Be It Till You See It

If you hear conflicting advice do you end up getting stuck? Do you beat yourself up about it? Today LL and Brad talk more about that, how we often hold ourselves accountable to things that aren't even of our own design, and why we should definitely, absolutely, 100% bet on ourselves first.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• OPC flashcards are now on Amazon
• Bold moment from Amanda: implemented changes to my class schedule
• We think Launa Jae McClung should be a comedian :-)
• The mental cycle of how we judge ourselves
• Sometimes we make it our fault instead of recognizing the system is flawed
• Get really good at deciding where you get your information from
• You have a 100% survival rate of every situation

Episode References/Links:

• OPC Flashcards are on Amazon
• OPC Flashcards are on our site

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:01  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the candid convo I had with Launa McClung in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now. Go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. Seriously, you cannot skip that one.

Brad Crowell 1:03  

It's a great, hilarious, (Lesley: It's so ...) candid interview. (Brad laughs)

Lesley Logan 1:06  

Yeah ... Her her words are amazing. She is, she is worth the follow my friends. I promise. (Lesley laughs) So anyways, we had something exciting happen, y'all. We've been working on this behind the scenes for so freakin' long (I actually forgot we're working on it.) (Brad: Yeah) Brad, what's happening?

Brad Crowell 1:27  

We finally opened up an Amazon account for onlinepilatesclasses.com.

For the flashcards. (Brad laughs)

Yeah, there's an account right now currently, we have two products up. We got the flashcards for the mat and reformer on there. And we'll have some others up there eventually. But it... I'm not kidding. It took four months to get this stupid account open. It was quite a process, fighting with Amazon to get everything exactly the way we needed it to be with the name of it because they don't like having ".com" in the name (Lesley: No) of the brand.

Lesley Logan 2:01  

And we couldn't just be OPC or Online Pilates Classes because ... (Brad: It's a little too vague. So ...) And so it's also our name. (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 2:09  

Right. So anyway, that was a fight. But we got it, we got what we needed. It's finally up. It's live. And that's very exciting. So if you prefer to that we ... Look, shop from our site, or shop from Amazon.

Lesley Logan 2:27  

Yeah, we're not sending you away from our site, please come to our site. But we also know that maybe you trust us and know us, you're like, "No problem!" (Brad: Right) But maybe your friends and family like, "I don't know, I prefer to trust the man." So ... (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 2:41  

Yeah and (Lesley: That's fine) I mean, you know, Amazon obviously takes care of their customers, all the things. Does ship Prime so they can get it like in two days, (Lesley: Yeah) which is great. I mean, ours, I think ours gets there in three days. So it's not too bad. But anyway, you know, you're protected with Amazon and all those things. So ...

Lesley Logan 2:57  

You're also parti... you're very much protected with us. But look, (Brad: Yeah) we just know (Brad: That's true) that some people don't carry their credit card around. (Brad: Right) And so you have it already stored there. And you want to just like click and ship, you know, like add to cart, and then like, you know, skip it all the way like you can even swipe now. You're like, just send it and it's like, you know, so I get it and we wanted to basically our mission is "More bodies doing Pilates," and getting these ... (Brad: More bodies doing Pilates.) Getting our cards on Amazon is part of that mission because (Brad: Yeah) not everyone knows me. I know. You can't believe it. (Brad laughs) You can't believe it because you're like everybody knows LL, but not everyone does. And so this, this is our opportunity to help spread the word. So you can buy it from us or you can buy it from Amazon. Both links will be below in the show notes.

Brad Crowell 3:42  

Okay, I think we've exhausted that.

Lesley Logan 3:43  

... I think so. Here we go. Oh, but first. (Brad and Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 3:50  

Wow, that was a very natural transition right there.

Lesley Logan 3:53  

You know, just call me "grace" over here. (Brad and Lesley laughs) So normally we have a question, but this week, we have a bold moment. Yeah. (Brad: Yeah) Okay. What's a bold moment? Tell everyone we started last week.

Brad Crowell 4:06  

Yeah. So I think this bold moment number two. (Lesley: Yeah) We have had some very exciting feedback from those who are following the pod. And they submitted a bold moment that they did in their life, and they were celebrating the win and they shared it with us. And we thought it was so cool. We thought we would share it with you.

Lesley Logan 4:28  

Yeah, so this is from Mandy and so if you want to send me a bold moment, you just have to say bold moment. Mandy didn't say that but I'm sharing it because it's fucking bold. Here we go. "Hope you get this message because I want to say a huge thank you. As a result of taking your workshop on multi level classes and your podcast focus on taking messy action, I began implementing changes and how I run semiprivate trio and quad sessions at her at my studio." (Brad: Amazing.) I know. "In the past, I would have waited until everything was perfect before getting started but as you say 'perfect is boring' and without action, nothing changes. So I jumped in outside of my comfort zone and my clients have expressed appreciation for the change notice in the value, while graciously understand that beginnings can be a bit chaotic. I'm encouraged, energized and grateful for what I get to do every day. Thank you very, very much."

Brad Crowell 5:16  

Oh, that's amazing.

Lesley Logan 5:17  

Is that's so cool.

Brad Crowell 5:18  

That's exactly why we do this pod. (Lesley: I know) To encourage you, to get out there, get it started. Don't let it you know, don't don't let it linger. Because that's what it's very easy to do to think like, you know, what I'm bringing mi... you know, the people won't see the value in it until it's perfect, all that kind of stuff. But the truth is, you just got to start you got to start sometime. So (Lesley: Yeah) we're here to encourage you to keep doing that. We... so Mandy, thank you for sharing that that was really lovely. And ...

Lesley Logan 5:49  

I'm also glad I got that message that wasn't one of those like random Facebook requests, but like the hidden ones like you (Brad: Oh, cool. Yeah) you know, like pass. It's like three different steps ... (Brad: Hits us up on IG.) Yeah. (Brad: It's a little more direct) You can also hit me up on Facebook, but it's it's quite possible you end up in the purgatory, because it's not really where I hang out. But anyways, Mandy got through and you know what good things will, they get through. So, congratulations. (Brad laughs) All right. Thank you for that bold moment. I want to read more keep them coming.

Brad Crowell 6:15  

Amazing. All right. Now let's talk about Launa McClung. Launa Jae McClung is a nutritionist, a Crossfit coach and a giver who gets energy from pouring into other people. She helps her clients dial in fat loss through counting macros, and then learning how to sustainably build a plate to keep the fat at bay long after they are finished working with her. And she's hilarious.

Lesley Logan 6:41  

Oh, she's so funny. (Brad laughs) Also, did you know that we like we were already connected to Launa before I met Launa? (Brad: No!) One of our other members Holly is also like really close friends with her.

Brad Crowell 6:52  

Get out of here. (Lesley: I know) I know, Holly.

Lesley Logan 6:54  

I know you know Holly. (Brad: Yeah) And I was ... (Lesley laughs) And I, I think Holly posted a picture of me when I was in Dallas, and Launa was like, "You know my girl, Holly?"

Brad Crowell 7:03  

What? That's so funny. I did not know that. Well, amazing.

Lesley Logan 7:07  

Yeah. Anyways, I love how small the world is.

Brad Crowell 7:09  

Yeah, so Launa Jae.

Lesley Logan 7:10  

Yeah. We had to ... was a fun conversation. She is hilarious. I ...

Brad Crowell 7:15  

Oh, yeah. She just off the cuff is, is like a comedian.

Lesley Logan 7:19  

Yeah. (Brad: She's great.) I know in your next life, Launa maybe, maybe you're a comedian, but if you're like me, and you don't like to stay up late. It's probably not in your future either. But something I loved. She said a lot of funny things that I really did enjoy. But ... 

Brad Crowell 7:32  

Oh, come on. There's, I mean, meeting your maker .... There was so many one liners ...

Lesley Logan 7:37  

... Like, well, I don't even know how we led to being like crawling back into our mother's womb. But like that happened, that came out of the podcast, I never thought that'd be a sentence on the BE IT pod. It is. Now it's there.

Brad Crowell 7:48  

I mean, I think her description of Crossfit also might be one of my favorite ... 

Lesley Logan 7:52  

You know, we have to share this with Cindy, our trainer. (Brad: Yeah. Yeah, we have to.) We have to send this podcast to her. Anyway, so ... when you listen to this, let us know if the description is accurate. (Lesley and Brad laughs) Well, you know, it must be because Cindy is trying to get us to do the Valentine's Day Massacre...

Brad Crowell 8:08  

I know. That does does that sound fun!

Lesley Logan 8:11  

It doesn't sound like I'm gonna want to be with my valentine later that day. (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 8:15  

Sign me up for the massacre...

Lesley Logan 8:17  

Sounds like we're gonna be in an ice bath later. But anyways, we'll do we'll do whatever keeps us strong and young. Okay. Anyways, back to Launa and (Brad: Yeah) what she said. So, I actually wanted to bring this up again, because I think this cycle that she talks about can be, you can insert any word here. So she said the binge guilt shame self-worth cycle based on the confusion of conflicting diet advice is like we talked about, like all that comes from it because you start one diet, but then you have this other diet that didn't work. So you feel like it's you ...

Brad Crowell 8:47  

Coffee's good. Coffee is bad. Wine is good. Wine is bad. (Lesley: Yeah) Eggs are good. Eggs are bad.

Lesley Logan 8:53  

But you ... but when no one ever judge is like the source of the information. They're like, "Oh, I must not be drinking the coffee correctly. I must not be there's something wrong with me." (Brad: Like they make it their fault, right? Right. Yeah) Yes. Yes. Yes. And that is an interesting cycle confusion that can happen with anything. Maybe you're reading three different business coaches, one person saying, "Instagram is dead." The other person saying, "Instagram is amazing, screw email," and like or maybe you're trying to like find a date. (Lesley laughs) And like you've got one person saying, "It's all about Hinge." The other person saying, "Get outside and just walk up to people." Like, that's all confusing. You got to really, first of all, you have to understand that most often. It is rarely you and is often the design that is flawed ...

Brad Crowell 9:39  

Well, I would ... I would I would advise you not to just walk up to people. If you're looking for a date, like, "Hey, are you single?"

Lesley Logan 9:46  

Well, they're making a movie about someone just pulling someone out of the audience. So JLo is about to ruin your recommendation right there. (Brad: Yeah. I guess that is true.) But if you listen to Brad's advice, don't listen to JLo's advice and you won't be confused. (Lesley laughs) Anyways, um yeah, I just think that it's really important that you get really close with ... get, get really good at understanding where you are taking information and be cognizant of whose information you allow in. And then if things don't work out, I mean, I don't want to create a bunch of egotistical people who blame. But also, if you're listening to this more than likely than not, you're not a blamer, you're shamer. And so you're gonna take on the responsibility of the flaw of the design as opposed to a character flaw. So just, you know, stick with a stick, get someone's advice, do your ...

Brad Crowell 10:33  

Well, let's also talk about the, you know, she was talking about eating, right? Binge (Lesley: Yeah) then the guilt then the shame than the self worth conversation, the cycle, (Lesley: Yeah) right? So whatever it is, if it's whether it's food, or whether it's something else, you know, when you you know, feel then like you do an action, then you feel guilty, then you feel shame over it. And then you you like, measure yourself against this feeling that you've had of like, you know, for me, when I was younger, it was like, my friends were drinking when I was a teenager, right? And I wanted to drink but then I felt guilty about wanting to drink because I knew I knew drinking was bad.

Lesley Logan 11:13  

You just felt guilty (Brad: You know ...) about wanting to do it.

Brad Crowell 11:15  

Oh, yeah. I never actually did. Yeah, I didn't drink until (Lesley: Wow) I was ... No, I think I had my first drink when I was 19, which is still was illegal. But I was adult enough to like, make a decision at that point. But my friends started drinking younger than that. And I was like, "No, I can't. I just can't do it." You know, because like, you know, I was like, my parents were like, "You can't drink." So I said "no."

Lesley Logan 11:32  

So then you're shaming yourself. (Brad: Yeah. Then I would ...) And thinking about wanting to do it.

Brad Crowell 11:35  

Then I felt guilty for wanting to drink even because my friends were drinking. And I didn't see they weren't being ridiculous. They were just drinking, right? It wasn't like they were getting plastered and driving cars into trees. They were just drinking and having a party, you know? And I thought, well, they don't like they don't look like anything is crazy. So maybe drinking isn't bad. But then I felt guilty for wanting to drink. And then I felt shame around the whole thing. So I totally understand the cycle. (Brad laughs) (Lesley: Oh my gosh, poor young Brad) I'm gonna make myself also sound like a total nerd. This sounds like Hermione, talking to Ron about girls' feelings. That's what this sounds like. Yeah. Anyway, ... all of those things can be felt by one person. Yes ... (Brad and Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 11:36  

Oh, my gosh, I love you so much. (Brad: Yeah) I mean, but what you're, what you're saying is you've accurately described how people feel when it comes to dieting, or how people feel about changes they want to make in their lives. And (Brad: Sure) I just think it's so important that you just honor, you honor what your goals were originally and you love yourself, and then try not to take in too many different people's advice at the same time on the same topic, because that's gonna make you confused and also in shame. And that's like, that sounds like a really sad place to be.

Brad Crowell 12:44  

Yeah, it's not a fun cycle.

Lesley Logan 12:46  

Okay, what did you love?

Brad Crowell 12:47  

Alright, so, you know, this is not something that I'm particularly good at doing, which is why I loved her saying it. She said, "Listen to what your body wants." And I, this, for me, always comes back to sleep. For the first 35 years of my life, I decided I'll sleep when I'm dead. You know, and I literally said that to everyone. I said that to myself. I said it out loud. It was just my mantra. And, you know, I ended up I shared this before on the pod, but I ended up in the hospital, when I was in college, because I didn't sleep. I have, you know, like, like, fallen asleep at the wheel because I didn't sleep. Only momentarily, but it has happened. You know, that's terrifying. You know, so the reality is listening to what your body wants. You know, we, you might not understand it right away. But you will start to pick up the signs of, you know, for me what what's like the most blatant sign that my body needs sleep is my nose will start to run. (Lesley: Really?) Yeah, my nose starts running (Lesley: Oh my gosh) for no reason. (Lesley: Next time.) I'm like, "Oh, I have to go to sleep" because I'm clearly past the point. My body's like, "You're done, dude." You know, but they're ...

Lesley Logan 14:05  

Wow! That is an incredible insight.

Brad Crowell 14:07  

Yeah. I mean, I said again, I like was doing sleep deprivation for 35 years. So I know how it works, right? But you know, whatever it might be what maybe it's hunger. Maybe it's food, maybe it's coffee. Maybe it's bleary eyed. Maybe it's your hearing, there are things that your body will tell you about how you're treating it. And we often, it's easy to ignore because we have the will power to march on or do whatever it might be. And what I started doing in the last like two years was when I and I'm like tired. In the middle of the afternoon, I will go take a nap. And then ...

Lesley Logan 14:46  

You've been doing really good with taking naps. When your body says to nap.

Brad Crowell 14:50  

I don't do that all the time. You know, but what I've what I've started to allow myself is downtime where I'm tired. For example last night I was tired. And it was literally 7:30. And I was like, "It's time (Lesley: I know) to go to bed."

Lesley Logan 15:06  

Isn't that so fun to go to bed? When you're like, "Oh, it's time to go to bed."

Brad Crowell 15:10  

I mean, maybe I don't know, I think that that's the weirdest thing because I probably could have watched. I mean, I can watch two hours, two movies in the time, I normally would have gone to bed, which is like a little after midnight, you know, but ... (Lesley: Oh my God. But ...) That's the argument that goes through my head where I'm like, "This time, I'm wasting this time by sleeping." Right? It's like ... and I understand, (Lesley: Okay) that's clearly not the conversations you have.

Lesley Logan 15:32  

... This is why he has an Oura ring. Because I need to get him and my dad understanding how important their sleep is. And now they're like, "Oh, I got a 79. Oh, I got a 90." And then they're like, "How did I get a 90?" And now they're actually trying to get more sleep in and they're being conscious of it. (Brad: Yeah.) But yeah, I think, listen to what your body wants. That is also something that takes time y'all and like, but the more you do, the more you explore. And then you also it doesn't have to be right, like if you maybe your nose doesn't run when you're sleeping, maybe it doesn't maybe gets dried up, but like, just what is it like experiment is what I would say and so have fun with that experimenting and go, "Oh, I think I'm tired right now. Okay, we'll go take a nap." If you didn't fall asleep, then maybe you were actually just needing some water, maybe need some vitamin D, try the different things until you figure out. (Brad: Yeah, that's ...) ... another sign.

Brad Crowell 16:20  

I think food is another one that we easily ignore. I know most of my colleagues and friends would just skip lunch when we were in the office. (Lesley: Yeah) Because you don't have time and you're running around ...

Lesley Logan 16:30  

All the stories we're telling ourselves. (Brad: Yeah) And also, um, what was I going to say? Well, it ran out the window, but ...

Brad Crowell 16:38  

You talking about drinking water.

Lesley Logan 16:39  

Oh, yeah. (Brad: You know) So thank you. Sometimes you think you're hungry when you're thirsty. That's what the studies ... say. (Brad: Oh, interesting) Yeah, that's the study say. Okay, Amanda (Brad: Well ...) goodluck with that one. (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 16:52  

Yeah. So anyway,

Lesley Logan 16:53  

She sells sheasells down by the seashore (Brad and Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 16:57  

Oh, geez. (Lesley: All right. Here we go.) All right. So finally, let's talk about those BE IT action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Launa McClung? Ah, right. That's why I go to bed. So ... (Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 17:14  

I love you so much. I hope this is not anyone's first time listening, because (Brad: Yeah) all this makes sense if you listen to us all the time...

Brad Crowell 17:21  

Okay, so she, she did something that another thing that I was really bad at for a very long time, was setting boundaries. She said, you know, "When I started working for myself, I began to just tell my clients, I'm available nine to five, Monday to Friday." And for her, she's got a different setup than we do. She allows people to vox her (v o x which is a voxer, v o x e r is an app, whatever.) And it just is effectively like a direct message straight to her. And she said, she turns it off after 5pm, it's off. And her clients because she's repeated this consistently, know, if they hit her up on Saturday, she will not get back to them until Monday. And for her that has allowed her to step away from, you know, a being an entrepreneur working from home doing all the things that you know, especially in the last year, many of us have begun to do. But I don't know about you, but I've noticed that I just work all the time now... like forever. I never seem to stop, you know ...

