of availability. That was one of the first things that I did that I think most business owners, especially if you're working out of your home, they don't do. We think I'm working. So therefore I must be on. Right. Hours of business, or when you're working on your business. That could be at 11 o'clock at night, if you're a night owl, it could be four in the morning, if you're an early riser, could be you know, during your kids nap, hours of availability is when you're available for customers or clients or responding. Right. Really setting those boundaries early, I think and communicating them is so vastly important. Because the problem is, you're working at 11 o'clock at night, because you know, you haven't been able to work because the kids have been up and doing all these things, right. And so you're answering client emails at 11 o'clock at night, because that's when it works for you. Well, I would say go ahead and you can schedule those. Every email program has a way to schedule your email system that later scheduling during your hours of availability. What happens is you send out an email 11 o'clock at night, and a couple days later client reaches out at 10:45 happens to be a night that you actually got to bed early, and then they're irritated. You have not responded right away, right. But you have set that boundary that I'm here at 11 o'clock at night working. So really be intentional about when you're working, and you're available. And when you're working and you're unavailable. So for me, especially when I was first starting out so I had you know two small kids, husband was traveling, all of those things. I would sit down on Sundays and I would say, "Here's the hours I'm working this week." And I would make that decision and I would create those containers of time. Now, those first couple of years of business, my biggest days of working were on Mother's Day out and preschool days. Right. The other days of the week were not heavy workdays it was like, for a while it was just Tuesday, Thursday. And then we moved to like Monday, Wednesday, Friday kind of a thing. So I knew that on those days where I was giving myself those work containers I was focusing in on work, right? But I also knew that I wanted to communicate to my customers and my clients. And I think you do this in every avenue in your email footer, in your contracts. If you're a person who does contracts, like you're an event planner or you know, something like that. In your voicemail, all of those places I would put, here's the hours I'm available, so they clearly knew when I would be responding to emails and I set up my phone using Google voice so that it had a very different ringtone. So it would come to me and it would have a different ringtone. I could set the business hours, so it didn't ring after business. (Lesley: Yeah.) I also taught my kids what that ringtone sounded like. And they knew what to do when we heard that ringtone, I had a little chart on the wall, I used to be a teacher , keep in mind, I had a little chart on the wall with pictures, they would hear that ringtone and they would run over and they would pick an activity off of there. And they would go do that. So they weren't bothering me during my phone call. Now, they didn't do that naturally. I mean, I didn't have like trained chimpanzees for children. We practiced it, right? (Lesley: Yeah) We wouldn't I would pretend like the phone ring, I put on the ringtone, I'd be like, "Okay, what do we do? What do we do?" And they would run over and we would we'd make into this big game. And we would practice it. Just like as a teacher, we would practice for the fire drill. That's why they line up nice and quietly, even though they're like, you know 3 years old, you're able to do that because you practice it. So I set those boundaries with my kids, I set those boundaries with my clients and my customers, I set those boundaries with myself. And that was hugely freeing. It really was.

Lesley Logan  

Okay. There's, y'all I hope you wrote down those different things. Brad and I talk about all the time, we're like, with our people, we coach, like your clients don't need to have your personal phone number, Google voice, it's free. (Tanya: No) We use it too. (Tanya: Oh my gosh.) It's so great.

Tanya Dalton  

First time you get a phone call on Saturday morning at like seven o'clock, that's when you're like, "Okay, this is not working."

Lesley Logan  

And what I love though, is that for people who have a debt obliger tendency where they need a little bit more accountability by you putting in your hours availability, in your voicemail, in your email and any of these places. It actually holds you accountable to that so that you can't bleed out by being a people pleaser or by by not having that account, because you put it in place that makes it really easy. And you set the stage I think you're correct boundaries are so hard. And sometimes you don't know you need a boundary until it's been crossed. And you're like, "Oh, okay, I don't like that. So I'm going to create a boundary there." But ... (Tanya: Now I know.) Now I know. Noted. But like, if we don't, you know, if we don't put them in place, and actually put things in place to keep them there. Then we just become resentful of people. And they don't know why we're mad at them. They don't know why we're being crossed. Like they don't they they're not mind readers.

Tanya Dalton  

We get so irritated. Right? Can you believe that client called, but hey, we didn't correct them. We didn't we didn't tell them this is when our boundaries, you know, were. I like to there's a in the joy of missing out, I give this example. And it's an old example that has been around for a long time. But I think it's so poignant and helpful for people to understand why we need boundaries. If you were to imagine a school that's next to a busy road, there's no fence, the teachers are going to let the kids go out for recess, but they're gonna say like, stay close, right, because we don't want to run out to the road. So the kids have to play close to the school and where the teachers can keep an eye on them. But if there is a school next to a busy road, and they put up a fence, same school, put up a fence around it, the kids can go to all the corners of the field, they can go play kickball over here and play hide and go seek over there. And they can take advantage of the full field. And that's what boundaries do. It allows us to have this container that we can explore and we can play. And we can really enjoy ourselves fully. Because we have that container, because we have that boundary. And then we can go inside and do the next thing. Right. And that's what I love about boundaries is when we have them in place, when we have good healthy boundaries. It feels so good. It really does.

Lesley Logan  

And you just said it like in that example, because I'm picking up this picture in it. It's like, there isn't someone who's like, going, no one is like, "Oh, am I too far?" So you've got some people who (Tanya: No) don't even go they don't even leave the school because they don't really know the boundary is. And then they're not engaging and they're not playing. They're not resting. So that's going to affect them. And their next thing, you got some people who are like toeing the line.

Tanya Dalton  

Right. Toeing the line next to the busy road. (Tanya: Yeah) ... right.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, we're just like driving the teacher crazy. And so and then it's so the no one really knows how to play and no one's actually fully expressing themselves. And I love that because a boundary allows people to fully express themselves within those containers. And it allows you the person who has the boundary to also do that, that's so good. You're, It's clear you're a teacher. So, okay, um, you work with your husband, me as well, I actually don't sit across from him, I left the office and made a new office and I was like you talk on the phone to much. But um, for people who are listening, you know, and then and I know, working with your husband can be a little bit different than if you have a business partner that you're not married to. But what were what were some of the things that you had to kind of you out you to how to negotiate so that you could work together and then also live life together because it can be so (Tanya: Yeah) easy for that boundary to be crossed.

Tanya Dalton  

It really can. Well, I think this is true in any if you have a relation. Let's be honest. Anybody who's your business partner you're going to have a relationship with and it's not going to be just a light and easy relationship. You're going to know each other's personal crap. You're going to know what's going on behind the scenes. You're gonna know all those things. We got this question so much, we actually did a podcast episode the two of us together talking about it, I think, honestly. And so at this point, John and I have been married 22 years, I think the secret to a happy marriage, whether that marriage is husband and wife or business partners, or you know what I mean, friends who (Lesley: Yeah) are business partners, it's, it's another form of marriage, it really is. The biggest secret is communication. And really understanding who the other person is, and respecting that, knowing who they are, and knowing that they're different than you and still respecting that, and clearly having that communication. So there are times where I, first of all, I love what I do, like, it makes me so happy. I could talk about it all day long. And John will look at me sometimes and he'll be like, "Honey, no, we are not talking about work right now. I can, I cannot think about it." And I have to first of all respect that he doesn't want to talk about it. And that's okay. And he has to respect me enough to communicate it to me, I don't want to do this. So he's setting a boundary there. I think also really being very clear about what our responsibilities are. I think, especially as people are starting off their businesses, they don't really think about kind of the roles and responsibilities of each person and each job. So really clearly delineating, like, this is your wheelhouse, you're the manager of these things. I call them drivers and doers. Right. Doers are the people who are like doing the things. And the drivers are the ones who are managing some tasks. He's the driver, and I'm just one of the doers. Other things, I'm the driver, and he maybe is a doer or somebody else on the team is a doer. So knowing who's in charge of the different areas, that also helps, because that alleviates any stepping of toes, right? Because (Lesley: Yeah) that can really easily happen.

Lesley Logan  

Well, and that's like I love that you pointed out because everything anytime you're in a relationship with some where there's a some sort of project that you're married with kids and a household, or you are doing business together. And thank you for bringing that up. Because I have a lot of people want to partner up. I'm like, have you actually like, thought about what that means to be married to that person for a long time? Did you date long enough? Like just make sure cause (Tanya: Yeah) everything is messy. (Tanya: We are now in bed together.) Yeah (Tanya: That's how it works.) But I think um, so I love that. And also it is that communication king is so key, but also knowing the roles. And recently not, it's actually been many years now. But because I started all the companies, I was like, automatic CEO, and it was so weird, (Tanya: Right) honestly, you know, like, what does that what does that even mean? Like, and I was trying to be the CEO, and I hated it. Because what are CEOs do lots of meetings, they're on a lot of meetings, and they're managing a lot of doers to use your example. And so we met with this woman. She, she, she was on the podcast early on, and she was like, having us do this little triangle. Like, where do you like to live on this triangle of like, the ideas person like creativity, or the entrepreneur or the opposite person, and I was like, ideas, and I can be an entrepreneur, like, naturally, right? (Tanya: Right) And, and my husband, who was doing ops, he was like, the COO. He's like, I'm the operations like entrepreneur side, and I'm like, "Oh, my God, we get to switch roles." So you're just gonna switch roles. So now I am the Chief Visionary Officer, I get to do all the ideas. He gets to do that. And once you know, whose roles what, it really does make life easier. And that goes in your household with like, who's in charge of what around here versus like, maybe even with your girlfriends, like and you want to do a vacation together, knowing who is in charge of what there, it just makes it easier. No one feels like are they doing it? And there's a lack of communication around something that's not clear.

Tanya Dalton  

So essentially, what we're saying is boundaries. (Lesley: Yeah.) Right. That's, essentially, that's what the roles or responsibilities do is it tells us our boundaries of where we're playing and where we don't play. (Lesley: Yeah) Right. And I love that because truly, we all have strengths, and we all weaknesses, we can stop pretending like we don't have weaknesses, because we all have them, right? Let's play to the strengths. Let's play to the weaknesses. If you don't want to be doing the operation side of things, stop doing it, right, bring in the right person to do those things. Shift roles, it doesn't mean anything's wrong with you, because you don't want to be the CEO. And in my family with John and I, he's like, "No, you are totally the CEO." I love being he's the marketing guy, like, marketing likes do the finance. And so it's like, fabulous, right? He's like, I have no desire for that. So there's not this like push and pull or play for for power, because we both know our lanes, and we stay in them. Right. (Lesley: Yeah) And that makes it all so much easier. And I think you're right. I think this holds true. I mean, you kind of touched on this idea of like, even at home to this matters. I like to tell people your home is a business. A lot of times we think about productivity like in our workspaces, your home is a nonprofit, you know, you're not doing something for profit. A lot of times what you're doing is you're you're exuding your values or you're instilling them in your children. And the profit of what you're creating is what you put out into the world, in your personal life. So running a lot of your home tasks just like you would if you were a business, like, we have meetings for my team at work. But we also have meetings for my team at home. We have team meetings with our kids, where we plan out and we talk about what's happening for the week. One of the things I like to say is, we can bring home the bacon, we can fry it up in a pan, but if the kitchen is burning down around us, it does us no good. We need a good happy, stable home life that feels amazing. So when we go to work, we can dive fully 100% into our work, and we want work to run well. So then we go home, we can dive fully 100% into our relationships with other people, our relationship with ourselves, and really enjoy the things outside of who we are during work hours.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, oh my gosh, I could keep talking to you because I really love everything you're saying. And I like there's a lot of like, just things that are very similar in our work lives and everything. And I just thank you for having an honest conversation about all the different ways boundaries really, truly make life so much easier. And allow us to do more things on this on this planet, because everyone listening here has something that they bring to this world and the people around them. And if they don't have boundaries, and they can't do that, we're gonna take a quick break and find out where people can find you, follow you listen to your podcast.

Alright, Tanya, where you mentioned the beginning, but just in case someone missed it, what's the name of your podcast? Where can people buy your books and work more with you?

Tanya Dalton  

Yeah, so the name of my podcast is The Intentional Advantage. So you can as soon as this is over, you can do a search for my name Tanya Dalton, or The intentional Advantage right here where you're listening to this and give that a follow. I think we're on like episode 270 something at this point. So there's a whole library you can pull from there. As well as new ones coming out all the time. My books are available anywhere books are sold, The Joy of Missing Out is my first book and then On Purpose: The Busy Woman's Guide to an Extraordinary Life of Meaning and Success. Where you can find links to those my podcast here about me speaking all the different things that I do at my website, which is tanyadalton.com. So t a n y a d a l t o n.com.

Lesley Logan  

Amazing. We will put all those links in the show notes, everyone. Okay, before I let you go, BE IT action items. So bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be until they see it. What do you have for us?

Tanya Dalton  

Yeah, so I would say first of all, we have a lot of talk about boundaries. So if you have boundaries in place, maybe doing a quick check on those. How am I doing with those? Do I like what they are? Am I communicating them? And if you're not, maybe step back and figure out where can I start communicating these, right? Start doing that. And then if you're if you haven't set boundaries, this is a great opportunity to do that. I would give yourself you only need maybe 10 15 minutes to really do it. So I would challenge you to do that today. And here's the truth. If we can't gift ourself 15 minutes today, who we gifting it to, right? What do we what are we giving our time away to. Really think about who it is you want to be? I want to encourage you to really think bigger than today. When you set your boundaries for today, it's going to bear so much fruit in the future because it's going to free up your space and your time. And your your mind honestly, because it allows you to play and explore just like those kids on the playground.

Lesley Logan  

That is, I mean that is an essential step for everyone to take. And that's something you can even maybe set in place as like a thing you do quarterly or maybe you do it around your New Year's time. Like it's not a resolution. It's like just like a retrospection on how did things go with my boundaries? (Tanya: Yeah) And so I want to take for the next year so I can have all these things. Tanya, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for sharing all of your wisdom and your and your words with us. I'm so grateful. Everyone, how are you going to use these tips in your life? Make sure you tag Tanya Dalton and tag to @be_it_pod. Share this to a friend maybe if you're struggling with boundaries, share it with all of your friends who struggle boundaries, and you guys can together support each other in those ways. I'm so grateful for all of you and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing. 

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi. 

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can. 

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Your “someday” trip can happen. All it takes is the decision to start. Listen in to today's episode about traveling to escape into your life, broaden your perspectives, and interact with society in a way outside your comfort zone. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Quit saying someday. Begin to think through your dream
• Question what's the first step to making the trip happen? 
• How travel can be an escape into your life, not from it. 
• How to make a habit of travel accessible 
• Skip the commercial travel industry 
• The value in taking an interest in people 
• Why travel is more than just a vacation
• Give yourself permission for your trip to change.

Episode References/Links:

• Rolf Potts website
• Retreat updates

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Brad Crowell  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the nomadic convo I had with Rolf Potts in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that episode, go feel, go, go feel free. You should feel free (Brad: Feel go for free.) You should feel like you could go freely to listen to that episode. And then come back and join us for this one. All I know is that Brad listen to it and he's like, "I think Rolf and I should be friends. (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. Yeah. Rolf and I obviously traveled similarly. And, and I loved it. I was like, "I can't wait to read his book." Now, I'm not gonna lie.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, you should we have it.

Brad Crowell  

I know. I saw it on the counter.

Lesley Logan  

You can, you can read it. You can read a page a day. You don't have to read the whole thing.

Brad Crowell  

Oh, no, I want to read his first book. (Lesley: Oh) I want to read his like original, this one's called The Vagabond's Way. (Lesley: The ... Yeah, yeah.) The new one is The Vagabond's Way and that's like 366 quotes and advice and stuff like that. No, I'm interested in reading the first one he published about his like stories through Myanmar and stuff like that.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, well, you should get that before we go on ... I mean, everyone you're listeners to this after we've come back from a trip but Brad you should get it before we leave you. (Brad: Yeah.) ... before we go, which speaking of we in real time, literally just got back, by the time you listen to this and your real time of ... (Brad: Yeah) listening to this episode. Well, I've just got back from Cambodia, (Brad: Yeah) and you can get yourself on the waitlist for the next one because I you've had so much FOMO.

Brad Crowell  

Oh, you don't know, you don't even know this was a, so our retreaters don't even know what we have planned for them. And they have not yet experienced this but by the time you'll you'll be listening to this, they will have experienced an epic waterfall that was dedicated only to the king, only the king and the royal family we're allowed to go there. And now it's open to the public. And it's very much off the beaten path is about an hour and a half outside the city. And this is not something that we usually do but we have an adventurous group with us this time and we (Lesley: Yeah) decided we're going to we're going to throw that into the mix ...

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, well it's also the to get to this particular place in Cambodia, you cannot take a big van, it has to be (Brad: Yes smaller ... ) a smaller car because it is it is like up through the mountains. And then there's also these apple bananas. This is the craziest thing when I saw they were red bananas. (Brad: Yeah.) Anyways, (Brad: They're pretty cool.) you can go you can join us next time.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, this this if you haven't heard us talk about Cambodia before welcome to the podcast. (Lesley: Hi) We talk about it in every single episode.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, yeah, we do we do right now. lesleylogan.co/retreats will get you on the waitlist, we do take limited amount of people and we are only doing one next year. (Brad: Yes) So if you keep going on to the next one ...

Brad Crowell  

t's gonna be the fall of 2023 most likely like September or October so anyway, that's what we're we're looking at. So get yourself on the waitlist, lesleylogan.co/retreats, plural.

Lesley Logan  

And so we are unpacking our bags, just the pack them back up because we're going into a different weather. We're going to Scottsdale Arizona, which you might think is warm, but it's not it's ...

Brad Crowell  

It's the opposite as Cambodia, possibly.

Lesley Logan  

... Cambodia is hot and humid. And we're gonna go to someplace where our skin is gonna shrivel up, and we're gonna chap our lips, and we need a coach. Also, my goal is to do the Grand Canyon, and I just heard from the podcast I just interviewed but y'all will listen to later. But you can like do the Grand Canyon in a day. And I'm wondering if we can do that, wonder if we have the time to do that.

Brad Crowell  

So there's a there's a really interesting Grand Canyon experience that I don't know if we can pull it off. But if we can ...

Lesley Logan  

Is it the Glass Bridge thing? Because I don't know ...

Brad Crowell  

No the Glass Bridge is on the North side.

Lesley Logan  

Okay. I don't know about that one.

Brad Crowell  

Well that's like you know, terrifying ...

Lesley Logan  

The Calgary tower was was terrified. It was like two inches of glass and I was like aahhh.

Brad Crowell  

This is an eight mile hike down into the ... (Lesley: Yeah. I want to do that.) or at the bottom. And then also you can actually stay down there or at least you could pre COVID I don't know if they've opened it back up. But there's like a hotel.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, we don't have time for that. We have time for the hike. So we're gonna do the hike part. And then we'll if we like it, and we like the digs. We can book it in later or for a future adventure. Let's just explore it.

Brad Crowell  

I will see. Well, we will. This is kind of a perfectly applicable conversation for this episode.

Lesley Logan  

I know, I know. But before we get to this episode, super, super quick because people have been asking and we've talked about in previous episodes, we are going on the winter Pilates tour. And you're gonna want to go to onlinepilatesclasses.com to see which cities we're going to ...

Brad Crowell  

Most likely OPC/tour. (Lesley: Yeah.) So onlinepilatesclasses.com/tour. But otherwise, you can just go to the website, you'll find it.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, we'll put a little pop up thingy on there too. But space is limited in every class for variety of reasons. This space we're using, and we are just hitting like a couple cities up Dallas, Houston, Atlanta, Nashville, look at the site for all cities.

Brad Crowell  

Just couple. (Lesley: Just couple.) ... Philly area (Lesley: We're working on that one.) Cleveland, St. Louis ...

Lesley Logan  

Just a few. But I do hope you come on the tour, we'd love to see you in person. We'd love to teach you. And also, because, you know, I know it's the holidays, but everybody wishes they had a little workout and escape and the holidays. (Brad: Yeah) So we're here to provide that for you. Okay (Brad: It's gonna be a blast.) so we had an audience question that I wanted to make sure that we thought to before we dive into Rolf.

Brad Crowell  

Yes. And I put this question into this episode, because because of this conversation with Rolf, and travel and inspiration, and I'm going to modify it. So the question was, why did you first go to Cambodia? And if you've listened this podcast at all, you've definitely heard me talk about my National Geographic experience. In fact, Lesley briefly mentioned it during the interview. But what I wanted to actually talk about instead was the mentality that I had of wanting to go versus finally going. And so when I first you've heard me talk about NatGeo, I was 12, I saw this amazing spread on Cambodia. I said, this is the Jungle Book in real life, I have to go there. And I was 12. But I didn't go to Cambodia until I was in my 30s. Right. And for me, I lived in Boston, and I was a college student I was working, you know, you know, hourly jobs, I was doing all this stuff. And I just the way I perceived, travel the way I perceived, especially Cambodia, it just seemed like I might as well have been trying to go to another planet. And and that's just how I, you know, I was like, I will go there one day, someday, eventually, I'll get there. But I never actually made it a priority. And until when you asked me, Where are we going on our honeymoon, I was like, "Oh, this is it, I finally can do this, we're gonna go do this." And that was when the decision was made to go. And that's when we actually started to plan it. And the thing that was hilarious to me was it was the first time I ever actually looked into going, I always wanted to go, but I never looked into going and when we were looking at our plane tickets, it was cheaper to go to Cambodia than it was to fly to my parents house for fucking Christmas.

Lesley Logan  

I know that really (Brad: I'm like ...) that's what we ... That's like, I'm not flying again.

Brad Crowell  

What the? But that was the crazy thing was I could not believe how accessible that actually was.

Lesley Logan  

Well, I think and we can talk about it, you know, as we get into Rolfs' episode as well. But I too, because I grew up not traveling. And I grew up every single time travel is expensive. And hearing people say we saved up for like we do a trip every other year, whatever. So just saw that travel was hard, travel is expensive, travel is things that people could do on someday. And you said that the word someday, (Brad: Right) that word bent and just need to get out of the English language because it should be I'm going there. (Brad: Yes) I'm going there. (Brad: Yeah.) And when people say when you can say I'm working on that, I'm gonna get back to you. You don't have to like you, can you but I think it's so easy to make someday never. (Brad: Yeah.) And you and you just said it. You didn't even look to see how much it would cost. (Brad: I never actually look into it.) What a great inserted BE IT action item. Just look at (Brad: Great question.) just look at the place that you want to go or the thing you want to do. What if you just looked it up to see what it was? You could actually ...

Brad Crowell  

You know, wrap your head around. (Lesley: Yeah, yeah. ) You know, (Lesley: Yeah) because maybe it isn't accessible tomorrow, but maybe it could be in six months.

Lesley Logan  

Mm hmm. Oh, yeah. I mean, I just, we have a girl we're gonna have on podcast that she's a mutual friend of ours. Her name is Johanna White. And she is wanting to buy a house in like Greece and a couple other places. And she wants to rent the bla bla bla and she asked me like, well, so that's what she asked me. She's like, "How much was like the downpayment you had to have on your house?" And it was a great question for someone who wants to do something someday she's trying to wrap her head around this goal that she has, right? And so truly, if more of us did that, if more of us just like asked the question to get to the first next step of what we wanted. You could have all the things you want. (Brad: Yeah) You can't but if you go someday I'll do this and you don't ever look at how to even have the thing or do the thing that you want to do. It's a never day (Brad: Right) not gonna happen.

Brad Crowell  

Well, I love it. I love that question. I'm so super passionate about travel and I've lots of thoughts and comments on Rolf. So (Lesley: Let's talk about him.) we'll be back in just a sec.

All right, now let's talk about Rolf Potts. As someone who never stays in one place for too long. Rolf Potts is a travel writer who has reported from over 60 countries and for publications like National Geographic and Discovery. He is a proponent of micro adventures, no matter where you are, and uses his curiosity to lead him when he isn't experiencing experiencing a new location. Rolf is probably with his wife at their farmhouse in Kansas.

Lesley Logan  

You know what, I just want to like toot my own horn for a second, I have not had two NatGeo contributors on this podcast. (Brad: Oh, yes.) And what? 152 episodes? That's pretty like, freaking great. Because it's like, what is it less than point 2% of people get picked to do NatGeo? Like what ...

Brad Crowell  

Oh, I can't remember what the stat was what it's like ...

Lesley Logan  

 John Mollura's episode. It was like a very specific (Brad: Right) percentage.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. John the photographer and now we have Rolf the writer.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So one thing that I loved was he said, make travel an active part of your life, not an escape from your life. Ooh, brilliant. Not an escape from your life, but an escape into your life. And his story that he used was when he, during the pandemic to travel, he did a 22 mile walk in his city, like across his town in Kansas. And, and it's so true. When you walk places, you start to see things you don't see when you drive. And they could have been there forever, like, Oh, my God, look at a store. It's like, Yeah, you don't see it when you're driving, because you're trying to hit another car, when you're walking, you get to take time to like, see it all and take it in, you can make it an adventure. And I do think a lot of people go on vacations to get a break from their life, but what they (Brad: Yeah) end up doing is like getting sick. And, and not really the way that they prioritize a trip is an escape from their life. So they're not actually seeing how they can apply any of their trip into their life. You know, like, I that's something I do over there. It's not something I do here.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, I think it's, we have this very, a couple of comments first about the walking across the town, I'll, I'll comment on that in a second. But this idea of the vacation being the moment that you can take a breather, the moment that you can like, Okay, finally I'll be able to rest or whatever. That's not really that's like, that's not necessarily reality trip, you know, like, when you go to a place I know, there's two types of travelers, the person who gets there with an itinerary of 400 things they want to do in a day. And then the person who doesn't want to do a single thing, and they just want to sit in the room or sit on the beach and read a book, right? In the thing, the thing with making it an active part of your life. What he was also getting at with walking across town, is he said, Look, when we were in the pandemic, we weren't allowed to fly, it wasn't an option? We could do that. So how can I keep traveling, even though I'm, I'm right here. And he his curiosity, which we mentioned during his bio, drove him to drove that's ironic to say that word, coincidence to say that word, what I mean is, instead of him driving his life from one town to the next, you said he had his wife decide to walk, he said it took seven hours 22 miles, but along the way, they got to see and experience and like feel this town that they've known forever, in a completely different way. And it was incredibly revealing. He talked about seeing these lovely fields and seeing pastures and you know, sheep and people and like little stands on the side of the road. And suddenly his curiosity was you know, lit on fire again. And he didn't even have to do any crazy travel expenses or anything like that. They just took a day and walked.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, and I I think he said it somewhere in the episode like your your vacation can also start in like planning of it like you can you don't have to like wait till you get to the place be like no, I'm on my trip, you can actually be part of the whole thing can be part of the vacation. So ...

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, we talked about making a habit out of travel and this because this is an example of that. But you're exactly right. Like it could be how can you start practicing? Like when you get to a place and you've like, come up with your itinerary and all the things what if you came up with that itinerary in your hometown and tried a new restaurant locally, and you know, did a new park or a new hike or a new I don't know, like go test drive a car, something that you wouldn't normally do in your hometown. You can start that habit now. And then when you get to where your destination is, then you're there and you're already in the habit of being curious exploring.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I love it. What did you love that he said?

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, okay, so the idea of skipping the commercial travel itinerary. And letting curiosity guide your travel is one of my favorite things, right? There's different, like, there's different, quote unquote, types of travelers and the one that's FIT, Free Independent Traveller, the FIT traveler, is the person who's like, "Don't tell me what to do, I can figure it out on my own." Like, if they can do it, then I can do it. And I, I really embraced that mentality. I said it kind of in a little sarcastic way. But I like the when you go to a place where we're talking about escapism versus experiencing it, I keep thinking about, I don't know, Cancun, when you go to Cancun, you're effectively flying to a casino on the beach. But like, it's perfect, air conditioned, you're completely isolated, they just hand you tequila for four days straight, right, and there's food and there's turtles on the beach, and it's quite lovely and beautiful. But you have no connection at all, to Mexico in that space. You have no connection to Cancun, no connection to the people, you might engage with a taxi driver from the airport to the massive resort that's on the beach. Right? And, you know, look, there is a time and a place. Sometimes that is the trip that is the vacation, but that's definitely not like travel. Right? And and when you instead go to a place with the intention of meeting people and experiencing their food, experiencing their culture, seeing how they live, all of that being revealed to you, man, it is a completely different experience. And you went to the same place.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Well, I think you know, some people that kind of itinerary and those kind of things make an area feel safe. And the irony is, a lot of the stuff that happens to people happens in the tourist area.

Brad Crowell  

Oh, yeah. Well Rolf talks about that, where it's like, where are the pickpockets going to hang out, they're going to hang out with the tourists are, (Lesley: Yeah) they know, (Lesley: They know) they know where you are. But if you walked 10 minutes to the side of where that tourist areas, you probably won't find pickpockets because they're not hanging out there waiting to find you.

Lesley Logan  

Do you remember, we found that really cool. What was the name of that restaurant that we go to? It's it's got the treehouse and the wine, the drink scope and the thing and we actually were in one part of the town. (Brad: Wild) Wild. Yes. So we were, we were in one ... (Brad: This is in Siem Reap.) where this interesting part wasn't WaPo was a neighborhood near WaPo. And, you know, we just gotten like our, you know, a massage and really went to a really sweet restaurant locally, like just they're trying to teach people how to make Cambodian food, it was really sweet place to to eat. And we're walking, or like, oh, what's down this hallway over here. So we go through this hallway. And it's it's not even it's like a, so it's not a hallway of a business. It's a hallway between businesses. And it's, well, it's got these lights, and it looked really cool. And we're like walking, walking, walking, we fell upon a entire restaurant (Brad: Oh yeah) that we had driven past for years, actually. But because when we drove past it, sorry for my dog, when we drove past it, that it was closed during the day. So we didn't know that on the other side of this gate was this beautiful evening restaurant that you can just go sit out there, these different parents we can like lay down. So if we hadn't, if we hadn't done like, see seeing where curiosity led us, we would never have not we love those owners. And they've done some (Brad: Yeah) amazing stuff.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. So they're lovely couple, and they they're employing an incredible team. And also, PS, when your dad and I were there, we found a beautiful space just behind them, too. In another alleyway that again, if we hadn't been curious and just explored off the beaten path wouldn't have known was even there. (Lesley: Yeah.) So anyway, the idea of skipping the commercial travel. I'm not saying like maybe stay in the hotel, that's fine, especially if you are concerned about safety. But the truth is that you will, as long as you aren't like getting drunk and stumbling through the streets, just like in the United States, like you could get in trouble there too. (Lesley: Yeah) Not necessarily with the law, but like someone could come along and take advantage of you because you're not thinking you don't have it together. What if you've got your mind together, you're probably going to be just fine. Don't do stupid things. Don't get in a fight with people, don't be drunk and running around. And wherever it is that you're exploring, you know, chances are high that you're going to be just fine, especially when you're off the beaten path. Because really, they're just as curious about you as you are about them. (Lesley: Yeah) And I know you told the story about me with the ceremony ... in the bowl. (Lesley: I love that story so much.) It's it was so funny, but But I remember the first time that we went like I don't, it was so it was so incredible because they were just as excited that we were there as we were excited to be there. And that actually felt very warming to me. And I actually I wrote down something that Rolf said, he said, this holds true from Kansas to the other side of the world. If you take an interest in people, people will be flattered that you're taking an interest in them.

Lesley Logan  

It's true. (Brad: Yeah) We've talked about before, like, if you want people to be interested in you be interested in them. And like, it's kind of in Dr. Benders episodes, you talked about that. So we could talk about travel and Rolf all the time ...

Brad Crowell  

Well, I have one more thing I want to say. I have one more thing this is this is something that has, this is very much a passion. It's a belief of mine, actually.

I am convinced with every fiber of my being with all of the experience that I've personally had traveling, that getting out into the world, traveling is the best possible thing that you can do to broaden your perspective, about life, about people, about places. It travel removes fear, it creates empathy, it creates curiosity, it creates connection, it's the best gift that you can give to yourself. It's the best gift that you can give to your family, your kids, when you travel, it will completely hijack the way that you were originally thinking. It will allow you to see people, are people everywhere, even though they do things differently than you do them. Or we do them. You get there and see. Well, I guess they've been doing it like this forever. So there's got to be something to that as well, even if it's not how I do things. And it has just changed the way that I see the world.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I agree. I concur on that. I think that's uh, I wish more people would would travel because I think that it would actually it would change their life for the better even if it was just us a small trip here and there, like doesn't have to be anything big, just even even going if you're in the states in going from north to south, south to north. (Brad: Yeah) Like it's really kind of incredible how that can change your perspective on yourself and on others. (Brad: Yes)

Brad Crowell  

All right. So finally, let's talk about those BE IT action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your conversation with Rolf Potts?

Lesley Logan  

I'm gonna go first. (Brad: Do it.) I'm gonna jump on in. So he said the dream trip you've been thinking about it, it really started me decide it's going to happen. So we talked about it a little bit briefly, but like it and so instead of saying someday, or like I have a dream to go in here, like, it can start now. It can start with you, you like thinking about the kind of trip you want to have when you get there and how long you want to be there. And you don't have to just like wait to plan it, you can actually start start it today. That way, if you fall upon a couple extra weeks, like what am I going to go do? I'm gonna go here? You know what I mean? I think we look at people who can pick up and go, we think, oh, must be so easy for them. No, they've just been thinking about it. They've been ...

Brad Crowell  

They've been, they've been, well, I think actually goes back to the question that we had at the beginning, and making that decision of just simply exploring what it actually like, actually, would costs, actually would look like, you know, my brother went to Belize with his wife when they did their honeymoon. And I thought, "That's amazing. I want to go to Belize." I've never even thought about going to Belize, and I didn't know that he thought about going to Belize, but they just looked into it and sure enough, they were able to make it happen and what an incredible opportunity.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, and I I think you know I want it, I love that you took it back to the question. I really want people to be a part of being it till you see it is not waiting until it happens to do it. Like part of being it till you see it is is thinking about that dream trip as if it is happening and taking steps and tuning your eyes and ears to seeing possibilities for that trip to happen. (Brad: Yeah) And because that's what they do, we've talked about this before. So I think actually, his tip is actually such a be it till you see it thing. So I hope I hear takeaways on this because I would love to see pictures of you on your dream trip now.

Brad Crowell  

I love it. My biggest takeaway is kind of two ...

Lesley Logan  

You really loved this episode.

Brad Crowell  

It was great, this is really amazing. Give yourself permission. Okay, and then slow down and enjoy the experience. Okay, so with the permission, regardless of how I think especially, I was talking about those two different mindsets of travel, you either have like 800 things you need to do, what? Or you're like, I don't want to do anything, leave me alone. Give yourself permission for your trip to change. Okay for you not to do 800 things, for you not to just sit alone by yourself. What if it did, you know something cool could come along, or you meet another guest and they say, "Hey, we're gonna go have dinner down there on the beach, along the beach? Do you want to come with us?" Or, "Hey, we're gonna walk across town, just something fun to explore."

Lesley Logan  

I love this. I actually went ... I went to a soccer game, you know I don't like soccer. But I went in Brazil, because like they're so big on soccer. So I went to one of their professional things. And I was in this was a tour group that was put together. But I met this couple and I said, "Oh, what are you guys doing for dinner tonight?" And they said, "Oh, we're gonna go to one of those places where they serve food. And there's music. It's they have bossa nova." And I said, "Oh, okay, I'll meet you." So I ended up like, I took one plan thing, and I allowed it to create curiosity on the rest of the trip. And it was so much fun to do it that way. I would never have taken myself to that bossa nova and then I would have missed out on all the things that I learned there. So I do think it's (Brad: I love it.) important to do that. And we had done this. Remember when we found that that farm that had like the bikes and like, we had found that bison stuff and like we've had some meats, because we're just driving, we're like, "Oh, what's this over here? Let's take a pause on this drive. And like, go do that." And we found this coffee shop (Brad: Where we?) It was Colorado. (Brad: Oh, oh I was ... Cambodia.) And we found we found this (Brad: Yeah) coffee shop. And then you guys here's what's so crazy. Two years later, we're on this drive. And we left me severity, just need coffee. And we're driving like, Oh, I saw I saw the meet play signs. And I was like, "There's a coffee shop nearby." And he's like, there is like, we are next to it. It's right over here.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. Also, too, you know, I think that we become, you know, we become trapped by our preconceived notion of our, of what our experience is supposed to be. Okay, and very short story. But my, my brother, and I got lost in Maui. (Lesley: Oh, yeah ...) But you know, I'm not going to tell the whole thing but short story, we were in a national park and we stepped off the path and we got lost in the jungle. And five hours later, we find our way back. Now, here's a lot of fear there for me and my brother, also from my parents and my family. Right. But my, my, some of the people in my family were so angry at us, because we made them miss another waterfall that was on the checklist of the itinerary on fucking trip. And I was like, "Okay, I'm alive. I'm glad I'm alive. B) definitely made a mistake. Didn't mean to do that. But really a waterfall that like you're angry because we miss the waterfall. Like, I get it. I want to see this stuff, too. But what if instead, the trip had changed, and something else really amazing happened?" Right? And I think that, you know, I think that we allow ourselves to get bent out of shape, as in that kind of moment. And instead of experiencing where we're at, and being present, and enjoying what's in front of us, we're like, "Damn it, I didn't get to this thing that was on my list. I missed this specific restaurant ... whatever." And, you know, that's like ...

Lesley Logan  

Do you know how many times... Japan, we've had amazing ... times.

Brad Crowell  

We still haven't been a damn fish market.

Lesley Logan  

And we have been to the fish market, nor have we been to the one sushi guy. And we keep trying. (Brad: Yeah) But we have never said, "Damn, we didn't go to the fish market." Like we just like ...

Brad Crowell  

I guess I'll just go home now. (Lesley: I guess ... go home.) No, it's like, "Well, what are we going to do instead?"

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, we did. We found some .... We did some really ... (Brad: Amazing stuff) We found that one amazing shopping area with great restaurants. (Brad: Oh yeah) We found the cherry blossoms there and like, you know we would have missed that.

Brad Crowell  

We found a little hole on the wall sushi bar next to the fishing market.

Lesley Logan  

... Oh that guy was great. (Brad: Yeah) Yeah. And we would never and he had so much fun hearing about us and sharing about his restaurant and (Brad: Yeah) his family and like, we would not have gotten that the fish market. No. So anyways, y'all get Rolf's book if you have not experienced travel like this if you're like, "This all sounds too foreign to me." Good. Go get his book, read a page a day. If you want to be like Brad has her book kill... Brad because her book club around the first book. (Brad: Oh geeze.) I know he's like, "No, don't do that. I'm already doing the Pomodoro method from last week." Anyways, how are you gonna use these tips in your life? I want to know. I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell  

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan  

Thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It's really amazing. I can't believe this is episode 152. We couldn't do this without you.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. Big thanks to Rolf.

Lesley Logan  

Yes and to Rolf for writing some amazing books because of this amazing conversation. Make sure that you DM, DM your questions and your bold moments to the @be_it_pod on Instagram. We are on all the things, we're on the YouTube, we're on the TikTok. So wherever you enjoy watching or listening to podcasts or following and engaging with us, we want to do that with you there. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell  

Bye for now.

Lesley Logan  

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'. 

Brad Crowell  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli. 

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.  

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can. 

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Your dream trip is possible. In the words of someone who has been all over the world, Rolf Potts is here to share with us the authentic way that travel can enhance your life. Rolf speaks about the niche way traveling vagabond style changes your perspective. This episode is all about getting away from the itinerary or what we think will be the right way to do something and allowing fascination with the world to lead us. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• The path to travel writing and vagabonding.
• Allowing travel to teach you something instead of disengaging 
• Get away from the itinerary and become fascinated by the world.
• The reasoning behind the daily readings of Vagabonding
• How micro-adventures lead to the habit of curiosity
• Create rituals that make your dream trip possible 
• Things to think about when getting off the beaten path in travel
• The built-up idea of safety 
• Are you traveling with habits from home? 
• The importance of being present in travel

Episode References/Links:

• Rolf Potts website
• Follow Rolf on IG
• Ryan Holiday's Daily Stoic

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
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• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Hey, Be It listener. Okay, so I'm smiling so big, because I just got to take a trip down memory lane and not with our guests because I just met him. But I, I didn't grow up traveling. And I really had all these thoughts around travel. I thought that it was expensive and I thought that it was difficult and I thought that it wasn't, that wasn't safe. And, and so I really, I didn't get on a plane till I was 18. And I didn't get a passport till I was in my mid 20s. And I really didn't do a big international trip until I was almost 30. And then the world opened up for me in a different way. And I saw it a different way. And I share that with you because our guest this week is Rolf Potts, and he is the Author of Vagabonding. He has a new book out called the Vagabond's Way. And it is 366 meditations on wunderlust, discovery in the art of travel. And it's a really cool book because you can read it as a daily habit like a, like a virtual book. You can read it back to back if you want. But as I was perusing my birthdate day and Brad's birthday, and these other days, I was, I was just inspired by all the different stories he has to remind you to not escape your life with vacation. And he'll say this in the episode but to escape into who you are. And my love is like being it till you see it is not just about taking action in your work. It's it, it's about becoming more of who you are meant to be. And when you travel, and I say this, from my own experience, and you can find your own words on your own trips. But the more I've traveled, the more people I've met. And the more I've experienced, the more I realize how cool and interesting this whole world is, and how much we have to teach each other, and how much we don't have to fear. I think we can have a lot of fears in our life. And when you get out into the world, and you see how different people are living and you see, a different things have been around for so long. You start to realize like how frickin cool this whole world is, and that you're part of it and you're unique part of it. And so here is an amazing conversation I had with an incredible travel author, Rolf Potts, and I hope it inspires you to plan something, plan anything, and I love his little story about microadventure. So maybe you can make that something that you plan this month. That doesn't really cost anything you'll hear, you'll hear in this episode, thank you so much for being a listener of us. Thank you for your reviews and for sharing this podcast and here is Rolf Potts.

All right, Be It listeners. Hey, how are you? I'm really excited because well, our next guest has a total love for travel that I think exceeds mine and Brad's. And I'm really excited to share it with you. And because I really do think that getting out to the world is one of the best ways to learn more about who you are. It just really, really is. And as I read, Rolf Potts is our guest today, Rolf Potts is our guests and his book, The Vvagabond's Way, I think you really are gonna get that inspiration as well. So whether you feel the fear of travel right now, and you're not really going out, or you miss it like crazy, I think this is going to be a really fun conversation. So Rolf Potts, will you tell everyone who you are? And what what you're up to these days?

Rolf Potts  

Well, I'm a travel writer, and I have been for gosh, about a quarter century. I, like many people didn't travel much during the pandemic. But I got my first big international trip this summer. It was awesome. I went to Paris and Norway with my wife has familyin the Faroe Islands before coming back. So I'm, I'm still slightly excited and tired from a great summer trip.

Lesley Logan  

Oh my gosh, I'm so jealous. Yeah, I used to travel like eight to 10 countries a year for the last several years before the pandemic and I didn't grow up traveling. So I didn't actually my first big trip was to Brazil in 2012. And then when my husband I went on a honeymoon in 2015, that was my, like, I went to several countries at once. And I was like, "Oh my God, this is the most amazing thing. I've never done this before." And we never stopped. And then obviously, we all did. But what got you into being a travel writer? How does one do that just go one day, "I'm gonna write, I love traveling, I'm gonna write about it." How did you do that?

Rolf Potts  

If only it were that easy. I actually grew up not traveling much myself, I didn't have a passport until I was 25. Actually, my first big vagabonding trip was earlier than that. I lived in a van for eight months and traveled North America, this is back when you could go to Canada and Mexico without a passport. And then I thought, well, now I'm going to become a travel writer. So I wrote a book, which is a complete failure and complete failures of the best education actually. And then I just kept trying and kept trying, I was out of money. So I moved to South Korea to work as an English as a foreign language teacher, conversation teacher for a couple years. And I just, I just didn't give up. I just kept trying to be a travel writer until I became one. And then my first byline was in my late 20s. And my first book was in my early 30s. And I'm still doing it, even though the the media world has changed. One great thing about being a travel writer is that even if you are not rewarded financially, travel is sort of a reward in itself, you know. And so even if you fail professionally, in an attempt to be a travel writer. Hey, your billy prize is that you have these awesome travels that you can remember for the rest of your life.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, my God. 1,000% love that. I also thank you for sharing that journey. Because I do think like, when you as someone who's written a book, I'm not like, I'm not when I see a book written. I'm like, a lot of work went into this book. And a lot of people might see this book and go, "Oh, well, he's a travel writer wrote a book, of course, he's just like, it just all works out." And so thank you for sharing that. It didn't, (Lesley laughs) it didn't it took a little bit while. When you, can you first actually just for our listeners who might not know what a vagabond is. Can you just kind of explain that?

Rolf Potts  

Yeah, well, I Vagabonding is my first book and, and it's sort of what a lot of my readers know me for, it's about taking time off from your normal life, to travel in earnest. It's not just a vacation, but it's maybe taking six weeks, if that's the amount of time you can find or a year or half a year, or six years, whatever you can find to travel and make travel an active part of your life, not an escape from your life, but an escape into your life. And so I've been talking about that vagabonding style of travel for almost 20 years now. And I've written you know, four other books, but people still love to talk about the Vagabond ethos. And in the new book, The Vagabond's Way, I've sort of returned to that. And I've really used a quarter century of, quarter century, 25 years. Yeah ...

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, that's quarter century. Oh, my God ... When we think about it, you're like, "Oh, my God, that's 25 years." It's a quarter century.

Rolf Potts  

Yeah, no, 25 years of travel and thinking about travel and reading about traveling, obsessing about travel. And it also encompasses like, 3000 years of other people's travels, to sort of bring this wisdom and inspiration about travel into the new book. And yeah, so so there's, there's a lot of different stations in my journey as a travel writer, but it feels like this really, really aggregates the full breadth of my career so far.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So that's a really interesting way to describe travel as not an escape from your life, but something to like, enhance and be part of your life. And I think a lot of people when they think of vacation, they're like taking a break probably they are or what they do. And, and maybe that's mostly the Western culture, that is the US because I find people in Europe take all of August off. And I remember I worked in jewelry. And if we wanted to get this several designers orders, and we had to tell people you must order before July 15. Because otherwise, they're not going to touch it until late September. Like it's just not going to happen. Right? Or like, when you're dealing with people with any manufacturers in China, it's like you better get stuff on a boat before before New Year, otherwise, it's gonna take till March or April. So, I feel like a lot of people don't know that your travel can just be part of enhancement of, of your life. And what why do you think that is? And like how can people kind of retrain themselves into using their travel to teach them something about themselves by their escape?

Rolf Potts  

Well, I think they have to be willing to be open and to make mistakes and be messy about it. That's something you can appreciate it. We were talking before we're recording about Cambodia and how the best place to experience Cambodia isn't necessarily that five star hotel that insulates you from the country you've come to visit. It's actually maybe a homestay or just walking down the street until your day becomes more interesting than it was before. And so I think if you take nothing against the commercial travel industry, but if you see travel as a product that you buy, and you surround yourself with nice meals and air conditioning all the time, then it is going to be separate from your life. But you can, instead of escaping from your life escaping into your life is such a way that you really push the boundaries of who you are. And you challenge yourself in interesting ways on the road. And you you sort of integrate like, you integrate your hobbies, you know, like, if you like playing volleyball, well then find a volleyball game in Cambodia, you know, if you like cooking then find a way to cook a dish, and you don't even have to take a formal class, you can, but you can just find the grandma up the street and ask her how she's making her dish or Google Street front restaurant probably might not be used to a lot of Americans taking a curious interest in them. And so ask if you can hang out in the kitchen for a while and see how they do that. And really, the odds are that that's gonna happen, because again, you're not being a consumer of your travel experience. You're taking control of it. And you're following your heart and your interests and your curiosity.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, yeah. So one way we take messy action, y'all cuz you're like, "How do I do that with like travel? Like, there's things that need to be planned." So when Brad and I decided to go on our honeymoon, he wanted to go to Cambodia. And I was like, that's an interesting place to go on a honeymoon. Where else can we go with that? Because I was like, "I don't what are we doing there? I don't even know." And he was obsessed with this one National Geographic with the first one ever picked up was with the temples. And so we, we picked our flight to Southeast Asia, and then home from Japan, but not the flights in between. (Rolf: Nice.) And then, and then when we flew into Thailand, we picked our flights to the different islands wanted to go to. And we really did try to find the hotels that were more inside the villages or just different than what was like when you look up Google up a, like hotels near me, it's like, where are the ones that are not paying the ads? Like how do we get to like the closest to you? What's going on? And it is so interesting and to talk about cooking. That is a really easy way to go. And when you're in these different countries, like they love that I or I'm one of the only Westerners that comes by and gets the roasted bananas. I'm like, and I speak enough Cambodian to like, get, get the ones I want. And they're so they want to show me how it's done. Because it's very interesting. And I think it changes my life because it makes me realize like, how often do we get to share our gifts and the way that they get to share their as when we're when we're traveling. So I agree with the messy action. There's ways to do it without freaking yourself out. So, you want, I want to get to your book really quick. And then we can bounce around the world with our conversation. But why did you choose it to be a daily read because I really this is very fascinating to me. Of course, I read my birthdate and then I and then I like bounced to Brad's birthday. But I actually use that aggregate earlier. And it really is there's so many great quotes and stories from other people's travels. So how did you go about because that seems like a really big endeavor to find 366 things to write about?

Rolf Potts  

Yeah, well, I loved aggregating it, because it went beyond my own point of view. You know, I could talk about a guy who travelled in Japan in the 13th century, and he had experienced something very human about travel, or a guy who lived 3000 years ago is in Egypt, or a woman who traveled in an age in Europe when travel wasn't really proper for women. But her insights are relevant to today. Actually, the idea to have it in this format started during the pandemic actually met my wife during the pandemic. I have the weirdest pandemic love story. I was supposed to be traveling the world, she was supposed to be traveling the world, we both been in Kansas, which is where we were from. And we went from zero to let's get married very quickly. But in the mornings, and this is still a habit we have to this day, we sit on the deck outside of our house here in Kansas, and we read to each other. And so we read like Mary Oliver poems, or Thich Nhat Hanh daily readings, you know, the Buddhist teacher. And this became such a part of our habit, a habit and such a part of our joy during the pandemic, that I realized that I had accumulated all of this knowledge about travel, both from travel and from reading about travel that why not just do the similar thing, why not create a book about travel that people can read every day, either with a partner with themselves, or you can skip around or read several chapters at once. But I liked that this as a ritual and I wanted to create a book that was a ritual actually another book we read during the pandemic was Ryan Holiday's Daily Stoic, which literally each page is a different quote by a stoic and a reflection about that quote. And so I decided to do a travel version that would compel people to think deeply in sort of beyond that consumer level of travel for each day of the year. And if you don't, if you want to read it in less than a year, that's fine too. But to sort of create this ritual that even when people are at home, they can think about travel and how it inspires people and how it can change your way of being in the world.

Lesley Logan  

I mean, like it is, it is really cool. I I know, I know that people listening are they love the daily ritual, they love morning pages, some of them have different things that they they do their gratitude journals, and so I found this like, "Oh my God, this is something else they could do." I wonder you know, I think it's hilarious. You guys met in Kansas that is not at all where I pictured you being from. So (Lesley laughs) but I wonder like, for the person who you know, is gonna pick up this book, maybe they're not used to traveling alone. Or maybe they have fears around it. I mean, obviously, as they read this book, I think that those fears will be quelled, but like, what, what are some ways that people could be a vagabond without necessarily going on it, on a, I mean I want you to go to Cambodia with me, everyone. But what are some that you can do to like start that travel and escape into yourself like, what what would be those 101, 102 level travels that they could do?

Rolf Potts  

Well, you could throw open your door and walk out the door until your day becomes interesting. I often give that advice in the context of international travel, you know, get away from the itinerary and just walk in this new place and become fascinated by it. This is something you can do at home. And it's funny, I mentioned my my wife during the pandemic, when we couldn't really travel internationally. Like she has cousins in Norway, we couldn't go there. But there's a town on the Kansas prairie here called Little Sweden. So we decided to walk there, it's 22 miles away, it took us seven hours. But it was so fun. I've never, I've never experienced that 22 miles in that way before. I've ... it's always been racing by outside of a car. And so I talked to people and I saw little, little cow herds, and herds of horses that never even noticed before. And so I'm not saying that everybody needs to throw their door open and walk 22 miles, you could walk around the block, or you could go to another neighborhood and try a pub. I quote Alastair Humphreys, he calls these micro adventures, we're basically, instead of sleeping in your bed, you sleep in your backyard, instead of instead of going the same route to work every day you walk to work through a different route. And this is just a way of sort of getting the training wheels in a certain sense for the bicycle that is your long journey. And you just get into this habit of curiosity. And you start to dream about traveling, you start to anticipate further journeys, and you sort of give yourself permission, which in a sense, it's not really about making a ton of money, but it's making enough money to make a journey happen. And so permission is a huge part of it. And it's part of what a lot of those meditations are in The Vagabond's Way. But it's about slowly, even if you can't leave on a big international trip tomorrow. Creating rituals that make that big trip seem more possible.

Lesley Logan  

I am obsessed with this. This is like 100% being it till you see it like being the vacation and being the escape before you can actually get on the plane and, and you my husband, will listen to this, can we do a recap episode, but he would drive a new route to work every single day all the time, like (Rolf: That's great.) all the time. No, in LA, you pretty much want to do that because there's so much traffic or like, I wonder if this turn is gonna get me. Wunder if I'll find a new route here. But it is a way to get like to see parts of your own city that most people don't even know like. And we moved to Vegas in the pandemic and we didn't actually have a car. And people thought was so weird. Like, how do you live in Vegas with a car I'm like, "Well, you can walk places like it's not ... there's a sidewalks." It's not like LA there's actually sidewalks to walk on but but I found like living in a new city gave me that permission to have these little mini adventures because I didn't know anything. So I'm like, this is an adventure, you know. But we can do that today where we are and you are right. It's the permission part is the hardest part. Because a lot of people think that they have to wait and save up for the big trip. Or that if they're not going to some particular like known place that maybe it's not safe to go or maybe they need to be part of a group. And so doing those little micro adventures where they have to be resourceful, and they get lost, and they have to figure out directions is really a great way of practicing it.

Rolf Potts  

Yeah. I think oftentimes people think they need to get a big trip out of their system. And I thought this way when I was younger, you know, I thought that I would work hard my whole life and then retire from work. And then I could travel as I thought. But you know, my grandfather was a Kansas farmer. And he'd worked harder than anybody ever knew in my life. He started farming when he was 15. You know, he quit school to start farming at that age. Well, grandma had Alzheimer's by the time he was ready to retire. And I don't know that he dreamed of travel necessarily, but he just wasn't able to enjoy his retirement with a woman he loved in that way that he thought he might have. And so I realized when I was young, that I needed to create this time. And so my first vagabonding trip eight months around North America, I thought I would get travel out of my system. But I really just sort of learned that it's easier and safer and cheaper than I thought it would be. And you don't need to just have one dream trip and then be done with it. So I think that you can start by you're talking about solo versus group travel, you can go on a group trip that's one week long to Croatia, just to get a taste for things and odds are, you're gonna learn that you don't really need that group trip that these restaurants are available to anybody who walks up and asks for food, you know, and that you can actually stay longer you kind of want to stay longer and you can maybe find a way to spend a month or two on the road too. And so baby steps, I'm all for baby steps. (Lesley: Yeah.) I think sometimes we think I'm going to do my dream trip and then I'll have my dream trip. Well you can have a little lot of little micro trips that lead up to a dream trip and they will inform that dream trip that will make it so much more dynamic than you ever would have imagined when you're sitting at home dreaming about it.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I am, so similarly, I don't think I got my passport till I was a little over 25. Because yes, it was somewhere in my early 20s, that you ended up having a passport to leave the states to go into Canada or Mexico. So I had to get one. And I didn't really feel like it was on an international trip until I went to Brazil. Like I don't know why that felt like it's like it doesn't doesn't feel real if I can still drive there. So I flew in and I ended up doing Rio by myself, which was its own adventure. But one thing I did learn, that I didn't know is it doesn't have to be as expensive. And you mentioned that earlier. But like, if you like volleyball, find volleyball, I'm gluten and dairy free. So even just searching for restaurants that could offer those things took me off these beaten paths. And I found other bloggers who had traveled before me, who had said, "Go to this restaurant, they have gluten free stuff." And so I found myself at this art school in Rio, there was no one else that wasn't a local and I got to experience this beautiful place. It was this old mansion, and I went on this hike. And I had was able to hire a guy to walk me up to hike me up to Christ, the Redeemer versus take the tram up to Christ, the Redeemer. And I would never have had that adventure. Had I not like Googled something that was important to me while I traveled and found other people's trips and other people's like journeys and like oh, and it was so much easier than I expected. And, and I didn't realize that you could it didn't have to be the most expensive trip I made a could be something that I could actually afford. And I realized then I was like, "Oh, international travel isn't that hard, it felt hard because I hadn't done it." And then once you do it, you're like, "Oh, I could take, I could stay a little longer." So I have been back to Rio a couple times. And I would love to take Brad but we keep bouncing around to other places. So I had to share that because if you if you do have something specific that you can look up, there's something that you really love, you'll find things that are so unique, and you end up on these interesting corners in these cool places.

Rolf Potts  

Yeah, little missions are great. Like when I was in Rio, I tried to learn Samba. (Lesley laughs) And I was terrible, like it was I failed as a Samba guy, but sort of that emboldened me to go to clubs with a dance salsa, or Samba and to hire a tutor to teach me Samba. And she invited me to different festivals around town, you know, I sort of it gave me a community, which is really fun. And just those little details, gluten free, whatever if you give yourself a mission or a mystery to solve, then suddenly, you're in that neighborhood that isn't catering to tourists. It's cheaper. People are as interested in you as you are in them. And like every place there's these mysteries like in Rio when I was there, like mannequins in stores are curvier. Like the the beauty, the vision of beauty in Brazil is not sort of this super skinny thing that you see in mannequins in the United States. It's like, yeah, these these are bigger curvier mannequins. And that's cool. And so it's like, if you see a city as a mystery, or if you use a certain desire or interest or even a limitation, to explore the city through that way, you find all sorts of delightful surprises along the way.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, but oh, my goodness, it's like, I'll tell you a really funny story. It didn't feel funny at the time but it's it's funny to look back to. So, in Thailand, you know, they have their little motor group of motorcycles and motos are like Vespas, basically, to pictures, everyone, and I would see like three or four people on these with the driver. And Brad and I are like, "Oh, well, we want to ride on one, the two of us," which like, he's six foot, I'm five, nine. Right. So so but we're like, because he has a motorcycle back in LA when we lived in LA. And so I rode on back, like, "Let's do it together." So it was our last day in Bangkok. And we had I love vintage shopping. So we every time we go international, we look for a vintage shop. And then I try to find something unique and amazing. And so we're off the beaten path somewhere random and just finished our vintage shopping, we see a guy on a moto that you could hire. And so we think that we're negotiating two people, one bike, and then both drivers each hand has a helmet and we're like, "Oh, well, I guess we got a really good deal on two people and two bikes, but that's fine." We'll go because we didn't want to disappoint the other person. So we get on the bikes. And we're driving through and my husband's driver goes left and mine goes straight. And I was like, "This is not okay with me. This feels very unsafe. This feels like brokedown palace. Oh my God what's that to happen?" And so your brain is like going these like mile a minute. And we stop at a stoplight and I was like, okay, hold on. If he was kidnapping me probably wouldn't stop at a stoplight. And I am tall enough to put my feet down. And he could just go and I could just be standing here. So if at the next red light Brad is not back, I'm gonna just do that. And so we're we're on this tour. We're just trying to find this one restaurant and I look over this is we have to poach a red light and I see in the glass my husband's moto come up behind me. And I was like, "Okay not being kidnapped today." And I don't say this is like scare anybody but it was just like, it's interesting, the adventures that could happen. And it's more like no one was trying to do anything evil. It's just my brain went there. And it was a hilarious thing, which my husband then pulled his phone out and recorded the entire drive to where we were going. But we, we saw a very unique part of town. And we tried to go on a little mini mission that went terribly wrong, but it's a story that we have. And I, I'm appreciative of it, because, you know, it's not every day that you get to go see parts of Bangkok and experience that life.

Rolf Potts  

Yeah, no, and you put yourself there's so much not knowing in travel, you know, there's so much like, this money looks like play money. I'm not really sure what's it. The you know, this street car in Bangkok has is serving what I think are grasshoppers, and I'm not sure and I'm going to try. Or, you know, my husband is not there. So where am I going? It really, it compels you to put trust in the kindness of strangers, and it's yields rewards almost all the time that you're just in a place where you're, you're like a kid again, like you're not really sure what's going on. You don't know all the words of the language. But and Thailand is a great example. That's a great starter city in Southeast Asia, you know, (Lesley: Yeah.) more so than Myanmar, Cambodia, just because good roads, it's a friendly place. You know, I just love that as an entryway into Southeast Asia or Asia in general. (Lesley: Yeah.) And it's pretty chill too. You know, there's I'm sure there is crime in the city. But the travelers I talked to felt pretty safe in Thailand ...

Lesley Logan  

Well 1,000%. Yeah, I mean, like I live, it's really funny what people think about safety because my brain did have that moment. And then it's like, "Wait a minute, this person would not stop at a stoplight if they were trying too" (Rolf: Just a good detail. Yeah.) You know, like, it's just like, really important. But like, also, you know, where you live right now and people who listen to this, listen, live all over the world. But gen general where are you live right now has its own issues of safety. And I used to live across the street from the federal building in Los Angeles. And we moved to Las Vegas, they were trying to put us in like take us to like suburbs. And I was like, "I don't this feels really weird. It feels very clean. This is a this actually feels really uncomfortable for me." Where where we are about out these houses like oh, it's an anon safe area. It's like, well, what does that mean? Because I grew I lived for seven years across the street from people like shooting up and getting drunk. I mean, like, like, what are we talking about? What's unsafe here, like "well some breaking in" and I'm like, that's fine. But I think we we can build up in our head, what safety and unsafety can be. And what you find out is most of these places, they're so excited to actually share their city with you. And as long as you're being a little bit more wise, then you know, you can experience some great places. But I would say yeah, Thailand was very good starter Southeast Asia. Cambodia, Siem Reap is a great place because it is very much about the tourism, but you get out to the countryside, you definitely want to hire someone, I wouldn't personally go by myself yet. I probably will now that I've been there 15 times. But you know, I think I think it's cool to put yourself in that space where you can be curious. And then also challenge yourself to see that well, people are really nice. Like you said, they're really kind. And we tend to not think about that.

Rolf Potts  

Yeah, I think oftentimes the the negative things that happens to tourists kind of happened in tourist zones. There's people there, the the scam artists congregate in tourists, I'm not knocking to reason there's, there's, there's a reason why, you know, Angkor Wat or whatever, (Lesley: Yeah.) it is a thing. It's amazing there, but, you know, they're used to tourists, and they realize that tourists are sort of have a lot more money than them. And so that's where the scams are, that's where the pickpockets are. And there's ways to defend yourself get against that. But if you sort of wonder like 600 yards off the beaten path, you'll be like, the first outsider they've seen in a long time. And there's there's no economy in you know, those people have no pickpocketing skills, they have no scamming skills. They're just like, this is the most interesting thing that's happened to me this week. Here's this is this pasty American wander around asking me questions about this food, and I'm gonna get grandma and we're going to we're going to teach her how to fix it. Right. (Lesley: Yeah.) And so that is, and actually, you're right, you know that well. And the logic that applies to any city in America applies to cities internationally, don't go to don't get drunk and go to dangerous neighborhoods at bad times of night. Use your common sense and be curious and be friendly and ask questions. And people it's so great. I mean, this holds true from Kansas to us out of the world. If you take an interest in people people will be flattered that you're taking interest in them (Lesley: Yeah.) and they'll share your life with you. It's the kindness of strangers just blows me away again (Lesley: Yeah.) and again.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, so there's one one thing we did we do off the beaten path in Siem Reap is there's a pagoda that's way off the beaten path. It's beautiful like you would you would when we pull up it's not that they don't see buses because they come in on buses for the new moon and and the full moons for holidays. But I came in and it was a high holiday for them, and we went to offer the monks food because the monks cannot, for anyone listening to this, no, no, they cannot touch through there has not been offered to them. So food can be there, they can't eat it. So we go and we are trying, no one taught us anything. So Brad is like lifting up a spoon and he's lifting up the ball, like lifting anything. And we're just like, "Okay, I'm like, lifting up the soda, like all the things." But you do this amazing ceremony for them. And then we sat down. And because we were out weighing in the countryside, we were very, we were more interesting to them and they invited us for lunch. And we had this very, very, like normal for that side of town, that side of the country lunch, which is very interesting for us. And it was so cool to share that experience. And you're right, we probably were the talk of the town for a bit. And especially Brad, because he was with like four women in the country side.

Rolf Potts  

Yeah, I think I think I like that you guys weren't quite sure how the ritual went? Because especially in those areas, you're given forgiveness, you know, people will look at you and it's like, okay, this guy is doing the ceremony wrong. But he's clearly not from here. And I bet he is pretty cool. And so I've had great experiences like that in Myanmar and other on the other side of Thailand from from Cambodia. (Lesley: Yeah.) I've been to festivals, I write about it in the new book in The Vagabond's Way about during rainy season, when I thought everyone was saying, "Don't go to Myanmar that month, you know, it's gonna rain every day." Well, it rained every day. And that meant that there weren't that many tourists there. And that meant that everybody at Vagon, which is their big field of monuments, they were just they took more they had more time for me. Right. And, and that was the cheapest pitcher of beer I've ever had. It was about 40 US cents. (Lesley laughs) It was nice, delicious pitcher of beer. And and yeah, it's funny how you get two travelers in a room together. And one story sparks a story for them. (Lesley: I know ...) So your your Cambodia story reminds me of my Myanmar story. And it was it was delightful.

Lesley Logan  

We wanted to go there so much. Um, so you, you mentioned that so in the book, you have like you said, you went to Myanmar on the season when some people said not to go. So what are some other tips that you have kind of maybe you shared in the book, but like, what are some things people can think about that are probably off the beaten path. So traveling, maybe not, when it's normal, maybe getting out of the tourist areas, because it probably is a little safer. And there's more interesting things, and people are more interested in you, and you can be interested in them. What else do we have?

Rolf Potts  

Well, I don't want to knock the beaten path too much, because it's beaten for good reasons I talk about desire trails, like there was this German scholar who's he couldn't figure out why there are all these shortcuts across the college green where he was studying. And so he had the landscaping department resod it and then a couple months later, they come back with their desire trails that those are the those were stewards, students wanted to go, those were the shortcuts. So the beaten path is beaten for a reason. But you don't have to go that far from the beaten path to find something that is more authentically, French, or Thai or Ugandan than what is right in the tourist district. And it's really about giving yourself permission and thinking, well, if I can buy this plate of food for $10, on the tourist trail, I wonder if I can get it for a fraction of that price, like a 10 minutes walk in this direction. And so really just realizing that there's no prescription you can, you can sort of do what you want. You're in a city full of people who live here and who have to buy clothes and have to buy food. And you can go into those non prescribed tourist neighborhoods. And in addition to having more spontaneous experiences with people who have time for you, you also save money, you know, staying in hotels where local people stay rather than staying in the big giant air conditioned complexes. And so really, it goes back to a word I come back to, again is permission, give yourself permission to take that trip, give your permission, yourself permission to take time and give yourself permission to just sort of follow your curiosity instead of your itinerary.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I am. It made me think of like, one of the things that I love about travel is we don't, we don't often we don't actually upgrade our phones to allowing us to take in calls unless we're on Wi Fi, wherever we are. And so what I love (Rolf: Great strategy.) because you can get very present. And you know, now you can download Google Maps on your phone, zoom in really quick and then zoom out and it will stay on whether you're online or offline. It's really easy, but but we I really love it because that walk from my house, even in my own village where I stay, or I have our house. I that walk from my house to where I'm going to go get my coffee that morning. And that coffee shop does have Wi Fi, it's 15 minutes long river no one can get a hold of me, no one can ping me. I can't be distracted. I can't be scrolling. So I only can take in how the city has changed since the last time I was there. And I think like it's so if you can do it, it's so worth doing because even when I was in Australia, which everyone speaking English, it kind of like was a Melbourne it's not actually like a very I mean it's a beautiful city to me. It's new but it wasn't like this unique thing, it looked like New York. Right? But not having any Wi Fi forced me to like look around and get curious in a place where I could make a lot of assumptions. And I find that to be a very cool thing to give yourself permission to do like, just, you'll get on Wi Fi, there's Wi Fi everywhere, you just gotta go pop and ask a question, but it allows you to get stay more present.

Rolf Potts  

Yeah, getting out of your smartphone habits is huge, because those are habits of home. Like when we're bored at home, we pick up our phone, when we when we, when we're lonely at home, we pick up our phone, but you've paid all this money go to the other side of the world, and you sort of had the same instincts, you're bored for 10 minutes in Melbourne or Cambodia, and you're looking at your phone, really? So that's a great strategy is just not buying the data and not being reachable. And my wife this summer did one step further. We were in Paris, and she decided she was going to use an old school paper map. And so while we had Wi Fi, when we were in the house, we were staying, she she did have to research the restaurants she wanted to go to but then she drew a little a little dot on the map and we used our paper map to find our way around Paris. And we weren't distracted. If we saw something beautiful and took a picture, we couldn't text it to our friends or posted on social media. That paper map forced us into a sort of presence in Paris. That was really delightful. And it's a good it's a good travel hack in a way just like yeah, don't buy the data plan. Don't, don't be reachable. Find a way to cut yourself off because you've paid good money and you've dreamt about this place. Be there. Don't distract yourself with your phone. Don't text somebody else. Don't post on social media. Just take that time in the middle of the day when you're not connected to Wi Fi and commune with the city, commune with the place where you've come so far to be.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, oh my gosh, I like I need to get on a plane right now. Somewhere somewhere cool. So your books amazing. I'm I'm am doing the daily parts, because that's why you wrote it. And I kind of like I it's not going to be every day that I can get on a trip. But I do want to give myself permission to dream about them or find mini micro trips. So thank you for writing this and bringing this to us. Is there anything else people should know about this amazing book you wrote?

Rolf Potts  

Well, just that that it's a daily reading book, but you can use it. You can you can skip around, you can start with your birthday, you can start with Christmas, you can do whatever it's, it's not prescriptive. It's basically 366 ideas about travel and how it can enlarge your life. There's an ethos to the book, but it's not a prescriptive ethos. And so find your own way of being a traveler and pick it up. As I say in the introduction, if after reading a few chapters, you fling it aside because it doesn't fit in your luggage for a trip you've decided you can no longer postpone. Well, then it's done its job, right. (Lesley: Yeah.) Yeah, and so ...

Lesley Logan  

I love that. You were, and when I read that I was like, "Genius." And I and I love that you gave another permission slip for people to not finish the book before they they hit the road.

Rolf Potts  

Absolutely not a requirement at all.

Lesley Logan  

We're gonna take a brief break and find out where people can find you follow you learn more about traveling with you.

Alright, Rolf, where do you like to hang out? Where can people buy your book? What's what's going on?

Rolf Potts  

Well, I'm an old school author, website guy, rolfpotts.com, which I've owned since 1998, is still the best place to find about my work. All of my books, articles. It also links to my social media accounts at @rolfpotts on Instagram or Twitter, although I don't use social media a ton, but it's a good starting place, I guess. And you can ask for it at your favorite bookstore, you can buy it online, but I'm a big fan of independent bookstores. And so call your local store and say, "Do you have this book?" And if not, "Why?" Because I'm curious, and to be inspired about travel.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, I love that. And I too, I think like small bookstores, thank goodness for them because they keep neighborhoods interesting and curious as well. Okay, so I am jealous that you own your url because mine mine is actually owned but I think a travel writer, (Rolf: Okay.) write my name.

Rolf Potts  

Well, I have a weird name. Is not many Rolf Potts is in the name ...

Lesley Logan  

I know, shockingly, Lesley Logan with an E Y has been taken before which I was like, "Oh, I know. I know." Anyways, it's okay. That's why there's .co. Okay, be it till you see it action item. So bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take from this episode, what do you have for us?

Rolf Potts  

Well, one thing is that that dream trip that you've been thinking about it, it really starts when you decide it's going to happen. Even if you don't have enough money or, you know, the wherewithal for a couple of years that I once you've decided it's going to happen and that you're not going to make any more excuses, then it becomes real. And psychologists say that the pleasure of travel starts in the anticipation phase. And so that's a fun thing. Even when you're working hard maybe you don't even like your job but you're saving money you're saving X number of dollars every week for this trip that you've been dreaming about. The trip is started in a certain way, it becomes real the moment you decided to make it happen. That's that's one of my pieces of advice. And it's it's a very optimistic one because how fun is that that your trip decides once you decided it's going to happen? Right? (Lesley: That's amazing.) Yeah. Tied into this a little bit is the second one which is make plans, research your trip travels, to your tier delight, it's good to be prepared but it's also good to throw out your plans when you're inspired by the place where you've arrived in. I think sometimes we plan our trips too carefully. And it's like, well, I sort of want to do this cooking class, or I want to go to this place that all the travelers are raving about. But my itinerary says, I should go here. So I'll probably go here. No, that's fine. Give yourself permission. Regardless of how detailed your itinerary is, give yourself permission to throw it away, the moment you find inspiration. And oftentimes you find inspiration, five minutes after you walk off the plane and you smell this new place. Right. So find that balance between making plans and then breaking those plans from inspiration. And my third tip, and this applies to everything in travel is just slow down. I know you're gonna have like 50 things that you want to do in a place like Cambodia, or Italy, or Peru, or wherever you go. But don't try to pack them into a small space, let your days breathe, slow down and realize that even having lunch on the other side of the world is a travel experience. Even if it's not on your bucket list this restaurant that you didn't know about until 10 minutes before and it's kind of delicious. Allow yourself to slow down, enjoy that place. And as much as traveling through the place, let that place travel through you a little bit just just sit still and be present in that place. And that's really comes with the permission to let yourself slow down and enjoy yourself.

Lesley Logan  

I I pictured myself in seven different places, as you were saying all those things. I love them so much. Y'all how are you going to use these BE IT action items in your life? How like, let us know. So you can tag @rolfpotts, you can take the @be_it_pod. Share this with a friend who you wish you could go vagabonding with or or or has had a trip on their mind that they haven't taken action on because you know, it really is an escape into yourself. I love how you put that Rolf, you have an amazing way with words which is why you're a writer. But also this has been a very fun conversation me to picture all the places I've been and the places I want to go. So thank you for this and everyone until next time, Be It Till You See It.

 'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'. 

Brad Crowell  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan  

 Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.  

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.  

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can. 

Brad Crowell  

 And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Would you dance alone? Would you take a step forward just through instinct? This conversation has everything from creating a sleep routine and sunset alarms, to allowing the universe into your decisions. After this convo, maybe you will dance alone.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How to build a better sleep routine
• How to become an invitation for others 
• Can you make a wrong decision? 
• How to include the universe into the choice

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the questioning convo I have with Joanna Vargas in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to the interview, feel free to pause this now. Go back and listen to this one that one, then listen to this one. And the ...

Brad Crowell  

And then join. I'm Brad.

Lesley Logan  

I'm Lesley Logan. (Brad: Whoa. Just sneak it in.) We're working on this new idea of introducing ourselves at the beginning instead of the end. You know, it didn't occur to me that like it was weird to have the names of the end until I was listening to podcasts where they like, like they say their names of beginning I was like (Brad: Right) "Oh, we don't do that." (Brad: Yeah, maybe we should.) But I mean, it says Be It Till You See It with Lesley Logan. You should know who I am.

Brad Crowell  

... you did sort of just introduce me when you mentioned your co host in life, Brad. (Lesley: ... you're introduced. I'm introduced. So I'm covered.

Lesley Logan  

So I'm the only one who is never introduced because I don't introduce myself on an interview and I don't ... If you're new, let me know if it's confusing as to who I am in any episode. That's what I like to know. Because if it's not then this is not an issue. We can keep moving on. Anyways, we are still in Cambodia. (Brad: Yes.) Which means we are recording this as if it's happening when you're listening to it. But really we're recording it before, we going on a flight. And so I'm I'm I'm manifesting how fucking awesome Cambodia.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, right now I am, I am, I'm half, I'm up to my knees in the Cambodian River. No ...

Lesley Logan  

No, he's not. We don't get in the water.

Brad Crowell  

...river. It's gross. (Lesley: We don't get in the water.) But we are probably hiking through a jungle.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, well, we're supposed to be in a waterfall.

Brad Crowell  

Well, it's a Thursday ... (Lesley: So we have already ...) But it's Wednesday here. Thursdays? Yeah, yeah, we will be out of what, we might actually literally be at a waterfall while this is happening.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, there's a waterfall in Cambodia. And if you are on our retreat, you already know that we're doing this for you. But it's a surprise. (Brad: Surprise) Because we don't usually do the waterfall. If we're a big group, we just can't (Brad: Yeah) there's just not enough time. But with a small group we can. So it's so friggin exciting. And then we come back and Brad goes to Philly. No, we don't, we come back together. (Brad: And we will go to Arizona.) And we go to Arizona. Yeah, then I might to TBD on the actual scene of the Grand Canyon since I have only seen it from a plane. And if you don't know the story in 2018, when I was like, I'm not going to East Coast unless we drive. And so we were in a really tiny SUV and drove cross country. And we were driving through the south and I were going the Grand Canyon. And I said, Brad, I just heard in the bathroom that we're driving in a blizzard that unbeknownst to me, so a little crazy weather but I was just like, I guess this is winter. I'm not from, I'm not from any place, but California. It's the Grand Canyon. You can't miss it.

Brad Crowell  

It's like you can see it from space. It's the Grand Canyon.

Lesley Logan  

Let me just tell you, y'all. It was a whiteout. You could not, you could, I don't know how to show you this because this is a podcast and I also don't have to show it to you on YouTube because we're not putting it here. But maybe Amanda can post on the @be_it_pod Instagram, the pictures of me seeing the Grand Canyon in real life for the first time with my feet on the ground. You can't fucking see the Grand Canyon. (Brad: Yeah) Not even on the near side. Even we like tilted it like look, here's the Grand Canyon 10 feet from us. You can't see it. So it's like run because I'm not getting snowed in this place.

Brad Crowell  

I know it was coming down so hard. It was literally like if we don't move right now we might not be able to leave.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, yeah. So at any rate, um, the hope is that I get to camp one night at the Grand Canyon. And then we come back (Brad: Yeah.) And Brad leaves me to go to the Thanksgiving at his parents place and see his grandfather and (Brad: Yeah) his family. And then he comes back and I leave for Dallas, Texas with Erika Quest.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah ...

Lesley Logan  

 And then we come back, I come back, and then we drive to Texas.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah then we ... (Lesley and Brad laughs) Yeah, you come back out. You're we're here for less than a week. And then we hit the road.

Lesley Logan  

If I did want to see New Mexico and I and I had a way to like have my own place in Dallas for 10 days. I probably just stay there but that's not really I really want to see New Mexico. So anyway, I'm coming back. So it's a very busy winter for us. And it's because we're going on tour. But just to go back if you are like, "Wait, you're gonna be in Dallas with Erika Quests?" Yes, we are. And to be honest, how can you get on that? (Brad: You're gonna have to DM us.) You gotta DM me because the reality is is well ...

Brad Crowell  

Well you there for some workshops.

Lesley Logan  

I'm there for some workshops. It's only workshop. We are teaching classes on the tour. We'll be back in Dallas at each class on the tour. But the space is very limited. And so you got to hit me up to get this special link.

Brad Crowell  

I think Dallas will be teaching class on like 13th, 14th or 15th of December, I can't ever exactly ...

Lesley Logan  

One of those is Dallas and one of those is Houston. (Brad: Right.) Yeah.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. So anyway, stay tuned.

Lesley Logan  

But the workshops, let me just like be like really quick like, toot my own horn. It's my fucking podcast, its what we do. But Erika Quest and I, are teaching how classical and where classical and contemporary collide, which is not where we compare classical and contemporary exercises, we actually are colliding them together. It's a really fun, empowering workshop. We are, we did it in Chicago, we're making it a four hour workshop this time. So we're super excited. And then the next day, she's got a really fun workshop going on. And then I go solo on like building your tower up, because so many people are like, how do I make a tower class? So I'm super excited the first time I'm gonna teach this workshop. (Brad: Cool) I love building tower classes up. This is where I get created. (Brad: Yeah) So we're doing that. There's anything that interests you and you are in the Dallas area, you can hit me up. And if you are wanting to work out with me in Dallas or Houston, then you should hit me up anyways, because I'm the only one who has these links. (Brad: There you go.) Do we have a question?

Brad Crowell  

Yes ... So we got, we've love this question kind of was a spinoff from the question from the last recap. So ... (Lesley: Oh, way to go team.) And the reason is because I actually had a whole conversation with one of our retreaters about the ... of the idea, the process of falling asleep. And she said, I have trouble sleeping, I can climb into bed, and I leave myself enough time. But then I find that I'm I just can't sleep, I can't sleep. And so I asked her like, "Okay, why? Are you, are you thinking?" And she's like, "Yes, I'm totally thinking the whole time. And I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking and I'm not sleeping, sleeping, sleeping instead. And ...

Lesley Logan  

And by the way, thinking when I'm not sleeping, and looking at your clock makes it worse, don't look at the clock, don't count down.

Brad Crowell  

So I have spent a lot of time studying sleep, which is ironic because I don't sleep very much. And it's ...

Lesley Logan  

I am making him sleep more because (Brad: It's a constant battle.) I need him to live as long as me or longer. I don't wanna be the first to go.

Brad Crowell  

And one of what I figured out, I'm just gonna let you keep saying those things. That's great. I love you and I'm not dying. But the point is, the point is for me, for me, and probably for most, sleep is actually a decision. Okay, so the problem with the thinking is that you have not decided to sleep.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, that's interesting. I think that's true. Because how many times are you talking to me and I in the middle of a sentence, I just, I'm asleep. (Brad and Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell  

Hey love that so great that we're gonna .... you're asleep. So so like, you get in bed, because you have to get in bed. It's an obligation, Okay, I better go to sleep now. Instead, it's like, I got to do it, because I have to do it right now. And, you know, instead of the idea that I am going to sleep. When you can hear that in the background. Our dog is literally digging up the new carpet that's she uses for workout. (Lesley: The new, new carpet.) The new carpet (Lesley: And so...) that she's deciced it's not comfortable enough. And she's pulling it off the floor.

Lesley Logan  

It's not comfortable. I don't care. It's a beautiful rug. 

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. Anyway, the point is, you know, there are a handful of tips that I can absolutely recommend. That will allow you to go to sleep the and there's a bunch of stats, the average person takes seven minutes to fall asleep. The tips that I can give you are this, if you find yourself thinking, thinking, thinking, remember you are not only are you going to make a decision of when you fall asleep, but you're going to make a decision of when you're going to wake up. Okay? Because this is going to help you not sleep through your alarm, which I'm so good at doing. But when I make the actual decision, I literally say to myself, tomorrow I'm gonna get up at 8:30 or 7:15 or 6:53, it doesn't matter. But if I specifically say I'm going to get up at x time, then when that clock rolls around, I actually do it. I actually get out of bed. If I don't literally say I'm gonna get up at x time. When that alarm goes off. I'm like, "Oh, I'm probably okay to sleep for another 10 minutes." Right. And then I sleep 20 minutes. So there's decisions that are being made here. So but there are some suggestions that I can make for you about actually stopping your mind from spinning. Get a pen and paper put it next to your bed every time you have a thought. What we talked about in the last episode is that you're probably worried you're going to forget something you have to do. So write that thing down. Now you can give yourself permission not to try to remember that you don't need to remember it is written down, you can now relax. Because you're not stressed that you have to remember this, that stress is going to keep your mind going. So that you remember to do the thing tomorrow, don't forget, right? So that's a huge thing. If you are an ideator, like me, when I go to sleep, I've what I used to find myself, like, that's when I was writing a new song. I don't know why, why is that the time I don't know. But that's when my brain is like, "Wow, I got this really cool idea." I would then record a voice memo on my phone. So then again, I don't have to try to remember it, because I won't remember it. And that stresses me out. And then I would stay away, try to remember it. Right. Another thing you can do is focus on your breathing. Okay, and the breathing in through the nose. And it could be out of the nose or mouth.

Lesley Logan  

It should be in and out through the nose for sleep. It's grounding.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. But the what when you create an even breath, in and out through your nose, I find it allows my mind to wander and the wandering, not the thinking. The wandering is actually my secret sauce for how I go to sleep. I literally put myself in my own movie in my head. Okay.

Lesley Logan  

I can't wait to tell you about how I fall asleep because we have a different way to fall asleep.

Brad Crowell  

I put myself in my own movie in my head, where I'm the, I'm either like the lead character or I'm falling along as like, third party, but I'm envisioning the scenery. I'm feeling it, smelling it, seeing it, like I'm actually in an environment that I'm creating. And I let my mind continue to create that, that environment and that scene and that thing that's happening. And literally, I find myself dreaming about that.

Lesley Logan  

I love these things. (Brad: Yeah) They're all really helpful. A couple things. There are tons of studies about sleep you like if you ever hear me talk about ideal schedule. The first thing I'm going to tell you that goes in your schedule is when you go to bed when you wake up, when you go to bed, and when you wake up. You, I don't care what else you think is the most precious thing. I don't care if it's your amazing children, I don't care if it's brilliant job, I don't care, I don't care. I don't care how much it pays you. When do you go to sleep and when you wake up is the first thing goes in your calendar. And it's very important. Because there's so much that sleep is in charge that you cannot be it till you see it if you aren't sleeping. And I promise you this because if you're not sleeping, you're not going to prepare your body for digestive cycle. If you don't go through digestive cycle, you don't absorb nutrition, if you don't absorb nutrition, it doesn't matter how (Brad: Stress) positive you are, you have high stress, you'll stop producing stomach acid, your B12, your vitamin D, your absorption rates are gonna go down. You can be the most positive person in the room and you'll become the most depressed person in the room ... (Brad: How do you know this?) Because it was me. (Brad laughs)

Brad Crowell  

Actually ... it became a vicious cycle (Lesley: Yeah) because she ...

Lesley Logan  

I had stomach issues which causes sleep issues. Which cause stomach ...

Brad Crowell  

And sleep issues cause stomach issues. Right. So it was now the chicken or the egg.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, and it was, it was, it was insane. So Arianna Huffington has a book called Sleep. Cuz home girl probably should read this book. Home girl also was like, "I'll sleep when I'm dead." (Brad: Yeah, that's literally I used to say. I'll sleep when I'm dead.) She broke her jaw of her nose. She broke her face because she ... she had her head like her face on her hand. And she was reading and she literally slipped and her whole face hit the desk. (Brad: Yeah.) And she broke her body. (Brad: Yeah.) So she ended up studying sleep. And there's a lot of things you can do. First of all, a sleep routine. And this is really important, just like a morning routines important, a sleep routine is actually really important. You could, you you should sleep in the same clothes or as close to the same clothes as possible every night. This is going to help you so like literally it's just sleeping. So unless you're sweating, like you probably wear your sleep clothes a couple of times a row or by by five of them and like habit there and so you have the sleeper ... do your brushing teeth, face washi whatever your stuff is in the same order at night, it will literally prepare your brain for sleep because it no... "Oh, when I do this, I go to sleep." So it's it's the same as like training an animal. Like there's these things that happen and then your brain goes okay, like's routines. Second, you should not be looking at your screens, ideally two hours before sleep but like please, please, please at minimum one hour. One hour before bed, my dog and my dog is a little loud. (Brad: He's growled up.) I know. Because I'm waking up his sleep. (Brad: Yeah.) So one hour before bed, no screens. It's like, I cannot tell you how many studies are out there. Like literally ladies who are in love with Huberman. He even says it. Okay, so if you're not going to take my word for it, if you're looking for a handsome doctor, he says it. So it's really really important. That is why if you missed the last recap episode, you heard me say my phone doesn't come with my dog walk. Because that actually gives me at least 90 minutes before bed sometimes two hours before I go to bed to go, one of my sleep routines is actually fall asleep to the same music every night. How do I do this? My phone's not with me. Guess what? Google Voice, Google Play, whatever, Siri, all these things are amazing. You all technology to do this. I literally just press play on it. If we want to walk, it's playing in the room. So when I walk into the room, the room is already set up for sleep. And it goes off at a certain time. If I said that, that's a new thing I have to have have happened. But ...

Brad Crowell  

But also you can talk to Google Home. (Lesley: Yeah, I just thought ...) And you can say hey, (Lesley: turn the music off) yeah, turn off the music in 25 minutes ... I also have a sunrise alarm clock. And just so that you understand she actually keeps her phone in the living room. And then it's Bluetooth through the wall, to our Google Home speaker in the bedroom. And then so she sets it playing the mute her sleep music before we go into dogwalk. Then we walk for I don't know, an hour, and then we come home. And then she has her sleep routine. And once she's climbed into bed, the music's still been playing this whole time. Then she tells Google, turn it off and you know, 25 minutes (Lesley: Yeah) or 15 minutes or whatever. And ...

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I like to give myself a little, I like to give myself more time than I know that I need because there's nothing more stressful than the music going off because I fall asleep and you're like ...

Brad Crowell  

But how do you wake up with your alarm (Lesley: Okay) on your phone and it's in the other room? How does that work?

Lesley Logan  

So I have a sunrise alarm clock that by the way also has a sunset thing. This is also a proven thing and I am not a napper, I hate fucking napping. But I've had a nap occasionally. And I use my sleep routine to help me nap. So I have on the music that I play. And then by the way, I hate to go on a plane I have the same music as downloaded to the phone so that if I'm on a plane, I can play it, so I can get some amount of sleep on a plane because I freakin hate sleeping sitting up. But I have this sun set alarm at sunsets on me even for a nap. And then a sunrise I set the sunrise to go and the room just gets brighter in my face. And I wake up and I don't wake up groggy, I wake up like it's time to get I can't even hit snooze. Even when I want to, I sometimes like I don't really need to get up on the via rebel like Brad I'mma snooze this. I can't, every time I try, I'm like, fuck I sneak it up.

Brad Crowell  

We will put a link to this sunset or the sunrise sunset alarm (Lesley: This people should ...) in the show notes because it's it's a really cool device. And when Lesley goes out of town, I will literally sleep on her side of the bed and use this to wake up. It's pretty cool.

Lesley Logan  

It's so cool. I'm obsessed with it. And we stay at the Vidar Hotel. And by the way they had and I was like, (Brad: Yeah) "Oh my God, the hotel has my alarm, my alarm lamp. And that's amazing." So asleep routine is going to help you go to sleep as why I don't even take seven minutes. I take 13 seconds. (Brad: Yeah) I'm like out. (Brad: She's like, out.) And by the way, I'm out he can pull the air pods out of my ear for the podcast. (Brad: Exactly.) And I don't even move. I don't even know what happened. I like don't I didn't even know that I fell asleep when we're talking. So and this comes from someone who slept three hours a night for many, many years. So I I'm not saying this from someone who's always had a good time sleeping. That's not who I am. I never napped as a child. My parents hated it because they are nappers and they're like just sit in your room. So so please please please if you need scientific evidence, check out Huberman podcast on sleep. Check out Arianna Huffington spoke on Sleep.

Brad Crowell  

We'll also link to both of those things in the show notes.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Have a sleep routine. And if anything happens have a sleep routine, it's going to be great. You'll love it, your brain will love you for it and yes to everything Brad said about writing it down and the decisions all that is true. But get away from your screens. But I don't care if your blue light blue blockers on you know I love those. You have to get off screens and out before bed if you want your brain to stop thinking. 

Brad Crowell  

Okay, now let's talk about Joanna Vargas. (Lesley: She's back.) Serial entrepreneur Joanna Vargas has built two brick and mortar Dance and Fitness businesses and multiple event businesses covering dance, running and more. She brings together over 10,000 people every single year at these events that she hosts. Her podcast teaches women how to live fully by asking questions and being curious so they can live longer and make more money. And she is like a Spitfire lover.

Lesley Logan  

She Spitfire. We love her. She's got a great course on Profitable Pilates about filling your classes for life. She's just a rock star like she really, really really is. And also I just had to say, I think this is coming out on her birthday, Happy Birthday, Joanna. We couldn't be at your surprise party because we're in Cambodia. (Brad and Lesley laugsh) So anyways, that just came to me. One thing that I love that came up in a story she shared about dancing should be an invitation for others who was dancing alone, inspiring others. So this has led this event with all these women. (Brad: Yeah) And she was out there ...

Brad Crowell  

... 200 women, (Lesley: and no one was dancing) And there was a DJ kicking ass, and no one was dancing.

Lesley Logan  

And we were descending Chicago, and there was a dance floor with an incredible DJ. By the way, I don't even know why I interview him except for just to like, just because I wanted to be his friends. (Brad: He is fancy. He is good.) We have the same shoe. We love sparkles. (Brad: Oh yeah) But he was amazing DJ. (Brad: It was great.) And, of course, no one was dancing by themselves. And no one's danced by themselves. So everyone's like waiting for the crowd to start. And it starts with someone and but Joanna had no other crowd, she just danced by herself. It turned out because she did that she was having a conversation and then getting a gig out of it. And it's by being herself. So she was an invitation for others to do something that was scary. And then it (Brad: Yeah) ended up becoming an invitation for herself.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, I mean, I think I think the the, have you ever been in a classroom? And someone else asked the question that you have. And you're like, "Oh, I'm so happy that they asked a question. That was my question." But you didn't want to to ask the question. Well, the person who asked the question was giving, they were being the invitation for you to ask that question. And to be honest, ask other questions too, right. And when you be the invitation for other people, you're you're actually showing that you're a leader, you're you're an authority, you are confident there's all these kinds of things that are that people then look at you they also and and what I thought was interesting about this, Joanna talked about the conversation she had with herself. She's like, these people probably think I'm drunk. I'm dancing alone. Right? How am I am I being the awkward girl right now? And she had to have that mental conversation with herself. Like, you know what? It doesn't matter what they think. I'm, I'm here enjoying this music having a good time.

Lesley Logan  

Well, and I think that goes to like, it's a be it till you see it kind of thing. Because she was like, "Okay, I'm going to be out there. I feel like doing this, I'm going to do it. I'm gonna just get an answer here until I feel comfortable to dance out here by myself." And, you know, sometimes ...

Brad Crowell  

That's a character building right there.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, my God and insane, but like, I, we were at a comedy show. And you could tell that, like, someone had to laugh so other people could feel like, as a ... Am I allowed to laugh at that, like, I gonna laugh . And so I think like, being limitation for others is not only character building, but it's also sometimes the thing that so many people just need to see, they need to see that it's okay to do that. (Brad: Yeah) You know, when we were in Chicago, at Pilates on tour, I was teaching this workshop. And at the end, Erika was like, any last words, I'm like, "Yeah, just like, it's okay to do the best you can." You know, like, it's okay to not be perfect at this. It's okay to, to take a guess sometimes and see where it leads you. If the clients gonna come back the next week. And you could just see everyone go. (Brad: Yeah.) Right. Their shoulders dropped. They exhaled. And, and what happened afterwards with the table. Some goes, "That was the best workshop I ever attended. Is the best workout I've ever attended." And it was a great fuck yeah, it was amazing. I'm great. But I also know because I invited people. (Brad: Yes, you are Babe.) Thank you. (Brad: Yes you are.) Thank you. Toot my own horn. But I also know is because in an everything I do, I really tried to like create an invitation for other people to not be perfect and do the best they can. (Brad: Yeah) It's good enough. It's good enough for today. (Brad: I love that.) What do you love?

Brad Crowell  

Great. So she had a whole nother conversation about choices that I wanted to weigh in on because she basically said, you can't make a wrong choice. And she said, making a choice creates awareness. Which I thought was very interesting, because conversely, we think we are typically taught awareness creates the quote unquote, "right choice." Okay, so she's saying, make a choice. And then you're gonna have more options. You'll see the options in front of you, as opposed to where like, weigh all the options and then make a choice. (Lesley: Yeah.) Okay. So so,

Lesley Logan  

I mean, I really do think it comes back to action creates clarity.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, I mean, I think the the idea of the weighing all the options first creates analysis paralysis, can create analysis paralysis, right? If you are, if you have, I mean, think about this, this is like classic sales. Three is enough choices. If you have 10 choices in front of you, it's more likely, statistically more likely you will not make any decision, you will make no choice, then if there are three or less choices, two is even better. One is like, okay, then you either take it or leave it, right. But three, you can like mess around with pricing. And like, there's some psychology there. But but you start to get more than that. And it becomes like, I don't actually know what decision to make, because I can't I'm having a hard time comparing them all to each other. So I don't know, what is the quote unquote, "right choice." And anyway, I thought that was really amazing. Because she her argument is, you cannot make a wrong choice.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Well, I completely agree with that. I think so many people are like what if I make the wrong decision. It's like, everything is happening for you. You have to believe that. And I know you're like what, Lesley there's so much shit happening. It's like, it is happening for you. I was homeless. I totaled my car, the studio that I rented from closed, my job transferred me. And it's the best thing that ever happened. (Brad: Yeah) Best way... And then I'm not I'm not saying that I'm happy that the pandemic happened. I am not saying that at all, because so many people lost their lives. But it was so scary flying back from Cambodia, and knowing that my entire year's income was completely shut down. (Brad: Yeah, it was scary.) Like the old because because even teaching in person was there's so much uncertainty who is going to want to do virtual? And if they don't do virtual, then what do we do? And that was the best thing ever happened to us. So having to, to do that. So I just want to tell you like you can't make a wrong choice. She can't be she's so right about that. Because the choice you make is oftentimes like, it's like this gut instinct of like, you want to do like a little nudge, little nudge, do that thing. And then even if it doesn't get you the results you wanted. It's never the worst case of the best case scenario. We've all we've already talked about that it's usually somewhere in the middle. And it brings clarity around what you need to do next, and it takes away a lot of fear.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, I think and I was thinking about this a lot, because I was I was trying to, like, come up with some kind of an analogy or comparison. And it made me think all the way back to the the I think episode two with Rob Lowe. No, Rob ...

Lesley Logan  

Rob Lowe, we've never interviewed him. But Rob Mack is really amazing. (Brad and Lesley laughs) Rob Lowe if you're listening. (Brad: Yeah. Rob Lowe we have to have you on the pod.) Tell me your be it till you see it story. (Brad: Yeah) Well, he has to apply. (Lesley laughs) (Brad: Yeah, we'll consider you.)

Brad Crowell  

Rob Mack was talking about the staircase. And he said, you pretty much put one step one foot in front of the other here. You know, you might actually see all this staircase, but you still can't get to step 25 until you've gone through step 2 3 4 5. What if you cannot see step 25? What if this is like a video game and you're holding a lantern, and you can't see more than two steps in front of you. You literally don't know what else is happening. And right. So so Joanna's argument here is you still have to take a step, make a decision. When you get one step further, you're going to see oh, what's up there? Maybe there's a fork in the road. Now you have a choice to make left or right. Okay, let's go left. Okay, after you've got left now you have another decision to make.

Lesley Logan  

Is a choose your own adventure, which you know, I love. You know, I love it a chooser adventure.

Brad Crowell  

I love it. And honestly, like when you are putting one foot in front of the other that that stops this analysis paralysis, it allows you to continue to move forward, even if you aren't 100% sure. Here's the other thing. Chances are, you can actually turn back and take the right fork if you need to. (Lesley: Well. And can I just say ...) Not always the case, but more often than not.

Lesley Logan  

Yes. And because we had a couple of Agency members say like, I'm gonna two steps forward one step back, and I hate it. And I'm like, you know, It's not that bad you think who's it for? And then you take a step back and you can look back at like, how did it go? And you can actually decide if you want to take that step forward again, or if you want to go somewhere else.

Brad Crowell  

Well, it creates more awareness, (Lesley: Yeah) which is exactly Joanna's point. (Lesley: Brilliant.) Yeah. All right. So finally, let's talk about those BE IT action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Joanna Vargas? Well, she she said to make the demand of you and then ask the universe. Okay. This is a bit woo for me to be quite frank. But, but I think that, well, the way I'm going to interpret this is to make the demand of you, okay? And it's actually kind of very similar to what we were just talking about. When you make a choice, right, then you can evaluate, okay, so make the demand of you. And then and there's belief here in this like, asking the universe, you know, asking God, asking, you know, (Lesley: source) higher power, (Lesley: Yeah) however it is that you see it. The you have to know that you're moving forward with purpose, okay? And that's where it's like, make make a decision, make a choice, and you're applying that to you.

Lesley Logan  

Well, actually, it's very Pam Grout ish, which is also very law of attraction, which is very Abraham Hicks, which we are very into right now. Morning rampages are the new morning routine. (Brad: Yeah. Awesome.) But um, in Pam Grout's book, she literally says, you have to actually ask for something, you're very specific, which is like making a demand of you. It means it requires you to go, what am I going to ask the universe to show me? And then you have to tell show me, show me it. And then you have to be willing to look for evidence for the universe answering that question. And ... something Scoble Shah, we talked about her a couple episodes ago, but she has that same thing in her book. And on my phone, so I can't tell what it is. But anyways, she's got a great book, go back to a couple episodes, you can tell what is in the comments below. So sorry, I can't remember off the top my head. But anyway, I do. I do think that this is a bit woo, it's also it's also allowing you to go okay, this is the choice I'm going to make. And then I'm going to have the universe participate in this choice, boom. But my biggest takeaway is learning to choose as you go. 

If you are, if you ever study Talk Less Teach More with me. There's a workshop I did on Level Up MVMT, which is Erika Quests website or if you take eLevate, then you will hear me talk about this. You cannot teach, you cannot talk Pilates into a body, you actually cannot, you actually have to choose exercises that will teach the body what it is that you wanted to do. And how you do that. Sometimes you have to trust your gut. And so that is how I'm interpreting this because it's the that is the actual only place that I feel super comfortable in and actually just going I don't want to be told what exercise to put this from, I can actually listen to my gut and my gut will tell me. And here's what is so cool about that. You don't do how you do one thing that you everything. So if I can actually just lean into that. (Brad: Say that one more time.) How you do one thing is how you do everything. How you want your Pilates mat is how you are like, if you judge yourself in a Pilates mat that you're judging yourself all over the place. So what I get to know to be true is when I am teaching Pilates, I do trust my gut. I really do. When I get in the moment, when I get out of my head and I get into the session when I'm teaching someone. I literally am like listening to like what I'm being like these little thoughts in my head, call me to do right. So I know that I can do this in other things I really do. And when I'm in a when I'm in a not a perfectionist state is actually really easy to do that. (Brad: Sure) I do love this question, will it create more or less in my life because I asked myself something similar when I was in Brazil. I wanted to I was told I should go hang gliding (Brad: hang gliding) hang gliding over the to hook a forest, to hook a forest. I think it's what it's called. It's beautiful forest.

Brad Crowell  

Near the statue. Near the very famous statue ... 

Lesley Logan  

Yeah and you go over the river. And by the way, (Brad: Rio), it's a Rio, Rio de Janeiro. And you they don't teach you how to hang glide, just so you know, my guy did. Because I saw he said you see all these people? They're jumping, don't jump that will bring the paraglide down, just run off, run off the end. Like might keep running when those he's like yes, I do. And we land. You're going to keep running and I'm like, Oh my God." But before I did it, I was kind of out of money. And my trip I didn't actually I didn't really have anything on the trip at the first place. But as a flight that I was gonna lose, I had to go. So I was like, will I regret not like when I go home and people ask me how was Rio? What did you do? Will, I regret not hang gliding? Or will I will say no big deal. And I was like I'm gonna I don't have a good enough excuse for not hang gliding. I'm gonna regret this.

Brad Crowell  

I'm not gonna lie. I would love to do that. (Lesley: Oh, we should do that.) Yeah, but my point is, every time you tell the story, I can see the hang gliding And the adventure and excitement and I think that is brilliant that you did that.

Lesley Logan  

It's so fun. Y'all we surfed our way in, like, we like literally rode a wave, but above the air of the inertia of the weight onto the ground. And I had a green smoothie, it was so freakin great. And also, my pilot is the pilot with the number one on his name. And he was hired by the today show to do this. So I like really, I mean, like I had the best experience. But it goes back to this question, will it create more or less in my life? So if you are unsure how to trust your gut right now, just ask yourself that question. And that is like, I don't know what that means. Will I regret it like, well, I look back when I'm 100 years old. Will I be like, "I should have have fuckin' done that."

Brad Crowell  

Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

And you know let us know. I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell  

And, I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan  

Thank you so much for being here today. I am so happy to have you as part of our community. This is incredible. (Brad: Yeah) Happy 150th episode. (Brad: woohooo) Happy birthday Jonna Vargas. And to our retreaters. We're having the best fuckin' time with you. (Brad: Yes) We really are. I want to know how you use these. I want you to tag Joanna, tag the @be_it_pod. Send us a DM with your questions, your comments, your concerns. We actually have a survey on the newsletter we send out every week if you're not getting that newsletter. Well, get the newsletter.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, go to go to lesleylogan.co. You can join the newsletter there.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. And we'll catch on the next episode, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell  

Bye for now.

Lesley Logan  

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing. 

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi. 

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can.

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

An episode all about redefining curiosity. Curiosity, judgement, and awareness is not a positive or negative. It can be neutral, it can be a new way to look at a situation and it can be infinite. Stop limiting your possibilities and begin making demands for yourself. 

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

- How to become the question 

- Redefining judgment to not be neutral. It doesn't have to be a positive or a negative thing. 

- The whole new realm of curiosity. What is curiosity is infinite? 

- Learning to choose as you go 

- Going beyond the answer for unlimited possibilities. 

- Choice creates awareness

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Okay. We're like going sent back to the future, kind of like that. And then when we're going back to the future. I am thrilled. I'm so thrilled. I was recently on our this week's guests podcast, probably earlier this summer, actually. And I was like, "Oh my God, I have to have her back on the pod." Because y'all love her so frickin much like, to this day, I still get people quoting her podcast. She is episode number one numero uno, Joanna Vargas. She's one of the dearest women in my life. She always inspires me, she really like it's like, she's like fuel for like, like the soul like, was it like chicken soup for the soul, she's that she's that? (Lesley laughs) She is. And I wanted to bring her back on because I know that she's like, been changing her business, changing what she's doing. And I think I said this in the podcast, but I'm gonna get a little bit more detailed here. I feel like it's really easy for me to bring guests on, for them to share their story with you and you to go, "Oh, they've made it. Goal achieved. They're it, there exactly... that's it." And I have a guest coming up for you. His name is Alan Jr. Stein, Stein Jr., Alan Stein, Jr. and he said, "You'll never see me in an art museum. I am not going to be a completed work. Like I'm never going to be a finished piece of art. I'm always in process." And so I share that because I brought, I bringing Joanna on because I really do want you to see that we don't, anyone you listen to, anyone you're seeing on social media people that you're aspiring and and being inspired by their not finished pieces of work, they are works in pro... in in progress always or and if they're not, then then they're missing out on the whole point of life I feel like. And so I loved Joanna's vulnerability, her authenticity, how she's willing to share that she is in process. And she is working on something new and working out some new things and just really feeling it out and what does that look like? And I thought it'd be so fun for you to almost get behind the scenes of someone's life. And so I hope this brings you joy, makes you think, makes you ask yourself different questions and allows you to give yourself permission that you are not, you do not have to be perfect, that's boring anyways, and that you to get to be in process, in progress, in practice and whatever other P word that allows you to to grow and be it till you see it. So here's Joanna Vargas.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

All right, Be It babes. I have, I have, well, she's a numero uno. She's number one. Joanna Vargas was episode one of the Be It Till You See It podcast. And first of all, when I mean episode one, I mean, before I start this podcast, I was like, "What friends will say yes to someone who has no listeners? And who will believe in in everything that we're doing here?" And Joanna was, well Joanna is always fiery and always inspiring and truly an incredible friend. And so I was recently on her podcast and I was like, "We have to just have you back on and share your journey of where you are now." Because I think a lot of times we get excited about someone and then we just think, "Oh, they've done it. They've made it." Like they're they're in an art gallery. But we're always evolving, always changing. So Joanna Vargas, welcome back to the Be It pod. Tell everybody what's going on, what's been going on since we last spoke?

Joanna Vargas  

Be It squad, I'm so excited to be here. When, Lesley when you asked me to be on it again. I mean, I'm so blessed and humbled because many times you'll be asked to be on a podcast but when you come back twice is like, oh, yeah. (Lesley: Yeah.) And to be first on yours was so cool. And I still have many of your followers DM me all the time with like questions, because I'm the question girl. So where I am now is a much lighter place than where I was before. I'm not where I would like to be yet, right? I mean, maybe all of us can say that but I'm much better lighter place. And so I'm producing two events right now. And (Lesley: Oh my God.) I got a podcast going on. And I've been teaching a lot more in fitness and really discovering a whole new way to teach fitness so that it doesn't drain and kill me. And you know, it only took 25 years to figure that out. That's where I am now.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Oh, well. Yeah, I that I understand as a, as a teacher as well, I understand that so much. And I think we can even talk about that in a moment. But I, first of all two events, that's, I love it you're like, "I'm in a lighter place. I'm just doing two events and the podcast, and I'm just teaching more." But for those of you who haven't listened to the episode one, you're gonna go back and listen to after this one. Joanna is the question girl, how does it get any better than this? And that's something that like, you've, you've taught me, I have the tattoo, I wonder on my hands, I'm always in wonder because of you. So I'm not getting stuck in the like, what could go wrong? It's like, what what could go right? Like, I wonder what could happen next. And I in my Agency, coaching group, people literally still go, how does it get any better than this? Like after like their wins, after like a thing I say, and it's just so cool that this many years later, I mean, I know you're on the pod last year, but like you've had you in our groups before they still quote that about you. And so, I know like you've made these changes? Are you still the question girl? Are you asking different questions of yourself? Like, what's been going on there?

Joanna Vargas  

I'm still a question girl. And a new thing that I am developing and kind of moving into is actually being the question. So when I learned how to ask questions, I was asking them. Now I know this may sound like, "Okay, what are you talking about Joanna?" But when you're actually being the energy of curiosity, so you be the question all the time without even having to use words, without even having to use a sentence, you actually be the energy of curiosity, more and more and more. And that's where I'm stepping into. Because I'm noticing Lesley, when I asked questions, I'm kind of going through the motions. And it's almost like it's just a sentence with the question mark at the end. And it almost lost its validity because I was doing it so often. Now, they have opened up so much for me. But I still know that when I was asking the question, I was searching for the answer, even though I was saying I'm looking for the awareness, because an answer is limited. And I was still looking for me, so that I can get it right. I still was looking so that it could feel easy in my life. And what I've discovered is that, 'how does it get any better than this', can actually come into your life as complete shit. (Lesley laughs) And you're like, "This is better?" And I've noticed I'm more aware that I am really judgmental on this is good and this is shit. And so when I ask, how does it get better? I'm actually judging that I want it to feel better. And what if the universe, what if God life wants to gift you something so freakin incredible, that you can't even fathom if you were here for lifetimes and lifetimes and lifetimes. If you had a pen and you can write down a million things that you would never ever, ever come up with. But it may show up and look and feel like shit at the beginning maybe shit for 10 years. But it actually is so incredibly amazing. And so I'm releasing the judgment of I'm asking but with a little asterix of but I want it like this.

Lesley Logan  

So I this is what I love. Okay, I there's a couple of things here. Because I think when I first met you and you were doing that, how does it get any better than this? You were 'being it' like, you had that curiosity and that energy and you were exploring it. And I think just like any new thing, right? Like, I can do a new fitness thing. We're like, curious and excited. And we're like sharing our goals. And then it kind of becomes part of the routine. And then it big. It's it's like a relationship. Like when you're first a relationship. It's like hot and heavy and so fun and you can't wait to see them. And you're like, when you kiss them, you're actually thinking about kissing them. And then like, you know, you start thinking, "Oh, I'm kissing you. And I also have to get out the door. And I can't forget that thing over there." Like do you know what I mean? (Joanna: And I gotta do laundry and I'm kissing you.) Yeah, yeah, do you what I mean? And so I think it sounds like you're, you're trying to re romance, like bring back the romance of the curiosity and not putting the aspect like, how does it any better than this? And in my head, I'm sending you universe very specific things that I want. And you're getting back into that curiosity, space. And I think I've been there like I've been like, "Okay, I'm letting the universe like bring me what I want." And like, "But this is what I want. (Joanna: Yes.) And I want it like right now." Yeah.

Joanna Vargas  

It's so, it's such like a whole other different realm. I'm going to call it of judgment because we are taught that judgment means to judge something in not a great light. Like I'm judging you that you're not pretty. Okay. But that's a judgment. But also saying somebody is pretty is a judgment, because all it means is that I am judging from my point of view of this is what I think. And so many times when we ask questions, we're asking it with judgment attached to it, we're asking left, right, it should be duo. And what if it's infinite? Like infinite, infinite, infinite. And I can feel it now, I'm aware of it Lesley, when I'm asking from left or right of, how does it get better, good or bad? As opposed to, how does it get better infinite and genuine curiosity? I was curious before but like, this is a whole new realm of curiosity.

Lesley Logan  

Well, let me think like, what I like about this also is that like, I think a lot of people could pigeonhole themselves. Like, I'm the this person, you're the question, girl. I'm the Be It girl, I like this. And it can make us feel like we can't explore and expand into other things. But there's another realm, as you mentioned, and I want to go back because you mentioned the good or bad, and how does it get any better than this? I mean, sometimes we have to take like it's going to be, it's going to feel like shit to get better. Like, we have to, we have to rip things away to, if you remove things from our life to get to the next thing, like I can think of like people who've had gone through divorce, but now they're with the best person ever. Like, if they hadn't had that then if they hadn't had that bad thing happened to them, they wouldn't be with the person that they're with now, or jobs, like losing a job that you loved, or a thing that you had. And then now you're in this next level, you wouldn't you can't have both. So I think it's, I think you're right. I think it's really easy for us to judge things as good or bad. And it's, and it can just be what it is, and that it's setting us up for the next thing. It's very interesting. There was a, there was a time, and Gretchen Rubin was sharing. I really wish I could remember the whole story, which episode it was, it was years ago, but I can remember myself driving down the street on sunset listening to the story. And the story went like, somebody's kid was supposed to go on a field trip, and they broke their arm. And someone goes, "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. She can't go. That sucks so much." Like, "Does it? How do we know it's bad?" And then, of course, on the camping trip that she missed, there was a car accident, some kids got hurt and like, "Oh, my God, and she's so glad that she wasn't there." It's like, I don't, I don't actually, how do we know that that was better that she wasn't there? Like this, this whole idea that we keep going, "Oh my God, thank goodness... that didn't happen to you." Or "Oh, that sucks that that happened to you." It's like, there's a reason why it's happening and it may not be bad or good. It could actually just be what it is.

Joanna Vargas  

Yeah, like going, I love that that you brought that up, Lesley because that's where I'm playing right now, is I'm training my body. Just like in Pilates, just like in fitness, we train our muscles, and we build them. So right now I'm building the muscle of light or heavy, light or heavy. So I'll ask my body. Let's say for example, I'm between two choices. We always have infinite choice. But what if you have two choices in your business you're like, "Do I go with this vendor? Or do I go with this vendor?" And you can go back and forth with pros and cons and research etc, etc. And what if you just ask, "Alright, truth if I go with this vendor will it create more for my life? Or will it create less for my life." And your body is going to give you like a light or heavy. Okay truth, if I go with this vendor is it going to create my life or not... or create less for my life? Yes, no. Yes, no. So I'm trying to work on just going yes, no. Yes, no. Give me a yes. Give me a no. Give me a yes. Give me a no. Because I'm re training myself and when I was a young girl of when I was taught, you don't know. You have to ask adults for the answer. We know everything for you. And I'm here to tell you, you know, you know, we have so much power for our lives, we know so much. But it's re training ourselves again to know. So I'll just ask, "If I go with this, will it create my future? If I go with them, will it decay my future?" And I'll just get a yes or no. And then what happens Lesley is all hear the little voice of like, "Yeah, but. Yeah, but." And the next question is, "Is that mine?" (Lesley: Mmmm) Different types of questions from the, "How does it get any better than this? Is that mine?" Because most of our thoughts, feelings and emotions they are not ours. We're picking up other people's stuff. All the time. 

Lesley Logan  

You are, you couldn't be more correct on that. And it's because I think like I think even when I I want to change my schedule and Brad's like, "Oh my God." Aren't you worried about your clients, like not liking it. And I said, "No. I need to change my schedule. I can't do this schedule anymore." And I remember him saying that and I remember thinking another time, I need to change something and hit that question came up and it's not him. Like whatever that question was, was someone else's question that came through. Right. But like I remember going, "Oh, that's not mine. I actually don't worry when I changed my schedule." Like, I know that I will show it better if I do the schedule that feels good to me. And I think for people listening might be like, "How do I feel it's my body." I'll, I'll tell you a story and maybe you have a another way. Our friend Kareen Walsh, you know, Kareen. (Joanna: Yeah.) Yeah. So she, y'all, she was one of the episodes I don't remember probably in the tens. But she, I was out with her in Scottsdale, and I was drinking my AG 1. They don't sponsor the show, but I was drinking it. And she's like, "Oh, I've always wanted to try that but I was afraid like, I don't know, if my like how will feel in my body." So I gave her my bottle of of it and she held it and she closed her eyes. And she just let her body like lean into it or away from it. And she's like, "Oh, I think my body will like that." And so, in that moment, I was like, "Oh, that is..." She is listening to her body in that moment. She is feeling what it feels like. And I think a lot of us try to answer the question up here in our head, just like you were saying, and, and to actually be the question, to feel the question to go inward. You're correct. A lot of us have all the answers we need inside of us even if the answer is go ask so and so.

Joanna Vargas  

Yes, yes. Yeah. It's just just like that movie. What is it? When she has the red shoes. What is it? Wi...

Lesley Logan  

Oh, The Wizard of Oz. Yeah.

Joanna Vargas  

At the end of the movie. She says you've always had the you've always, whatever the fairy (Lesley: Yeah.) godmother says, (Lesley: Yeah.) you've always had the answers, you've always known the way

Lesley Logan  

You've always had the way to get home, already.

Joanna Vargas  

... For each and every one of us. You know, I do want to tell a story. I was in Arizona talking about Scottsdale, Lindsey Swartz, shout out to our girl Lindsey. And it was a great event. And I was at the VIP party the night before. And I've been playing with this next question. It's my favorite right now as we speak in real time, and it's universe show me what my reality. What's my reality? Show me my reality. What's my reality? Because right now I have so many thoughts, feelings and emotions coming at me front left, you know all of us that say, "Oh, that little voice that says this." Is that your voice, is that somebody else's voice. It's not your voice. But we are taught that it's our voice. And we're listening to ourselves. So I'm like, "That's not my voice." So where I am right now, Lesley is like, there's so much in my head. I don't even know what's mine anymore. I can't see. It's like, I'm in this hoarder's house and there's just books and crap everywhere. And I'm like, "I can't even see my house right now. So show me what my house is. Show me what my reality is." So I'm at her VIP event. It's Friday, the night before. There's about 200 women there. We're all in our PJs. It's like this PJ girls night out. And I walk in, and I hear a DJ playing music and you know me, I love music. And I'm like, "What?" So I start to walk over to the DJ, and I see this DJ playing music and nobody's dancing. Right. And she's playing like Beyonce, and like Bad Bunny. I mean, just all like the fun jams. And there's about 10 other booths there, you could take photos, you can get your hair curled, you can get your nails done, like all kinds of Pajama party type things ...

Lesley Logan  

So fun. I want to go to that VIP party.

Joanna Vargas  

So fun. And I start dancing. Everybody is in line to do the nails, to do the hair. I start dancing, and I'm all by myself dancing. I get there at 6:30 and the party is for two hours until 8:30. And I'm dancing out there. And then all of a sudden I get that ... feeling you know that like ... Everybody's looking at me. Oh my gosh. Okay, what am I going to keep dancing? Am I going to keep being this weirdo out here all by myself. And the thing is, this DJ was so happy that I was dancing to her music because she's an artist and she's like, "Gosh, finally somebody's I'm here for all of you. But all of you are all out, you know, getting your nails done and things like that." (Lesley: Yeah.) So I kept asking for two hours Lesley, I kept checking in, "Universe show me my reality. Show me my reality. Because right now I want to get off the dance floor because I feel like everybody's looking at me." One out of 200 girls is dancing, right? And I kept getting, Joanna dance. This is your reality. Your reality is you don't care if everybody's looking at you. You don't care if people are videotaping you. That's your reality. Now, when you get embarrassed, if you feel like everybody's looking at you, thinking that you're drunk, like I thought, "Oh my God, everybody's think I'm drunk." Like I'm that drunk girl dancing all night. Right. And I'm like, can I receive the judgment? And I kept getting, yes. So I kept asking, show me my reality. And I kept getting, dance dance. So I danced Lesley, no joke from 6:30 to 8:30. I did not stop once. I was that crazy girl that dance two hours. I was totally sweating. I never went to any other of the booths. Now I'm telling the story because I was so aware that more women wanted to dance. I was aware of it that they wanted to, like they were passing me and going, "Oh my gosh, you look like you having so much fun." And I would grab their hand like, "Come dance with me." And they're like, "No." It wasn't their reality. It's I know, as young children as two three year olds, we're bouncing up in our diapers. It's like, you see little kids and they're on Instagram, little videos, they are on (Lesley: Yeah.) TikTok videos and parents are like, "Oh my God, they're so cute." But something happens because we buy other people's thoughts, feelings and emotions of, "Oh my God, I'm embarrassed. What are people gonna think? I don't know how to dance." Story after story after story. And I kept going through that same story, as I'm on the dance floor. "Oh, my gosh, I'm going to be in so many photos." I mean, all this stuff of these voices. And I'm like, "This is not my reality. Show me my reality." And my reality was not going to get my nails done. My reality was not going to curl my ... I'm like, "I can curl my hair anytime. I have a curling iron. I got my nails done."

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. I'm not gonna curl my hair before I go to bed.

Joanna Vargas  

Yeah. I'm like, "So is this, what is it Joanna? What is it really?" As I'm dancing on, as I'm being the question, the energy of the question, and I just kept getting, keep dancing, keep dancing. I'm like, Okay, keep dancing. Be the invitation for people. And at the end of those two hours, one of the girls that I know, she came up to me, and she was like, she hasn't seen me in a year, two years since the pandemic. She's like, "Joanna, oh, my gosh, I haven't seen you." She's like, "I want you to come and be my host of my event." And it's this Saturday as we speak. So do you see what was created from me dancing like a crazy person? I mean, in this reality, I was the crazy person. But you get what I mean, (Lesley: Yeah.) like you that I was totally sober. I was out there, sweating crazy. But my reality was, "Joanna, keep choosing this, keep choosing this, keep choosing this because something great is out there." And I kept asking, "How does it get better? What else is possible?" Along with all the other questions, and boom, and I know there's something there. I don't know what it is yet. I don't want to make a conclusion, Lesley, like, "Oh, my God, I'm going to I'm doing this event. And this is the rest of my life." I just know something is going to be created. I could feel it, I could get the (Lesley: Yeah.) goosebumps, right from this event. And I'm speaking there this Saturday, and I'm so freaking excited. I'm going to be on the mic hosting a large entrepreneur event from (Lesley: It's insane.) a question that I kept asking. So this is what can be created. Now Lesley, if I would have written down a million gazillion trillion possibilities that could have happened, I would have never written down, I'm going to be hosting an event from ...

Lesley Logan  

Right, right. No. And so I love this, because I think a lot of people like okay, I just need to meet this person. And then they'll invite me to this area. I network with this person and it's like, you, you were at a networking event. So yes, you do need to be put in the room. But you don't actually have to, like, "What am I going to say? How do I get them to do this?" You just have to be yourself, you have to be in, you have to listen to what your what you're being called to do. And it might be in your instance, it was to dance the whole time and just have a really good time being yourself. And for others, it could be like literally just introducing yourself to the person that you're so scared to say hi to, like, just say hi to them. And like, you know, but listening to your body. And I think that's really cool that you just kept checking in with yourself. I don't think people know how to do that as often. I think it's very it was is it when you started doing this? Was it really comfortable to ask yourself these questions? Or was it like uncomfortable like, "This is weird, I'm talking to myself a lot."

Joanna Vargas  

It was really uncomfortable because this is a new tool that I'm using is, universal, show me my reality. So this is the first time that I actually was that tool for two hours straight. I've been using it like here and there. I have an alarm that goes up on my phone to kind of remind myself, but this is the first time and I totally know what you're saying, Lesley, because I'm not saying that everybody needs to dance. What I'm saying is to check in, "What's my reality?" Maybe your reality is getting your hair done, when you wouldn't normally get your hair done. Or maybe your reality is leaving earlier. Maybe your reality is talking to the person next to you, you know, and so I also use that tool because I went early to the event, and I didn't know anybody. And I could feel that I was shrinking Lesley, like standing in the corner. Like I don't know anybody. And I kept asking, show me my reality. And what I got Lesley was, "walk up to these girls". Okay, so I walked up to three girls talking, and I would just insert myself in the conversation. That's not highly like me. But it is though. It is me. It is my reality.

Lesley Logan  

... feels like you though, that feels like the Joanna I know. But I understand, well, I understand after a couple of years of not being around people, a couple of years of not doing the things that you normally do. It's not like, and also in a lot of things we change, especially in the last couple of years. I've changed a lot of ways and I also didn't change in a lot of ways. But I can see how like outside of that consistent environment of going up to people. And then finally going like, "Is this what I do? I do do this. Oh, I did ..." Like you know what I mean? And then you just didn't and you're like, this is not me. You're like actually this is me because this feels really good while I'm doing this right now.

Joanna Vargas  

Yeah. Actually, this is me, but I was going into the other thoughts I've heard the, "Oh, you don't know them. They're already talking. It's going to be rude to jump in." Like all that stuff in my head. I'm like, I just inserted myself like a five year old on a playground in kindergarten, (Lesley: Yeah.) "Hi, do you want to be my friend?" It was just like that. And (Lesley: Yeah.) I walked up and I was like, "Oh, I'm gonna get a drink. Does anybody want to go with me?" And again, I probably would have just talked and see if they were going to ask me to go for a drink. But for me to be the ins... that's not my default, so to speak, I'll do it. But ... (Lesley: Yeah.) my default, and but I kept checking in and one of the girls was like, "Yeah, let's go get a drink." So went over there had a drink with her. But what was created, it just kept going from A, B, C, and it just kept going, going from probably, I pro... what I wanted to do what felt comfortable Lesley was to sit on one of the couches there at the hotel and check my phone, that felt comfortable. I had to check my email, I gotta check. You know, I couldn't use that as an excuse, as a as a reason that I am not talking to people.

Lesley Logan  

That is ... and also like, what if you, what like just going back to something where you're like, "That's not really who I am. So I don't know what I normally do." But what if that is who you are you just haven't been doing that?

Joanna Vargas  

Yes. Because that's like, show me my it's like the hoarder house again, I know where I live, I just can't see it right now. I know who I am. I am that person that just walks up to people and "Hi." But I can't see it right now because all the other stuff in my head all the cobwebs of these voices and things and like, "It's not mine. It's not mine. Joanna, there's 200 women in here that all feel nervous. So you're picking up their nervousness, too. It's not yours."

Lesley Logan  

Oh, yeah. No, it also I'm just so grateful that you're here because I think you're in, we're always in process, you know, and it's easy for me to bring on guests and for people to share their strengths. And share what they're going in, like, they sound like they have it all together. And for and then certain compartments, they have it all together and certain compartments. I have most of it together. You know, but I also think that like, when, like, there is a process. So for example, I used to do a morning pep talk on my Instagram stories every morning. Like I probably did it for a year, every morning, rarely missed, just like reminding people something. And then one morning, I was just like, "I just don't want to do it today, ... don't want to do today." And then I was like, "Let's do it tomorrow." And then I like the ... I was just like, "I'm not doing that." And then all of a sudden, I was like, "When was the last time I fucking did that?" Like, I just forgot that. And then I was like, "Oh, I wonder I wonder if I should do that again." And I just was like, "Hey, guys, I haven't done this in a while. I don't really want to do it right now. I'm going to do it a different time. Because I'm just feeling into like what I want my new morning to be." And my new morning is very much asking myself every day like, because I like to get my Pilates every day. I like to get my meditation in at some point every day. And I was trying to always fit it in the morning. And now I'm like, actually, I could probably fit in things drift in different times of the day. So what if I just asked myself this morning, this morning, "Okay, I don't have another meeting till this time. I want to get these things in. I'm gonna do them right now. I'm gonna do this right now." And so I'm like, I'll just check, I'm gonna give him their pep talks a different times a day, and it's gonna be okay. It's gonna be amazing. It's gonna be find and no one has ever said, "You bitch. You used to be my morning pep talk." They didn't say that. But like, the stories we can tell ourselves like, "I have to do it because I've always done it." And it's like, yeah, if people are have a membership that you've, they've paid you for, you should probably keep doing what they paid for, until you can like, exit that out. But other things we can change the morning things that we do, we can change the that we maybe you were the sourdough person in your neighborhood and you're not anymore. And that's, it's okay. And I know we tell ourselves, "Oh my God, I'm a lot of these people down. And this this." Actually, they'll get sourdough from someone else. (Lesley laughs)

Joanna Vargas  

I'm laughing because it's so light. That is so true in my world. I did this morning, 30 day challenge for 10 months, and I was going to do it for one year straight. And it was I really loved those 10 months. They were so much fun. And one day I just the next month started I'm like, "I don't want to do it." It was so much like a five year old kid, like, "I don't want to do soccer anymore, Mom. I don't want to dance." You know, when they come home and they're like, "I'm done." And the mom's like, "What? I just paid for?" And I'm like, "I just don't want to do it. I'm just done." And I might go back to it and I may not. And I'm still there with you, Lesley of the eye, it worked for me at that time. And I'm not saying that I may not go who knows what else is possible, I wonder. But as of right now, I'm choosing as I go kind of like minute by minute. I don't it's (Lesley: Yeah.) not as rigid anymore.

Lesley Logan  

Joanna I love that. And I also think like when was that wrong to not be a five year old whose was like, "Oh, I don't want to do that right now." Like when did we feel like we... I mean I I understand y'all have to go to fucking work and you don't want to go to work. Okay, like we have jobs, okay. But when it comes to certain things, we put a lot of pressure on ourselves around, especially like the timeline of things like we'll have a lot of listeners who like trying to put something together. There's a lot of pressure around, launching it, getting it going, getting it out there. And it's like, yeah, you got to make some money. So we got to figure this out. But it's okay if you're like, you know, this was a goal of mine and I don't want to do it anymore.

Joanna Vargas  

Yeah, I do want to tap on something that has changed my life. And it's the term, choice creates awareness. And what we were taught that awareness creates choice. So I'm gonna explain it this way. Kids make a choice, then they discover that they may or may not like it, and that they have awareness. Then they go, "Oh, I don't want to do it any more because I did it. Tried it. I don't like it, or I just don't like it anymore right now." But we were taught from adults that it's no awareness creates choice, for example, you're supposed to know that's why you're supposed to research pros and cons everything before. And then once you have the answer, which I've talked about answer or just limited possibilities, then you make a choice. And I'm actually here to say it's actually backwards. It's the way five year olds do it. Make a choice. And the difference also, Lesley is we've misconstrued the word choice with decision. And decision means till death do you part forever and ever. I have to do this morning inspiration and I'm doing on my Instagram forever, kind of that feeling. (Lesley: Yeah.) And that's where we have the, what are you going to major in and high college? Who you going to marry? What do you get? It's like, forever these decisions and choices only good for a small amount of seconds. 

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, like I'm choosing to have lunch today at two o'clock. And like, you know, like, it's and I and I can go oh, can become aware. Actually, I really enjoy lunch at this time. That's fucking amazing. (Joanna: Yeah, you might go ...) or no, never doing that again, that was too late for me.

Joanna Vargas  

You might say, I'm gonna have ... okay, it's 1:30. And you might say, I'm gonna have lunch at two o'clock. And once you say out loud, I'm gonna have lunch at two o'clock. That's choice, and then you might, no actually I want to do it at 2:30. And are you willing, though, for the people around you to call you flighty though? But in this reality, it's called flighty, if you change your mind. And I train my employees that work with me, I'm like, look, I run my business on choice and awareness. I don't run it on decisions and conclusions. So if you're a conclusion girl where you need everything, like cement before, this is probably not going to be a great working relationship, because I do in this reality changed my mind a lot. And it's because I make choices than I have more awareness. I make a choice and I have more awareness. I make a choice that I'll have more awareness. From Monday to Friday, the thing looks completely different because I keep having more awareness.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Well, and also, because, first of all, I think what's interesting here, though, is everything we do, we can guesstimate what the outcome is going to be. Right. Like I'm with, I'm like, "Okay, I'm going to, I'm going to make these flashcards and we're going to sell this many," and those are like guesstimations. Because I, you know, have to have some sort of plan, right? And then the cards get made, I put them out there, and I get feedback on those things. If I don't listen to that feedback, if I don't look at how people are talking about them, how they're using them, how they're playing with them. And I only keep selling them the way I had planned. I could either, I could ... I'll most likely miss out on so much possibility. And so is I hate that it's flighty, because it's more to me, like you're reading the room, and you're taking in the information and you're making another choice, taking the information and making another choice. And the reality is, is like none of us are psychic. So you can have a great idea. And if you all if you're like this is the plan I created in cement, and I'm just going to keep going. You could miss out on an amazing journey. And like the actual thing working out like a lot of things I think don't work out because people don't make another choice to change direction or make a left turn over here. Add this thing in over here. Am I making sense? That makes sense?

Joanna Vargas  

Totally makes sense. Because what I'm getting from that is like, I made this choice, it's not working, so now I'm wrong. I made the wrong choice. And you can't make a wrong choice. Like you just can't, I'm here to tell you but you can't make a wrong choice because that goes back to the judgment of "this is wrong, this is right". Because what if making those cards you're asking the questions, "How does it get better yet any better? I wonder what these cards are going to create for people. I wonder what these cards are going to create for my business." And you put the cards out and they're not that great or there's misspellings or whatever. But I wonder by putting those cards out what if something was created from there that doesn't have to be about the cards. What it is something else? What about putting those cards out there Joe Blow sees it, Joe Blow calls you and says I would like to do X Y Z with you that has nothing to do with Pilates. But because these cards were a failure or they're wrong, but it created something because you got the awareness to put these cards out there. (Lesley: Yeah.) And that's where I want to flip it. What if (Lesley: Yeah.) everything is the opposite like the matrix ... (Lesley laughs) the cards. You know

Lesley Logan  

Oh, my God you're speaking Brad's ... language now. Yeah, I I'm really I'm really intrigued by this. And I think, I think every single person listening to be it till you see it, to have what you want. You can not think like, it's Humble the Poet, we are not concrete, we are constructs. And so we, in order for you to continue to grow, you have to be paying attention like, "Oh, oh, I made this choice. Oh, okay, that's interesting that happened. Okay, I'll make this choice because of that. Okay, I'll just this do this." And so instead of going, "Nope, I said, I was going to do it on this date, it's going to happen," like you do live events. Like, if there is a fire the day before morning, the day before your race, you're not gonna be like, "Well, we said the run was today, everyone paid for today." No, their fucking health is not gonna be able to run today, they're gonna have to run next week when the fire is out. And like everyone just had, that's how we had to all do it during the pandemic. And we somehow got so tired of everything, pivoting all the time that we're like, everything has to happen when it says, everything has to happen when we set because we have to just like, you know what I mean?

Joanna Vargas  

Yeah, oh, because like, I want to talk about business if there's, I think (Lesley: Yeah.) there's a lot of business owners, right that listening ... (Lesley: Yeah.) podcast. I'm going to give this example, I'm producing these events this past summer, and I produced four of them. And they were parties, they were like 90s parties, 80s parties. And it felt very heavy. It didn't feel like it was the right time yet to make the the itinerary for the event. Now my team's like, "Joanna, the events this Friday. What's the itinerary?" And I'm like, "Just be with me right now because I'm going to make one choice." And I said, "The choice right now is I'm going to call, you know, Greg Smith, and I'm going to let me talk to Greg Smith, and I'll call you back." They're like, "Okay." Because I just needed to make one small choice. So it talked to Greg Smith on the phone, I got more awareness. And then that led me to the next thing, to the next person to call. And then that choice ment, led me to more awareness. And I kept changing the awareness. And even to the day before Lesley, I changed the whole itinerary. And I gotta tell you, that event was the most fun event, everybody that left there was like, "That was the best event ever." And I kept asking, and I kept getting curious. But if I would have stayed with the same itinerary that was on the copy of the Facebook event, from Monday until Friday, I don't think we would have had the same party. And again, (Lesely: Yeah.) it goes back to are you willing to be the person that people are like, "Oh, gosh, Joanna keeps changing her mind." I think that's the biggest question. Are you willing to be that different? Because if (Lesley: Yeah.) you're not, then you're going to stick with that plan. And it might be so much juicier or and then you DM me on Instagram and go, "Joanna, these questions aren't working." And I'm like, "Yeah, but are you really being the question? You're asking the question, but then yet you're still making decisions and not making choice and following the awareness."

Lesley Logan  

Do you remember the magic eight balls? (Joanna: Yeah.) You're like, ask her a question and then like, you were like, you were like telling it what answer to give you. Right. Like you're like, and I went to give you not the answer. And you're like, (Joanna: Yep.) shake it again until you got the answer. And like, that's what I'm hearing you say. And I think the other thing that I'm hearing you say is like, choice is actually just a different word for like, taking action. And action brings clarity, and action is the antidote to fear. And so if you're like, these choice things is confusing. It's like, all she's saying is take one action, and then see what you find out from that action, and then take another step. And then another step. And so instead of trying to, I think what also with decisions, people are trying to plan out all the steps to the journey, they're like trying to make the roadmap to go from here to wherever they're trying to grow in their business or in their life. It's like those girls in college who like wrote down their entire like itinerary of a husband and I was like, "Good luck with that. That list is long." You know, but like before they ever dated it's like you've ever dated, you even know if you like this about someone, you've never even gone on a date. So go on a date and see if you actually like person who you know orders my dinner for me just feel that out first. So I think like the differences like perfection is like, I'm gonna make this decision and it's gonna go this way and you're saying, you're, the way you're being it, the way you're being the question is like, no, I'm gonna I'm gonna work on taking action getting clarity, taking action, getting clarity, and it will it will become what it is because I'm being at right now in the moment. I mean, this can, doesn't get more how's it get better than this? Because this is so be it till you see it.

Joanna Vargas  

How does it get better? Yeah. And you know what, I love that and I'm just, I'm being called to throw this in there because it is action, it is taking action. And there's something about the word choice that rings for me, if it rings true for you, please take it if, if the word action rings true, great. Like, for me the word choice just rings different for me. (Lesley: It's empowering.) Yeah, it's a little different than, like, take action. Now, whatever works for you, please choose it. I like the word choice, like, "Oh, I got choice. I'm gonna make a choice. I'm gonna make a choice." And when I change my diction, that way, something changes. And it helps me know that I know. And so I just wanted to throw that out there.

Lesley Logan  

I also just think you need a new sticker. It's like got choices. You know, like the got milk ... (Joanna: You got a choice.) that choices. (Joanna: Yeah.) Yeah. (Joanna: Yes.) Oh, my gosh, Joanna, this is amazing. We're going to take a brief break and find out how people can find you, follow you, be the question with you.

Joanna Vargas  

Yep, please follow me on Instagram @joannavargasofficial, you can also go to joannavargas.co, .co and I have my own podcast as well. It's called The Get Up Girl. And I always talk about this kind of stuff if you want different tricks, different tools that you've already heard the other stuff and you're like, "I'm still hitting a wall." That's what that shows for.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, you're y'all have to listen to The Get Up Girl. So fun. Just hit subscribe a lot of pop up on your in your feed just like you like to be a pot. And, and I you always have amazing conversations and unique outlooks. And I think it gives so many, it gives so much permission for people to not have the answer. You know, so yeah. Okay, you know, because you're here from the first, the first episode, bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted action steps, targeted choices, people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us?

Joanna Vargas  

Ah, all right, this is one of my faves. Make the demand of you and ask the universe. Because many times, Lesley, we get it backwards. We make the demand of the universe. And then we ask ourselves, and that's I know, that's also taking action, make the demand of yourself. There's this like energetic shift when you make the demand, like, I'm going to make the demand of Joanna and make a choice. And then ask life universe. And when that happens, they work together. And things are able to be created in your life. So if you want to be it, make the demand of you. And that's a whole other show right there. Because we could talk about that for a while. But if that rings true for you throw that on your phone as a reminder and say, "I make the demand of me today and choose for me."

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, yeah, it's another way to prioritize ourselves first. Yeah. I love that. I love you so much. Thank you for being here. Everyone, how are you going to use what Joanna shared with in your life? How are you, how are you going to make choices? How are you going to get more clarity? How are you going to be the person who's willing to change their mind? I want to know, Joanna's gonna want to know. Make sure you tag Joanna, tag the @be_it_pod. Share this with a friend who is maybe stuck in a lot of decisions and and choices. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Joanna Vargas  

Thank you.

Lesley Logan  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day! 

 'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'. 

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.  

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can.  

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Working for yourself is difficult. Working from home is difficult. Finally starting that big idea is difficult. Brad and LL discuss creating workday boundaries, giving yourself permission to be off, and using the Pomodoro Method for increased productivity.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How to switch off from "business thinking" after hours
• Setting boundaries in your work day 
• Give yourself permission to be off
• The importance of bridging to create change
• The steps of the Pomodoro Method

Episode References/Links:

• Learn about the Pomodoro Method!
• Get on the waitlist for retreats

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

Use this link to get your Toe Sox!

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the evolving convo I have with Lindy Nowak in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to interview, feel free to pause this now, go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. And by the way, last time Brad and I did a recap. We realized that we actually kind of like introduce ourselves, or at least I'm only introduced at the very end. (Brad: Oh, yeah.) So hello, I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell  

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan  

And I don't really know how we changed that intro, but um, we'll think about it. (Brad: We will.) We'll consider it.

Brad Crowell  

It'll be and welcome back to the episode. And I'm Brad and I'm sitting across my lovely, Lesley Logan. (Lesley: That's right ...) It maybe will be like that. (Lesley: I don't know.) Y'all can vote. You just tell ... tell us if I should introduce us or if she should introduce ...

Lesley Logan  

Hey, it's my kind, it's kind of like ... We'll think about it. Well, it's it's the thought that counts. (Lesley laughs) Alright. (Brad: Thanks, babe.) So as you are listening to this, we are in Cambodia. We are at our house in Siem Reap Cambodia and hopefully on a water village tour. So we are totally recording this early but we're going to act like as we're happening now.

Brad Crowell  

Happening right now, this second. 

Lesley Logan  

So we're just really super excited for to be in Cambodia, to be honest, like I'm jonesing for this and I have not had to actually make sure that my clothes fit in a check on on like on our carry on only bag in two and a half years. So, it's so also gonna be interesting (Brad: It's been since March 2020) Yeah. I've been ... (Brad: for you) because we'd been road tripping. So I'm like, load up the van. (Brad: Yeah.) But ...

Brad Crowell  

She's like, "I'll just put all my shoes in this other bag." (Lesley: I'm gonna take ...) That's a massive bag.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, but I need all the tennis shoes because I can have them. It's gonna be fine. It's like an old hat. I'll figure it out. It'll feel really good. But if you are like, "I missed this one." You did. You totally missed this retreat. And so you should sign up for the waitlist because we will come one time next year on a retreat. And Brad is looking at that link.

Brad Crowell  

It's actually lesleylogan.co/retreats.

Lesley Logan  

Perfect. So I'm really, really excited about that. And I actually am still kind of coming off of the excitement of our in person business retreat. I just wanted to say a big shout out to some people. Thank you Mai for being an amazing speaker. Thank you Girl Squad for being an amazing photographer. Thank you to the Intelligent Change people who did this five minute journal, because you gave all of our retreaters, a five minute journal. Yeah, they did ... (Brad: Big shout out) big shout out. Also to Bronze Cafe for keeping us full with your amazing, amazing, amazing food, to Main Street Provision. I feel like I'm accepting an award but really I'm keeping (Brad laughs) that one. Saying all these thank yous and I just wanted to say that because we didn't have a chance before the retreat to actually do that, since we didn't have all of the goodness in our hands to shout out to those people. So big, big, big thank you. You did miss out on all the Profitable Pilates retreats if you were not at the two that we had this year. And (Brad: Ang guess what?) we're not having one in 2023 (Brad: True.) We're like making that a firm decision, even though I frickin love it so much. (Brad: And it's so good.) And I may do a 2.0 situation with the people who already came, but it might still have to be in early 2024. And we're ...

Brad Crowell  

And that was probably going to be invite only. (Lesley: It's going to be invite only. Yeah.) So you know, there's a there's an opportunity here to get on the waitlist. Here's the deal. Tell if you are interested in coming to Vegas to do a business retreat. You can tell us by getting on the waitlist for that profitablepilates.com/retreats. Plural. Okay, retreats, plural. That's how we'll know if you're interested in joining retreat with us here in Vegas. And right now we're looking at 2024. (Lesley: Yeah) So you know, it's gonna be a while but that's okay.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, it's I mean okay. And you know what, you can still coach with us? (Brad: Yeah. Totally.) A lot of it's happening live just not in our house over at Agency, which is profitablepilates.com/agency. (Brad: That's right.) Anyways, (Brad: I love it.) we had an audience question to respond to.

Brad Crowell  

We totally did. It was a really great question. And I'm super glad we got this because this is actually something that Lesley and I struggled with, to be honest. (Lesley: Yeah.) How do you switch off from quote, unquote, "business thinking" is the main question and here's a little bit of background. I love being entrepreneurial and my approach to my business. I have my studio and office at home. And at times, I feel like I'm always working. I'm just always working. I'm juggling life at home, with my head occupied in my business most of the time. Does anybody else struggle with this? How do you shut off from your business in the evenings or during family time, or just on a lazy Sunday when your mind won't let you rest?

Lesley Logan  

I mean, this is amazing. It's one of our listeners of one of our agents members, he asked us and so when I gave her tips, I think I list out eight different ideas. (Brad: Wow) And I wrote, yeah, I did. I'll share them with you after you go first. But I will ... I was like, I was like, thinking things. I was like, sometimes I have to literally leave the house like, go shopping. Like I have to get out. I have to get away from everything. And that is when I've had the most laziest Saturdays. It's been when we're not here. And we're just like, doing things that people do in normal life like ... So I'm like, (Brad: Yeah.) "Wow, look how lazy I'm been." (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell  

Well, you've nailed it. Like, there's a couple, like the thing that I noticed, because I've been working from home. Since 2010, and on and off, but like it, that was the first time I ever did it. And the biggest struggle that I had was my, my apartment was small. So I only had one space, and that space was either, I'm working in there, but I'm also hanging out in there. I'm also eating in there. I'm also like, it was where I lived. So you know what ended up happening over time was, I was if I was in that space, my mind was in work mode. And so at night, I couldn't, I was always thinking about work. And when we moved years later, we moved to Vegas, the biggest thing for me was priority having an office, like have to have an office because it allowed me to dedicate a an environment like you were just talking about to when I'm in this room, I'm working, I'm intentionally working, this is not what I'm relaxing. I'm not watching TV in here, I'm not reading a book in here. This is me working. If I'm not in this room, meaning I go into the kitchen, maybe even for lunch, okay, I'm now at the kitchen table, I'm actually enjoying life, I'm watching a thing, or I'm listening to a pod, or I'm eating my lunch or whatever, and I'm not working. And so when you when you associate your work with a space, it will allow you to more easily quote unquote, "change hats." Right? No, you still have to be giving yourself permission. Okay, because ultimately, it's not like, you can't beat yourself up over this, like, "Oh, I'm thinking about work again." But really what it is, is giving yourself permission to, to not work. Okay. And that's the that's the thing, like as an entrepreneur, that's a really hard part.

Lesley Logan  

That's really great permission to not work.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. (Lesley: Boom, right there.) Yeah. And I struggle with that, you know, like, we have a team, I feel obligated to make sure that the business is moving forward, we're always bringing in money, we can meet payroll, all those kinds of things. And when when I'm stressed, if I'm highly stressed, I, I really have a hard time not working. And my, my, my environment, it's even more important for me because, you know, I, it's unhealthy to just work, work, work, work work. And so it's really important to dedicate, focus and stress in one space. And then when I'm out of that, I have to like, actually go, "I'm just going to eat dinner now."

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, so agreed. And it's, you know, it also is hard if you both of you are entrepreneur, so it ... (Brad: Yeah, that's were we struggle.) If you are the only one who's entrepreneurial in your household, that's like actually kind of nice, because you just need to have to sit down with your family and like have a code word like banana. So when you start to work, and it's not a quick note to yourself, because you had an idea, because you will have ideas like that's the hard part, you will have ideas around. Like you'll see a billboard and you'll be off this thing, you'll go to a farmers market, like, "Oh, I love this logo. Oh, I could do this and have an idea." So you can quickly voice memo yourself or send yourself an email or something like that. But then if you kept going, if you start to write a whole blog post around what your idea was, then they show to go whatever the code word has just like snap you back out of it. And that's okay. Like you have to also give yourself it's going to be okay, like you said, not get mad at yourself, if you do start to think about work. The other thing is, is that there are so many apps today, so many apps today that will actually turn things off that you can't have access to. So I would the book is Indistractable by Nir Eyal. And he had a ton a ton of like different services that are out there that can like lock up certain apps on your phone, on your computer. So at certain times, you can't use them. Something that we had my assistant do is come over and get on my phone and literally set up different types of DNDs. So there is an apple it's like the focus mode. Right. So I have the hard Do Not Disturb which somehow Brad still can get through which sometimes you hear on the podcasts. Sorry loves

Brad Crowell  

I'm waking it ... if you're watching on YouTube.

Lesley Logan  

He needs to go on a phone call, my tax ... it, I don't hear that. But I'm the, then we have I have a work one, which allows people on my team who have my phone number to get through to me, but no one else. And then there's like other ones you can have, right? So and those can actually be set to automations. So that you can actually, you don't think about it, the work one will come on at a certain time every day and at a certain time, to sleep on will come on a certain time and in a certain time. So like, you can actually have those in place. A couple other ideas, I actually have this few work apps on my phone as possible, I have to do social media for work. But those all those accounts are in one folder. And I don't have any red dots on any of them. So I'm not tempted to go check Facebook, on a non workday, I only check it when I'm working. (Brad: Yeah) So these are some other things you can do. And then and then I love that we can close the door to our office. I also love like closing my computer, there's certain things you can do this, if I'm no longer working, like maybe you need a sign like one of the girls on Agency that we coz she lived and worked in her same space is that she actually had an open and closed sign. So she flipped the sign open when she walked in because she's open for business. And then she would close it as like a physical thing. So it really is ...

Brad Crowell  

I know you also have like on your actual calendar, end of workday. (Lesley: You did say that.) You literally input in the your workday around 4:30 or 5 o'clock, whatever. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. I have that. I also have no like an app thing that comes up, no appointments. I have, all these things are in place to protect myself from myself.

Brad Crowell  

Right. Totally. And also, like when we take our evening walks. We used to like chit chat about business, the whole walk. And what we realized is we never actually leave time for ourselves to just be together and walk and listen to a pod or just talk or whatever. But as soon as it starts to be a brainstorming session, we try to put a pin in it and be like, "Hey, let's talk about that tomorrow." Because otherwise, you know, we could talk about business until you know next day ...

Lesley Logan  

Well also because not only do we have three businesses but also you coach 145 businesses. So it's like kind of easy to talk about business for anybody anytime but it's true I also bound leave my unless I'm walking the dogs alone. I leave my phone at the house. (Brad: Yeah.) And and that allows only your phone is with us and it's usually paying a podcast that we've decided we both want to listen to and we chitchat about the podcast. (Brad: Yeah.) That's it. So you know it takes practice. We're, it's not a perfect. I'm be real honest. We're not even close. But I do really think the some of it is like giving yourself permission to be off and also being kind to yourself when you're not. And then at whatever you can do to like almost create babysitting things or childproof locks for yourself until it becomes natural for you to just be off on your day off. Yeah, great question. You can send your questions into the @be_it_pod on Instagram. (Brad: Yes.) We love answering them, they can be about anything, they can be about business, they can be about life, dating, dogs. One of ours is snoring in the background. It's cool. 

Brad Crowell  

Okay, now let's talk about Lindy Nowak. Lindy is an entrepreneur that left the New York City career path to begin her own website agency. She knows that each small business deserves a great website that properly meets client's needs, needs and as the founder and leader of upinaday.co. Lindy works to encompass patience and confidence in her business and team. 

Lesley Logan  

I think she's so cool. I really, I really love her drive. I also loved she was so fucking vulnerable and authentic. (Brad: She was.) She was an open book about her struggles, her trials and everything and I love that because that's how we are and I it you cannot be it till you see it if you think that at all anyone is like slaying it overnight. No one is an overnight success. I promise you, I promise you. I dare you to show me someone who literally is an overnight success. What you're showing me is someone who finally got noticed after years of preparation, that meets opportunity period, (Brad: Yeah.) and so I just thought it was really cool.

Brad Crowell  

Years. (Lesley: Yeah.) Years. (Lesley: Year.) And I think that was great because she she had an expectation of you know, putting her services out there and then just like clients are coming woohoo, and you know now she said it's been two and a half years. And now it feels like they're busy and they have consistency and things are, are beginning to go down that path. But, you know, at first it was like, you know, she's got to fight and, you know, scratch and claw for every single client, like, it's because there's a lot of competition and stuff. And ...

Lesley Logan  

And I mean, also like, even the companies, even the coaches, even the businesses that you see out there that are like selling programs out there, not just turning on like, okay, everyone can sign up and it sells out. (Brad: Right) Like even us, we have to all year long be building relationships, be building that pipeline, be (Brad: Yeah) building that thing, so that when we do those things, it mostly fills up. And then we work really hard to get the rest. And so I just I just really love that she was so gonna vul... and share all of that, because so many of you have shared with me where you're at in your journey. (Brad: Sure) And it's important that you hear that even the people that you hear on this podcast, even the people that you see out there putting this beautiful social media together, they're working really hard. (Brad: Yeah.) ... they're working really hard. So anyway, one of the things I love that she said is the concept of bridging to create change in your life. You know, I love a good bridge. (Brad: Oh, yeah.) I love a good bridge, I am a great bridge. As at least what people say in the Pilates communities, like, "You're a great bridge." I am. So she talked to a couple of bullet points are creating a bridge between one project and the next, or one business in the next or between your full time job and the business you want to start. And she was talking about running her marketing thing, and then going into Up in a Day. I have bridged many, many times in (Brad: Yeah.) my life, and even including adding this podcast in, and there had to be a bridge to that. So (Brad: Sure), anytime and you're wanting to put something new into your life, there is going to have to be a bridge of time because you're going to have this ideal dream schedule where that thing exists in it. And then you have your current one. And then it's like what negotiations of your time and money to make room for the thing that I want to be the thing that I'm doing.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, I mean, I think the idea of just simply, you know, quitting one thing and starting the next thing, the next day is not realistic. You know, it just never seems to happen that way. Typically, you have one foot in and one foot out. And then something happens. Usually you have to make the leap, take the leap, right. And you actually have to completely remove yourself from the first situation, usually, because you're stuck on getting a paycheck from somewhere and you fear that you're not going to be able to replace that income when you're starting the new thing, whatever the (Lesley: Yeah) new thing might be. And I mean, I I can attest to that. That was like, literally the reason why I stayed in the shittiest situation where it was so stressful all the time. And it was because I was getting paid well enough that it made me go, I don't know how I'm going to replace this income. So maybe I should stick around. And ultimately, you know, it was very stressful to do that.

Lesley Logan  

Well, we actually just talked about this one of our retreat girls, she has a job that pays her bills. (Brad: Yes.) And she doesn't want to do it. She wants to this other thing. But you know, one of the things that holding her back was health insurance. And I was like, "Can you just research how much health insurance costs? Like have you sat down?" And what if I think one of the suggestion was like, just get like a show up and like a show up job, like you show up, do the job and you fuck off, but you leave.

Brad Crowell  

Well, so so what the suggestion was, and this was brilliant. And I will happily share. This is Melissa Capitano's (Lesley: Amazing idea.) ... recommendation. And she said, she said, Okay, how much do you making it each month? Can you live on less than that? If you can live on less than that for multiple months? Put the rest of that money aside? So like, let's just say you're making 5000 a month. Can you live on three? If you can live on three stash that 2000, right. And she said, give yourself a number of months, until you've been able to put aside six months worth of $3,000. So in that scenario, if you're making five, and you're you're working, you're living on only three, you're saving $2,000 a month. So you would need if you have six months $18,000 set aside so we're actually looking at nine months of a bridge of like of a preparation. Right.

Lesley Logan  

But in the grand scheme of your life, nine months is nothing.

Brad Crowell  

Well, that would give you your six month runway, then hypothetically, you could quit cold your your full time job and start your new thing. (Lesley: Yeah) But you've been planning it for nine months. (Lesley: Yeah) Alternatively, the second suggestion that Melissa had was, what if you did that for only a couple months, put a little bit of money aside and then you left the full time job that's actually ca... capturing all of your brain. Because really, that's what it is. It's like you come home and you're fried because you've been working so hard mentally. You know that by the end of the night you just don't even want to think anymore so you don't have time, you don't have the mental energy to work on your thing. What if you could get a throw away job? Actually, I think this became like part of the conversation at that one.

Yeah, ... Emily for the throw, she called them throw away job, or the, just show up job or the shut it down (Brad: Yeah) job.

And typically, that would be in the service industry where you know, you're not necessarily making the decisions, you're just filling in, you know, so and you're probably not making what you need to make. But it's a, it's a short term income stream that you can keep for three and six months. It's the bridge, right. And that allows you maybe you have that couple $1,000 stashed, so for emergency stuff, but you have some of your income coming in. But really, what's happening is now, instead of working 40 to 60 hours a week, you're only working 40 hours a week at the most, and you're not mentally taxed at the end of the day. When you get out of your job, guess what, you're probably on fire to work on your side project, because you certainly don't want to work in this throwaway job forever, (Lesley: Yeah.) you know, whether whatever it might be. And like I said, typically in service industry, it might not be your your end doll, you know, goal. And every time you go in and work on that, it's going to be very real for you. Like, I don't want to be here forever. I better get my stuff together on my on my project, right. (Lesley: Yeah) So I thought that was a really helpful suggestion.

Lesley Logan  

And I love that she shared it because I because like, her thing is so cool. And they're so cool. And it can be as she tells her story. And this is not a site to her, we do this, everyone does this, you don't want to tell the whole journey and your story. Your story is like, I love this thing and I created this thing. And it's because the the bridge is actually like the middle. I know I'm really fucking loves the middle, like the middle is the middle. And so but I had to ask him like, "Well, did you just turn that off?" And the only thing I was trying to think of like, is there ever a scenario where somebody gets turned off and they only go on to the turn on and that is you get fired and you have a severance package to pay your fucking runway. That is the only time because all my friends who've been fired, didn't actually have the money to go right into their side hustle, they had to get a job (Brad: Yeah) to cover their bills. (Brad: Typically) So so yeah, sounds great. Anyways, what did you love?

Brad Crowell  

Well, what I loved was this idea of the Pomodoro method.

Lesley Logan  

I'm excited to see if you do this actually ... (Brad: So I've never ...) of your alley.

Brad Crowell  

It is not my alley. I've never heard of it before. And it's a productivity method. So what is it? It's a productivity method? What does that actually mean? It's Italian for tomato, I think that's funny. Pomodoro is tomato in Italian. Why would you do the Pomodoro method, it promotes sustained concentration. And it staves off mental fatigue. Okay, so if you are like me, you have far too much to do in one day, and you get burned out, and then you just stop. Right? So this method will help you sustain your concentration level and stave off mental fatigue. Who is it for? And I did a whole bunch of reading on this. (Lesley: And I'm seeing that.) I created a whole list on this. So who is it for? It's for people who find that small things derail your entire workday. Here's a great example of a small thing that derails your workday. You are working, working, working and notification comes along, it's a text message, bam, you're now no longer working. You're now on this text message. It is also for, like, email coming in or anything. If you're in a work environment, and people can interrupt you, that is the most incredibly distracting thing. Okay, second, if you feel like you're slogging through a project way past, when your brain is firing, well, then this Pomodoro method could be for you. Meaning if you're like, "Oh, my God, I have to write a 50 page paper so that I can get my master's degree. And I've been staring at a blank screen. And I just can't think." Right. Maybe you could use the Pomodoro method.

Lesley Logan  

Amy Ledin's kids use it there, they're homeschool. And she taught them the Pomodoro method. They all, she also taught them how to read like Jim Kwik does. And so (Brad: Crazy. I love that.) oh, it's so cool. But they get all their homework done. And they're not taxing them. They they're not cranky, and they love it. They're like they set a little timer up that it's so fun. It's really it's really easy to do once you know all the ways to do it.

Brad Crowell  

So that rolls right into the next, "Who is this for?" If you if you have lots of open ended work that could take an unlimited amount of time. For example, studying for an exam, making social media posts, writing blog posts, for me, it's checking my damn email, it just seems like it never ends. You know, like, if you have lots of open ended work that could take an unlimited amount of time. This could be for you, right? It's not like, okay, I have to load the laundry, there's a start and a stop. Now, there's like those ongoing projects, you could use this method. If you're like me, and I already said this and you have 50 things to do and you're pretty sure you're gonna get them all done in a day. But in reality, you never actually get any of that done. You get like three things done ... I always think I can get done more than I actually get done. Maybe this method will work for you. Lastly, notice I'm not saying that this method worked for me, maybe (Lesley: we are ...) I'm not avoiding this ...

Lesley Logan  

Here's what I, here's what I want to know this is, I'll hold you to this. Amanda helped me out here. I want Brad to try this out before his next solo episode (Brad laughs) so he can report back if he actually gets his ish done ... Because ...

Brad Crowell  

The gauntlet has been thrown. All right. The other thing is, if you love a good challenge or a game, you can gamify your work by using the Pomodoro method. I thought that was pretty cool. Okay, so the question is, how do you do it? Okay, so there's, there are a series of steps. I wrote down seven of them, you most people write down five, but I thought I'll break it out in a couple more easy steps. Step number one is to turn off all distractions and notifications off. No, nothing can distract you to be 100% (Lesley: hard DND) you have to be 100% able to focus. So nothing flashing on your screen. No phone, no flashing lights. People are not allowed to come into your office. If they do you punch him in the face. I told yeah, it's like hard punch in the face. No, don't do that. Okay ...

Lesley Logan  

My face for the listeners is like, like, this is the least violent person in the world. And he's like, punch them in the face.

Brad Crowell  

Step two, pick one task, okay, now, this is not a project. This is a task. This is a task that you can complete. Okay. And if it's not, if it's that ongoing thing, take a bite sized piece of the ongoing thing. Okay, I'm going to answer 15 emails. Okay. Next is, set a 25 minute timer. 25 minutes, okay. Then start that timer. Step four, focus on that task until your timer is up. Step five, take a five minute break. Step six, start another 25 minute timer. Right. Then a five minute break, then another 25 minute timer, then a five minute break. Okay, so you see the idea here. But (Lesley: That seven. every ... Yeah, the last step is you, you figure out three or four hours of these 30 minute blocks 25 working five minutes off, 25 working five minutes off, three or four hours at the max, then you get up, take a walk 15 minutes or 30 minutes, you actually take a legit break, that could be eating lunch that could be walking on the block that could be making the phone call to your folks that because it's somebody's birthday, whatever those things that like, get your mind back into a different mode where you're not concentrating on work. And then you could do a whole another round two of this, another three or four hour session. And then bam, you've now literally worked an eight hour workday. So that's the Pomodoro method.

Lesley Logan  

I'm so excited to see you do this. I love it.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. I mean, you know, it's for me, I set aside time, I have a lot of meetings. So like, I will like when I have to actually get work done. Like, it will have to rearrange my schedule to be like, here's my three hour Pomodoro time of actual work. Don't bother me, no meetings or phone calls.

Lesley Logan  

But also, what if you just like sometimes you just have 25 minutes. So what if you just did the Pomodoro for 25 minutes? (Brad: Totally.) I mean, we use the timer ... the time cubes, we talked about before, but like, you know, I think that I think you should try it. (Brad: Yeah. I ...) That is me kindly asking you.

Brad Crowell  

This is me deciding myself being making the decision (Lesley: Y'all, I'm upholder ...) if I am going to do the Pomodoro method.

Lesley Logan  

If you all know Gretchen Rubin. I'm upholder, he's a rebel. I'm trying really hard not to make him do it because he fucking won't do it. But I'm really hoping that because he loves me so much. He'll try something (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell  

Yes. All of the things ... I'm not very easily guilted. So

Lesley Logan  

He's not. I still get my way. (Brad: I love it.) You're listening to a podcast that was definitely me getting my way.

Brad Crowell  

So that's the Pomodoro method everyone. 

All right. So finally, let's talk about those BE IT action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Lindy Nowak? I'm gonna jump in. So she said right away, or she said actually last, she gave us three things. But one of them was the Pomodoro method. But she had already talked about that. She said, hey, write lists, get it out of your head, start your morning, or at the end of your day, with writing everything out that you need to do for that day or for the next day. So essentially, it needs to be on paper. If you're trying to juggle it in your brain, the list of things you have to do, you will not be able to focus. And I know this because I was like this. I could not focus because I was trying to remember all the stuff. Second I started writing things down and I could see it in front of me. Then I could not I could have I allowed myself not to worry that I was going to miss something because I could see it in front of me. Very, very straightforward. This is not like rocket science. But it's so funny how many of us try to remember our mental checklist in our head, get it out of your head onto paper.

Lesley Logan  

I can't even remember what I did this morning. So I gave up on remembering my task like, but I do love this. I write things out in the morning on my walk. And I rarely check it. But I like to get it out of my head.

Brad Crowell  

Well it's good. Like I said, the bigger picture there is not whether you check it, the bigger picture is there that you are you are setting yourself up to release it. (Lesley: Yeah) You don't have to worry about forgetting it because you wrote it down. (Lesley: Yeah) And that is that that worry. Like it's subconscious. You might not even realize you're worrying about your list. But you are genuinely mentally taxing, it is draining.

Lesley Logan  

Do you know what I think is? It's when you get mad at me for how many tabs, I have open on my phone, like I have all my apps open on my phone. And like, all these apps run in the background, so my phone is always dying, like the battery is always dying. And to the point that my husband doesn't really let me leave the house without actually taking the battery with me or he just I find my phone on a charger. And I didn't put it there. So but when you try to keep your list in your brain, you are literally draining your battery. So ...

Brad Crowell  

That's a great comparison.

Lesley Logan  

I thought so. I think I'm pretty good at this. (Brad: Sounds good. Sounds good.) Thank you. I think I'll keep this job. (Brad: What about you? What about you?) My biggest takeaway is be kind of yourself. Place yellow sticky notes with affirmations right your house. I love this. I love this. I mean, I tell myself amazing things all day long. As we all know, but but if you are not so good at that, which I didn't used to be one of the things I had done was actually set reminders on my phone to go off at random times of the day. And so sometimes things happen daily, sometimes things happened, like randomly on the week. And it was like we like 3:33 or whatever it's like a random time. And it would be say things that were a positive affirmation. So take a moment to do that. And then also get sticky notes. Brad and I used to leave ourselves, like leave ourselves, leave each other little sticky notes. And there's something really fun about that. We should bring that back.

Brad Crowell  

But I think so too. I forgot about that.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, we usually leave each notes every day, like on each other's coffee. I think right now I'm a little concerned about the white countertop. So leave me a note somewhere else. But, um, but I would, but literally look up positive affirmations like she said, like, just Google them. And then the ones that resonate with you, write them down. And if you don't like your handwriting, print them out and tape them around your house and random spots. They will surprise you. I know you think, "Oh, I'll see them." No, it'll surprise you all the time. Sometimes I look over my, "Oh I put it right there. It's so fun." So I really love this because y'all our life is already hard enough. You do not have to be harder on yourself (Brad: Yeah) than life already is. So please be kind to yourself. And, I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell  

And, I'm Brad Crowell. 

Lesley Logan  

Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for listening to the Be It podcast. We are so obsessed with you. I can't believe that this is episode 148. (Brad: It's crazy.) That means next episode we talk together 150. We didn't even celebrate that. You can watch this on YouTube, on the YouTube. (Brad: YouTubes) Yeah, you can.

Brad Crowell  

They should. Actually it's all fun.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I got great earrings on today. (Brad: Yeah) So I hope you do. And you can follow us on Instagram at the @be_it_pod. We're also on TikTok and slaying over there, (Brad: Yeah) by the way. (Brad: I love that.) So if you are a TikToker, you can follow us there. Leave your comments, leave your questions. That's how we answer them on the Be It, on the @be_it_pod and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell  

Bye for now. 

Lesley Logan  

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'. 

Brad Crowell  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli. 

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi. 

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can. 

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

An honest conversation with an entrepreneur who has began the journey of launching a web development company. Lindy shares her insight into the process that it takes to officially begin and the important tie between marketing yourself with your business.  

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• The journey through of starting something new 
• How to get your name out there
• Learn how to talk about yourself and your business
• How to teach people to trust your biz or product
• Grace through the evolution
• Defining and using the Pomodoro Method for productivity
• Tips for starting something new 

Episode References/Links:

• Learn about the Pomodoro Method!
• Up in a Day Website
• Up in a Day on IG
• The Power of Broke Book
• Purple Cow, Seth Godin 

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Hey, Be It babe. Okay, I am really excited about this. I did not know today's guests before, she's really like got on a Zoom call, like I really didn't and that's pretty rare for me, usually I have some relationship to them or through somebody else. And so I was like nervous, like a first date nervous. And I fell in love with this person. She is really incredible. And what I'm excited for you to hear her name is Lindy Nowak, she started Up in a Day. And I'm excited for you to hear is that first of all, she is vulnerable as fuck and like tells you, she's really just telling you her story. And I think that we all need to know what the behind the scenes. I know that social media makes everything look beautiful and pretty and perfect. And the reality is it that's that's what sells on social media. And also, I think I've said to you before, in another interview, when you're in the ish of it, it's pretty hard to make a post about that. You're like, "I'm busy trying to like spin all the plates. So I don't have time to make a post until I'm in celebration mode." But what I love that and Lindy, Lindy shares is like, she shares the hard times and she shares like the she shares where she's at right now. And she shared that journey. And she did with so much authenticity and honesty, and I'm just really thrilled. I'm really thrilled. She didn't sugarcoat anything, and not in a way that like it just makes it sound harsh, but just like, you can do this too. You can do this too. And I know it's so, so easy to to see other people and think, "Oh, that's great for them, but it won't happen for me." And I really truly hope that as you listen to Lindy and you listen to her story that you actually go, "Oh, this is so for me and I can totally do this and yes, it's gonna be hard and I'm gonna be kind and gracious to myself." And of course, those BE IT action items, you know, I friggin love them. There's a few of you I already know are going to take these and use them and so I can't wait to see your posts on Instagram. Make sure you tag @upinaday and make sure you tag the @be_it_pod so we can share what you're doing and share what's moving you and help you be it till you see it. Here's Lindy.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

All right, Be It babes. I'm really excited. I have a badass woman for you all to listen to. And I find that when I am working on doing a new project, doing new things I really need examples of people who've done that to like almost be like a spirit animal or a spirit guide, sort of compass because it can feel like you're the only person doing it. So Lindy Nowak, thank you for being here. Can you share everyone with who you are and what you're up to?

Lindy Nowak  

Sure. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here. So I am the founder of a website company called Up in a Day. And we are two years young and I started it because previously I had a Digital Marketing firm. And we're doing a lot of branding a lot of 360 campaigns for big clients. But what was happening is we were getting a lot of entrepreneurs or new businesses coming to us and saying, "Look, I've had this website. I'm not happy with it, we're not found on Google, the messaging is off, or it's half done or I've spent $10,000. And I don't know, I don't even know who built it anymore. And it's so old." And it was really heartbreaking actually. And I just didn't have it in our margins to help these people quickly, because they obviously were coming to us in a panic, they needed a great website fixed or redone and on a budget. So eventually, I was like, "Yeah, there has got to be a better way for these entrepreneurs to get a website their business deserves." And that's how Up in a Day was born. I have always wanted to ...

Lesley Logan  

I think that is really cool. I'm so sorry, I'm interrupting you. Because (Lindy: No, it's okay.) I want to just like, highlight here, it's like, same, like we meet a lot of people who either they spend too much money on the wrong thing so they somebody sells them on, like some $15,000 website that has supposedly, like gonna be optimized for Google. First of all, they should all be optimized for Google, this is not a thing anymore. Like, (Lindy: Yeah.) that's how they're all built. (Lindy and Lesley laughs) They're all (Lindy: I love it.) they're all built like that now. Okay. So like, if you go to Squarespace, it's going to be built for Google ... (Lindy: Exactly.) Right. So, so don't let them put that as a price tag on there. And then also, like, they often don't know how to work the site. So then every time they want to make something different, any changes, and then the person who put the copy in there, it's just like, some standard, like boring words that don't actually resonate with anybody. And then they because they're the I person with the idea. They don't know what they're supposed to do. So then they're screwed, because they just spent their last dollar all their savings have this amazing idea. That is heartbreaking. And I, I understand that.

Lindy Nowak  

Oh, it happens so often. And it is heartbreaking. When I started the company, I was like, "Okay, what are the real real problems that these people are currently having? Like, what have they gone through that we can completely change and fix." So that speed, so they don't have to wait weeks and months? It's getting on Google. So we partner with Squarespace. It's ... and do all their SEO. So all the nuts and bolts are ready to go. And then what happens after it's built out? What if they just want to make like minor adjustments, and they don't know how, and they don't want to wait weeks for further web developer to make it. So another cool thing about Squarespace and why we use it is because we'll send everybody with a video showing them exactly how to make updates, billing all that stuff, and the backend of their site so that they have true ownership of their websites. I just feel like, you know, like in a day, in a day of Instagram, social media in general, we're always scrolling, we're skimming, we're going fast. The things we want Amazon, we want it now. And we want it quick, which is, you know, for better for worse. We're just starting to really become that culture, in society, in Western society where everything is at our fingertips. So yeah, so I guess I interupted.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So people like have, people have to move faster. And it is true. Like, it can be so scary when you're not someone who consider yourself tech savvy, but your business has to be online. And then you have to make these changes. I love that you're, I love what you've created because there is absolutely people who want to just pay someone to do it for them. And that is a different level of person. But when you're brand new at the business, at your business, I personally don't believe in throwing money at a problem because you actually don't know if it solves itself. If the money solved it, like you don't know these things. And there's actually an amazing book called The Power of Broke like, most most companies start off with, like, very little money. So you have to really do your research, you have to really figure out how to listen to people, and then solve that problem. When you when you don't, when you don't have the problem of having no money for your business. You're like, "This is the idea I want to do and I'm just gonna roll with it." So I wonder though, like, what with so you were working for another company and you were doing all this stuff? And they were having these issues and then you started you're own? Was that something that like came easy for you? Was it scary for you to like, start up with something new like, and also how'd you get people to hear that you exist?

Lindy Nowak  

Oh, my gosh. I, okay, let me preface this by saying I had many sleepless nights, but it was so worth it. I actually spent 15 years in corporate, I was working in New York City. And actually the when I then I moved to Miami where I'm at now. And the digital marketing company was like was mine but it was like all referrals. We never had to go reach an audience because that we had big clients from New York City that were referring others to us. So you know, it was like, you know, when I started it, I was like, I thought by starting a website company that was built for millions and millions of people who are struggling for their online for a great online presence, we were just going to get customers coming at us left and right. And we're going to reach everyone's going to know about us. And it's going to be amazing where I'm going to make so much money. And it's going to be so fulfilling. Oh, you I may, I remember the first month I started it first, it took six months just to develop the business model. And the processes because the whole point was like to make my life easy as well, like very turnkey, very solution oriented, very streamline. And to have it very transactional, so that was a lot of work. So that's where the sleepless nights came in.

Lesley Logan  

Six months. I want to just like that, like six months, y'all, I think it's really easy even if you just tuned in the beginning, you're like, "Oh, she went from that to this. And now she's got this great thing." Six months just to get it to where the processes would allow you to actually help the people who wanted to help and the number of people you wanted to help, and a price point they could afford, but also at a price point that would allow you to have a business, not a charity, which is really hard to do. And yes, they don't just come rolling in even if you've amazing SEO, they don't come rolling in because the Field of Dreams will told us a lie in the 80s. Like, if you build it, they don't come you have to build it and then talk about it all the freakin time to the right people.

Lindy Nowak  

Oh my gosh, that is one of I remember I was in, I was lucky enough that one of my good friends started her own PR firm. And so we get (Lesley: Oh, my God. Amazing.) to trade oh, I got so lucky. So anyway, she got me this really great interview on medium.com. And that was one of the things that I I said is like, you know, when you are starting a company, it's all about getting out of your comfort zone and talking about what you're doing to everybody. And I wasn't like I was very much an introvert at the time, I even had to have a coach that taught me how to talk about the business, to be confident, to to be short and concise about exactly what we offer and who it's for. Because as a business owner, we're always kind of like blob like around. Like, we don't get to the point of exactly what we're offering and the solution we're offering. It's always like, and then we do this and then we do that. No, no, no. So ...

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, people are like, I got so many words. And I didn't hear my name in there. And I didn't hear my problem. So (Lindy: Right.) I'm not even listening anymore.

Lindy Nowak  

Yeah, yeah exactly. And I had to learn how to talk about myself, as a woman, business owner, as an entrepreneur, but really talk about the business and what's going on, because it's all about exposure. And I didn't start up in a day with like a ton of savings or anything like I was just still on my own with a digital marketing firm. And so I was I've been you know, I started as a bootstrapping, if you will. And it's I, the one lesson I learned, one of the many lessons I learned is that you can't just like go all in with high expectation of sales. It's actually a slow game, especially when it's a service industry. And you have a company that even though you are very unique in your niche, and you offer something that nobody else does, that there are million other web agencies out there that are also vying for customer attention. And so it is a long game, and you just have to be patient, but you have to be confident and know your worth. Know that if you're going to succeed, that you have to be patient with yourself and be kind to yourself. I had to learn the hard way with that, too, when I was mentioning that had sleepless nights, because I put so much pressure on myself to like, perform and to have this million dollar company. But even then we're not even there yet. And ...

Lesley Logan  

Well, and also like I think we look at businesses, even women owned businesses that are being you know, getting getting more and more attention. And we like, "Oh my God, these multimillion dollar business, these women built these things." And then you find out like I was listening to another podcast about some water, some type of water. And the host was like, "Oh my God, I love your water ..." Like it's like one I don't know, it, like made seven figures and the woman's like, "Yeah, it's just like, so when did you start?" She's like, "10 years ago." 10 years ago. And yes, she's getting a lot of press now and yes, people are talking about it. And yes, we all know about it now but we didn't know about it for the nine years and six months before that, you know, like and I think it's easy to see these people go, "Okay, they did it. I should be able to do it." And yes, but you have like you said I love that. Be kind and patient with yourself. Because what we don't know is how long were they doing it before we heard about it? How many how many sleepless nights did they have? And you know, I think it's I love that you said and I think this is really key especially in service based industries, I even think product based industries, because the your expectations to the sales, you think I definitely did this every time the very beginnings of our businesses, we put something up on the website, and I was like, we're gonna get so many people to do this. And I was like, put so much pressure on myself and my husband and like our web person, get it up, we're gonna get it up, it's gonna make some money, we need money right now. And then like, the email would go out and like not know nothing ... And it's like, because I'm reading, Seth Godin is Purple Cow book again. And it's, again, a really great reminder. And he's like, "Yeah, because you have to hit the right people whose problem it solves at the exact time. They're looking for that problems solve."

Lindy Nowak  

Just like us. I also that took a while for me to learn to I'm like, "Oh, yeah, not everybody knows that they need a website, and not everybody's in the market for a website." (Lesley: Mm-hmm. Yeah.) Actually, you know, I came up with a little strategy about that, or how to get around that I don't know if it will help you or your listeners. Offering I, obviously, a lot of people do this, but offering something for free. So one of the, you know, it's kind of like marketing channel for us now. So we offer a free website review. And it allows us to not only give back to people who you know, need help with their website, maybe they have their own designer or developer, or they did on their own. But also, like, at some point, you know, they're like, "Oh, my gosh, she's right like, look at all the like, the marketing, you know, tips and tricks that she's wanting us to do and shit that she suggested." And then eventually, they're like, "Oh, my gosh, just forget it, can you just get on a call with us and do it for us." So it's actually like, I, that's been a really good thing for us, because it's actually fulfilling, (Lesley: Yeah.) outside of, you know, designing great websites for the business owners and having them be so happy and relieved. But also like, just, you know, it's almost like pro bono work with a little bit of give at the end, like ROI.

Lesley Logan  

I think what I love about that is and you know, everyone, you can try to see yourself in this in this situation that she's saying, it's like, you're basically showing your expertise to someone because it's, this is very hard, like, I'm a Pilates instructor and like, of course, I would love someone to come in and just buy my ten pack or buy my annual membership. But if they haven't actually taken a class with me, or they actually haven't seen that I know what I'm talking about, or that I can solve their problem, they're probably not likely to drop that kind of money. Like, it's just just the truth. You know, like, I worked in retail, and even it was the random day when someone walk in and go that purse. That's the purse, (Lindy: Right.) I'm buying. And typically, they already looked at that purse. And I just happen to be standing there the moment that like, "That purse." Right. So so but you're basically saying, like, you're taking part of your expertise, you're making it available for free, even though it's highly valuable for them to see a) they have a problem. And b) you know how to solve that problem. And then it allows them to build trust with you before they're forking over their money, because nowadays, it's not that people don't have money. I mean, even though where people are thinking the economy, the recession, the truth is that actually people have money, more people are working and have ever worked before. It's just that they're like, before I give you this money, how do I know that you're not going to run away with my money?

Lindy Nowak  

Yes, exactly. Especially when you're buying stuff online. It's like, it's a service. Right? (Lesley: Yeah. Yeah.) You question. (Lesley: Yeah.) A lot of our customers come to us with cold feet already, because they have a website that they're unhappy with, for whatever reason. And they with that being said, they had bad experience. And it's, I'm actually acting as the onboarding salesperson because I don't, at first I was like, I'm not going to be the face of the brand is just going to be more like SAS products. So I don't have to, like, you know, talk to anyone and because they're just going to buy the websites online, and, and then we're gonna customize it for them. We totally changed that. It's because I learned that people do have cold feet, that they are questioning you, they don't know what they're gonna get. And they don't know where you're from. And so I've had to put myself in the, as the face of the company. And it was really hard for me to do at first, I didn't like putting my face all over social media, never have before and I started doing it. And I got more confident about our offering and myself. And the more people I talk to, like, you and I are talking right now, that's how we, you know, bring customers on. I just, you know, I have trusted myself and our product. So when I talk to people now, you know, after two years of doing this, I can tell them, "You know, I'm not quite sure up in a day is for you. Maybe you don't need to redesign your website like I don't want to see you putting $4,000 behind a brand new website."

Lesley Logan  

Right. Some people think that if I just put money at the problem, then the problem is fix but it's like but that might not be the problem that ...

Lindy Nowak  

Espe... oh my gosh, totally. Especially and you mentioned it earlier. Like if they don't know who their market is, that's one of the questions we always ask because all of our websites are built for their marketing and sales goals. If they don't know who they're going after, it's really difficult for us to, to execute, (Lesley: Yeah.) in a way that works for their business. And we're like a very honest company and very communicative about the scope and what we offer. And ...

Lesley Logan  

It's almost like you need a quiz for those people like you. So (Lindy: Yeah.) in case you want to create something more for yourself, I think a quiz for people might be helpful. But you know, I want to go back to something because you're telling that I hope everyone's hearing this, she's telling this amazing journey. She was like, "This is the idea I have, I'm not going to be the face of it." And then you quickly realize you had to pivot. And I think I know everyone hates up frickin word pivot. But like, let's let me just tell you, that word wasn't invented in 2020. And it ain't going away. Like, very, very rarely is an idea that is successful at the end, the same thing that it started at the beginning, very rarely. Most, everything has to evolve, has to change, has to grow, has to react to what people are saying to them when they do it. Because you're like, "Okay, when we say this, this is what I mean." And then people go, "Oh, are you talking about, you know, my, my iPhone watch?" And you're like, "No, what made you think that. Okay, now I have to change that because that's not actually like a made people think of the wrong thing." And so, you know, I've had to change with a change the boxes on our flashcards. So we had flashcards I had one box, and then quickly realized, "Oh, actually, if we want to get them in stores, we want to get them in places, we have to make them more commercial with and make them look more like this." So to change everything, and it's like, I think we get hung up on. "But I said I was gonna be like this. So it has to be like this." And actually, we we need to be a little bit more malleable. And going back to what you said, the beginning, patience and grace with yourself. Because being malleable means changing what you said you were going to do, and not like your lying, not like you're going back on your promises, but just that you're going, "Oh, people need a face of accompany before they give money, because most likely, the reason they're here is because they gave the wrong person money. And now (Lindy: Yeah.) they're not sure if I can trust someone."

Lindy Nowak  

Also ... also, with that being said, being graceful, right? With grace with yourself. And having that compassion for yourself. It's okay. Let me give you an example. When I had to pivot, I was like, I felt like I was I had failed, like I had lost all these months doing one thing, and that was so much revenue that I that I lost, and I should have been doing this all along. And so now oh my gosh, the thought of having to do all that work to like, you know, change everything, change the website, copy ... It's okay, you have to tell yourself, it's okay, just start with what is the most important thing you need to do right now and then divide up your day your week, and make the change and go slow. And it doesn't happen overnight. But sounds so easy. Now, because I've been through it and it wasn't easy, but you know, to be to be okay with the fact that it's, it's good to evolve and I wouldn't you know, I won't even say pivot or change. I would say evolve. If you (Lesley: Yeah.) change your mindset and the words that you you tell yourself and you are you You know when you're thinking, when you're journaling, like try not to say stuff like, I haven't yet, so it's almost like I have yet to or like negative words like not change not that change is negative but if it's in a negative connotation, use the word evolve because you are evolving every day. You are growing whether you work for yourself, you work for someone else, you don't work, maybe you're you're a stay at home mom that is evolving like everything you're doing day to day is is really amazing. (Lesley: Yeah.) Even if you are home sick and watching TV, you're resting I think that's amazing.

Lesley Logan  

I really love this. I love the idea of like watching that negative words and then like giving them even a reframe to like a sick day is like I'm actually resting and giving my body some rest. Because I think the pressure that goes back to that pressure we put on ourselves especially as women like I really there's so much pressure and it's like yes, like I'm not gonna I'm sitting here and like one of the questions I have for you and you don't have to answer because it is personal I didn't tell you beforehand but like (Lindy: Oh) how the fuck do you afford to grow something when you like your business relies on you... Do you know what I mean? (Lindy: Oh yeah.) Like I think a lot of people listening are like, "Okay ladies, this is really nice. It must be nice for you but like I actually have to make money right away from the thing that I have an idea because I can't ..." Do you know what I mean? Like was did you have your other business as you're starting this? Did you completely pivot? Like, what was the bridge? Because I think that that's information that I knew I needed to know, when I was trying to grow my business.

Lindy Nowak  

That's such a good question. And it's so important to know, because we're going back to like, that seven figure woman who's like on the podcast, right? It's like ... (Lesley and Lindy laughs) Yeah, well, I was, without giving, like, I was definitely under six figures when I started up in a day, I would, you know, because I just had a small digital marketing company that I wasn't really pushing, and I was just kind of comfortable, but not happy. And let's see what did happen. I mean, to be completely honest, I got lucky. I started the company. And the transition was, I was I still had my retainer clients that were paying, I don't know what she was she paying anywhere from, like, 1500 to 2000 a month, that was so helpful. So there's like rent, right? And then I had the one off clients that would come in and out for like, a project fee. And then I would have the retainer that retainer clients, but the kind of ones that like are all like, he's kind of with you, for a long time. And then, but they don't always have a project for you. But the projects are usually big. And then we had one big client, which was not fun, but it was a good chunk of money. But you know money goes fast.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So well (Lindy: And then ...) also because you, you know, you live in like I, I knew also, it depends on where you live, right? You live in a big city, like, even if you said, like, you know, unshot, like low, like under six figure like in a in a big city, that is not enough money. But now I want everyone to hear this. You didn't just completely turn off one business to turn on another business, you had to straddle (Lindy: Yeah.) for a while. And I think that that is really key to hear. Because I think it's really easy for people to like, look at you or I and listen to us and look, listen to other guests I've had, and think, oh, they just did that. And I don't have the time, I need time to do that. And the reality is, unfortunately, when you are trying to start something new, it's not unless you have some sort of trust, or investment for someone, or maybe have support from a person who lives with you, you might likely have to be doing two things at once. And (Lindy: Totally.) that was hard to do. And prioritization of time is really difficult, because I remember I would be working for a corporate company. And they were definitely paying my bills. And then I had that I had this other thing where I can make more in the in less time. But I just need more time to make that more so I could get rid of the thing. And I had to do both for about who I want to say about six months of like, just like, I just have to keep going and putting this away putting this away and doing these things. And so those, you'd be surprised what you can get done in 15 minutes, you're like, "I only have 15 minutes to work on my business today. I'm going to work very hard. What is the thing that moves the needle forward?" So was that was were you bridging for a year, two years, when were you able to do still have that other company work both like, were you able to just go completely up and Up in a Day?

Lindy Nowak  

It was a bridge for four for about, I'd say eight months. So almost a year. (Lesley: Yeah.) And you, the hardest part was actually letting go of my clients because as soon as you let go of those retainer clients, you are off and running, and you have committed yourself to your new company. But I was ready. I remember the first website that I did it because I was like testing it. It was for my CPA. And he had a really terrible website. And he had mentioned it. I'm like, "Oh my gosh, I would you know, can I just redesign that for you? And you give me a review." I did. And it was awesome. And then that's when I gained the confidence to be like, "Okay, we're going now." But yeah, it was a good eight months for sure. And I will say that during the time for me, I remember being like kind of like really anxious, like, I tend to move really fast. Like I'm just, "I want to get it done." And that's how I was I was like, "Why isn't this done yet? Oh my God, why aren't we launching it. Like, this is so annoying. I just want it done. And I just want to have up in a day because I know it's going to be great, but it's taking so long. And there's so much to do on a daily basis. And it's not ready yet and I just wish so bad it could be ready." And I was just like putting on myself that way that's not a good thing to do. Just (Lesley laughs) you definitely want to have a mindset of those Pomodoro moments, if you will, where you're like, "Okay, I'm gonna put 15 minutes straight. And I'm going to get a ton of work done and then we're going to go back to the day job and then I'm going to do it again in two hours and then go back to the day job." That's what, if I could go back that's what I would have done. I also work a million hours.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, can you can you explain the Pomodoro method? Because people I know it, I love it. It's, I need to implement it more. But can you explain that to people might not know it.

Lindy Nowak  

I also need to implement it more. (Lindy and Lesley laughs) I'm not doing it right now. It is a method and it's a work method in which you are structuring your time as time management, provide a system, and you worked, you set a timer for 25 minutes, and you work only on that project, you shut everything off, put your phone away, put your messages with all that stuff, your email, and you only work on that one project for 25 minutes, and then you take a break. And however long that break is, I can't really remember, maybe it's an hour and then you go, and then ...

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I don't remember that, I don't remember that have a break either by now you just do that. And it's like, it's like proven that people get a ton done. They're super (Lindy: Yes.) focused. And like, we don't really actually like, yes, if you are working on you have a regular job, and then you're working on your business, you might have eight to 10 hour days. But the truth is, is that when you implement this method, and we'll we'll find a link to it, y'all put it in the show notes. But Amanda is like, "We will?" Yes, we will, Amanda. Thank you so much, Amanda. But like, but what you would be surprised is if you actually don't just have this open block of time, like, "Okay, I've got six hours on my day off to work on my business." But if you actually like break it off into chunks, you can get more done in less time. And it's really amazing. And, and maybe we'll put that in our BE IT action items will both work on the Pomodoro method implementation a little bit more. Okay, Lindy, what are you excited about right now? Like, what is it that you're working towards right now with your business, with your life? Like what's, what's the next thing to come?

Lindy Nowak  

Oh, my gosh, that's, that's a that's a big question. I guess the answer would be that we are in growth phase, which is super exciting. And that means that we have, what that means is, we have found a marketing channel that is starting to bring in the leads that is working for us that we are not putting a lot of money behind paid advertising, which is amazing. And exposure and getting the word out and beginning to see people ref... in like third party like almost like third removed referrals coming to us. We're being found on Google. When someone searches quick website or website agency quick turnaround like we're showing up and where it's fun to see that exposure. Because remember, I mentioned that I was like pushing it like we're gonna make so, we're gonna get so many customers like that. And it wasn't like that until now. And it's two and a half years. So and now I'm seeing it and that just like gets me so excited. I you know, you can see, here's an analogy you're on, you can see in front of you the hot coals on the bonfire, and they're beating red and they're just ready to catch fire. And we're looking at that red hot coal. I'm getting like goosebumps thinking about it. Because the most rewarding thing about to the most rewarding things. One, what have you watched myself grow as a business owner, and a confident woman which before I was not so much. I was I was a different way. And then the second is like how happy we I see these clients of ours, once they see their website, because it's like the big reveal. And that is so rewarding. It's so cool to see.

Lesley Logan  

Lindy, this is so fun. Okay, we're gonna take a brief pause. I'm so excited for you, by the way, like being in that growth phase. I also love that analogy. Like I'm really just like, I like love that and I understand that. And it's like, it's like the word precipice is one point in my mind, but like, that also feels very scary. Like you're on the edge of falling, but like you're on the edge of soaring and it's so freaking cool. Okay, we're going to take a brief pause and find out where people can find you, follow you, get to work with Up in a Day, and you're BE IT action items.

Okay, Lindy where can people get in touch with you? Stalk you ...

Lindy Nowak  

You can stalk us ... you can stalk us on our Instagram. You can find us on our website. It's upinaday.co.

Lesley Logan  

Great, love that. We'll put all those links below and is your Instagram also Up in a Day? (Lindy: Yes.) Great. That's amazing. Okay, so bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you think?

Lindy Nowak  

I'll give you three. The first one is be kind to yourself. And action item, take your yellow sticky notes and put them all over your bedroom or your bathroom mirror. And do little affirmations about how you love yourself or you are, "I'm rocking this" or whatever it is you can actually Google self affirmations online and like thousands come up and it's amazing. And then the second one is have the Pomodoro method. Try it. (Lesley: Yeah.) Just try and get a little timer and get one of the little tomato timers then you're really doing the Pomodoro method. And try it, just try it out. If you're transitioning into a different career, you're pivoting, or you're or, or, you know, whatever it is try the Pomodoro. It's awesome. And then the third thing is, I would say, you know, outside of the Pomodoro, structure your time by writing lists, even if it's a journal, like start your morning, or at the end of the day, and list out every single thing that you need to do the next day. And then the next morning, either put it on a whiteboard, just like five or six things. And then just keep everything in a list so that you don't feel overwhelmed because if you guys keep it all up in your heads, it gets very overwhelming, and then you aren't focused. So just put it on paper.

Lesley Logan  

I love all of those. I love all of those. I also, I already can see some of our listeners, you know who you are putting those post it notes everywhere. And we are big fans of timers around here, we have the time cube and friggin like my husband and I stop... we used to share an office and now we separated offices because it's just we work very differently. So so that I can hear his time cube go off and my time is going off, (Lindy laughs) and the dogs are just like "What are all the beeping?" Oh Lindy, you were amazing. I'm really grateful for how authentic and vulnerable and just willing to share your journey and what you're doing with your audience. I know that so many of them will definitely need Up In A Day for themselves and for where they're going and what they're being it till they see it in. But also just like hearing your story really does make people feel so seen. Because, yes, that is how growth of business looks like everyone. It just, it just takes the time it's going to take and you have to show up every day and just thank you for sharing all of those truths with us. Everyone, how are you going to use these in your life? So tag @upinaday tag, the @be_it_pod. Screenshot this, send it to a friend who's also trying to build their thing. Let them know like, "Hey, it takes time. Be kind to yourself." And let us all know that we can, we can probably make the world a better place if everyone being kind to themselves. Imagine how they're gonna be nicer to others. So, until next time my loves, Be It Till You See It.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day! 

 'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'. 

Brad Crowell  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.  

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.  

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.  

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can.  

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

The entrepreneurship journey is not a one size fits all. Brad takes us through his experience getting into the entrepreneur space as an employee, leading his own team, and the fears that come with start-up finances. It’s honest, it’s real, and it might just be the conversation you need to know you aren’t alone in your financial fear. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How to deal with the fear of supporting your team
• Dealing with betrayal from the boss
• Journey of resilience 
• Learning from past employment for preparedness 
• Fear is linked to mindset
• Becoming an asset, not an anchor
• Business growth and handling the next biz steps
• The pressure of supporting your team 
• How to refocus the fear 
• Fear-based decisions make reactionary decisions, not proactive decisions

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

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• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

All right, good morning Be It listeners. Welcome back to, I don't have any idea what episode this is actually. But this is gonna be a solo episode from yours truly, Brad. Really excited to sit down and share some thoughts with you and some things that I've been working on in my life. Today, I wanted to talk about fear. And this is very personal for me because as we have grown as a company, something that I have constantly battled is the fear of not being able to support our team. And what I mean by that is, as we've grown, we have been in a position to actually hire a team. And it's been so exciting. And it's been really incredible and amazing to have help, handling, you know, all the things because, as you know, we have a lot of things going on. But in the back of my mind, there's been this, you know, this, this, like, nagging fear, underneath it all of are we going to be able to make sure we can pay everyone, because they're depending on us, right? They're actually literally depending on the work that we're doing to be able to, you know, some of them have families, and, you know, they've lives and bills and life. I mean, I remember what it was like being employed, if my employer didn't pay me, that would have been an incredibly bad day. And in fact, that happened to me a couple of times throughout my journey, in this entrepreneurial space, where I was actually working for an entrepreneur, and the business didn't go well. And I ended up suffering from it because I never got paid. The first time I had a startup company crumble out from underneath me, I was only I was 26, I think, or 25, maybe I think I started working for them when I was 24. And everything kind of really didn't pass, didn't succeed by the time I was 25 26. It was all crumbling at that point. But my belief in the people, my belief in the product as a full blown team member, because that's like my mentality, I prefer to be on a team rather than solo, I was so convinced that we were going to be able to make it work, pull it around, even though especially at that age, I had no understanding of the money of how any of it all worked at all. But I knew we were going to be fine and we weren't. And literally to the point where I actually was the last person showing up in the office of 35 people, no one else was even coming not even the CEO and I showed up to work. And that was like that moment of like, "I need to figure this out. Like I can't believe that I'm here. I'm here. What am I doing here?" Like there's nothing going on in this company. And it was a very real world like wake up moment of, you know, I can't, I can't actually trust, I can't rely on this income stream this job. This isn't going to be the thing that takes me to where I want to go. Right. And, and that was really crushing. That was like, I felt betrayed, I genuinely felt betrayed. And then I was angry that the people who had hired me didn't sit me down and say, "Hey, man, this is failing. You're gonna need to figure out some other employment, you know, figure out another way to make money." No, I had to come up with that on my own when I realized they had bailed. And that was, that was crazy, you know. And then I was like, then I was in like, full freakout mode. I didn't know what to do. I actually did call my parents and be like, "Hey, I can't pay rent tomorrow because my paycheck I don't think it's coming." And, and that was like, really impactful for me, that caused a lot of frustration and anger, actually a lot of anger. Because I put my trust in some people that didn't do well, by me. I ended up having to actually threaten to take some of them to small claims court in order to get paid, you know, just a couple $1,000. It wasn't even like, you know, it wasn't like they would be 50 grand or 100 grand. No, it was just like a couple $1,000. And but I needed that money desperately in order to live, you know, and it took me years to make the decision to go to small claims court. So and that was a whole nother battle that we won't go into here because I had to really get over this idea that I was going to be hurting them or burning relationships, right. From all my friends perspectives they had burnt my relationship with me. But for me, I was thinking, "Oh, well, this is still my network. This is still my people." Anyway, we won't go into that.

 But the the next thing that I had to do was to scramble, I had to figure it out like immediately within one week, and I had gotten three jobs. I had started working for a restaurant, on the far side of Los Angeles. Also, I didn't have a vehicle. So I was literally taking the bus across town, I started working at a school where I was doing admin for the school. And the other, I got another restaurant job up in the valley. So I was working, you know, these, these restaurants were, I don't know, eight or ten miles away from each other, the school was somewhere in the middle, and I lived way off to the side. So my morning, it really was it really as crazy. I actually was, the only choice I had was to get up at like 6 6:30, which is against my nature, by the way I don't, I'm not a morning person, I genuinely like to stay up late, I've always felt like my brain functions better at night. That's been since I was really, really young. So I had to get up really, really early, I had to roll out of bed. And I got into this very interesting routine where I would walk down the, I would walk about a mile down to the train station and on the way I would stop and I would pick up my breakfast at this spot there. And then I would grab a coffee and I would sit on the train and I would take the train into Hollywood, California and I would work at the school. And then after school, I would leave about five o'clock 4:30 5 o'clock, and I would take the bus across town, which was a 45 minute bus ride to go to a restaurant. And then I would leave that restaurant at like 11 o'clock at night and I would take the bus back to my home, I'd get there around midnight, and then I would crash and get up at six and do it again the next day. And then on other nights, I would take the train north up into the valley to a different restaurant, I would walk a mile and a half down the street to get to the restaurant because the train stop wasn't close enough. And then same story, I would usually try to catch a ride back to the train at the end of the shift, or I would walk you know. And anyway, the the point is, you know, going through these experiences, it didn't actually, it's interesting looking back at it now, in the moment, what actually happened was I just told myself, "I'll do it, I'll do whatever I need to do to get it done to figure it out." Right. But what I didn't see was that I was resilient. I was actually built a ton of resentment and anger in me. And it was probably some of the darkest years of my life when I was really scrambling to just make ends meet and just literally make, you know, 1500 bucks a month to pay my rent and eat. And you know, especially living in a big city like Los Angeles, and I got a phone call from some of the people I used to work with, like a year and change later. And they were like, "Hey, Brad, how you doing man? I hope you're amazing." Right. And these guys, like, have plenty of money. And they you know, are very resourceful. I mean, they're also decades older than me at the point at this time. But still, they called me up and I was angry at them. I was so angry, and I challenged them. I said, "Why would you, why would I ever work for you again? You burned me, you burned me, you know, like really, really you fucked me over." Right. And it was like, I was so pissed. And, and they said, "Well, look, man, we really, we really believe in you. We really love, you know, the efforts that you were doing at the company and what you were doing, and we think you'd be an amazing team player. You know, plus, we can pay you." And so I, I was really hesitant again, I had this fear, and I was really hesitant, and I called my dad and I said, "Hey, these guys who are really I'm not sure that I trust them. They're offering me a job." And, you know, he's like, "Well, is it better than what you're doing now?" And I was like, probably because I was you know, I was fried I had been I don't know, it was just more than a year of of scrambling and trying to make ends meet. Right.

And the, you know, I called another friend of mine, who I really trusted and he told me, "Look, you were able to go get those jobs in a weekend. You can go get jobs like that, again, if you need to, you know, maybe this could be a good opportunity for you. And by the way, you know, if you don't trust these guys, then just get the most out of it that you possibly can. So what is a crazy ridiculous number that you feel like you, you know, like it would they would probably turn you down if you told them this number, you know and tell them that's what you need or you're not interested in taking the gig." And so at the time, I was probably bringing in 20 to $25,000 a year. No I was at $25,000 a year or so and you know, but life was a scramble it was tough. And I was like, "I'm going to ask them for $50,000." Right. And I genuinely believed that like, this was an inordinate amount of money, that it was like, they were going to laugh in my face. And they'd be like, "Dude, you're cool. But like, come on, and like, you know, get real." Right. And I said, and not only that, I told them, you know, "Hey, if I'm going to take this job, I have to work from home because I was tired of commuting, or I was tired of being on a bus, I didn't even have a car." Right. And then the third thing I said is, "My laptop is busted. I can't do this job unless you buy me a new laptop that I own. It's mine." Right. And I walked into this meeting, I sat down with these guys, and I told him how awesome I was, and how all these amazing things I've been doing, you know, and how I have basically put my life back together, which is a lie. You know, I put my life back together after our past startup company had crumbled, right? And they sat in this coffee shop with me, and they listened me and said, "Dude, that's so crazy. We didn't know that you were, you know, literally negotiating contracts, and, you know, managing a school and, you know, bringing students in, you know, whatever. It sounds like you're managing a team." And I said, "Well, sort of, you know." And they said, "Great. Well, we want you to manage a team, for the company that we're working for." And the first thing they told me was, "Listen, I know that there's a, there's not a lack of trust, there's a lack of trust here. So just so that you can feel assured, we're not writing your check." And I was like, "Oh, Holy shit, that changes a lot of it for me," because I wasn't putting my trust back in these two guys, I was putting my trust in different people. Now, I didn't know that either. But that animosity that I had, I was able to let go of it. But I still stuck to my guns. And I said, "I won't be able to do this job unless you pay me 50 grand. I work from home and you buy me a laptop." And like without hesitation, they were like, "Yeah, cool, we can make that happen." And I was like, "Oh my God, did I just should I have asked for 60 grand? Should I have asked for 70 grand, like 70 grand." I couldn't even have imagined $70,000 at the time, you know, but I was like, "That was too easy. Why did they, you know, what the hell? Why did they, you know, why did that happen so fast." Right? And it, I was just, again, fear, worried about this. And anyway, it ended up being an amazing experience to work with those two guys. This time around, it was a much different environment than our previous startup company. Even though those two were both decision makers in the past company. In this company, they were also decision makers, they ran the marketing department and I ended up working for them, managing an entire team of bloggers and doing all the social media, and SEO and stuff like that, and, and over the next year, I really had a chance to get to know them. And it was it was a really great experience.

And the you know, ultimately, though, what happened was, there were some other people in the company, namely the founder, and the guy who had put in a lot of money, who, you know, the guy was a shark. And he forced my friends out of the company three days before they actually were going to be vested, which means they were going to be qualified to receive, you know, stock in the company, all the stuff, and he forced them out. And I don't know, all the politics of it. I wasn't involved in those conversations. But you know, from the side view, it really looked shady. And it was pretty clear to me that my role in the company wasn't going to be a long, you know, long for this world. Right? So it started to, I started to think, okay, cool, I need to start increasing, I never let go of my restaurant job, by the way, because again, fear, I didn't actually stop. I didn't cut that because I thought if I need this again, I'm going to keep it. So I kept the really fancy restaurant I was working at working at nights. And I would work on Friday and Saturday nights and just bring in a couple 100 bucks. But it was a lifeline for me. And I knew if I needed to I could go back into the restaurant, I could tell anyone in the restaurant, the staff, I've been working there for a couple years at this point, like, "Hey, any more shifts, if y'all want to take a vacation, I'll cover anything." I don't care, just in case, you know, the rug got pulled out for me at this job. And I had a feeling I just had this feeling like, you know what, they're shifting, they're making a lot of changes in the company. They brought in a new woman to do intense ad analysis and ad spend. And she, you know, used to spend $7 million a year or something, whatever. And, you know, I was like, I could probably figure it out. But like, it wasn't really something I was into. And she sat me down. She's like, "Do you want to do this?" And I was like, "Yeah, sure." And she was like, "That wasn't very convincing." I was like, "Yeah, you know, I don't actually really want to do this. But you know, look, I'm good at this stuff and I'll figure it out." And she basically went back to the boss and said, "He's the wrong guy for me. This is not gonna work." And so they fired me. But, you know, I kind of had a feeling. Right. So I was prepared this time around and I had that job. I had already started to you know, let people know and, and it allowed me to kind of land on my feet. And I was also able to, because of this was like a legit company I was working for and all the things I had been paying into unemployment, so I was able to immediately go apply for unemployment. And just like, you know, it was way less of a hard landing than the last the first time through. But, you know, again, it still gave me fear, I was suddenly making, you know, half as much money again. And, but this time, I decided to make the most of it I, I actually spent most of my time over the next year, working on music, because that was what I had done, gone to Los Angeles to do anyway, so, but I share these stories, because, for me, it's fun to go down memory lane for you, I want you to have an understanding of, you know, this, this fear that now fast forward. You know, years later, I ended up working another job for a really long time. And then I left that company to start my own stuff, right. And I had this fear that I wasn't going to be able to pay my bills. At this point it had been, I don't know, 10 years, since my first ventures, the first story I was telling you, and my life was a little more complicated. You know, I was married at this point, I had bills to pay, I had, you know, like, just life, right. And so I now instead of me, you know, needing 1500 to $2,000 a month, I needed more than that, like by double right, because Los Angeles is expensive, and all the things and and so I was like scrambling to get my fledgling companies off the ground to actually pay me. Right.

And I was so afraid to leave those companies that I'd started and throw my weight behind the what Lesley had started, because I knew how difficult it was to put a financial burden on a new business. And I was worried that if I brought me, you know, I looked at myself as a as an anchor to Lesley's company. I didn't look at my self as an asset to Lesley's company. Right? Again, fear and mindset, right? So I said, well, yeah, okay. But that means her company is going to have to support me, and I know the financial strain that could put on everything. And that's not, you know, I know it can crush a starting company. Right. But I never was looking on the flip side of the coin. I was never looking and saying like, like, I have been through so many different startup companies. I have worn so many roles. I've seen so many things. I've spent all this money from other people and all these other things, you know, marketing, hiring, firing, whatever events, like so much stuff, Dev, I mean, it was just a lot of things. And I wasn't looking at all of that as an asset that I was bringing to Lesley's company. No, instead, I was saying, like, "Man, I'm just going to be an anchor that's going to drag her company down." Right? And this is again, fear, right? And when, when we took our first when I participated in our first coaching program with somebody else, the very first thing that my coach, my one on one coach said to me was, "Dude, you are going to be, you're going to make the money. You are going to make that money. Right. You You have all the skills, all this understanding, all this where with all, you're going to make that money." Right? And, and he was totally right. Not only did we make that money, we made more money, then then I needed just to pay my bills. We were paying Lesley's bills and my bills, right? And then slowly, we started to hire an assistant, and then we're able to pay her, you know, and then we hired a video editor and we were able to pay her. Right. And so it was very exciting to have this belief in myself. I'm like, wow, you know, me coming into the situation isn't an anchor, isn't a negative thing. Me coming in can be a positive thing that I didn't even really know what I was doing in the sense of like, "Here's my plan. Here's my strategy for growth." It wasn't like that. It was just me being willing to do whatever it took, again, that you know, at work ethic that I had fallen into before, applied here, because I felt like at any moment, like we were gonna lose it all. Right. And so I was working so hard, and it didn't matter. I wouldn't, I wouldn't sleep, I would just work and but the company started grow. And we started to suddenly be able to do fun things like Lesley began traveling around the world and speaking at these events, and then we began hosting these retreats and everything and it was really, really an incredible life that we had built for ourselves. Our team was really small still, and we got to travel and do what we loved and, and then all of that came crashing down with COVID. Right. So suddenly, we're making more than enough money for Lesley and for me and our two teammates. And we may have had a third person at that point I'm struggling to remember. But, you know, it was still a really small team and the COVID suddenly made it, we had to switch, we had to change everything, right. And we had to, if we were going to grow, all of a sudden, all these cool ideas that we had been laying the foundation for, they needed to work, they need to actually make money, right. And so in order for us to do that, we needed to hire a team. And so now here we are years later. And now we have a team, we have like a real team, it's like, you know, like, depending on the month, depends on who's specifically working for us. But we have a handful of full time people, and we've got a whole lot of part time people, like we could have 20 different people working for us during the month or more even. Right. So and we now I have this the same creeping fear it's never gone away. Right? And so now it's like, are we going to make sure we're able to pay these people, you know, what they deserve? And I value them, and I'm so grateful that they're working with us. And, you know, the experiences that I had, my worst nightmare would be that they experienced what I had to experience because it was terrible. Right? And so the bigger question is, like, How do you tackle this fear? How do you work on this? How do you get, you know, like, this, you may you may be, you know, I don't know, there's the stories that we're telling ourselves, you know, and if you are a small business owner, or running a studio, and you have a team, and you're worried about, you know, class attendance, like I get it, I totally, totally get that, you know, an unexpected bill comes up or like, you know, something happens in the studio, and you have to fix, I don't know, like, constructions stuff, or something like a water bursts. And like, I don't know, there's so many things that like could go wrong. Right.

And how do you, how do you live life looking on the positive side of things, looking at yourself as an asset, instead of, you know, allowing that fear to creep in and take over. And when I today, what what I want to when I feel that fear, because it still comes and goes, especially every month when we have to do payroll. Right? Or we have to pay our credit card bill, because we put all the the company expenses on a credit card. Right? You know, I get these, like, these moments of this. It's like a dam burst of like, whoa, and me like, Oh, my God, and then it's like, okay. Right. I gotta, I gotta remember, like, we have amazing things working for us, we have amazing, we have an amazing team, I have an amazing partner in Lesley, I have an amazing team who's supporting, you know, we've got a beautiful vision, we have awesome clients, we get to work with amazing people. And we get to impact their life in such a positive way whether that's with the online classes, or with the fitness, business coaching, or even with this podcast, and I have to remind myself, "Hey, things are going in the right direction, and, you know, good things are happening". And I know that if I open my heart to the fear, it will flood in and if I allow that to happen, it can consume me and it will overrun me and then I will then suddenly be in a fear based mindset and I will be making decisions, reactionary decisions, instead of looking, making proactive decisions. I won't be, you know, I will be it just changes your mind so much when you embrace that. And the, the, one of the practical ways, one of the BE IT action items that I can recommend you take because I do this, as I write my fear down. I literally say, "I'm afraid we're not going to be able to meet payroll." Okay, and I look at that, and I go, well, then, you know, maybe maybe the next one is, "I'm afraid that you know, I missing something that is going to make our business fail." Right. Or I'm afraid that you know, whatever the fears are, you know, generally it's it comes down to money. Right? And then when I see it in front of me, then I can right next to it, like, "What do I actually do, what am I doing about the thing?" Right. So if it's, I'm afraid we're not gonna make enough money to meet payroll, then I get to write okay, in to make sure that we are meeting payroll, we created a forecasting system where I can begin to look ahead and say, "Okay, this month is going to be good. This month is gonna be good. This month seems to be low. Let's see where we can make money in this month." Right. So we we started to think proactively and when I have this fear when these when these waves come every once in a while. I look at that, and I go, alright, well, what have I been doing to address that fear? And why is that fear unfounded? Have I been able to meet payroll so far? Yeah. And we've met, we've met it every single month, and it's been amazing, you know, that we've been able to support our team and that they've been able to help us, you know, help you. But it is a, it is something that I, I want you to know that you're not alone with this. Right. It is absolutely something that you, you, like, most people hide it. I hide it. Right. And the reality is that it is there and talking about it is actually refreshing. So if you have someone that you can talk to about these fears, that could be, you know, like, a counselor, or, you know, basically someone that you can talk to you about this, it could be your best friend, it could be your partner, your spouse, it could be a family member. Right. But by talking about it, that helps by writing these things down, that really helps. And then the reality is, you need to look at yourself, you know, and look at the things that you've been able to come through and where you've been to where you are now and realize that you're still alive. You are you have, you are winning every single day. Right. You're still breathing, life is moving forward, and you're part of it, and it's going to be, it's going to be amazing.

And that has really changed, changed, the way that we look at our company, changed the way that I live my life now. And you know, with Lesley, too, you know, we we do our best to focus on the things that we're doing, that are fighting those fears, instead of focusing on the fear themselves. So I'm going to leave that, leave that with you. And if that is something that you struggle with, or if this resonates with you at all, tell us, you know, tell me, contact us through the @be_it_pod of Instagram account, and just fire off a DM and just say, "Hey, Brad, you know, I, two have fear about, you know, money or management or, you know, buying house." Or whatever it might be. You know, and just share that because I I believe in you and I know that life is crazy. Right? And 'life lives' is what a saying that we've adopted, you know, but there's still an incredible moments to be had in this life that we can dwell on and focus on instead of that fear. So thank you so much for listening to us. And we'll, we'll see you soon. Bye for now.

Lesley Logan  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day! 

 'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'. 

Brad Crowell  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli. 

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing. 

Brad Crowell  

 Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.  

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can. 

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

For some fall is a refresh but for others, the change can feel overwhelming. Wherever you land on the spectrum, Lesley is sharing her best things that are supporting her in “Being It” until she sees it and the routines that are changing the way that she shows up every day. Maybe there is something to add to your fall routine to run into winter confidently. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Fall catch up with Lesley.
• The importance of prioritizing yourself.
• The top books to read for fall 2022.
• Things and products Lesley is loving.
• The value in acting "as if" before you are ready. 

Episode References/Links:

• Podcast survey!
• E-squared Pam Gout
• The Game of LIfe and How to play it - Florence Scovel Shinn
• Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski
• The Source
• Sauna Space, Red light therapy
• Higher Dose, PEMF mat
• Contrology Wunda Chair
• Naboso hand weights

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

Use this link to get your Toe Sox!

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Hey loves, how's it going? It's just me today. It's just me today. So hopefully that's exciting for you. We did solo episodes a little bit earlier in the summer, and we got some great feedback from you guys. So we'll be tossing these in. And every once well, especially when it applies to what kind of timely right now, and that is that this is the, that those last few months of the year and they can feel very, they can feel a little worrying, right? Like it starts to get really busy. I know for me, it's very busy. So at the time I'm recording this, we are getting ready for Agency Mini, by the time you share this, we probably have already finished it. But I'm also before that going to Nashville, coming back doing Mini and going to Chicago, coming back doing something else then going to Cambodia. Oh, I forgot there's new people at my house in between all of that for our business retreat. And then and then it's Thanksgiving, and all of a sudden it's Thanksgiving. And so this is a time of the year that can feel really overwhelming. There's a couple things I want to actually remind you of. You get to do this, like you get to do this. And I really, if you are struggling, if you're feeling overwhelmed, I really want you to reframe a little bit and just go, "I get to do this." Now if you don't want to do what you're doing, that is something to write down. So something I think is really cool about how we feel about things is that they are there, there are signs that you don't want to be doing the thing, or you don't be doing the thing with that person or that time. And you the more you pay attention to these things, the more you make notes, the more you can make conscious decisions. So for example, I actually love to travel, I love to go to Cambodia, there are so many things I love to do about it. So I am this busy season, not at no point am I going, oh my God, I have to do all this stuff, I get to do all this stuff. And I actually plan for all these things to happen when they're happening because this is kind of the time of the year that I really like to do all that. I like to pack it in, I like to make sure that we see all the faces of the people that we love. I really do like to do all of those things. Now, in the summertime, when I like want to be in chill vibes, I am not planning those things. I'm not doing them. In fact, when we did do them this summer, just like as a trial, my body was like, "Why are you doing this? It's summertime, it's summer vibes." So what is cool about journaling, or even just documenting or taking note somewhere about how you feel in your body, about different things as they can give you signs, about what to say yes to and no to in the future. And so there have been people who have been requesting a retreat for us to do in the summertime and we're not doing that. Now, there are a couple reasons I can say I don't do that. And they're very valid, that the weather in Cambodia is not exactly, exactly ideal for doing a retreat. Not only is it hot, but there's monsoons and we can't control them. And it's crazy rain, and I don't want people to fly all the way out there. And then we can't see the temples because the rain is insane. Right. So those are some reasons. And the other big reasons I don't want to. I don't want to I want to use my summers to reflect on the meaning of the year to plan for the fall of the year, to make sure we're all set up to rest, relax, to visit with friends as they come into town. So and those are all things I learned over the last couple of years of testing things. So it's okay that you didn't know about the things that you said yes to that you didn't maybe like the time that they were, the location that they were until you did them. That's okay. You don't have to be a psychic. Most of us are not. And in fact, some people who are aren't. So, so I think it's just really important to be kind to yourself, and acknowledge when things feel really good. Okay, what about that feels really good? What is it that people that you're with? Is the time that it was? Is it how it was planned out? What about that feels really good so that you can a) use those as green lights and green signals to say yes to in the future? What about it, didn't you like so you can use those red flags? And so every time I get asked to speak every time we plan a thing we could to look back at, like what didn't work before, what we liked about it, what people liked about it and then make decisions going on, which is why perfect is boring, which is why that waiting until something's perfect is the wrong thing to do. I wouldn't know 90% of this information until I had gone in there, done a retreat in August, done different things at different times of the year. That said yes to programs that were unorganized, disorganized, you know, that kind of thing. So I wouldn't know that, I wouldn't know what is actually important to me about organization and what isn't had I not experienced it and then felt it in my body. And so all of this is to say if you had a summer or for my southern hemisphere people had a winter where there was things that you loved and things that you didn't love, pay attention to what those things are and then use those things for moving forward. Okay.

So that is kind of kind of how I kind of kind of it is exactly how I try to say yes or no to things and plan things on our calendar. And it's just really important to me. The other way is just really listening to you guys. So those of you who fill out the surveys at beitpod.com/tellme. Thank you, those are really great, when you interact with us in any of our other programs, Agency, OPC, we do a lot of surveys, we love surveys. They really help us figure out how we can be better at things, what things actually matter to you, you can be really easy ladies too. And I say ladies, I know there's a few good men listening, hello. But there's it can be really easy to think we need to add more, do more, give more. And truthfully, sometimes that can be overwhelming. Or they can be really overwhelming for some people. We'd ask them their server like, "Would you like more episodes?" And some people said, "Yes." And other people said, "It's enough." And I'm like, "Great. I'm not going to do dailies, if you don't want that." Now, if you all want that, then let me know. But we truly don't I don't want to overwhelm you without your request. And also your acknowledgement that that's what you want, right? So this is really great. Whether you're in business or not. And maybe you're like Lesely I'm not in business. You can survey with the people around you. You can you can ask questions, you can get feedback from people about yourself, you can even say, "Hey, you know, I'm actually trying to figure out what I want to do for the end of the year. Can you think of a time this summer where you notice that I was a little bit more frantic, frenetic, exhausted? And can you remember time this summer that I was excited, jubilated and joyful feeling at ease?" People around you spend time with you will know, they'll know. They'll remember. And that can be really helpful. Okay, so I say all this because in the last solo episode, I told you, I was being it till I see it. And right now, and I really have been working on that. And I noticed that there's an old story, I'll have to tell myself, which is that I'm too busy. Maybe you know that one, maybe you know that story. And sometimes I, in order to feel like I am in control of things that are uncontrollable, I will do more. So then they're not easy. And, and I'm getting stressed out and, and so that doesn't work. So I've been really working on some mantras and daily meditations, I've actually changed my morning routine a ton, and I'm still tweaking it as we speak. And for someone who loves routine that can be overwhelming, and also can be really exciting. It's really all how you reframe it. So one of the things that I am trying to do is a) work on my sleep. I've actually always had struggle with sleep situations, and stress. So I am someone who just because the childhood that I had I and it wasn't bad. Honestly, it wasn't bad. It just that I, as an oldest child of little kids and we're all born around the same time. I definitely took on a lot of stress around me and tried to fix a lot of things and do over the doer. I'm a doer. And I pride of myself on that actually I'm an, it's one of my strengths, I'm really good at. But a strength can be a weakness if you don't know when to use it and when not to use it. Right. So in these last couple of months, I've been really looking at my morning routine and seeing where parts of it can be switched into the afternoon because I do work from home. And what I could add to my morning that would allow me to set myself up to be in the most abundant receiving ease, ease full mode, strength base mode, just totally in tune like I really want the mornings to feel less like, Oh my God, I have all these things to do." And more like, "Okay, I get to do these things," kind of like how I started this episode. And that's something I share with you because something that I have always struggled with like I'm a very positive person like bright side up kind of person, but equally can get a little down about things especially when things are out of my control.

So then I start to do more and then when does it happen is I'm not in receiving mode, I'm not actually noticing opportunities around me and I'm too busy to be the person I want to be for those I love. So that is not prioritization of self, that is not putting myself first, that is not taking messy action, that is trying to be perfect in some other way. And so the last couple of months I've really been doing that and I started off with adding in my red light therapy to that routine. I also stopped doing my morning Instagram talks, you guys it's not because I don't love doing them. I just was like I really want to take in the surroundings more, I really want to be at ease more. I don't actually want to have to work right now. Right. So that doesn't mean I won't do them anymore. It just means I need to do them later in my morning and I'm working on putting them back in. So as I be it till I see it, what I am doing is catching myself when I say I'm too busy and doing what I would think a non busy person who is confident and positive and abundant and supportive of their business and their team and their dreams would do? So that's the whole premise of the Be It Till You See It Podcast acting as if before you're ready, right? So if I look at, if I think what a woman who runs a massive company, who takes care of herself, what does she do? How is her morning routine? What is that setup? So I did a lot of research on things you can do to make your body sleep better. As I mentioned, I'm working on my sleep. So your sleep for the night starts in the morning before and we can thank Huberman for his podcasts on that. But and there's a bunch of other studies on that. But really, truly, like, I do already wake up pretty early. So I do get the morning light of the day. And so I was like, "Okay, well, that's helping my sleep out. So what else can help my sleep out?" So I've been working on doing those things. So I've been changing my morning routine up to rabbit symbol, what I imagine a woman who runs a company, who prioritize prioritize their self first but do the morning. And that required some changes in my morning because I was really pushing a lot of things into my morning routine, and feeling the sense of urgency that they had to get done, and they weren't of ease. And of course, that's what we're trying to be until we see is that easefulness on this and running this business. And so I have in the last few weeks shifted that morning routine to my workout. Some of them happen a little later. Sometimes they happen in the same time. So every day is actually now different, which is weird for me. But I'm finding a lot of fun in that and flow in that and a little bit of like rebelliousness that I don't always let myself have in that. So that's super cool. I will when we get to my favorite things list off a lot of the things that I'm doing in the morning that you can borrow, we've got affiliate links or links below that you can enjoy. So as I be it till I see it in that what it is challenging me on is watching my responses to things because no longer do the old responses, the quick responses apply, I actually need to take a step back. And so when I say, "Oh, I don't have time." I actually go right now. When does that need to be done and then I look and see when I can get it done. And it's kind of amazing. I used to also think I didn't have time to meditate every day. Wrong. I have since figured out that I can. So watching the stories I tell myself that are keeping me from being it till I see it is something that I am in constant practice with. And I wonder if I always will be. I don't know, jury's out, I'll keep you posted. So hopefully that is helpful for you just like seeing like, not perfect. We're still working on it. Every day is kind of a challenge based on like the old way of thinking and the stories I told myself that made me feel safe and made me feel secure, that made me you know, not go off and do some crazy things. And now those things are actually holding me back and the growth of what I'm trying to do. And like I am on a mission, more bodies doing Pilates, and I cannot do that if I don't think I have time. Because I need to be able to create time so I can tell you how to create time. Right.

So okay, now, some of you always ask us, like, what are some books I'm reading right now. And I am going to let you know, since I talked to Coach Lee, I have been doing my E-Squared book, I'm not doing it as quickly as I did the first time, I'm kind of stopping at different chapters and waiting until I want to do the experiment before I go on to the next chapter. So I it's actually going really cool and it's actually a really good reminder. There are some things that she wrote in there that I want to just like paint on my walls. So E-Squared by Pam Grout, she's still on the list to get on the pod. So if you know her hook a sister up. Okay, um, then I was I had some girls out, you may remember Brad and I the time I had some girls come to visit that I kind of met through friends of friends. And we all like, "Let's do a friend's weekend." And I highly recommend you do that. I know that can sound really scary. And really, it can be even expensive sounding. The truth is you can you can make it whatever it needs to be. But shared experience is really do make a difference in how you feel and who you surround yourself with makes a difference. We have had multiple multiple guests come on, and we have another guest coming up who is going to tell you that it really does make a difference who you invite into your energy, who you invite into your circle and how much time you spend around them. And so it might require some boundaries. So on that girls weekend, they ment... mentioned, Florin Sho... Scholar Shine. Hold on, let's just pull up her book because I just finished it. It's actually really old. Okay, so I listened to it on Audible and I'm going to be super, oh Florence Scovel Shinn, there it is. So, my autocorrect, I got that weird. So I got the complete works on Audible. I don't even think it charged me a credit. And somebody reads it. The words that she uses, like Victrola. And I just imagine people walking around like the old old New York of like, the 1890s As I'm reading it, but the stuff still makes sense. And it does mention God a lot. So you can insert your own word for that there. And she does and occasional spots but I listened to it on a dog walk because I was like, I just need to be around as much positivity as I can. And the first book I will say is the best one of all of them. A great reminder of being very like actually knowing what you need more of, and, and asking for that. And then being aware of that we've talked about that with Dr. Philippe Douyon, where it's like your eyes and ears are seeing what your brain is looking for. So if you're very co... conscious of what it is that you're looking for, you will then look for evidence for that. And there was some really cool stories in that first book. So I really recommend it. The rest of them it was it was good. I think the first one is a good good place to stop. I have Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagos... Nagoski, on my Audible that I'm going to next. It's actually part of the book club that we have for Agency. And I'm really excited about I heard them on Brené Brown, and I've had it on my list for a long time. It is a long book. So it's just been working my way to it. And then I just bought the source that we talked about in Stef Caldwell's episode, there's actually a couple books called The Source. So if you actually look back at Stef's episode, we'll put the link in the show notes. There's a specific the source that we want. But again, it just goes into this. There's science around manifestation. And when you can't just do all the things like we... it is we're telling ourselves a lie if we think that we can control all the parts are going to make anything happen. There are a lot of things, there's always a lot of things going on. In fact, like there's stuff in your personal life that's going on, great and not so great. There's stuff in your professional life that's going on, great and not so great. There's stuff in your health that's going on, great and not so great. Right? It is like a disservice and illusion if you think you can actually control all of those things you can't. So you can do what you can do. And then the next thing you have to do is like think like Hazel Ortega have some miracle goals around it be really specific, and then start looking for evidence for it to be true. So I'm like big on those books, I really think that they're gonna help me as I close up this year. As I plan for what we're gonna do in 2023, it has been an interesting 2022 and just doing a lot of things, testing things, changing things. And so I am trying to spend a lot of time on what do I really want? What are we doing all this for? How do we want to be when we're doing that? That's what I'm working on. So as with those books are going to you'll see there's a theme there. As always, you know, you can ask us any questions, you can DM the pod on Instagram and ask us any questions that you have around business, health, personal goals, and Brad and I will answer them on the recaps. And we want your question. So please do DM us. Okay, now, two of my favorite things. Okay, so I Brad calls me a total consumer. It's true. I am, I I really am and I have a lot of fun trying out new things. I do, I don't do a ton of research but I will oftentimes, like want something, look it up. I say yes to all the cookies, because I'm like, yes, track me down, ratio this to my face, let me know when you're having some Labor Day sale.

You know, I'm like a, I'm a big fan of cookies. And you guys, you can all use cookies and ads to like, help you see the things you want to see. So you can hate them. But like that's how small businesses make money. And also big businesses too. But the other thing is, is like you can actually say yeah, actually, I would love it if you show me more of this, you just click on the ad and then that they'll, make sure you see that more often. So anyways, um, couple of these things gonna talk to you about are things that have been on my list for a while. So first thing, we talked about my red light therapy before, I really love the one that I have. I have it on, I actually bought like a tray for it that's on wheels, it's like a little stand on wheels, so that I can wheel it in front of my meditation chair, and then I can wheel it back into the closet. So I'm super excited about that. First I had to just like out on a thing, and I had to move it, move it back. And you know what, let's just be really honest, people, it's hard, we're not going to do it right. So I had to, I had to go buy a tray on wheels to make it a little easier. But it is one of the best purchases I've made to go along with that. And there is a ton of studies on red light therapy for people, especially in the morning. And so I'm a big fan of that. And I will say that I have sat in front of it even in the evening when I haven't been feeling as my positive self. And I feel better when I'm done being there. So it's great. I'll read a book on that. What like I'll read a book on my meditation chair in front of the lamp, I'll do breathwork in front of the lamp. I read some emails the other day in front of the lamp like I that's where going back to my morning routine changing on different days, the red light is either part of my meditation, or it's just part of my morning work day so that I can still get it in which is actually super, super cool. Then to go along with this, my chiropractor now light he had both this red light and something called a PEMF mat and I put the link it's my actual affiliate link below. So it should get you directly to the mat and also some fun little goodies that go along with it. And I am I've been wanting this mat for about six months. Every time we go I lay on I have like an hour, I really, it's hard to explain how amazing it makes me feel. But it really does make me feel great. And so I've been saving it, letting it, show up in my ads all the time. And we finally got one and I have used it everyday since. And I'm, this is where I go back to that story. I told myself, I'm too busy. Well, guess what, folks, I wasn't too busy to find an hour each day to lay on it. Since I've got it. So um, so it's kind of crazy. I think when you say you're too busy, you either don't want to do the thing, or you're avoiding doing the thing. And if you're already doing the thing, you're either avoiding it because there's something that scares you about it or you just don't want to do it. So so let that be testament because I bet you the things you really want to do you make time for. Right. So anyways, that link is below I'm obsessed with it. Last time I did a solo episode I told about my favorite water bottle. I'm still obsessed with it. In fact, I have since had a couple of different facials, I have had seen a doctor and my holistic doctor and like, at no point has anyone said I'm dehydrated. I looked hydrated, everything is normal. Everything is great. And I'm super just stoked about this water bottle like it's one of the my favorite things in life. So that link we actually have the affiliate link now and it's below and a bunch of my friends have already bought theirs. We we now I literally almost bought myself another one. And I decided I have to hold back until it's like actually the color I want. So we're patient, we're patiently waiting. Also, I finally got myself a Contrology Wunda Chair. So as you know, if you're in the Pilates world, listening to this. I'm a big fan of that Contrology equipment for my studies with Jay Grimes, like I just really love the way the old equipment was built. And even classical equipment today is not built the same way it was before. And so Contrology has done a wonderful job, really doing a lot of research going back and seeing those old piece of equipment using the old springs to make these new springs and it's incredible. It's very different. We actually got it because we're making the flashcard deck for the chairs now. So if you need an affiliate link to anything by Balanced Body, you can always hit us up, you can those exist on all of our YouTube tutorials. But also, the Contrology equipment is built by Balanced Body and I have an affiliate link for that. But get the Contrology chair is new, it came at the same time as a Ladder Barrel. And I'm sure I'll end up with that. But I really wanted the chair now because we're doing the decks now. And I got it in a really cool blue. I know you've seen my chair, it's hot pink, that color doesn't exist anymore. So I got a hot blue to go with it. I'm just really excited. It's like Barbie pink and Barbie blue like chairs. And I'm just, I think I'm gonna take pictures with them like going to on a date together.

Okay, last couple of my favorite things. Naboso hand weights. So I met this woman at Momentum Fest. And I really liked the way that her hand weights felt in my hands like the texture she put in, there's a bunch of science behind it. And as you know, when you do Pilates, you only want one to two pound hand weights. Unless you're my bigger guys. And of course, I'll let you up to five, but nothing more than that, because it gets really distal, and I don't want you to be in your shoulders prefer three actually for you. But anyways, these hand weights are great. They're super fun, you can use them for anything, not just Pilates, and she's got a bunch of other good stuff for waking up your feet, and things like that. So check that out. And then finally, for my business folks who are thinking that they're just too busy, and like, "Where does she find the time?" Here I'm gonna tell you a little secret. In our household, and in our business, we Loom everything. Oh, actually, I'm gonna just be really honest, I don't log into the Loom account as much as everyone else says I'll use Zoom. But Loom Loom is the best. And so you can actually use my affiliate link below. And what it allows you to do is anything that you're already repeating in your life that you do, that you know, you want to someday hand off so life or work, you can Loom. So for example, let's say I don't want to schedule my newsletters anymore. So the next time I go to schedule one, I'm actually going to log into Loom so use my link below to get your account, you'll log in. And then you'll literally just talk to yourself, scheduling your next newsletter. And it will record your screen, record your clicks, record your voice, and you just label it, put in your Dropbox folder. And then when you do hire someone and go, "Here's how you do that. Go take a look at it. Let me know if you have any questions." And hopefully they're able to do it seems to train them. It's all done. So those are my favorite things. Some of them are well most of them are personal health related, then there is some Pilates related and then the business one related. I hope that these are helpful for you. Let me know if you liked this episode, if this if it's if it's good for you to hear like my thought process. I'm a total verbal processor as you can tell, and then what I'm reading and how that helps me be it till I see it and then what I'm using so I can support myself. Y'all, it takes a village okay, it really really does. I do understand that some of the things I'm talking about do come at a cost. And I understand that. So if right now, money is not something you have access to to support who you want to be in this world, can you please take a note out of Rachel Rodgers book, We Should All Be Millionaires. We've talked about this on the podcast before and use the word 'and' instead of 'but I don't have any money', and I don't have any money. And then I really do want you to then listen to that Flo... Florence Scovel Shinn book which I'm pretty sure it's free on on Audible, and hear how like, you can actually just be very specific on what you want. And then your eyes and ears are gonna see an opportunity. Maybe one of these things I've listed, but I say I love ends up at your neighbor's, like, garage sale, maybe ends up on a Facebook sale. Maybe someone's just like, "Hey, I'm moving. I can't take this with me." Right. Like you'd be surprised. What can come to you when you're in receiving mode and when you're aware of what you want. And I hope that these podcasts really help bring that to light and give you something to think about in your life is you can have everything you want. You can. You just have to a) know you want it and then also believe you deserve it, which you do. You don't have to have an excuse for that. You don't have to reason for that. You don't have to explain it to ... to anybody including me. I love you all so much. It is so fun to record these podcasts for you. The solo ones are unique and new for me, so I really do hope that they're helpful. And please if you have feedback, if you have questions, if there is ... guest you want to hear or if you want more solo episodes, then go to beitpod.com/tellme and then we can get you and give us that information and then we can continue to fine tune everything to help all of you, Be It Till You See It.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

 'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'. 

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli. 

 Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing. 

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi. 

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can.  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai