Be It Till You See It

Is there a secret to being confident? Is there a way to speak up without being a natural extrovert? Elle Russ argues yes! Listen in for Brad and Lesley’s recap on building and protecting your confidence with a few tips and tricks weaved throughout. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Retreat updates
• What is confidence? 
• Why you have to take action 
• Why direct communication and boundaries are a package deal 
• How to protect and build your confidence
• Start small to Identify and change the pattern 
• What is the stumbling block to confidence? 

Episode References/Links:

• Retreat Info

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

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• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the confident convo I had with Elle Ross in our last episode. (Brad: It was that.) It was so confident. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now, go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. You have to listen to that one. I don't care what order you do your shit in but like ...

Brad Crowell  

That's a great, amazing, like hard to break down into one thing to talk about episode because there was so much good stuff.

Lesley Logan  

So much good stuff. I mean, like I sometimes I was just like, I'm just gonna let her go. Because like, I'm just like, I'm getting confident, just listening to her. (Brad: Yeah.) So I'm just ... (Brad: It was, it was exciting.) I'm just gonna, like live off that those words. So anyways, I'm really excited about this interview. I've been wanting to have her on since before we started the pod. I heard her somewhere else. And like I was like, "This girl has to be on." And I actually heard her talking about something else that she does with paleo stuff and, and we ended up just chatting back and forth. I was like, "Okay, you're talking about confidence. Like, you're just going to do that." So anyway, I'm so glad we waited and we got her on and this time and Brad, we're in this interesting, like not a lull. But it's like a, it's like a, well, it's an in between what do you call that? (Brad: The middle.) The middle. (Brad: The messy middle.) We are in the middle. We've literally just sent everyone out of our house. (Brad: Oh, yeah.) After like being we were in Chicago. It was a freaking blast if we told you. And then we came in, cleaned everything up again. And then like people came in. And then it was a whirlwind of people, people getting photos ...

Brad Crowell  

Because we had the Pilates retreat, or sorry, we had a business retreat at our house in Vegas. (Lesley: Yeah.) So we're in Chicago for POT. And then we hosted an event here. And now we are prepping to leave for Cambodia.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, so and while we're prepping, we've got so many people coming to town for another Pilates situation with PMA. And it's like, I think we're gonna have more coffee dates than we've ever had in our entire lives. I'm (Brad: Yeah) but we're prepping for Cambodia and I'm really excited. And if you are like, "I missed the business retreat." You frickin did. You just did. No, I mean, we missed you too. But when is the next one and there is not one on the books for 2023. Because actually, a really a lot of amazing other stuff going on. And there's only so many weeks in the year and one of those should be a vacation for me and Brad. So (Brad: It's true.) so you can get on the waitlist for Profitable Pilates business retreats we'll probably bring them back in 2024. And if you're like, "That's too far away, guys." Well, that's what Agency is for.

Brad Crowell  

Right. So if you want to get on the waitlist to join us in person in Vegas, go to profitablepilates.com/retreats plural, retreats. And if you are interested in more about Agency and working with us before then just go to profitablepilates.com/agency

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. You don't have to wait till 2024 to get the hands in on your business. (Brad: That's true.) Even if you're like, "I love in person." That's fine. (Brad: We love in person too.) We do too, but I don't want you to wait two years to get you know, you're like we can totally make magic happen online before you get in person and we can do twice as much when you're here. (Brad: Yes.) All right. Well, now we had an audience re... an audience question to respond to, I think.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, well, this one was a collection of questions when we were in Chicagoland with Pilates on tour. (Lesley: Why is it called Chicagoland?) Because it's not Chicago proper, (Lesley: Yeah) outside of Chicago. We, it was so exciting, because I thought everybody knew that we go to Cambodia. (Lesley: No) You know, like, we talked about it so much, so, so often. And people were like, so fired up to hear about it. And they were really excited about the idea of going there and they were getting themselves on the waitlist. And they were asking because obviously we're leaving in less than a month now to go to Cambodia with our first group post COVID. And we're really excited about that. But if you wanted to join us oh sorry, the question is, how often do we go?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, So the reality is we've always wanted to go twice a year for retreats. (Brad: Yeah.) But given that people are still getting into the swing of traveling in this new normal that we're in, we only have one this year. And we're only planning one next year.

Brad Crowell  

That's right. (Lesley: Yeah.) By the way, if you have noticed where we're trying to reduce things.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Do you see how we're doing that? We're being it till we see it on this reduction policy over here. And it's not because we don't love it. Well, Brad, and I will probably know ... (Brad: It's my favorite thing.) Yeah, it's our will, we're definitely gonna go because we got a couple trips to Korea. That's happening and definitely ...

Brad Crowell  

... we're gonna go down. Yes.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. I feel like but Lesley, that made us could do another retreat. Yes, we could pack that in. (Brad: We could.) But that's, that's not we're doing anymore. And so if we're doing one next year, so I highly recommend that you get on the waitlist for that, well announced the dates probably, probably towards the end of this year, we'll have it solidify. We're just waiting on a few dates from some other events that we've got to make sure that we're at and ...

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, but it's gonna be in the fall, like September, October, somewhere in there and 2023. (Lesley: Yeah.) You know, (Lesley: Yeah.) by the way, if you're like, "What the hell I want to go right now?" (Lesley: You can.) You can join us. We still have room on the one that's happening in starting on October 30, 2022. But if you know that's not going to work for you, and you want to join us next year. Get yourself on the waitlist, go to lesleylogan.co/retreats. And that's plural. (Lesley: Yes. It's plural.) It's lesleylogan.co/retreats. (Lesley: We like the s s around here.) Yeah. (Lesley: And so ...) Singular takes you to the landing page for this year's retreat.

Lesley Logan  

Plural takes you to a waitlist. So you can get ... yeah. And so I just hope you come. I know that it's, here's the thing, but I know. I know that it's a big deal for you to plan a trip that crosses the ocean. And I know how easy it is say, I'll do next time because you think that next time will be easier than this time, or the next next time will be easier than this time. You are never going to feel ready. (Brad: No.) Ready is a lie.

Brad Crowell  

It's like having kids.

Lesley Logan  

Well, and we don't know that. But every person we know who has a kid, they're like ... (Brad: They're like buying a house.) You're never ready. Yeah. So I, so what I would just say is like, make make the plans, put it in there, put it in your calendar, or put like put it on your list of things you want to do in 2023. And like, look for ways to make that happen. (Brad: Yeah.) Because you will never ever regret going we did a retreat in March of 2020. And every person who came with all the uncertainty that there was, there was like, couldn't be more uncertainty then because we're like, "What's going on? I don't know." And we all went none of them regretted it. (Brad: No.) They all still talk to each other since then. (Brad: Yeah.) They still talk to each other. We've had ones that had babies since then. All of us have has happened and they're so glad they went when they did. (Brad: Yeah.) And so I'm just saying you should be there. Instead of ...

Brad Crowell  

You should be there. Yes. Well anyway, that is exciting. We love talking about Cambodia and I know that you know that diehard listeners if you're a first timer. Welcome to our world. (Lesley: Hello. I'm Lesley Logan.) And I'm Brad.

Lesley Logan  

You know, we don't do on this recaps. We don't even introduce ourselves.

Brad Crowell  

Oh yeah, I thought about that the other day. (Lesley: We do at the very end.) Yeah. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

And like one of, one, like our our our our coach Jill and Danny on every one of their episodes, they go they still cool man. Like they all, like this make sure that you know the voice is and we're like, we're gonna make all the assumptions you know, why you're here and sink or swim. Here we go. (Brad: Yeah.) Maybe we'll stick to the script.

Brad Crowell  

Okay, now let's talk about Elle Russ. Okay. A firm believer that confidence is the key to success in almost every area of your life. Elle Russ is the author of Confident As Fu*k. She's a speaker and a podcaster. She helps clients materialize dreams and goals, create better business and personal relationships and become the best at whatever it is that they're doing. She's also a world renowned thyroid expert that has overcome her own health struggles to find full confidence. So the thyroid portion of this you guys didn't even get into it. (Lesley: No.) During the episode, (Lesley: No.) I was actually very interested in that but looks like we're gonna have to have Elle back ...

Lesley Logan  

We'll have to have her back because the thyroid thing is like this crazy thing that's going on in this world that we're like people need to know more about so and that could be affecting you being it till you see it if your thyroids off. Guess what? Y'all you're not functioning to your best. So (Brad: Yeah.) another episode. So what I loved in this episode is, what is confidence? Yeah. And she said confidence is some of the thoughts you think and then the actions you take and like, yeah.

Brad Crowell  

Confidence is the sum of the thoughts that you think and the actions that you take.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, because you can, you can, you can think about something all the time, but if you don't take any action than actually, you, you have you actually going to create lack of confidence because you've got all these ideas and you don't do anything. And so now you don't have any, like, you don't have this like, data showing like I do the things that I'm thinking about. And so I really loved how she said that because people are always like, what is confident? How we more confident? Well take this some of your thoughts. And then take the action.

Brad Crowell  

The action to take. I mean, I know on this pod, you've heard Lesley say, you know, 100 times if you've heard she say at once, action creates clarity and clarity ...

Lesley Logan  

And actions, action is the antidote to fear.

Sorry, yeah. 

No. I say, (Brad laughs) It says, action brings clarity and action is the antidote to fear. When you have a fear, if you take action, it's the antidote. And then boom, clarity arises. So I guess you could say clarity is the antidote to fear. Maybe, maybe, not all the time, but I think some of the time can be that way. So you didn't jack it up. I think ...

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. I've never understood it that way before. But (Lesley: Yeah.) action brings clarity and clarity is the antidote to fear. (Lesley: Yeah.) So you know ... yeah. So but basically, that's what she's talking about here too. Confidence is the sum of your thoughts and then the actions that you take.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, when you take action, you get clarity, so that you take more action to get more clarity. And it just kind of, it kind of snowball is in there. And I I think it's really easy for us to think some thoughts about something that's amazing. And then we think about all the things that are reasons why we shouldn't, do it. And then of course, you feel like shit afterwards, like you don't, no one walks away from self talk of like, all the reasons why they shouldn't do something, feeling good about themselves. But if you take some action, and it doesn't have to be big action, it can just be like Googling the thing that you're thinking about doing. Right? Like, listen to Laurie Harder. She wants to have her like she's gonna have a beverage company, she didn't know how to like, make a beverage. So she could have just thought about how she doesn't have to do that. And then she's like, "Okay, I'm just gonna take this one action like Google, how do I do that?" And then she found some words she didn't know. And then she Googled those. And like, those, even just Googling is an action you can take to get the clarity that you want to have. And so really, and then that brings confidence, like, okay, I can do this because I have information around the thing that I want to do. And now I have the step, the next step to take. (Brad: Yeah.) So I'm in. I thought, I was like, oh, mic drop, and we can just put that on a frame and remind ourselves, that's what it comes from, you can't just think things and you can't you can't just do things, you got to kind of do them together. What did you love?

Brad Crowell  

So this is a little bit of a collection of things that you two, we're going back and forth. But as I was listening through the episode, you were talking about the necessity of speaking up for yourself. Okay, and particularly, people who are like people pleaser mentality, and the idea of speaking up for yourself. So I'm gonna read a whole bunch of things. And then we can kind of talk about, but you were talking about boundaries and direct communication. And basically, the, the idea here is if you don't speak up for yourself, you end up being a victim. And you want your and you're allowing yourself to be the victim, for allowing whatever it is to happen to you. Right. If you don't speak up for yourself. And her example was her friend was getting her hair cut, and she wanted it to be flat across the banks, but her barber or hairstylist was doing like choppy. Right. And then she came back the next time and like, still did it choppy. And so you know, she's allowing herself to be the victim of this. And it's building resentment. It's all these things. And what you two were discussing, which I thought was really amazing, was you can be declarative, and not confrontational. Okay. Declarative, and not confrontational. So you can say, "Hey, I would love for my bangs to be flat this time." That's not confrontational, not like, "Hey, asshole last time I told you to cut to be flat and you made him choppy." Right. That's confrontational. So you can be declarative. It doesn't have to be confrontational. We can say what is on our mind. And it doesn't have to be a huge sit down. It doesn't have to be like, "Okay, can I have five minutes of your time? Just the two of us. I just need to talk to you about something right now." Like that's so dramatic. It's so like, you're building this whole massive thing up and it doesn't again, that's like leading to awkwardness which could bring confrontation. Right. And another thing you said is, you can actually make people feel good while you're doing it. And so what that is, I'm sure you've heard this, if you've ever been a coach of any team, and you have to critique a student or a child or anything like that, or you know, the coach, usually they say, compliment, critique compliment, right? You sandwich it. Okay, so compliment, critique compliment. So, you know, "I'm so happy to be here today to get my hair cut. Hey, do you mind cutting it this time flat instead of it? You know, because I know you're so good at that." Compliment, critique compliment, right? And so it also allows you to make them feel good while you're basically correcting a behavior. You know, or standing up for yourself speaking up for yourself. Right. It can be done in tones. If I said, you know, "Cut my hair flat." (Lesley: And I think he's like) Whoa, whoa, (Lesley: whoa, oh, my God, get out of my chair.) You know, cut my hair flat. You know what I mean? Like, so funny, right? But tones can really, really change that. And yeah, I think that's enough. I had a couple of other points. But this is like, you know ...

Lesley Logan  

That was such a great part of the of the episode. And I really hope you all listen to it. Because she, I had not, I have always been proponent of like, just just tell people, it doesn't be a big deal. I'll just be like, you know, can we do it like this this time? But what I, what I loved how she said it was like, you know, you can say, "This time, I'd like to do my bangs and oh, by the way, I love that shampoo you gave me last time. I'm loving it." (Brad: Right. Yeah.) It just and it's kind of like what you said it's on a sandwich. But it's like, you know, it's it's got the thing, and it's just ...

Brad Crowell  

She call it like a throwaway (Lesley: Yeah) talking point, (Lesley: a throwaway) you know, where it's like a nice compliment. And it's like, actually, it softens the blow as it were of the critique or the heart and the harshness or the correction that you are, you know, standing up for yourself.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, and I think, I think also just to go, if you've never done this before, it's okay. If the first couple of times just feel really awkward, you kind of have to prep yourself, again, for a little rehearsal, (Brad: Yeah, yeah) that's fine. But what I hope you do is celebrate when you do it inside your head, like, "Oh, I just did that. Oh, I did that." (Brad: Yeah.) Because you're going to find that becomes easier and easier to do that. And then people just are like, "Oh, that person just knows what they want." No one's gonna go, "Oh, that's a bitch." They're gonna be like, "Oh gosh she always knows she wants, she gets what she like, it's so amazing." They're just like, "He did it so well." And all of a sudden, you're like the person that everyone's looking to, to, like, get the things you want. So I that, that segment needs to be saved and re listened to.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, 100%. It was really, really revealing for me, you know, I think that I used to work in a job where I had to be the quote unquote, "bad guy" with things like if if something was wrong, I was the one who has to fix it. And so I had to go constantly have, you know, very challenging conversations all the time. And I remember at the beginning of that, like, I was stressing, I was sweating having this conversation with what, and we're talking like a vendor, that, like, made a mistake. And you know, it was like, expensive and time and we didn't have the time or the money. And I was like, I had to basically go yell at them and not yell at them, (Lesley: Yeah) you know, and get them to do the thing, fix the thing without pissing them off yet still, make sure it was corrected, and make sure it didn't happen again. And I just remember, like, I sat down, I wrote, I like literally wrote down on my, everything I needed to absolutely communicate. And then it was like, alright, cool. And then I took a nice one walk around the block, cooled my head. And then I got on a call. And, and I was like, okay, this wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be. And, and then over time, over the years, and having conversations similar to that as things, you know, as life happens in operations, there's always something that goes wrong. The, you know, you kind of get good at it, you start to figure it out. And, and also you don't, it doesn't have to be this big, massive build up, unless you want it to be, you know what I mean? And that can be part of it too, down the road, when you know what you're doing with this, these kinds of conversations.

Lesley Logan  

And that's something to notice, like, if you keep making things a big deal, that could be kind of a pattern that you are feeding off of a little bit, there's something there there. But I want to go back to like, I know a lot of people listening to this can be our teachers and have these clients who like ask certain things or demand certain things, and you're like, "Oh, my God, I felt like, I don't do that. Then I'm gonna loose this client." First of all, it's okay to lose a client then, like, if you're so afraid of anything that you do as the version of yourself, that is the best version of yourself pissing off someone off for them to leave, then they need to go. So that's first and foremost. And so the thought some of your thoughts and the actions you take are going to be the confidence you need to go for someone to go. I had this one client she every third session, she would say that we have to do things differently because it was hurting her back. And the third time she said that to me over I was like, I recall the session we had and the reason we went to a pre Pilates session for that day because she had told me I spent the last eight hours moving art in my garage, she has a art person. And I said, when she said that, I said, look, I gave you a pre Pilates session, it couldn't have been more protective of your back than I like it couldn't have been. What you have to recognize is all the things you do on the many hours, you're not here with me, make a difference in how your back feels. (Brad: Sure.) This is not the only thing that works your back. And so I really love working with you. But if that's going to be a problem, then this isn't gonna work out. And she like snap to it and like, gosh, like, okay, and like was fine. So it wasn't fun. I did not play that through in my head beforehand, because it happened in the session. (Brad: Yeah.) And I but I will say that, having those thoughts about how do I stand up for myself with clients that are truly not respecting me as their teacher and wanting to be the teacher of their own session, which is not, that's not what you pay me for. You pay me to teach you. So having that and then taking that action. I got so much frickin confidence from that as like. So I just say, you know, it's okay, did not I did not say it in like a mean way. I like literally, I was like really honest with her. And I and I said it with a smile on my face. And I just said, I hate to lose you. But you know, I want you to feel safe. And if you don't, (Brad: Yeah) that's okay. And you do that one time and oh you'll have their pick kicking your step ladies, you will and (Brad: Yeah) find gentlemen listening. 

Brad Crowell  

All right. So finally, let's talk about those BE IT action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Elle Russ? So this is a two parter. Where she didn't actually explicitly say the second part, but I inferred it. So I wanted to break it down a little bit more. She said, identify the pattern. Okay. But then the two of you also had a conversation about changing the pattern, which we just briefly discussed a little bit ago. But effectively, what is the pattern that happens to me, but not other people? What are those patterns that keep happening? You know, like, for example, I think we've talked about this before, but you're going to keep dating the same people until you change. Okay. And that's funny to say, it's it's like, (Lesley: Oh) the until you change part is not obvious, actually.

Lesley Logan  

I know, you keep thinking you change the partner, but it's actually you. (Brad: Yeah, it's actually you.) That's what Lauren Zoeller would say.

Brad Crowell  

Right, so what are the patterns that keep happening to me? But none of the people and why are those things happening to me? And she talked about writing them down. What are, write down those patterns, right? And, and then she said, patterns will continue to happen until you stop them. And then how do you change those patterns? Right? So, right, she said, she start small, okay, small changes of some of these patterns, and write down the changes that you're going to make. So, you know, for example, let's say you keep getting clients that late cancel on you, okay, and I'm just going to compare this to teachers, again. If you continue to get clients that late cancel you, and you're annoyed by that it's, you know, what's happening over time builds resentment, frustration, you know, anger, all the things, eventually you explode, you know, one time and you just, like, throw things at the wall, because they, you know, they like to canceled on you again, you know, and so you can, you know, start small, by making a change in you, in making a change in your policies, and making the change in how you address these situations. There's a lot of little micro changes that you can make, but pick one and then do it.

Lesley Logan  

Well, you can go back to dating relationships, because because everyone listens has done that. If the partner you're with, never picks up around the, like picks up their dirty laundry, and you never say to pick up your dirty laundry. And then the one day, we've all done it, where you just fucking lose it. (Brad: Yeah. You freak out.) Like something happens, has nothing to do laundry, but you trip on the laundry and you're like, "You never pick this up." And they're like, "You never told me. Like, do you never say that bothered you?" (Brad: Right.) Do you see the common denominators? You, you didn't, you tripped on it. You never said anything. You kept it to yourself, and you thought, "Oh, this will just be fine." It's not fine. If it bothers you say something.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, I mean, definitely, you know, that's annoying. (Lesley: That's changer.) I completely understand. It's annoying that they don't pick up their stuff, but like, have you expressed it? You know, and if you have and has it been in a angry way, like we talked about the beginning or a kind way, you know, so, you know, I think start small write down the changes that you're making. Right? And then something else was that she said, which kind of goes in parallel to that is to detach yourself from people who are toxic. She was talking about confidence and dreams and but, you know, basically change could be, you know, isolation, or actually. But I just realized I'm spilling into your takeaway. So, what about you? 

Lesley Logan  

I was just like, I was just like, "Oh were you just gonna tell you all the takeaways." And you just gonna say ... because I'm gonna just pipe in and just say, "Excuse me, it's my takeaway." Thank you.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, hey, don't take my takeaway. (Lesley: Don't take my takeaway.) Don't take my takeaway. (Lesley laughs) Did you like you know, not take my takeaway, please.

Lesley Logan  

Hey, I loved your takeaway. But can I have my takeaway back? (Brad laughs) Thank you. So keep your dreams close to the vest. You know, here's we, first of all, we had a whole conversation and she was quite blunt about you hanging around people who are not super awesome for you. (Brad: Yeah.) And that bluntness might be hard to take, but like, I love honesty, it's the best policy and just so like, keep dreams close the best, here's the deal. It's important to have people in your life that you can share things with. But if you don't have those people in your life, you gotta you gotta keep those things close to your vest, so that you, especially if you are not yet feeling confident around things, you gotta build that confidence up before you share things. Because when you share something, and you are vulnerable around it, you are not yet confident in it. And someone says, the thing that you're probably worried about, because they will, you know, that's going to shatter that dream, and you might not make it happen. And so you be mindful of that.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, can be a big stumbling block with your confidence. (Lesley: Oh, yeah.) So, you know, keeping them clo... keeping your dreams close to your vest, you know, basically, she kept referring to Mary, I don't know, apparently, Mary's angry. So Mary doesn't believe in you. Mary doesn't believe in herself. Mary, actually, you know, shit talks, the goals that you have, and the dreams that you have. And so, really, but Mary has been your best friend for 30 years? Well, you know, Mary's not helping you, she's actually not being your friend. She's actually what she's doing is projecting her fears onto you. (Lesley: Yeah) Those fears could simply be her own, you know, like, like, lack of dreams. But those fears could also be fear of loss. If you are successful with the thing, maybe that thing takes you away from her. She doesn't want that. Right. She doesn't really understand even though she's sabotaging you, (Lesley: Yeah.) but she is.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. No, and so you may have to stop, stop telling Mary some things and you might have to find. Like I have some friends that I really told my business stuff to. And I have some friends I just talk about life with. And it's (Brad: Sure.) not because I don't actually, the friends I got my life with probably would totally support those business ideas and dreams. But they're not yet solidified yet, all the way. And those friends that are like my life friend might not really understand it. And if I get a question that at all, is like where I'm a little worried and something it could totally derail it. And it's not because they're bad. Like they're doing it intentionally. It's just like, I'm not confident on that thing yet. So make sure you know who you want to tell things to and who you don't. And so take practice. And if you're a 30 year old friend of Mary, that you've had forever and your life is being like that. It's okay to just start like, maybe don't talk to Mary every day. Maybe Mary gets a weekly call, and then maybe Mary gets 10 day call and then they call. And if, and if Mary asks you what's going on, because Mary built up the gumption you can go, "Wow, that's amazing. Thank you for asking. I'm just really working on some things right now. (Brad: Yeah.) I love you. Working on some things right now." It is okay. I don't know why a lot of people like to keep friends around. But don't make them feel happy. They're so afraid to like, let go of these people. It's not that it's you can pick them back up when you are strong enough to handle those things. (Brad: Yeah.) Until you have the confidence around the things you want to do and the life you want to have. You need to be super protective of it. You need to, you need to make sure you have all the protection up before you take it on to the world. You know, so I hope this helps you with your confidence, guys. I really, I might put this on repeat. I really loved it. It's so good.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, yeah. And I can't wait to have Elle Russ back to talk about her, her, you know, experience with the thyroid stuff too. So ...

Lesley Logan  

I know. Elle, that's your your invitation. (Brad: Yeah.) Call us back. Well, I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell  

And, I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan  

Thank you so much for joining us today. We are so grateful to have you here. How are you going to use these tips in your life to build your confidence? Let us know. Tag @_elleruss, tag the @be_it_pod. Share it with your girlfriend, share with this with Mary. You know the one, (Lesley laughs) the one with your life. (Brad: ... we send it to Mary.) Hey, Mary (Lesley and Brad laughs) I've really ... Do whatever you want with it. But whatever you do make sure that you are taking messy action because perfect is boring and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell  

Bye for now.

Lesley Logan  

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell  

 It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan  

 Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing. 

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi. 

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can.

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

The only confidence mastermind you may ever need! From quiet confidence to people-pleasing, Elle Russ is bringing the insights for building a confidence that will show up in every aspect of your life. There are even some dating tips in here for dealing with rejection and knowing how to remove comparison from the equation. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Everything you want in life on the other side of that is confidence and self esteem.
• Confidence is ancestral; survival, confidence, and how they are intertwined ancestrally. 
• How you can get rid of the downers your life
• How jealousy conflicts with confidence 
• Why you can’t allow rejection to affect your self esteem
• The reason health and confidence are tied together
• Confidence doesn’t mean being louder or speaking up more
• How to begin to show up authentically confident

Episode References/Links:

• The Elle Russ Show
• Ultimate Confidence Course
• The Paleo Thyroid Solution
• Confident as F*ck Book

Guest Bio:

Elle Russ is a #1 bestselling author, show host, and thought leader on confidence, self- esteem, and intention. She is also a world-renowned thyroid expert.

Elle has written for Entrepreneur and has been featured in Success Magazine, HuffPost, Podcasting Magazine, Mind Body Green, Prevention, and more.

Elle is the author of Confident As Fu*k and The Paleo Thyroid Solution – a book which has helped thousands of people around the world reclaim their health. She is also a TV-Film writer and the screenwriter of the award-winning documentary film Headhunt Revisited.

For a decade Elle has been coaching people all over the world in a variety of areas. Visit ElleRuss.com to learn more. Elle holds a degree in Philosophy from The University of California at Santa Cruz. She lives and plays in the mountains above Malibu, California. Elle is an avid reader, hiker, swimmer, stand up paddler, and comedy binger.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Hey, Be It babes. All right, I got something for you. You do not need to listen to this week's podcast on 2.0 speed. As you know, I already live my life in 1.5 speed and my guest this week, Elle Russ. She and I, just I fucking love her. This is going to be a great interview. If you have, if you've ever wondered like how to be confident, she's about to just like, give you a total master class in it. So get your notepads out, get the save button on there. You're going to want to follow her, find her and take all the things she has. I got so much out of this because I think there are some things that I didn't realize I was doing as a confident person. And so first of all, I got like tons of affirmation on this. It's not that it's about me, but truly like I think some of us, some of you might be wandering around thinking you're not a confident person all the time, but you might listen to things she's saying realize, whoa, you have a lot more confidence and you're giving yourself credit for and others you might be going, "Oh these are the blips that I have." And if you are someone who doesn't feel confident, you are someone who is people pleaser, if you're someone who's just constantly lacking in boundaries, you are going to get educated and it's with so much love from Elle and I who really truly, no you need this, you need this, you need this to go through the life that you want to have. You get this one life on this planet and I am really excited for you. So if you are on a walk and you can't take notes, don't worry you're gonna re listen to this because you're gonna there are so many gems I already want to go back and I'm gonna have to have Elle back again because we didn't even get into a bunch of stuff I wanted to talk to her about. So here she is, get ready to get your confidence masterclass, right now Elle Russ.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

All right, Be It babes. I'm really excited. This woman is pretty friggin successful and doing some amazing things on this planet. And you can see her work in some incredible magazines which I'm sure she'll tell us all about, well how she did that. But I just I saw her profile on a place where I look for amazing guests, and I was like, "I have to talk to this woman. I have to talk to her." So, Elle Russ, you are (Elle: Hi.) here at the at the Be It Till You See It podcast. Thank you for being here. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you're what you're being these days?

Elle Russ  

Well, I am a number one best selling author and master coach,.I have two books that I coach people all over the world and those topics. One is thyroid health, I wrote a book called The Paleo Thyroid Solution. I suffered greatly at the hands of uninformed doctors, wrote a whole book about it became a best seller. And so I'm sure forever an eternity I will be known as like the thyroid expert happy to do that because it's such a prevalent problem. On the other side, my other book, Confident as F*ck, is also a pretty widespread problem, because 80, 85% of people in the world are lacking and low self esteem and confidence. And everything you want in life on the other side of that is confidence and self esteem. Period, end of story, from the bedroom to the boardroom, if you want to be a parent that's modeling it to your children, you have to have it. So this is not necessarily about like, how to have confidence and go speak on a stage to 50,000 people, that's part of it. But there are people that go and speak on a stage to 50,000 people and they get off the stage and they can't fucking talk to their neighbor or their loved one or draw a boundary with a family member. And that's no good, either. That's not confidence either. And then there's people that are quiet, and confidence can be quiet. You know, this is not about being boisterous, or extroverted or like me, where you know, I can just sort of talk freely like this, that is not what it's about. But being confident as fuck is inside and out. You know, it's not a manufactured version of you. Right? It's getting to the point where you feel it through and through. And when you do that, life is fucking great, life is so much better. I live such a great life because of my confidence. It's a absolute superpower. But it's not that it hasn't taken hits over the years, you know, and it's not that this, I'm sure you probably have some examples yourself in your life. It's a constantly growing endeavor. Now, when it comes to me, I'm pretty quick and making these decisions if I see that I need to draw a boundary, I can get it right away, versus maybe some other people listening who might struggle and walk away from conversations going, "I wish I said that. Or I wish I did." You know, and here's the thing, when you're confident as fuck, you don't have that, because you actually say it, I don't have any regrets. I say all the things I need to say, I never walk away from things going, I wish I, now on the other side of that confident people have pitfalls. (Lesley: Yeah.) And we got a lot to learn from the people that might be a little shy or a little less. So sometimes people that are shy when they do speak up, they tend to be a little bit more diplomatic, you know, super confident people are ready to be like here's my opinion, you know what I mean? (Lesley: Yeah.) So, so the book, I take you through sort of scraping the barnacles off of your life. And then of course, I have the Ultimate Confidence Course, which is, you know, just a huge monster of a course that dives deeper into it. But essentially, it's going through your life and scraping off the barnacles and the things that are preventing you from prevailing in this world. And (Lesley: Yeah.) so, before I just keep going on a ...

Lesley Logan  

I have ... like (Elle: lecture) sorry, I got so excited. First of all, you made me think of 'You've Got Mail' ya know? When she's like, "I wish I could just say the thing." And he's like, "Be careful because when you say the thing, then like you've said the thing." Like you know, and so (Lesley laughs) you, I love that ...

Elle Russ  

Speaking of has consequences. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. But I also, I also love that you pointed out that like you coming on here on the show, and you talking like this doesn't mean that like, that's necessarily confidence, because I do think that's, that's actually why I created this podcast, because the number one question I get asked is like, "How are you so confident?" And I'm like, "What ..." I mean, I am a confident person, but what about what you're seeing is makes you think that I'm confident in everything that I do it or that like, I'm not nervous, or like I don't have like some sort of fear around the thing, like, and so I think people see, those of us who can be, I call myself a high functioning extrovert can go up there and talk to people and do a thing that might have obstacles along the way or might have to go have some fear and go, "I don't have that." It's like but you can be quietly confident. And you can also you don't have to be speaking on 50... 50,000 people, or it doesn't be a goal to be a confident person. So, I really love that you pointed that out. Okay, so but then let's back up a step like, were you always like this? How did you like was there a time where you like needed to build this confidence? How did you go, I need to write a book about being Confident as F*ck.

Elle Russ  

You know ... (Lesley: What's the good beginning?) Yeah. No, people ask me that question all the time. Like, like, "Who are you? And why the hell would you write a book about this? And you know, who do you think you are?" Right? So and here's the truth. I am one of the most confident people, I know. I am. Now, that was not without its hits over time. I would say that, well, here's the truth. Everyone's born confident. Okay. It's just stuff along the way. So unless you were like, came out of the womb and punched in the face. Okay, there's people that are grossly abused as a baby. Yes. Okay. But in general, when you're growing up, at least the first formative years, you know, kids are like, "No, give me that." They have no problem declaring their shit taking what they want. No. Yeah. You know, I mean, you see it, it's inherent within us and one of the things that kind of connects with my work as a Paleo Primal Ancestral Health Expert is confidence is ancestral. It is, we it's an evolutionary edge that we have. Okay. So why is that? Well, (Lesley: Yeah.) first of all, what is it? So confidence is not some like anchored quality within you. It's literally the sum of the thoughts you think, and the actions you take. Both of those things are changeable, it's at everyone's disposal. And so confidence has an ancestral edge it provides, it helps us navigate challenges and tasks and social situations without pause, without fear. Thus, it propels us in the direction of our dreams and goals. Now, nowadays, we have this luxury of wallowing in self despair, and pinning in self judgment. But you know, I want to talk about our hunter gatherer ancestors, because these motherfuckers life was harsh. Okay. It was unforgiving. It was unrelenting. It kept throwing challenges at them. Can you imagine our hunter gatherer ancestors moping around when their heads hung low if they didn't catch the beast, saying to another of like, "Maybe I should give up hunting? I'm not good at it." No. They forged ahead, okay. And here's the truth. And this really comes from this author, Art De Vany. He's fond of saying "to the hunter gatherer, there is no failure. It's only feedback." And that is true about confident people. We have the perspective that failure is feedback. It is not a dig on us, and a means to give up. And so can you imagine back in the day, if like, the water source was tainted, and Joe was sitting around crying, they'd be like, "Joe, we gotta go, man." Like, (Lesley: Yeah.) we gotta go.

Lesley Logan  

This is so ... Okay. This is the first time I've heard people use confidence to the hunter gatherer because (Elle: Yeah.) we do a lot. (Elle: I'm the only one ...) Yeah, we go, we talked about them a lot, because we talked about like, the fear and the mindset. But like, (Elle: Yeah.) this is really interesting because I, I think you're right, I think we have almost, we almost have too much time on our hands to think about what we didn't do.

Elle Russ  

It's a modern problem. Now, where we don't want to be like them is like, yeah, they would have probably dragged us into caves by our hair. (Lesley laughs) No human rights. Okay. You know, we evolved, but also with evolving, and I don't even mean biological... biologically, I mean, just adapting to modern society. We need to get back more to the hunter gatherer mindset when it comes to this, because here's the thing, back in back in the day survival, we don't have these survival threats. We have food and water and shelters, and you know, most people have access to this stuff. So survival required that our ancestors regrouped and forged ahead to the next challenge when they faced unfavorable, you know, unfavorable circumstances. I mean, they did things with a purpose and a goal, of course, but had the outcome not been to their advantage. They accepted it and moved on trying again later, or devising a plan or an alternate plan. Right? That is ...

Lesley Logan  

They would tell stories, like they like they literally say, like we all are, we evolved, and we survived, because we had this ability to tell a story. So they would use their failure, they would use the challenge to tell a story for other people to learn from, rather than like, "Oh, I'm the worst hunter in the world. I gather ..."

Elle Russ  

Right. I feel so bad. Maybe I shouldn't do this anymore. Do you think I should do this? I'm no good. I mean, it just that, like, it's not even a possibility. And again, because survival was the driving factor. We don't have that driving factor anymore. Now, this is not a health discussion. But unfortunately, modern society technology, go go go. It is driving that fight or flight and an unnecessary threat of survival. That's not really there are these false threats. Right. You know what I mean? (Lesley: Right. Well ...) But in general, so so that's why I like people to look at it, it is your birthright. It's inherent within you. Something happened along the way, you met a teacher that told you, you'd be nothing. You know, your parents told you, you were stupid, they labeled you as a brat, like, whatever the story is, and that's why I take people through in the book and the course, more in depth. All of those things. We go, like, parental garbage, what, what's the stuff we got from those people? You know, what kind of downers are we hanging out with? There's so many people out there friends, loved ones that are gonna project a lack of confidence onto you. What are you going to do about it? And so I'm happy to give some specific examples. Whatever you want. 

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, let's let's go into that because I I definitely think I think a lot of people have some doubts, or maybe they're listening that maybe they are the downer and like, so we can get into that in a second. But like, and I don't and I always say that I think if you're listening to this and you recognize that, like, hey, first of all, that's like enlightenment, what a great awareness for yourself. But I do feel like people get stuck around the downers because they make excuses. Like, I can't let this person go or listen to other podcasts. Like we've been friends for 25 years. How do I let her go? I'm like, "Oh, my God", like you don't have to, like you don't have to keep relationships around just because they logged the years." So, I obviously that's the confidence person that I am and like,"It's okay, if they just, you know, we'll circle back around when they're ready." What do you say to people who have a really hard time getting rid of the downers in their life?

Elle Russ  

You're living a lie. You're hanging out in some type of relationship, because you fear what someone may say or think about you. But the truth is, you don't really want to hang out with that person that usually happens nine times out of 10. You know, you hear a person talking, you're like, "I don't think you even like this person." Like, "Why are you hanging out with them?" Like, "Why are they your friend?" Well, but I've known them for so long. Oh my gosh, you know, life is short man. And we are the sum of the people we hang out with. So, you know, an example of a downer friend or family member, it's like, you know, if you keep telling your sister Mary about all your exciting business plans, or goals, or dreams, or whatever, and every time she's like, "I don't know, like a lot of new businesses fail. I don't know, if you just start a business or you've never started a business." Or these kinds of snide remarks that people give you. It's, again, it's just their fear of failure projected onto you. And so if you allow that to come in and affect you, which is really all your choice. Now, you can buffer it by just not hanging out with these people, stop sharing your dreams with Mary. Stop sharing your dreams with your fucking sister. Mary is a person that always doubted yourself and should be doing for 20 years, if you think suddenly, she's gonna get fucking excited. And by the way, I tell you something, once you achieve this thing that Mary doesn't believe you can, she'll still find another way to downer it. Okay. (Lesley: Yeah.) You're never gonna win. Alright. And it happened to me even several times through writing a writing a book, I even had I tell a story in my book about how I had a, one of my best friends of 30 years. And this is another reason to be with friends that are pretty confident, is you can just be straight up. You know, I'm a very direct communicator, as everyone has already gathered in these minutes. And so my friend calls me we've known each other for 30 years, I'm writing my first book. And he goes, she calls me just like, "Hey, how's it going? Are you getting stuff done? Are you writing like, we're ..." Like, almost as if a nervous parent the night before a big test for the, you know, the kid and kind of, and I this is what I say to my friend, "Hey, man, you're being a fucking downer right now. First of all, don't project onto me something you're not confident in just because you've never written a book or anything in your life. When have I not finished everything I've said I was gonna do? I've written stuff. So you know, for you to hang over my head here. Like some parents just being the kind of fucking downer." You know.

Lesley Logan  

Right. It's almost like they're, they're one because they probably don't finish things. So like, "Oh, let me see if Elle didn't isn't finishing, because that's gonna make me feel better, because I don't finish things." And (Elle: Right.) and you're oh my gosh, you made me think of this. We had a person who wrote like, Why You Have to Talk About Mental Health in the work... in the workplace and was based on like, people who like shame your wellness plot, like if you're like, "I'm going for a run." Like, "Oh, must be nice for you to go for a run." Like, they just want everyone to not run with them. So I love that you are direct with that. That's amazing.

Elle Russ  

And he was directly goes, "Okay, you're right. Sorry, my bad." And we moved on. Now, here's another example, that example wraps up in, what if I didn't say anything? Now I'm holding resentment two years from now something similar happened to go, you know, that last time. You know, two years ago. No ...

Lesley Logan  

You've never, you've never been supportive. You've always been looking for me to fail. And they're like, "Where's this coming from?"