Lesley Logan 18:26  

Well, cuz you've always you've we've actually been you've been working from home since 2016 ... (Brad: Yeah, yeah.) It wasn't like you were like, had boundaries and didn't have boundaries. And you're like, "Oh, I need to go back to that." It's like, "Nope." (Lesley laughs) It's like you go work whenever you can sit at your desk.

Brad Crowell 18:41  

Yeah, and she also did something that I I don't know that I can do. (Brad laughs) She said she hides her phone. (Lesley: No, not impossi.... it's not possible thing) And she said she actually like will be out with friends and the friends will know that she doesn't have any idea or her phone is so she can't be responsible for calling the Uber or even like telling you what time it is because she doesn't have her phone. And that is I would say that's a hurdle for me that's a challenge ... 

Lesley Logan 19:06  

... sounds like like free falling. It's like, "What time is it? ... What day is it?" Like (Brad: Yeah, yeah) "Where am I?" (Brad laughs) I feel like that when we are in Cambodia and I don't have Wi-Fi and I'm like ...

Brad Crowell 19:18  

Right. You're just out and about in the temples and it just happens to be the afternoon. (Lesley: Yeah) What time doesn't matter. So I haven't gotten that far yet. But I thought that was really impressive. And I I think it's also a great tool if that is a vise for you to maybe try what Launa's doing there.

Lesley Logan 19:37  

Yeah, Okay my turn. I love this quote that she was, like she was we pulled for it. Like, "You have 100% survival rate of every situation, everything scary, everything big that you've ever been in." Right? Can you like just picture that? Everything is scary, (Brad: 100% survival rate) everything, every situation that didn't go the way you expected, all of them. If you're listening to this, it means you're alive and you survived all the bad days. So if you can count on one person, the entire world to be to put your best interest in, out front and foremost, it's you. So if you've survived everything you've been through, you'll survive this too. And if it's up to you, you got really good odds. I freaking love it. 

Brad Crowell 20:19  

Yeah. So this ... (Lesley: I love it so much.) this is the putting yourself first. (Lesley: Yes.) Yeah.

Lesley Logan 20:25  

I know ... Of course.

Brad Crowell 20:27  

It's brilliant. It's also a great twist on the idea of it.

Lesley Logan 20:30  

I think so because we've heard like, you've survived 100% of all bad days.

Brad Crowell 20:36  

No, I was gonna say, you know, we think that putting ourselves first is selfish. (Lesley: Oh) Right? And so this is, this is effectively while the argument there is our argument against that is it's not selfish. You have to sew into yourself in order to serve others better. (Lesley: Yeah) Launa's argument to that is, if there's a horse to bet on in the race, it's you because you're still here and you've survived, you know, through (Lesley: Yeah) all the things, whatever the things are, you have made it through. So who would you rather bet on somebody else or yourself?

Lesley Logan 21:08  

Right? Like, how would you rather put all your stuff into somebody else? When things go wrong, you can bet on you. Yeah, (Brad: Yeah) Yeah. I anyways, all of it. I'm into. And I just think it's such a great reminder when we're going through stuff or we have to choose, sometimes you have to choose between putting yourself first and doing something for someone else. And this might be the reminder that you need to put yourself first a little bit more than you think. (Brad: Yeah) Probably more than you think.

Brad Crowell 21:34  

Yeah. 100%

Lesley Logan 21:36  

All right. I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell 21:37  

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 21:38  

Thank you so much for joining us today. We are freaking grateful that you're here. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Let us know by sending us a DM on the @be_it_pod on Instagram. And we'll catch you on the next episode.

Brad Crowell 21:51  

Bye for now.

Lesley Logan 21:55  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It TilI You See It. Have an awesome day!

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell 22:27  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 22:34  

Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell 22:40  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 22:49  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell 23:00  

And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

How do Cheez-Its fit into a healthy diet? Well, Launa Jae McClung will tell you all about that on today’s episode with Lesley Logan. They cover getting out of autopilot mode, listening to what your body wants, how to set boundaries - and best of all, how to keep them.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• One of the things that hold us back from showing up fully in life is the amount of brain space we give to what we can't have.
• The binge, guilt, shame, self-worth cycle based on the confusion of conflicting diet advice
• “Listening” to what your body wants
• Getting out of “automation” mode
• Slow down, eat, assess - detach from screens whenever you’re eating
• Setting boundaries, respecting them so you have the space throughout the day to do what you need to do
• What is CrossFit? What is a “Murph”?

Episode References/Links:

• Launa Jae on IG
• Launa Jae on FB

Guest Bio:

Launa Jae is a certified personal trainer, Crossfit coach, Fitness Nutrition Specialist, and founder of LVLX Wellness.

Over the last 8 years, in the nutrition industry, she's tried everything from cutting out carbs to meal replacement shakes/liquid diets to the Paleo Diet, and the only nutritional method that has ever given me peace of mind was learning how to eat FLEXIBLY. Learning how to PRACTICE MODERATION -flexible dieting- has remained the single, most valuable tool in body composition preservation and fat loss for her over the years.

Launa works with her clients on how to feel comfortable in their own skin, finding a way that they can eat for life, and sustain results long-term!

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Hey babe, how are you? Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast. I'm so happy you're here. Thank you for continuing to listen and download all these episodes and share your takeaways. It's just really fun for me to see all of them. Umm I wake up in the morning, I look at my - well not right away. But like when I get to my social media I look at the different DMs from y'all and it just brightens my day to see what parts of the podcast are inspiring you. So thank you so much. This is your first time, welcome, hello, I'm Lesley Logan. This is the Be It Till You See It podcast where we are going to help you take messy action and create boundaries that help prioritize yourself, first because that's how you do anything on this planet. And, my guest today actually is going to truly help you see that it's okay to be imperfect and to work on boundaries and it doesn't come naturally for everyone, including her. And, so I think that for those of you who think of yourself as a people pleaser or struggle to umm to maintain and uphold boundaries you're really going to love this. She is a nutritionist and CrossFit coach among many other things. She really found her way into her business and her job and career through figuring things out and like asking questions. And I think that that is so important I wanted to say to you, you know a lot of people are like, "How did you become a Pilates teacher?" I was honestly like scratching an itch, I really just wanted to, I wanted to feel... I wanted to connect to myself more and I was feeling really lost in my life and umm my friend invited me to a class and I felt things in my body never felt before and I wanted to feel those again and so I just kept going and kept going and then you know I was like, "Oh maybe I..." someone was then like, "You should teach us" and I was like, "Okay" you know and I kind of just fell down this path that brought me to where I am here talking with you. And and I think you know when you're feeling a little stuck or when you're wondering like, "What is it I'm supposed to be doing?" Honestly, what do you like doing? What is what is your curiosity moment. That's really going to help dictate what you, what you're going to do. It's okay to do something that no one else has done in your life, in your family before that you haven't seen before. I know it sounds weird and scary. But umm if if I could if I could take anything out of this episode that it's like sitting with me as I talk to you, I really do think umm that you'll get that out of it. So whether or not you're interested in nutrition information or what the hell a Murph is, which you're gonna find out. There are some awesome, awesome gems in here and Launa is ... you're you are going to laugh out loud. I seriously can't wait for Brad to listen to this episode. And pull out some of the quote cards because I don't know that we have enough days in a week to put all of her quote ... quotes on a card they're just so good. We'll have to save them for a round up of awesome quotes (Lesley laughs) for a holiday episode or some like that. So anyways, I'm gonna stop talking so that I can bring on Launa McClung right after this message.

Lesley Logan 3:01  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 3:46  

Welcome back to the podcast. Be It Till You See It listeners, oh my gosh. Okay, so this woman I, it's really funny. My husband was in a mastermind that I made him sign up for because I was too busy. (Launa laughs) And somehow and that he ended up in a different mastermind and he would just leave a sound on and I would hear this girl and this other girl who's also on the podcast, Amber Shaw, chatting away about clubhouse and all the things and I just wanted to be in on the conversation so badly. Have you ever heard I mean like if you're listening I'm sure you've like been at a coffee shop and you hear like, "I know things. I can talk with this. (Launa laughs) These people are awesome." Anyways, I never got to until, till I kicked him out of his mastermind and I joined myself and day one met this woman in... were we in Austin, Launa? (Launa: Yeah.) Austin? Yeah. And we had just so much fun. So Launa McClung, thank you so much for being here. You are a guest today. You are such an amazing force and I can't wait to share with our listeners. Can you tell everyone a little bit who you are? What you're rockin' these days?

Launa McClung 4:47  

Yeah. Well, thanks for having me. My name is Launa. I am in the Dallas area and I am basically stumbled upon nutrition and fitness coaching through a bunch of trial and error. You name it I've done it from Herbalife to Keto, to Paleo to "don't eat carbs, carbs are bad for you," to "don't eat fat, fat's bad for you," and I thought there was just so much confusion in the space and got so tired of seeing my athletes bust their ass in the gym over and over and over and not seeing any of the results pay off, so I was like, "You know what? I'm gonna find a solution." So fast forward about 10 years and here we are, I'm a flexible nutrition coach that help, that helps people dial in fat loss through counting macros and then learning how to sustainably build a plate to keep the fat loss at bay long after they're done working with me. So, it's about education, action, and implementation and that's how I found Lesley. (Launa and Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 5:49  

Yeah. So that's like I mean I think that's like really wholistic because you know, I definitely am a child who was born in the 80s, so elder-millennial everything was nonfat, every ... (Lesley laughs) and then those 100 calorie packs so that I would just have multiple of ... (Lesley laughs)

Launa McClung 6:07  

Those Chips Ahoy little cookies?

Lesley Logan 6:08  

And what I what I love that you share there is like there was just so much information out there that's like about restriction, restriction, don't have, don't have, keep it away from yourself. And what what I have come to learn and hanging out with a bunch of trainers and nutritionists I was like, "(A) what a macro is and (B) that it's about having all the macros represented on your plate" (Lesley laughs). (Launa: Right). And so it's really freeing and I and I really want to make sure our listeners hear that because I do think that one of the things that hold us back from showing up fully in life is the amount of brain space we give to what we can't have. (Launa: Yes ...) So, how do you how how did that help like affect you like all the things you did like no carbs and then no fat and all these things like, what was going on in your life when you were like, "I'm restricted from these things," were you like, did you feel happy? Or did it feel like free and like what was that?

Launa McClung 6:56  

No way dude. I was miserable because you think about like all of the information on a daily that we take in and write between social media, the TV, like if I have to watch one more news special with us nutrition coach come on and tell you this new fad diet like I mean, it's exhausting. And for me personally, I got to the point where carbs are bad, don't eat carbs, fat is bad, don't eat fat, eat salads they're healthy and then at the end of the day, you're just so frustrated and exhausted that you honestly just say fuck it, excuse my French ...

Lesley Logan 7:32  

 No, you can speak and you can say it. (Lesley laughs)

Launa McClung 7:34  

Oh, I was like I don't know if I need to edit um, but just totally binge because you're so tired you have so much information coming in. And then the next day you feel guilt, shame, you attach your self worth to something as simple as putting food in your mouth and then you make a sweeping declaration to overhaul your life and it's like extremes... the pendulum swinging from one way to another and life isn't lived like that like a pandemic may or may not happen like you may get locked in quarantine with a bunch of Cheez-its and stuff like that. So, I think the extremes from, "I can't have this. I can't have this," like I mean think of any 13 year old girl, right? When you were growing up like boy crazy and your parents are like, "Don't date him!" you're gonna be like, "Babe. Hold up..." (Lesley laughs) And so giving yourself the freedom through exposing yourself in moderation to foods so that the diet industry, whatever week you're tuning in on as deemed bad or taboo, and allowing yourself to be able to trust yourself in those situations. And actually taking a step back and being like, "Alright, cool. Am I eating out of habit? Am I satisfied? Like what's going on with me?" Because I think the more that we take in information, and we're consistently looking outside of ourselves, our inner voice and like, intuition almost gets muted. And that's a miserable place to live. And I think ...

Lesley Logan 9:06  

100%. Oh my God, there's so much good stuff in here. I'm sorry. I like I just (Launa: No you're good) you are you are you are correct. Like we love you. Like whatever day you tune in it's like, such a it's like it's true. You could like switch from different topics. And they're like all saying different things. It's like, "What am I supposed to do?" So what do you what would you tell someone to be asking for themselves? Because you said some things on there that I think are really like, "Am I satisfied?" Like how often are we actually asking ourselves that at any part of our life? Like, "Am I satisfied?" So what are some of those questions that you ask or you have your clients ask that helps them get to listen to themselves and like maybe hear what their body wants?

Launa McClung 9:48  

Yeah, um, so I really think it's important. I mean, whether it's like, like humans live their lives on automation. Like if you think about how many times throughout the day, you're just an autopilot. Look like, "Okay, cool, wake up, I'm going to go get the coffee, I got to take the dog out. I know it's time to eat, but oh shit, I got busy. And now it's 11am and I haven't eaten and everything like that." So the first thing I have my clients do is to get out of the automation mode, right? Because whenever you're just putting your head down, and you're on autopilot, like, there's no other sensory type of info that can come in. And so one of the things I have them do is totally detached from screens whenever they're eating, that allows a little bit of quiet, a little bit of stillness. And it doesn't have to be like, I mean, we we live in America, not like a third world country, right? Like, you don't have to hurry up and eat your food before somebody else eats it. (Lesley: Right) And, so I just tell my clients to slow down, eat and assess like, "Alright, cool." We did a lot of this during quarantine last year, when everything shut down, like one of my loves of my life is Cheez-Its. And I'm like, "Alright, cool" (Lesley laughs) you know, I'm not gonna sit on the couch with a whole box and just mindlessly eat as I watch

 90 Day Fiancé, or whatever's on TV, you know what I mean? I'm gonna pour a little bit step away, eat, asked myself, "Am I satisfied?" If the answer's "No," cool, let me go but get a little bit more. If the answer is "Yes," then I don't need any more. And then I just built trust with myself. And so doing those little things in the comfort of your own home, give your like, it gives you the freedom and the empowerment so that when you're in social situations, you don't have to be fearful around food, because eating something you're going to do for the rest of your life. (Lesley: Right) And so I think, in the comfort of your own home, being able to get clinical with it and be like, "Alright, cool. Am I eating because I'm starving? Am I dehydrated?" and trying to pay attention to all of these cues as to why your fork keeps coming to your mouth, or why you're going back for a second or third, maybe it's an emotional thing. Maybe it's a habitual thing. Maybe you're just totally shut out. And you're doing it well. Like, like I said, like out of habit. And so having little tips and tricks and being able to identify like, "Hey, boyfriend just pissed me off, I want to go take a bath with a full chocolate cake," or whatever it is, and being able to identify those things ... (Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 12:22  

I wish I had a chocolate cake when I got dumped, that one (Lesley laughs) and a bathtub, that would have been way better than what I did. (Lesley laughs) (Launa: It's a whole new low, you know what I mean?) Yeah, you know, I like that you mentioned taking the screens away because I do think again, that's just more input from outside of us, like distracting our brain and like not letting us pay attention what we're doing. I am I have a book on the dining room table now so that when I sit down for breakfast, and I sit down for lunch, I just pick it up and read instead of like, looking at my social media and commenting back people it's like, "No, this is my pause time." (Launa: Yeah) And it's actually really great because I have some habit habits like with the way I eat and of course I'm just like, I love sugar. I think it's just like, my sto... my gut's like, "Ooh, you can bring us more of that." Anyways, I but I do I remember a nutritionist saying like, "The primary foods are actually like play, rest." There's a couple others in there that are like stutter like self care. It's like all these things before you eat. Like, if I'm craving sugar, "Did I get him play?" Like, "Did I go out and do anything? Did I get on a swing? Did I do ... Am I tired?" Like sometimes we're ... eating because we're tired. And I think really paying attention to our body's means really makes us be more present. And that will be a domino effect, not just with what you're eating, but also like how you work out. So you also you you're a CrossFit coach. What ... So, first of all that that scares the hell out of me. (Lesley and Launa laughs) So what, what, how did that how did that even happen? Like, what made you go and try it out? Like, what was the impetus for that?

Launa McClung 14:03  

Oh, gosh, you know, I think about it. So, I had friends that for lack of a better term, like drank the Kool-Aid and they're like, "Launa you should try it." And I'm like, like, you know, how if you know nothing about the science or whatever, and you're just kind of fearful of it and you're coming from a place of fear, like, you're automatically going to talk shit. And so I was like, "No, I don't want to get bulky. I don't want to look like a dude." And I'm like, like, in retrospect, I'm like, that's so hard and take so many years. So, I was like, "No, no, no." And then I was a collegiate volleyball player. So, I have that competitive like, need and me and so I really just got talked into going to a class and I fell in love. I was like, "Oh my God," like it's me versus me, I can go to a class and like, as an entrepreneur, it's really hard. Sometimes to like, I mean, you're creating programs, you're creating different offers, you're creating landing pages, and it's so much creative capacity that sometimes you just need to be told what to do. (Lesley: Yeah) And I ... (Lesley: Oh yeah that's why I go to gym.) Yeah, if I pull into the parking lot, and I have my friends like talking shit to me, like, "Hey, you missed your workout. Where are you?" I know that in an hour, I'm going to get a warm up, I'm going to get some lifting in and I'm going to get my ass kicked. And I'm going to have a cooldown along with some mobility tools. And then an hour it's done, I can shut my brain off. And, so I really liked that aspect of it, being told what to do. (Lesley: Yeah) And the community with it was great. I mean, you're not dying on the floor by yourself. There's like 10 other bodies ... (Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 15:49  

Yeah and no, I ... that's how I got into Pilates. I my friend invited me and I'm like, again, totally knocked it and dissed it. I'm like, "That's that infomercial BS. It's not... and it can't do all the things it says it's gonna do." But then I like went to a class and I fell in love with it. And it's true. It's like, I was like, "Oh, I get a full body workout," I get a little bit of burn, but the soreness isn't there the next day, cuz I only did 10 reps or less. (Lesley laughs) You know, (Launa: Yeah) so like, I can be told what to do, I can work my whole self out, and I feel taller and stronger. And, and, and there's something to that, but I it's so funny how, like, we diss what we, our body actually needs like, we're like, "No, I'm gonna reject that I actually," (Lesley laughs)

Launa McClung 16:30  

Yeah. And I mean, I'll be totally honest, like, I'm 32. So the older I get like, the more I realize, like, it's not fitting for me to be productive, and to show up for my clients and in my business if I spend 40 minutes after a workout laying on the floor, wanting to crawl back into my mother's womb, like that takes a lot out of your central nervous system (Lesley laughs) It takes a lot out of your brain function and everything like that. So, so it's important, just as like someone in the nutrition and fitness space to be able to recognize that and like, "Alright, cool. Maybe I won't do a metcon and want to meet my maker today. Like maybe I need to conserve some of my energy for X, Y, and Z." And I think energy management is huge, especially as we get older, whether it comes to fitness, nutrition, professional aspects, everything like that. And so again, it comes back to the self auditing and really prioritizing, "Alright, cool. What needs to get done today? What can I do today?" Maybe it doesn't look like a full production of a hero workout, or doing Murph, or whatever it is, but I know I need to get some movement in so I don't sit on my couch and get balls-deep in a box of Cheez-Its. It's like, what, what needs ...

Lesley Logan 17:45  

What's the balance there?

Launa McClung 17:48  

Where does my energy need go? So, I work with my clients a lot, whether it's fitness or nutrition, on setting boundaries, respecting them. And so that way you have the space throughout the day for the things that you need to do.

Lesley Logan 18:00  

So, I love that two things. Oh, three, actually. One, don't don't let me forget about your boundaries. But the thing is, can you tell people what Murph is because I just heard what Murph is from you. And it's kind of crazy, and there's part of me that's super competitive and wants to do it. So, (Launa: Yeah) tell people what Murph is so that they're like me going, "Huh? Maybe?" ... (Lesley laughs)

Launa McClung 18:24  

Okay. So Murph, is the cool thing about CrossFit is it's a global fitness ideology, right? It's the only type of fitness that is scientifically backed as far as power output with a formula. Um, and so you could go, you could go to, I was gonna say Afghanistan, but no, um, you can go to China tomorrow and drop into a CrossFit gym and be like, "Hey, what's your Murph time?" so it's the signature hero workouts that are an honor a fallen service members. The CrossFit community does it every Memorial Day. So, it's an honor of this crazy dude who came up with this workout and lost his life in the line of action. So, it's a tribute workout. But it's four time, it starts off with a mile run, then you do 100 pull ups, 200 push ups, 300 air squats, and then finish with a mile run. And your goal or your score is four time and the prescribed diversion for men is to do it in a 20 pound weight vest and for women to do it on 14 pounds. Um ...

Lesley Logan 18:24  

Oh my God, I was just thinking about doing it. And just in general with a Thera band (Launa: Yeah) for the pull up situation and like (Launa: Yeah) I was like, "How can I make this work for me?" and now you're just like, "You got to put a weight vest on" and I'm like, "Wow" ...

Launa McClung 19:27  

So there's a bunch of different modifications for new people obviously, like I mean, not high volume reps. And if you're not conditioned to do that volume, people will do a half Murph for maybe like a partner Murph and partition the reps...

Lesley Logan 19:54  

Oh, so fun. We could ... I would partner Murph, my dad (Launa: Yeah) and I are doing partner workouts and it's fun. He takes a (Launa: Yeah) break ... I got break. (Lesley laughs)

Launa McClung 20:02  

... Instead of all the pull ups, you could do ring rows, I mean any type of pulling motion for lat activation, things like that. A lot of people break up the meat and bones of the workout as far as the 100, 200, 300 into like 20 rounds of 5 10 15. So you can partition the reps however you want. It's more so this is like the old crossfitter and mean, but I like to think of it as ... part... of completion grade, like you can partition it however you want. The goal is to just get it done, it's not about you, or the pain, you're gonna feel, which you will probably be sore for two to three days after. But it's it's a cool type of community workout that everyone does.

Lesley Logan 20:44  

Super cool. Okay, so I love that you said you're 32 and as I get older, because I definitely got the eyes rolled when I would do that and at 38. (Lesley laughs) Um, I have been really interested in just really paying attention to my body and one of our guests, Jenn Pike, y'all can check out on the episodes that was she was talking about like, "Cyclical awareness and the days we can go harder." And so she turned me on to this app. And it actually syncs your workouts with your cycle. So when I open up the app in the morning, it tells me, "You can go higher intensity for these next seven days," or it's like, "Oh, for the next three days, low intensity or focus on precision" and so (A) I can do Pilates everyday which is super fun because I can just go harder or I can or I cannot which is really lovely but it lets me know like, "Oh you know maybe today I sounds like a go harder." I'll hit the peloton and all do this harder amrap or whatever workout maybe I'll do a Murph if it lines up with my cycle. And then on these other days, like, "You know, it's okay if I just go for a dog walk" like that's my body is saying that's okay. So, I highly recommend that. So, I want to go back to boundaries. I think this is where people totally screw up Being It Till They See It because they do not have boundaries. They don't enforce them and so they have high hopes for themselves. They get listened to a podcast like this. They're like, "Yes, boundaries," or some sort of inspiration and then that life happens. So, what are your, how do people? How do you get people to like, put a boundary in place and then keep it? Like, what are your tips there?

Launa McClung 22:18  

Hmm. To be totally honest, I struggled with this for the longest time. I totally forgot what my enneagram or whatever that is ...

Lesley Logan 22:27  

No, I haven't done that. I keep thinking I'm going to do that. And it's like, I'll probably forget what it is. It's like, I don't even remember my sign. So it's okay. (Lesley laughs)

Launa McClung 22:33  

I was like a seven. I don't know, anyway, I'll tell you about myself. I'm a giver, and I get energy from pouring in other people. And, I found myself over the past 15 years, like basically, my whole adult life is I would give and give and give and give and then be too exhausted to get shit done, then I would feel a lot of guilt and shame and just want to sleep all day. And it wasn't until I hired my first coach, business coach that she was like, "Look, you have to have time for you." And so I think with me, initially setting boundaries, it felt really sticky. And I felt like a selfish bitch. And I just I felt guilty for it. Because like, "Oh, well why can't I answer a DM?" Like, "Why can't, I console my friend at Monday at two o'clock when she needs me," but it's like, "Okay, well what do I need?" And whether it's fitness nutrition, professional, with your spouse, whatever, if you don't have those boundaries and those schedule like, "Hey, this is Me time," so that you can take care of yourself, you're going to show up for other people's a half assed version of yourself. I always tell my clients like, "Make sure you're good and you can use your whole ass and whatever you do, because if you just exhaust yourself, your kids are gonna get a quarter-ass version, your spouse is going to get another quarter-ass, your job is going to get another quarter-ass and now you're feeling like shit because everyone's pissed off at you. You're about to lose your job. And now you have nothing left." (Lesley: Yeah) Um, maybe that's a little extreme. But ...

Lesley Logan 24:09  

Ish, and no, like, I think that that's definitely a spiral that has happened to many people or many listeners, you know, they know something that's happened to and it's like, "Yeah, you know, so that that will that could be you," like, ... you know, it's kind of like when the spiral happens it's really wide and so it doesn't feel like it's a big deal. It's like, "Oh, I'm good" because it's like you know you're on the bigger ring. But then as it goes down, it's faster and it gains more momentum. And so the the slippery slope is pretty huge there.

Launa McClung 24:19  

Yeah. And then like for me, whenever I found myself in like the really small slippery slope, it would manifest in my body is sickness, like ex... total exhaustion, zero sex drive, irritability, like having... being pissed off because I have to go to the grocery store to spend so much money on medication like just laid out for 48 hours, when really, if I just paid attention and set boundaries to those warning signs my body was giving, I wouldn't be in this position, you know, and I think just being able to kind of audit and recognize your tendencies and then playing to your strengths of like, "Alright, cool. Maybe I'll set a timer." And that's one of the things that I give all of my clients, at some point in the duration of working together ... I give them selfish homework for a week, like one thing a day, whether it's, you go get a manicure, you drive home, you get home and you sit in your car for dead silence for 15 minutes. I don't care what anyone says. That is a whole vibe in and of itself. I even had one client that locked herself in the bath... bathroom, told her kids, she was taking a shit and drew a bubble bath and just chilled out. (Lesley laughs) And I think it's really important because whenever we're chronically stressed, again, that goes back to showing up half-assed and other aspects of your life.

Lesley Logan 25:59  

Oh, 100%. I have a friend who would like DM me from the bathroom. She's like, "I've got a glass of wine and a chocolate bar, and I'm just sitting on the toilet seat and I'm just ..." (Lesley laughs) (Launa: I know) Like, "I'm not going to the bathroom, don't worry, but my kids won't bother me if I'm in here." (Lesley and Launa laughs)

Launa McClung 26:14  

Yeah. Yeah and I mean, boundaries.

Lesley Logan 26:17  

Yeah. Yeah. So so I guess like when you were first putting these boundaries in place, like finally starting to do it? What was like the first boundary, you know, because like you can just go, "Okay, I'm gonna put a boundary here here." You can just go all in like it's you gotta like, you know, baby step it, so like, what was the first boundary put in place and how did you like, how did you help yourself enforce it?

Launa McClung 26:40  

I think the first as an entrepreneur, like speaking of screen times, we live off of our phones, and it's our job to be accessible to our clients to interact with people, connection is our MO. (Lesley: Yeah) And so for me, the first thing, I was like, "Alright, how can I reverse engineer this?" And so it was, "Okay, well, if I was working at the doctor's office, or wherever, I'd work a nine to five." And so when it's couch time, and you're like sitting with your spouse, you know, it's really easy to just respond to this and respond to that. So, I tell my clients Monday through Friday, nine to five, they get me in Voxer, and everything like that, if it's the weekend, I have to have a weekends, too. And so the first thing I did to kind of reinforce that any nutrition audit or discovery calls that I did with potential clients, I was like, "Hey, you have voxer access to me Monday through Friday, nine to five." So they knew what the deal was whenever they came in. And the more I started saying that, the more I was like, "Hey, Launa." Like, "Remember Launa? This is your boundary, like you said it" and so ...

Lesley Logan 27:52  

That's Be It Till You See It right there. (Launa laughs) You're like, "Okay, these are my hours." I'm gonna tell them "these are my hours" and every time I (Launa: Yeah) tell them "these are my hours." I am literally like, look like put another little level on my boundary wall (Lesley laughs) (Launa: Yeah) around me. I love that.

Launa McClung 28:09  

Yeah, and so one of the things I do is whenever I'm out, like whenever working hours are done, I turned my phone off of ring. So, if I get a notification it doesn't annoy me. And a lot of the times Brandi makes fun of me, my girlfriend makes fun of me all of the time because I'm like, "Where's my phone?" On nights and weekends, I'm like, "Where'd it go? Oh God, where's my phone? (Lesley laughs) I gotta I gotta do this" and she's like, "Huh?" Or like even my friends know like, "Hey, Launa is not working." And I think it's for people in our space it's weird because a lot of people's downtime is their phone. And for us that's work time and so my friends know that you know like when we're like this weekend we're going to the pool and hanging out like, "Launa is not playing music from her phone. She's not ordering the doordash like it's (Lesley: Yeah) good luck finding it" and so for me I would kind of have to hide it from myself until I got comfortable in like, "Hey, this doesn't have to be done right this instant world is not gonna end if I don't respond in five minutes" like, "I'm important but I'm not that important" like ...

Lesley Logan 29:18  

Right, we're not the president they tell, "It's gonna be okay. It's just gonna be okay" ... I wouldn't know if anyone knows this. I know that there's apps that like turn off like social media on your computer for a certain time but I actually want certain apps to turn on and off. So like, you know like my messenger on Facebook. I would love for that to turn off on my days off. I would ... you know like because I'm you know, I it's you're so right, like connection is our currency basically, it's absolutely what I market to every ... OPC it's like you get connection and community I'm in there, but (Launa: Yeah) I can't be in there every day. And that community is in Facebook, which is also where my mom wants to apparently like, she likes to tag me and things I was like ... "I love you mom but if you could text me because I don't want to be on social media on the weekend," (Lesley laughs) (Launa: Yeah) you know, so um I guess I wish there was like an app that we could like you know just plug in our schedule like these are the times you can send me notifications on these days. (Lesley laughs) Right?

Launa McClung 29:24  

I know. Maybe like I mean, if anybody's listening to this and has that creative genius to create that ...

Lesley Logan 30:24  

Yeah. I think there's money in that.

Launa McClung 30:26  

Lesley Logan and Laura McClung, we came up with that...

Lesley Logan 30:28  

Yeah, yeah, we'll be we'll be affiliates for that. And (Launa: Yeah) I mean, there's just a lot of a lot of everyone's make, using their phone for money now and I think that that is going to be a thing that people are gonna have to do. This is um, I just really think this is a lot of fun because, basically, you know, it's whether or not anybody wants to pay attention to their nutrition or their workouts, whatever your thing is, like the what I love that you've been saying this whole time is like, really, is paying attention to what you need first. Giving yourself that thing protecting that so that you can do all these other things that you want to do" and I think that's really really cool. Okay, so obviously everyone's obsessed you have some really fun little (Launa laughs) jokes in there. I really "meet your maker" might be my the first time that's ever happened on this podcast. Where can people (Launa: You're welcome) (Lesley laughs) where can people find you, follow you, connect with you?

Launa McClung 31:21  

Um, so on Instagram, my handle is Launa @launajae_, Facebook is Launa Jae. You can slide into my DM, snapchats Launa Jae basically Launa Jae, anything. Um ...

Lesley Logan 31:37  

Yeah. And she will respond to you between Monday and Friday, nine to five. (Lesley laughs)

Launa McClung 31:41  

Exactly. And if it's on the weekends, forget about it. (Launa laughs)

Lesley Logan 31:44  

Yeah, we will make sure we have all of that in the show notes below. Because y'all are gonna screenshot this, you're going to tag us and you're going to share your takeaway, not just because it like gets the podcast out, which it does. And thank you for doing that. But also, you know, for people like Launa and I, it's really we want to know what resonates with you, we want to know what's like hitting it where you know, like, like, "Oh, yes, that," because that helps us create more things that you want. Like that's just what we do. So, everyone follow screenshot tag and let us know what your takeaway is. Okay. I ask every guest this, "What are your tips for being it till they see it? Like, what are some quick tips, hot tips, you know, as many as you want that help people prioritize themselves.

Launa McClung 32:31  

I think the first one is, you're going to feel fear no matter what it is. Um, so I would say "Fuck the fear, do it anyway," you're never going to feel ready, you're never gonna feel like the conditions are perfect. But if you don't take action, you're going to be in the exact same spot 1, 2, 3, 10 years from now. So ...

Lesley Logan 32:54  

Yes, I love all of that. And I think we just came up with three shirts. (Lesley laughs)

Launa McClung 33:01  

I can't wait to wear it in LA. The second one as far as be it till you see it. Um, I would say kind of this is probably like a sub point from number one. But I think um, you have 100% survival rate of every situation, everything scary, everything big that you've ever been in. So, if you can count on one person in the entire world, to put your best interest in, like, front and foremost it's you. So, if you've survived everything you've ever been through, you will survive this too. And, so if it's up to you, you got really good odds. So, I would just remind yourself of that it even if you feel like an imposter, even if you're like, "Oh, I don't know if I can do it." That's just playing small and trying to hold you back. So just know you got 100% ... (Lesley: I'm inspired) (Lesley laughs) ... I needed to hear myself talk yesterday. (Launa and Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 34:05  

I've been there. I'm like, "Wow, listen to me. I should have (Launa: Wow) I should have said that to myself yesterday." (Launa: Did you hear that? I hope you do ...) I mean, I think we all ... are we all just like saying the things that we need to hear the most, you know, like (Lesley laughs) 

Launa McClung 34:19  

Probably. (Lesley: Yeah) And I'm like ... and then the third thing I think for me personally, especially the past year and a half with everything going on, is reaching out and connecting with people who are going through the same shit as you. If it wasn't for you, Lesley, Brad, Amber, Casey Jo, like, I would be a mental case right now and then obviously my coach. So, if you feel like you're unequipped to do something on your own, find someone that you trust that you connect with that can help you through the trenches that's been there before, whether it's a friend, a colleague, a coach, um, and really just relying on that because you're all gonna have shitty days. Like we're all gonna go back to like crazy emotional women one time a month maybe two or three and I think it's really important to have that community like I said like with CrossFit or with Pilates what got us to the class was being invited and having someone else there with you. And I think that's really important for sustainability and consistency whether it's fitness nutrition, entrepreneurship, anything.

Lesley Logan 35:27  

I freakin' love that. I do I we were, y'all when you're listening to this it's not the same day though we've ... (Launa laughs) we're recording this, just though that you know these things happen in the ... in the past for me and but I I couldn't sleep this last evening, like last night. So, I woke up and I must have woken up at like a REM like, because I was I was wide awake and cannot go back to sleep. And I did my sunset simulation lamp again, didn't work. I did my sleepy time music didn't work. I put on my McConna... McConaughey bedtime story. He could not put me to sleep, I listened to the whole thing. And then it was creating more and more anxiety. So actually just got up at like, 2:30 I was like, "Let's just get up. We'll work and if we ... when we get tired, we'll go and take a nap." Right? And you were up texting me and I was walking like at 5am so two and a half hours later, I was walking my dogs and my dad's like, "Why are you taking a picture?" and I'm like, "I'm showing this girl, (Launa laughs) what time it is here." But what the point of the story is like, currently we're both going through the same thing in our business and as many of our friends are, and it's so important to have those people who are going through that because I was telling my dad what I was having to go through right before I was texting you. I was telling him everything he's like, "Oh yeah, but you'll do fine. You'll just do fine. Hey, look at this. Oh, did you hear about ... like all these things like on the sports," and I'm like, "Oh, okay, got it." So it's just another there's another blip on the radar. Not, not that he doesn't care he just doesn't understand (Launa: Yeah) it as a different thing than just any other day. And so you have to find people who are going through it, going through what you're going through so you can be like, "Oh my God, I have a launch going on." And I go, "Oh, when's your date start like that." (Launa: Yeah) So they know what all that entails or whatever it is, whatever your thing is, and so I love that one so much. I can't wait to hear what Brad's takeaways are. Y'all, as you know, we recap every episode so definitely stay tuned because it's really fun for me to hear what Brad's favorite one ... (Launa and Lesley laughs)

Launa McClung 37:29  

I cannot wait.

Lesley Logan 37:30  

Oh yeah, he has to listen to all of these. (Lesley laughs) And and then we and we talk about it. So it'll be really fun. I if you want to guess what it is we'll, maybe, make it a competition. Launa, thank you for being a guest this week. Everyone, thank you for being a listener. We are rising up the ranks because of you. So keep the reviews and shares coming. Tell your friends to listen, it's super, super important that's like literally the best thing to do for a podcast is rate, review, and share it. Like basically that's your currency for us, and helps us add value to other people. So thank you so much. And until next time, be it till you see it. 

Lesley Logan 38:04  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan 38:32  

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell 38:36  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 38:44  

Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell 38:49  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 38:58  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell 39:09  

And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Brad & Lesley pull out some of Damari's golden nuggets from our last episode's interview with her, digging into how finances should serve as an affirmation, not a trigger - especially when we allow debt to define us. Debt can be debilitating, managing our credit score is so complicated, we don't walk around with little debt chat bubbles, and more.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Lesley's love language

• Black Friday Cyber Monday deals... links below

• When you focus on something, things happen

• Why Lesley picked an S Corp for her business

• Damari's last name is a Be It moment

• How do we choose our titles as entrepreneurs?

• We allow debt to define us

• Your credit score is based on how you manage debt

• We don't have debt chat bubbles...

• Finances should serve as an affirmation, not a trigger

Black Friday/Cyber Monday Deals:

• Be It Pod Merch https://lesleylogan.co/boutique

• Online Pilates Classes https://onlinepilatesclasses.com

• Fitness Business Courses https://profitablepilates.com

Episode References/Links

• Damari's website https://www.damarigold.com/

• The Messy Middle: Finding Your Way Through the Hardest and Most Crucial Part of Any Bold Venture by Scott Belsky https://amzn.to/3DR8ql7

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:01  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:45  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the rich convo I had with Damari Gold in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now, go back, listen to that one and then come back and join us. You know ... I don't even know how people are listening to these in which order but I am seeing all the different loves you have episode 34, made someone laugh out loud many times that makes me happy. (Lesley laughs) So you know, whichever order ...

Brad Crowell 1:18  

34 with Jessica Burgio that's a recap.

Lesley Logan 1:20  

... I know, I know the evens are recaps, so here we are. So y'all, Happy Thanksgiving for those ... (Brad: Happy Thanksgiving.) If you're listening to this, then right now whether it's Thanksgiving for you or not, I'm just so grateful for you. I know I said it last week in Episode 50. (Brad: What?) But I really am and it was really fun to celebrate the 50th episode because I got to see a lot more love for the pod and I'm just words of affirmation is my love language. So thank you so much, but because it is Thanksgiving. (Brrr brrr brrrrr)

Brad Crowell 1:57  

What is that mean?

Lesley Logan 1:58  

Oh, it's like a little like, drumroll. (Lesley table drumming)

Brad Crowell 2:00  

Oh, I thought you're trying to be Cardi B for a second. (Brad and Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 2:05  

That's Cardi B. (Brad: Yeah) Cardi B is a little one. A drumroll is longer. (Brrrrrrrr)

Lesley Logan 2:09  

Gotcha. Yeah. (Lesley: I have no idea. That's why I ...) Exciting news. And if you're on our email list, you already are aware (Lesley: Things are on sale.) Starting on Friday the 29th, so the day after Thanksgiving. (Lesley: Yeah, we ...) For only four days we're just gonna do Friday, Saturday Sunday, Monday closes Monday night.

Lesley Logan 2:26  

We are doing, if you're watching it on YouTube and you just saw everything shake, Gaia is really weird today. Ah ...

Brad Crowell 2:35  

She threw herself into the table. (Brad laughs)

Lesley Logan 2:37  

I know she also, y'all she loves plastic bottles and today she decided that a can in the trashcan was a plastic bottle. So I do think her eyesight is going ... (Brad: Oh geez.) But anyways, let's go back to these deals. (Brad: Yes.) Um, so on our sites, check out the notes below. We have different amazing deals for different things. So (Brad: Yes) for our Pilates teacher ...

Brad Crowell 2:55  

We're bringing Las Vegas possible.

Lesley Logan 2:57  

Yeah. Well, here we go. Well specifics, if you're a teacher hit a Profitable Pilates because good shit is happening with the courses, (Brad: Yeah) you're welcome. (Brad: Yeah) You are welcome. This is the best sale I've ever done on those courses. I don't want to hear it. Just go by them, have fun. I want you to change your business. (Brad: Yeah.) If you are Pilates levah, there's some workshops and some legacy stuff. So get your ass over there and ...

Brad Crowell 3:24  

At onlinepilatesclasses.com ... Yes

Lesley Logan 3:25  

And then over at lesleylogan.co

Lesley Logan 3:29  

Yeah. We got BE IT pod merch.

Lesley Logan 3:31  

Cuz you know what? You should dress up like me. (Lesley laughs) Also ...

Brad Crowell 3:35  

And it's on sale right now, (Lesley: It's on sale.) for tomorrow til 29th.

Lesley Logan 3:39  

It's on sale. And here's the thing. We are old school, elder millennials. I'm so sorry. I do not like that the sales are starting earlier and earlier every year. No ...

Brad Crowell 3:48  

Yeah, I'm with you (Lesley: I'm in protest ...) in being against to that.

Lesley Logan 3:51  

I'm in protest. And so this is how I'm showing my protest.

Lesley Logan 3:54  

It's not Black Friday, Cyber Monday month. (Lesley: No) It's Blackfri-day, Cybermon-day. (Brad laughs)

Lesley Logan 4:00  

Yeah. And just and then what the days in between where, you know, those are your ... (Brad: We are giving you the weekend.) Those are your bonuses. Now, I don't want to hear it when I start celebrating my birthday month. That is true. (Brad laughs) That is real. But it doesn't mean tons of sales in your inbox every frickin' day. So go, go ... go stock up and all the things that make your life better because I'm really excited about it and ... (Brad: Heck yea) Happy Thanksgiving. Okay.

Brad Crowell 4:28  

All right.

Lesley Logan 4:29  

So, we, instead of an audience question this week, I actually wanted to share a couple things. I was just doing a coaching call with one of our agency members and she had listened to the episode with Dr. Bender. And when Dr. Bender shared that she umm she has like physical things around for like, just by bringing in the things she wanted. So for example, she wanted money to be around her always ...

Lesley Logan 5:02  

This is episode 41 with (Lesley: Yeah) Dr. Kelly Bender.

Lesley Logan 5:05  

So, listen to this. So this is episode 52? (Brad: Yeah.) Okay. So 11 episodes ago, my client listened to the BE IT item from Dr. Bender. And she all... she did what Dr. Bender did. So Dr. Bender had put two $100 bills on a table in her house with a crystal and amethyst crystal on it. And like, you know, she's like, "... Money is around me, flows to me easily." And this client was like, "Okay, I'm going to do it." So she's like, "How much money should I put there?" So she is like, "I'm gonna put the same amount of money as a new client package." So she put three $100 bills in her desk drawer. And she's like, "I don't have any crystals but I had this rock, and I have a bracelet of other crystals. And my mom would collect these like half dollars. And so I put that on there." And she's like, "I've had four new clients for in 11 episodes." That's like three weeks. (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 6:02  

Like six weeks. Yeah. (Lesley: Oh) Five and a half weeks.

Lesley Logan 6:05  

Five ... whatever. That's still a new client a week, basically.

Brad Crowell 6:08  

Oh, it's amazing.

Lesley Logan 6:09  

It's amazing.

Brad Crowell 6:09  

I'm not taking away from her (Lesely: So ...) for her achievement at all. I think it's really amazing.

Lesley Logan 6:13  

So y'all, um, I'm not answering questions, because I'm just sell... to I just want to share with you if you do these BE IT action items. Life is like happening for you.

Lesley Logan 6:24  

Yeah, I just, I just kind of need to comment because I'm not like, like the overly "woowoo." But I would guess that your client opened the drawer and saw that in there. And it was a consistent reminder. And that kept bringing the idea of getting new clients to the top of her mind. And that's why because she's focused on it brings it you know, you're doing it, (Lesley: Yeah) you're, you're you're going after your you know, you're actually focusing on it. (Lesley: Right) So, (Lesley: Yeah) I absolutely believe that. You know what, when we focus on something things happen. And that's just a real easy physical reminder that you can't miss.

Lesley Logan 7:02  

Yeah, so anyways, next week, maybe we'll answer a question, or maybe we'll share another win... You know, we're gonna call them bold moments. And maybe so either (Brad: It's a bold moment) we're gonna answer question, or we're gonna ans... we're gonna share a bold moment from our BE IT listeners. And that could be you. So share that with me.

Brad Crowell 7:17  

Love that.

Lesley Logan 7:18  

Okay.

Brad Crowell 7:20  

I'm gonna write that down, "Our first bold moment." (Lesley: Okay.) Oh, yeah. (Lesley: Woo)

Lesley Logan 7:27  

I had another one, but it's on I screenshot it and I don't I don't know where it is. But someone DM me a bold moment and I need to find it. And I'll maybe I'll share it next week.

Brad Crowell 7:37  

We'll bring it back.

Lesley Logan 7:38  

... It'll be a segue. You know what, we have a new producer, and that's going to be her job. (Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 7:42  

That's true. We have a producer. We hired a producer. (Lesley: I know.) It was really amazing and exciting. I just spent a bunch of time on zoom with her this morning.

Lesley Logan 7:51  

I like her glasses.

Lesley Logan 7:54  

Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, she she's she's rad. Her name is Amanda. She does, she has no idea that we're talking about her on the pod.

Lesley Logan 8:01  

We have to change our outro.

Brad Crowell 8:03  

Oh, yeah, we got to do all the things. (Lesley: Oh, shoot.) Yeah, no, it's official. (Lesley: Well, she can task us with that) By the time you listen to this, we'll have a new ... (Lesley laughs) maybe we'll have another outro. Well, very soon. (Lesley: Very soon.) Things are gonna change. It's exciting. (Lesley: It's exciting) We're very happy about it. (Lesley: Yeah.) Anyway. (Lesley: Okay.) Okay, now let's talk about the Damari Gold.

Lesley Logan 8:22  

I love it.

Brad Crowell 8:23  

Damari Gold is a tax accountant who left the corporate world to open her beach side firm. Her business and her clients are her life. She hates the way we collectively define success and allow debt to stop us in our tracks. And she works with her clients to battle that mentality, creating space for messy beginnings. I really enjoyed your conversation with her. It's actually a lot of fun. (Lesley: Yeah) She, you know, she's gone to school, started working, got her Masters, was working again, decided she actually didn't like working for people. And that's when she wanted to go start her own thing. And then she said she struggled with starting on a thing because she just didn't pull the trigger. And then like couple years in, she finally did. And now she's out on her own. You know, (Sorry, I almost pulled my headphones off.) (Brad and Lesley laughs) Now she's on her own. And and, you know, doing accounting, and what I what I loved about this conversation was that she's anything but a typical accountant, at least from this conversation that ... (Lesley: Oh my God, she isn't) and it was a lot of fun.

Lesley Logan 9:37  

Or maybe she is and they're all lying to us. (Brad laughs) But like I just loved how honest she was about even her own financial status and life and things like that. (Brad: Sure) Because I think we think of accountants. I mean, your parents are accountants, if I'm not ... (Brad: My dad is) your dad is. (Brad: Yeah) He's like really good with money. (Brad: Yeah. Yes) And so I just think accountants are just like really good with money and like our CPA in California, oh my God, like he scared me. I was like, I, I don't even know, like, he didn't scare me. He's actually so lovely. And he took such good care of us. But like, I'm not even kidding. Like, I ...

Lesley Logan 10:11  

No. His higher level thinking about money. It was like so different than the way that we conceptualize and it was, it was intimidating. I'm not gonna lie. 

Lesley Logan 10:11  

No, no, he called me into his office. And I was like, "I have to go to my CPA's office."

Brad Crowell 10:22  

It's like being sent to the principal.

Lesley Logan 10:23  

I know, he like email me. He's like, "Lesley, we need to have a meeting." I was like, "Oh my God." And he like, sat me down for an hour and explained to me how I couldn't keep doing business the way I was doing business as a sole proprietor. And I needed to choose to be ... he like he's like, "You have to choose. Are you going to be LLC or you're going to be an S Corp?" And it was really funny, because it was like, right before you proposed to me, and he's like, "Well, when your LLC you need to have like these two people. But if your S Corp, you could be you or these other things." And I said, "Well, I think I'm, think I'm going to be an S Corp thing, because it's just me and I'm just dating someone right now. So like, who's gonna be my partner in this?" Ahh! And then you ...

Brad Crowell 11:00  

That's why you pick the S Corp? (Lesley: I know) (Lesley laughs) That's unbelievable.

Lesley Logan 11:05  

He also said that S Corps (Brad laughs) have ahh, gonna have more write offs, because corporations just have more bills. So I was like, "Great."

Brad Crowell 11:13  

I love the logic behind that, that is ... (Lesley laughs) amazing.

Lesley Logan 11:17  

But he said S Corps have, you know, they have more bills. So people like that the auditing is different. And I was like, "Okay, that also sounds less scary. So let's go that way." (Brad and Lesley laughs) Anyways, but I really loved Damari back to the who we are recapping because she, it's like, it's all I felt like if I became an accountant. Right? Like, not that I would, but like, I feel like we have similar personalities and (Brad: Yeah) similar outlooks on life. And so anyways, it's all about me. Right? And she was just fabulous. So anyways,

Lesley Logan 11:50  

That's awesome. Yeah. So so well, actually, so so she had a whole bunch of things that she went through, actually, the conversation flowed pretty well. (Lesley: Thank you) (Lesley laughs) Yeah, I mean, from one story to the next. It just kept rolling. But you had you had one specific thing you're (Lesley: Oh, like ...) very excited about.

Lesley Logan 12:12  

... hands down. Can we just talk about how Be It Till You See It is this? Her name, I thought, gosh, so cool. Her name is Damari Gold. (Dog barks) And she's the Gold Standard Accounting or whatever. And like, you know, I just thought like, "That's amazing." Like, she's so lucky to be named Damari Gold, because then she kept the Gold Standard Accounting or whatever. And so when I asked her, she's like, "Oh, no, I, that's my stage name." (Lesley laughs) I was like, "That is so Be It Till You See It." Like that, y'all like, sometimes you have to name yourself or name your thing, like what you want it to be. And so she did that. And now it's, you know, it's, it's her name, and I freaking love it. So anyways.

Lesley Logan 12:25  

Yeah. That is ... she definitely has a full story about how she came up with it. And it's her favorite color and all these other things. And at the end, she was like, "Well, Gold Standard Accounting. I think I'm just gonna call myself, Damari Gold." (Lesley: Yeah.) And that's what she's doing. (Lesley: Yeah.) So and it flows and it sounds baller.

Lesley Logan 13:15  

It sounds so... it sounds so baller. (Brad: Yeah) I mean, you know ...

Lesley Logan 13:18  

But I think that, you know, let's look at it from the BE IT perspective. We talked about this, I can't remember exactly one. But it was like, way back in the beginning. We talked about right, creating your own title. (Lesley: Oh, yeah.) You know, and how maybe you have been defining yourself as, quote/unquote, "Just a Pilates teacher," you know, (Lesley: Yeah) which I think is a terrible way to define ourselves, because we're not "just" anything. (Lesley: We're not just anything). But let's just say you're a Pilates teacher, what if instead, you were a movement liberator. (Lesley: Ooh) Ooh, you know or ...

Lesley Logan 13:54  

Look at the person pulling out the thesaurus. (Brad and Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 13:57  

You know, or, you know, I think that there is so much creativity that can be had in how we define ourselves. And, you know, before we were obviously talking about, like, the title that we have adopted, but I think it's amazing that she changed her name to fit with the you know, who she is, when she's, you know, working her business. (Lesley: Yeah) I thought that was great.

Lesley Logan 14:22  

100%. Well, speaking of things you love, what did you ... what what is, what did you love?

Lesley Logan 14:28  

Yeah, okay, so this was profound. And (Lesley: Ooh) I knew this was rich. Hmm. (Lesley: Rich) So she, she basically said debt ... We allow debt to define us. We allow debt to stop us. We allow debt to be this big, massive, scary mountain that we can't function when there's debt and we are also sold with this, you know, just the way that our our society works and capitalism and all the things. We're sold this idea that, you know, "Being debt free is the only way to be." (Lesley: Oh my God) You know, and ... (Lesley: Y'all, it's like ...) Here's, here's my, here's my thing. Clearly, being debt free is a positive thing. I'm not saying that it's not. I'm not saying that you should just incurred that you know, like create debt for that sake. No, that's stupid. But what I am saying is that the difference of you being in debt and you being out of debt, actually, it's, it's this weird definition that we have for ourselves. Why would being out, out of debt.... does that make you, like... (Lesley: Doesn't make you a better person)... a freer person? A better person? (Lesley: No.) A better person and better business owner. A better whatever? No, it's just actually it's an accomplishment for sure. I'm not saying that it's not. But I, I don't think that, like, we're gonna have this, this like life changing experience, the day that we finished paying off our debt. It's gonna be a celebration in a moment, (Lesley: Oh, my God) but life is still gonna continue the way that life was.

Lesley Logan 16:05  

Do you remember when I paid off my student loans?

Brad Crowell 16:07  

Yeah, I remember you going, "Oh, shit. (Lesley: I paid them off.) I paid them off."

Lesley Logan 16:11  

There was no freaking glitter, confetti, balloons. 

Lesley Logan 16:15  

Yeah, it was like seven o'clock, I was making dinner.

Lesley Logan 16:17  

I know, I got this email that says, "You pay, you made your last payment." And I was like, "That's it. That's what it feels like." (Brad: That's what it feels like) I was the same person. (Brad: Congratulations, Babe!) Congratulate... but the point is, is like, I literally did not change from before that email to after that email. And ...

Lesley Logan 16:35  

Yeah. The difference was, you had a couple hundred dollars more in your bank account each month (Lesley: Yeah) which, "Hey, that's a win."

Lesley Logan 16:40  

That's a win, but it doesn't... (Brad: It's huge win for sure.) It doesn't define you as a per... human being. And I also just want to say, I don't know how it works in different countries, but here in the States, your credit score is based on how you manage debt. (Brad: Yeah) And so being debt free doesn't actually make you a better person to give a house loan to. (Brad: Right) And so it's a stupid game, and we're all taught like, "Oh, my God, if you have debt, it's not great." And I grew up that way. I grew up in a household where there's a lot of debt, a lot of bill collectors calling, it's a really sucky situation to be in. (Brad: Sure.) And I saw what it did with my parents and what they how they felt about themselves, and how they showed up and how they, they how they felt in their marriage and how they felt as parents. And the reality is, is that like, I don't think I would have had different childhood. Like, the amount of money that was my childhood was not what made my childhood good or bad. The stress of, of how they may debt define them, that ... (Brad: That affect each other) affected me, that affected me, but (Brad: Yeah) like, you know, I didn't, who knows what you have versus what someone else has have. I don't know as a kid. So I'm just saying, I really ...

Lesley Logan 17:48  

It's not until you're in middle school in high school, that you're like, "Oh, they bought the bling jeans and I didn't get to buy the bling jeans." (Lesley: Yeah) But like growing up, I'm the same way my parents were incredibly frugal. And, you know, I mean, my mom would rather take me to the consignment shop and buy, you know, 10 pair of $8 jeans than one pair of $80 jeans. Like that's just the way that I grew up. So totally, I totally understand that. And I think that we allow this, this, like, I think that it becomes like a skeleton in our closet. And it becomes this, like, this, this, like this, this fear that like sits in our gut that like, "Oh, I have debt like if I if I try anything right now I could really like screw us all over because I still have debt" in addition to whatever it is that you want to go do. And I I don't want that for you. That's not reality. (Lesley: No) You know, we do obviously we have bills to pay, we got to, we got to make sure we can meet those, those requirements. But you know, I and I do think that it's important to be paying more than your debt balance. Like if you don't want to pay the minimums (Lesley: Yeah) it's just like a never ending cycle. But if we let no but I think what you said on the last episode, which I loved was it's not like we walk around with a chat bubble hovering over us that says, "Haha. Brad still has school debt because guess what? (Lesley: Right) Brad still does have school debt." You know, and "Brad's gonna have school debt for another 10 years."

Lesley Logan 19:25  

Well, yeah, or I'm just gonna keep praying that they go federal loans go away. But anyway. (Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 20:14  

Right. But but it's but but because ... it sound like I advertise that right. So nobody needs to know that.

Lesley Logan 19:37  

And no one needs to know that but also like, it's a little freeing when you share it because it's like that skeletons out of the closet. But at this, it doesn't change who you are, and unless you let it. So (Brad: Right) if you I see this all the time in the people that I coach in the industry, I see people go, "I don't have enough money. I can't do that. I can't do it." And so then they're like sit in the back of the room or they feel like they can't be part of this group or the join this thing. And it's (Brad: Yeah) like, actually, like, you are an amazing human being already. And yeah, there's and then underneath that you have like, "Amazingness, amazingness, amazingness. Oh, also another thing is that debt." But that doesn't actually define you. It's just another piece of inventory. You also have a couch, you also have a car, you also have a Cadillac like you don't have. It's not like personality trait debt that (Brad: Yeah) doesn't... If you look at pe... personality traits or what makes a good human being, you don't see debt free on that list.

Lesley Logan 20:32  

Yeah. And I do think that, you know, the, you obviously want to be responsible with the debt that you have and the money that you have. But if you go look at businesses, (Lesley: Oh, my God) who are growing and value that millions and billions of dollars, they also carry debt, there is actually part of the game is that, you know, now I'm not saying credit card debt is to your benefit all the time. But you know, there, it's just a different perspective, we've been sold this story that, "You have to be debt free," and that's not necessarily the truth.

Lesley Logan 21:05  

Yeah, I mean, it'd be nice, but it's not going to again, I promise you, when you are debt free, no one is going to show up with confetti and glitter and balloons. There's not gonna be a frickin' party for you. It's gonna feel the exact same. You'll just have more money in your bank account. (Brad laughs) So be the person you want to be, (Brad: Yeah) Till you see the debt, be free. Boom! (Brad: We'll take that.) (Lesley laughs) Okay, well, look, no one's offering (Brad: Yeah) a marketing job over here. It's fine. All right.

Lesley Logan 21:34  

All right, (Lesley: Here we go.) All right. All right. So finally, let's talk about the BE IT action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Damari Gold?

Lesley Logan 21:47  

Oh, well, here it is. Wait

Lesley Logan 21:49  

Yeah. I'm gonna jump ... (Lesley: You're go in first) I'm gonna jump in. (Lesley laughs) I think we swapped ours out here. Um ...

Lesley Logan 21:55  

No, I think we're good. I still, I got mine.

Lesley Logan 21:57  

Okay. So basically, (Lesley laugsh) basically, one thing she said at the very end of the interview was, "To put your vision out there." You know, I think for her, she was speaking from this very personally, because she was talking about how she wanted to do this, start her own business, she wanted to what she didn't, she wanted to want she didn't, it took a couple years. And, and she started to tell her clients or her friends, she started like, kind of on the side, "This is what's gonna happen, this is where it's gonna be, this is how it's gonna be," you know and then again, it's kind of like the money. You know, the crystals in your top drawer, where when you pull open your door to pull out your socks, you see that and you go, "Right? New clients, new clients, new clients." In this case, she's putting the vision out there, because you're (A) creating vulnerability. Right? You're you're making yourself vulnerable to other people, (B) you're consistently reminding yourself and those people are going to be looking at you like, "Is she going to do what she says?" you know, and (Lesley: Yeah) so it helps you stay focused, stay on track to get to where you want to be.

Lesley Logan 23:04  

Well, before we started this podcast, I was telling people, "I'm started a podcast." (Brad: Yeah, for like a year.) Yeah. "I'm started a podcast. I'm started a podcast." And then we recorded for four months before the pod came out. (Brad: Yup) But I started a podcast, but like, (Brad: Oh yeah) put it out there. But um, you know that even our even this house, this house, we knew this was our house, because we put the vision out there. No, maybe we didn't blast it on Instagram. Ve... most people were surprised we moved but like, our coach knew, the people in our group knew, (Brad: Yeah) they we had told them very specifically, we are looking for a house with this many rooms, with this much space, with this much this, it's gonna cost us this much. Put it out there. And then it was like when I when it came across my emails like, "Oh, this is this is a vision." (Brad: That's the one. Yeah) So yeah, I'm big on that, y'all, put it out there. Okay, my biggest takeaway is "Become more aware of how you're being supported with your goal." And I'm going to add a little bit to this, I think because I'm long winded. So first of all, awareness is the first step in everything, okay? And if you are like most human beings, you are very aware of how you're not being supported or how you're not working towards your goal or what you didn't get done. But very, very few, very, very rarely do we acknowledge, like what we did do, what is going well, who is supporting us, what is supporting us? And so I think it's really important that maybe at the end of each day, you just take a moment to think about like, the goal you're working towards and what did happen. So like maybe ...

Lesley Logan 24:50  

Maybe wins, micro wins.

Lesley Logan 24:40  

Micro wins (micro wins are so important.) Micro wins are gonna like really propel you. Oh my God, I'm reading the book, "Messy Middle." (Brad: Yeah. The Messy Middle) And like most of you need to make sure that your wins carry through because there's like highs and lows, highs and lows, (Brad: Yeah) highs and lows. FIrSo the other thing is is like in that awareness, get as much clarity as possible around the things that are in your goals. So like what we talked about with Brad's takeaway with put your vision out there. We literally wrote down, like, "How many rooms?" Okay. (Brad: Yeah) And when I hear people say things like, since we're going to talk about Damari Gold and we're talking about money, I hear people say that "Money is an obstacle." And I say, "How much money do you need?" I don't know. Awareness is so key. If you're not aware of how much money you need for your goal to happen. (Brad: Yeah) You're always gonna say that money is the obstacle. But what if you just need $500? You know, like, maybe you need $5,000, maybe $500,000. But have that awareness because it is actually going to help you achieve the things you're working towards. You have to really get clarity around that.

Brad Crowell 25:49  

You know, I'm going to add on to this (Lesley: Oh keep adding, were just gonna keep layering) ... another talking point that she said that we didn't bring up (Lesley: Seven layer cake.) (Lesley laughs) Yeah. She said that finances should serve as an affirmation, not as a trigger. (Lesley: Oh, I forgot about.) Yeah, that was like, that was that was a golden nugget right there that that was a Damari Gold nugget right there. (Lesley: Ooh) Ah. (Brad laughs)

Lesley Logan 26:12  

And because we live in Vegas near the Golden Nugget.

Lesley Logan 26:14  

Golden Nugget. (Lesley laughs) All the things so so you know, you just said that ... What you just said made me think of that because I do think that we, you know, I for years, I was afraid to look at my bank account. It was just weird denial like thing where I was like, "Okay, if I only spent $6, I hope I'm sure there's going to be enough money in there. You know, and I would buy lunch or whatever." And and like, but I would just never actually log in and look at the actual total. And it like, I don't know, like, somehow I thought I was gonna be okay, if I ignored it. I don't know. Weird thing, right? Because ... (Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 26:53  

I'm sure a lot of people listening to this are like, "Oh, that's me, too."

Lesley Logan 26:56  

Oh, yeah. No, I don't think that I was alone in that. And that's like, people avoid, I avoided and I thought that by avoiding it would make things okay ... wrong. I would then only deal with it when I bounced a check or my credit card, or my debit card would get declined. And then the now I'm in the hole because they charge you 35 bucks. Right? So, you know, this was this was after college and and when I was like hustling, trying to get any kind of work. And but but but money became this fearful thing. And the only way to to get like dig into that and change it is to actually embrace it head on. Right? And that's kind of what Damari was talking about finances should serve as an affirmation, not as a trigger. The affirmation, being, "I haven't ... I have $6 to buy my lunch. You know, I know because it looked at my damn bank account. And I can see that I have $1,000 in there. Yes, I can buy lunch for $6." As opposed to "I only have $1,000 in there. (Aaaahhh freakout session.) I (Lesley: Yeah) can't buy lunch for $6." (Lesley: Yeah) Right? So it says definite, you know, you're it's not something that you just easily do. But, but it's something to work on.

Lesley Logan 28:08  

We should call this a gold conversation. This conversation is gold our Aussies, they would have fuckin' loved it. They would loved it. (Brad laughs)

Brad Crowell 28:15  

Yeah, it's a gold convo.

Lesley Logan 28:16  

I got to add legend into a conversation, (Brad: Yeah right) then they'll be like, "What?" Well, um, gosh. I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell 28:26  

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 28:27  

Thank you so much for joining us today. (Brad: Yeah) We are so freaking grateful you're here. How are you to use these tips in your life? Let us know by sending us a DM to the pod on Instagram and we'll catch you in the next episode. Until then, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell 28:41  

Bye for now. 

Lesley Logan 28:44  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan 29:12  

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Lesley Logan 29:16  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 29:24  

Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Lesley Logan 29:30  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 29:38  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Lesley Logan 29:50  

And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Does your debt define you? Today Lesley interviewed tax accountant Damari Gold (don't worry, it's not all about boring taxes.) They discussed the idea of being debt free (is that good or irrelevant?), our personal relationships with money, starting a side hustle, and battling our fear of failure.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How Damari got her last name
• What happens when you understand your personal finances?
• Accounting/bookkeeping doesn't come naturally
• The preconception that debt free means happiness
• Finances should serve as an affirmation not as a trigger
• The numbers don't lie!
• How does money trigger you?
• How to start a side hustle
• Fear of failure
• Debt shouldn't define us, yet we use it to define what's possible
• Having God-sized goals

Episode References/Links:

• Damari's website
• Damari's IG
• Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill
• The Alchemist: A Fable About Following Your Dream, by Paulo Coelho

Guest Bio:

Damari has a unique perspective on Money and Personal Finances. She holds a Master’s Degree in Accounting and Finance, has been a practicing tax accountant for over ten years and owns a firm, The Gold Standard Accounting & Tax Inc in Huntington Beach, CA.

Damari is passionate about helping small business owners, more specifically women-owned businesses, in understanding their money. As a first-generation American and an entrepreneur herself, she understands the difficulties that are faced. Money goes beyond business; that is why she is determined to help others Be Confident Money Women.

Damari can share with you on different levels and aspects of Money and Personal finance; whether it be money mindset, money management, taxes, or just the fundamentals of business, she has something for everyone.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Hello, Be It Till You See It listener. I love you. I'm just I'm just so excited that we're going to do this every week. Thank you for pressing play on this and downloading this podcast for you ever listen to it. It's really, it's actually it means so much to us. Believe it or not those things actually matter. And so, I'm grateful that you listen to these things but those are the things that matter. And and today I brought in a tax accountant and do not stop listening Holy Moly I promise this is not like going to tax accounting class. Damari Gold who is such a delight. She came in because I I was talking to her, I met her through Renee Dick another podcast guest we had and I just asked her I said like you know, "Do you know any other epic woman we should have on?" and when she introduced me to Damari is like, "Oh my gosh, she is the coolest tax accountant." She she has so many gems in here for you, so if you are afraid of money if like debt scares you, if taking the leap of being it till you see it is like hung up on what money you do or don't have, I need you to listen to this episode so much. This is probably one you're gonna save and relisten to because she really makes things less scary and I think you're gonna realize that she and you and I we're all the same. And I just it's joy. It's easy and it's not scary. Like like finances can be scary. This is not scary and she really has some great tips for you. So take a listen to the coolest tax accountant you will ever hear. (Lesley laughs) I don't think I could ever beat this. Thank you so much after this brief message we'll have Damari Gold.

Lesley Logan 1:41  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See it podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring Bold, Executable Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 2:24  

Hi, welcome back to the Be It Till You See It podcast. I have Damari Gold here with us today. Y'all, I I tell you all the time that it is important to ha... like lean into your friends and let people know what you're working on. And that is because I asked, I asked Renee Dick who was a podcast guest of ours recently. "Who else should I have? Who else should I talk to?" And she was like hands down, "Damari Gold you have to talk to her. She is amazing." And y'all I have had many times when I've talked to her already. She is amazing. I'm obsessed with what she's doing and I can't wait for you to hear her words for herself. So Damari, hi, thanks for being here.

Damari Gold 2:59  

Hi, thanks for having me.

Lesley Logan 3:01  

So can you tell everyone where you were like talking to you from where you are at? What you're up to? How you got into what you're doing?

Damari Gold 3:07  

Definitely, so I am in California. I, I'm the owner of the Gold Standard Accounting and Tax. So, I'm a tax accountant by career and trade. And we're located in Huntington Beach and, how did I get started? So way back when I think my passion for this type of industry became apparent to me because I'm a natural problem solver. And I ...

Lesley Logan 3:34  

That's such a cool strength (natural problem solver). (Damari laughs)

Damari Gold 3:38  

Yeah, I mean, I mean I think a lot of people tend to think that it's because of the numbers and, yes I am a bit of a numbers gal, but I think most of it came from problem solving. And in taxation it's just no one picture is ever the same. (Damari laughs) (Lesley: Wait) So, it really there's lots of room to problem solve I suppose. And I have also a very good gift at connecting the dots and seeing the big picture. So, I think that this industry was just the right call for me and you know I'm good at it. So, I'm happy. 

Lesley Logan 4:16  

That's that is really cool. I've actually so... you'll be you're the first, you're the first tax accountant I've interviewed (Lesley laughs) on the podcast and when I put this out I didn't think like, "Oh I'm gonna have a tax accountant on here" but I also think you're the first one who I'v... who I've ever talked to who has like a story like that. Like, "I love mine." They're really good. They're really good at what they do but they're kind of like, "Lesley you want to send that in? Damari: Yeah) Because it's, it's time to send..." (Lesley and Damari laughs) (Damari: Yeah) What I love about you first of all, how cool is your name "Gold" because you could have the Gold Standard as your title like ...

Damari Gold 4:49  

Yes, well, it's my artist name so I picked it it's my chosen last name ... (Lesley and Damari laughs)

Lesley Logan 4:56  

Okay, if that's not being it till you see it though. So, can we talked about, do you mind talking about that? (Damari: No, no, no) So you were not Damari Gold by birth? (Damari: No) So, when did you decide like, how did you decide like you are going to give yourself an artist's name?

Damari Gold 5:13  

Well, okay so my favorite color is gold and it was always such an odd, like people would always say, like that's such an odd like color to say, right? And over time ...

Lesley Logan 5:25  

It's true. I think you're the only person has ever told me that gold is their favorite color.

Damari Gold 5:28  

Yeah. So so as I think as those things came about, you know, have you ever heard of that thing about "hearing things in threes," right? (Lesley: Yeah) And at the time I was reading "Think and Grow Rich" and in that he Napoleon Hill talks about that there more gold has been mined from the minds of men than actual physical gold. And it really stuck with me because I thought it's so true about how the gold really is in our like, we have a lot of it in ourselves and being able to dig that out and finding it. And so, as I was developing my business name, I decided to go with the Gold Standard Accounting and Tax and I thought, "Well you know what, I'm just gonna give myself the last name, Gold." That is how I came with my my artists last name.

Lesley Logan 6:24  

Okay. Obsessed because that is being it till you see it. You're like, "Yeah, I'm Damari Gold. I'm going to be the Gold. I'm going to name my company after this," like I (Damari: Yeah) you at all in, I love that so much. So okay, thank you for sharing that because I have been tempted, I'm not going to, not freak out. I have a really good thing but (Damari laughs) but I grew up with my mom, she was like, "You could change your name if you want to," and I'm like, "How, what would I change it to?" like who how ... it's a long story everyone, I was not supposed to named Lesley Logan, I suppose to name Morgan Jackson (Lesley and Damari laughs) So, I'm Morgan Jacklyn (Damari: Oh, I like it) and so like that. And it didn't, it didn't stick. So anyways, one day, I'll have my parents on to tell how that story happened. And anyways, but I wanted to have you on because something that I have been really, I've been hearing from people who struggle with being it till they see it, they struggle with putting themselves out there and trying new things is money. Money becomes this thing. And a lot of women, no offense ladies out there who do get into their money, but a lot of women, like don't have, there's not a lot being we're ... we're taught about our personal finances about money. I a few years ago, told a coach like, "I think I like my next thing is I want to be an investor and women, like led businesses." And I was like, so, I talking really small, like, "This is what I want." I was like, "Because that's like who does that?" Because you only hear about men doing it. You (Damari: Yeah) don't hear this... there are women doing it more and more lately, but you don't hear about it. And it's because I was never, no one told me, "How you do that?" No one taught me about that. So what what is it? Like, what would you ...? There's a lot we could talk about here. But can you tell me like, what do you see happening with women in their personal finances? And like, what happens if they actually understand them? What's what's out there for them?

Damari Gold 8:12  

I think time. I mean, that this is something that I'm definitely passionate about, because it is women and one of my slogans is "Be a confident money woman." And the reason why is because a lot of times when it comes to talking about money, when it comes to sharing on this area of our lives, there's a lot of shame, sometimes it goes with it, because success looks different for everyone. And sometimes when we feel like we're not meeting that status quo, when we're not meeting the conditioning that we have been brought up with, then we feel like we aren't successful or we aren't doing the right thing, or we are just not good with money. And one thing that I often share in a lot of podcasts and guest speaking that I'm on is, I don't own a home. I have $110,000 in student debt, because I have a master's degree. So and my baby is my business. My success is my business because I invested a lot of time, effort, energy. And to me being able to see my practice if your listeners want to go to my website or if they take a look at our office. My tax office, our tax office looks nothing like any other tax office you've ever seen in your life. So the details in my office is just a reflection of me because I got tired of gray walls, cubicles, ugly offices, like I spent a lot, the majority of my time there right? So I wanted to give my clients in the experience something different because I'm not your daddy's accountant. (Lesley and Damari laughs)

Lesley Logan 9:54  

I love that. So you're, you're, you're trying to make it accessible for women to a want to go to the office because it's pretty, and it's (Damari: Yes) welcoming, it's inviting. And and then also like, understand that it's not like just because you're a tax accountant doesn't mean that like, you're ... (Damari: Does have to be scary) Does have to be scary, right? Because you're a human being as well who's (Damari: Exactly) just like everyone else who graduate student ... loan debt because that's what everyone does no one's graduating debt free.

Damari Gold 10:23  

Yeah, exactly. And you know, what it is, is that oftentimes I think that this particular type of industry, because of the fact that it's for the most part has always been male dominated, or the type of accountants maybe that women have experienced or so on. Maybe they make you feel dumb, or maybe they make you feel like you don't know what you're talking about, and really offering that air, that place where it's safe for you to ask the questions regardless whether you feel like it's a dumb question, or it's anything. I do my best to answer in the best way possible, and also not to make you feel that way because literally, nobody teaches you that. So, how the hell am I supposed to like, I've spent 15 years in this industry, and I still have to learn a lot. There's still so much in this industry that... it takes time. (Lesley: Right) So, how can I expect someone that doesn't do that for a living that isn't, you know, wasn't taught all of these things? How can I expect for them to know? Right?

Lesley Logan 11:21  

Totally, I think that's really nice to hear. I'm wondering, like, when people, like what are the things that people may be thinking about when it comes to their personal finances? Because I think we get really caught up in what we don't have. And like, you know, some people are scared to check their bank account. (Lesley laughs) (Damari: Yeah) And, you know, there's a lot of like, I have student like, shame around student loan debt, shame around if they don't own their house yet, or whatever. And like, or maybe they've had to file bankruptcy or something. (Damari: Yeah) What are some areas that people should actually be paying attention to that might actually be a positive thing around this topic?

Damari Gold 11:54  

Yeah, yeah, definitely, you know, something that I've noticed a pattern is really up for a lot of people is debt is such a heavy weight on their shoulders. And sometimes they don't even have to have a lot of debt. But again, often what you hear out there is that debt free life is the way to go. If you're debt free, this is how you're going to feel whatever you're going to feel confident, you're going to be feel free, you're going to feel all these things and I don't teach that. I say freedom at any wage and because you have to create the life that you want. And that comes no matter how much money you make, (Lesley: Yeah) because what all of a sudden, you're debt free and now you're going to feel confident? And a lot of times people give up on that, because they see the big number. And they feel like this is just so much for me to get to. They feel the stress, they feel the burden of budgeting, feeling restricted feeling all of these things. So to me, it's not about the debt, there are many buckets that you have to hit in your financial picture, not just paying off debt. Debt, that, to me, is like, I don't care. May God bless you and pay for it because I'm not gonna worry about it. Like, I want to fix my life, or I want to live my life in a way where I have the freedoms that I want, time is something that I can never get back. And so looking at our finances, what's funny is that I was just talking to Renee, today. And it was so cool, because we were talking about like, the money situation and looking at your numbers. And, you know, it's like we came up with a phrase or I would say I said to her, like, "You know, the thing with numbers or the thing was looking at your finances and so on. It should serve you as an affirmation not as a trigger." And look ... Right? (Damari laughs)

Lesley Logan 13:44  

Say that one more time, because that's so good.

Damari Gold 13:47  

Looking at our numbers, our finances, our money should serve you as an affirmation not as a trigger. And ...

Lesley Logan 13:54  

That is so good. (Damari: Right) That is so good. (Damari laughs)

Damari Gold 13:58  

And so because really, the reality is is that all of us are chasing something. I, listen guys, I have a ton of things that I have to work through with my money relationship because of my unhealed things, right? Because my mom, I'm a first generation American, my mom was an immigrant. She came to this country with nothing. I'm having enough is something that is stays with me. And sometimes when I feel like I don't have enough, I don't make enough and instead of really looking to see how is the universe, God, whatever you believe in supporting you by seeing the numbers, because I do sometimes look at them and I get stressed out but then I think, man, like I really, really dove into my business about a year ago. Like, I left I had a nine to five while I was building my business on the side, and I couldn't pull the trigger on opening my own office and doing it because I was scared because I know (Lesley: Yeah) that there was a lot more that that went into it. (Lesley: Yeah) So but then I knew it. I wasn't happy with working for someone I wasn't happy. And I know although I've had great people that I've worked for, and I've learned a lot, it just wasn't fulfilling. So, when I finally rip the band aid, when all in, like, the evidence is there, the work that I've been putting in, the numbers show it, and they should serve me as that as an affirmation of my work.

Lesley Logan 15:30  

So there's so mu... there's a few things in there that like, I'm like, "Oh," because, (Damari: Yeah) so my family was not first generation, you know here, (Damari: Yeah) but but not too far off. However, like, there was not a lot of money, there was actually very, very often there was none. And so I have that trigger, where I have a hard time going to the bank account, because I fear is like, there won't be enough and there's ... (Lesley laughs) like, a totally dumb, I totally see that as like, but if you don't look that how do you know it's in there, I'm like, "Everything is on AutoPay." (Damari: Yeah) You know, like my student loans. When they make you go that meeting at school, like they make you go to the meeting, and they're like, (Damari: Yeah) "You are never getting away from these" and like (Damari: Yeah) everyone, if you've never had to go to that meeting, they literally say, "Even if you cut a limb off, even if you lose a limb, even if you lose all of your limbs, if you're alive, those student loans are still there. If you file bankruptcy, they're still there, (Damari: They're still there) until you die, they're there," right? (Damari: Yeah) And so I had friends who adjusted their student loan payments, because you know, when you get to college don't make a lot of money. And I was (Damari: Yeah) like, "I am, I don't even want, I do not want these things around." So, I kept it at what it was I like, worked my hiney off on AutoPay with that, and and I just I had to get comfortable with debt. Because also what I discovered with that, which is really interesting is if you don't have any debt, you don't have any credit cards, you also have a great credit score. It's not like you get like, like, (Damari: Exactly, yeah) it's a whole game that you have to (Damari: It is) get good at managing debt and credit so that you ... so it's that that's it's own topic. It's another day ... (Damari: Aha, yeah) one. So, I was so like, "I don't want to know about that, like, whatever it's there that whole bless it." (Damari: Yeah) When I paid off my student loans, I didn't even know it. I was in my office and I got this email said, "You made your last payment." And I was like, "My last payment. (Damari: What?) What?" (Lesley laughs) And, you know, so so there is something that like, because I didn't focus on that debt, because I was like, "It's gonna come out every month, there's nothing I can do about it. It's pay, it's like, I this is how (Damari: Yeah) much I have to make to make sure all my auto pays go through." It actually was like so freeing that brain space of not letting what you said, "Let it be a trigger." (Damari: Yeah) It's taken me a long time because you know ... some days I remind myself more than others. But when you look at your numbers, right, and I ... the end of every month, I have to do payroll. (Damari: Yeah) I, you know, we are very careful about going, "Oh, we have to pay this much. It's like we get to guess, what our bills are this month." (Damari: Yeah) (Lesley and Damari laughs) "Guess, what our bills are this month?" What do you think is holding because you know you were doing a side hustle before you may hide your business. I see a lot of people not starting new things that they have, like burning desire to do because of money. And (Damari: Yeah) what would you say like what is it? Obviously that if there's no money, then there's no money, but like, what are some things that they can think about or do to start that side hustle and get out of that money block? Do ...

Damari Gold 18:36  

Just honestly, sometimes it's not even there's no secret sauce, it's just fucking do it. Sorry. (Lesley laughs) (Lesley: You can ...) It just honestly, it really is that because the truth of the matter is that, time is going to pass you by, life is going to continue to happen. And you will continue to feel the way you feel if you do not fulfill your life's legend. And I don't know if anybody's read The Alchemist but it's a great book. And what it comes down to is that we can live our lives in continually thinking about something that we want to try or something that we want to do a lot of times, we have a fear of failure, right? (Lesley: Yeah) So oftentimes that'll stop us. And if really you write down what your fear is, then if failure is it, like "What happens if you fail?" Like what, what people know that you failed, okay? Like, you know, a great story. Thomas Edison, right? He all the attempts he made and literally I'm talking thousands and I was hearing I forget what book and he was writing the let's say 500 failed attempt and the guy's like, "Why do you keep doing..." he's like, "This isn't a failure. This is attempt number 500 that didn't work. So, now I know that I have 501 to kind of make this happen." And of course, I'm paraphrasing, (Lesley: Yeah.) (Damari laughs) but that's how it is. I mean, if you're passionate about something, if you really want to make something happen, because trust me, guys, I tried to move away from my vision, I really did ... I literally five years, I was like I tried. And then I was like, "No, never mind, or this isn't gonna work or this office areas not gonna work." And it just, at some point, I even almost said, "You know what, maybe I should stop tax accounting altogether. And just be an accounting manager." Consistent day in, day out, same I tried, it (Lesley laughs) it did not work, (Lesley: Right) I can't get away from it myself. So that's something that you have to keep in mind that, it's like, if you have that in your heart, no matter what you try to do to steer away from it, it's always going to come back to you, it's always going to be in the back of your mind, it's always going to be something that you truly desire, and allowing debt or money, or the fact that we've maybe put ourselves in a financial situation that's not ideal, sometimes can be difficult to rip that band aid, because we're thinking, "Okay, I still have to pay my bills, I get that." But that doesn't have to be the ultimate definer. Because what happens is that you allow that to be your crutch, you say, "Oh, I'm not going to be able to do this, or I won't be able to get to my dream because I have to pay off my debt first."

Lesley Logan 21:27  

Right? Thank you for saying that. I hear that all the time. "Oh, I can't start that job yet. Or I can't do that training yet. Or I can't do that yet because I got to pay this off first." And I don't know who I don't know where that came from because I had a similar thing when I was I graduated college, I had, you know, $50,000 of student debt, loan debt and credit card debt, because I also put some put a bunch of college that was like, "Oh, I can't get more loans for those books. Okay." Did I read that book? No, I didn't. (Lesley and Damari laughs) But they said I would need it for the test. So, I remember when someone's like, "You should be a Pilates teacher." I literally thought but I got to pay off this debt first. Like, (Damari: Yeah ...) Oh my God... If I had waited everyone, so just so you know, I paid it off at the age of 34. (Lesley laughs) (Damari: Nice) (Damari laughs) Like that would be so but you know, so I think that's really an interesting thing. And I also, you know, I've said this before, to clients who they come in, because I want to lose weight. And my big thing is like, "Okay, well, what, what is that? What is that going to give you?" Because, like, it's not the weight, right? (Damari: Yeah.) And that's also I don't, I actually don't know how to do that for you. But I'd love to know what you think is going to happen on the other side of that, right? And they'll say different things, none of which really has anything to do with that with actual weight. They could do it now, anyways. But I always tell people is like, "You don't go around walking around with a scale on your neck for everyone to see that you gained or lost?" Like, (Damari: Yeah) I gain and lose several pounds in one day, you know, (Damari: Yeah) so, we all do. So, we don't walk around with our debt, or our credit score, like a little bubble. (Damari: Yeah, exactly.) So, it doesn't define us. And yet, somehow it we use it as a definition of what's possible. And so I love that you, I love that you said just do it. Because the truth is, is like that is the like, you have to try it out. You have to try whatever is in you. And then you can see possibilities, you know, so (Damari: Yeah) you open your own business a year ago, a little over a year ago. (Damari: Yeah) Yeah. So um, what, like, what are some surprises that you had and what are like good or bad? Like, is there anything that you're like, "Oh, that was easier than I thought," or "Oh, I wasn't expecting that to be so hard."

Damari Gold 23:43  

Oh, yeah, there's tons of it. So the first one I'm going to say is that I when I found my place, because I had tried it a few times. And I knew about three years ago, I had written in my journal that we were going to have an office in Huntington Beach and why Huntington Beach because I love the beach, and I love the ocean. And at some point, we want to be closer to the ocean. And so and I just kept saying that, you know what you were saying about, "Be it before you are it," and (Lesley: Yeah) so I kept saying that and I kept saying that to clients and so on and and, and two years later it actually happened. And so when I walked into the space when it was I was having a moment that day, and I was feeling down on myself because I was just like, "Where do I go from here?" Like, "I know I feel I have this desire, I don't know what to do." Like, "I want to start I want to have a brick and mortar but I don't really know where and or how this is going to happen." And so I went to go see the space and I walked in there and I knew and I just absolutely knew and guess what, again, the numbers might have not been there for me immediately, but I was immediately supported by the universe and people around me where I was able to get the money to fix the place. I was able to get the money to make sure that we were good and then we had enough capital. And so it was awesome just to see the fact that it's like things just came to be. Right? (Lesley: Yeah) Now the surprise that a lot of times and, guys, I'm an accountant, so although I, I wrote out and structured what I thought like the costs were going to be in the overhead and all these things... definitely was not prepared for this new overhead. And it was, it was, it, it's been, I'll say it's been a process because normally with all of the work that I've been doing on the side I got to keep that. I didn't I didn't have the rent to pay for an office. I didn't have an assistant to pay for. I didn't have utilities and all of this marketing and all this stuff. Right? So that definitely took me to a whole new level of like, "Oh shit." (Damari laughs)

Lesley Logan 26:02  

Yeah. I know, I know that. I when I opened my studio like I knew how much money I was paying in rent to, my, the studio I was renting from and so on average like, depending on if I was in town that month or not, it was between $1200 to $2000 and so I thought, "Well, if I have ..." (Damari: It's not that bad) It's not that bad, right? And so I'm like, "If I get ... a studio for myself that's $1600 or less" then even with utilities whatever like I'm good, right? Totally (Damari: Yeah) good like I did the math on how much internet was going to be, my utilities whatever. So, I think I was gonna be so good and like some months will be more expensive than normal because I was traveling but not that much it would all like even itself out. (Lesley laughs) (Damari: Exactly) I don't know it's like the insurance that you have to pay when you own your own business is not to scare anyone but it was just like, "Oh that's how much that bill is actually. Oh. that's different. Okay, no problem, not a big deal," and you know and then like you'd like there's these like little hidden things and it's not to distract you it's just like what you said earlier is somehow the money does come or somehow things show up for you. So when I open my studio I didn't have most of the equipment at all because it was late ...

Damari Gold 27:14  

Oh yeah and your equipments so expensive too. (Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 27:17  

It's so expensive and I couldn't get a bank loan, so no bank would give me a loan and I was like, "Is it kind of asking for enough?" Like I'm showing profit this many... that, I've been profiting every year and I've been in business and I think I feel like it was I didn't ask for it. You know and you're like, "Maybe I didn't ask for enough," and they're like, "This isn't a big enough thing for us so we don't deal with it." Anyways, so I charged it, I charged 50% of the equipment on a credit card wait, while I was waiting the three months for it I paid that off and then I charged the other half and I was like, "Okay we're just gonna let that do its thing because that's what I don't have I can't pay it off again in three months." (Damari: Yeah) And but people loaned me equipment, so I could be in business. (Damari: Nice) Now I wait it. Like you it's kind of like this thing I've heard people say it in different ways if Hazel Ortega who talks about miracle dre... miracle goals and like I've had other I've heard other people talk about how it's so important to have like God size goals because like we can only do this much and logically you're like, "How am I going to do that?" (Damari: Yeah) But when you actually start the wheels in motion, you're surprised by, "Oh oh this person is like ... remember they owed me a bill." Or this person is like, "Hey, do you need that I wanted that..." You'd be surprised so it's like so important that we actually do go big because (Damari: Yes) it works itself out and it's you know you learn stuff along the way but the other side is but you know you could have just been doing nine to five account managing and that would have like drained your soul because that's ...

Damari Gold 28:43  

Yeah. Well, it was it was I wasn't I wasn't happy I mean I did it for like three months and then I was like, "Man, F this place." (Lesley: Yeah) But I knew that I had to go through that journey. I knew that I really had to like what's it called like legitima... I don't know what that's worth but make it more so it's an affirmation for me like it was just a confirmation that where I belonged was not there (Lesley: Yeah) and that as much as I tried to get away from it, as much as I tried to do something else it just that wasn't it. And sometimes our God size goals are huge goals because this happens to me is that they get overwhelming because we want to be the ones to know how we're going to get there. And it's it's one of those things where you really do have to sit back and be like, "It's not up to me to know the 'how', it's up to me to have faith that it will happen." And when it does, you know it's going to be awesome.

Lesley Logan 29:45  

I love this. It's not at all what I thought a tax account would ever talk about when it comes to... (Damari and Lesley laughs) Like, knowing our personal finances and like taking big leaps. Okay, Damari so, where can everyone find you if they're like, "This girl is the first time I've ever heard someone talking about money that actually feels like they know me and get me, they are me." Where can they follow you or find you?

Damari Gold 30:06  

They can find me on Instagram @damarigold or they can go to our website www you have to put the triple w for some reason I got to fix that but damarigold.com and I have to say disclose it because I've been having that issue. So damarigold.com. That's our website and you can find other resources and contact information there as well.

Lesley Logan 30:26  

Awesome. We'll have all that in the show notes and then Brad can also help you figure out (Damar: Yeah) what's going on there. Yeah, cuz you ... usually you have to put like I put the https colon (Damari: colon) slash slash. (Damari: Yeah) (Damari and Lesley laughs) And I ... (Damari: It's like, "What is this?") I don't I don't say it. I just hope that internet's put it in there and ...

Damari Gold 30:47  

I know and that's what you would think but when people ... I've done it on browsers damarigold.com it won't like default templates but I'm sure it's something in the back end .... So, but ...

Lesley Logan 30:57  

Perfect is boring, take messy action just find a work around.

Damari Gold 31:02  

Exactly. Messy beginnings are normal.

Lesley Logan 31:04  

Yeah. Messy beginnings are normal. That's a new phrase. I love it. Okay, so be it till you see it, bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps that people can take so that they could be like you so that it could do the thing that has been burnin' in them, inside them.

Damari Gold 31:19  

Inside. Oh man okay um you know if I would say write it down write your your super huge big vision that seems like what you would not tell anybody or what you feel like somebody would judge you for or anything like that. Write it down and as you're going through life become aware of how you're being supported in that in that vision. So whether that be someone sort of encourages you with a word, maybe you hearing this is again another affirmation to, you what you want to accomplish but become aware of your surroundings and the things that are directing you in the ... in that place. Because a lot of times we can feel these goals or we can feel this desire but we don't write it down so we just kind of internalize it and we don't put it out there and sometimes putting it out there is might be the first scary part of things writing it out. (Lesley: Yeah) Right? And then just think what's the worst that can happen like literally break it down? What is the worst that can happen? What you fail? I don't know (Damari laughs) like, what happen ...

Lesley Logan 32:30  

I love that because I used to do, "I'm like what is the worst thing ... Am I gonna die?" because that to me is the worst (Damari: Yeah ...) I find that ... (Damari: Yeah, it's true) that's it. So and then I actually like realist I'm like "Nope, I won't I won't die from this. Okay, well ..."

Damari Gold 32:44  

Is it gonna affect your health, right? Like is it going to do anything and sometimes if you we don't have to run before we crawl so don't think that just because you write it down all of a sudden this means that tomorrow you need to do this. (Lesley: Right) It means that this can be something that you can build upon, that you can start off slowly, that you can grow and increment and just put to see if it does continue to ring or to pull on your heart ... it's your passion. And I think just being able to see that written down and becoming aware of your surroundings are signs that are telling you, "That this is the direction that you should be heading in." I think we'll just ... (Lesley: I love that) that decision making a little bit more easier.

Lesley Logan 33:30  

I love it. I love it, it's such a simple thing that people ... that's so powerful and it does, it does totally allow you to see those one of our guests, Joanna Vargas as I call them feather touches. Like he put out there like there's feather touches out there. So (Damari: Yeah) ah Damari Gold, you are amazing. I'm (Damari: It's amazing, too) so glad we got to have you on here and talk about this. Thanks for making us all realize that this money stuff that we have hanging over our head, letting this define us, is not defining us it's just something (Damari: I know) that's out there and there's bigger things for us out there. So just thank you so much. Everyone screenshot this podcast, tag @damarigold (Damari: Yeah) on Instagram. We'll put her handle in the show notes as well. And the be it till you see it pod, so @be_it_pod with your takeaways. What did you get from those ... of this podcast? So that she can see what you are taking away from it, also other people and that might, (Damari: Yeah) that might be the sign that they needed to do what they're about to ... (Damari: Exactly) domino effect, I think. Thank you everyone. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Lesley Logan 34:33  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan 35:01  

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell 35:05  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 35:12  

Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell 35:18  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 35:27  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week. so you can.

Brad Crowell 35:38  

And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Episode 50?? Wow! Thanks for joining us on this journey so far! Today Brad and Lesley recap her freeing interview with Emily Coffman, covering everything from the "domino approach" to how to start without the commitment. Sprinkled in is some Thanksgiving traditions and why to say "thank you" to yourself.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Thanksgiving traditions
• drinking cavities
• Saying thank you to yourself
• Transitioning your competitive nature into something else after sports
• "It" might look a little different than you thought (and that's OK!)
• The domino approach to your day
• Whatever you've been putting off... start it today!
• Start WITHOUT the commitment

Episode References/Links:

• Home For The Holidays (movie)
• Emily Coffman's podcast, Live Your Personal Best
• Elite to Everyday Athlete: 9 Steps to Getting Off the SIDELINES of Life, by Emily Coffman
• Michael Phelps' Documentary, The Weight of Gold

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:01  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring Bold, Executable Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 0:46  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co hosts in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the freeing convo I had with Emily Coffman in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now, go back and listen to that one. And then come back and join us here. Because this is episode 50.

Brad Crowell 1:04  

50! (Lesley: What?) (Brad laughs) That's kind of insane.

Lesley Logan 1:08  

I ... nuts. (Brad: Yeah) Insane.

Brad Crowell 1:11  

Yeah. We're at like five months, I guess.

Lesley Logan 1:14  

Yeah, I think so.

Brad Crowell 1:15  

June, July, August, September ... Six months.

Lesley Logan 1:19  

What? Oh, my gosh. Well, (Brad: How ... is that?) there it is. So, um, y'all, we turned 50 because of you. I mean ...

Brad Crowell 1:25  

We at least 25 weeks if we did two per week. So yeah.

Lesley Logan 1:28  

Yeah. Good job, good using your math. So ...

Brad Crowell 1:30  

That's how I do. (Lesley: That's great) Six, six months and change.

Lesley Logan 1:33  

So it's episode 50. And unlike other podcasts, where they are perfectly aligned with knowing what number they're at, and they have edited all the best of their first 50 episodes, we've done none of that for you. In fact, we're just gonna do enough more episode. But we ...

Brad Crowell 1:50  

Oh like like recapping greatest hits (Lesley: Yeah, we do) from our episodes.

Lesley Logan 1:53  

So let us know if you want that for episode 100 or 75. Or just if that matters to you, like we want to know. I mean, we might probably do that because it is kind of fun. But that requires a producer which we are in the process of onboarding. So we will see what she has the ...

Brad Crowell 2:09  

It also requires a dog not whimpering in the background because he wants to go for a walk.

Lesley Logan 2:14  

Oh my God, he's an hour or oh, we fell back.

Brad Crowell 2:17  

Oh (Lesley: So he's ...) they're on time.

Lesley Logan 2:20  

He's on time. (Brad laughs) Oh ... what's wrong with these dogs. Y'all, these dogs are like, trying to get our attention. They're like army crawling across the floor. But they clearly don't know it's episode 50. (Brad: Oh, yeah) 50, 50, 50. So anyways, just can I just say big thanks to each one of you who listens to this podcast, because otherwise we be talk... talking in a dark void to the ethers. But I know you listen to this. And your share ...

Brad Crowell 2:46  

We know that you know, because you chat to us on the Gram. (Lesley: The @be_it_pod and at ...) So thanks for that.

Lesley Logan 2:52  

And at my personal Instagram and just all that. So thank you so much. Thank you for sharing this podcast with your friends. Thank you for your written reviews. Keep them coming if you haven't written one, and, you know, keep Being It Till You See It. Happy 50th episode. (Brad: Whoa!) Okay, what's our audience question this week, Babe?

Brad Crowell 3:07  

All right, I think that it's time appropriate here. What are your Thanksgiving traditions? (Lesley: I know) For those of you who live in the United States, we obviously celebrate Thanksgiving in November ... 

Lesley Logan 3:17  

Yeah. Canada already had their Thanksgiving. (Brad: Yeah) And I don't know if anyone else has something similar. So if you do (Brad: Couldn't tell you) let us know what the name of that is. We'll forget but it's nice to know what's going on up there. And we'd love to know your tradition. So, um, you know, I grew up going to my dad's family's house for Thanksgiving, sometimes. And sometimes I went to my mom's Thanksgiving house. And let me just tell you a little difference, just so you could understand the life I grew up in. So my dad's family has like traditions with Thanksgiving like the same person made the stuffing and the same person made the turkey and like everyone had the dish was like, couldn't have been more perfect with the football games in the background. And like don't interrupt the games and we ate at a specific time because it was like with whatever the I don't even understand it all. But then there was that, right. And then my mom's family, whatever they want for Thanksgiving. I'm not really sure how they won but somehow ended up at their house. This was a Raley's dinner. So they would go to the grocery store. And they would get the dinner and they would make it and I will never ... do all you know what do you call it Martinelli's. What's that sparkling? (Brad: Yeah, yeah. The apple ...) This sparkling an apple. It's like so much sugar. It's like ... (Brad: It's just like drinking syrup.) It's like drinking cavity. It's like putting cavities in your mouth as you drink it. (Brad laughs) Anyways, so my grandparents like had the plastic, you know, fancy shampoo ... (Brad: Oh) you know when the ones you put the top to the bottom, the top to the bottom on ...

Brad Crowell 4:40  

Yeah. And when they fall apart while they have liquid in them, it doesn't go well.

Lesley Logan 4:44  

Well, how did you know because they did it throughout all the Thanksgiving plate. So the turkey ended up floating in Martinelli's. And anyway, so do I have Thanksgiving traditions as an adult? No, no, I do not.

Brad Crowell 4:58  

I have a story to share ... Well, Thanksgiving traditions is definitely how I got in with your family.

Lesley Logan 5:07  

Oh, yes because there was this one favorite dish ...

Brad Crowell 5:10  

Because there was this one recipe. It was grandma's recipe. It was an artichoke recipe. (Lesley: Like a torta. An artichoke torte) It was an artichoke torte. And, and no one in the family had the recipe (Lesley: I have it) except for Lesley had it.

Lesley Logan 5:22  

I also have the chocolate cake recipe.

Brad Crowell 5:24  

And she never talked about it. She never told anybody. (Lesley: No) And then the first year that I went to the family dinner that I didn't know anybody. I made grandma's artichoke torte recipe and everyone freaked out. They are all like, "Where did you got ..."

Lesley Logan 5:39  

Tears everywhere ... tears.

Brad Crowell 5:40  

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So I made it for a number of years in a row. And that became my dish that I had to make. (Lesley: Yeah) Until we stopped going to Northern California for Thanksgiving altogether ...

Lesley Logan 5:50  

Because we stopped. Because traditions are also made to be broken. Y'all, like, let me just tell you the pressure of making this artichoke thing and also the nine hour drive that should only be five hours. (Brad: Yeah) it just became a lot. So our Thanksgiving tradition has been the last several years. We sit at home. (Brad: Yeah) And we make our list of things we've been wanting to buy. And we enjoy every single sale online. We are big on it. And then we make up the list of things that we need to buy for the holidays. And we watch Home For The Holidays. Which you're freakin' welcome. Best holiday movie ever made. I promise you it's 90s glorious in it's and it's prime.

Brad Crowell 6:30  

But we might we might start some new things here because we now have had some family move to town. Ah, so we shall see ...

Lesley Logan 6:36  

Well, my brother already was here. So in full, like, we have to give him props. He brought us here. (Brad: That's true.) Then my dad came. (Brad: Yeah.) And so I think this will be the first Thanksgiving in a long time we will listen to football games on an iPad cuz we don't own a TV. (Brad: Yeah.) And we (Brad: That's true) my dad suggested Chinese food. So (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 6:56  

Love it. I'm so in on that. That's amazing. (Brad laughs)

Lesley Logan 7:00  

So, we're maybe this year is the start of new traditions. At any rate, whatever you do for Thanksgiving, please remember to be grateful for what you've done for yourself. (Brad: Yeah) And you can also be grateful for what others have done. But I think often we do not say thank you to ourselves. So please give yourself some gratitude because you are amazing and you're here because of you. And then also to take care of those in your life and give them big hugs this Thanksgiving. Okay, or if it's Thursday, where you are and not a holiday at all. Be grateful for what you've done for you. (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 7:31  

Okay, now let's talk about Emily Coffman.

Lesley Logan 7:34  

I know, she's so cool ...

Brad Crowell 7:36  

Emily Coffman is the fastest growing advocate for athlete wellness in life after sports. She's a former NCAA division one athlete, creator of the top one 1% health and fitness podcast, Live Your Personal Best. And she's the author of Elite to Everyday Athlete. She educates and encourages others on how to live their best and healthiest lives.

Lesley Logan 7:58  

Yeah, I, I find I I met her randomly, like on a zoom call. So weird. And then she reached out to me in a random email from a different site. And we ended up on a podcast for her podcast, I'm looking at her face and like, "I've seen this girl before." And then when we were done recording, I'm like, "Were you on this such and such zoom call?" And she's like, "Yeah," and I was like, "That's hilarious." And so you know, the world is small. But I think that's really cool. Her book is really great and I really do... There's a lot of conversation about elite athletes becoming you know, everyday people. And there's a lot of pressure and a lot of ...

Brad Crowell 8:36  

Especially after the Olympics, this past (Lesley: Oh my Gosh) you know, this past Olympics.

Lesley Logan 8:40  

Y'all, if you haven't watched Michael Phelps' documentary, it's going to depress you. But it's also like so, so important, because if you are ... (Brad: It's called "The Weight of Gold") Yeah, if you are raising children, or if you have an elite athlete in your life, there is this like expectation hangover that happens. And I think it's just really important. So I'm really grateful that she wrote this book, because I think it really does help people who maybe didn't make it all the way to the pros, or maybe they didn't make it there, have some sort of structure and ideas of how they can funnel that energy and that commitment.

Brad Crowell 9:10  

Whether or not you made it all the way to the pros is irrelevant. If you've dedicated your life to becoming an athlete and did that from you know, like t-shirt league through college and then maybe even beyond, (Lesley: t-shirt league?) yeah, you know, when you're like six, right? (Lesley: Oh ... t-shirt on a Jersey got it ...) Yeah. So, you know, the point is, if you've lived your entire life that way, that transition for like, suddenly it's over and you're like, "Um, I guess I'm not going to play competitively anymore because of..." whatever the thing might be. And so but how do you how do you like take that, that intensity that you had brought to your sport, and transition that into another activity in your life and find fulfillment in it? So, you know, that's, I think that's exciting. That's kind of what her book is about. And, and anyway, we're excited (Lesley: Yeah) the book is out. It is now out as of the last episode, I think at the beginning of last episode, we didn't know if it was out yet, but towards the end we realized yeah, by the time the episode was airing, it was gonna be out (Lesley: Yeah) so you can find it. The link is in the show notes.

Lesley Logan 10:18  

Yeah, it's out now. Sorry, y'all, we interview some of these people way back in the day, and now they're coming out. It's just how it goes. Welcome to the podcast world, I'm always shocked. 

Lesley Logan 10:29  

Anyways, I think that brings me to something I like that she said it might look a little different than you thought and that's okay. And for my recovering perfectionist and overachievers. And those of you who haven't yet put recovered in, in front of those two words. This is so important. This is something that's so it's still so hard for me. It's still something I'm still practicing. Because I also have a team who does things for me. So I'll tell them something, and then it comes out. And sometimes it looks different in the best way and sometimes looks different in the "Oh my God, I'm gonna cry way," and, and it's okay! It's okay, because it's really, really important that we get, we do things so we can get to the next step. And not try to like, just continue to mold it till it looks exactly the way you thought because you know what I didn't, I had no clue that I would live in Vegas. Be married to a musician and have three dogs, two of which are like really trying to go for a walk right now. (Brad: Yeah) So ...

Brad Crowell 11:27  

I have a head on my leg. (Lesley: Yeah, yeah) He's staring at me forlornly. (Lesley: I know.) Yeah. But you know, it's funny. I think that I one of my recent rel... relation connections to, to what you're saying is when we hired the artists to paint our mural in the back. (Lesley: I know) And you know, it was lovely ...

Lesley Logan 11:49  

I really, we wanted her to do what she already did.

Brad Crowell 11:54  

Well, so we hired her to paint this mural that we designed with her and she started off she said, "I think it's going to take me about a week." We're like, "Okay," and because it's hot here she decided she wanted to start at like 9pm. And she would work until two in the morning. And so, I mean, I my guess would be four five nights, she spent five plus hours on it. So 25 hours or so. And, you know, I mean, it's a it's beautiful, it's lovely. But the last night, I was watching her nitpick. Right? Noodle the ... (Brad laughs) Sorry ...

Lesley Logan 12:29  

Sorry. August is losing his mind. He wants the blue cheese bottle ...

Brad Crowell 12:34  

I was watching, I was watching her nitpick the colors on the wall. And she, you know, she would go in. She would "pssht" and then she would back up and then she would go in and "pssht" write and we started we started a conversation "pssht" (Lesley: Spray paint) Yeah, that's a spray paint "pssht" That's what that means. And the we we started a conversation about that. And she said, "You know, I really could, I really could stay here and keep tweaking this forever because I'm never satisfied. I can always see, I can always spot something else that could be better, could be, you know, adjusted, or, or whatever." You know, and she and I started to talk about music being similar to that where you can always noodle with a song a little more or make the lyrics a little better, adjust the production, whatever. And but there comes a point where you have to go, "Okay, I'm putting it out into the world now." It is, it is as good as it should be. It is as good as it needs to be. You know, and provided that something catastrophic isn't tied to your work, like, you know, then then you can you can feel satisfied.

Lesley Logan 13:42  

If you are a surgeon listening to this, please do the best you freakin' can always but if you are not ... (Brad: Right) You know, I just think, "Done is better than perfect" and ... (Brad: Right) Also, you will always be able to see those things. I can't see the things that that she could "pssht" more on...

Brad Crowell 13:42  

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I look at it on websites, too. Like there comes a point where I'm like, "Oh my God, like we need to stop because I'll just nitpick this to death."

Lesley Logan 14:09  

Yeah. So, you know, I think that for those of you who practice Pilates, the beautiful thing is quality over quantity. And yes, you could always do an exercise better, but that's what the next rep is for. And if you hit three reps and you still haven't gotten there, move on, because that's what the next time is for. So anyways, I hope that ... helps you get your shit done.

Brad Crowell 14:30  

So, I really loved what she was talking about when she said the domino approach. I thought this was really clever. And I almost named the entire podcast after this, this conversation, or the episode I mean, because she was talking about how you you pick one thing in your day, and that's the top domino the first domino and she said it's better ... She she prefers to start with the first domino, then try to make you know, starting with like, all the dominoes at the same time where she's like, "I have to do these 75 things tomorrow," you know, and instead she said, "I start with one and that one domino for me is my workout." And she said, "When I work out, then all the things topple after it in a positive way," after she works out, she gets a shower, then she can feel refreshed. And then she goes and gets her coffee. And then she does this and then she whatever. You know, and it becomes this marker that you can use if you know what your first domino is, and what you were talking about last episode was your workout when we travel. So you know, she starts, you start you were talking about you're waking up with the sun when we travel. And basically, you know how that can how you get your workout in. And that will allow you to still have a solid day even though you don't have the rest of your normal morning routine. (Lesley: Yeah) And I just thought that was clever to think about it that way. Like the domino approach, because I don't actually, I don't really have a marker in my mor... in my day, in my morning. That's like, "Okay, cool. Now I can, you know, now the rest of my day is going to follow."

Lesley Logan 16:14  

I mean, your coffee. I think I mean ...

Brad Crowell 16:16  

Yeah. Okay, I coffee. That's true.

Lesley Logan 16:18  

Well, I will you know, there's very interesting actually, because Amy Ledin who is one of our original, like, first guests, who is a dear friend of ours. She recently put a post on her podcast when for like five minute downloads, which is like, "Don't hit snooze in the morning." And so for those of you who wake up to an alarm clock, if you refuse to hit snooze, by, like, by committing to waking up when you said you're gonna wake up, it is a domino effect of competence in your day that you keep commitments to yourself. And so I think that just goes along with this. Like, it doesn't have to be a workout. It can just be something small that you do every every morning that you're like, "Okay, this, this sets the domino, have an amazing day." You know, BJ Fogg has his Maui habit where he puts his feet on the ground and goes, "Today's gonna be an amazing day." And then he celebrates that right? So it could be your workout like, it's for me and Emily, I, I definitely beat the sun this past week with the fallback, I'm gonna be honest. I was ... an hour before the sun. So there's that and that was amazing. But find something to be your domino, give it the name of the domino and let us know how that goes ... (Brad: Love that.) Okay.

Brad Crowell 17:31  

So let's talk about the BE IT action items that you discussed with Emily Coffman. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items, can we take away from your convo with her?

Lesley Logan 17:40  

I'm going first. (Brad: Do it.) My biggest takeaway is whatever that one thing is you've been wanting to do. Maybe you've been putting it off or you don't feel ready for it yet. She says, "Just go for it now." And y'all, I mean, could we not pick a better BE IT action item for Be It Till You See It podcast. (Brad: I know) I was like, "Ah, yeah. Hired you want to host with me? Okay." (Brad laughs) Because y'all, I swear to you, life is really really really is like trying on a pair of new jeans and you're wondering if they're in style or not. I was just opening up one of my emails and there's this like high waisted baggy jeans. (Hello, 90s.) It made me think of Sister Act 2, you know, Lauryn Hill, and those baggy jeans. And I was like, "Look at those jeans, maybe I need those jeans." Here's the deal, because I'm not going to do put those jeans on my vision board and hope that those jeans someday they are on my body, I'm going to go try the jeans on and see if they look good or not before I find after them. Too often, we're like, "Someday, one day. I will, when I have this. I'm gonna do. Blah, blah, blah." Do the thing and see what happens. Just see what happens. You may go, "Oh my God, I hate that." And I don't know maybe these jeans I'm gonna hate but we're gonna find out because I'm going to order them and try them on. (Brad laughs) Alright, what's your BE IT items? (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 18:54  

That is amazing. All right, so just kind of actually hand in hand with that. You can just start now, start basically she was talking about how you don't have to make it this massive mountain of a thing. You can start now start without the pressure, start without the commitment and just start just because you're interested in it. (Lesley: Yeah) And I thought wow, that is a that's really interesting. I remember I mean think back to when we were teenagers or in middle school or whatever. And you know, we we liked music or we liked art or we like sports or whatever and we're like reading or like video games whatever it is you you ended up dedicating more time to because you enjoyed it not for any other reason becau... just because you dug it. And so when it comes to this bigger stuff, I know that we have finite amount of time, but maybe you know it's maybe you wanted to learn sign language. Start! You know, maybe you wanted to learn another like spoken language, maybe you whatever maybe you wanted to, you know, start building a studio in your house, maybe you know, whatever it is, you know, (Lesley: Yeah) you can start it without the pressure and what she was talking about, (Sorry to cut you off.) She said she started her podcast this way. And, you know, half dozen episodes in she was like, "Actually, I love it. I'm gonna keep doing it."

Lesley Logan 20:16  

Yeah, well, and I think like also without the pressure, it's like, you don't have to go, "Okay, I'm going to like learn sign language and I'm going to teach it in front of like, the entire city" and go, "I'm just gonna like, put go on YouTube and like start it and see if I like it and see if it's good." And just keep the pressure off of it because it's way more fun. Like, especially what you brought when you were kids. We, we didn't go, "Oh my God, when I am the star pitcher of a team," we like went out and pitch with our friends. Like ...(Brad: Right) and maybe you thought someday, "I'm gonna be the star pitcher." But you didn't go, "Oh my God, I can't throw this pitch until I'm the star pitcher." (Brad: Right) That doesn't happen when you're like take ... be a child when it comes to things people because (Brad: Also to you know ...) the way more fun.

Brad Crowell 20:58  

Think about especially the athletes in the room. I would bet any amount of money that you didn't just pick one you were like and baseball and then next to soccer and then next is you know, track and then next is volleyball and then next is and then it was cycle back and forth and back and forth. And there came a point where you were like, "I'm just not into you know, baseball, I would rather focus on..." whatever.

Lesley Logan 21:20  

Yeah, my Dad put me in every sport hoping that I would get a scholarship. I did not, (Brad laughs) I'm not that athletic, but there was not a lot of pressure on any of it and that's what made it really fun. (Brad: That's good) So anyways, I just really enjoyed her, her outlook on all this and I really excited about her book that it's out there and I hope y'all enjoyed this. (Brad: Awesome.) Okay, well, I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell 21:43  

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 21:44  

Thank you so much for joining us today. We are so grateful, like so grateful for you. So keep us posted on how you're using these tips in your life by screenshotting of this episode. Tag us and the @be_it_pod and our guest and let us know how you are using these takeaways in your life. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell 22:02  

Cheers.

Lesley Logan 22:04  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan 22:33  

'Be It Til You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell 22:37  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 22:44  

Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell 22:50  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 22:59  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell 23:10  

And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Are you a competitive athlete? Were you? How do you transition from being the top of your game to… something else entirely? Meet Emily Coffman, author, podcaster, former elite athlete. She and Lesley break down what it’s like to hurdle that transition, helping bring that competitive spirit to other aspects of your life.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How do you transition from being a competitive athlete to a non-competitive athlete?
• Taking the "domino" approach to become your best daily self
• What is a coxswain on a rowing team?
• Taking action before you overthink it
• What is the quickest way to get something done, and can you do that now
• Showing up even if you don't feel like it
• Be proud of yourself every time you work on something
• It might look a little different than you thought, but that's OK

Episode References/Links:

• Emily's website
• Emily's IG
• Emily's podcast, Live Your Personal Best
• Elite to Everyday Athlete: 9 Steps to Getting Off the SIDELINES of Life, by Emily Coffman
• Documentary, The Weight of Gold
• Unlearn: 101 Simple Truths for a Better Life, by Humble the Poet

Guest Bio:

Emily Coffman is the fastest growing advocate for athlete wellness in life after sport. She is a former NCAA Division I athlete, creator of the top 1% health and fitness podcast, Live Your Personal Best and author of Elite to Everyday Athlete. She educates and encourages others on how to live their best and healthiest life.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Hey you, welcome back. It's so good to have you here. Okay, I'm really stoked for you to listen to Emily Coffman, my guest today for you. She is the host of "Live Your Personal Best" podcast. Her her whole thing is from elite athlete to everyday athlete and if you're like but lol, I was never an elite athlete, well, you know what, you're still gonna get some gems out of here because she has some great tips on structuring your day that for those of you who are non-early morning person like me, I think you will get something out of so I definitely want to listen to that. But also, just the way she thinks about things like maybe you are an elite something in your life. And now you're on to something else, because maybe with a pandemic, life changed for you, or any reason, right? So if you were something before and now you're doing something different now, this podcast is for you. Also, she is such an inspiration. She never thought she'd be writer and she's writing a book, written a book and it's publishing this summer. So, I just I feel like there's so much and get out of this even if you are listening and going, "I could never throw a ball if someone paid me." I want you to know you probably could. Money is very, very motivating. But also her tips to be it till you see it are absolutely gold and I am so thrilled. I in fact inside I was like, "We share a brain." So anyways, I'm just so grateful that you're here. Thank you for listening to this podcast each and every week. And for send your questions in for Brad night to answer we are obsessed with you. We love you. We love doing this podcast. And if there is anything that you are needing to hear more about, you have any questions that you would love us to make sure we cover with guests. Please send them to me on Instagram at the @be_it_pod. So it's b e i t p o d, there's some underscores in there. It's in the show notes. Check it out. But anyways, without further ado, I want you to get into this amazing, awesome interview conversation with Emily Coffman. And I'll see you on the other side.

Lesley Logan 2:03  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 2:49  

Hello, welcome back to the Be It Till You See It podcast. I am really excited to talk to Emily Coffman. Okay, this is really funny. So, Emily and I actually are in a very similar, we're in the same mastermind. And we were in these virtual meetings, which is where you really don't, get ... you get to know people, but you don't really get like you see their faces in a little Brady Bunch Hollywood Squares and you're like busy working on your stuff. And then I get this podcast reach out from someone on a different platform, and it was Emily, and I'm like, "Oh sure!" I didn't I didn't notice that it was someone I sort of knew already. And then we get on the zoom, we do a whole podcast and I'm like, "Do I, do I know you already?" (Lesley laughs) And so um, so it's just so fun to be able to have you on my podcast because first of all, what you are doing in this world is so necessary as an ex-athlete, and I was not even an elite athlete, but just someone who was in sports, seeing what you're doing and how you're supporting and advocating for athletes to live their best life and for people to live their best life. I had to have you on. Of course you'd be on the Be It Till You See It podcast. So Emily, will you tell everyone who you are and what you're up to right now?

Emily Coffman 3:58  

Yeah, thanks for having me on. It's so funny that we spent an hour talking before realizing we knew each other. But I am the podcast host of "Live Your Personal Best" podcast and author of a book being published this summer, "Elite to Everyday Athlete." So, I'm kind of working on the two right now to help advocate for former athletes and then just everyday athletes, too.

Lesley Logan 4:19  

Okay, there's gonna be so much to talk about because I have written a book and it's a lot of work. Are you doing are you self publishing? Are you working with a publisher?

Emily Coffman 4:29  

So, it's hybrid publishing, so I'm working with a publisher.

Lesley Logan 4:32  

So, I mean congratulations that's a huge huge deal. Um, it's not easy to do. How like what made you ... what made you want to write this book? Like what was it about it that you're like, "You know what, I'm gonna take on a book. I'm gonna write a book."

Emily Coffman 4:48  

Yeah, I wish I thought about it longer because it definitely is a huge undertaking, but I started my podcast at the beginning of COVID. And everything shut down and I loved it came out with twice a week episodes, and I had over 80 episodes published and I was like, "Okay, I talked about this so much there's a clear need of people like needing help with how to live a healthy lifestyle after sports" and as much as I love my podcast and as much as that's helpful as like a book it's like front to back like you follow it in order there's no jumping around" and I was like, "And that's what they need is like this step by step guide." And so I started kind of writing my ideas into a book and then for I knew it 30,000 words later it's a full published thing.

Lesley Logan 5:31  

Oh, okay, so I do, so I as an athlete, like I was a runner, and like, you know, back when I was a runner, they weren't like, "Here are the things you eat - it was like carb load." (Lesley laughs) And so then I went to college and I was no longer running and you can't, you don't need to eat that much rice, you actually don't need to have that much and so it was really hard for me to change into being just like a normal person who moves (not that there's anything wrong with that) but like from when you're running and working out so much - and also you're younger and so life is just easier then - to being someone who like needs to go to the gym, I had to create my own workouts like I didn't have a race that I was building up to. It took me a long time I wish you had existed then. (Lesley laughs) So, um can you can you because I think a lot of people listening probably were athletes in their childhood or even their high school days maybe even their in college and what what is it that like what are the some of the transitions that people don't think about when they're stopping sports? You know, completely.

Emily Coffman 6:37  

Yeah, so there's three buckets that are kind of breaks down into what you need to transition and so there's the physical changes, there's the mental changes and then the emotional changes, too. And a lot of times we like will focus on one like you had mentioned you're like, "Okay, you know, I need to structure my workouts differently now or I need to be eating differently." Some people will be changing those but then they still feel off, they still feel like, "Okay, why don't I feel like I did as an athlete. I used to be so ambitious. I used to do all these things and I just don't feel like that anymore." (Lesley: Yeah) And so it has to be a mix of all of these things, right? You're going through an identity change, you're going through a loss, you have to grieve it like a loss of "Okay, maybe you're losing your mentors, your support system, your hobbies," like what is it that you loved about sports and structure like it was your structure of your day you spent the majority of your day doing that and so different things of... Okay, an everyday athlete - it's a balance of being healthy both what you're eating, how you're moving your body - but then also making sure that you're taking care of all the psychology that goes on behind it, all the mental health that goes behind it to of, you aren't just going to be an expert at the next thing again like you can't go from being a track runner in high school and you know, maybe go into district, maybe go into regionals whatever and then you start at the bottom of the totem pole (Lesley: Right) in college, right? Or you start at the bottom of the totem pole in business and we hate to be beginners again but that's really what it is like you're just transitioning into the next new thing.

Lesley Logan 8:06  

Okay, I've just like, I mean obsessed with everything you're talking about because I I think even if you were not a division one, you were a division one athlete, correct? (Emily: Correct ...) Yeah. Even if you were if you're listening like, "Lesley you know, Emily, I wasn't a division one athlete I just was trying really hard." It's still it's very similar like when you go from high school to college, there is structure to your day, you are a student there's an identity like there's things that we think about and then we get into the real world and all of a sudden we don't have structure to the day unless you have a job that like does that for you. But also like we do go through identity change and there there is so much psychological like, "Who am I? What does this mean?" And I was recently watching the documentary "The Weight of Gold." Have you seen that? That was (Emily: I love that one) that that was really emotional I have to be honest, I was like in tears on a plane which is basically the only time I watch things that make me cry and so people flying with me must think I'm crazy. But but I it's so I think that the average person doesn't understand when a star athlete even if it's in a small town, when a star athlete goes from you're the best at something and now you are a beginner or people just don't even remember you retire. And, so I I am so grateful that your book is existing because it can help so many people the person is coming out of high school like career to a college career to an Olympic career. Can we talk a little about the structure of the day because I do think that is where people struggle the most is like how to structure a day based around like when they're not going after, quote, unquote, "a goal of some kind like a race" like what are your best, like what did you have to do for yourself when you left collegiate sports?

Emily Coffman 9:46  

Yeah, so for everyone, I kind of visualize it as being this domino approach. So, when you have dominoes, whatever that first thing is that's kind of sets you off tips the first one over creates a chain reaction. And so you have to figure out kind of what that top domino is for you of where do you feel your best. What is that one thing that you're going to do that sets you up for a great day? Because for some people that's waking up early, and they do need that morning routine and waking up at the sunrise makes them feel great. (Lesley: That's me.) I'm not ... Yup, yup, see that's you (Lesley: Yeah) but that's not me. For me, the thing that's my top domino that will kind of create the rest of my life in order is if I make sure I do a workout every day, if I get in a sweat, then I automatically I'm going to shower and probably dress up a little bit. And then also because I worked out, I'm going to eat a little bit healthier. And then, you know, it's this progression. And so it's hard to say like, "Okay, your day needs X, Y, Z." But instead of trying to fit in five different things, identify like, "What's that top domino? What's that thing that's gonna progress the rest of your day?" And that's what you should fit in every day.

Lesley Logan 10:53  

So that makes so much sense because I do struggle when we're on like, vacation. Um, I have a really hard time, I have to get up and work out in the morning. It's not like I can't be on vacation. It's that like, I can't relax on the vacation if I didn't do like a walk on the beach or go for a walk. I'm like, I enjoy the hotel gym like and it's and it's and again, it's not because I can't relax. It's like, that is the domino that makes me feel like I gave myself what I need. I have the energy to take on whatever happens for the day so and I use I usually says like, "I like to beat the sun." Like, I feel, it feels really awesome. Like this morning the sun was peeking out behind the mountains as I was leaving my dorm, like, "Ooo, it's earlier than me." (Lesley laughs) So, you know, and that's like the little competition that I have with myself from my sports days, but that's a great way of looking at it. Like everyone gets to figure out what their top domino is. So thank you for sharing that. You know, um, what what sports did you play? What was your sport?

Emily Coffman 11:49  

I was a coxswain for the rowing team, if you know what that is.

Lesley Logan 11:51  

No, I don't. (Lesley laughs) (Emily: Okay, so for the rowing boat ...) I don't know rowing.

Emily