Elle Russ  

... Yeah, get it out there, then that way, you have no hidden resentments, you know. The other, the let me just talk about something else. I want to talk about people pleasing in my book. And this is a big problem and ...

Lesley Logan  

Oh, people pleasing is its own form of control and lack of confidence. Right?

Elle Russ  

100%. A form of control. And also it is literally so you know, you hear people, "Go oh, poor Mary," like she never gets those days. Oh, she's so nice. She's too nice. If you ever hear someone say that about you or someone else worry, because you know what that means? You're a liar. People pleasers are liars. Now, if you're out there, and you're people pleaser, sorry to tell you this. But that is the truth. You're a liar. And by the way, one of the reasons everyone loves people with confidence is because confidence equals authenticity. Authenticity reigns supreme period. That's why we look at confidence, we trust a confidence person, confidence in themselves. Anyone listening right now would go, "I bet she knows what she's talking about. She sounds like she has ..." Right. And again, I'm not performing that is really true and inherent within me. But that's the case. So people pleasers don't speak up or they don't really truly say what they believe about things because they're too afraid of someone rejecting them or you know, someone not liking them or what someone's opinion is. And so when you do that, you are really, you're what you're doing is you're putting forth a false projection of yourself. It's a false view. And no one can really love you or be your friend or be tight with you. If you know inside, you're not really you know, you're not ...

Lesley Logan  

Well, and also, like I find as a confident person. When I'm around a people pleaser, it makes me really uneasy because I'm like, like, because they're kind of like all like, they're like, "Do you want to do this? Do you want to do this?" Like, "We can do this or I can make you this, which like make you cake. I can make cookies." And it's like, just like what do you want to make right now. It'd be really awesome if you would just make a decision because then I could just say yes, "I want that. Or actually I'm good right now." You don't have to make me anything. It's almost like it's a little ...

Elle Russ  

It's over giving. It is over giving sometimes. Now, I'm a helpful person. I love to make stuff for people. I'm always offering help. I'm known as a super connector in my industry. I love helping other people out. That's another thing. Confident people encourage other people's success. So when you see like a brash chick out there who's kind of bully type and you think that's confidence? No, that's just a bully. That's just an uncoated bully who has some baseline of confidence, but they're fucking misusing it just like a con man. It's no different. They're misusing their confidence. Okay. And so that's not confidence when someone's bragging and being boisterous. That's not confidence. We always, it always feels gross, because it's insecure, because they're trying to prove something to somebody. I mean, the truth is, is that confident people don't, you know, it's funny I used to, when I when I talk with private clients, when we have like an intake call to make sure we're fit before we do something, you know, with life coaching and mentorship. I think sometimes at the end of that call, they're expecting me to sort of hard sales them. And I don't at all, I'm just like, "Hey, it's all good. Think about it. There's no pressure here. Talk to you later." Like I because I'm, I don't have to push it. I'm confident when I do. I only want people to come to me who want that. And it's funny, because I've had a few clients who said, "That's the thing that actually sold me on it." And I'm like, that's kind of reverse psychology that I wasn't planning. Right. It didn't. It's just it's not me, because I'm confident enough in my abilities that I don't need to push you to work with me. 

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So, I tell this to our, I tell this to our my husband has always been in sales. And I found myself in retail sales. I never thought I was a salesperson I was and I was what like number one salesperson. And everyone's like, "How are you doing this?" And I'm like, "I just ask people how they're doing, and then show them things that they like, and then go, do you want this one or this one? Both? Want me to wrap it for you?" Like, there's not like this, like, "What would you like to do?" Like it's just being directly, being authentic and when, when how that translates to our business is all of our members can tell you. We don't tell to them. We're like, "Okay, tell me what your goals are. Here's what we do. This is where we can help you. What would you like to do?" You know?

Elle Russ  

Yeah. Make it or not if it's for you, it isn't? That's cool. I am not. You know, because here's the thing, we all know what it's like to be sold to and then regret it and then feel kind of cheated and trickened. And everyone's sort of regretting that, you know, salespeople have this like list of objections. Right. (Lesley laughs) ... objection, what do you say it's so canned, right? We all hate this stuff, at least I do. So I don't do that at all, either. One of the things that's really important about confidence is aside from being comfortable with failures and mistakes, and speaking with authority, like I was saying before we encourage and foster and celebrate the success of others. (Lesley: Yeah.) Confident people don't compete. Now, what do I mean by that? Because that sounds a little strange. There's a difference between competing and competing against, you know, so for example, I always say I never compete, I just compete to be the best and win. So you'd be like, "Well, Elle you know, what, if you're like, in a marathon, there's obviously like, 50 women in there, you know?" And I was like, "Yeah, but see, my mental thing would be, I'm just going to win." I don't think of myself. And it was like, "Oh, I can't wait to beat Kathy and wait to see the look on her face. I'm not competing against." And you see, there's a big vibrational difference there. One is my pleasure at the end of it has to do with your failure. The other one is just me being the best and winning and you know, when I often win a lot of competitions, and I believe that the favors are going to be tipped, that it'll be tipped in your favor, when you have that type of non competing outcome. Also, you know, if someone came to me, and they're like, "I want to be a writer. I want to be a podcaster." I'm like, "Great." My first thought isn't, "Oh, no, what if they become more successful than me? What if they ..." So (Lesley: Right.) confident people don't have a lack of abundance. And so they're not competitive against other people. And so if you see that, that is wrong, get out. The other thing too, is we're not jealous. Now, it's not to say that jealousy doesn't come up, but it would be like, immediately gone. (Lesley: Yeah.) Because again, it's, um, you might look at someone and be inspired by that, like, "Oh, man, they got a private jet. And so I would love that." Or something like or you know. Yeah, that's cool. That's that lets you know what you want. But when you're jealous, you have a lack of mentality. And here's the effed up thing about people who are projecting a lack of confidence onto you and jealous people. Essentially, jealousy is hoping that the person who you're jealous of fails, full stop to really dig into it, you are kind of hoping for the failure of the person you're jealous of having the thing that you don't have, it's not fair. Why did they get it? Why did they get it?

Lesley Logan  

Well and then ... (Elle: You're like hoping for failure. Terrible.) And there's no way you can be successful because you spent all your energy on the hopes of their failure. And so you can't (Elle: Totally.) see and you know, what is so crazy is and I liked that you pointed out it doesn't mean that they don't have moments of like a jealous moment where like, oh, but it just tells them I want that thing. And there's a quick, there's a quick reaction to that nope, that doesn't actually live here. So there's a reframe of oh, I didn't know I wanted that or I want to do this and it's not about like, let me go down the confident people are not going down the rabbit hole of Instagram to see what this person has been able to do or not do.

Elle Russ  

100%. You're not, you don't even care. You don't even look because you just don't even care. And another couple another thing I'd like to mention is and this is going to sound harsh. This is a quote from a guy named Andre Dubus and this would be for people that feel very shy eyes are really like soft spoken and feel like they have that outward part that's hard. It's gonna be hard to hear. But there's a lot of good juice in here, which is, shyness has a strange element of narcissism. The belief that how we look, how we perform is truly important to other people. Guess what, it's not, no one gives a shit. They're all thinking about themselves. So it is sort of this weird self aggrandizing, everyone's looking at me, the people pleasing. It's everything that's outside of you. And you're also giving power to everything outside of you in order to share how you feel about yourself. And one of the examples in my book that I love to give is, I was talking to a woman and maybe she was like, 55 years old, she was doing the online dating thing. And she said to me, "This is just so depressing. It's so much rejection." And I said, "Well, hold on a minute. Like, what do you mean by rejection?" She goes, "Well, I email like all these guys, and then like, I don't get anything back." And I said, "Okay, so what if we found out though, that every guy that didn't email you back was a) not the picture they posted, b) a murderer, c) drunk, just out of prison beat their last wife, con man. Would you feel so fucking rejected then? Or would you feel like you dodged a bullet? Of course the answer, "I feel like I dodged a bullet." So what's crazy there is she's actually manufacturing like in her head, she's projecting onto a stranger, what they might think of her and they're allowing that to affect her own (Lesley: Right) self esteem. And it's crazy when you break it down, isn't it?

Lesley Logan  

It's okay. So, were you on this ... Because when I was single, I had the most fun dating. I really did. (Elle: I bet you did ...) I had the best time. And like, even on the worst dates, I would just go, "Okay, well, here are this is the practice of red flags. And (Elle: Yeah.) lots of things I don't really want in a relationship. I actually don't like when someone just ordered for my dinner like that was I didn't say I wanted that. I wanted something else. So that is a weirdo." But I had so much fun and my girlfriend' were single it was that. Like, "It's so hard. Like, I, they haven't called me." I'm like, "Do you want them to call you? Did you like the date?" Like, this is, it's like a job interview, you also have to want the job just because ...

Elle Russ  

... that's what I told a friend who said to me, they had a great like 2 hour talk on the phone with a woman that they were going to meet and they were really excited, really attracted to her. And they were gonna go on the date that day. And they're like, "I thought you got your date later?" And they said, "Yeah, you know, it's great. I hope she likes me." And I said, "er, no, no, no. No, no you don't hope that she likes you. What you hope and you go into that date is that you hope you like her, and that she's good enough for you." Is a complete shift in perspective. That's the confidence shift in perspective, not outside what people think of me. No, what do I fucking think of them? Same thing with you know, I have a very calm again, confidence is all levels, you're gonna have really highly confident people that still have little pitfalls and blips. I know a very confident person, multi six figure salary, and they had a job interview recently, and the people were like, "Weren't getting back to them." And then they eventually were like, "Sorry, we chose someone else." And they were kind of feeling down about it. And I was like, you know, "Hey, man, like, there's just not the right. Well, like, why are you allowing this one interview out of a million interviews? You're already like, a top person in your industry? What's going on here? You know, we just took a little self talk to get out of it." Sometimes if I have to go speak to a large group of people, I don't really get nervous. But there are you know, you that heart rate gets up and you you have a moment. I mean ...

Lesley Logan  

Well you also care, like you care that you (Elle: You care about you do a good job.) that you do a good job.

Elle Russ  

Yes, on backstage. And you know what if I have that moment, I'm self talking. And that self talk looks like "bitch you signed up for this life. You wanted this. You sign up for this. You love it. You're good at it. Come on, man, you're gonna go out there and kill it go", you know what you do? You know what I mean? And it gets me out of my nerves. And then I just coach myself right back into it. It's not to say that there's not a blip that's going to happen. It's just how quickly do you want to recover and also smoothly move through life to draw boundaries. And, you know, I have a podcast called The Elle Russ Show, I not only interview people, but I also have a lot of solo episodes. And I just go check those out, because I have them on jealousy. And I have them on conflict, like all sorts of these issues, where I bring up specific examples of me drawing boundaries in my life at current time with people. It just makes for a smoother life and also direct clear communication. There's no passive aggressiveness, there's no covert contracts, you know.

Lesley Logan  

So can we ... Okay, so a couple of things. I love that you mentioned that you can blips because I do, we do have some perfectionist, listening. And they'll be like, if they have a blip, they're like, "I'm not a confident person." I was like, "No, it depe..." Just like first of all, like, I mean, we can we can get into it later because I want to go back to boundaries and but a direct conversation but you know, your thyroid is a hormone, your hormones can be off and that can affect you being 100% confident things. Right. Like if that's if you're if you're like actual body is off a little bit that can be but it's about ...

Elle Russ  

I suffered for seven years. I was not confident as my body was 50 pounds heavier. And I was bleeding blood clots throughout my, yeah, no, that was not fun. And I even say in my confidence book, like, "Hey, you can be confident without being healthy, but you're probably going to have a better shot when all the neurotransmitters are firing and all the things you know and I know about health, you're going to be at a better baseline and a better wherewithal to not only attack and go after your goals and dreams, but to have the emotional wherewithal to deal with these things." (Lesley: Yeah.) I also want to say one thing, there's a nuanced, an example that came up recently, that's very nuanced. I had a friend who gave me a cover letter to look over. And they were counter offering a job, you know, the job said, "Here, I want to give you a 250,000." And they were countering for more. And in the counter offer, I looked at it, and I saw a paragraph and I said, "Do you know which paragraph needs to be completely removed?" And he's like, "No, I don't I don't know." He couldn't see it. And it was a paragraph where he kept saying, "Well, my reality is such that I have a family of five, depending on my income. One is in college." Nope, nope, nope. You no one gives a shit it doesn't matter. If you spent your whole salary on cocaine and nft's. I don't, it's none of their business. Like, you don't give them, you give them the reasons why you deserve the salary, not the reasons why you need it. So that was just a low confidence thing that I caught in a very confident person overall, in their cover letter, and it was just immediately stood out to me, it was like you don't need to. And again, that's another part of confidence. We don't over, explain and justify.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I just had one in our coaching group we have, we were always encouraging them to raise their rates. And when you the first time anyone raises their rates, it's like the hardest thing in the whole world. And then once you do it one time, and you realize, like, no one really freaked out, and the ones that did you were like, thank God, they freaked out. You kind of get better and but the I'm always like, "Send me your email before you send it out. I want to read it." And of course, it always has a paragraph where they're like, "I've done all this education. I've been doing these things." I'm like, "No one cares. They don't care that you spend the money on your education. They don't actually they only care how you make them feel. So this entire para... you don't have to defend the rate increase. You literally say, Thank you ..."

Elle Russ  

Why you're worth it. You just say why you're worth it. Or just say (Lesley: Yeah.) why you're not even connecting it to money. But you're right, you don't reason out, like giving them financial reasons as to why it's just such a weak move. And we've all gotten that email, or you'd like to ask a friend or like, "Hey, you want to go to the show?" And you're like, "I would but see it's Thursday, I've got to take Sally to practice." Oh my gosh, shut up. We don't care. Just tell me whether they're going or not. And so most people don't even like being on the other end of it. And so no is a complete sentence, you know, or you just be like, you know, "I'm not available. Thanks for inviting me or I'm out of town. Thanks for the invitation." Catch yourself when you're going on along over explaining just you owe no money, nothing. Man, (Lesley: Yeah.) you know, I mean, just say no. And if they keep coming after you well, then that might be a problem you might be dealing with, like just a pain in the ass type of person you need to draw boundaries with. So over explaining (Lesley: Well real quick on the ...) overjustifying is a is a problem with non confident people. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

Let's go into like, direct communication around boundaries and like, top like, like, if no one complaints. And so that's a boundary, but for the people who find themselves wanting to explain a boundary or having a hard time upholding one. So I'm just like, what are what are like, I don't know, if I want signs and symptoms of like not upholding boundaries, if I want, like, how do you how do you do that for them?

Elle Russ  

You know, you got to be real careful when you are going to declare a boundary because you better keep it or else you are training people to continue to walk all over you. Now that's not to say you can't change course, for example, coaching a woman with confidence, she felt like her husband would make some snarky remarks about her entrepreneur business, and some other things. And before she would just snip back, you know, it was like tit for tat on the behavior. And so it's always weird when you're moving into becoming confident declaring boundaries, and maybe in a relationship where you haven't before. And now it's like, oh, who's this new person that just showed up? Like, you're not the wife I married, right? And so in those moments, you can always explain you can be like, you know, what, in the past? I did I did for ... and I apologize, because I also was kind of shitty and snarky. But you know what that ends today? You know, and sometimes it's just not even explaining why. So for example, if someone's patronizing to with snide remarks, or just patronizing, it would be I, if it were me, I would be like, "Hey, I am not going to be spoken to like that period, end of story. So either you stop or we're going to have a problem." Usually, that doesn't now if they did it again, "Hey, I thought I said last week, I'm not going to tolerate." You continue to repeat the same boundary declaration with the same sentence, clear one sentence, don't need to explain it. You did this, you did that, you know, you always do that. No, I'm not going to be spoken to like that. You know, (Lesley: I love that. It's ...) it has to be declarative. And the other thing too is, confidence and speaking up doesn't have to be contentious. A lot of people who have issues with confidence feel that they have a fear of speaking up because they fear retaliation or they fear like a negative scenario. A lot of these things can be brought up very lightly, you know like, "Oh, hey, you know what I was wondering." Right. Instead of like so let's say I there was an experience one time were friend, their dog died and it was like the love of their life and their boyfriend you know wasn't being maybe a snuggly or lovey through this sad time. And she was complaining about and I go, "Did did you did you ask for what you needed from him, instead of just blame him and assume he was a mind reader?" I mean, this happens a lot, right? (Lesley: Yeah.) And so she goes, "No, I didn't." And I go, you know, you could do. This is, the solution for that is going to her boyfriend and going, "You know what, honey? Like, I'm so sad over the doggy. And I'm just like, an emotional mess lately. And can you just give I need, like, extra snuggles. And I just need like, all the extra sappy stuff right now. Can you just like give that to me for a few weeks. I'm just in like this yucky place." I'm sure he'd be like, "Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah, thank you for telling me what to do." (Lesley: Thanks for telling me what you need.) It can be asked and that sweet way, not in the like, you know, our dog died and you don't hug me and you don't like that's not really going to get what you want, you know. So asking for what you want can be done in the right tone and the right way, sometimes even a joke, sometimes even a throwaway, you know, and that people take it so seriously, you don't need to go up and go, "We need to have a talk." You know, sometimes, (Lesley and Elle laughs) you know, sometimes it's just like, "Oh, hey, you know what, um, last week, blah, blah, blah, I didn't like you at that. Can do that differently next time. I'd really appreciate it." Like, you know what I mean? It can just be a declarative. You know ... (Lesley: I love this.) kind of thing.

Lesley Logan  

Because I, we work with a lot of people. And I'm like, you train people how to treat you, you really do. And if you're gonna break a rule, you have to acknowledge that you're breaking a rule. And while you're breaking the rule, so that it's not like you they like you assume that they understand you broke a rule and the rules back in place, once you've broken the rule. That's not how it works. Like, for example, I we have a policy at with my clients, it's like no late cancels. So if you late cancel, we charge you. Now there have been times where I've broken the rule. So I will say I'm breaking my rule. And I'm not charging you this time. (Elle: Fair.) And this is why and, you know, for whatever reason, oftentimes, it's like there's a death in the family, whatever, like something so extreme like they like I know, I'm not going to be an asshole about it. However, I've acknowledged I broken the rule, so that they know the rules still there. I know, I broke, I broke the rule. They know, I broke the rule, and we don't have to ...

Elle Russ  

You're owning it, and you are compensating for it. And I've done that too, because lateness is my pet peeve. It's like my ultimate pet peeve. And so but you know what, occasionally it happens to me, right? But it's very rare. But when it happens, I do compensate like you I make up for it. I won't charge for half the session, or I'll do something if something like that happens. One time I had a friend. We lived equidistance from a hiking trail, but she was always like, 15 20 minutes late. You know, we've lived in the same town for like, 20 years. Yeah. And I got really frustrated about it. So I finally spoke up and I said, "Hey, I got a question for you. Would you be late to meet with Steven Spielberg?" She's like, "Well, no." I go, "No, you wouldn't. Know you fucking wouldn't. So you need to treat me like I'm Steven Spielberg because I treat you that way. Enough is enough. It's been five times you've been late. If you can't figure it out. Or if something really goes wrong, then let me know you're going to be late. But for you to be consistently 15 20 minutes late to a hiking trail that's equidistant to us. It's just fucking rude. And you wouldn't do it to someone else." So you (Lesley: Yeah.) know, I treat everyone like they are a Steven Spielberg or whatever, whoever would be your (Lesley: Yeah.) I just threw out a name of a (Lesley: No. I ...) director, but that is really the truth. And so, but also too, I it happened recently, it's just like, once a couple of years, I completely blanked a coaching call, like I don't know where. I don't even know what happened and was like, on a day I normally don't coach ... (Lesley: I did this last week. I sort of ...) I was like, I was mortified. I am like mortified, completely made up for it. Coastal email sent on, you know, ... refunded half the money, you know, I mean, do whatever I can because I realized that this is just it's something that I hate. And then if I do do it accidentally, I acknowledge and then make up for that in every way because I know how frustrating it is to be on the other side of it too.

Lesley Logan  

Well, and I think like you, there's a confidence in that. It's like, "Oh, I never do this. I totally did it. I was just in the shower." I was like, "Oh, I could take a long shower. I don't have anything till 11". And then I looked at my phone like, "Oh, the call was at 10:30." And I was like, "Here I'm going to open up my schedule. We're gonna make this up. This is my fault, here's how I'm gonna handle it." And I didn't let it then I didn't go, "I can't believe I missed that call and then I mess this thing up." Like I didn't go into this tailspin of here's all the 17 things I did wrong. It's like I made a mistake. I rarely make mistakes. I made up for that mistake and so I can move on with the day because I'm confident in how I always show up and I'm consistent authentic in that. So I think like where people worry about upholding those boundaries is often they either don't know how to keep them consistently and so therefore that is a problem because like what if I can't keep this boundary and then I like it becomes this thing and or they they uphold it but then they play it in their head all day long about a upholding. "I should have said like this. If I said like that". How do you maybe it's in your court in your book or your course coming up? But like direct communication, if you're not used to doing that is like what's the ...

Elle Russ  

Start small. (Lesley: Start small. Okay.) Start really small. I'll give you a great example of someone who is in my I did a live confidence course before I did the virtual one. That's out and it's a great example of these small things, there is a woman who has seen the same hairdresser for like, you know, 10 years. And the hairdresser has, she wanted a blunt cut, like she just wanted someone to cut straight across on the bottom of her hair. And apparently, whatever was the fad, five years ago, the hairdresser had cut it like upwards and a jagged edge thing, and it didn't look good. And yet, Barbara didn't speak up. She's okay with me using her name. So she didn't speak up about it. So she kept getting the haircut she didn't want now people would go, "Well, that's stupid. Just ask for the haircut you want." But you know, when you're not confident, these little things are big things. And so we talked through it, I was like, "Alright, what are you afraid?" And this was one of those examples where she felt that it had to be contentious. She didn't need to go to a hairdresser and go, "You know, I asked you once and you didn't even know that I asked you but I wanted a blank cup and you keep giving me this jagged cut." Okay, when you approach it like that, that's a little critical, right? That's a little criticizing someone might have feel a little bit defensive. So this is what I told her to do. She did it. It worked. But I said, okay, well, I asked her this question. I said, "Well, first of all, you've known this woman a long time." She's like, "Yeah, like 10 years." Like, "Okay, great. Was there anything in the last haircut that she said? Or did like, did she have a daughter getting married? Did someone graduate? Is there anything you can remember to bring up?" And she goes, "Well, she gave me a new conditioner that I really liked." I'm like, "Great, put a pin in that we're setting that aside. And, you know, this will make sense in a minute." And then I said, "All you have to do is go up and make it a throw away something like, Hey, you know what I really want to try to do like the blunt cut. I know, it may take a couple times. But can we do that today? That would be great. I'd love to try that. Oh, and by the way, I love that conditioner you gave me." See because once you declare and you speak up about something, you are going to be inclined to keep talking, babbling, backtracking, (Lesley laughs) whatever. So get a, get us something to segue way out. What a throw away? Like, oh, hey, you know, whatever, you know, just like ... (Lesley: I love that.) very easy. And now that's a small thing. But you know, you start small with those things. Maybe you need to speak up about your steak not being cooked the right way. And it doesn't have to be I asked for medium and it's medium rare. It's like, "Oh, hey, you know what? I don't know what happened. But it's medium rare. Do you mind telling the chef to bring it back make a little bit more medium?" Or well, again, these things can be done in tones. And so Barbara did she went back to a person, the woman was like, "Oh, yeah, totally." I mean, it was a nothing. It can be in nothing. But it would have been something had she gone in there make and been like, so I asked you once you didn't listen. And you know, I mean, that's, that's ...

Lesley Logan  

So this, Elle, this is amazing. Because what I what I'm hearing you say is that, like, we can say what we want on our mind. It doesn't have to be a sit down conversation, and you can make people feel good while doing it. I hate sending food back. I really do. And I had no idea that I was kind of doing your thing, but I'll say, you know, I I think my medium rare is a little bit more medium than yours. And so no problem is there. But I'm loving the sweet potatoes. If I could just like if I could just be a little, I guess more medium for me. And they're like that you give them a compliment. And they're like, it's fine. No one's gonna spit in your food. No one cares. Like you're not they're (Elle: Right.) gonna come back and be kind everything's fine. And so it doesn't it can be fun. It can be like informative and you can (Elle: Right.) make you feel good in the pro... Yes. (Elle: Right.) So cool.

Elle Russ  

And then have an anchor out of it. If there's something like that where you can just, "Oh hey, by the way, oh and by the way," see it I'm saying then it makes no nothing. It makes no nothing, throw away they don't take offense to it and they just go, "Oh okay." And then you move forward. And it went really well. But again, here's the thing, Barbara's 58. (Lesley: Yeah.) You know, and she's actually incredibly confident and as an amazing health coach okay, but perfect and and she's confident that but there's an example (Lesley: Yeah.) you know, or and so here's the thing any boundary that you're not drawing or don't continue to uphold, you are then you don't have a right to bitch because you're a victim who's allowing it happened to you, you're allowing it, you never allow thing you don't have to answer the call. It's because you feel bad. You know, the other day someone that I know went on a date with someone and the second date they expressed something that was kind of a deal breaker to my friend, but my friend felt bad about it because it was sort of a insecure thing for that person. And they were like, "Ah, but I feel bad." I go, "So what are you gonna do? Go on another date with this person? Because you feel fucking bad. We don't date people because we feel bad about hurting their feelings."

Lesley Logan  

Well also that person would be so horrified if you find out that you're going on dates because you feel bad. Like I think ...

Elle Russ  

As a people pleaser thing by the way. I have a friend who did that as well. He talked to a woman for two hours he's a recovery, he's in recovery for people pleasing is really working on it. And when he told me this I said, "Ah people pleasing creeping up." He said, "I feel bad. I don't I liked her. I enjoyed our conversation, but I really don't want to meet her. But I know that why would you meet, why would you meet her? Well, I feel bad." I said, "Dude, you're going to be such an asshole for wasting her time and going out all for the purposes of you feeling like well, at least it's clearly out there in the real world. I had the stamp of she felt like I gave her a chance." Who cares if that is the people pleaser rearing going. I'm afraid of what people were gonna think of me even a stranger on the internet. I just talked for two hours so I don't know anything about and I'm gonna what? Maybe go out of my way to dress and drive and go on a date just to save face and spin. Like, what is this dance about? What a complicated life?

Lesley Logan  

Well, so it's, it's like on that friends episode we're Chandler kept going, "I'll call you later." And it's like, "Don't say that. If you don't mean it, just don't say it." Because then the person's like it, then you feel bad. You didn't call them because it's a whole thing we're playing. I think like, what I love is like, it's, it's being more honest with yourself, confidence being more honest with yourself around what you want. And then you start small, as you said, and then you know, we're gonna have blips, but it's about recognizing it, that you're having a moment and then like going back into it. Okay, we, I'm gonna have to have you back because we've gotten to the thyroid thing. And like, I feel like so many people ...

Elle Russ  

Whole separate thing on that. Yeah. Because your health based.

Lesley Logan  

Because like, as you mentioned, briefly, but like, when our health is off, it just doesn't like it just doesn't, you can do all so if you're listening this and you've got health stuff going on, you can do all the exercise in the world and there you're going to be going uphill battle because your body is just not able to sustain it and that brings its own imposter syndrome, lack of confidence issues.

Elle Russ  

Yeah. Horrible I suffered for years. I have such empathy for that. And I know what it's like so yeah, and happy to come on and do any kind of thyroid tutorial or whatever, whatever you need. But in the meantime, I do have a free confidence masterclass, a free thyroid masterclass, it's two hours, the confidence one is 90 minutes, I mean, you're gonna get a lot of good like in depth coaching on all of those things. And then I have virtual course courses corresponding to those. So you know, there's so much great free information out there. If you want to learn more like whether it's my books, you don't even have to buy the books. Go just google me on the internet. And you'll find interviews like this, and you just might learn enough there.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, so okay, so Elle are you, where's your place hanging out? Are you like on Instagram? What's what is your website? Where can people ... We'll put on the show notes.

Elle Russ  

You know, I'm on all the platforms. I'm on all the platforms, but I'm most active on Instagram, but you can just go to elleruss.com, e l l e r u s s.com. I also have some free giveaways. I have a free thyroid guide that gives you all the blood tests you need to get how to find the right doctor, you don't even need to buy my book to get on that too. Lesley: Great.) I have a free audiobook of meditations and affirmations with confidence, health, abundance, and a free paleo primal guide as well. Just a quick guide to like, what's this paleo primal thing? And how do I change my health? So there's some freebies up there, free master classes, and, you know, just lots of information. And I've been you know, been working for years to try to get out there like you just talking to as many people as possible not only have I been a podcaster for like, eight, nine years, but also I have been interviewed. And I love it. You know, half the time, there's people like I heard you on a podcast, I got the right test fixed. Fantastic, then you didn't need to buy my book. I had to spend so much money trying to filter guys bullshit, I'd rather have some just to be able to find it that easy. You know?

Lesley Logan  

I 100% because I've been in I've been in the shoes of like, just figure trying to figure out things my stomach. And finally someone's like, "Hey, you should talk to so and so." And then like, (Elle: And it's over.) so and so was $1,500. Yes. But then it was over. And so someone else mentioned, I'm like, "Just go, just go to this person. Skip here, just go to this person. I know, (Elle: Right.) it sounds like a lot, I promise you'll spend $10,000 not going to this person. So here you go." And so I hear, I thank you for all of your resources. And yes, we'll definitely have you back for thyroid. Before I let you go. You've given us so many, like direct examples. But for the person who does the TLDR. And to skip to the end, action steps, bold, executible ...

Elle Russ  

That's like me and all the home renovation shows. I just go right to the end.

Lesley Logan  

I know. I'm the person who watches the first episode of The Bachelor, and then the last one. (Lesley laughs) Who who made it to the end? And then ... (Elle: Yeah, survivor. Just first and last. Yeah.) Exactly. So bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us?

Elle Russ  

All right. Well, I mean, first of all, I would say look at some area of your life where you need to, well, here's the thing, you have to identify the pattern. What sucks? Like what sucks for you? Because it's going to be specific. Like do you always get fired from jobs? Or you're always patronized by bullies? Or are you always so find, at least do the research and not even stepping up just in yourself? What's a pattern that keeps happening to me? That doesn't happen to other people? Because, you know what? I guarantee you're gonna find something you're like, "Yeah, I always I always attract the cheating guy. But none of my friends do." Guess what you're the common denominator. So you can dig from there. And then is there something within there that you're not speaking up about, and again, you can start small. And when we're talking about downers, for example, maybe it's you always pick the phone up when that friend calls but they're kind of toxic, stop picking it up right away, call them back two days later, then you're spreading it. Now we're stretching, you know, you can edge out. But I will say this, if you don't get into this work, the patterns keep happening until you stop it. And also, even once you do speak up, you're gonna get a tester because just because you speak up that first time on that pattern of that thing. And you're like, "Ah, I got it, I finally got it." I guarantee you the universe is gonna throw you a test or to be like, "Did you really get it though?" (Lesley: Yeah.) So you're gonna bring it with you like if you're in a bad relationship and you can't speak up, you better solve it within that relationship because the next one the problem still gonna be there. (Lesley: Oh, yeah.) So, I would say start small, but try to start to identify at least and write down what are the things that I don't like about my life that seemingly keep happening? You know, because it's always that it's always something, I keep attracting these horrible girls, I keep running into health problems, I keep whatever the thing is, and you just dig back a little bit to see, where did that come from? Where am I getting that from? I also would say, you know, listen, go download my free audio book and start listening to some affirmations you know, in print your subconscious, there are so many free YouTubes and, and things that have to do with, you know, affirmations and just start to fill your subconscious mind with it. I would say though, the biggest thing is trying to detach yourself and not spend time with people that are toxic and judgy. And you know who they are because after hanging out with them, you don't really feel good. That's (Lesley: Yeah.) always say, you know how it is. You've been there with someone who was a friend at one point, and you're like, "Why I don't really feel great after hanging out with Sally?" And you're like, "Is it Sally's problem ..." So you know, (Lesley: Yeah. No.) moving away from downers. And then also, keep your dreams close to the vest. Whether you need to get an unbiased coach, a therapist or a buddy, that's fine. Stop telling Mary, stop telling the doubters about your excited goals and (Lesley: Yeah.) dreams and just shut it. I think Steve Harvey said, "Don't tell $100 people your million dollar dream." So I've learned in my own life, you know, we all know you know, you know you how it is, you call a friend. And they're like, "Yeah, ..." They're cheerleading you and then you go call someone else in your family or somewhere else and they're like, "You're gonna do that? I don't know if that's going to work." And it's kind of a downery and you're wanting them to be excited for you. (Lesley: They can't.) They are not going to be. Stop going to them. They can't. Go to the people that are like fostering and encouraging. And so again, the small steps are avoiding, detaching getting maybe a little less convos and time with those types of people. But then also looking at like, what are your pattern? So I mean, those are two first steps and I'm, you know, (Lesley: I love them.) if you took my confidence masterclass. I think there's a lot of juicy stuff in there that you'd be able to go, "Okay, I kind of get it, I got a similar scenario." You know?

Lesley Logan  

I love this so much. And I think for the person who's like, "Oh, but this but Mary." You can hang with Mary in a group. Because like, I have some people that if I that I didn't even know they were downers until I hung with them by themselves. And I'm like, "Oh, okay noted." This person ... is fine in a group, not one on one. And (Elle: Yeah.) now we know, we don't have to even go back to the conversation. We have to go, oh, and just going like, "Oh, learn that lesson." And I think that is really important, because I think some people mean, it needs never, it just means that that person might be better with buffers.

Elle Russ  

Yeah. And you know, I'll give a brief example I don't often give but and I can't say who it is, but I'll just put it this way. One of the most famous Academy Award winning actors I used to actually work with briefly and they I've realized what a downer pain in the ass this person was just an individual in this world and they wanted me so bad to work with them and pay me all this money to fly to this location to like just be there person to hang out with while they were on set. Any buddy in the world would have said yes. And I was like, "I'm not gonna fucking hang out with this person." No, no, because I'd be selling my fucking soul to go do with things for a means to an end. And frankly, I didn't trust the carrot that they were dangling in front of me for it anyway. But in general, most people would be like, "Why would you turn that down?" Because I don't want to be in that toxic energy. That's why despite how famous and what they could have done for my career and whatever it's not worth it because that's out of integrity. (Lesley: Yeah.) That's bullshit, that's me that I don't that doesn't feel right.

Lesley Logan  

Oh my God. Elle, you are fucking a badass. I mean you know that already but what I (Elle: Thank you.) what I really love ...

Elle Russ  

... you got a great personality. Fucking awesome. Love your confidence.

Lesley Logan  

Thank you. Words of affirmation are my love language. (Lesley laughs) (Elle: Me, too.) But I but I wrote what I love is like we, everyone listening if so many examples from dating to relationships, entrepreneurialism, see yourself in all of these things. And then tell us how are you going to use these BE IT action items in your life? What are your takeaways? Tag @_elleruss, tag the @be_it_pod. Share this with a friend. You can share this with your downer friends, you don't have to tell them that they're the downer. You're gonna say, "Hey, I heard this amazing podcast on confidence. Here you go." (Lesley laughs) And so you know because honestly, like we can have a bigger effect on people around us without having those confrontational conversation, it can be a throw away, it can just be like, "Hey, you might like this. "And you know until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Elle Russ  

Thank you.

Lesley Logan  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!  

 'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'. 

Brad Crowell  

 It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.  

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.  

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.  

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can.

Brad Crowell  

 And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

It’s time to level up. If you have doubts about coaching, personal or business you are not alone. Let Brad and Lesley, recap their experience with finding the right coach, the benefits of coaching, and how a mentor can boost your biz. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• The value in hiring a coach and continual growth
• How to get clear when looking for a coach
• How to avoid making decisions based in fear
• The various forms that coaching can come in 
• The signs showing internal chaos

Episode References/Links:

• Goodman Coaching Website
• Relentless Growth Podcast

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the growth oriented convo I had with Chris Goodman in our last episode. I mean, like it could have been the fear fear, like a fear freeing convo, like a ... free of fear convo. It was such a fucking great conversation. (Brad: It was amazing.) And one of the first times ever I was with you not listening to the episode but listening to you listen to the episode. And I just smiled because I was like, "Yes, so fucking good." It was fucking good episode. So if you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now, go back and listen that one and then come back and join us. Okay, so today, if you're listening this in real time, thank you so much for being on top of it. (Brad: Oh yeah.) We are, we are welcoming our new batch of Agency members, which is so fun. They're actually in what we call like Slack Mini. (Brad: Yeah.) And they are like in a little training playground with each other, like learning how to use the, use of the tools, how to figure out where to find all the things and then they graduate. And so hopefully by tomorrow, most of them are meeting all of our Agency members who are so excited to see them because we we just love when the community grows. It's so fun.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, so seriously, a big thank you for trusting us and also a big congratulations for believing in yourself and your businesses. And welcome to Mini. Welcome to Agency, I mean.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, welcome to Agency. And then and now, not then, but now. Technically now. We're literally in the middle of our our retreat here at our house but for Profitable Pilates, this is our business retreat for fitness instructors. And we have the coolest group like it is just a really intimate, awesome group. They're sharing house together like it's so freakin fun. Monica is going to be here in a couple of days to take their pictures. Monica from Girl Squad, you'll know her I think she's from episode I want to say 13. But I could be if I pulled that number out correctly, I'd be so proud of myself (Brad: I'm not to look.) (Lesley and Brad laughs) Yeah, so anyways, she's a badass, and we love her. And so she's our photographer for the retreat, and she's taken all their headshots. And then while he's looking that up, we're like, we're like, two weeks away from getting on a plane. (Brad: Close.) What was, what was it?

Brad Crowell  

Episode 9

Lesley Logan  

Oh, oh, it's so close. It was so weird. As soon as I said 13 that word nine hemline number and as it wasn't 19 I think that was Clare. Oh, well, I was so close. Well, 13 was great too, whoever that was. It's amazing. But we're about to leave for Cambodia for our retreat there and somebody who people have been asking like when it is going to be in 2023. And the truth is, is that I haven't planned that yet. Because I actually we're gonna plan a 40th birthday party for myself. And we have a trip to Cabo, which may or may not become the birthday. I'm not I'm not entirely sure in this exact moment. And so we got to plan some vacations before we plan our next retreat, because those are not our vacations. Those are your vacations. And so you want to get on the waitlist for the Cambodia retreat. If you want to know when the 2023 one is.

Brad Crowell  

Right, you have to get on the waitlist. So if that's something you're interested in, just go to lesleylogan.co/retreat

Lesley Logan  

I know I saw you look at me like, "What waitlist for ..."

Brad Crowell  

They are, no, you said those are your vacations and it took me a minute to put together that you've not, we're working when we go on retreat. (Lesley: Yeah.) Yeah. (Lesley: We are.) It's like (Lesley: You, you...) because you were just talking about our vacations to Cabo, and then I got very confused. (Lesley: Yeah.) But it's okay. We're good.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I mean, it's fun. It's like the funnest work we could do. But we are...

Brad Crowell  

Oh, it might be one of my favorite things to do. But it is full, a very very full week for us ...

Lesley Logan  

You aren't running up in downstairs making sure breakfast is ready. Making sure tables are where they need to be like your your cons... you're like talking to all of our vendors all the time. Like it is beautiful. And I, and when we get to the temples, I am on vacation. And I'm also counting heads. I'm like, "How many heads do we have? Is everyone here? Anyone wander off in the temple? Okay." (Lesley and Brad laughs) It's so fun. So anyways, get on that waitlist, so you can be the first to know because our space our house only holds so many people. So we want it to be you. Okay.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, but first, we had an audience question today. And the question was actually about being business owners, you've heard us talk about the fact that we constantly have coaches in our corner, constantly reaching out to us or, you know, working with us and we're, you know, reaching out to them asking questions, all the things and but we've been doing that now for many years. And the question was, "Why, why do you keep doing it? And like, if you got coaching, do you need to keep getting coaching?"

Lesley Logan  

Well, I love this question. And in fact, I'm gonna use one of our coaches, comments, which is be a product of your product. So if you aren't what that means is if you're a coach, you have a coach, if you're a Pilates teacher, you have Pilates teacher.

Brad Crowell  

That was Chris.

Lesley Logan  

No, Jill said it to us.

Brad Crowell  

Oh, good. Well, (Lesley: Yeah.) Chris, also said it in the interview.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, no, like I (Brad: Yeah.) it's, and it's and they keep saying it because it's true. And it's, and here's the reason like, you will, you will encounter, we've talked about video games before with like you like, learn some of the little devil guys and then you beat them. And then you learn the next level and you beat them and you see all of them in the castle with the princess and fragment Mario and Luigi, and then you see all the ones you've already dominated. And then you have a bigger one that you have the confidence to take on and I got the new level, you have this new level, and there's like new things, don't you want a guide to be like, "Hey, use this thing over here instead of this or would you prefer to wander around in circles, trying to figure it out on your own." So hiring a coach, and you keep hiring them because at some point, unless they're continuing to grow, you get to a level where they are at, and then they go, "Get out of my nest and go into someone else's." And it's, and it doesn't happen for everybody because sometimes like we are with one coaching group where like, they continue to uplevel their offerings and services so that as we grow, there's another level for us, similar for us in Agency, I think we do a really good job bringing in coaches to help our members who've been with us for many years to take on their next level in a very cost effective way compared to like with hiring those people could be outside. But I think you if you are a teacher, you have a teacher, right? Like you look at lawyers, they take continuing education, doctors take continue education, why do they keep taking continuing education, because there's more things to learn.

Brad Crowell  

Or also even CC's if you're, you know, fitness person, continuing education credits.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, lawyers have to take things, ... my mom goes to some sort of educational thing all the time. So the truth is ...

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, she's a first grade teacher. Yeah. (Lesley: Most ...) Oh, even my, my dad, he's, he's an accountant. And he would go to the ... (Lesley: Yeah sometimes ...) some big accounting work conference every year. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So the truth is, is that we, the more we get to help people, and the more we get to see where they're growing, the more we can see where we're growing. And hiring coaches to help us get there. Not even necessarily faster, but it is but also with like, less pain and angst of growing like, because they're like, "Hey, why don't you try it like this? Instead of but." I love that idea. It's a little bit too many things. Like why don't just get rid of that, go to that you're like, "Oh, well, thanks for saving me 17 hours building up those things I didn't need."

Brad Crowell  

I was gonna say, when I was starting my Amazon business, my partner told me, he's like, "Dude, I know myself. I am the person who is the perfectionist who needs to make sure that I'm not doing it wrong." Notice, we didn't say we're doing it right in there. But there's that fear, so of not doing it wrong. And he said, "I will be the one who spends 500 hours watching YouTube videos. I would much rather just talked to this guy, who already built a full course, to take a step by step through the process than to spend 500 hours watching videos." So we spent 1000s of dollars to access this course and then have access to this person who had been where we were, so that he didn't have to spend, you know, I mean, and I think that's an incredibly, you know, realistic argument, because he's not alone in that. And also, he knew himself really well. (Lesley: Yeah.) Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I think I think the more you know yourself, the easier it is to hire a coach too, because then you know, the right coach they get for yourself, and it's, and please, please, please, if you're looking into getting a coach, make sure you're really clear on what you're looking for, and ask people around you who are doing the things that you want to be doing, if they work with a coach and who it was. So like, you can just shorten the research process, but you should only get on a phone call with them, or you should be able to read some testimonials by them. And, you know, you you there is a level of trust that you have to have right off the bat with this coach, that is a little bit like scary, because it's a big investment. You don't know if this investments gonna be like have the ROI. But if you if you are really if you go all in and you believe you'd be surprised, like how much you can get even from coach or like, I'm not really ...

Brad Crowell  

I mean, yes 100%. But I don't even think that that's, you know, the I have definitely got into skepticism before. No question. But I have certainly believed that that coach has served others very well. (Lesley: Yeah.) Right. They have a track record. Right. And so I think that the most of the question is like, "Is it gonna work for me?" Even when you pull the trigger already and you hire a said coach, the question really comes down, "Is it gonna work for me?" And you know, I can't speak for everybody else's program, but I can, I can say that instead of Agency, we are very intentional about accountability. And, you know, some people get frustrated at us, which is I find plenty. I mean, it's telling, you know, because I'm that person too. I'm like, damn, you know, and ...

Lesley Logan  

You procrastinate so long, you missed out on the accountability boundary, and then you're they're frustrated and frustrated with yourself but you're frustrated at the process that was holding you accountable in the first place. (Brad: Yeah.) I get that.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. And then anyway, you know, so so most of the coaches that you would be investigating, have a track record, and you can, you know, see testimonials and you could ask them about their experiences. So do that before you sign up if you have any skepticism.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. And you know, and, and you don't, I'm not saying if you go and hire a coach today, or you have to hire a business coach even. But it's always nice to have we've talked about this and I forget which episode and it was James out to share it but Brad never found the episode, but it was definitely him. I'm not going to take it from him. It was plus, equals minus, we all have to people that are above us, we have the people that are level, and we have people below us. Brad and I were just in Nashville we had we were with our coaches who are above us. We, they were taught, they're guiding the conversation, we were networking with people who are equals, and all of us there have some process program that coaches people who are not where we are yet. (Brad: Right) And so what's really cool when you're when you hire someone who is your plus, you take the guessing game out, and maybe it's in life, and maybe it's in business, or maybe it's something else, you know, maybe it's a meditation could be having someone who is further ahead in something that you're interested in, really does help you feel secure, even when you feel insecure.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, and it doesn't just have to be in business. Growing up, I was always a firm believer of a mentor. Right. As opposed to today, I hire a business coach, they're the same thing. But with a mentor, I was willing to share my life, intimate details of my life with people in authority. When I was really young, it was a pastor, or even a youth pastor. And then, as I got into college, it was my professors, some of them, you know, and then after college is when really, it became more mostly focus about business and less about my personal life, until I hired an executive coach. And he was like, you know, "Hey, look, all that stuff you're gonna be able to figured out, we need to talk about you." And I was like, "What?" (Brad and Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan  

But that's also why you have someone to kind of remind you, "Hey, that's actually let's go talk about you." (Brad: Yeah.) So speaking of coaching, if you don't work with us, or you hire someone else, maybe you end up falling for Chris's guidance, and he's got some coaches on the team. So let's talk about Chris Goodman.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. When Chris isn't kayaking, or watching the six, his six month old daughter, Chris Goodman can be found coaching entrepreneurs and CEOs, or recording a new episode for his podcast, Relentless Growth, which we'll throw into the show notes. He is on a mission to help clients find their own personal vision of freedom, fulfillment and impact on a global scale. He brings 15,000 plus hours of coaching and training to every conversation that he has, and has a reputation for asking tough, transformative questions in an approachable way.

Lesley Logan  

Agreed. Agreed on that bio. (Brad: Yeah.) Like I cosign. (Lesley and Brad laughs) Well, one thing I loved was a decision rooted in fear will create results rooted in fear and like, don't we know this, like, it's the same thing if you plant, if you plant a seed in soil that is like has no nutrients, it's not growing, you can water it all you want. It's not gonna grow. So it's like ...

Brad Crowell  

That's an interesting analogy. I like that. (Lesley: Yeah. So um, so I, I think ...) We, you know what, let's, let's make that a little bit even more real. We moved into our house a couple years back, and the backyard was completely empty. And it was really, like, actually, annoyingly empty, and I and it was like, we need to plant some stuff here. (Lesley: Looks really weird.) It just a big box. It was so strange. And, and so we started getting palm trees. And my, I asked around, and we found a landscaping guy and I said, "Hey, man, I don't actually know what I'm doing here. I need help. You know, and would you be willing to come work with us." And he told me, "Oh, man, palm trees like, you know, they're, they're impossible to kill. These things are amazing trees. You can plant them anywhere and they're gonna survive." And I was like, "Amazing." So we ended up getting, I don't know, a half dozen or a dozen off of Craigslist and Facebook marketplace and like just through word of mouth have like people like, "I don't want these anymore. Get them out of my yard." And I was like, "Great." So we would go and get these trees and plant them. And we put one in the corner in the back of the yard area, and it died. And I was like, "How come all these other trees are blossoming, they're going just fine. But this, this one just you know didn't make it." And because when I planted it, it was like medium height compared to the other ones. It should have been just fine. And I, I was talking to a neighbor one day. And I said, "I don't get it. This is so weird." And she said, "I think I know." She said years ago, there was a pool in this backyard. And that is where all the pool equipment was stored at right next to that. So I wonder if there was chlorine that leaked into the soil.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, that's so fascinating. That is (Brad: So) so fascinating. So yeah, so just to tie that back, you know, when you are making decisions and about anything, if you have fear around them, before you officially make that decision. Can you have a little rubber band around your wrist? Snap it and then like, take a moment because ...

Brad Crowell  

You need to do something to clear the chlorine.

Lesley Logan  

You need to clear the chlorine. (Brad: Yeah.) You need, you do and and you need to get rid of that fear. And maybe it's meditation, maybe it's going to take time, maybe it's gonna go take who knows, but you have you, you can have the best, you can make the best decision. But if you are in fear, when you're making it, the actions you're going to take are not going to be the actions that get you the result you want. So I just love that. What did you love that he said?

Brad Crowell  

Well, it's funny, I guess we rolled right into it. He also said, is it possible, he asked is it possible to outlearn fear. And then later on in the conversation, he he said maybe we should say outgrow fear instead of outlearn fear. And he talks about his own experience with his coaches because he's still, you know, again, he's a product of his product. And he, he said, you know, when he gets to a new place with his company, where now he's like hiring coaches and stuff, and he never had that before. So now he's, you know, encountering new obstacles. It's, it's still, you know, he goes through this process of fear. And he said, that's when he goes back to his coaches, and they sit down and talk. But this idea of outgrowing fear, he said, he's beginning to recognize it in his own thinking a little bit more today and help him you know, snap that rubber band as it were, to kind of reset, where before he might actually this wasn't this was really interesting. And I'm gonna, I'm gonna kind of roll this in. I really loved what he said, So should I just not have fear? Should I not feel the fear?" And he said, "No, no, we don't want to nullify your humanity." He said, "You should experience you know, all the feels." Right. Like Lesley says, feel all the fields. You should be happy, sad, angry, afraid, joyful, exuberant, every, you should still feel all the feels. He said, but where we have a choice is how long do you feel the feels? (Lesley: Yeah.) Right. And so if you are, when you encounter fear, how long do you want to stay in that moment of fear? Because it could be I mean, holy hell, I remember with my old job. I, I was effectively in a perpetual state of stress, which is like equivalent to fear. Right. Like perpetual for months.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, (Brad: years) I think a lot of people are, I think a lot of people are for years, they're constantly afraid the next year is going to drop. And so it's like, what I love that we talked about in that whole segment was like, sort of notice when you're feeling that, and then you can speed up the process of getting out of it faster. (Brad: Yeah.) And I and I, I do think that like, you can get to a point where you almost can laugh and that fear comes from like, "Oh my God." Okay, (Brad: Yeah) maybe and if you have any here, right, here's what we're gonna do. And it will be for different fears you may be for some things, I can catch them really quickly when it comes to our business. Oh that's my fear right there. With other things that might be with like family or health or like that you might still be learning what those signs are. So just give yourself permission to to be aware. So and I think that we'll go into our BE IT items. So I'm gonna, I'm gonna let us roll into that. 

Brad Crowell  

Okay, all right. Finally, let's talk about those BE IT action items. What both, executable, intrinsic and targeted action items can we take away from your conversation with Chris Goodman? I think that we, we covered some of this already, but find a coach and commit to it. Right. Be a product of your product. And we especially at the beginning, when we were asked answering the question, "Why do you still have a coach?" I think we cover that pretty intentionally. But, you know, this is, this is something you have to seek out, you have to go actually, you know, look for a coach. And like I said, at the beginning, it doesn't have to be business coaching, it could be ...

Lesley Logan  

It could be any mentor, it could be a life coaching.

Brad Crowell  

Life coaching. I mean, and the idea of life coaching is always weird, because it's a very amorphous thing. But if you do have a pastor, who you know, is, you know, relatable, that could be a life coach for you, or that could be a coach for you.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, there's, there's so many different kinds out there. And you may have need a coach for different parts of your life. So that's, I think, I agree with that BE IT item. I loved it.

Brad Crowell  

What about you?

Lesley Logan  

Learn to witness your own thoughts, which just goes back into what you were talking about, be aware of what is happening inside, you don't have to live in a state of misery. So, so not... like, notice, sometimes you might not notice the thoughts before you notice the feelings like I, if I start to live in a stressed out state, my body starts to tell me sometimes before my mind does, and so you ...

Brad Crowell  

Actually breath. (Lesley: Oh) Right. Chris was talking about breath (Lesley: Yeah) and the shortness of breath, and the shortness of your words, the explosiveness of the words.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, if you if you if you are like doing just fine, and then you read something, and then you snap at the next person you talk to, that's your sign, something that's going on ...

Brad Crowell  

If you're if you suddenly yell at the dogs. (Lesley: Yeah, yeah.) And you were chill a minute before, whatever it is, you know, you're taking it out on your dogs. Right? Like, yeah.

Lesley Logan  

100% 100%. So I think, like, start to just witness if you haven't, if you're unsure of what what state is what in your body, just start to, just take a week where like, this is what I'm gonna focus on. I'm just gonna focus on how I'm reacting to things. And you're not going to fix it overnight. But you get to and as we already talked about, you're not going to outlearn it, but you are going to be able to speed up the process to which you get out of the state of the misery that you're in. (Brad: Yeah.) So I'm, I'm obsessed. I really, I'm so glad we got to finally have him on. (Brad: And it was great great great episode.) It was so fun. Chris, thank you so freakin much. Okay, everyone, how are you going to use these tips in your life? What did you use? What were your takeaways, what our takeaways, your takeaways? We want to know tag to @be_it_pod. And, I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell  

I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan  

Thank you so much for joining us. We are so grateful. Tag us on the pod, write us review. Let us know what your favorite episode is and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell  

Bye for now.

Lesley Logan  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day! 

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.  

Brad Crowell  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.  

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.  

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can. 

Brad Crowell  

 And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Are you living in fear mode? Do you even recognize the signs of fear that are impacting your choices? Chris Goodman is bringing this growth oriented conversation all about outgrowing your fear, learning to recognize what your mind is saying, and living future focused. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How you limit the one on one coaching and still increase biz.
• Where does the fear trip you up?
• Recognizing how fear and anxiety shows up in your life.
• Is it possible to outlearn a fear?
• The value in coaching to grow in a specific direction.

Episode References/Links:

• Follow Chris on IG
• Goodman Coaching Website
• Relentless Growth Podcast

Guest Bio:

Chris Goodman is a leading life coach for entrepreneurs and CEOs. His clients include real estate moguls, influencers, Olympic athletes, coaches, and small business owners across dozens of industries. He brings 15,000+ hours of coaching and training to every conversation, and has a reputation for asking tough, transformative questions in an approachable way.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Okay, so my Be It listeners. I am so excited for you to listen to this interview. I'm so excited. I am jumping for joy to be honest. I'm blushing a little with just like I've had this person's name on the list of people I want to talk to for a really long time. He probably is listening going "we could have talked sooner" . Which ... but I his talk that he did in 2019 really impacted me in a way that no other talk about fear had. Like it, I understood it in a way that I had never felt understand it before. I could articulate it, I could catch myself, I could actually do it. I could I could do the things he's going to tell you to do, in a way that I never really could before and I was living in this life where I had all these amazing ideas, but fear was paralyzing me and if you are feeling stuck, if you are feeling like I have amazing ideas and you get stuck, you know you hear it in the intro. I hope you hear it in the intro. You might skip forward and that's okay. No, I'm not I take no offense, but we I say it in the intro. You know, action is the antidote to fear and clarity comes from action. But it's really hard to do that when the fear is greater than you. And so, I have an amazing coach for you. I've been, he's got such great words. You're going to want to save this episode. Put it on replay, share it with a friend. Here is Chris Goodman.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

All right, Be It listeners, I am so excited. I have been talking about Chris to you guys since I think the first podcast and I'm sure he, I don't even know that he knows what an impact his talk gave. But I'm going to tell him right now. So he spoke to a group I was in a Mastermind, I was in with Chris and Lori Harder about the fears, like the five fears that we all go through. And it made so much sense to me, and really, like helped me understand like, which fears I was operating from, and it changed my world. And I was actually in Australia at the time, Brad was here and in states and he was watching and Brad's like, "I don't think I have any fears." And Chris, like, kind of call him out a little bit. And it was so and like the kindest ways you're gonna see. So I'm just really excited because you made a massive impact on our lives and how we talk to people, and now you're here in their ears. So Chris Goodman, thanks for being here.

Chris Goodman  

My pleasure. I feel so warm and cozy with that introduction and thank you. It's always great to know that, you know, when you set out to help people as a coach that there are people like you guys who really not just get it turned around and share that that knowledge or that transformation with somebody else, so they can change their life to. That, that's fantastic.

Lesley Logan  

Well, I think, you know, we tell people a lot of times like some people like I can't afford a coach and I can't afford this. And it's like, even if you are listening to someone speak, if you treat it like you paid for it, you treat it like it's something and we did pay for that, but but when you treat it like that, you can you can learn from people all over the world. So Chris, what are you, what are you up to these days? I haven't seen you in three years.

Chris Goodman  

Yeah, it's been so long. So so much has changed since we last talked, we moved out of California, we're back in we live in Louisville, Kentucky now. So if you're anywhere from that area, you know how I just pronounced that. I can tell immediately if somebody's not from here because they'll say Louisville or Lewisville, (Lesley laughs) we all say it like we've got a bunch of bourbon and marbles in our mouth. It's just Louisville. So we've moved back here though, because our family is here. And when Lindsey and I just started, decided to start having children. We didn't want to be 2000 miles away from our support network kind of thing. So we moved back, we now have a six month old daughter named Eva. (Lesley: Oh, my God.) As I speak, I think being laid down to take her second nap of the day. So that's definitely the biggest change, changed everything in my life real fast. So that's been fun. And we're celebrating our third wedding anniversary here next month. We had just gotten married the last time we saw each other. (Lesley: Yeah.) So that's how fast that happens. (Lesley: Wow.) Yeah, yeah. And Business is great. I have three parts to my business, the podcast, what we call Breakthrough Coaching. And the Mastermind, I do still have some one on one clients, I limit those to about five or six spots. But so between the Mastermind, the podcast and a an introductory level one on one coaching, it's basically an agency model, right? I have coaches that I've trained and they work with people who haven't quite risen up to the level of my coaching just yet. So things are busy, things are fantastic. And now we're looking at how do we, you know, the perennial question, how do we help more people?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Okay, so I definitely want to get into all the fear stuff that you know, you're gonna such knowledge, but I have. So I have a couple questions because I think a lot of people go from like, you were doing mostly one on one to now you're, you're limiting how many one on ones. And what was, was that easy to do? (Chris: No.) Was there fears around that? Like, what was what was the bridge that you had to do? Because that is the ... how do you help more people eventually, like we have a ton of people listening who are fitness instructors, they do a lot of one on ones who get limited really quickly. And then it's like, "Well, how do I create more of me?" So how did you do that?

Chris Goodman  

Well, I think it's gonna look different for everybody because you know, a coaching business or any kind of service based business that requires your one on one attention, at least in the beginning. It's so intimate, and it's so easy to let that business get tied right into your identity, or right into what you love to do. And that's been my sort of case for the last five years. I love one on one. All day long I could sit and coach one on one go one to the other and not get bored with it. So this has been actually an exercise in my own growth to get out of that that comfort zone and start to stretch and say like, "Yeah, you could do this and you can have fun doing it. But will you learn as much as if you tried to scale it this way or that way." So it hasn't been fast I have, I'm sure most of your listeners are like this, because they're listening to a growth oriented podcast. I like my growth fast. Right. (Lesley: Yeah.) I'm not super patient with my own growth, I can be patient with other people all day long. When it comes to me, though, I want it right now. So this has definitely been an exercise in patience, and, you know, scaling for the long haul, looking at that marathon perspective of what's best for my clients, myself, my future self, my family, and how I scale out of one on one into things like a mastermind, or hiring other coaches and training them. So it's probably more than you needed. But that's, that's ...

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. No, but I love that because it's like, I think it's really easy for some people to look at what you're at right now. And I go, I can't like, that's not possible. How did like, how did that happen? You know, and I think, either they think it happened really fast, you snap your fingers and like, viole-la, it just all worked out. Or that's how you started out. And it's not usually true. Most people start out with the one on ones. And then there's these growing pains of that it is a long process of trying to figure out how do you coach people to to be the best version of themselves, but do things the way that you would want them to be ... (Lesley laughs)

Chris Goodman  

Absolutely. And I would encourage anybody that's comparing themselves to someone who has experienced rapid growth or rapid scaling, to call that person up and ask them about their profitability. (Chris laughs) Because some of the people, including in the coaching space that I've seen scaled the fastest, have a 5% margin if that. So if that's what you're going for, great, you know, more power to you. However, just don't let that comparison eat you up, because you don't have all the facts there. Right.

Lesley Logan  

Thank you for saying that because that's I would, you know, I remember even going back to like Chris and Lori, I was in there, my first mastermind with them. And they mentioned, she mentioned like people having like these six figure launches, and she's like, "I'm not having a six figure launch. I'm having like, high five figures, but that's not happening." And then she found out like, they were also spending like 75% of what they made on ads. So they actually weren't making six figures or making like, you know, not that 25,000 isn't like anything to throw away. But like, that's a (Chris: Yeah.) that's that's not you don't have all the facts is what you're is exactly what you're saying. I definitely had to learn that like, of course, I want things to go faster, got bills to pay, I got people on payroll, but at the same time, like I also need to be profitable, so that when ish hits the fan, when things change, when stuff goes out of your control, you know, you can actually sustain for a little bit while you try to figure things out.

Chris Goodman  

And that's the fun part about being a business owner, right as you're, you're building that plane on the way down and figuring that out. So comparing yourself to someone else's plane on their way down. Not really a great way to spend your time.

Lesley Logan  

I love that you call that fun. That's a fun thing about being a business owner is just like, like literally being in the air with an airplane and trying to build it as ...

Chris Goodman  

That weird just crazy enough to sign up for that kind of daily life. Right. (Chris laughs)

Lesley Logan  

Okay, so, alright, so something that I would love for you to share our listeners with, if you if you can, is, is about fear, because I actually think that's the biggest thing holding people back from doing everything, right, like anything that it can it can, they can have the best ideas and like the fear of just, for what we see a lot in our listeners was like fear of rejection, or fear of loss. So like, specifically, I coach a lot of Pilates instructors, and like, I'm like, "You have to raise your rates." I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna raise it $2." And I'm like, "Okay." (Chris: Yeah.) They're like "I'm afraid I'll lose clients." And I'm like, "Over $2?" Over $2. Right. So can we talk about these fears? And like, how are they hindering us? And like, what are they keeping us from?

Chris Goodman  

Oh, just everything you want. Happiness, peace, joy, profitability, success, family time, personal time. (Lesley: Yeah.) You know, I agree, I think it's, it's probably safe to say it's the one thing that holds every human on the planet back in some capacity. So we can we can kind of revel in that, roll around in that and enjoy that because it's like, oh, this is not unique to me. I'm not some, you know, freak of nature that it has to endure this particular type of suffering that only I understand. That's not the case at all. So I would like to start at that foundational level that every single person is experiencing some sort of fear, whether they know it or not. And it boils down to, I know, we had talked about five types of fear before but it really boils down to two types of fear. At the end of the day, fear of loss, fear of gain. So your clients sometimes will experience both simultaneously. Right? I'll, if I gain a few more dollars, I'll lose all my clients. And you see that, that well you see the person experienced this like they are in a spiderweb. I can't move because if I move this way, I'm going to bring down the thunder and the spider, right, if I move this way, I'm going to screw it up too. And so they don't move at all, they get stuck in between the fear of gain and the fear of loss. Instead of realizing that neither of those fears have any teeth, it's all in our head. Right. Because that thing hasn't happened yet. You didn't raise your rates and lose all your clients. You're living in the future, not necessarily reality. Right. So when we coach people to start monitoring their thoughts, and catching this when it happens, like, oh, this is where I get freaked out, you know, every time I go to do this, that that particular voice in my head, I know it sound, make people sound like they have multiple personalities in that way. (Lesley laughs) But we do have those voices in our head. Don't we? That the one (Lesley: Yeah.) that goes, "Don't do that, you'll lose all your clients. Don't do this, you'll go bankrupt." Right. "Don't do this, you'll be alone for the rest of your life." I think that's the actual technique that we need to discuss is catching that in the moment. (Lesley: Yeah.) And just witnessing that with innocence, with neutrality, with curiosity. Oh, this is when I get scared. Oh, that voice is trying to scare me into doing something or not doing something and giving some space to yourself there. It feels really wonky at first like learning how to surf or learning how to ride a skateboard and you're not going to be great at this the first few times give yourself some grace. However, the faster you can catch yourself in the moment, the faster you can choose a healthier way out that doesn't involve so much pain and suffering or fear.

Lesley Logan  

... I do understand why when you say like it's not like multiple voices in our head. ... we'd kind of do, like we have the some of the fears or voices of people who've put fears on us when we were kids. Some of the fears are like from when you were a little kid and something that like there's these different reasons why you have these fears and but I understand that I and I the catching is the interesting part because I also think you can get really good at it and then you can also like almost regress and like pretend like you don't know because I caught myself out. So okay, well backstory, we have been we've been in like supply chain nightmare with our product with flashcards. So most people know and also has been to get we have a deck of flashcards, exercises, and with the person we order with, they have someone who does the boxes, it's a different company. So when we get in line, we're in line with that company, then we're into that company's timeline and that company's supply chain, and then our printer and our fulfillment house. He does the cards and he hosts all the products and ships that offer us, just amazing. Well, this summer of course we hit supply chain issues with the boxes, then with the cards and then the card guy is like, "You know what, I'm going to buy the machine that makes the boxes so I'll have to put you in line with that person." Great. That's amazing. Sounds awesome. Multimillion dollar machine, like the length of half a football field, humongous. (Chris: Wow.) Like, "But now I gotta move my warehouse." And I was like, "So do we have to do this right now? Can you just like use the old person still. Like, can we just do that anyways." So we're in we're delayed, right? And we've been trying to get hold of like, what is the date cuz we want to have this big launch party, one of this big thing got to plan things. And so we were told who weeks ago would be on September 9. And then you know, it's Labor Day and I'm like, "Hey, did we get confirmation?" Obviously not today because Labor Day. So Tuesday after Labor Day, we're like, "Hey, what's going on?" They're like, "Yeah, we think it's gonna happen." I was like, "Oh, I ..." (Chris: Yeah.) So like, the moment I hear that I'm across the house. So I'm ... I'm in my office. I hear Brad talking. I was like, "Okay, can we get some confirmation little more solidified." By the time I'm now over to his office I'm like, we're gonna like disappoint everyone all again. Like it's just gonna like be a nightmare. This is going to fall flat, I go down the hall. Now I have a fear because I'm like, "Oh crap, if we have to bump the launch it's going to affect this other thing we've got going on. How we do that?" By the time right in the shower. I had this like full blown like everything is going to go wrong. And then I, I took the shower and I was like, "Actually it's probably going to be fine. Like what's what are we what are you worried about here?" So it's so funny (Chris: Yeah.) because like your the fears can go so quickly, the conversation can happen like at lightspeed but if you are aware at catching it, like you can also catch it that fast and like by the time I got dressed, the whole thing was over with and it's fine. It's all everyone and by the time you heard this, it shipped fine. It was all done.

And do you feel the stress like gone out of your shoulders and you (Lesley: Yeah.) feel at ease again? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, it is. It's like a ...

Chris Goodman  

Well, it's fascinating, isn't it? Because you know, when when clients have never experienced coaching and they get started with us, this is obviously one of the first things we have to take them through because it's inevitable. If you're actually out there experiencing life, especially if you're building a business, you're going to have new fears because you're going to be in different circumstances that that tug on these different things in your mind that are sensitive, like you know, you care about your clients, you care about your your business and your revenue. So yeah, as soon as something disrupts that it can feel a sudden overwhelming. And clients will be like, "What? So am I supposed to just be a robot? I'm not supposed to feel this. I'm supposed to just catch the fear and dissolve it immediately." I'm like, "No, no, no, no." We don't want to neuter your humanity. Obviously, right? Like, we want you here for the whole thing, get mad, get sad, get triggered, it's okay. It's what happens after that. Right? It's about how long do you want to suffer? How long do you want to be in fear? Because it is a choice. And that is, that's the hard part is coming to terms with just how much authority and control you really have over your own emotion.

Lesley Logan  

Okay, that's, I really liked that. That's very interesting. So thank you for sharing that. Because it's it isn't about like, just never feeling fear, because I think that'd be impossible. That would be required to be a robot and be almost ... A yoga teacher, he always says, like, "You can't have love without hate, cannot have peace without war, like you can't have you can't, you can't be fearless without fear.: (Chris: Yeah.) Because you like there's a balance, right? They have to exist in the there's a coexistence there. So what would you say to someone who is like, "Okay, I'm, I understand. I'm going to feel the fear. I'm gonna feel these things." And then like, what are the signs that they need to catch? Is it the body? Is it like, if there feeling tense? Like, what are the things they should look for if they're new to discovering, like, when they're in the fear mode?

Chris Goodman  

Yeah, it's a great question. Because I think one of the, the easiest ways to catch it is watch your breathing. And watch how you speak. So I have a client who who battles chronic anxiety. And when I say battle, I mean it really, it comes on and he has to fight back. And he knows this. So yesterday, we were on a mastermind call. And he started explaining what was going on in his world. And he starts pacing. He's got earbuds in and he's pacing on the call. He, his words are tight and short, like, and I can hear the almost hyperventilating. I mean, if I put him on mute, you would be able to tell he was stressed. So for anyone listening, who's starting to monitor for themselves for those cues, you can tell like, listen to how deeply I just breathe in like I'm at ease right now. I'm not you don't stress me out. I know, you might try to scare me, but ... (Lesley and Chris laughs) Right. And I tend to speak kind of slowly because I'm from the south yet at the same time, when I get stressed, I speak in like, bullets comes really fast and my chest gets tight on my shoulders pull up and you can maybe listener may not see me but my face gets wrinkled. Simple cues that I can check in with myself and I, okay, what am I this is this is the actionable part listener. What am I thinking? What am I feeling? Two simple questions to get right into it. I'm thinking, everything's screwed up. Everything's gonna go wrong. We're gonna go broke. I'm a mess. I'm a terrible business owner. I'm a terrible person. I'm feeling tight. I'm feeling stress. I'm feeling anger. Okay. Now, the next part is just simply accepting that. Okay, that's not a problem. What if that's not a problem? What if it's not a problem? You thought your business is gonna go under because you had supply chain issues. (Lesley: Right.) What if it was actually a good thing that your brain is doing its damnedest to protect you. Right? (Lesley: Yeah.) And to get you to do what the brain does, move, or not move. Go, fight or flight there. (Lesley: Yeah.) Right. So we can give the brain credit like, "Okay, brain I see. And all this is happening in a millisecond, by the way. (Lesley: Yeah.) Right. For someone like me, who has been doing this for 10 years, I still go through this, I had a coaching call with one of my three coaches that I have this morning. And we were talking about this exact same thing. But what I want to do next in business and what it's dragging out of me, like fears, I didn't know I had, fears that I never thought I would have to figure out because I've never thought about it before. So when you get really good at it, you get lots of reps at it, you catch it in the moment you go, okay, brains working to protect me, brains making body get in line to fight or flight there, freeze or bite, (Lesley: Yeah.) as one of my mentors likes to say, right? And when you accept that and go okay, that what if that's not a problem? You take that power back immediately go, "What do I want to do? Do I want to ..." Do you want to get in the shower and all that with all that stress? Maybe, right? Maybe you just need to process it for a minute. What do you think?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, okay, so that one, I think, I don't know. I hope everyone listening feels very normal, And (Chris: Yeah.) and seen and also like it is I'll share this. I was having some issues in my stomach recently. And I was telling my holistic doctor, I'm like, "I'm just, you know, this is going on." And she's like, "Okay, well, you know, what's going on in your life?" And I was like, "Well, this is happening. This is happening and like this company called and now they threw this wrench into it, because now I'm like, do I want that thing? I don't know if I want that thing. I didn't know that was even an option. But now I'm like, do I want it?" and she's like, "So your body is reacting, normally (Chris: Right. Yeah.) to all the things. So we can absolutely give you supplements, we can give you some assistance through this, but really your body's just doing it supposed to do." And I think that that is something that we tend to forget that that fear that your body, pacing or getting short of breath or getting a little stressed out, it's basically your body's responding to what it's supposed to do. And so that just makes it's actually really good that your body and your brain are working together, (Chris: Yeah.) because they'll work together in other ways. And I think, I think what do I want ... I think, I think what I hoped for, and like what I'm always trying to do is like, catch it before it goes for more than a few minutes. (Chris: Yeah.) Or an hour because ...(Chris: Or a couple of days, sometimes. Yeah.) couple days. Yeah. Like I, I'm like I don't, I'm okay with feeling it. But I want to get, I want to get better at catching it before I end up on a call with someone on my team. Or you know what I mean? Because they don't need me giving them advice or strategies or next steps. Based off the fear I have, like if I tell my newsletter person something basic, because I'm in fear. (Chris: Yeah.) Now, she writes a newsletter based off like the thing that I'm feeling. So I personally want to just get better at catching it once while it's happening before I engage with other people that could start a domino effect of things that I don't want to happen.

Chris Goodman  

That's right. No, it's such a great point, because people tend to discount how much a decision rooted in fear will create results rooted in fear. Right. And you see, I imagine many of your Pilates instructors who are going through this right now that they've been so conservative in their pricing, even though they're bringing tremendous value, that they keep making decisions, like backing away from the fear. And so they keep getting people who want to pay bottom dollar prices, right? And so they get clients who are not maybe necessarily respectful of their time, or do the exercises they tell them to do or, or whatever. I worked with lots of Physical Therapists. And this seems to be a a trend that, you know, when we are in fear, and we make a decision like, well, I can't raise rates, because then I'll lose clients. They're definitely not doing anything to attract the people who want to pay at a for instance, premium and luxury price for a luxury service. And so they don't get those people, those people go somewhere else. And then it's sort of a race to the bottom.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, ... You definitely call them out. (Lesley and Chris laughs)

Chris Goodman  

Well, let me say it this way. But I mean that (Lesley: But I love that. I love that they hear from you.) was love and confusion. Because there's there's nothing wrong with you for doing that. You simply have not I use this example all the time. You just haven't learned you don't know what you don't know. If you and I you live in Los Angeles, correct. (Lesley: I'm in Las Vegas now. We moved here.) Oh, I didn't realize that. (Lesley: Yeah.) Okay, (Lesley: Yeah.) well, it's still Los. It's okay. (Lesley laughs) So I used to live in Manhattan Beach in LA. And when I would go down to the beach with my wife, you know, we'd see people plan sometimes little kids down in the surf. And I always use this example that, you know, sometimes people would bring a baby out to put their feet in the water for the first time and you know, experience the ocean for the first time and the baby would start crying. Freaking out, right? Sometimes toddlers freaking out because a) the water's cold, b) they've never seen anything that big and uncontrollable and have no idea what's going on. And so they're in a state of genuine fear. Nobody on that beach is looking at that baby going, "idiot like this stupid or like, this is just water. It's just like, it's not even deep." Nobody's judging that person. Because we have such compassion. They just don't know what they don't know. Somewhere along the lines, we forget that. And we bring all this judgment into the equation that we should know better. As a business owner, we should know better, because we got divorced before and now we shouldn't mess up dating now or whatever your story is, right? Instead of going back to that real compassion that, "Hey, maybe you just haven't outlearned this fear yet."

Lesley Logan  

So is it possible to outlearn a fear?

Chris Goodman  

I think so. I I genuinely believe it is. I I'll pick on myself. For for an example here, I went through a really nasty divorce in 2015. That's putting it lightly. And I started dating my current wife in 2017. And of course, as we got serious, I started to have fears. Well, what if what if we fall in love and get married and blows up like the last one did. Right? I had to out learn that fear, I had to outgrow I think outgrow is probably a better term. And the only way I could do that was by facing it head on. So when the time came to let Lindsey my wife know how serious I was and how committed to this relationship was I told her I said, "You know, I think this is really going somewhere." And she said, "Well that's that's tough because I'm not sure it is. And I I have a lot of fears. And I have a lot of doubt right now." And I said, I didn't even think I just blurted it out. I said, "Well, that really sucks because I'm in love with you." And talk about running into your fear headlong. I mean, tell somebody that just told you they're not sure about the relationship that you love them. And put your heart out there to get stomped on. And she she looked like I threw paint all over. She was just like, "What? You know, like I'm growing antlers, what?" And this look washed over her face. And her eyes welled up with tears. And she said, "I'm in love with you, too. I'm just terribly afraid right now. I'm so afraid." And so we use this as an example all the time when we do podcasts, because we're both afraid. She had had bad relationships, failed relationships, two relationships that went four years each. So it's not like we have somehow strapped on this armor as coaches that allows us to walk through anything with no fear, not the case. It is that we accept it as sort of a mission to run headlong into it. And all the discomfort that comes with it, and outgrow it anyway.

Lesley Logan  

Thank you, for that's a beautiful story by the way. I love it. I love it so much. And I know Brad's gonna really enjoy that because I think he can definitely resonate with the fears and in relation to moving forward. I'll tell this quick story, my and he asked my dad, if, if he can, you know, propose to me, my dad goes, "Well, don't be surprised if she says no." That's not my dad's response is. (Chris: Really.) Yeah. So when you meet him, he's such a funny person. But he's so anyways, when Brad proposed, we were camping. And really long story short, one friend of his his best friend, business partner had proposed the night before. His other best friend was talking about how he's going to get engaged and like his future wife was not with us, but he's telling us the whole story and how he's gonna plan it. So when I wake up in this tent, and like, after a nap, he's like, "Do you want to get married?" I just thought he was like, engagement happy. Like, I didn't actually, I just thought like, "Oh, everyone's getting married. So you want to get married?" And I was like, "Are you serious?" And that ... I'm so like, literally, what my dad said, it was like in his head.

Chris Goodman  

Oh, it just washes over him. (Lesley: Yeah.) Right. Right. Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

And he's like ... Yeah. Okay, yeah, then he pulled the ring out. And I was like, "Are you fuckin kidding me?" Could have led with that I would have known you were serious. (Chris and Lesley laughs) I would have known that was for real. (Chris: Could have led with that. I love it.) Yeah. So though, um, but I think I love that you share that because we can replace what fear of a relationship be going a different ... or going through a divorce, with anything with like anything, like if you're afraid of like, some of the growth in your business or trying something new or leaving a job, it's like you kind of do have to figure out a way to face that fear and take that next step. Which is, that's the hard part is like, what's the next step sometime.

Chris Goodman  

No. And that's just it as you have to, you must become bigger than that fear. It doesn't necessarily have to go away forever, you just have to get bigger than that fear. I did a reel a couple of weeks ago, that kind of hit and it was basically that that so many of us get caught up living in the past. Right. And thinking that that fear meet this thing means that fears coming back to get me. This relationship means that old fear of loss, you know, of heartbreak is coming back to get me again, and we coach our clients so hard on us to realize and appreciate that the past is dead. And you can leave it there. If you choose to. You get to choose, that's what most people are never told. Right?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Yeah. Chris, you're so friggin awesome. (Chris: Yeah, thank you.) I'm obsessed with you.

Chris Goodman  

Thank you, thank you. I can do this all day. I love it.

Lesley Logan  

I know, I know, we're def... I felt like we're gonna have to do this again. So we're gonna take a brief break, and then we're to find out how people can talk with you and work with you more.

So where can people find you, watch your reels, listen to your podcast, where are you hanging out?

Chris Goodman  

Well, if I'm not kayaking, and on some creek here in Kentucky, you can find me at @goodmancoaching G o o d m a n on Instagram. My wife is a big Instagram person. So I have become by proxy and Instagramer now. You know, if you're serious about coaching, there's there's two ways to get into my world there. The first one I would invite you into is and your listening here. So chances are you like this. It's a podcast called Relentless Growth. You can tell I am all about personal growth, business growth and expanding how much we can achieve and accomplish without sacrificing all of our happiness along the way. So I interview people, great people, I need to have you guys on actually (Lesley: Yeah.) and we talked about so many different topics, but at the end of the day, it always comes back to that intersection of personal growth meets business growth and what happens there. And then if you're serious about coaching, that's a different consideration, I would just start at goodmancoachinginc.com. And you'll see the links, right, when you hit the page of how to work with us, you know, either one on one coaching or group format. And like I said, I really love, love, love what I do. So if there's some other type of coaching or some other type of help, that you're listening and think, you know, I want to learn more, shoot me a message. And I'll happily assure you to one of my many great friends around the world who do this for a living too.

Lesley Logan  

Ah, thank you so much. We'll have all those links below. Okay, BE IT action items, bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What, what do we got from you?

Chris Goodman  

I'd say two things really simple. Number one, hire some kind of coach. And I imagine many of your previous guests have said, "Find a mentor, find a coach." I would be silly to not lead with that. I mean, this is this is have you ever heard the saying be a product of your product?

Lesley Logan  

No. Well, I maybe I have but I but yeah, tell me more.

Chris Goodman  

Well, essentially, if I if I sell coaching, but I don't believe in coaching enough to hire my own coach, what does that say about my belief in coaching. So if you're out there feeling like you're ready to grow in some kind of direction, find somebody and like you said at the beginning of the podcast, even if it's free in the beginning, fully commit to it and see yourself working with that person, until you can make it, right, until you can hire them. And then the second would be what we've talked about is learn to witness your own thoughts. It, it sounds like such a soft skill, like such a vague, and you said, external or extrinsic actionable item, I think this is the most important thing somebody can do to grow exponentially. And because we could pack on action all day long, if you're not mindful of what's happening inside, you can be miserable the whole time. How many successful people do you know who are actually secretly miserable, right? A lot. And if (Lesley: Yeah, unfortunately.) at the end of the day if they could just learn to witness those thoughts, they could learn how to change it. And that's our work. That's where everything starts, so that you can get whatever you want.

Lesley Logan  

I love that. We got a nice little intrinsic action step, which I love. There's, unfortunately, rare versions of those. And I think that that's sometimes the best next step for people. And I agree in the as a Pilates teacher, I have Pilates teacher. (Chris: Yeah. Right.) You know, and, and if you're listening to this, you're like, "But I'm a new teacher, and I can't afford it." Yeah. So that's what my platform is for onlinepilatesclasses.com. And you can just, I can be your teacher online, or whatever you want. (Chirs: Yeah, yeah.) Or anyone can doesn't have to me. And so I, I really love all of those. And I think I think they're not as easy to apply, but we can find ways to apply them now. You don't have to necessarily wait. You can use a po... a person's podcast to be and dislike, they, if you listen to a podcast, you'll hear, you listen to Chris' podcast, you'll hear him say things and you can and write that question down and go back and do it and do the work. Because if you can do it with without having the accountability to do it, when you do get that accountability, (Chris: Yeah.) it's going to be like crazy. One of our, one of the coaches we work with, we couldn't afford her at the time, but we met her through Chris and Lori and we took what she said what she taught us. And we literally ran the plan that she taught, like, okay, I wrote the plan now. We ran it and we made enough money to hire her. We're like, "Okay, we made the money, we can hire you now." (Lesley laughs)

Chris Goodman  

Right. I love how you kind of boomerang there and came back to it because there's no, I think there is this stigma or misconception that there are rules of like how this is supposed to work, when it's such an unfair story to buy into. Right. And such an arbitrary, even capricious thing to buy into because there's nothing preventing you from doing that. And that being a successful plan for you. Right. (Lesley: Yeah.) you never would have known if you didn't stick your neck out and give it a shot.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Chris, thank you for being here. (Chris: No problem.) You're amazing.

Chris Goodman  

So happy to see you guys again and hear you're (Lesley: I know. ) doing so well. So (Lesley: Yeah, well ...) let me know if I can do anything else to help.

Lesley Logan  

Wonder... we will and also if we are headed through Louisville on one of our road trips we're gonna come see you and you're amazing wife.

Chris Goodman  

We got enough bourbon for you at least for a couple of days. (Chris and Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan  

I love that you have that. When you come to Vegas, don't worry we've got plenty of also other alcohol ...

Chris Goodman  

Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah, there's no shortage. I spent a week in Vegas one night, so yeah. (Chris and Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan  

That's the best thing I've heard. That's probably what most people's are. Thank you so much. Okay, everyone how are you going to use this in your life. What steps are you gonna take? Will you tag @goodmancoaching and the @be_it_pod and let us know. And share this with a friend, share this with many friends, you can screenshot it and share it online, you can also just text it to a friend and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day! 

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli. 

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing. 

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi. 

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can. 

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

How do females work with their hormones for ideal health? Brad and Lesley recap the stabilizing convo with Jenny Swisher, discussing the importance of a having a healthy period, how to get enough protein in the day, and the value of tracking your cycle. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Why having a period is key to your health 
• Your hormones and gut being off impacts other functions
• The importance of tracking your cycle
• Research for dieting, fasting, and working is skewed towards men 
• How cycle syncing your workouts impacts your energy levels
• Defining what makes you an expert at something
• How to know if your getting enough protein 
• The value in tracking your cycle

Episode References/Links:

• Beyond the Pill: A 30-Day Program to Balance Your Hormones, Reclaim Your Body, and Reverse the Dangerous Side Effects of the Birth Control Pill Hardcover – Illustrated, January 29, 2019 by Jolene Brighten
• Hormone Imbalance Quiz
• Tracking Your Menstrual Cycle
• SYNC Your Life Podcast

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Be It Till You See It Podcast Survey

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the stabilizing convo I had with Jenny Swisher in our last episode, if you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now and go back and listen to that one. And then come back and join us. (Brad: Yeah.) I think it could also have been a synchronicity, or a synchronized synchronized convo because that would go with her SYNC. Anyways, just just my notes. Oh my God, I love my team. Okay. So y'all, we are literally flying to Chicago as you if you're listening to in real time.

Brad Crowell  

No, we're in. We're in Chicago cur... at the current moment. (Lesley: Well, no.) Yeah, (Lesley: We're not.) we're in Chicago.

Lesley Logan  

We fly at night. Okay. I love it. Now we'll start over that. We are, so we're currently in Chicago at Pilates on tour. It's my first time back to Pilates on tour for Balanced Body speaking for them since 2019, actually. So that's really exciting. And I brought Brad this time, because last time I just, I did it alone. And it's way more fun when Brad's there. So mostly because people just go, "Where's Brad?" And so it's just easier to bring him and then they can ask him how he's doing. Also, if you're not in Chicago, we got something special going on. Y'all, remember John Mollura from the pod and we actually had him do a course for us at Profitable Pilates. And it's really great. It is all about like, getting past your like imposter syndrome. And y'all I know that this is a course you're like, "Oh, yeah, I need to do that." And then you'll like, "I won't buy that one because you're like, I need this strategy on how to actually get more clients." I promise you right now. What's keeping you from work clients is not a strategy. It's your mindset. And so you need this course. And it's 30% off this week only. And if you're listening to this, and you know, a year from now, it's not on sale, but it's still great. And you should get it. It's like amazing stuff. And then we come back and sale is over. We have our Vegas retreat at our house. (Brad: Yeah.) We are so excited. My sister is coming up to help us, which is really, it's gonna be so fun.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, it's gonna be an amazing week. We're gonna be doing Pilates in the morning and digging into the customer journey for businesses for both brick and mortar and online businesses. (Lesley: Yeah.) Plus, we're gonna have a photo shoot.

Lesley Logan  

I know. So fun ...

Brad Crowell  

... we've got another a new restaurant that we're bringing for lunches. You're ...

Lesley Logan  

We're, we're so obsessed with this place. (Brad: Yeah.) We had them deliver every meal during the week of Mini. And then because I'm not sick of it yet. They are also delivering (Brad: Yeah.) our lunches for the retreat, which I'm so stoked about. (Brad: Yeah.) It's amazing local restaurant. And then we recover from all this, and then we head out to Cambodia.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, we do. I can't wait ...

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Oh my gosh. If you are wanting to get the course it's profitablepilates.com/courses. If you're wanting to come on the Cambodia retreat, it is lesleylogan.co/retreat. These links are in the show notes and there's a really fun thing you can do on your phone, everyone, you just go to the pod, and you'll see it. It's like a play or a pause thing. And if you just keep swiping it up, it actually has a bunch of notes that our team does a really good job, making sure you can get all the bullet points, (Brad: Yeah.) our Instagram handles all the links to anything I talk about, like I just like, say something and then they're like, "Oh, here's the link for that." So they're all there to help you out.

Brad Crowell  

Absolutely. Yeah, I think and bravo our team spends a tons of time putting everything together just for you. So if you haven't ever checked that out, take a peek.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, so we're gonna talk about Jenny Swisher today.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, but first we had an audience question. And this is two recaps in a row. It's a very personal question. So this is another one for Lesley. And, again, talking about personal health. And the question was, "Is it true that there was a number of years where you never had your period?"

Lesley Logan  

Correct. There was many years. I didn't really, I, you know, like I was definitely of the generation of woman who's like, "I don't want a period." And I hope someday that we like teach children, boys and girls what a period is. We talked about that with Jenn Pike on her episode. Because it would be really great if we didn't see this negative thing. Anyways, I, it was inconsistent through junior high in high school, and I did have one, they were awful. And so when I was put on birth control to make them easier, I ended up ended up getting a blood clot, actually. But I was on a particularly new birth control and my doctors had told me that the blood clot was from the car accident and I was in and not from the patch I was on. And so, which I was like, "Okay, well, that makes sense. Like the blood clot was in the same way the head injury, no big deal, I was on bedrest." But then when I met with a doctor years later, and I told her about my family history, she looked at everything she was like, "You should not be on hormones." So then she took me off the birth control, which by the way, birth control, which as you all know, is not a real period. So it was just telling my body to have a period. But I actually like you're not going through a cycle. So when I got off the birth control, it's not abnormal. I didn't have one, because my body had to like, re figure out what it does, but it had never figured that before the birth control. So like, it just, I had no idea what normal was for me. And so it didn't come back, I went through acupuncture for fertility, just to bring it back, and it didn't bring it back. And so it took, it took a copper IUD to bring it back. And I don't necessarily recommend that I wish I'd had. I wish I had ...

Brad Crowell  

Or even, even after that, you know, with your health,

Lesley Logan  

I lost it during, I lost it during my health stuff, because I got too lean. So I got my body fat percentage went too low.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, and high stress (Lesley: Yeah.) and the lack of sleep (Lesley: Yeah.) and the combination of all the things that were those (Lesley: Yeah.) that were going on (Lesley: I forgot about that period of time.) like basically eliminate your body was just like, we're just gonna skip this part of it.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, we're not doing that. Your body will do some interesting things that keep you fucking alive. So so at any rate, I wish I had known what I know now about things like I think I would have, I think I would have handled it all differently to get the period back at the first place. And I think I would have been ...

Brad Crowell  

What does that specifically mean? What would you have done? 

Lesley Logan  

So there is a book called the After the Pill or Beyond the Pill, After the Pill. And it is it really is a very educational book on like, what happens when you go off birth control ... (Brad: Beyond the Pill.) Yeah.

Brad Crowell  

And that is A 30-Day bal... Program to Balance Your Hormones, Reclaim Your Body, Reverse the Dangerous Side Effects of the Birth Control Pill. (Lesley: Yeah.) And that is by Jolene Brighten, Doctor.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, yeah, so I wish I had had like just any preparation whatsoever for that. And I also wish I would have known how key to your health having a period is, like how it actually is a natural period is, how it is a sign of things working out well. And I I think I probably also when I lost it again, during my health with my stomach would have probably been able to fight a little bit more for myself or at least done more research myself if I really understood the power and have it all and it and now we're good, we're good to go. Everything is and what we're learning with a new cycle is because we don't have the IUD anymore. So ladies if you are on some sort of birth control, I'm not saying get off of it, I am saying it is worth educating yourself around those things and because there are there are things around long term birth control use that are not great. However I didn't have one I I also didn't have doctors around me that were concerned. Their was their responses really were well it just takes time. Well you didn't you were on this roll so it takes time. My my acupuncturist seemed very concerned I was trying her darndest Jamie had me drinking every fucking tea weird, tea out of the sun. So awful but um if you are someone who is excited to skip your period or how are you are with that one and not really worried about it, I'm not saying go get stressed out about it because I would never want you to do that but it is it is important important part of like the the female body and the health of it and and you know go back and listen to Jenn Pike's episode. I might have brought up on Dr. Bender's episode and then Jenny Swisher is is also she's got so much information for you. You should check out her site and I'm trying out this little doodad.

Brad Crowell  

She's about to release an app.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, she's got an app and I'm I'm trying out this little doodad.That she's got because basically just saying your hormones are off and if your hormones are off (Brad: Yeah.) it is a it's only a matter of time before it's not just your sexual hormones that are off. It's going to affect your sleep. It's gonna affect your digestion and we're all we're not compartments.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, this is a perfect, perfect transition right into talking about our guest, Jenny Swisher.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, let's talk about her.

Brad Crowell  

Okay, now let's talk about Jenny Swisher. From a struggle that started in her 20s having to do with chronic migraines, and hormone imbalances, Jenny Swisher has been on a lifetime journey to have of self discovery and becoming her own best doctor. She is a Holistic Health Coach, a mom, she's an advocate for women working with their hormones, for total wellness, and hormones is the key. It's really, really an interesting conversation what you have with her. Stuff I never thought about, didn't know about, really fascinating. Her mission is to bridge the gap between the medical community and functional wellness. So I, I it was a very revealing conversation. I know that we described it as a stabilizing convo, it is stabilizing. But but first off, she talked about she talked about stuff that I had never really considered before. And the logic that she presented behind it was was pretty straightforward. And I was like, "Oh, okay, well, this is important. (Lesley: Yeah.) I don't know, why I never knew this before."

Lesley Logan  

Well, I think what's interesting, I, I'm gonna sound like some weirdo. But I just need to say this. Most of the issues that we have the solution to the problem has very little to do with drugs. (Brad: Right.) And because no one can make money off of the solution. No one promotes a solution. But really, like, it is it's it's it's very interesting thing that if we just had these answers from when we were children getting to know our bodies, then we would know things were off. So

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, what I wanted to, I'm just going to quickly recap and I'll keep this brief here because you can, and you should go back and listen to her episode. But for context about what were the points we're going to go through here, I think, I think that it's important to remember, she talks about the four legged chair. (Lesley: Oh, yeah.) The analogy of how your hormone, your hormones, your endocrine system, like the four legs of the endocrine system. And the first leg is your sex hormone, sex hormones, which she said is progesterone, and other things. The second is your cortisol or your adrenals and that's your sleep and stress. The third is your thyroid. And then the last is your blood sugar. And so your hor... sex hormones, cortisol, your thyroid and your blood sugar. Those are the four legs of your hormonal, your endocrine system. And she said they all sit on top of your gut health. Right. So your gut health will affect each and every one of those. And they all will affect each other because she obviously said if you cut off an inch of your, you know, the leg for the, you know, your thyroid, it's going to affect the other three legs because the (Lesley: Yeah.) chair will be wobbly. Right. So those are what one we're what we're about to go through with the different points that we're talking about. Just keep that in mind, she's talking about the four leg, four legs of your hormone your endocrine system.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So what I love that she said I love that she brought up is that research for dieting, fasting, working out has been done mostly on men. So like, and this is very true. This is not an opinion. Like there's so much research on this. We've been one of our favorite shows John Oliver even did a whole thing on this. And there was a whole science experiment on this like cancer research on ovaries and the people didn't have ovaries there were men, they were men. (Brad: Right.) And so it's like, what the...

Brad Crowell  

How are you possibly doing research on a body that doesn't have the organs.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. And so this means the typical workout calendar schedule is not designed for women. So if you are trying to lose weight or get healthy, whatever, whatever that means to you and or just have a better sleep cycle. A lot of the research out there is for a men's hormonal cycle which is 24 hours and ours is between 28 and 31 or 32 days, so it's just not going to work. So she brought up you can cycle sync your workouts for maximum benefits, which is like you could your, and there, you could compare your workouts to your hormones. So it's like, I do this all the time I use an app that helps me just like tells me like, "Oh, these are the types of workouts you can do right now." (Brad: Yeah.) And so it's actually made a massive difference in my energy levels, my ability to recover from a workout, my, my improvements, the strengths I've been able to make. And I also am a lot kinder to myself when I fucking don't feel like it. (Brad: Yeah.) Oh, well that.

Brad Crowell  

Also, too, I think that, you know, from the sitting on the sidelines here, it helps me as your partner to know, why are you not doing the thing? Right. Because it was specifically for me work, we work together, y'all. If you didn't figure that out. We filmed classes for OPC. And often she would have them on her calendar. And it would be, like, really stressful for me when she had to film during the week. And I was like, "This sucks. I don't want to be around you when you're filming classes." Because if something would go wrong, it was like a really big deal. If something got like, if there was loud noises, it would become a really big deal. And I was like, "I can't control everything. I try but it's not possible." And it was super stressful for me. And it felt like I was walking on eggshells, and then ...

Lesley Logan  

We moved the classes to a different week of my cycle. (Brad: Yeah, you ...) Yeah, it's like so much fun.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, I didn't think about this. But like, we were just like, "Okay, on the second week of every month, you're gonna film and that was just our work schedule." Right. And so not just your work out schedule, but you know, working to this will affect your work. And then when we when you said, "Hey, what if we changed it?" And then and you explained me why I was like, "I mean, for me, I was like, whatever, I don't care, we'll move it to whatever other week it doesn't matter." And it has been night and day difference for me.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Yeah. And, and actually, because, um, because my cycle at is was eight days and now without the IUD is like four days where we're on a journey ... (Brad: Yeah.) had to change the week that it's happening. And this is gonna piss up everybody because like, I was gonna switch it but at the same time, like it, I really do ...

Brad Crowell  

But you're aware of that. (Lesley: Yes.) Like, that's amazing.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. And so I, I'm, I was like, I this is not something I am a professional knowledge person. And like Jenny is, but like, ever since I discovered this and like, how many experts can I get on the show to talk about this, because most of people listening this are females, or identify as one. And the reality is that you are going to have days where you do not want to show up in front of people. (Brad: Sure.) So when you are aware of that in your cycle, you give yourself permission to go go inward and and reflect on what you've done this month, what has worked, what's going on, and then you make plans for when you're ready to bloom up and like be out there in the world. So you can 'be it till you see it' during those days where it feels so comfortable. So ready, instead of like fighting with it and trying to make sure that every single day it looks like the next day. You're not a dude. It's not gonna work. (Brad: You're not a dude. Yeah.) Now they have their own thing they have to worry about but that's a different person's be it till you see it podcast.

Brad Crowell  

Well, I really loved that. She said, you can become obsessed with something to the point where you become an expert.

Lesley Logan  

I know I think some people get a little weird about like their obsession around things. And it's like it goes back to last week's episode, like your pain becomes your program like friggin why not you be the expert if ... 

Brad Crowell  

Well, I definitely I understand this. But I, but I I got a little weird about you know, Jenny Swisher has been on a lifetime journey of self discovery and becoming her own best doctor. And literally that one word 'doctor' made me go, "How can she be her own best doctor?" Right. And I think that not in a literal sense of I went to med school and I've got a degree from University that note says I had the title of doctor, but more in the figurative sense of a doctor supposed to be a proponent of your health, is supposed to be able to help you in your health. And so you know, you she became obsessed with something meaning the anatomy of you know, her female anatomy, her like the inner workings of her body, how it was all working and specifically the struggles that she was having from migraines, right because she said the migraines were debilitating. They weren't just like, "Oh, I had an headache." It was like two days of her 100% out commission could not function migraine and how does that happen? And her conclusion after not been getting the results that she needed from going to a doctor was "oh my hormones are actually affecting the what my migraines. And specifically, it was when she had gone off of birth control. And so and she said, it took her years to put the dots together and be like, when I stopped birth control, I started getting migraines. She didn't know how she didn't see it before, but suddenly became very clear. And then okay, now, how can I resolve that since I don't want to go back on birth control? And that literally sent her down this whole path.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, so she is her own best doctor, because doctors were not able to put those together either.

Brad Crowell  

And now she can legitimately say I'm an expert on these things. I mean, she's, she's been studying it for, you know, (Lesley: years) years, right. (Lesley: years) She's been working in it, studying it, talking about it, reading about and all these things for so many years. And so while she may not be able to be hired to diagnose someone, in a medical sense, from that way, she can provide you a lot of information around the subjects (Lesley: Well ...) from her own experience.

Lesley Logan  

I think she has a course and it goes back to all the things she's developing. And then you can take that information. 

Brad Crowell  

She actually has a quiz. (Lesley: Yeah, you can ...) yeah, the hormone imbalance quiz. And we will make sure to include that we included in the show notes of last last episode, we will include it again in this one.

Lesley Logan  

And then you can take all that information, and then you can go back to Jessica Valant's episode, and then advocate for yourself where it is needed. And I think I was so excited to have these two women back to back because I like I said in the last episode, I really do see, one of the big things holding women back from showing up the way they want to on this planet is their health issues. And, and one can be also around their cycle, if your cycle is off. Again, there are we talked about it, I believe in Jenn Pike's episode like about the different phases of your cycle. And the truth is, is if you are trying to do something outside of what your cycle wants to do, you're not going to feel very good about it. And then you're going to, and then because most women who listen to this, do this, you start to shame blame judge yourself. (Brad: Sure.) And then that spirals you out of being it till you see it. And so I really want...

Brad Crowell  

Yeah and then it jacks up your habits that you've created for yourself, because you know, it just hijacks everything.

Lesley Logan  

Hijacks everything. So I (Brad: Yeah.) just really, I really wanted to have these two ladies together. And like I said, I'll have more women's health advocates on because I really do see like, sometimes it's not the next habits or mindset mantra is oftentimes like your body and how you feel in it (Brad: Yeah.) and all that. So anyways, I like what you liked.

Brad Crowell  

And I think also too, there's a there's this idea of the 10,000 hours, you're an expert in your field or that kind of stuff. I mean, I think that one of the exercises that I love to do with those who come through Agency, our fitness business coaching program, is I work backwards with them and I say, okay, how long have you been teaching? And they say, oh, 10 years. Okay, amazing. How long did you study before you were allowed to teach? Oh, a year, two years, something like that. Okay, what are the certification programs that you did? How many hours were those programs? Oh, 600 hours. 200 hours. Oh, it was a weekend. Oh, it was a it was a whole year. Whatever. Right. And then, okay, how much have you been teaching in that time? Oh, I've been teaching, you know, 10 clients a week for eight years. Amazing. Add up all those hours, what what, you know, you're probably like, you have you've probably 1000s of hours of experience under your belt with this thing that you're doing, whether it's yoga, or Pilates or whatever it is. And the reality is, the more you stay focused on something, the more you are an expert at it. So it's, it's plausible to also look at your life and be like, "Wow, I'm an expert in this thing." (Lesley: Yeah.) So that's pretty cool.

Lesley Logan  

It is really cool. I really think I think she's amazing. I really am into what she's doing. So I hope you all are having fun getting synced with her.

Brad Crowell  

All right, so finally let's talk about those BE IT action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your conversation with Jenny Swisher?

I'm gonna go first, we're gonna make sure you're eating enough of the right foods. Okay. And she said, specifically, most women, it needs to increase their protein intake.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, most people we just told my fath, my father, (Brad: Yeah, your dad, the same thing.) Yeah, most people are not actually eating enough protein. And ladies, especially as you're going into menopause, you're gonna frickin want to do that. So I say that because like, I think it's I think that's the next phase that I'm going to my life and I like like, where's the protein? So, but yeah, I love this. I love this take and I think so I think you just, I don't know, most women ... most women increase their protein intake. I'm not really sure how to help you with that as far I was like, obviously, there's shakes and there's animal proteins, I would definitely make sure if you're taking doing shakes, please watch the ingredients that are put into these things, make sure they come from a reputable source, like do your research, but also count them. Like ...

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, I think that's what we can recommend to you. Because we can't tell you if protein is what you need more of or not. It's just a generalization. But what Jenny was saying is that you have to be eating the right foods. How do you know if you're eating the right foods? That's something that you're gonna have to figure out with bloodwork and doctors and stuff like that where you know, you know, like, "Oh, I'm going to need more of this thing."

Lesley Logan  

I think a simple thing you can do though, is just for one week, track your protein like look at if you're having like a chicken breasts, like, like weigh the chicken breasts, so you can find out how much protein is in that you don't have to weight it forever. But like, once you have an idea, like, oh, the chicken breasts, the size of my hand is this much protein. (Brad: Yeah.) Then you'll always know that. And so you can you don't have to do this forever. You don't have to, like I know, like, for a lot of people, like the last thing they want to do is actually count their grams of protein. But it's not the same as counting calories. It's very specific. And so you can see on average, how much you're getting. And it really I have heard from many, many a medical professional a gram for every pound weight. Or ...

Brad Crowell  

So this is macros. Is this what we're talking about effectively. (Lesley: Yeah, yeah, yeah.) Which I know nothing about.

Lesley Logan  

Yes. So if you are interested in macros coaching you we can go back to several guests, Launa McClung, Giselle Schroer, and Amber Shaw. And they all can tell you how the hell you should count your proteins. (Brad: Yeah.) But, um, but I have a we had Jennifer van Barneveld-Pe on, and she just had a podcast about like, actually, you know, it's, if you don't want people to see weighing your food, you can simply say, I'm working on making sure I'm getting enough nutrients in my system. And I'm doing it for the week to see on average, what I'm doing that doesn't have to be a weird thing. But you can't you can't make sure you're doing that unless you track it for a while. And then you could at this point in my life with certain things, I don't have to do those things. I'm like, I know how much protein is in my my thing here. So I know that stuff. But it is a key thing that we it's very easy ish thing to add in.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. (Lesley: So) Yeah. Yeah, it's a it's not quite as complicated as it used to be. So. Okay. Well, (Lesley: Now it's my turn.) What about you?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So, y'all, if you have a cycle, I want you tracking it. So she's developing an app. There are other apps out there. I do know that in the current US climate a lot of people are afraid of doing that. So I am aware of that. However ...

Brad Crowell  

I think there's actually lawsuits about it right now (Lesley: Yeah.) happening in the US court system (Lesley: Yeah.) about effectively sharing information. Like abortion argument happening here in our country (Lesley: everywhere)Yeah, I'm sure you all know. But basically, the fear is that the apps ...

Lesley Logan  

Well, they're not HIPAA compliant so they can sell people's information and they already have it.

Brad Crowell  

If the apps, aren't HIPAA compliant. But either way, even so the fear is still that the police, police enforces, (Lesley: Yeah.) you know, can tap into this information. Anyway, there's a huge court case happening right now, to block them from doing that.

Lesley Logan  

You don't want to use an app, you can use your own calendar and just, you know, make sure that you you can put like a P on there, you could put like a red heart or something. And then you what I would highly recommend you do is like do that every day of your cycle. And then go back to the first day and have it repeat in 20 days. And if they're a little earlier, a little late, then you can adjust and you should be able to see if you are I'm on a 28 day cycle as I meant while I was we're going to find out what that is now that it's a four day period. Anyway, sorry, I shouldn't be jumping through I just said like we should like love our periods, but I would from eight to four. So you all this is like my life has changed. But do whatever you can do I do use an app, I am unaware if they are protecting the ... or not if they have any protection. I've been emailing them to find out. But but the app is actually out of different country. So I'm not even sure that it is like that a problem that I have to worry about. I like it because it does tell me where what phase I am in. If you're someone where you are beyond a monthly cycle, you are in menopause, please go with the moon cycle and use the moon cycle as your cycle and that will actually help you to know when you are waxing and when you are waning in your hormones. And so there's a lot of research you can do on that. And then ...

Brad Crowell  

Yeah actually, I just pulled up Jenny's website while you were sharing that and she actually has an entire episode of her podcast dedicated to tracking your menstrual cycle (Lesley: Great.) from April 5th 2022. We will leave the I'll link to her website in the show notes where you can see her blog posts around that and you can listen to her episode as well.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah and then I also love that she said find a functional medical practitioner near you. This is really helpful she gave actual steps so you can go back and listen to that on how to do it but honestly like just because and I love that she said there's just because there are functional medicine doctors I mean the right one for you and then you can listen back to Jessica Valant episode and our recap episode about finding a doctor that works for you. It is annoying when the first doctor you go to isn't the right doctor. Keep going. (Brad: Yeah.) Keep going there right people out there for you and I love my, we had Dr. Bender on. I love her because I'm like, she's been also following like how my health and stomach will change after I don't have my IUD anymore. And it is insane. Some of the stuff that I was thought was my stomach were not my stomach at all. So it's just you all your body is its own interesting thing and get to know it, like get to know it because that's going to help you be able to listen to it for not just like how you are today with like your health but also like what your what your gut is telling you like your actual gut, not your stomach like your gut instinct is telling you to do in this world, how to act as if you are already the person you want to be because you are it, you just have to step into those shoes. And the more you get to know yourself the easier that's going to be. (Brad: Yeah.) All right. I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell  

And, I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan  

How are you going to use these tips in your life? We want to know. Tag Jenny Swisher, tag the @be_it_pod. Share this with your friends like seriously share this with your friends. (Brad: Yeah.) One of our agency members Claire Sparrow, she has this thing. I'm gonna have her on one day but she is like women are not telling other women about the stuff that they're going through because it's like this weird like we don't have, we have weird conversation like weird. It's weird. So just share it and then it's not weird like, "Hey, I was just listening to this. Check it out. What do you think?" That's a great conversation starter (Brad: Totally.) and do it. And until next time, Be It till You See It.

Brad Crowell  

Bye for now.

Lesley Logan  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day! 

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli. 

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing. 

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi. 

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can. 

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Ladies! You know all those diets and new workout plans you keep trying hoping to lose that extra 5lbs or to feel a little better? Maybe it’s not working because it was designed based off the male body. YEP. This episode is essential for all women to finally begin to work WITH our cycle and how to advocate for our total health.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How proactive health can impact your lifestyle and balance your hormones
• The benefits of a functional doctor
• How to rule out the doctors who won't serve you well
• What is your body saying day-to- day
• How to cycle sync your workouts for maximum benefits
• 4-legged chair analogy and how it relates to your hormone system. 
• The things to consider in your hormone imbalance
• The two most common issues for hormone imbalance 
• The range of “normal” has not been defined for you

BIO 

Jenny Swisher has had a wide background in health and fitness from owning a gym with her husband to building a network of marketing health professionals, to deep diving into hormone health. Jenny is now a holistic health coach, mom, and creator of SYNC: How to Fuel and Train with Your Female Hormone Cycle digital course. The course is designed to teach women how to work with their practitioners to uncover the root cause of their hormone imbalances, how to track their cycles using an ovuscope, and how to cycle sync their workouts and nutrition to their menstrual phases.

Jenny’s podcast, SYNC Your Life, is also working to spread the word on the message that women are not small men, and that getting a female into great shape means paying attention to her physiology and working with it instead of against it.

Episode References/Links:

• SYNC Your Life Podcast
• Beyond The Pill ​​by Jolene Brighten
• Find your functional doctor! Institute for Functional Medicine

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Hey loves, how are you? Oh my gosh, okay, so I am so stoked for you to talk to this for you to talk, you're not gonna talk to her. I mean, you could talk to her while you're walking, you're gonna listen to her. (Lesley laughs) Oh my gosh, okay, so I am part of a group and I was reaching out for some guests. And this woman raised her hand. And I thought it must been earlier in the year or maybe even late last year, to be honest, and we had a phone call. And like all busy women, we have lives and she's growing her companies and growing my companies. And so we, we knew we had, we're gonna have a great conversation. I knew I had to have her on. And also, like, life just takes time. And I share this, and I share this. And when I introduced her, I share this because it's so so important that you hear this. You're gonna learn so much from people in your lives, like I learn more from the conversations I have, and the epic relations that I've have, then in any book, okay? And so, but not every relationship can start right away. Not every conversation gets to start right away. And I think it's important that we keep that in mind. So you don't take things personally, if a conversation doesn't happen, or if it gets canceled, and then you are intentional. So I have an intentional list of people that I'm like, "This someone is someone I really want you in my life. This is someone I really want to conversation with. This is I want to connect with." And then I make sure that I reach out from time to time. And so I'm so stoked because I was on this, this guest podcast and I really hope you listen to it if you haven't already. And not only you're going to love this and this podcast is going to just enlighten you on so many things. Ladies, this is for you. Our guest is Jenny Swisher and she is 100% a woman on a mission and passionate about hormone health with women and she is really diving into find out different ways that you can make it easy for women to know about their hormone health to be in control and to use that for themselves. So here's what's so exciting. You're gonna listen to all this amazing wisdom and the story from Jenny Swisher right now and I want you to truly listen to her BE IT action items, especially the last one please, please, please, please, please, ladies, please. And then I really want you to take stock about the things that you are doing, track things in your life, have intentionality around these things to try not to excuse your feelings or things you want a way, please because you cannot be it till you see it if you are just kind of flat floating through and just letting things happen. That's not how it works. We have to take some action. So listen to our actions up to the end. Listen to these amazing words from Jenny Swisher. I'm so glad I got to have her as a guest for you. And I can't wait to hear how you use these actions in your life.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Hey, Be It listeners. All right, I am really thrilled. This woman and I actually talked many, many moons ago. And because when you are busy women rockin things that you have in this world and have important people in your lives. Sometimes schedules can get can take a little while to have these important conversations. But what I'm so stoked about is that, that just means we get to actually and I get to have more conversations together, which is really cool. And I say that because I think it can be really tricky when you meet someone and you want them to be your friend or you want to connect with you want to network with them. And that it takes a while for that ball to get rolling. You can get a little frustrated. What I will say is having been on our guests podcast, let the time take it and stay consistent and keep showing up and it will it'll be what it's going to be and so here without further ado, let me actually just get her on. Jenny Swisher is here, and I am so stoked to have her on. I'm really thrilled that our paths have crossed. Thank goodness for the groups that were in. So Jenny, will you tell everyone who you are and what you're up to these days?

Jenny Swisher  

Absolutely. Well, thank you for having me on. I've been listening to your podcast to these last several weeks and I love the vibe that you put out into the world and the message that you're sharing. I hope that women especially listening to this day will come away with something. So my name is Jenny Swisher. I started a SYNC digital course in 2020 focused on women's hormone health. So basically, that's my story. And I'm sticking to it right, I have a struggle that started in my 20s having to do with chronic migraine and hormone imbalance that led me into this journey of self discovery and really becoming my own best doctor. And I looked around as a as a personal trainer and a nutritionist, and I saw this need with other women out there who were struggling, and they were being told their testing was normal. And what they were experiencing was normal. And I thought, "No, this isn't right, we need to intervene. And we need to educate women on their health, their especially their menstrual health, and how to really get to the root cause of issues for them." So I launched my course in 2020, have a podcast now called SYNC Your Life, which you were on, just we just interviewed you last week, so it'll be on your soon live. But uh, yeah, I love this journey that I'm on because I'm meeting so many women out there who always tell me that they wish they had known this information years ago. And so I feel like I'm really sort of like living into my purpose. I'm following this calling to really bridge the gap between the medical community and functional wellness, and really getting people on board with a more functional approach to their health.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I love this. And I also love the timing of this, because we just had on one of our guests, talking about women's health and our importance of being an advocate, and it's exhausting to be an advocate for yourself, but you have to do it and and I love the the specificity of yours because I do think that it's if we should have known when we were probably 14 or 13. Like when you're when you're watching those videos about your cycle, it's probably like, and here's all the different possibilities. And here just just so that it's not fearful, it's not this negative stigma that we have around it. And then it's easier to know that you have to sync things and that there's there's so much more possibility out there for all of us. I would love to so you, you started your course and 2020. What kind of was the impetus for that? Because I feel like taking on the idea of like, I'm going to do a course that requires a (Jenny: Yeah.) lot more than just passion and an idea.

Jenny Swisher  

Absolutely, yeah. So as I mentioned briefly, you know, in my 20s, I started experiencing chronic migraine, and when I say chronic migraine, I mean, I had consistent pain. If I woke up in the middle of night, I still have a headache for two and a half consecutive years. And so I was referred to Mayo Clinic, Diamond Clinic, I was referred to all these different specialists, I saw a total of 14 different neurologists and specialists. And I had the world's gamut of testing on my brain and my spine. And you know, I even saw chiropractors and all different types of experts in this field that were like, everything's fine, everything's normal. We're not sure why you're having these headaches. And I knew deep down that there was a reason and I just had to get to the root of that reason. But I unfortunately spent a little bit too long, sitting in the in the waiting room of doctors offices hoping for my Doctor House is what I like to say, looking for that doctor who could who could say, "Uh huh, you have mold in your gutters, you know, and that's the problem." You know ...

Lesley Logan  

I know. I remember that show. Everyone if you don't remember all this show, like the doctors would like sneak out of the hospital and like break into people's houses to find out, "Oh, you use lead paint and this one thing, and that's the thing." And with my health conditions too." I was like, "There's gotta be, there must be something here ..." There's gonna be a doctor that finds it. And so I totally understand, like, you go down that rabbit hole, like and you hold off for it. But there's like, also maybe because of that, that hope or because of that fixation, you might miss what is (Jenny: Yeah.) actually right there in front of you.

Jenny Swisher  

Absolutely. And I kept thinking that. I kept thinking, you know, this just came on and my husband and I got married at an early age. We were highschool sweethearts. We got married right out of college. And almost instantly after we came home from the honeymoon, I started experiencing these migraines and then they slowly became daily. And like I said, I found myself in multiple doctor's offices and super frustrated because I was spending a lot of money, a lot of time. I was trying a lot of different pharmaceuticals on myself. I felt like a human guinea pig. I did you know I was I would go into hospital settings for overnight stays for IV drips that were just simply trials like drug trials to see if things would work. And so I finally was, you know, to give you the sort of high level version of the story I I was on a walk with my yoga instructor because yes, I also tried yoga during that time you'll try anything. I did chiropractic, Pilates, yoga. I did, like I said, acupuncture, like everything possible. If someone mentioned it, I was like, "Sure I'll try it." (Lesley: Yeah.) And through that journey. I met my yoga instructor who is now one of my very best friends and she really was a respite for me during that time. She had a family member who was also struggling with migraine and so it felt like I had somebody who would listen and who had she knew somebody that was going through something similar and it was so good for me to have that outlet instead of just always dumping it onto my husband or or you know my family. And ...

Lesley Logan  

Well, and also that have someone like you just said that understands because I think I think thank you for explaining that you had like these two and a half day long migraines. I think people think, "Oh, I had them migraine." Or sometimes people say, "I have a migraine." They just like throw it out there. And it's like, (Jenny: Yeah.) people don't realize that like when someone actually truly has like migraine like it can this is debilitating. Like this is taking over your life. So you (Jenny: Yeah.) really do need someone who actually understands that, someone not just like, "Okay, like you have a headache like it's a hard headache."

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And so I was on this walk with my friend Jen. And I was at a breaking point, I was at that point, I was carrying painkillers in my pocket. I had sort of resolved myself to this idea that, in order to get through each day, I was gonna have to just take the painkiller as a preventative thing, like I was gonna have to wake up every day and just take this painkiller. And she said to me, "You've got to, you've got to stop doing this, like, you've got to, you've got to find someone else, like, I'm gonna refer you to my friend, she's a functional medicine doctor, perhaps that can be an answer, or maybe she can connect you to the right person, you got to keep trying." And she really was sort of like, you know, I felt like I was almost on a ledge, and she was talking me off the ledge, like, "You can't give up, you've got to be your own best doctor, you got to keep advocating for yourself." And so she referred me to this functional medicine doctor. All of this was happening at the same time that another friend had introduced me to Home Fitness. I started with P90X the old school DVD program, this this was, I don't know, 12 or 13 years ago, it feels like forever ago. And I just thought at that time, and it's only going to make sense probably to people who have dealt with chronic pain issues. Sometimes the only way to escape the chronic pain is through a distraction. (Lesley: Yeah.) And for me, the exercise was almost as painful as the migraine. And so it was like it was it was putting other parts of my body into focus. When I was doing a workout or holding a wall squat. All I could think about was the wall squat and I wasn't thinking about my headache. And so for me, exercise became my relief, it became this thing that I really looked forward to, and it started with that home program. So all of this was happening at once I started seeing a functional medicine doctor, I started exercising more I started getting into nutrition, and I really sort of the doors were opened for me, I guess you could say to this idea of proactive health, as opposed to taking medications to treat my symptoms. What if I really started looking at my lifestyle? What kind of food was I putting in my body? What was my sleep like? Really, you know, the term biohacking was fresh back in the day, 12 years ago, and that term started popping up into the podcast I was listening to and really started surrounding myself in that environment. And so long story short, I became a coach with Team Beachbody in network marketing business. And I started helping a lot of people, building a team of health coaches and using our home fitness products at the time. This was 12 years ago. I worked my way into the top of the company for that. And my husband and I decided let's take this to the next level. And I said I can't do anything else until I get these headaches figured out. And so thankfully, because of my functional medicine doctor doing the right kind of testing on me that no one had ever done before. And for her really taking the time to hear about how this pain was happening and patterns that were behind it. And just having someone to listen, I started meeting the right specialists and meeting the right people that could tell me, "Hey, we actually think your headaches are hormonally triggered." And so that led to this idea of you know, okay, I want to learn more about hormones, then because I don't feel like I really, (Lesley: Yeah.) I didn't understand my mens... I didn't understand my menstrual cycle. This is when I'm in my 20s, my husband and I had gone off of birth control. Lesley: Which it's own, like.) And so I'm like ...

... which everyone (Jenny: Yeah.) just so you in case you don't know, in case you've never gone off. Just getting off doesn't mean okay, you're like you just snap back, like the body has been forever. Like there are so there's actually a book called like After The Pill, I think or Beyond the Pill. (Jenny: Yeah.) And then there's like, just if you anytime you're doing anything hormonal to your body, it's going to take at least 100 days for changes to be made. And oftentimes, we're just like, you're just taken off of it. And no one like goes just so you know, it's gonna be a little weird for a while.

Jenny Swisher  

It's a roller coaster. Yeah, just get ready for the roller coaster. Yeah, exactly. And so but I didn't I didn't put the two and two together at the time. It didn't make sense. (Lesley: Right.) No, of course. Now, when I look back, I'm like, "Well, of course, I had gone off of birth control, and my headaches spiraled out of control." I never made that connection. Right. (Lesley: Yeah.) And then, unfortunately, I never had a doctor to ask that question to make that connection either. And so anyways, so we ended up, you know, getting to sort of the root cause of my headaches, which for me, people always say, "Well, what is it?" The root cause for me tends to be estrogen dominance, which is when my estrogen is too high in relation to my progesterone. That's very common for women and perimenopause after the age of 35 not so normal for women at the age of 22. And so I really once I started to learn what that trigger was, and I started to supplement accordingly to really help my body detoxify that estrogen, estrogen and to eat the right foods. And so I went on progesterone, bion... bioidentical progesterone cream, supplementation once those things started to happen. I, you know, I was able to eliminate all pharmaceuticals and really just focus on these nutraceuticals and it was life changing. But I just want to mention, too, that at that same time, it explains so much about our infertility journey that we were also on. And at the time, becoming pregnant and starting a family was not a priority for us because I was in so much pain, but it was also this sort of thing in the back of my mind that was like, "Gosh, I've been off birth control now for several years then nothing's happening." (Lesley: We haven't even had oops.) Exactly, exactly. And so you know, and so I started thinking, like, once I started learning that the headaches were hormonally triggered, I really started to sort of dive into that. I started to dive into wanting to just be an expert on hormone health, and really to learn about my own body. And I started to make these other connections (Lesley: Yeah.) about our fertility, our fertility journey, as well. So all of that to say that it's been my story. And it's been something that you know, I always say that when somebody you know, whether it's photography, or whatever, whenever somebody gets into something, right, you can become obsessed with it to the point of becoming becoming an expert. You know what I mean?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah ... But and like because you became an expert, like, that's, like the though, it only makes sense that you take all this information and you share it with the world instead of keeping it to yourself. Like I (Jenny: Yeah.) you know, and, like, it is, for every, there's I know, so many of our listeners, like, "Oh, yeah, the hormones." Like another, another person who wasn't helped. Like, and I also in those listeners, like, "Oh, my gosh, like, maybe that's my problem." And so for those people, you know, what are like, for people who are like just thinking maybe this is what I've got going on? Like, where should they look in their communities for support? Like, what are the type of people to like, type of titles to look for? Because obviously took a yoga teacher to connect you to a holistic doctor, like, who should they look for in their communities to maybe get the right testing?

Jenny Swisher  

Well, the first thing that I'll say is, thanks to modern technology, a lot of this stuff is becoming more talked about. So there are podcasts out there, not just mine, but others there are digital courses out there, not just mine, but others there are lots of things virtually, that you can tap into to really start to learn about yourself. But if you're looking for somebody to work with, like if you're looking for a functional practitioner, I always tell people to start by going to ifm.org, which stands for Institute for Functional Medicine.org. You can do a search by zip code to see if there's a functional medicine practitioner near you. You can also do searches for things like integrative health practitioner, you know, naturopath, those types of things to really, and I would, here's the bad thing is that I always tell people, I'm like, "Just because you find someone that has that title doesn't still doesn't mean that it's the right doctor for you." (Lesley: Right.) So one thing, one thing that I like to do is I take with my course takers, I give them a list of questions to ask the doctor. (Lesley: Oh cool.) And a lot of times I'll tell them before you go to the doctor, have this sort of interview with the office, call the office and say, "Do you do this type of testing? Is this you know, are you planning on testing me on certain days of my cycle?" Like ask these certain questions that really sort of rule out the people who are not going to be working well. (Lesley: Yeah.) And it shows you what they know, you know what I mean? And so that's something that I like to supply people with is just this, this idea of like, okay, how to find the right doctor? Yes, but how to weed out the wrong doctors, too.

Lesley Logan  

I love this. Actually, this is like so helpful. And because we actually have done this with like, interviewees, like people we want to interview, like, we'll put it in, depending on the type of job that we're looking for, like almost a trick question, not to like, be mean. But like, if you have to pay attention to detail, and you don't answer a question that has detail in it, then I don't want to read your application, I don't want to do an interview with you. Same thing goes with like, you can look up a Pilates instructor near you. That doesn't mean that the right Pilates instructor for you. So like, there are ... (Jenny: Yeah.) anyone you're looking for you you don't want to go, "Oh, this is the person. They are the holy grail." It's like, go in with some questions and make sure that they are the person who understands your issue. Like how many people have they helped with this problem? (Jenny: Yeah.) Have they seen this before? Or do they have like, one of my friends is a holistic doctor. And she has a huge network of doctors that she can reach out to if a problem is not something that she's familiar with, or she's exhausted all of her options so that she can either forward you on the right person with all the information or get the support from them that they have from their expertise. And so I think it it really does require like testing to see if the person you're talking to has a willingness to learn and a willingness to fight for your fight for your health. And you're not just (Jenny: Yeah.) another person that they're seeing that day.

Jenny Swisher  

Yeah. (Lesley: Yeah.) Yeah, I think I think you have to be your own best doctor. And I think that you have to go into the the appointment knowing that I mean, I don't know about anybody listening. But I know for me, especially after I feel like I'm an expert in sitting in doctors offices, after years of doing it. I felt like I got to the point where they were just going to diagnose or give me whatever I was leading them to. You know what I mean? (Lesley: Yeah.) Like you're, you're leading the doctor to the eventual answer. And so the more hormone literate you can become about your own body and your own cycle. For example, in the case of hormone health, the easier it's going to be for the doctor to make those connections or to really truly help you. I find that most people don't have the awareness that they need the self awareness and the body awareness of their own body to be able to go and get a proper answer from a doctor. And so it starts with that but then when you are in that situation, being able to when you go into it knowing like this is how my body is supposed to operate. This is how it's supposed to feel. These are the things that I've learned about hormone health and I'm not I'm low in energy or I'm this or I'm that that then you can go into the appointment say, "Hey, I think this is how I'm supposed has to be feeling. But instead I feel this way, what are some things that we can look into?"

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, and I think so this is this brings up something that like I find, I feel like it may be it's only in like Western culture. But what I've seen is most people are so disconnected from their bodies, that they don't even know how long they haven't felt good. Or they that this has like, how long have they been sweeping it under the rug and tell the rug is full. And it's like spewing out the stuff. And then they're like, when was the last when was the last time you felt that until this, it's like, I actually don't know. And so then, especially for my situation with my stomach issues, I had thought something was like a stomach bug. And then I thought it was like food poisoning. And then it came in, it just kept morphing. And because I got stressed about it. And because I waited so long and tried different things, I exacerbate the problem to them becoming multi systematic. So that my brain, I wasn't doing a good, I wasn't sleeping, so then I couldn't actually create digestive cycles. And so then the stomach issues I had ended up becoming where I had no stomach acid. So now I'm not you know, so became this whole thing, because I had either waited too long, tried leaving the doctor's down a certain path instead of just like really just taking a high level view of like, where what's going on and what, like, as these things aren't causing each other, but these things are individual things. And it's you know, I don't know if the answer is that every single day, we should just all like otter into like, like a voice message into ourselves like, "This is I woke up. This is I slept last night. This is what I'm going (Jenny: Yeah.) to eat this morning." But we kind of do so that you can see like, where did the pattern start? When did I start (Jenny: Yeah.) feeling like low energy? When did I, when did this bloating become daily? When did these migraines become consistent?

Jenny Swisher  

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think I mean, it starts with I mean, I don't think there's a problem with that at all. I mean, I think every single day when I wake up, I think about I look at my Aura ring stats. I look at okay, did my heart rate recover? Well, that I, what was my sleep score for the night, and that sort of determines my day, right? If I had a terrible sleep score, I just came off of COVID. So my sleep scores haven't been the greatest, right? So I'm listening to that I'm not going to push my body in a workout. If my sleep score is terrible, and I didn't rest well the night before. So it starts with that paying attention to how did I sleep? You know, am I am I eating enough? Especially for women, I see a lot of women not eating enough like, are my eating enough? Am I eating enough protein? Am I am I exercising in the ways that align with my energy, which a lot of women aren't doing either, right? They're doing things like the elliptical or the treadmill nonstop, as opposed to mixing things up. So I think then your lifestyle can adjust if you just listen, you know, the number one testimonial that I get from the women in my course. And this, I told my husband recently I'm like, it's sort of sad that this is so commonly said. But so many women come into the course and I give you know, in the course I give like meal plans, I give you customized fitness calendars to sync with your cycle, I give you the questions for your doctor and supplementation to request and all these different things. And the one thing I hear from them is, "This course gave me the permission, I needed to listen to my body." And I hear that so much. And it's like, I don't know, I mean, it must I don't know if it's society, or what leads us down this path of of, of believing that we're crazy or believing that we shouldn't listen to our body or we should follow societal norms, or we should pound the pavement when it comes to our workouts or whatever it is. But I think there's peace and saying, "Okay, well, how did I do... how did I sleep last night? What was my day like yesterday?" And paying attention to that day to day, so that you can then make the decisions on what's going to give me energy. (Lesley: Well ...) At the end of the day, it's about the energy.

Lesley Logan  

And I think so I would love to know what we were all told to stop listening to our bodies. But the other thing is, is I think what's very fascinating is women especially like men's hormonal cycle is very different. And so their workouts can pretty much be the same no matter what day of the week it is, they can they don't have to like, they don't ... they can actually do their hit classes three days a week, and then whatever. Like they, whatever their body wants, it's fine. Whereas I didn't know this. I worked in gyms, I worked with some of the top trainers in the world who studied all this physiology. And no one said, "Hey, just so you know, when you're on this part of your cycle, you should probably be just doing low impact stuff. And when you're on this part of your cycle, depending on how your body feels, you can do double dose workouts, you can do these things." And I was like, when I found this out, only two years ago, I was like, "Oh, so I don't actually have to feel bad that I don't feel, I don't have the energy to actually do that workout that I did two days ago, because I'm (Jenny: Yeah.) not supposed to. I'm not supposed to have that." And so what ended up happening was as soon as I started doing my workouts based on my hormones, I started seeing way more impact in the workouts I was doing they were way more effective, more efficient, and it felt good in my body like it really felt good. (Jenny: Yeah.) You know. I didn't I didn't feel like well, that workout just took me out for the whole day.

Jenny Swisher  

Yeah, when I started learning about cycle thinking fitness, I didn't want to believe it because I had been this con and the P90X was where I started essentially, you know, I was following this calendar day in and day out without realizing that it was you know, it's a calendar designed for men. I mean, fitness in general, we talk about all these different things as it pertains to periodization training and even with with nutrition things like intermittent fasting and ketogenic diets and all these things. And what people don't always realize is that the research for this that's been done has been done on men. And I follow Dr. Stacey Sims out of Australia. She's fascinating. I felt I've taken her course, she has a viral TED Talk on this topic. But she talks about how, when researchers were asked, "Why don't why they don't study women, when it comes to fitness nutrition?" Their answer was, "Well, women's hormones make them too complex to study." And so instead, women have just followed suit to the the male exercise patterns or the diets that tend to work for men. And, you know, to kind of come back full circle to one of your original questions was how did the course come about? When my husband and I, we had a personal training studio for five and a half years, and I was training people I was following this 90 day transformation theme. I was bringing people in for six days a week of training, we were we were working on different muscle groups working on that muscle confusion. And when I was doing that, I had about 50 50 clients, I had 50% men, 50% women, and I always like to say, the men would always come in and do the workouts, but they would never almost never follow the nutrition. Right. They would just cook, they would eat whatever their wife cooked for dinner or whatever they didn't follow with my nutrition plans. The women, however, would come in, and they would say, "I'm following your nutrition plans, and I'm coming in six days a week and my body isn't changing." And so when I started to experience that, as a personal trainer, and I had my own story with what worked for me and my headache journey, and my hormone imbalance, and knowing that most women maybe feel off or have low energy, but they're being told they're normal, all these things sort of started coming together. And I was like, okay, this is why women aren't able to reach that maximum energy, and to reach that fit lifestyle because a) they're being told they're crazy. They're not getting to the root cause of any imbalances, but b) their training according to a man schedule, (Lesley: Yeah.) their their training, their training in this sort of day and day out grind, and not paying attention to the ebbs and flows of our energies throughout the month. And it's it once you learn it and once you can understand your body and how you can make this work for you. It is game changing, game changing.

Lesley Logan  

How long would you say it takes like if someone is very diligent. How long does it take for them to kind of see a pattern in their in their body? Is it like a three month thing? Because, you know, or is it is can you find out in a couple of cycles? Like how long are we are they having (Jenny: Yeah.) to wait till they can see the patterns?

Jenny Swisher  

Most women will tell me after the first 30 days that they that everything that they did in the last 30 days made sense. So in other words, for example, I have a woman who just recently said, you know, hey, I'm following your I get, like I said to give calendars. And so she's like, you know, "I have a 30 day cycle, I'm following this calendar. And I thought today I was gonna go to the gym and take this exercise class. But the calendar said I needed to scale it back and do a yoga and an active recovery." And so according to her cycle, right, and so she's like, "I listened to that. And I went to the gym anyway, and I didn't do the class, but I just went off into this open gym area, and I followed this yoga routine." And she's like, "I feel so good." Like, she felt so good coming out of that class, out of that yoga that she was doing, as opposed to, you know, the the hard grind workout that she was going to do in the fit live fitness classes she was going to do instead. So they they start to almost prove it to themselves, because they (Lesley: Yeah.) follow, they follow that calendar. And they're like, "Oh, yeah, this is how I'm feeling." And you know, (Lesley: That's cool.) and as soon as soon enough, they start to see this, of course, this is what I should be after that first month, right? Then they know they come out of that first period that they have, and they start feeling that estrogen rise, and they're like, "I'm ready to push harder now." Right. I've had the active recovery now I'm ready to proceed, and they start to get into that rhythm. And when you get into that rhythm, you can't go back.

Lesley Logan  

You know, so this is so true. Because, um, so I have to film about 10 to 12 workouts every month. And when we had set up the week to do it, the team was just like, okay, it takes us this time, much time, like they work backwards from what it had to go up. So they're like, "This is your filming week." And I was like, "Okay," so I'm doing it. And like, you know, I was like, I frickin love my job. Like, I love what I created for myself. I love my members. I love everything. I frickin don't want to do this right now. And then I'm like, "Is something wrong with me? Do I not like, I don't like why don't I want to do the thing that I love doing? Like I love Pilates. Oh, because it's literally the wrong week for me to be on camera." Like it's like when there's like literally a week where it's like, I want to be by myself. I want to be inward, I want to be retrospective. So it's not even that I can't do the workout. It's that I don't actually want to be on camera, doing the workout. And so as soon as we switched when it happened, not only is the workout the right for me, it also was the right time for me to be out and about doing it. And it is such night and day difference when you actually like can figure that out for yourself. And so for me, I you know, I do like a CrossFit type of thing with my dad and my husband, and we go three times a week. And so when it is the type of week that it's like this is not really what my body wants to do. I don't care if it's for time. How much time do I can I take? Can I take 45 minutes to do this? I'll be the last one, that's fine. I'm not usually but I will, I will go slower, I won't pick up the heaviest weight. I'm like, "You know what, I'm gonna pick up a little bit lighter weight, I'm gonna give a listen to that. So that I can still be or my family, but be honoring my body can actually do in this moment right now." And so that takes a lot more a lot of courage. I definitely was like, is people gonna pay attention? No, they don't care. No one's looking to see what weight you picked up. They don't see that you picked up a lighter weight, they don't see that you're going slower that day. Like no one's actually paying attention to you. And so it giving yourself that permission to do it a little bit less, give yourself or what's really cool is when it is the time that I can go harder. I just go harder. I'm like, I'm not I don't even care. I don't care if I'm the first one done by 10 minutes. I'm just gonna (Jenny: Yeah.) because it is freeing to know that (Jenny: Yeah.) information that like now is the time to like, turn it up.

Jenny Swisher  

Mm-hmm. Yep. And you feel it. Yeah, you feel it within you, you know, you feel that energy go up, and you're ready to push.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. What are some other things that a hormonal imbalance might look like? So for you is migraines, for other people, it's like frustration, crankiness. You know, ... irritation. Like what are some things that people might not realize could be from a hormonal imbalance?

Jenny Swisher  

Yeah, and I always like to tell people, you know, that, for me, it was a very, I would call it severe manifestation, right? Like I was able to, I've had the migraine every day, and I had to get to the cause of what was going on. Not everybody has severe symptoms. So not everybody will have a migraine every single day, right? Or menstrual cramps every single day, but they start to see, again, it comes back to that energy, the thing I hear the most is, I have trouble getting on to getting out of bed in the morning, or I feel like I'm crashing mid to late afternoon. And I have to rely on caffeine to get me through the rest of the day. Whenever I whenever I start to hear things about energy, I start to really my ears perk up because I say, "Okay, something has to be off." Most likely from a hormonal perspective. I teach in my course and on my podcast, I teach hormones through analogies, because that's how I learned. Right. I probably would never would have, you know, medical school would have thrown me off if it was to textbooky because I want to learn everything as as visually as I can. And so for me, I like to teach women that your your hormone system, your endocrine system is like a four legged chair, you have four legs of that chair, and what happens if I saw if one of those legs so let's talk about it. So if you have four legs, you have your sex hormones, you have your cortisol, which is your stress, your thyroid and your blood sugar. So if I was to saw even just an inch of let's say, your blood sugar leg of your chair, what happens to the whole chair? The whole chair, but yeah, the whole chair becomes wobbly. The foundation that your chair sits on the floor that it's sitting on is your gut health. So the first thing that I like to talk about with women is you know, what, what are your digestive? What's your digestive health? Are you going to the restroom every single day? Are you going multiple times a day? Are you uncomfortable? Is there bloating? Is there gas? Is there cramping? Like what does that look like? Because we want to address any sort of gut imbalances or the gut microbiome first. But after that, then we really take a look at okay, let's see what we if we can figure out which leg of the chair is the weakest which one is causing the issue? I will tell you that you asked what symptoms do I see most I would say the majority of women are suffering from as a root cause, either blood sugar instability, or what we would call adrenal issues, which is a cortisol response issue stress, right? Stress, sleep, that sort of thing. Those are the two most common issues. But like I said, they can sort of pull on the other ones. So for example, in my case, right I am, my sex hormone, leg of the chair was the weakest, my progesterone was not producing itself in my own body, without supplementation, without help. So but because of that, it pulls from my cortisol in order to operate. And so what happens is, then I don't sleep then I start having night wakings and I start having a sort of a more severe stress response to things right, like the whole chair shifts. And so you can get to the root cause of that pretty easily through testing that is unfortunately not done in the most in the average doctor's office. (Lesley: Yeah.) And that's, that's something that's not talked about either, and I hope that in the next 10 years, this type of testing is is common. I hope every woman is getting it from the time they're in their 20s until they are entering perimenopause or menopause.

Lesley Logan  

I agree. I think like, well, first I think more and more people are asking for like they're they're getting more acutely aware that like when they say, "We ran a panel." It wasn't a full panel. (Jenny: Right.) And they're also getting it's more and more people are understanding that like, "We actually don't know what the range should be for you." (Jenny: Yeah.) We they, they did a test on like, I don't even think it was a ton of people it was like I don't know, maybe 100,000 people is not a lot and then they took off it's like the Olympics they take off the bottom two and a half percent and the top two and a half percent and they go, "This is the range that that should be." But we don't know how many men were in that test, how many women were that like what that is where you need to be based on like the lifestyle that you have and like what you're doing and so like when I was told everything was in range. This other person who actually did like 200 tests my body he was like, yeah, he's like, "Yeah, your range by one point on your B12." He's like He's like," I have seen people like go suicidal on this." Like that is not like that's not you don't want to be that low, like you actually want to be up here like he's like you're he's like, "Yeah, sure you're in range on vitamin D by one point." Like I, he's like, "I should have you in the hospital, you're so low on these things like this is not okay." And so yes, it's so it's really important that we know. But I think also more and more people are becoming aware through the works of you and other other people out there that like, there are more tests to be done. And I think if the more people are being told you can advocate for yourself, you actually can say I need to have these tests done, it would make me feel really comfortable if I have them done. And you can actually go to a different doctor, you can like now I know insurance in the US is frickin nightmare. I am in the nightmare of it. And it is hard. But we have managed to figure out within the network, we're allowed to be in like, like we've been able to find people who will listen to us. And it that is a job. And it's annoying, and it's frustrating. But we get this one body, we get one, you know, so (Jenny: Yeah.) we can't just brush it off and go, "Okay, well, this is just the life I'm going to this is just how it's going to be." Like that you don't (Jenny: Right.) you all are here with such an amazing impact you can leave on the world. And if we don't have your energy at the normal levels, if we don't have you sleeping the right way. If you don't, then you can't be the person you want to be ever. So it's not gonna be possible no matter how many books you read, no matter how many podcasts you listen to, it's just not gonna work.

Jenny Swisher  

Yeah, I like to say normal is not optimal. And so just because your range is falling into the normal range, just know that that range was determined by a broad, broad pool of people, like you said, and it's not determined by what's optimal. And so if you really do the research on what is the optimal range for D3, or for vitamin D? What's the optimal range for vitamin D? What's the optimal range for progesterone to estrogen ratios? Right. Those types of things, when you really, really dig into that a lot of times you see, actually my results weren't normal at all. They might have been falling into those into those wide ranges, but they're not optimal. And that's what matters. There's a huge difference in your energy between normal and optimal. The other thing I'll say ...

Lesley Logan  

Go ahead. (Lesley: Oh yeah.) Go ahead. I just say I friggin love that ... 

Jenny Swisher  

The other thing that I ... yeah, you're fine. The other thing I'll say is, is especially you know, I mean, I have two young kids, I have a almost six year old and a two year old. And I see this happen so often that women especially will they know that their energy is off, I like to say that they know their check engine light is flashing. But because we're women, almost everybody else comes first, right? Our kids come first making sure that their lunches are packed, and that they have their doctor's appointments and that they're taken care of and, and sometimes we just think, "Oh, it's just me." Right. Like I just have low inner, I just need to go to sleep earlier, or I just need to do this, or I'm just not doing this. And we put the blame on ourselves, even though deep down. It's like no, there could be something functionally going on. And you have to make that a priority. You have to make it a priority to sort of number one, be you know, be your own best advocate and find the right person who will listen to you but also do the research to know what is optimal for me.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Oh, we could keep going forever. I'm gonna have to have you back. I'm sure I think I'm gonna have a panel. Because I've had so many different women experts on here, I think we just have to have a whole panel, can just bring all the minds together, we're gonna take a brief moment, we can find out where we can follow you and listen to your podcast and all the other things. (Jenny: Awesome.)

All right, Jenny, where can people get to know more information like dive in deeper with you?

Jenny Swisher  

Yeah, so the first thing that I'll share is that I do have a free hormone imbalance quiz. So if you want to take a free hormone imbalance quiz to see if your symptoms could mean hormone imbalance, you can go to sync.jenny swisher.com, s y n c.jennyswisher.com. I can give you the link for the show notes as well. If you want if you want to hear more about me and the digital course that I offer and my podcasts, you can just check out jennyswisher.com. And I'm on all social media at Jenny Swisher.

Lesley Logan  

Amazing, we'll have all those links down below. So it's really easy. So you can let... Y'all if you don't have to work your phone, you just swipe up the show, just go. And then there's the notes. And you could just click on the links. We were talking about this today with our team. I was like, "Oh, I always click the show notes, links." And my producer and my husband, "You do?" I'm like, "I'm not gonna remember the URL. I'm on a walk." So I'm just gonna (Jenny: Yeah.) like the things, email it to myself. But look at it later ... (Jenny: Yeah.) So

Jenny Swisher  

Use the show notes. We put time into those so that you can make it easy for yourself.

Lesley Logan  

That's right. We, people do spend a lot of time on those. Okay, BE IT action items. So bold executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us?

Jenny Swisher  

Yeah, so the first thing that I would say, especially as it pertains to your hormonal health is track your cycle. You're only going to really understand the bigger picture when you realize that you are most likely not the textbook. So track your cycle. There's lots of apps out there that are being there. We have one that's actually in development right now for launch in January. But there's (Lesley: Cool.) tons of apps out there that you can you can find tons of resources on on that or you could even just be pen to paper. You can also just write down and journal your cycle and not just when your period starts or cervical mucus which is really important but also paying attention to those signs of energy. What am I feeling like where are the headaches coming on? Am I getting crampy around a certain time of the month. Am I, am I low energy at certain points of the month, because that's going to help you if you do that functional testing to compare and say, "Oh, well, this makes sense because this was low when I was low energy." Right. Number two, number two is find a functional medicine practitioner near you, or even someone virtually, and get the right testing done. You can also do, like I said, whether it's my course or someone else's course, and really just to sort of do the legwork that unfortunately, we should have been taught back in middle school, like really start to understand your menstrual cycle and what what should be happening on a month to month basis. And that'll help you get a better picture, especially when you're comparing that to your own journal. And then number three, and this might be a little bit I don't know, off off the beaten path. But I think this is a super common issue that I see with women, and that is, make sure you're eating enough. A lot of women are not eating enough of the right foods, and they complain about things like carb cravings, or they wonder why they're adding on the excess belly fat or the weight in the hips and thighs. And a lot of times it comes down to blood sugar regulation. And so if we look at are you eating enough? Especially, are you eating enough proteins and fats? You need all three macros to survive and thrive. So if you're cutting anything out, you're most likely going to be finding yourself binging or craving those things. I find that women, when women increase their protein, you want to be consuming at least one gram of protein per pound of body weight. So if you weigh 130 pounds, you need at least 130 grams of protein per day, I assure you, I have to focus on it to make it a priority for myself. (Lesley: Oh yeah.) So I assure you that but most women are not coming close to that number. So if you start to do that, you'll start to actually see where you're not craving the junk food and you're not craving the other things because your body is finally satiated. Doing that alone can stabilize your blood sugar. And like I said before, it's one of the most common issues for hormone imbalance. So if you can really stabilize that blood sugar, track your cycles, find a practitioner who can do this type of testing, you will be on the right path for sure.

Lesley Logan  

Oh my God, I love all of these things so much. And you are correct. I heard that protein thing too. And I was like, "Oh, well how much protein am I getting?" And I was like, "I thought I was doing pretty good because then every meal." No, I wasn't even close to like 60% on my body weight. And (Jenny: Yeah.) so it's like, okay, well how to get more intentional? How we do this? And we even have my father sign over to all the ladies here. But like my dad has been trying to, he's 70. He's like, I don't really like, like this extra weight. If I, if I had a little bit less of it, it wouldn't hurt my knees as much. And what his trainer say. She talked about holistic doctor, and she said, "Make sure he is eating enough protein." She's like, (Jenny: Yeah.) "I would like to get him. If he wants to weigh this much. I want to get this much protein a day." And he looked at us he's like, "How am I supposed to do that?" (Jenny: Yeah.) And so we're like make a list of foods. (Jenny: take effort. Yeah.) Yeah, it's tough. Oh, well, we could talk all day, you'll have to definitely let us know when your app is out. We would love to share that. I am a big fan of like, anything that you can really truly track that makes your life easier for you to figure this out. It is life changing. It is so freeing in your be it till you see it journey. If you can go, "Oh, these are the weeks that I can go take action. And these are the weeks that I'm like, probably gonna want to look at the action I took instead of taking more." Even that simplicity is so freeing. So Jenny, thank you for your knowledge, your expertise, for your time, everyone. How are you going to use these BE IT action items in your life? We want to know. So tag the @be_it_pod, tag @jennyswisher. Let us know. Share this with a girlfriend in your life. Share this with a dude who has women in his life. The more we can all be aware of it, the actual, the faster we can change the way the world works as far as women's health and hormonal health. So thank you so much, and we'll see you next time.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day! 

 'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.  

Brad Crowell  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli. 

Lesley Logan  

 Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.  

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.  

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can.

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

How many times do you walk away from a doctor's appointment feeling discouraged, unseen, and with more questions than answers? No matter how hopeless you feel it is, there is an answer out there. Listen to this episode for ways to approach your appointments, health conversations, and the value of self-advocation.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How LL became comfortable telling her health stories
• Three tips for getting the most out of your doctor's appointments.
• Common should not equal normal 
• How to find the right doctor for you 
• What the middle space means and how to live in it

Episode References/Links:

• Agency MINI
• Cambodia Retreat
• OPC Blogs

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See it interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the advocating convo I have with Jessica in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now, go back and listen to that one. And then come back and join us.

Brad Crowell  

Do it.

Lesley Logan  

You know what this intro just made me realize, 1) where on what episode, 138. And I'm still reading a script. So anyways, there's that and 2) I need to get Lindsay Rathert on, Lindsay Moore on. (Brad: Yeah.) Because we are gonna actually bring her on. She's already said she wants to be on and to talk about how you can be an advocate. So I'm saying that because I know that Brad and Amanda make notes and help me remember.

Brad Crowell  

You just coaching the team right here live on the pod.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, yeah. Let's if they're listening. (Brad: Okay, okay.) Anyways, aside from that amazing announcement that's going to be ...

Brad Crowell  

That's not typically how we do things around here, y'all. (Lesley: No.) We're gonna roll with it today.

Lesley Logan  

I know. I'm getting, I'm giving notes. I'm sure, there's gonna be notes to me. There's any note behind the note. (Brad: Amazing.) Anyways, we are also very ... because we were so busy with Agency Mini week. It is insane and amazing around here, the buzz in this house is so fun, because one of the things we're on this mission to do is more bodies doing Pilates. And one of the ways we can do that, as you know, I've said before, not everyone like's me, I'm not a taco. And so I help, we help other instructors and studio owners grow their businesses, because when they grow their businesses, they're teaching more people. And that means mission accomplished.

Brad Crowell  

Yes, that's very true. So this week is, is one of the two times each year we do Agency Mini, and it's for fitness business owners of all kinds. And it's where we get a chance to really, you know, get to know you, you get to know us and all the you know how that, how our coaching program works during this week, and it's full of amazing foundational information for fitness business owners. And ...

Lesley Logan  

I mean, also we do the webinar foundational information, then we answer all of your questions. (Brad: Yeah ...) No matter where are you are in your business, we have an answer for you.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. But right now, we're in the middle of it. So it's a little too late to jump in. But you can put yourself on the waitlist for the next round, which we're going to be doing early next year. So if you are interested and information about that just go to profitablepilates.com/mini.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, and now we're getting really ready in a week we're gonna be in Chicago ... (Brad: Yeah, hop on a plane.) Yeah, Balanced Bodies Pilates on tour, where I hope we're gonna see you there. And we're gonna see you there, make sure we let us know Brad's and I actually going to be at our booth. And then I will be at our booth and teaching classes. So we want to see you ...

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, and OPC members, check your emails.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, yeah, we're working on, we're working on that meetup. So make sure you are watching for that. And then we come back from that on our anniversary, happy anniversary, Babe. (Brad: Oh thanks.) We'll be on a plane and ... (Brad: It's how we do.) It's literally how we do. I mean, if we let this least this one will be together.

Brad Crowell  

Least this one, we will need together. (Lesley: Yeah.) Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

Because two days after we return. So week and two, like two weeks from now is our in person business retreat. (Brad: Yeah.) So which I can't wait. And many of you are like, "Oh, I wanted to the next one." Well, I don't ... there isn't one. So if you're wanting to be on a retreat with us, then you actually just want to join us in Cambodia.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, look, if you are like super interested in digging into the customer journey, and the entire process, whether you're a brick and mortar or you're an online business, and all the automations that can be associated with either of those scenarios, you still can join us in real life in Las Vegas for the business retreat. If that's something of interest to you just shoot us a DM otherwise, like Lesley said, at the end of October, we are going to be kicking off our Cambodia retreat is gonna be the first one we've run in more than two years. Thank you COVID. (Lesley: I know. It's so crazy.) And we are really really, really excited to be getting back to one of the places in this world that we are just the most passionate about. I know you've heard me talk about it 100 times but truly, it's one of my favorite places to be on this planet.

Lesley Logan  

It's so magical. We're going a week ahead of time (Brad: Yeah.) and I'm not sad that our flight out is not as early as we had planned because we get a few more days ...

Brad Crowell  

It's gonna be amazing to be back there and as you probably already know, I spent a month there earlier this year with Lesley's dad. The two of us went through all 12 bedrooms, we you know figured out what needs to be looked at, adjusted and it was two years of upkeep that you know we were able to like do this great construction on the property, did amazing landscaping and gardening, our place is looking really fantastic. In fact, that just got pictures of our new banana trees that we planted and they're already like, you know, a third again, as tall. It's only been a couple of months. It's crazy to see them grow. You're gonna love hanging with us there. So we hope you come join us.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Because you know what, like, shared experiences are really what makes like life so amazing and interesting. And I had some people ask me on a call, like, "What else should I do when I'm there?" And I'm like, "Yeah, because once you're all the way over there, you may as well bop around." (Brad: Yeah.) And we still might, we haven't actually planned our extra days. But you can go to Thailand, Laos, Vietnam, Hong Kong, Singapore, Bali. I mean, like, they're like, wherever (Brad: Yeah.) you in Southeast Asia have so much fun. So anyways, we hope you join us. And ...

Brad Crowell  

To do so just go to lesleylogan.co/retreat.

Lesley Logan  

Thanks for remembering that. I was like, "Ah what is that?" Anyways, it is Mini week loves. (Brad and Lesley laughs) (Brad: Yeah.) Okay.

Brad Crowell  

But first, Lesley, (Lesley: Oh) we had an audience question respond to. Yeah. (Lesley: We do.) That question was, okay. This is personal. So, what finally made you, Lesley, comfortable enough to share your story about all the health challenges that you had experienced literally starting in college? And then it took, what, 10 years before you were willing to actually be open about all those challenges? (Lesley: Yeah.) Yeah. This is a really great question. This is a very personal question. But ...

Lesley Logan  

I know, I feel like I'm more comfortable sharing the health stories rather than why I'm more comfortable sharing them.

Brad Crowell  

Well, it was ... it's kind of perfect timing for this episode, (Lesley: Yeah.) because of the sensitive topics you were discussing in the interview with Jessica.

Lesley Logan  

You know, I think it's a combination of things. But I'll tell you what, for the for the stomach stuff, I didn't share them for a long time until like, I would like really wait till I had to share them. And then it was like, "Why aren't you eating at this restaurant?" And living in LA and losing as much weight as I lost, I was very aware that people thought I had an eating disorder. And I didn't, I would rather them know that I had like, diarrhea every morning. But I think that I, eating disorder, like I just felt like that was because because I wanted them to know the truth. And I could feel the side eyes and then glances and then the interesting comments. And so I thought a) well, there's probably a lot of people who are like me, and then everybody's treating them the same way as I'm being treated. So I may as well share. And then the other thing was is that my clients were sharing things about themselves that are personal because it was affecting their practice. And I was and then they were going you know, they were acting like I didn't understand or they thought I wouldn't understand. And the truth was I did understand and I just didn't tell them that so I started to realize that my not sharing my stories was actually making people think the wrong thing about themselves, about who I was, about my priorities. And so it just became easier to share than not share and then what also happens when you share to the right people obviously I didn't like go tell a random person I told people as close to so you know if you're seeing yourself in the story like be really careful make sure we have we have a podcast interview coming up with Elle Russ about boundaries but like make sure that you tell someone you know is going to be understanding, don't go tell the person is always a Debbie Downer always sees the negative things and things go tell someone who like really does. It's usually the positive Polly. And ...

Brad Crowell  

I think this I think what didn't you write a series of blog posts (Lesley: Aha.) about your gut journey, your gut health journey. (Lesley: Good memory. I forgot that.) For those of you who are wondering what we're talking about, and what story you know what when she started to share, you can find them on the blog at onlinepilatesclasses.com.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I forgot that we weren't that. I ended up ...

Brad Crowell  

It was like four. I think four or six ... posts, I mean.

Lesley Logan  

Those posts came about after we finally got answers. And so that (Brad: That's ...) also, so I would so if you're trying to do the same thing, first, open up to people that you feel like you can trust with your story, and that aren't going to (Brad: Judge you.) like judge you or shove it ... all everyone feels like that. And what you heard in Jessica's podcasts is just because it's common doesn't mean it's normal. So I told some people and then because those people because I trust those people when those people when the right people to tell they actually people in their network to help me. And then I got help. And once I had answers, then I felt really comfortable sharing the story. Because I wasn't sharing from place up "I need answers". I was sharing place, "I'm on my healing journey". And I think that for me that made the most comfortable to (Brad: Yeah.) share with random people, to write a blog that anyone could read.

Brad Crowell  

Also, there's a little bit of hope when you feel like (Lesley: Yeah.) you have a light at the end of the tunnel. (Lesley: Yeah.) And I that's where I thinking back now, this was many years ago, but, you know, having had a chance to have that 200 page report from the doctor that we found, where he actually sat down explain to you all the things it was, even though even though there was still a multiple year path to being more healthy, and being, you know, healing, it at least there was a path that was like, "Okay, we can do this.: Whereas before, it was always (Lesley: Yeah.) like, "We don't know, we don't know." And this is just terrible.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So if you are in a situation right now, where you don't have help, hope and help, then people that you really do feel like has your best interests at heart of the people to tell, then hopefully, with their network, you can get the help and the hope and then and then that was when I felt comfortable sharing anybody and people were like, "Whoa, I had no idea." I'm like, "I know, you didn't have any idea." Like, it is a lot. So ...

Brad Crowell  

Look, if you are, you know, if you're applying this to your story, and you have had gut challenges that you've gone to every doctor, and every doctor has told you that there's nothing wrong with you, you're probably crazy. And you know that you're not and you know ...

Lesley Logan  

And I did have a doctor telling me that. I had a doctor literally say, I think you have body dysmorphia. I need to go see a psychologist.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, yeah. I'm I'm pulling bits from your story, if you're, if you experience are experiencing the same things, and you've been, you know, dealing with with something for years, and we are more than happy to connect you to the doctor that Lesley found, that was able to actually dig in and have this bigger picture about it. So if that's something that is really of interest to you, and you're just like you're at the end of the road, you just don't know what to do next. Reach out to us and let us know. We're happy to (Lesley: Yeah.) make that that connection for you.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Yeah. So I hope that was helpful. I hope, you know, it's, there's, it's like, I it's like you, I always think about Tiffany Haddish. And somebody I'll have her on the show. But she shared like that she had like a, how about her doing her comedy, and she like, told a story about someday her and she and her mom, I got in a fight in the parking lot, that morning. She told the story and someone heckled it. And she realized in that moment, like, sharing things with the public where they could have judgment around it before you healed from something is not is not the way to do it. So she instead shared what was going on with her family and her joking way and her way of the way that she handles life with close people. And like that requires like, maybe you sitting down and like writing down a list of people who like are like whose opinion of you matter, who always are like they are to help you out. And then she would when she healed from it, then she make it a comedy special. (Brad: Yeah.) And so I think like, that's just kind of how I like interpreted it myself. It's like, "Okay, who can I tell around me? Who I don't feel is going to judge me? Who I don't feel is going to be like, Lesley, we're all going through this." And then and then I was able to write those blogs and now I just talk about it because I you know, it's it, I don't want anyone to think that what they're going through with their health is normal. (Brad: Yeah.) You know, it's just like Jessica said ...

Brad Crowell  

Well, we're gonna cover that.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, just gonna know it's not normal. 

Brad Crowell  

Okay, now let's talk about Jessica. Y'all, you may have already heard Jessica Valant because we had her on as a guest way back at the beginning of the pod. That's because Jessica and Lesley are very close friends. They've known each other for a very long time. So we're so excited to be welcome, welcoming Jessica Valant back to the Be It pod. She is a leader in the Pilates industry, with a background in Physical Therapy. She is the founder of Momentum Fest which is a huge international movement festival, usually hosted out, well, it's always been hosted out of the Denver area. (Lesley: Yeah.) It's moved around and so ...

Lesley Logan  

Well, people from the international community come.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, people fly in from all over the world. It's really amazing. Jessica is a strong believer in self advocating, and she's a mom that is passionate about helping women find a positive outlet for tough health questions. And that's specifically because she has experienced a lot of health challenges since her early 20s. So very similar convo as what we just talked about, Lesley just talked about Oh, but Jessica has been struggling with endometriosis. So anyway, she has been through all the things including multiple pregnancies, IVF, all that stuff. And it's a very powerful interview that we that you held with her. I didn't even know some of that stuff. And I also didn't know that she was so transparent about it. And she basically said, you know, I never imagined that would be in the healthcare industry. But because of all the circumstances that I went through, I am.

Lesley Logan  

Well, I think like, this is if you've ever heard your mess is your message, and I would like hear that all the time from podcasts. And that's kind of how this podcast came to be. Because like, I was a perfectionist, and I was not thinking, like, I like it just so anyways, if you're so basically, she didn't imagine she'd be there. And because her, I don't want to say that her health is a mess. But like, the idea is that like her problems, basically became the thing that she talks about. (Brad: Totally.) She's the best person to talk about it because she's experienced it and she knows it. And so I had to have her back because I mentioned on her first episode, we didn't even get into the women's health. And I was like, well, that's so important ...

Brad Crowell  

We could change that. We could call it your pain is your program.

Lesley Logan  

Oh, well, then it's ours. I'm already putting a little topper on that. That's mine. Mine. All right, I just felt like LL Finding Nemo. Mine, mine. Yeah. What did you love that you said?

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. So I think a little bit of practical advice because I started laughing about this, because we've been paying for health insurance for ever. And we hardly take advantage of it. And this summer, we thought, well, we need to just go get an annual checkup. And I went to the annual checkup. And I don't know, I just sat there and like, you know, was like, I felt like I was like having like a shoot the shit like convo with my new general practitioner. And it was only like partway through that. I was like, "Oh, wait, I have like, I have actually a family history to share with you." And then at the end of it you came in and we met in the lobby, and you said, "Oh, did you ask them about this thing, specifically that you booked the entire appointment to ask about?" And I totally forgot, I like literally forgot. And fortunately, we were still at the office. And I was able to pull the doc aside and be like, "Hey, quick question. But it made me feel hilariously dumb that I forgot to talk to you about the thing." And when Jessica was talking about that scenario, in her in her interview with you, I started laughing because I completely forgot some of the major stuff that that was like that I wanted to talk to him about. So she had very practical advice. She said, here are three tips for getting the most out of your doctor's appointments. Okay, this is any doctor's appointment. Number one is to take notes, and just save them, write them down, write down what it is that you're feeling. And then you can then ask the doctor, hey, you can say to them, "Hey, this is normally how I feel. But I have been feeling these other things instead. Can you tell me what this means?" Right. But the big key thing there is write it down. (Lesley: Yeah.) So that when you get in front of the doctor, you're not going like, what was the thing I can't remember? Like, I mean, I think we've all probably done this with our vet appointments, where we're like, oh, you got like six things we want to vet to check in our dog and we get there. And we're like, we only remember three of them. Like what I need to call my spouse like I can't remember, there was something else.

Lesley Logan  

Well, how about this? You go to the grocery store, and you forgot the thing you went to the grocery store for. (Brad: Sure.) So like this is just sound (Brad: Sure.) human beings do so if you've done this, it's like, there's nothing wrong with you. It's it's totally normal. And so that's why you have a notes app on your phone. (Brad: Yeah, exactly.) It's like ... you can write it in the appointment notes so you have on your calendar, you can (Brad: Sure.) write in your appointment notes, so you don't have to it's like really easy. Come up with a system that works for you. (Brad: Yeah.) And I, I did I did laugh. I like I kind of rolled my eyes actually. Because I was like, the whole appointment was on that thing. What are you doing and talking about?

Brad Crowell  

I talked about everything else, like ...

Lesley Logan  

... like getting referrals, like seven things and I'm like, "What are you talking about? That is not why you made this appointment."

Brad Crowell  

So the second point that Jessica said is, if you are really struggling with something that is affecting your stress levels in which it's very plausible, if if something's wrong with you, it could cause you to worry when you get in front of the doctor you may not actually be thinking clearly, and she suggested to take someone trusted with you to the appointment and just to sit there and be there and kind of look at it from an analytical perspective and make sure that you know, the emotional side of it isn't actually clouding the conversation or stopping you from asking the questions that you should be asking so that could be your partner. Or it could be your best friend, you know, someone who already knows these things about you that you feel comfortable sharing those things with, you're obviously going to have to have permission from the doctor because of all the HIPAA laws here in the United States, and all that kind of stuff about sharing sensitive health information, but I'm sure that's something that they can work out. (Lesley: It's completely ...) It's not uncommon, (Lesley: It's ... uncommon.) So it's like, it's like a parent child thing to, right? Obviously, there's another person in the room. And the last thing that she recommended was to be an advocate for yourself, and to come up with a list of questions for the doctor that you you are allowed to request blood tests, you don't have to sit there and like, hope that they suggest it. You can say, "Hey, I'm worried about this thing. You know, can we do a blood test or can we do a? Do I need to see a specialist or do whatever do I need to take the supplements because of this thing that I'm worried about?" Whatever it might be. Right. And the other thing is, she said, listen, doctors are, you know, you're the client of the doctor. And so doctors are busy, just like you will have clients with your, you know, whether you're teaching or your whatever it is that you're doing for work, you may have clients, you're the doctor's client, so it's okay for you to raise your hand again and be like, "Hey, don't forget about me. You said you were gonna give her give me this referral? Hey, you were gonna fax this thing over? Hey, you were gonna give me a prescription?" Whatever it is, right. You're allowed to be the squeaky wheel.

Lesley Logan  

I used to work at the doctor's office. I did. I don't know if you know this, but I used to work at a doctor's office. And I actually worked in records and then I moved into phone calls. And here's what was very interesting, people who called I'd have their messages and have to go find their chart. Now everything is like do... like as digital, but I had to go find their physical chart. And I have to put the phone thing on the chart. And guess what I got put back on top, I got put back on the top. And so the squeaky wheel forgot their phone calls answered. And I was like, "This system doesn't make any sense because this poor person over here has been patient is getting nothing over here. (Brad: Right.) But at any rate, like it is your health and as your body. And I am going to go into what I loved. I've already said it, but it's just not as common as me. It's normal. Don't let your doctor tell you otherwise. So in that same doctor's appointment, (Brad: Yeah.) same office would end up happening is like the person we're supposed to see. And I really did have Brad, like, look up some criteria of like, what I thought I wanted a doctor. And he did. And he totally did. And he, like she met all the criteria was also close to home. And she was so busy. He was there for over an hour and hadn't got his appointment. So the other doctor in the office just did the appointment and ...

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, for me. So I had not the GP we had booked, but it was in the same office as (Lesley: Yeah.) basically her business partner, I guess, or something like that. Anyway, (Lesley: And he ...) he was like, super helpful.

Lesley Logan  

Super helpful. So great. I haven't watched the two of them talk at one point. And I'm like, "Oh, that guy's really helpful. That's great." But the person I got, first of all, it was like, it was like a night and day difference, not only did no one read what I wrote on the frickin paperwork that I wrote down. They made me answer it again. And then when the doctor came in, she made me answer it again. And like, I wrote it down, and I answered it, and like you have it right there. Like I already feel like you're not organized. Then I was telling her the things I'm concerned about in my body considered going back to family history, my father's had skin cancer, he's had melanoma. So I said, I haven't been a dermatologist since 2018. I'd like to see a dermatologist. She checked my back, just my back and she goes, "These all look fine." And she kind of just, I felt dismissed about that. (Brad: Right.) Then I asked her a couple more questions. And she either so my insurance wouldn't cover it or I don't have to worry about that. Because it's like, you've tested this many different times. And I felt so unseen. So like, even if, even if she's completely corrected what she said, the point is, it's that you it's your body, it's your health, and you have the right to find a doctor who will help you. So I'm going to juxtapose this to the woman who helped me with my IUD removal. And I share that because that was a journey and a half with all of you. But here's the deal that woman advocated for me. She found she's like, "I think I found your IUD. Let me get someone to confirm that I'm seeing it." Got it. Her specialists in her office to look at the ultrasound goes, "Is that it? What what where is it at her uterus? What's going on here?" And then she's like, "Let me go see if I can remove this today." I didn't ask her to because I was told I couldn't have removed that day. But she went to go see if she could do it then. And she came back and said, "I'm so sorry, your insurance won't let me remove it today. But it's a really simple procedure. It's not gonna be a problem. We know where it is." And so just let's and she took me to the front desk to make the appointment. (Brad: Yeah.) And so ...

Brad Crowell  

That's really interesting. (Lesely: So ...) That's really amazing. (Lesley: It's amazing ...) You know what it's funny, I think I feel like like this is a second time. I've heard this story from you, obviously. And I feel like my conclusion was that the first the first GP was advocating on behalf of your wallet because she kept saying your insurance won't cover that. And the reality is, it doesn't matter. You need these tests anyway, this blood worked on anyway, the referral to the doctor anyway, whatever. Right. As so she was almost advocating for your wallet instead of your health. (Lesley: Yeah.) Whereas the second doctor, you know, she was advocating for your health first.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So luckily, I can go to her for my female stuff. And I'm going to find a different GP and I'll just keep the hunt going. But I hope that that helps all of you give yourself permission. Like, I know, it's not especially I know a lot of places healthcare is a really hard thing, whether your government covers it, or you're in the US and the shitshow that we're all in. The reality is, is that it is up to us to advocate for ourselves. And we really do only have this one body. (Brad: Yeah.) We really do. And I don't know why we don't do preventative work. But like, please, please, please, like, take care of the body that you have, move it as much as you can. And when something feels off, write it down. Like Jessica said, take notes. How long is it off? When was the last time it felt right? Because if it is something that is consistently off, dismissing it, it's just going to cause more problems.

Brad Crowell  

Well, I mean, just circle it back around just because it's common (Lesley: Yeah.) does not mean it's normal. (Lesley: Yeah.) Right. And it might be common, you know common across the population. But it doesn't mean it's normal. Our bodies shouldn't be doing some of the things that are happening.

Yeah. And before we go into the BE IT actions, I just want to say this, like I have more female health advocates coming on the show. And there's a big reason why. We have to hear this message over and over again. Because here's the deal, ladies if your health is off, my stomach was off. Jessica has people dealing with pelvic floor issues, those will be off. If you have those issues, it does absolutely affect you feeling confident enough to go to work. It affects you feeling like you can show up and be your whole self. There are things you say no to because you're worried about how, like I said no to amazing dinners, because I couldn't eat the food. And like who knows what would happen there? And so I cannot help you 'be it till you see it' if your health is keeping you from that. So anyways, okay, (Brad: Yeah.) we can talk about this action items now.

All right, so finally, let's talk about those BE IT action items that you discuss with Jessica Valant. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo? Why don't you go first?

Lesley Logan  

 My big takeaway is how can you live that best life in that middle space? I thought this is so good. Like I was like, " this is so good." The ...

Brad Crowell  

Oh first off what, let's explain what the middle space means.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So, day to day action. You know, like the middle, here's the thing, you have a start point. This is like this the middle, you have a start point. And you have a goal. Right? So in particular, with what Jessica was saying is like you you had the life you had then like, then you have this like situation that's going on with your health. And you have this goal at the end, like when this health thing goes away. (Brad: Yeah.) But the reality is, is that because how long test take because how long healing takes because of all because of research all that stuff. There's going to be a middle. (Brad: Yeah.) And I, how do we live our best life? How do we be it till we see it? How do we show up and do other things while we're in the middle waiting for the healing, waiting for the results, waiting for the thing that's going on to be different? And I if you I don't think this is like everything this is whether it's health, whether it's business, whether it's love, whether it's anything like how do we live our best life in that middle space, that space between where we started and where we want to be?

Brad Crowell  

Okay, so, so yeah. So what are those actual suggestions that Jessica had about how we live our best life in the middle?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, so she mentioned like the day to day action. So like, and that's, y'all, there's a lot of days that can be very much the same. And instead of it being redundant, "Oh my gosh, I'm like living this life waiting for the next thing." It's like, what action can you take each day, it's going to give you clarity, it's going to feel really good, then it takes a plan. So you really are going to need to plan and, and that is the hardest part. But then you have to work the plan. My loves she didn't mentioned that, but this is very important. And Amy Ledin's like once you have a plan, you should have to work the plan, and you have to trust the plan. You can't just do it one day, and then the next day. 

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, actually, this makes me think back to your doctor's like 200 page, (Lesley: Yeah.) you know, like all of the research that he did on your, like testing on your blood, and all the conclusions that he drew from it, he came to you and said, "Okay, here's your plan for the next 12 months." Right. (Lesley: Yeah.) And he literally gave you the steps.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, he did. And I had to work them. (Brad: Yeah.) Yeah. Know that it is your journey. I thought that was very key the your, that is your journey. And like, I think it can be easy to compare your journey to someone else's journey, but it's your journey. (Brad: Right.) And it's okay to be in this journey. And, and also one day at a time, it's a process, it will get you where you want to go. So anyways, I feel like I've just this I'm so passionate about this and I hope this is episode ... And so what did you, what are your BE IT loves?

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. So you asked a really great question at the very end of the interview, that that neither of you actually answered. And I wanted to bring it up, back up so that we can answer here, you asked, "How do you find a middle where you can live in that and thrive in that and enjoy it? So that you're not constantly looking at that finish line." Right. And Jessica said, "Right, like endometriosis of which there's no cure." So how do you enjoy the middle? You know, even if there there might not be an end.

Lesley Logan  

Well, I kind of I mean, I kind of I think that was a rhetorical question. (Brad: Oh.( (Lesley laughs) (Brad: I mean ...) Do you want more. I mean,

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, effectively can how can we answer that? You know, how do we how do we find contentedness in the middle? How do we enjoy the journey?

Lesley Logan  

I think it's going to be different for everybody. And I do think like specifically, when, when, when you're one where there is no cure, like I think about Lori Watson, right? She's got back fusions. And so she's (Brad: Right.) like, one day, there's gonna be in her lifetime, they're gonna be like, here's a new spine. (Brad: Right.) Do you know what I mean? And I share that because we just had her on OPC to do a workshop about back stuff. But um, and I think like Jessica with endometriosis, and I think some of these things, maybe, you know, your pain becomes your program. And she is like finding money to raise money for research, we actually can figure out endometriosis. (Brad: That's true. She you did there.) Yeah, I just like I know, I'm so good at circling back to things. And but I think like I said, I think it comes back to the 'be it till you see it' like who, why do you want? (Brad: Yeah.) First, like, what do you want? And also like, you are not your endometriosis, you are not whatever this pain is. I was not my stomach issues. I was not my health. Like, those are the things those are not the things I am, that's not like, here, it's not gonna be on my tombstone here lies Lesley, she had a lot of stomach problems. It's gonna talk about like, the what, I don't know, I don't even know what my tombstone, but it's not gonna say that. So, the reality is I think you need to go back to like, what are you what are you wanting out of this life that you have? (Brad: Yeah.) And where are you today? And then when you work yourself backwards, that's what creates the plan. (Brad: Yeah.) And then I really think you got to celebrate the fuck out of each day. (Brad: Yeah.) And what did go well, and so the highlight of your day is not the pain you're in.

Brad Crowell  

It's the joy of the journey. (Lesley: Yeah. And I'm not saying we ...) So what joy can you find (Lesley: Yeah.) in the journey? How do you you know, I feel like taking a pause, you know, like this brings back Jackie Serviss, Powering the Pause, you know, or Amy Ledin you know, her ongoing battle in and you know, cancer free and then it goes back and ...

Lesley Logan  

She doesn't focus on her cancer every day. I talked to her every other week. She we don't even talk about that. (Brad: Out of remission. Yeah.) Yeah. We talked about the action steps she's taken that day, what she's celebrating, what's going well, and I'm not saying that any of these people nor myself ignore the pain, you still are advocating for yourself. It's just that you know, what we what, what we manage is what grows right? What what we appreciate, appreciates. So you can each day appreciate the good things that happened that day the people that you love, the the people that open the door for you, the people that, like, supported you, and yet this other stuff can still have happened. But you can we, if you focus on all that good stuff, I think you're just gonna feel fucking better. And you're (Brad: Yeah.) going to enjoy that medal. And then you take notes like each day about, like how you're feeling about the thing that you're trying to solve a problem on. But I don't know, like ...

Brad Crowell  

What we appreciate, appreciates.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, it really does. So I think I'm a verbal processor. I hope everyone followed that. And I hope and if you're like shouting out from your phone, like to me and Brad, what the answer is, then send it to the @be_it_pod. (Brad: Yeah.) And I'll post it, I'll talk about it in a future episode, because I would love to hear how you are trying to live and thrive in the middle without without your whatever your thing is holding (Brad: Yeah.) you back. It's there, it's part of the journey. It makes it ... Here's the deal, have you ever heard anybody inspiring a story? Say, "I had it like this amazing life, and it was so fucking great. And then I got here and I made this amazing thing. And it's so been so fucking great." And then ... no, every single person, including Oprah, her fucking self, they all came from some sort of pain. And then they used it to create the programs and the platforms, and another whatever 'p' where we want to put in here to to help others. So they and they don't focus on the pain that they came from. It's just part of the story. It's part of their middle, and it's what helps them reach other people. So anyways,

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. Well, that's awesome. I think that was a great answer to a rhetorical question.

Lesley Logan  

Well, I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell  

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan  

Thank you so much for joining us today. We're so grateful you're here. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Let us know by sending a DM to the @be_it_pod Instagram. And we will catch you on the next episode.

Brad Crowell  

Bye for now.

Lesley Logan  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day! 

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'. 

Brad Crowell  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli. 

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing. 

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi. 

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can. 

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Jessica is back on the Be It pod to share her health journey and to address the hard topics that many women feel but never speak about. Listen in to gain practical tips for addressing your next doctor's appointment, how to advocate for yourself, and the importance of normalizing conversations about women’s health. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Tips for getting the most out of your doctor appointments 
• Sharing is how we know we are not alone.
• Why common should never be “normal”.
• How Pelvic floor physical therapy can benefit you.
• Find the person to listen to your story and give concrete action items.
• Discover how to live your best life in the middle.

BIO 

Jessica graduated from Regis University in Denver with her Master’s Degree in Physical Therapy in 2000. She received her Pilates training in

2001 through Polestar Pilates and is a Nationally Certified Pilates Teacher and PMA approved continuing education provider.

She has worked with thousands of clients of different backgrounds, ages, injuries and abilities, to help them reach their ultimate health goals.

Jessica is recognized as a leader in the Pilates industry. She has a successful YouTube channel, membership site and blog. She has been named a top 10 finalist in the 2015 Pilates Anytime Next Instructor Contest and a Creator on the Rise by YouTube and has been featured in Pilates Style Magazine (including as a cover model in 2020), Shape, Buzzfeed, Yoga Journal and Thrillest. She teaches popular workshops and courses to other health care professionals and Pilates instructors and is considered an expert in the women's health arena.

Jessica and her husband, Brian, founded Momentum Fest, a three day Pilates and movement festival, in 2017 in order to create an inclusive, loving and fun place for all people to celebrate movement together.

She is married to her best friend and their days are spent in Denver wrangling two young kids, being in the sun, living their passion through work and drinking coffee.

Episode References/Links:

• Jessica Valant Pilates Website
• Follow Jessica on IG
• Check out Jessica Valant Pilates on Youtube
• Otter Notes
• Profitable Pilates HealthCare Advocacy Course

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Jessica Valant  

Hey, Be It babe, this is for you. This is, this interview is for you. I am so excited to bring back a guest. She's one of my dearest, dearest friends, you'll hear me introduce her. But also she is truly someone who is here to help with this subject. And something I've seen in my own health history and then also, in my clients that I work with, and the people that I coach, and my own family, just women around me is how many are going through a health struggle that no one knows anything about. And either they have not been able to find an answer, or it's taken them years and years and years. And I know that every single one of you listening to this, is here on this planet to make a difference in the world. Like, truly. And even if you're listening to this and say, "Lesley, I am not on a podcast. I'm not on social media. I'm not creating anything." I don't care. None of those things, those things make an impact for those that make an impact. Or you can make an impact with your neighbor, you can make an impact with somebody walking down the street that you smile at. And you help. Right? You, you you make more of an impact than you think. And especially if you are in line waiting for your kid at school, and you share something going on with you, health wise with someone who can then go, you too. So this conversation about. Jessica Valant is back. And we are here to talk about women's health. And it's because she has her own journey with it, I have a different journey. But there are so many moments in there that I just wanted to like pause and just like almost have the team rerun what she said. So feel free to pause and rewind. So you get that. Because it's so important that you hear this episode. It's so important. I say this later. And I will say it now because you need to hear it so many times. If you are not confident and comfortable having tough conversations with people in your life, then share this episode with them. So that you can start the conversation in a way that feels a little bit more like, "Hey, did you hear that? Hey, did you hear that?" I understand. It's okay. I felt so weird in my life telling people was going on with me. I mean, literally, by the time people heard I was suffering, I was almost dying. That's literally what the person who looked at my results on my test said, he's like, "I don't know how you're here." And it's because part of the time I just stopped advocating for myself, and I was like, "Well, this is just gonna be the life I live." And then I got frustrated with that. And I would start again, and then they would make it worse. And I got to a place where I was really not well. And I don't know if I could have gone very many weeks longer like that. And so I'm so grateful for the different little angels that came in my life to make me feel like I wasn't alone. And there were options. And so I really cannot wait for you to dive into this interview. And I'm gonna stop talking. So you can and please, please, please, please, please, please send this to a friend. So that we all start hearing that like some of the stuff that no one is talking about. Everyone is often going through or know someone who is. You can change the world. We can have bigger impacts, and help people solve their issues or at least have answers sooner if we stopped just keeping it to ourselves and not let anyone know because it's embarrassing or or maybe we feel like we shouldn't be going through that. So I love you. Here's Jessica Valant.

Lesley Logan  

All right, be it listeners, I'm so excited because I actually have one of our one of our original guests actually back here on the pod. I am so excited not only she's a dear friend, and just a beautiful frickin human being. If you don't already know her, you will see that as you get to know her. But she is such an advocate for women and their health. And I'm just excited to have her share that with you and help us all because I think our health as women can hold us back from a lot of things. And it can be not only frustrating, but embarrassing, and even taking away some confidence that we could have in this role. So Jessica Valant. Hello. Hi, friend. How are you? 

Jessica Valant  

You know what? Any excuse to talk to you? I'm great. I know. I know. I don't know, people listening probably don't know, it's the end of Friday. For me. This is the end of my workday. It's kind of early that I have to get the kids after this. And like there's no better way to end my Friday than this and transfer into the weekend. It's perfect. 

Lesley Logan  

Oh my god, I know. Anyways, agreed. I get to teach a Pilates workout after this. So (Jessica: Well, that's fun too.) Still gonna be fun. It's live. So people are there. And then I will do a happy hour with them. So. So it's like you're like you're a part of the finale. It's great. So Jessica, can you tell everyone a little bit about who you are? And even like your journey getting here with your health and things like that?

Jessica Valant  

For sure. So, yes, my name is Jessica. I've been a physical therapist and a Pilates teacher for 20. I always have to look at the date and like what, like 22 years about, there abouts. I graduated from PT school in 2000. So I, I mean, to be honest, I never thought I would be in women's health ever. Like it was not something I wanted. It wasn't. I was like, I'm gonna work with athletes and orthopedic injuries, and I wanted to work with brain injuries. 

So I had this whole different view of what my career would be, as we all do, probably usually. And then I, my first foray into my own issues happened early 2000s. And basically, I started going to the hospital with a lot of abdominal pain, I had every test under the sun. I mean, I was 24. And I had a colonoscopy, and I know you understand some of the stuff and ultrasounds and everything, and no one could figure out what it was. And I just knew I was in pain. And I didn't know what was going on. I had a lot of back pain, I stopped PT. Anyway, finally, I had a doctor who said, "This might be endometriosis. Why don't we go in and have surgery because it's the only way to diagnose it." So in 2005, I had surgery. And lo and behold, I woke up and they said, "Yes, you have an endometriosis. There is no cure for it. You're going to have to manage it. And not sure if you want to have kids, but that's gonna be really hard for you. And good luck." And it kind of sent me on my way. So it was really my very first time of understanding that movement. And health had a whole different purpose other than how we looked, you know, other than, "Oh, I work out. So I can eat a doughnut tomorrow." Like, that kind of was all put to the side in that, okay, if I want to manage this and not be defined by it, because as many women know, if you go on Dr. Google and try to find information, it's pretty scary out there. They don't understand women's health. And there's a lot of scary things. So I knew I didn't want to be one of those stories, and that I wanted to do everything I could to not be defined by my diagnosis. So it started to change how I looked at a lot of different things and taking care of myself. And then along the way, I did I was able to have our daughter, and then I experienced severe prolapse after that. And then I went through IVF with our son, and then had prolapse surgery and two more endo surgeries and the hysterectomy. So along the way, I kind of realized, "Okay, universe, I'm pretty sure I'm in the women's health field now." Because (Lesley: Yeah.) this is what I know about. And you know, that's just a whole other lesson, really in business and finding a niche, but what you know about what you experience can really define how you walk through the world. And (Lesley: Yeah.) that's what it did for me, you know, having kids changed how I see the world and being a woman and experiencing healthcare and everything that comes with it good and bad. I remember sharing my first story and being really nervous. And I'm like, "I'll write about endo." And the response I got was just out of control. I couldn't believe it. And still to this day, 90% of the messages I get are from women. Thank you for sharing about your prolapse. Thank you for taking my hysterectomy. No one does no one does. No one's positive. And I just realized, okay, that's, that's really the road I'm gonna go down because it's not talked about, and there's not a positive outlet for people looking for answers. And so I realized it was a void, I could fill and I think it helped me heal as well along the way talking about it has always helped me heal. So I think it's a combination of those things. And that's where I am now.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, well, well, first of all, (Jessica: Yeah.) thank you for sharing that so that (Jessica: Yeah.) everyone could kind of be on can understand why you care and why this is such (Jessica: Yeah.) a passion for you. I mean, similarly, I had very interesting health issues where no one could know and I had a doctor say to me, "I think you have endometriosis. But I cannot tell you because of that of the surgery part." And also, he said, "You're on your parents health insurance. And I don't want it to be a pre existing condition." (Jessica: Yeah.) He said, "So don't go looking for answers until you actually need them." Which is like when your doctor is like, "Don't do it, because there (Jessica: Yeah.) is no help for you. And then your insurance be more expensive." (Jessica: Right.) Was ... (Jessica: Right.) you know. And so

Jessica Valant  

Right. It's almost like our first limitation right away is insurance. And I know you even put this on your story the other day without getting into the details, but just talking about having to be an advocate for yourself for years. (Lesley: Yeah.) And it's absolutely true that that is one thing I'll say off the bat, it takes work to get answers for yourself. It takes work to be an advocate for yourself. Like I think both you and I would say that hands up, hands down. It's going to take work, and it's worth it. But it does you have to be willing to put your head down and learn a lot of terms you don't want to know and get on the phone and a lot of things.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, yeah, I'll share because I think it's I I had an IUD because I needed to, then first so they couldn't get my period to come back. So this is like how I did it. Because I couldn't be on hormones. So thankfully a doctor, a lovely doctor along the way was like, "You had a blood clot because you can't be on hormones. Like that's where you're at." And so anyways, it put me on a copper IUD and then I couldn't find anyone to get it out because they could and find it. And I even went to Planned Parenthood. And this is to knock that knock knock that I don't want to knock them or anything like that. But like, I went somewhere thinking, "Oh, I'll go there because my health insurance is not going to let me remove this on the same day appointment. So I'll just go to them and they'll be able to remove it." And they couldn't find it. And they said, "I had to get a referral to go to someone special." And it really was me having to be an advocate so much that I actually had to hire someone to find me an appointment. I was like, I (Jessica: Yeah.) just, and I think I share that because like, it's okay, if you have to find an advocate there are there (Jessica: Yeah.) actually are people out there who will help you but not, it's important that we don't let these obstacles get in our way. Because had you done had you let these obstacles get in your way. You not only would you not maybe have the kids that you have in the life you have, but like there'll be a different story. And you wouldn't be who you are. So like how, how hard was it to advocate for yourself? And like what, what one of the conversations you had to have yourself to get along the way?

Jessica Valant  

I and those are such good questions. So for endo alone, it's an average of seven years for a woman to get a correct diagnosis. And not that everyone has endo. But there. I say that to say that women's health, reproductive health is there still a big mystery around it. Like we're just now finding out research that endometriosis has a connection to hypermobility, which has a connection to anxiety, I mean that we know that they are connected. And so when your body is telling you something, listen, like that's the first thing you can do is listen and write it down. Write it down so that you don't start to feel like you're a little bit crazy. Because we can feel that way ourselves like did I feel that? Did I not? Is it my period? Is it not as if there's many things that could be. So start writing it down, like "Oh, my stomach hurt after that meal that was different." Oh, this you know, whatever it is, I would say start writing it down for yourself. And so that you have it maybe to present for someone, but if nothing else, have it for yourself, listen, and just start to know if that feels right to you or not. And the first thing you do is really go to your doctor, I would go to the lowest barrier of entry, whoever it is, like you said, with insurance wherever you can go first and say, "I'm feeling these things. Tell me what this might mean." Like just have a conversation. And that's the first place you can go to see what might be next, you know, do they have an answer for you? How do you feel with that answer? It can take a year or two. So you have to be ready for one step at a time. But just make sure you're talking to someone who's listening to you. And if they're not find someone else, because yes, that I mean, I remember seeing someone in college, had these weird growth legs and I saw a doctor and he said, "You're probably getting drunk and falling down the stairs." (Lesley: Oh ...) What? And I went I went back home with my parents and saw my original pediatrician. He's like, "No," and he pulled out a medical book. He talked me through it. He's like, "This is this weird thing you have," which later I realized is kind of related to endo, I had didn't have my endo diagnosis yet. So being a 20 year old, I just left that office crying and didn't know what else to do. I'm like, "Well, that's it. I don't have anyone else to see." So just knowing that you are important enough to be heard by somebody, and maybe it even takes a virtual appointment, you know, or something. But I think that's the first thing is trying to create a way to listen to yourself and what your body's telling you. Because a lot of us have never actually listened to our bodies. (Lesley: Yeah.) Or we have, we don't listen in a positive way.

Lesley Logan  

We excuse away. We are, "Oh, it's because I ate that thing. It wasn't really that thing. (Jessica: Yeah.) Oh, it's because I'm not sleeping. And so I'm stressed out." And I love I want to reiterate like I love that you said like write it down. This is really helpful for me with my stomach issues because I was able to say to a doctor who gave me some weird thing like that in the ... Y'all, he said that I had he's like, "Are you sure you don't have body dysmorphia?" And I said, "I'm probably do now after (Jessica: Yeah.) 10 years of stomach issues, (Jessica: Thank you.) and (Jessica: Yeah.) my weight fluctuating up and down and not actually know what my actual body looks like." Like I actually don't even know what I suppose to look like. I said, "But I have pictures of what I look like in the morning and what I look like at night. So how, like, you can't say that to me." And he he sent me to the infectious disease unit to go get tested for AIDS. Like, an Ebola unit, everyone like that was a whole thing. And I was like, and the doctor said to me, she looked at me as a woman. And she said, "Do you know why you're here?" And I said, "No, I think my doctor is giving up on me." And she's like, "Are you satisfied with your doctor?" And I'm like, "No, I'm not. I'm not satisfied." But it was because I went to because I had all the stress. And that's the thing like the stress of going to these doctors can be really can also exasperate (Jessica: That's true. Yeah.) other issues. So having to go back to writing things down, because I had a log of when, like, what, how I felt in the morning and how I felt at night. And if it was different, I had like what I ate that day and then also when my period was and how that affected it. It allowed me to see what was more period related versus what was like actually happening when that wasn't happening? So I couldn't agree more. And yes, it's effort. But there are things like otter.ai, my team will put the link in the in the show notes, y'all, you can literally walk and talk and it will just do it for you. (Jessica: Yeah.) Yeah.

Jessica Valant  

Yes. Yeah, take the notes. And my other thing, I always tell every patient, women's health or otherwise, take someone with you to the appointments, if you can. And I know we're not always in this position whatsoever to do that. But if you can take a trusted friend, family member with you, when a lot of information is thrown at you, and especially when you're the one it's about, and so there's some fear with it, you won't hear everything. There it's just impossible to and you'll forget what to ask. You'll forget your own symptoms that are a big deal. I mean, how do we all know best practitioners that we have seen clients are like, "Oh, by the way, like two days later, I forgot this major part of my health history that I should have told you ..." You know we forget. So take someone with you, it will help. Practically not only to have someone to support you, but just practically it helps someone to start that journey to have another ear to listen and voice to speak.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, my first assistant, and if she's listening, "Hi, Lindsay." She actually created a course for us because now what she does is patient advocacy. And she actually talks to, she talks to doctors about how to be better with patients. And I hope I'm not vipping that Lindsay and then she also had, we actually have a course on Profitable Pilates on how to be an advocate for people because as teachers as even a Physical Therapist, our clients do. And I know everyone listening is not a teacher, but like you have fa... if you have people in your life, they say things to you. And they say I don't want to do that they're gonna let me do this. But I don't want to take any pain meds because I don't want to do that. It's important that they either write that down, that's what she said, write it down, then they can take it to the doctor and say, okay, and a script, they want to put me on pain meds. Is there an alternative way that doesn't include pain meds, or having someone there to say, "Hey, remember, you mentioned something. Is there, is there another alternative to pain meds?" They don't want to be on them, because they're worried about this? Like, it's that kind of so she actually taught us how to help our clients be their own advocate, or in the case that we might be able to advocate, like, what that would look like. And so it really is as simple as like, if someone around you is complaining that you know, you've been said that a lot. So let's write that down. So next time you see your doctor, you can talk about it. So you don't forget.

Jessica Valant  

Absolutely. Yes. I think that's and I would say those are the three biggest things. Yeah, write things down. Find someone to be some kind of support system for you, hopefully, in the appointments if you can. And then also, don't be afraid to be the squeaky wheel. Like that's the biggest thing, do not walk out of that doctor's appointment until you have your questions answered. They are there for you. And they will also try to rush out, not on them. But they're trying to see 30 people so that they get enough insurance payment to pay their bills. That's the way insurance and medicine works. So not anything bad on the doctors, but it's what they do. They're trying to rush out. But if you ask them questions, they cannot rush out. So have your list of questions in addition to your notes, write them all down, and go down the list. And don't let them walk out of that room until you've asked all your questions. If you think of one the next day, call the office, talk to the nurse. There's a lot of great medical stuff online now where you can talk to your doctor and leave them questions. So be (Lesley: Yeah.) the squeaky wheel because that's the only way you'll get answers, honestly.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, you're you're so correct on that. And you know, there is a push for them to say to stop calling us patients and start calling us clients. (Jessica: Yeah.) Because that's what we are, you paid whether you pay your is, you pay your insurance, you pay your copay, you paid. And so as a client, you know, there's just, it allows us to not that I wanted any doctors listen, I'm not trying to knock anything that you do, you went to a lot of schooling, but also like to, because of that way, it's seen as a hierarchical, they're in the white coat. I'm down here, I don't know anything. They're super smart. We do, especially as women, we don't want to be disruptive, we don't want to actually take up too much of their time. We don't want to take up too much of the space in the room. We don't want to be seen as crazy or hormonal or any of the things that have any thing about that that could be negative about us. So we tend to put them way higher up and then not actually stand up for ourselves.

Jessica Valant  

Yep. 100% 100% you have to. It's your body. Yeah, it's your body. It's your life. You have to live with it. And that is exactly what women think. And and that's, that is the way it is, it's brushed off many many times and so you do you have to you have to be willing to put in the work and be listened to. (Lesley: Yeah.) And that you matter, you have to know you matter.

Lesley Logan  

Like that could be the like whole mic drop off the podcast. Was there anything, you know, Jessica, you, you have been a Physical Therapist for 22 years. And you were I know running your own business at the time. Like, was there anything when you're going through this health stuff that like was did it keep you from doing other things? Did it keeps you from showing up in your life in any way? Or was it like kind of something you just learned how to balance?

Jessica Valant  

I think some of both, especially some of the emotional part, like I can look back, and there are really specific times that I had to sneak into a client room and close the door. And I was having stomach cramps, so bad on the ground and didn't know why. And I had to hide until I could pull it together. So they're really concrete times like that. And then times I was recovering from surgery that I would be teaching and tell everyone, "Hey, I can't demonstrate that move for six months. Just so you know, but this is what you're gonna do." And then there was a lot of emotional baggage, I think with it, especially during the IVF stuff that I and I just constantly knew. And I think this is a lesson maybe I learned a long time ago. And we all do it. Like, as a women, we all try to right, hide it and be like, "I'm fine. I'm fine." So there was that probably not a good part. But also, I did always walk in every time I walked into my day, I thought, they don't need my problems like my clients. That's not why they're here at all. So I didn't really talk about it. And and I didn't share it at the time, and I tried to hold it back. And now, it's been really interesting with my career different and having a chance to talk about all of it, because it is on video and podcasts and blogs. How many people relate to it? I think, gosh, there's got to be a halfway point that we do you share. Because it's the only way other people know they're not alone. Because (Lesley: Yeah.) like you said at the beginning women's issues can be win, really embarrassing. I mean, I put out a video about sex after hysterectomy. And again, so many DM saying, "Thank you, thank you. I'm so embarrassed, it hurts. I don't know what to expect." Incontinence, you know, is a big one, there are a lot of embarrassing things. So the more we can find a way to share in whatever way is natural for us. Not everyone needs to put it out in a blog post, but sharing with anyone, even just your friend down the street or a mom at pickup, it makes all of us realize we're not so alone.

Lesley Logan  

Well, and I think like I hid my stomach issues for years. And most people just thought I was getting skinnier. And I would wear like I would start the day and the tank top. And then I end the day with a sweatshirt and so no one saw, they were just like, "Oh, it's cold in here." You know, but then when I finally solved the problem, I started sharing it. And also because like I was actually absorbing nutrition. So I started to look like a person who wasn't walking around dying. People were like, "Oh, I feel that I have that. I have those same pains." And then I was like, well, crap, like, was I me not sharing was I holding people back from getting help sooner. Or even me getting help sooner. You know, and so, so it's not like, we should all be taking medical advice from our friends. But like, at least at least with people around you just sharing like, "Hey, you know, I'm a little, today I'm a little I'm not going to be demonstrating because I've got some stomach stuff." Like just saying it, just so people can go, "Oh, yeah," like, even if they just like becomes a little more natural to share. Like it's okay to have something weird going on. (Jessica: Right, right.) That, so it's not weird. And so that is (Jessica: Yeah.) just part of life. And then maybe doctors can actually figure out why the heck, someone that are super stressed and causing themselves not to sleep, and not go through my dis... digestion or anything else. And especially with IVF like, I had so many clients going through that. And I knew their struggle because I had to, but their friends didn't know. And so when they would lose babies they wanted they I'm the only person who knows. And I was like this is this can this is thank you. But I You need to have other people in your life who can support you through this. (Jessica: Yeah.) And they just the whole tradition of not telling anyone is there and that made it really hard. So I think like, I think it is important, even if you even if you just tell one other woman in your life what's going on just so that they can either maybe they know another woman who's going through the same thing. Or I know I'm so grateful for my girlfriends. Who are a little bit older who are hitting like menopause and they're like telling you what's going on and like, "What? I wasn't told that. No one told me that. (Jessica: Yeah.) When this is gonna happen in my life?"

Jessica Valant  

Yep, Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. (Lesley: I'm like ...) Just this morning.

Lesley Logan  

When is it ... Was I supposed to get a magazine in the mail? You know, like ARP? Was that supposed to happen ... (Jessica: Yeah. I know.)How would I have this information.

Jessica Valant  

I know. I was just talking to Brian about perimenopause this morning. It was so hot. And I'm like, "Oh my gosh, because I'm never hot. Like, what's happening? Is this happening? This was happening. What's happening?" And honestly, to be able to laugh about it, too, is so nice because I don't know, maybe it's our mom's generation, you know, something. It was hidden. It was embarrassing. It was like, oh, that hidden thing. I don't know what that is, I don't know what's even happening. But like, we're all getting older. I mean I'm 44. We're all getting older, we're not getting younger. And so it's really nice to walk with people who I love and admire and support and like, "Oh, we can talk about this and laugh and I'm still me." Like, I am still me. And every woman who comes to me if you've had a prolapse, if your bladder is literally hanging out, if you have to pee your pants, when you jump rope, you're still you. You're still a beautiful, empowered human being and you're still strong, like nothing changes that it's only society that's told us otherwise. (Lesley: Yeah.) So yeah, to have people to laugh with, I think, is important.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So I hope as you're listening as you're grabbing your girlfriends, and like, maybe he just like, "Hey, can we just share a little bit?" Because I even like, even just like even reading your stories in your posts, I'm like, "Oh, oh, I actually, you know, I can't jump rope right now. Why can't I jump rope?" Like I don't. Like I would go to a gym and they put jump roping. And I'm like, "Oh, I'll do. I could do ice skater." So I like an ice skate. But like the actual act of jumping rope. (Jessica: Oh, yeah.) And so I was like, that's so interesting. I didn't know that that was a bad, like, not a bad thing. But like a thing I should be concerned about at my age. So then I like went and did some research, and I went and did some exercises. And now, when my hair bun is not in, I can jump rope ,you know. So like, I think it's, um, I think it's just, it's so interesting that we're all disposed to go through life. And like, keep all these things and like this, in this picture, that everything is fine, everything is perfect, everything is wonderful. When all that does is actually make all of us feel a little bit more like an imposter and a little bit more held back. And, and because we're not telling people it is holding us back in our career. Those are, those are hours and days that you would like had to be at work longer, or you are like, even there, there were things that I did not sign up for, like when I was in the modeling and commercials, I would tell my agents, I have to do gigs that are in the morning. If they're in the evening, I can't promise I'll be the size they hired. (Jessica: Yeah.) You know, and those things are like, that was that was a another layer of stress and feeling like I wasn't good enough. And maybe I should just quit this. So you know, it's a lot.

Jessica Valant  

For sure. And I think too, we're told, especially by doctors and medical community, we're told that things are normal, like, you know, like, oh, I'm peeing some after I give birth. That's normal. Well, it hurts with sex like I endometriosis pain with sex can be a really big symptom. And I remember before my surgery is telling my doctor and she's like, "Yeah, it's too bad. You just need to take some Advil before you have sex every time." Like, really like I was 22. I'm like, "Really? That that's what I need to do. Okay." So we're kind of told all these things, or you're a woman that's normal. And I tell people it's not. It's common, yes, like, don't feel crazy. This is very common, actually. Incontinence all of that is very common. Don't for a second think it's normal, and you just have to live with it. Because it is not none of those conditions are normal. There are so many things we can do for it and pelvic floor physical therapy and exercise and so many things. So yes, it's common. Don't feel like there's anything wrong with you. You didn't do anything wrong to get to this point. But don't just let doctor said, "That's normal." And leave. There are answers.

Lesley Logan  

Jessica, that is like amazing. I really hope you all heard that because I think that that there is that word normal that is used in place of common. And if they were to say this is common, and if it is something that is bothering you and holding you back from being a human being, we should look for more options for you. And that is we had Dr. Celeste Holbrook on. She's a sexologist, and her she waited till she got married. She's in the purity culture and they had sex and it was miserably painful. And she's like, "Well, it was the first time." So they needed to get in for a year. It was painful. And her doctors response was, "We'll get pregnant and then it will stretch out. And then ..."

Jessica Valant  

Yeah, and they would never tell a man that.

Lesley Logan  

No. And that infuriated me so much because and then the irony is when she did get pregnant they had have his C section because she yeah, she had two, she had twins with C section so it wouldn't have worked anyways, and (Jessica: Yeah.) she's like, she's like these that was so wrong, because responsibility is like the thing that keeps you from wanting to have sex so then I wouldn't have been having sex anyway. So but she you know that that happened to to her and I hear these things that they say and they my girlfriend was was trying to get pregnant and I knew they were struggling. And I said, "Oh, has he gone to the doctor to get checked?" And they said, "Oh, my doctors don't want him to this is waste his sperm, they like don't." And I'm like, "What? They, is not? They don't have, we have, we have a limited amount." (Jessica: Yeah, it's us.) No. Homeboy can go put it in there and the thing and they can test it, it's not hard. (Jessica: It is enough.) And it's going to be, you're gonna still have an amazing baby. But there's good sperm and like, it gets older, like, I was, like, so frustrated by that. She's like, "I know, but that's what they said." I said, "I don't care. He can go make an appointment. He doesn't need a referral. He can just go." Like, so it's so frustrating to me, that there's always a responsibility on us. And then also, there's this, oh, well, it's normal. And, you know, it can take some time. And, and so I just I think it's, it is hard. I know you all are listening to this, and you have so many other things on your plate. And being an advocate for your own health is a whole thing. But it is essential, not just for you, but for every other woman around you that comes because you can help pave the way. You can help find the doctors and it can be from just simply asking someone, "Hey, I'm looking for another Dr. X. Do you have a recommendation?" When I moved to Vegas, we have to find all new everything. Right? And so I literally found someone who I was like, "Oh, I get along with her well." And so I said, "Who do you go to? And like, do you feel heard when you go there?" And she's like, "Oh, here's my list." Like gave me her whole list. And so I could go down that list and figure out like, "Do I like this person?" ... It at least helps like narrow (Jessica: Yeah.) down the search.

Jessica Valant  

Yep, for sure. And if you need to start somewhere, I actually recommend pelvic floor physical therapy. If you're having any of these things, if you're having pain with sex, incontinence, pelvic floor pain, dialysis repti, if you're postpartum, any of that kind of stuff prolapse. At a lot of times, you can go without even having to see your doctor. So call your PCP or call your OBGYN. Say I'd like to go see a pelvic floor physical therapist. And honestly, sometimes you don't even need referrals, it just depends on your state and your insurance. And if you're even using insurance, and sometimes you only need one or two visits with a good pelvic floor physical therapist, but they are going to be able to give you some good information, and they have the time to listen to you. And they'll check it all out. And that can be a really good team member to then send you to the next place. (Lesley: Yeah.) So I think that's a good start. If you already have a diagnosis, and you're just kind of at a loss for answers, and you just want to talk through things. There's some great virtual options where you don't even have to leave your house. Like this week, I probably had saw four people and I think they were all women's health and a lot of it is just I was told I have this I don't know what to do. I live in hour from a doctor, I was told I can't exercise is that true? And we just talk for an hour and give them a plan. And then sometimes I don't even have to see them again. So just having someone yet (Lesley: Yeah.) you can talk your story, someone's listening and can give you a few really concrete action items that can help to.

Lesley Logan  

Well, and first I've never met like a pelvic floor therapist who doesn't like freaking love what they do. Like (Jessica: Yeah.) they love me ... that's that's a very specialized thing and they go into that. And and that you're right. They they do listen. Also because when you go to that person for those one of those reasons, or just wondering if it's one of those reasons, they've seen so many people that they get to like, look back and go, "Oh yeah, I've actually had a patient with similar things." And here's like, you just like it's not when you go to a PCP your Primary Care Physician. They see a lot of people that a lot of things. (Jessica: Yeah.) So when you go to someone who's a little bit more specialized in the thing, it's a little bit easier to get to your answer or some some some sort of path to a solution (Jessica: Yeah.) that works for you. Yeah, I love that suggestion. Oh, my gosh, Jessica, you are a wealth of knowledge on this topic. And we could keep going because there's so many different parts of women's health that we could talk about, but I really am grateful that you let me open up this conversation for our listeners, because they're all women mostly. I mean, there might be a few good men in there and thank you, but they probably have women in their life. So hopefully you send this to them. And I think the more we can talk about it and normalize, talking about our health, I just see the world being in a much better place for our daughters and kids don't like all my friends daughters, like I like envy the world that they'll live in (Jessica: Yeah.) with all that information. We're gonna take a brief pause and then find out where people can find out, how they can follow you, get to know you more. So one quick second.

Okay, Jessica, where do you like to hang out on the gram? Where can people go for more information to work with you?

Jessica Valant  

I'm Jessica Valant Pilates everywhere. Instagram, my websites, Jessica Valant Pilates, and then YouTube and I have a ton of resources actually about all of this prolapse, hysterectomy, endometriosis. You can find it on my website, a lot of free resources there. Or you can honestly just go to YouTube to my YouTube channel. If you search anything, I'll have a lot of videos there where I talk about all my experiences, and hysterectomy surgeries and prolapse surgeries, and all of that stuff.

Lesley Logan  

Thank you. (Jessica: Yeah.) And bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action steps people can take to be till they see it. What do you think?

Jessica Valant  

I think and it's a great question, especially as related to women's health. I think I've been thinking a lot about the middle meaning like we try always to strive to be the best, whether it's releasing a video, because that's our job, or whether it's to feel our best, I'm gonna feel 100% whatever it is, and we sometimes don't do anything until we think we're gonna get right to that 100%. Like, we don't release something unless we think it's perfect. We don't, you know, do a workout until we feel 100% better. And that's just not life, most of the time, like most of the time, we're living somewhere in the middle, we're not the worst, but we're not usually 100% the best. So how can you live your best life in that middle space. And that's where we all are. And so if it is as related to women's health, just know that you are important, what you have to say is important, what you feel is important, and you should feel 100%. Like you should be able to get to that place, it just takes day to day action. And it takes a plan and it takes you to believe in yourself and be an advocate to get there. But you can but most of the time is spent in that middle. So take the time to know that this is your journey. And it's okay to have this journey. And there's a lot of good that can come out of it. And then one day at a time, the process will get you where you want to go.

Lesley Logan  

So I love that you bring up the middle because everything is like the middle, there's actually a piece of art that Brené Brown talked about on a podcast, I heard her on at least a decade ago at this point. And she said there's a piece of art, and it's like has like a start. And then it says the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, the middle, and it just keeps going until the very bottom is the end. And so like really, we're all trying to get to 100% but like that's, that's actually like, yes, that's great. And there are gonna be days when you feel that way and I woke up this morning going, "Today's gonna amazing. Why don't I wake up every morning like this." (Jessica: Yeah.) But also like, how do you find a middle where you can like live in that and thrive in that and enjoy that so that you're not constantly looking for the finish line. Yeah.

Jessica Valant  

Exactly. Like endometriosis. It's not, I can't heal it. I can't fix it. But my golly I can have an amazing fulfilling strong life right in the middle of it. And that's what I'm going to do.

Lesley Logan  

Thank you for being you. Thank you for being here. (Jessica: Thank you.) I love you so much. Everyone, how are you going to use these tips? How are you going to use what she talked about? What are your takeaways? We want to hear about them. Please tag @jessicavalantpilates and the @be_it_pod and do us a massive favor, do all the women in your life a massive favor. Share this. You know what? You're uncomfortable having this conversation right from where you are in your life, that is fine. That is completely normal. But even just sharing it so that you know your friends listening to it and then maybe it's a little easier to talk about it that is going to change lives around you and for generations to come. So let us know how are you going to use this and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!  

 'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.  

 It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli. 

 Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing. 

 Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can.

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

We have all heard it, “sending positive vibes”. But how do “vibes” really play into our day-to-day life? Brad and Lesley recap Dr. Vic’s interview and dive into the impact and signs of high vs low vibrations, the importance of finding your anchor, and letting the right energy direct your path.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Winter road trips and upcoming events 
• What a high vibration state means 
• The signs of high or low vibrations
• The benefits of operating in a high vibration 
• How to use a pause as a reset
• Why you need to be enlightened and aware to use it as a compass for directing energy
• Creating your vision so you have a compass
• Use your vibrations to find what is for you

Episode References/Links:

• Agency Mini profitablepilates.com/mini

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

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Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co hosts in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the abundant Convo I had with Dr. Vic in our last episode. If you haven't yet listen to that interview with feel back, feel free. Feel free to pause this now and go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. It was there's so much information, there's so much positivity. (Brad: Yeah.) He was like, he was like taking like a dose like a like a, do you know what I mean? Like a zap off ... like of zap off of positivity and ability. And I just really enjoyed that.

Brad Crowell  

Think he was giving it. (Lesley: Yeah.) Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

So anyways, if you're listening to this in real time, we're in Nashville. (BradL In Nashville.) Yeah, we're hanging out with episode, I can't think of the number but I think it was in the 40s, Lauren Zoeller. Lauren Zoeller. (Brad: Zoeller) Yeah. Lauren Zoeller. We're hanging out her house. And we're hanging out a bunch of, actually, I think are gonna I think we're in meetings with a bunch of people who've been on the pod.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. Also Amber Shaw.

Lesley Logan  

I know. I know. I hope she's there.

Brad Crowell  

Maybe Tori. (Lesley: I think so.) We're going to a coaching weekend. (Lesley: Yeah.) We're actually going to bump into a bunch of people ...

Lesley Logan  

Bunch of are friends. (Brad: Yeah.) That's how we hang out. We're like, (Brad: We're friends.) we're like ...

Brad Crowell  

slash let's all learn together.

Lesley Logan  

Let's all learn together. It's a write off, we get to hang out and write it off. (Lesley laughs) Oh my gosh, it's so fun. So anyways, we come home. And we literally kick off our seventh Agency Mini, which is our seven day coaching program, which you've been listening to this show. You've heard us talk about it. And you have the final moments if we have spots left to sign up right now. And if there are no spots left to get on the waitlist for the next one. If you're like, I'll just wait for the next one, then you shouldn't you shouldn't try to get into this one because ...

Brad Crowell  

You should totally try to get into this one. This one's going to be amazing. We are going to have a couple of guest coach appearances.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, we are we are.

Brad Crowell  

... You'll have to be there.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I know some of them are going to be total surprises for even our Agency members. (Brad: Yeah.) Which is really exciting who we have some of our Agency members on Profitable, hanging out instead of Mini to support everybody. But we only offer this twice a year. So if you wait to the next time, you're literally holding your business back for months of generating income and getting support and maybe not wasting time on things that won't work and actually like dial in things that well. So that's happening. And then we go to Chicago (Brad: Yeah.) for Pilates on tour. (Brad: That's gonna be fun.) And Erika Quest and I are teaching a workshop together. And then you have a table with our flashcards and our book.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, come hang with Brad at the table.

Lesley Logan  

And then we come home on our seventh year wedding anniversary on the day. And then we have 48 hours to get ready for a bunch of people to be at our house (Brad: Yeah.) for our business retreat. (Brad: Yeah.) So woah! I'm so excited for water, sleep, my higher dose mad, my red light therapy and our incredible team who helps us get all of this done so that we can support all these people because we frickin love doing it.

Brad Crowell  

Absolutely, I can't I really can't wait to see everyone not only hanging out in Nashville, but actually getting to meet a bunch of people in the Pilates world in Chicago. And then of course, diving diving deep into your businesses for those of you who are joining us here in Las Vegas for the business retreat. (Lesley: Yeah.) So I can't wait.

Lesley Logan  

I was like dipping. What are we dipping?

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. We are dipping. If you want ... more information about Agency Mini, just go to profitablepilates.com/mini

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, and Pilates on tour is on the Balanced Body site. And you you can't miss it. Like it's gonna be amazing. It's the first in person event they've had since the last time I was with them, which was in October 2018. So wow! (Brad: Yeah.) Holy frickin moly. (Brad: in a minute) Here we go in a minute. I'm gonna need a question from the audience, Brad.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. So we got a question from someone asking, "Are you planning to drive around the country again this winter?" And the answer is, yes.

Lesley Logan  

Yes. We're still, at this moment of recording, we are still working on it. But we did see it, we did get to talk to Joel.

Brad Crowell  

We did. I think that this kind of goes hand in glove with our tours that we have been doing the last handful of years. You know, skipping COVID year of course, but I think this this year, we have a different timeline. We have to be back in Vegas for January one for a wedding.

Lesley Logan  

For actually December 31. (Brad: Oh, December 31 for a wedding.) Yeah, I know. So we are working on planning out the route. And we're kind of thinking we'll leave a little earlier and do the tour before the holiday.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. It'll probably all happen first. And then we'll hang (Lesley: We haven't ...) with family before turning around and come to Vegas.

Lesley Logan  

We have not ... Yeah. We have not picked all the cities yet. We're still working that out. And so you can throw your city in. (Brad: Yeah.) You absolutely can throw your city and I will say ...

Brad Crowell  

It's gonna be a different route this year than normal because we don't have the luxury. I was really hoping to get up into the Northeast. Get up into Canada even but I'm not sure we're gonna pull it off this year.

Lesley Logan  

He always has hopes it will dry and (Brad: ... really we're going Canada.) no winter time. I know. But I don't want to go, why would we drive into Toronto in the winter? (Brad: Because we're going to be on that side of the world.) To my Torontonians I fucking love you. I just don't like, tell Brad if like summer driving into Toronto is a better idea. (Brad: I know it is. I've been there.) Yeah. (Brad: Yes.) I have not. But anyways, so we you can throw your city out there. Typically, we have host studios. They're usually affiliates of OPC. And they basically help us promote it in the area. We pop in, we do a workout, we have a little hang. And then Brad and I give the dogs walk and get back on the road. But we're super excited to get that planned. And so yeah, we the answer is yes. I know the answer before is like I don't know. But the answer is now, yes. And I'm excited to, I'm excited to do like just it's like a one legged tour. It's like a tour on one end. (Brad: We're gonna hop.) Yeah, we're gonna hop hop hop. But yeah, it's, but we're very excited to be able to attend a wedding. So we're trying to make that work, which just means traveling back from Philly to Las Vegas in literally four days.

Brad Crowell  

We've done it and we've done it faster.

Lesley Logan  

We've done it faster. So I think it's possible. (Brad: It's possible.) Yeah, it's possible. Okay. So yeah, you can just hit up opc.me/chat if you want to throw your city and there and then our team will figure out like if whether if you're on a route that allows us to get from, I wouldn't say a to b but it's literally LV to PA and, and back. So and you would be surprised what's on the route because Atlanta is on that route. We are working out (Brad: Oh, yeah.) Atlanta. We talked to Joel as I mentioned from Vitality Method. So we'll see you there.

Brad Crowell  

Looking forward to that. Okay, now let's talk about Dr. Victor Manzo, transitioning from a practicing Pediatric Chiropractor meaning kids. Right? I didn't know. (Lesley and Brad laughs)

Lesley Logan  

The way you said that was like as if the word Pediatric is is new.

Brad Crowell  

It is like I didn't know Chiropractors worked on kids.

Lesley Logan  

Brian, our Chiropractor (Brad: I know Brian does) works on kids. He has pictures of kids.

Brad Crowell  

Before I met Brian, I didn't know that was a thing. So yes, I didn't realize that Chiropractors could do that. Anyway, moving right along. A practicing Pediatric Chiropractor too, a spiritual business mindset coach. Dr. Vic is on a mission to influence and help people become aware of their limiting beliefs, their habits, standards, and the stories they tell themselves. Then he shares his insights to help them reframe and change their beliefs to support life they love. Dr. Vic is also the creator and owner of The Mindful Experiment Podcast and the author of three books that are seeking to assist people in their everyday spiritual lives.

Lesley Logan  

And also, just so you know, Manzo is like the American way and Manzo is the Italian way. So if you if you can say either, apparently, but if you wanted a little education in languages. (Brad: Good to know.) Yeah. (Brad: Dr. Victor Manzo.) Yeah.

Brad Crowell  

But you have to say it with a British accent.

Lesley Logan  

I know. I'm saying, I don't think that's how it sounds either. But we're just gonna keep going. I'm just gonna let that roll. 

Okay, one thing I love that he said was our job is to stay at a high vibration. And I think we can all agree that that is a very positive and helpful thing. And I think the next question is like, "Okay, but how do we do this?" Because you can no longer go, "Yes, I need to stay in high vibration" and then boom, you're in a low vibration state and it's like, "Oh, I'm trying to stay in a high vibration."

Brad Crowell  

I don't even know what a high vibration state means.

Lesley Logan  

Okay. Well, that's, that's an even better question. So I would say you are in a high vibration. There's a flow state, you know, when like, things come easy to you when you're at work, and you just like, just get a ton of stuff done. You said this before, like, "I got a ton of stuff done."

Brad Crowell  

Oh, yeah. (Lesley: Yeah.) I always looked forward to that. Like I really, and it was like, for me, it was like, "Don't ever talk to me, don't bother me. I mean, I'm in the zone."

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. But it's, you often don't know that you don't want anyone talk to you because you're until you're in the zone, you (Brad: Yeah.) don't go, "Don't talk to me, I'm in the zone." (Brad laughs) That would not be a high vibration. You are, you like start to get in this flow state and you start to and everything comes a little easier for you. And so when you're in that, that's like you're trying to tap into that. And that state and that's not easy. And you cannot be there if you're like, "Oh, fuck this, this thing is not working." Ah that you like, though, when you get when you're really snappy at little things, you are in a low vibration. So just just a quick thing if you are like if somebody bumps into on the street, or someone cuts you off while you're driving, there's your sign. You're not a high vibration. But if you are like driving, and someone ...

Brad Crowell  

Well, it depends on how you react to them cutting you off. You don't have any control over them cutting him off, but how you react to them. (Lesley: Correct.) Yeah.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. So anyways, you don't have a buffer on your cars like this a high vibration car, park up. (Lesley laughs) Anyways, so the idea is like, we have to our job is to try to stay at the high vibration. Now that requires work. But that's what job is, that's what a job is. It's also an exercise. And you're going to have times where it's easier to stay the high vibration and times when it's harder. And you you maybe can't stay in there as long because you tap out sooner. But you know what it's up, the more you can, he said anchoring will help you find a high vibration moment in your life. So anchoring is he's, a lot of times people use this, like anchor into something. So you can think back to a time this what do you exit, think back to a time when you it was easy for you to do that. Like we just was like, oh, you know, when you say you're at work, and you do it like this. So you you think about what that is? And then you can also think about what happened before that, that allowed that flow state to happen or how did you set that up, so becomes really easy for you. So if there was a time when you like, were really confident or really positive in your life, it was a really happy moment, you can go and go into meditation, you can think about that moment. And then you can go, you can actually feel it in your body. Like if I asked you to feel about a time right now, everybody think back to the time when you were like, feeling the most positive, like, on top of the world. Like you just felt like, "Oh my God, this is the most amazing, I never want to stop." Sometimes for me, it's on the top of a hike in Hawaii, like when you're there and like you're like, "Wow, I just feel so like, literally in inside myself in the most positive and like, I never want this to end. What did that feel like? What does it sound like? Like, what does it taste like?"

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, a lot of times it's an achievement or a win that you've, you know, just add in your life and whether that was a something that you've been, you know, chasing for a very long time or something that just happened, you know, for you remember how you felt in that moment. You know, there's a he describes it later on in the pod as like the moment of bliss or joy, you know exuberance, happiness. And you know, that I think that he, he kept saying something throughout it that was a little bit woo for me, he's like, you gotta like, you know, be in the vibe. And it's funny because I use the word vibe, but like I am, what was really surprising to me is that he's a doctor who went into being a spiritual guide, which is kind of the opposite of what I expect most people to do, because they're trying to prove something right and so they go and they really get into like science and medicine and like proof, and tangible, and logic and like he is all the foundation of that doctoral, you know, logic and then he's actually applying it into the spiritual, the the attaining a spiritual life (Lesley: Yeah.) and, and when he's talking about this vibe, he said he said that the he said basically when you're operating when you are attaining achieving in a higher vibe, you are going to have a better life. (Lesley: Yeah.) And you're going to achieve more things. Life is going to work for you more often, (Lesley: People want to be around you.) people want to be around you. Yeah, he talks about that, like being in a room around someone who is operating at a higher vibe, you want to just be in their presence. And you know, and then, and then when you two were talking about like, well, how do you, how do you identify the higher vibe? That's what he's talking about anchoring. Remembering a moment where you've had a crazy celebration in your life or something really amazing. And he talks about his daughter, or if it is not his his child just being born six weeks ago or whatever. And in that moment of joy that he felt, then is something that that's an anchor, that's something he can be like, "Okay, cool."

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Yeah, I think like, so find your anchor. And then, and then if you are ever out, if you're ever feeling like, "Wow, I'm just like losing it every few minutes, right now, today is not a great day." Take five seconds to like, go back to that moment, like maybe have to write on a post it notes. So you just it's easily I know, I can't think of good things when it's a bad thing. So I like have it somewhere where you can easily access it. (Brad: Yeah.) And and then go try to anchor into that and see if you can tap into that high vibration. I know for me, I'll turn on my red light therapy, and I'll sit and play this one little mantra meditation takes like five minutes. And it's like, all these positive mantras. And I'm like, "I feel so good when it's over." So you know (Brad: Well ...) your thoughts, the tools out there.

Brad Crowell  

I liked that you said that, because he was talking about forcing it, you know, and taking a pause, and allowing that to be effectively like a reset button, you know, and he was, there was actually a lot of conversation about forcing it. And I know, I know that I do that. Or I'm like, "I have to get this done. I only have another hour to get this done." And I'm like ehhh. Right. And and like to be honest, it's generally not my best work.

Lesley Logan  

Or it takes longer if you just take in 15 minutes to like, go rest, go reset, you (Brad: Yeah.) might come back and get it done faster. And you won't, it'll be better work.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah. (Lesley: Yeah.) And that, you know, it can be as simple meditation as it were, where you are effectively stepping back from something that might be frustrating you and and reflecting back to what your your anchor is, where you can, "Okay, how do I reframe where I'm at right now? How do I get back into joy?" Right. Before I then go get back into this project that I have to get done. (Lesley: Yeah.) So yeah, that's really interesting. And what I really loved about that is a) I felt there was a very practical approach, but also to, he said, "Hey, look, you know, give yourself a break here." This is something that's a habit you have to create, you know, you can conceptualize it right now. But in the moment, you may forget. And so you know, it's okay. This something you need to practice.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you can't get in like, I think it's so weird that we want to get everything right the first time. I say this with Agency members, like we teach them something, and then they get frustrated, like, "I can't do it." It's like, "We'll you just learned it, like five seconds ago." Once you don't, like you don't like you can get it conceptually, but then you got to do it. And you're like, "Ah, it's a great." Because you just learned it. You just learned you have to do it again. And then you have to learn it from a different angle. And then you have to like put into your own words. So you can't you have to just be, you have to just be kind to yourself. And (Brad: Yeah.) like when you are being hard on yourself about how you're not good enough. The first time you do something you are that's just here's your sign. Not a high vibration. I feel like Jeff Foxworthy, "Here's your sign, you are in low vibration."

Brad Crowell  

All right, so finally, let's talk about those BE IT action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Dr. Vic, Victor Manzo? (Lesley: Yeah.) He had, he kind of he repeated himself a handful of times throughout the thing, the whole interview so I thought that was great because it made it he's got like a very clear path on how to stay in that high vibration. And so right out of the gate, he said, "You need to have or create your vision." Okay, and that vision for, the vision is for your life. You know, do you see yourself staying where you are doing the thing you're doing? Is that something you love and you're already doing that thing? Or are you not where you want to be? Where do you want to be? And he suggested to make that like an anchor or sorry to play that like a movie in your head and associate it with those vibes from the anchor that we already talked about earlier. Right? So you know, if you are like, I'm going to get that promotion at work, you know, and so "see" yourself getting the promotion at work. I mean, you hear this actually, from football players all the time, like, see yourself scoring the goal, see yourself catching the ball, see yourself getting past the opponent, whatever, you know. And then he talked about relating that vision that you're creating with the emotions, the joy from that moment that you're anchored.

Lesley Logan  

You know, they've actually done studies where they had people think about working out like literally put their mindset into like, actually, like lifting weights in their mind. And then they had people workout, but not think about it. And then they had people do both. And the people who worked out and people thought about working out had the same strength scores.

Brad Crowell  

I did not know that.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, like, yeah, it's because our mind is so powerful. (Brad: Amazing.) And like when I was talking with Jay, Jay Grimes, he's my Pilates mentor. He, I told him this, and he's like, "Oh, yeah." He's like, "I used to get so tired after teaching two hours, because my body was like, doing the workout with them." Like, the muscle, like, he's like, "I wasn't rounding forward, I was just standing there. But like, my muscles, were doing the things." And I because you're like, (Brad: So, I mean ...) feeling it, you know. And so even ...

Brad Crowell  

No wonder teaching can be very draining.

Lesley Logan  

It can be and then people bring their own weird emotions too. And then client's bring theirs.

Brad Crowell  

They are bringing those low vibrations.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. (Brad: Yeah.) But he, but he talks about, like, you know, even he says, now he's like, "Mate, I want to, I want to, like, I want to feel, I want to feel your mood while exercising. Like, I, he can't do it now. So I want to feel for you, you know, so you gotta do that way." (Brad: Sure.) So I think you have it, I love what his point was. And I think like, it's not, I don't think we give ourselves enough time to sit still. And like picture the thing that we want. And like, create that, like, see the vision. (Brad: Yeah.) And even if you're not a visual person, then write it frickin down.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, he did talk about that. He said, a lot of people, maybe they can't, like, create, like a movie in their head, but they can write it down and then and they create the story that way. (Lesley: Yeah.) Yeah, totally.

Lesley Logan  

So, I really loved um, become aware and use it for that as a compass for the work that you want to achieve. So like he was talking about vibe and paid attention and the excitement gave a whole demonstration about like, rub your hands. Do you ever remember? I remember being a kid in a school bus and like, we would like put our hands like, do you ever do this? Where you like put your hand like close to their hands? You could do with me. Do with me. Give me your hand. (Brad: Okay.) And like you would you would like get close with your hand and (Brad: Oh, yeah.) they got further away. (Brad: I feel the heat.) And you can, yeah, you feel that, you can feel energy. (Brad: Yeah.) Yeah. So we've ...

Brad Crowell  

He actually talked about taking your hands and rubbing them together. (Lesley: Yeah.) And then holding them slightly apart and you can feel you know that energy between them.

Lesley Logan  

I'm vibing so high. I didn't even need to do that. You felt it anyway. (Brad and Lesley laugh) But anyways, like he gave like a very kinesthetic exercise you could do to feel that vibe. And you can also just the I think it's really interesting like awareness is so key. And we even talked with like Lena Franklin, she's like, once you're aware you're enlightened. But when you can actually have that feeling of like when you become aware what you're wanting and the vibe you want to have. It is so much easier to use that as a compass and know how far off you are. I'm turning because I'm like, and then like how, like a compass. Right. You can come back to it.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, yeah. Sorry, I think I feel like we're missing a step to connect those dots here. So the first what he's talking about is we operate better when we are in a high vibration. Right. But we're not always in a high vibration. (Lesley: No.) Right. And so ...

Lesley Logan  

You can change, you can be in high vibration in the morning and low by an hour later. Like you can it's like you're a human.

Brad Crowell  

So the, so we operate better at a high vibration, and we're not always operating in a high vibration. Right. So then we have, how do you know what a high vibration is? That's where the anchoring is. Right? And then we have going out and doing life. And in you then once you understand, once you begin to associate high vibration, and identity be able to identify that internally throughout your day, which is where the practice part comes in. Then when you're trying something new. You can start to feel, "Am I in the right place? You know for this"? And you can start to identify like, "this thing might not be for me." You know and this other thing, "Oh yeah, this is totally for me." Because you're starting to to associate like you start to identify, "Oh, yeah, this, this makes me feel good."

That's why I feel like it's a compass. Right? Because when you identify, "This is my this is my anchor. This is my high vibration." Right. And you're doing something that is like 100% not making you connect with that vibration, you can start to say, "Well, maybe maybe I don't want to go be, this isn't my thing."

Lesley Logan  

I also just want to like, counterpoint, which I know I talked about, we love what you said. But I think with that description, it's very easy for someone to try something new feel like their compass is off. And it's actually the people that they did the new thing with, and it's not the new thing. For example, I really loved that lyric class that I did. I thought the teacher was great. I had the best time, it was amazing. I went back, and my compass was like, "This is off. This is not fun." I left feeling worse than when I came. And then I didn't go back. And actually, the reality was, is just the people that I was with for that moment, made the compass off (Brad: Interesting.) not the thing. So I really think that people there's like ...

Brad Crowell  

So it's almost like something that we can bring. It's something we bring to a situation. And it's also something that we can be paying attention to.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I mean, let's just think about like, you and I used to go on hikes. We love hikes. (Brad: Yeah.) And there's a few hikes in there that I remember going, "Fuck this shit. When was this fucking hike over?" Because the people brought it the low vibration. The people took the compass the wrong way. And so I think it's like, we have to be really mindful of like, is it the activity or is or the location or is it the person? Because there are some things I frickin love doing that I would never do it some people. And so I think we can be a little quick to go, "My compass is off. This isn't for me," when actually, it that's the thing. It's just the wrong. Like, can you imagine if your first date experience blew up and was the worst thing ever? Like, I'm never dating again? No, it was the wrong date. Right? Like, or your first job was like, the most awful experience? Like I'm never working again.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah but I think that's exactly right. When you know that something is your high vibration. Right? For like, for example, that moment of joy, whatever that is. And then you go on a date, and you're like, "This did not bring me joy. This is nowhere where the close to where I want to feel (Lesley: Right.) to be." Then you know, then you can say, "All right, cool." You know?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, but that's my point. You know, it's that person, not the dating, not the activity. You went on another date with somebody else. (Brad: Yeah.) Yeah. I think we're saying the same thing. I'm just making sure people ... (Brad: It's not always about people tho.) No, it can also be the nice amazing people on the worst activity. I think that's, I think we need to compasses. (Brad: Yeah.) Are there like compasses with like a node? A weather pattern. I don't know. Like, I feel like there's like a dewpoint that goes along. I don't know, there's just has to be another layer. Because I really, I'm a little wor... I'm a little concerned that some people will go, "Oh, my compass is off. I didn't like this thing," when maybe it's not the thing. It's like, the place where the thing was. The person where the thing was. I'm not trying to tell people to convince themselves to do something different. But I'm just a little worried that people might give up on the first try of some things based on this one particular example.

Brad Crowell  

Here's what I think we're gonna do. I think this is a really interesting conversation. I, we're gonna send this to Dr. Victor Manzo. And we're gonna get his input. (Lesley laughs) But in the meantime, (Lesley: Because I really love it.) in the meantime, we want your input. (Lesley: Yeah.) Where do you stand here? Is this something that you're applying or something that you're putting yourself in a situation and then feeling? Right? Or are you applying it to a situation because you're reframing your mind?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I just, I just want to I just want to make sure that we're not giving pe... like giving people, I totally agree with what he said, when I was on the podcast. What I'm a little concerned with, with just the way we're talking about it, is that we're making it so that it's, it might be too easy to write off something that just might there might be the wrong ingredient. It's like a food. It's like, if you like I like there's Latkes right, and there's all these different types of flavors. And there's a couple that I would never ever eat and there was a few that you put some apple sauce on it and fuck yeah, I want that. So I'm just I'm just trying to say like, I'm a little concerned that people might write something off that's right for them, but it was in the wrong place, people or thing.

Brad Crowell  

Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna we're gonna talk to doc. (Lesley laughs) And we're gonna leave us a voicemail. (Lesley: Yeah.) And put it into one of the recaps coming up.

Lesley Logan  

Yes. Okay, (Brad: Yeah.) sounds good. (Brad: I love it.) Okay, I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell  

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan  

Thank you so much for joining us today. We're so grateful you're here. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Let us know by sending us a DM to the pod. And or you can you can put a comment on the YouTube. (Brad: Yeah.) Um, we don't have a phone number for you to call in and leave a voicemail but you can leave a voice message on on the Instagram. So, I sound like an eighty year old, you can do on the Facebook. (Brad: You can do on the w w's) (Lesley laughs) You can do on the emails. (Brad laughs) Anyways, thank you so much and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell  

Bye for now.

Lesley Logan  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!  

 'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.  

Brad Crowell  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.  

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing. 

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.  

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can.

Brad Crowell  

 And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Does the term manifestation scare you? Are you a skeptic of the universe planning things for you or the fact that things happen for a reason? Dr. Victor Manzo is on the pod today to talk about how you can chase and achieve your ideal vibrations. It’s not all woo-woo, he has the science to back it up and a guide with proven results. Listen in for ways that you can Be It Until You See It!

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• The transition from pediatrics to spiritual coaching and making life changes that are more aligned with your life.
• How to define the experience that you are on earth to have.
• Focus on the vibe that brings in happiness and joy. The spiritual vibration to chase
• The power that is held in the power of ‘why’
• Feelings are the root of truth. Period.  
• The spiritual roadmap to ‘being it till you see it’. 
• Why “go live your life and chase your dreams” is the worst advice
• How to approach getting more spiritual and getting in touch with your feelings. 

BIO: 

Dr. Vic is a former Certified Pediatric Chiropractor who has become a business mindset coach.

He is the author of 3 books, which is most recent, "Decoding The Matrix," which is coming out May 31st, 2022.  

Dr. Vic is the creator and owner of The Mindful Experiment Podcast which has been ranked in the top 1% of podcasts globally from ListenNotes.com.

He has a unique and diverse background that allows him to help his clients become more whole and lead a more fulfilled life through leveraging one's own minds and reframing one's mindsets.

Dr. Vic does this through helping his clients become aware of their limiting beliefs, habits, standards and the stories they tell themselves. Once they are aware, then he shares how they can reframe, change and create beliefs that support their dream life. 

Episode References/Links:

• Victors website
• Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
• Follow Dr Vic on IG
• TELL US YOUR THOUGHTS

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

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Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan  

All right, Be It listener. How are you doing? How are you really? I'm really excited about this interview actually, when I was reading about Victor and what he's doing, I was like, "Oh, this could be really great." And what I love so much about this episode is it was full of things that I was not even expecting us to talk about. And I hope that you take a listen, maybe you listened to it a couple times. Victor and I have the power of speed talking I think. So, so take a listen. But for those of you who are really struggling with getting out of your head and getting into your body this episode is for you. If you are struggling with how do you act as the person that you want to be until you're the thing, until you're that thing already this is for you. There's some really great tips and I know the word spiritual can get a little woowoo for some people but what I hope you understand is that there is science behind a lot of what Victor is talking about and you can listen to Dr. Philippe Douyon's episode for that information. You can listen to Sue Hitzman's episode as well. And you'll you'll just see that the body knows a lot, a body knows a lot. And the energy we put out into this world really does matter. And if you are needing evidence and proof of why that's so important, this episode is here for you. So without further ado, but actually tiny a do, a little ad and then Victor Manzo.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

All right, Be It babe. I've got Victor Manzo here. And I'm really excited because I read his story. And I was like, "Oh, I totally resonate with this." I really resonate with how his childhood was where there's not as much financial abundance around. And then I also understood, I also loved and understood, having a job and then sort of like, wanting to transition because you start to go down a path and you realize it's maybe not your own. And so Victor has an incredible story to share with us all. Will you please tell us who you are and what you're rockin at right now?

Dr. Victor Manzo  

Yeah, so I used to be a former practicing Pediatric Chiropractor who now that I've transitioned over to a Spiritual Business Mindset Coach. I put the spiritual side in, because I do teach a lot of spiritual elements in what I do in business people, when you when I had the title, Business Mindset Coach. They're thinking, "Oh, cool business principles is gonna help me grow money." And I was like, "Yes, I do that. But there's these things we got to focus on that will get to that point." And there'll be like, "That's not the standard business coach, I'm used to." So I was like, "You know, I gotta change this up a little bit." And so I've kind of went down, been been doing that for the last three years. And it's been something that's been rewarding, fulfilling, and I'm forgetting the question there was there was a part to it (Lesley laughs) will you rephrase it again?

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, no. Just like what you're doing right now. So (Dr. Victor: Yeah. Okay.) now you're, so you answer that. And you were a Chiropractor, a Pediatric Chiropractor that has to be a more complicated chiropractic work, I would imagine. Children are probably not as easy to adjust. I don't know, maybe they're easier.

Dr. Victor Manzo  

As weird as it is, that they're the easiest to adjust. You know what, you figure, if they move around a lot. That's one thing, but like infants, they'll just lay there. And that can get in there so easy to move. And do what I need to do that like is when I'm like, I have a mom, let's say it's a first first born that they have is their first born. So the moms a little more nervous about it. And I'll show them how the adjustment goes. And they just look at me, and I'll be like, "Let's go ahead and do the work. And I'll make the adjustment." And I'm like, "Okay, we're done. 30 seconds later, 40 seconds later." And they're going, "That's it? But that's at all, like you're not..." "No, that's good. I'm gonna do some extra work. But I just wanna let you know, the main part of this adjustments done." And they're just like, "That looked like you didn't do anything." I'm like, "I know, because they don't need much work. It's just little stuff here and there that we're doing to shift to change their neurology."

Lesley Logan  

That's so interesting. So the the, like the the takeaway I'm getting from that is like adults, with their like, preconceptions, fears, whatever their mindset is, is keeping them from being an easier adjustment ... I'll be a little bit more like babies.

Dr. Victor Manzo  

Yeah, I mean, that's one thing you have the other thing we're like, we're also as I always, there's a phrase in chiropractic, it does come off a little harsh, but it's like, read it, was it, I rather work with, you know, or I'm forgetting it now. But it's basically we're managing things as adults, whether it's children, we're actually addressing and clearing things. So when we become adults, we can't turn things around. But what we can do is, is manage what where you are, and then try to make the best of where you are at that moment.

Lesley Logan  

That's so interesting. And it makes makes a lot of sense because the way the way children taking the world versus the way we like we think we already know it already. So we have all these preconceived notions to like, what is happening and like, why it's happening, and we're not exactly like taking in the information. That's happening. So cool. So okay, you, I love my chiropractor, he works a lot. So imagine I, uh, you know, you probably weren't working at a time, how, how did you transition into Spiritual Business Mindset Coach? And then can we talk about more about what the spiritual part of that is? Because I love that you address like, when you didn't have that people are like, "Okay, give me strategies." And as a business coach, sometimes it's like, all the strategy in the world is there. But if their mindset isn't, and it's like, it doesn't even matter, I'm talking to like, it's just gonna be overwhelming. So what was your transition like? And then what's the spiritual part that you add in?

Dr. Victor Manzo  

Yeah, the transition was I got to a point in my career, I have one of the largest pediatric volume pediatric ... patient volume for pediatrics in Illinois. And it was one of those things where I was starting to get to a point where I was looking at my my impact that I was doing for the world, not just my community, but for the world. It was small, it wasn't to the level I want. And it's not an ego thing. I try to clarify that very quickly. It's like it wasn't that I want to be this I don't care about number one. I don't care about an award. I don't that that does not drive what I do. I have a just a big vision in life of influencing, helping as many possible people as I possibly humanly can. And I was like, you know, I was looking at some things in entrepreneurship, that the advice is just not great. And I, I mean listened to it and it got me to be successful in five years, but at the same token, I was burned out, exhausted, fatigued, and I love what I do, and yet I'm exhausted. Didn't make sense? And then it came a point where I started to address things and be like, you know what, there's spiritual truths that I've learned when I was there going through chiropractic school, it wasn't through the school, but I was doing energy medicine and learning different energy medicine techniques, and learning spirituality, I became a Reiki Master and trainer, there was all that background to where I was like, "You know what, if I'm really the creator of my life, I should be able to choose my path of success and be able to go down that path. I should be able to declare and define what it is and why I want it like this, and then be able to actualize that into my life." And that's what you know, then I sent out like, you know what, the only way I can can have a bigger reach is if I do coaching. And that's kind of what led me into it. And I started doing it just on the side. I was put through last few years. I was just here and there to help, you know, did some group coaching, did some then I shifted over to one on one for a little bit. And it felt great, because it was like, wow, my reach is getting much bigger. Now instead of just as volume I have here because I have my clients are chiropractors, I'm like, I'm serving all this plus this and this and like this is so fulfilling. So that was the transition. And eventually, I made a full transition this year, January, where my wife and I, we moved from Illinois to Tennessee. And then it was like that was our that was my point to make that transition to go full time in the coaching. But this ...

Lesley Logan  

Oh I love that you use like a geographic change, because instead of like, like, what a daring moment because you could have done the safe thing. Like you have so many testimonials you have of tried and true business practice that you could probably just set up and like start over again. But instead you're like, nope, cutting the ties and just going all in on this.

Dr. Victor Manzo  

Yeah, it was basically you know, it's one of those things where, you know, I'm very, you know, I love my practice. Like, I go back when I go back home and visit I always drive by just to look because it's not a chiropractic office anymore. And I'm always like, "Man, the memories there." But yeah, it was it was one of those things where we kind of ripped the band aid made a choice to move and start a whole new journey, a whole new life for so many different reasons. And we wish we did it sooner. You know, I still miss practicing. There's some that people sometimes I ask. I do, I do miss, I go to my chiropractor, and I'm just always like, I'll see kids in the office, I'm like, "I miss that." I miss just having fun with the kids. And you know, they're just such a but like, when I shifted the focus on pediatrics, it was a blast for me because I'm like, "This is great. I can be a big kid. I don't get looked at weird. Don't get don't get judged. And they just have more fun with me, the more I'm a kid." So I was like, "This is ... this is great. I just go to have fun. I go to the office to play all day." And that's that was my life. But yeah, but then, you know, it's looking at then the other side of it too. You know, the spiritual side is is critical. Everything I do has to be spiritual, and if that's my personal and business, and so it's taking spiritual truths and spiritual elements. And when we really think of the word spiritual, right, everyone has their own really definition. You can go Google with a definition maybe. But that's not your definition of what spirituality means. To me, it's every element of life, because you're a soul having a human being experience. And in that human being experience, everything you do benefits your soul. So at the end of the day, it's all spiritual. But how do we unleash that, that yearning of what it is you came here for an experience? I'm gonna get a little deeper in the spiritual side if I do, just let me know. But it's what we came here to gain some sort of an experience. And how do you create fulfillment? How do we create a soul filled life? And that's where we look, you look at things that are more beyond the physical, what are things you can take with you when you leave this world? Right. It doesn't matter how much moneys ...

Lesley Logan  

I love this ... So sorry, I'm interrupting you because I, my, my, like, what comes to mind? It's like you like what experience are we here to have? Like, what a great question to ask yourself. I think people get caught up on like, "What is my purpose?" And for and I'm just like, when we go I go to like people like, "I don't know, what my why is. I don't know what my purpose is." And I think like even going to the question like, "What is the experience I want to have here?" Can kind of help, like start that journey that because it's like, that allows you to really understand like, "Do I want to have a horrible experience where I'm like, mad at all my neighbors and mad at all these things?" You know what I mean? Like, it allows you to kind of like, choose your own adventure.

Dr. Victor Manzo  

No, totally. And then there's, there's, there's there is a little trap there though, right? Because here's the thing I wrote this in my third book, I talk a lot about the conditioning of the mind. And this happened to me because in five years, I hit financial hit my financial peak, I was following what all the chiropractors told me what successful chiropractor looks like, feels like, walks like all that. And I was like, "Okay, great. I'm doing it. I'm living in and being that." But and that's what I wanted. That's what I said I wanted, I couldn't I've done all the work I've done. I've worked with things like life book, where you write out and pictures of all your life visualization, vision boards, you name it. And but then it really hit like, wow, I thought I knew what I wanted. But I was just conditioned. Here's what I really want. Here's the life I really want to lead. Here's what really matters to me. And it was interesting to do that and I started doing business coaching. It was interesting to see that because when I asked an entrepreneur, "What do you want?" It's always funny because I'm listening when I'm listening to the, their energy I'm listening to or I'm listening to the tone of their voice or by if I if I can see them their body language, and then I'm just I'm feeling the energy. I'm very in tu... I'm very I'm an empath. I could feel things and I'll just be like, "That's not you. Like does that what you really want? Like that really excites you?" And they'd be like, "Well, yeah, you know what?" And they start to stutter or some that I'm like, "Yeah, now you're in your head." I was like, "What?" Let me, let you know, all of a sudden they start speaking, and I'm like, "That's what you really want, I could feel it." And I'm like, "Can you tell the difference?" And they're like, "Yeah, I can." And it's like, this is where the spiritual side comes in, well, somewhat spiritual, it's just being aware of your body. Because that's the thing where a lot of things I teach and share is all about getting out of your head. Because we're just too much in our head in today's world. (Lesley: Yeah.) Like, so much of the time.

Lesley Logan  

So, so how.... So, okay, couple things. Because I do understand that I have seen them before. It's like, "Oh, I want more clients. Why you want more clients?" Because, you know, and it's like, "Why do I want to do that?" So how, how are you getting people to go from like, is it like, they, there's a surface story that they like, are conditioned to want to have that we're all conditioned, like, "These are the things we want. We want to have a house. We want to have the things, whatever." And like, is there another action or journaling? Or is there another thing they can do to like, get to the real thing they really want? Like, how do you get from the surface level thing to the thing that they're afraid to actually share?

Dr. Victor Manzo  

You ever been around a four year old?

Lesley Logan  

Yes, they are amazing. They tell you everything.

Dr. Victor Manzo  

What, there's a word that they use all the time. If it's around four or five, they start doing it. And that word is 'why'. Right. If you ever ask hey, you know, I remember my niece is at the stage right now. "Hey, blah, blah, blah. Why uncle Victor? Oh because blah, blah, blah. Why uncle Victor? Do you, is that the only thing you know how to ask? But why I want to know why, why is that?" And I'm like, "I love that." This is when you and the reason why that works so wonderfully is because let's say I want to have a big house. Okay. Why is that important? Well, because it'd be nice because I want to have a big house when I have more room. Okay, but why is that important? Well, because you know, more room means I can have more things to do. Okay, but why is that important that? And you see, you keep asking 'why' you're gonna hit dead ends, you're gonna be starting like, "Oh, why do I want that?" You know, but like, there's a difference where it's like, "I want to have a big house." Well, Vic, why do you want to have a big house, because the bigger house I have, the bigger kitchen I can have, the more cooking I can do, the more family I can come over create more experiences in my family, so that we can enjoy more. And for my family, they can come and this can be like a vacation for them. And we can I can enjoy and create experiences with them. And that's the meaning why I want a big house not to show off or show any. I don't care about the size. I just care about having what it is to be able to fulfill that.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. And so what you're saying is not like, just because the first thing you say you end up stuttering at the why. That's okay. Just get to the root of it. Because it's okay to want the big house if the big house has a purpose for the life that you want to have versus like this is everyone has a big house. So I have to have a big house.

Dr. Victor Manzo  

Exactly or it can be it can even be your ego, like I just want to have a big house because of a status purpose. That's fine. I mean, it's not deep. But if that's what matters to you. It's like I was talking to someone I remember years ago, one of my, my sister in law's boyfriend was like I was meeting him for the first time and he was like, he pulls up to the office. They come in, he's like, "Hey, where's your where's your benz?" I'm like, "bendz." He's like, you know, BMW. I'm like, "I know what you're asking." I mean, that'd be a Mercedes. And I was like, "What do you mean?" He's like, "Yeah, you're a doctor. Usually you have one of those things." I was like, "No, I'm not into those things." He's like, "You don't like luxury cars." I said, "I have nothing against luxury cars." I'm just not that type of guy. I'm different. I go, but I'll go have, I'll go have a very expensive pickup truck. That's all souped up. Why? Because I like pickup trucks. I like things that are fast. It's just cool for me. It's fun to have a car, I don't speed or anything. But it's just cool every once in a while. I like to have the feeling to go onto the expressway and I can punch it and it can really take off. I'm like, that's just a joy thing. It's it but that's but that's other than that in my life. It's just that's cool. And a fun little toy, but it's you know, but that's again, what matters to me what's important to me. Other than that, I can care what the heck I drive.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Yeah, I think I love this quote. It's not about like, not wanting the souped up track or the benz. This is knowing the reason why behind it that so you can actually have that as your Northstar versus the actual, the actual physical thing.

Dr. Victor Manzo  

It's even great to ask people like when it comes to how much money you want to make when you work with a client, or I'm working with a client and it comes to what do you want to grow in the next year? And they'll say, "Oh, I want to I want to double." Okay, why? It's the simplest thing you can just, you can do that all day long. And they'll give you reasons. But if you keep asking the 'why' there comes a point where you're just like you'll even the person asking you, it's just like, "That sounds good man. Like that's deep, man. I feel energized from that." Like, that's what I'm looking for. I want to feel energized from them telling me why they want it. Because then I know that they're, they're really propelling their true energy. And just like anything, we gravitate to people who have really projected excuse me, really good energy, you got anyone that's a real good speaker, you've been around, and you could just be in their presence or you listen to them speak. You're just like, I just love being around this person or just someone in your life that just has good energy. You just you just gravitate to them and (Lesley: Yeah.) that there's a feeling that comes from that. And that's the feeling that I'm looking for to make sure I'm like okay, yeah, we're there. You're now projecting what you really are. We're connecting soul the soul. I can feel it. Now we're good.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, so okay, so to people who are listening, they're like, "Okay, I actually know I'm very clear on why I want things. And I got that spiritual side." What, when it comes to the spiritual side helping us with the things that we want to do that are a little bit more strategy in our business. Like, how, like, how have you seen that happen? What's what's the, what's the tipping point? Or like, what's the benefit? Is it, do you see people who don't have the spiritual side, like having as much success as people who do? What what are you seeing in your business?

Dr. Victor Manzo  

You know, for what, you know, for me, you have to have some sort of connection, you know, because spiritually, like, just think about spiritually, so like the law of focus, right, where you, wherever you put your mind, or attention to, energy flows to wherever energy flows to manifestation is gonna grow. And so, you know, these are the, from from, from spiritual truths or spiritual elements of wisdom, it's been shared for so long, you know, it's knowing that, okay, wherever I put my energy, my my source energy, or your soul energy, or whatever you want to label that as, right, you can call it focus, if you want for those who like to debt word, wherever you're giving that to, is going to give life to. And so it's looking at so when I share this with people, this is one of the stuff I start to work on, when it comes to like visualization and visions, right, you have to have a vision does everyone anyone that works for me always has to go through this work of creating your own vision. And I have a whole tier system into it, you know, your whole life, and then multiple areas of your life. And then from there, then we look at tapping into visualization, and how to utilize raising your vibe this is where I use law, vibration and law, attraction comes in and we get the law of manifestation eventually. But these are all principles I'll pull in to utilize to start to align with spiritual truth to create fulfillment for you. Coming back to that definition of spirituality again, to me, it's fulfillment. You know, and so that's where I'm looking at things at the end of the day. So when I when I think of fulfillment, then it's like, how are you being fulfilled in life? Right? How what are the things that are gonna give you that? What are the things you're gonna get from this, that you can take with you when you leave? You know ...

Lesley Logan  

So ... Yeah. Are you is that something, is that something you're like asking yourself regularly, like health and how how am I fulfilled today? How was I felt like, are you asking this, or just like (Dr. Victor: No.) you can tell.

Dr. Victor Manzo  

So a lot of things, I teach is feelings, you have to tap into your vibe, you have to get connected back to your body. Too many times we because if he even if he asked a question, I used to do a lot of introspection with questions and so forth. I've gotten so far away from that now. Because, really, because if understanding the mind more from a conditioning standpoint, how do I know they're really saying the truth? How can I get down to the truth and the root of it, I can go from a mind perspective with tons of questions till eventually we may get there, or just go to feelings, because that's, that's how you connect anyhow. And when you're in alignment, when you're in either a soul alignment or just aligned to your vision, and aligned to your purpose of what it is that you want to achieve. Your emotions and vibe will be higher, you'll feel better, you have more energy, you're gonna, you're gonna be excited you're gonna have there's all this positive vibes that come through. Yeah. And then the key is what I teach a lot of my clients is you got to know bringing that into the body. Where does it show up? How does it show up for you, like for myself, it always hits my stomach, that's just I'll get this like a glow. Or sometimes it feels like butterflies, butterflies in my stomach. Or sometimes it's a visualization, well actually feel like a, like a ball like glowing orange like color in there. And I just be like, "Okay, I'm in alignment. I'm feeling good, man. I'm feeling really, my energy's up." And then what you do is, you got to get your brain involved because your brain wants to take over when things are you trying to figure things out when fear kicks in, or whatever your brain is left brain specifically is going to overtake because it wants to control the situation as much as possible. But what you do is just say, "Hey, brain got this, how about this every time I feel this, this means that just keep reminding me that." And now you're allowing the ego to come in and work with you. This is leveraging your mind now so that it can be your compass to know, "Hey, I'm in alignment that maybe this this idea that I'm feeling like I need to take while I'm getting that feeling. It's a aligned. Or may it's this or that or whatever I can go to hold hold that." But ...

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. I love this. I totally love this because I feel like I feel like I'm pretty good at like, "Oh, I'm feeling really anxious right now. I'm feeling really good right now. I'm feeling really energized right now." And you're correct. Like when I'm in alignment. It's like I've ever even bad news. It's like oh, that's gonna be okay, because this is coming up tomorrow. Like you just kind of are like, it's like you're like ignoring it or like aloof but it is it's almost like there's like a barrier that can't take the negative stuff isn't like affecting you in a reactive way. However, I feel like I know a lot of people who actually are so disconnected that they're like, "Okay, guys, I want to go off my feelings but I don't actually know how I'm feeling right now." So how do we get people who are like, like they're in their head so much they're not in their body and they're not feel they don't have that awareness of how they're feeling. Do you know what I mean? Like they don't have the vocabulary yet.

Dr. Victor Manzo  

Yeah, the easiest thing is this, we've all had a good moment in life that we got happy or got excited, or we have brought joy to us, right. And like, I just became a dad six weeks ago. So for me, visualizing my daughter in my arms is the easiest thing to get to that vibe. But we've all had a moment, maybe you played sports, and you it was last minute or you made the winning goal or put, you know, at the home run, or whatever sport it may be, or it could have been playing an instrument and you're in the zone and that feeling you got, we've all had that experience in some way, shape, or form, you just use that to create it. Because even like when it comes to like money, for example, and some people are like, "Well, yeah, I think about I think I know that I can create or I can I can manifest this in my life. But there's always this feeling inside me that just, it's I just don't know, it's I just don't get excited, I just can't get there. "Well, then don't focus on that. Just focus on an event in your life that would brought brought happiness and joy to you. Because what that's all we're trying to focus on is the vibe, that's what we're trying to get to. And then once we you get the vibe up there, that's all your that's your, that's your job is just to make sure your vibration stays at a high, high vibration. And that's having good high emotions, you know, you're and you'll feel it like I, it's this is where I'm trying to learn better how to use words to it, because it's something that you can't, like you put a label on it, you're missing the power of it. (Lesley: Yeah.) And so it's like, so it's one of those things where I'm like, I can kind of explain it in a very, you know, certain way, but it's still not that, like, I have a client a great example, five months in. He, we get on a coaching call, and he goes, "Doc, he's like, I feel like I'm waking up." And I was like, "You mean just today or where we are with this?" He's like, "No, I feel like I'm living in a dream. Like, I can't believe like, this is crazy. I just may sound crazy." I'm like, "Nope, doesn't sound crazy to me been there many times I know what your talking about." And then we walked in, we were talking explaining it and it was just like, a whole different realm and he goes, "I finally get what you mean by feeling. I finally get what you mean at this point." And it's just like he goes, the power of that is so powerful, I'm going it's a lot easier in life when you just do that compared to trying to figure things out. And so (Lesley: Yeah.) but that's what I would recommend is like, you just happen to some that you had that is a positive vibe in some way shape, or form joy, bliss, happiness. And that's all that's that's the feeling, and you just gotta get used to having that.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, I think that's like, I totally understand, like, the words that you use to label things can dismiss their power. But the often that's all we have is words. So I think for a lot of people what you can't label is also really hard to be aware of. So I think there's like an interesting balance there. I guess like there's because so many of the people who listen to this are perfectionist overachievers, right, like their work, the word recovery is trying to be in there. That's what I think I am recovering perfectionist overachiever. And so there, there's somebody who is going ... totally do this. And they're going to get a little bit stuck, because they're going to get a little heady about it. So is there an order in which they need to think about how to approach getting more spiritual and getting in touch with their feelings? So that they can, you know, have a little bit of a roadmap because that's, they're gonna need it.

Dr. Victor Manzo  

Yeah, totally. So here's the easiest way to do it. As you first as I said, I always start with my clients with a vision have a vision of your life. And you can do this in many ways. You can do the whole eulogy thing, if you were going to pass away, what did you want someone say about you? Are you living your life to what that person would be saying? But it could be the vision of what you want, how you see yourself, and vision could go five years, 10 years, 15 20 30 40, it doesn't matter, you you can do all of them if you want. But having you know, starting with the vision, and then what you do with that vision, okay, so you gotta get it in your head, you got to see it in some way. Play it like it's a movie, you know, imagine you're seeing a movie in your head that you are creating and just get imaginative be a kid again, right? Because kids are masters of being being imaginative, and everything I could tell. I mean, I've learned that just from adjusting them. It's crazy what they come up with. And they'll tell me, "Doctor Vic you do this because or Doctor Vic my brains broken today. Oh, your brains broken today? What's going on? I don't know. It's just not working well. Oh, why?" And I just love it. And then obviously making an adjustment, they go, "Yeah, my gears working more." And I'm just like, I love that they're just being creative. But long story short, it's number one, the vision number two then right? So we get the vision, get you know, and then there's the excitement about it, make it feel that it is going to happen, right? When we're perfectionist, I used to be one of myself, you know, hey, we have to control so much. And the freedom of what you're seeking is actually letting go of that control and trusting when we try to control you know, for me, at least it was when I was trying to control a lot. I didn't have trust in the process and that faith in myself to know that it's all gonna work out. I needed to make sure I was on top of everything. And then the last half of my my practice, I did the opposite of that. So having a vision is going to be the first thing and visualizing with it, but get those emotions. You know, I think I'm hope I'm trying to get answering this question. (Lesley: Yeah.) Because then it's the emotional I tried it again. Now, if you can't bring the emotions to the table before you visualize, go anchor. And that's what I was sharing earlier, (Lesley: Yeah.) is you're anchoring into an old experience that is going to make you feel great, it gets you excited, and then go pretend that that's going to happen that whatever you're visualizing, pretend in your mind, that's going to happen. Because here's the thing, there is science to back this up that what I'm sharing with you is not just something out there, whatever you see in your mind, however you project, whatever you see in your mind's eye or your imagination. And whatever you see, with your physical eyes, your brain cannot tell the difference between either. (Lesley: Yeah.) It doesn't know which one's real. So why not be creative and imaginative. This is what billionaires do. Be use your imagination, use vision to false create a reality to make your nervous system and your body think that's real.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah, no, we had Dr. Philippe Douyon on here. And he was talking about how your eyes and ears only see what your brain is looking for. So if you tell your brain, this is happening, your eyes and ears are going to literally have this nice little confirmation bias out there looking for evidence that it's already happening, because that's what they're saying.

Dr. Victor Manzo  

Yeah, I mean, it's your reticular activating system. It's called RAS. And it's what it does, and you program it too, which is actually very cool. So like he was saying, if you see it in a certain way, if you value that in a specific way, then that is going to be all that you're going to see. And anything else that you don't value, it will not reach your consciousness, it will literally filter that stuff out. So that way you do not see it. So this is why you can have 10 people line up for an event and you can get 10 different stories. It's not because they saw something different. It's just because what their values were, they only saw what they valued. (Lesley: Yeah.) And so then they share that story from there. (Lesley: Yeah.) But that that's the side of that. And then it just, you know, the feeling side, you know, this is where when we can step into the state of more joy, that's our natural state as a soul. So that's in a state of being in alignment. And the more you practice this, the more it becomes easier to manifest the things that you desire in your life. So I always say visions first and visualize second and get into bringing those positive or higher vibe emotions. And then the fourth thing that you can do is just feel where it shows up, you may not know in the beginning, this is your first time doing this. It's okay. Don't try to think you have to have this nailed down. I'm very sensitive. And it took me a while to master this. Even though I'm very, I was already sensitive. I had people friends of mine who were when I was doing energy healing, they would do an exercise where they'll think of a number between one and 10. And I would have to feel what that number was, and then say it, and I would get it wrong. And she's like, you're in your head, I can feel you're in your head, she's like, "You already know the number, you're second guessing yourself." And I was like, "Oh, I did." Because I thought it was this, I felt it. And then I went with something else. And then it got to a point where all of a sudden, I was like 20 for 20. And I was just like, "This is cool, how I can just feel what the number is." And she's like, "Yeah, you just have to, this is what you need to do in life. And this was gonna help guide you in healing, what's gonna guide you and all those things." But it took me a while to do that. This is like a whole new skill. It's, even though we were naturally inclined to doing this already. It's just we've been conditioned over the years, to get away from our internal aspects of things and focus externally, and everything with how health happiness and all those kinds of things.

Lesley Logan  

100%. I love this so much. You all you just got like a nice little roadmap to be it till you see your vision, vision first, then visualize it happening. And then and then get to that feeling of it. And it feels sort of see all the things even wanting to be happening now. You don't have to like wait for it.

Dr. Victor Manzo  

You don't. And then the other thing too is you don't have to figure things out anymore. Like I talk a lot about effortless action that leads to effortless success. And there's a law called the Law of Inspired Action. And I always say if you truly understand the Law of Inspired Action, you'll never have to figure out anything ever again in your life. Like literally you won't, because when you step into the right vibe, law of vibration states, whatever you you can only experience in the physical world, whatever you are vibrating at. But at the same token why you focus on vibe is because let's say I want to be a millionaire, but I only make $50,000 a year, but I want to make a million dollars a year. But what I do is if I focus my vibe on being getting to that level of being a millionaire, I may not have it in my bank account yet. That's okay. What's going to happen is you're going to attract ideas, people circumstances and situations to help you along the way to get to that point. And they'll come to you. And I'm living proof of it. I have clients that are living proof of it. My books are living proof of it. Because all my books that I've written had never been something that was like, "Oh, my first book, I want it to be like this because of X Y Z." And then my second I mean, I have a goal of writing 30 books in my life, just because I want to share as much as I possibly can. And it's one of those things where I don't even know where my number four books gonna come. (Lesley: Right.) I have no clue whatsoever, but I know it will come to me when the time's right.

Lesley Logan  

Okay, there's amazingness. So I do I do agree and you just said it really quickly. I want to make sure you really can only experience what you're putting out there. If you are an angry, frustrated person. You're only going to experience angry frustrating things like you cannot, you're not like you're not going to be able to see like there's a beautiful rainbow. You're gonna be like, "Ah, look at the clouds covering the rainbow." Like you're not gonna have the good times. Can you, you said the Law of Inspired Action, just because that one, I don't know, can you just like, what's the dis... like, what's the definition of that one because that's amazing?

Dr. Victor Manzo  

It's something that you're going to be called to, you're going to be inspired to take, it's gonna pull you. It's, it's literally it pulls you in, like, writing my third book was like this, I can share this example. I remember, it was November 2021. And all of a sudden, I was like, you know, haven't written a book and while and all of a sudden, I just kept thinking book kept coming in my head. I'm like, "Why am I thinking about a book?" I'm not I got, I'm just, I'm getting ready for a move. I'm here ready to close my office? Why the heck is a book coming in, I don't have time for that. And it was one of those things where it's just like a kept tugging at me. So I mentioned, I'm, like, I got out of a meditation. And I was just thinking of conditioning and how the mind was, it was just a very interesting meditation I had, and all of a sudden out of the blue, it was like, decoding the matrix. And I was like, "Decoding the matrix." And then here comes the instance of a book and I'm going, "Okay, do I have to write this book?" I'm like, "You know, I know how this works, fine. I'll and I'll entertain this because it just kept pulling me or it kept grabbing my attention." That's, it's gonna, and then I got excited about it. I was like, "Oh, my God, decoding the matrix, this would be great. Man, decoding matrix blah, blah, blah." It was just like, it was just coming, like out of me.

Lesley Logan  

So have you read the book, Big Magic?

Dr. Victor Manzo  

I know it, but I haven't read it.

Lesley Logan  

It's Elizabeth Gilbert, and she talks about how ideas want to be born, and they're going to come to you. And if you sit on them too long, they will just go off to somebody else because they want to be born. And so and it's okay, like, you know, there's nothing wrong, like you're not the worst person if you don't take the action. But she's shares a story about a thing that she was thinking of right. And she hadn't told anybody what the story was gonna be. So all this research, and then she meets another author and their their pen pals, but they're not talking about what they're writing about. And then finally, they get on a call. And they're like, "Okay, well, what are you writing about?" And the girl tells her, which is right now. And it's the same story that Liz was going to write about a year before, but she did take a pause for a family thing. And then she, she did all the research, it was sitting right there, she never took the action. And the idea when someone else and that person literally was doing it told her and just like, "Oh, I have all the research that you probably want for that." So I just think, um, I think it's really amazing. I think, I think people might be listening is going, "That doesn't happen to me." I think it does happen. We're just so in our heads, we're like, you're going, "Why is that? I don't want to deal with that right now." Like, or "I don't even know what that is?" Like, you're kind of deflecting the ideas that are cut... the inspiration that's coming to you because you're too busy, or you're too overwhelmed, or you're too anything and not actually staying in, in your alignment and staying with what's going on.

Dr. Victor Manzo  

100%. I mean, it is this, it's just one of those things that like you said, ideas, the books, those kinds of things, they all want to be born in some way. And it's, there's advice that we've all been told, and I was thinking about this a few months back and that, you know, you've always heard, go chase your dreams. Go out, go chase your dreams. Go live your life, you know, and that is like one of the worst advices to give. And here's why. Because that goes against the law of vibration. You see, when we're if you think of yourself as like a magnet, you just have to tune your frequency to what it is. And then all of a sudden, whatever you seek is going to seek you. That's a spiritual truth. And so whatever you're looking for, is going to want to if you're giving it life, and it's gonna be like, "Oh my God, yes, you are the person." This is this, this is gonna sound crazy. But if you ever, there's been medium shows on Netflix now and you'll hear this, if you ever watch one of them, they'll always talk about like, this person is coming through to me, because they know that I can I understand it. They're coming to me so I'm the one who can share this message. It's just as easy be like this is this happens because they know that I can understand them. It's the same thing with your ideas and stuff. When you align to that certain level, they're gonna come to you, because you are the one that can give it life they want to live and they want to have an experience. Think of him as a living entity. Les Brown does a hospital bed speech or death bed speech like that he'll talk about you're on your death bed and so forth. Highly recommend people to listen to it. But it resonates is exactly what we're talking about, of doing that. And so when you step into that vibe of what you want to create, there's endless ideas that will come there's endless situations and circumstances and people, but you just have to focus there. And when you do that, then all of a sudden law of inspired action is going to come because you will be inspired. It's kind of like in again, old book. It's only a couple, you know a couple 1000 years old, it was written 2500 years ago, Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu. And one of his verses. It's any one verse I highly recommend when they read it. But it's one of his verses. He says like, if you feel like you have to do force, or you have to force to do something, then don't do it at all. And in the Western world, we hear then and go, "That is absurd. No, I need to ..."

Lesley Logan  

Everything's a force. I gotta just do all of it. And it has to be hard because I'm pulling myself up on my bootstraps, because that's what everyone does.

Dr. Victor Manzo  

Exactly. But if you really listen to it, right, when you feel anxious, or I, because I get that sometimes I'm like, "Oh, I have to be doing this, I gotta get this done." And it's like, "Oh, you know what, I'm not going to do it, I'm gonna take a step back. And the reason why is I need to recenter myself, I'm not inspired to do that I'm forcing it." And that's why in a Forbes article, it was they said, 60% of leadership is burned out. That's why a majority of entrepreneurs are burned out, because we're forcing all the time. And instead of if we just learn to step into the vibe, and just take a hey, even when you feel like you have to forcing something, just take a break for a second, like when I'm in and this is this is you've seen this in athletes, when they talk about being in the zone, you've been in a flow state or an artist has been in a flow or when someone's in the instrument, and they're in the flow state. You when you're in a flow state, and you're in this space of this vibe, you get so much more done faster, and it's at a high vibration. But what that means is that the quality of what you're going to produce is way better than what you're going to do that from a force. I can talk about this from a neurological perspective and a neuroscience perspective. But there's so much into that just from that one quote. When I remember when I was listening to it years ago, I was like, "Wow, that is so true. Man, I do a lot of forcing." (Lesley: Yeah.) Didn't realize that. I mean (Lesley: Yeah.) it to take more time just to be, just take more time to self. And that's what I've done this year. I've actually made a commitment this year to my wife and like any time I feel like I'm not doing enough or I don't feel like I because I used to be a workaholic. I used to be a perfectionist. I always felt like I had a dad who always nothing against this. I mean, I love my father, but he always like if I he came home, and I was playing a video game or watching TV, "What are you doing? There's things that we got to get done." And you know, he obviously he there's a lot of stress in the house that things that needed to get done. There wor... my parents were working multiple jobs just to make ends meet. But at the same token that instilled in me, I didn't know how to relax, I don't know how to really be. (Lesley: Right. I understand that.) Right? (Lesley: Yeah.) And so but that's the power and the beauty of this stuff, because then it's just like take a moment and get your vibe right. And then all of a sudden, you may have thought of a different idea or you're able to get into that flow state and you work for 30 minutes to an hour that would have took you four to six hours if you're forcing it.

Lesley Logan  

Yeah. Oh my gosh, Victor so much good stuff. Okay, we're gonna take a quick break, find out how people can read the books, get to work with you and your BE IT action items.

All right, Victor. Where can people find, follow you, get your books? Where were you hanging out these days?

Dr. Victor Manzo  

So the easiest is my hub is my website, empoweryourreality.com. I have my free resources on there. One on one, if you wanted to get on a coaching call just to see what's going on, to discover you saw what's happening. What are the challenges, what are the dream, dream dreams and you want to achieve, the goals you want to have? And so forth. And then at the bottom left of my website is all my socials, I'm on Facebook, Instagram, TikTok and LinkedIn. I post about five, six times a week relating to mindset, spirituality, money, consciousness, anything related to the mind, basically in spirituality and in universal laws to help elevate. So if you have any questions, I love hearing from people send me, drop me a DM, I always love to read them and respond. And but yeah, that's pretty much it. And then my books are on, my books are all over Amazon.

Lesley Logan  

Perfect. Okay, so you've given us a lot of good stuff, but just in case people skip to the end, want the cliffnotes BE IT action items. I there's a few of you, I know who do that. Bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it.

Dr. Victor Manzo  

Number one, as I shared earlier as your vision. You got to create something, create a movie in your life of what you want to see. Like literally, I want you to sit and literally just create a movie of how you see your life to be. And whatever that is, don't judge it. Don't anything, just let your mind, go into it and create that experience. If you can't visualize, write it down, journal it either or some people like visualization. Some like to write it down. If you want to do both do both doesn't matter either way. But get into that creating that movie. Then the second thing is, you know, remember a moment in time that you had that excited you, that got you so excited like a kid, maybe it was something as you were as a kid, maybe it was something having your child or maybe it was a sports event, whatever it may be, whatever gets you to that vibe, focus on that, just get into an immerse yourself into that feeling. What does that feel like? The third thing is pay attention where it shows up and always shows up in a certain area, you'll feel a sensation, if you're not used to it. For all your listeners, what you can do if you want to feel sensation is you're ever hands really, really fast. And do it for like 10 to 15 seconds, and then you just take them apart and just feel what your hands are, you're gonna feel like a slight vibration in your hands. That's actually the life within you. That's what life actually feels like. We're very numb to it in many ways. And so that feeling usually will show up somewhere in your body in some way, shape or form. Just become aware of that because that becomes a compass for you in the work that you want to achieve or do or lead towards your vision. So those would be the three things that I'd recommend they can start immediately.

Lesley Logan  

I love all of those. You guys, how are you going to use these in your life? We want to know. So tag myself, tag Victor on Instagram and we'll put those links in the show notes below. So it's really easy for you and tell us what your takeaways were which one of these BE IT action items or which one of the laws did you hear helped you, made something makes sense for you? Let us know and share it with a friend who needs to hear a little bit more about this maybe you know, those friends were like, ... but you can like send them this and then they you know, you're not the one telling them what to do. Someone else is people always listen more. Thank you so much, Victor. Thank you for everyone listening to this and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day! 

 'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'. 

Brad Crowell  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.  

Lesley Logan  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.  

Brad Crowell  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianranco Cioffi.  

Lesley Logan  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all videos each week so you can. 

Brad Crowell  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai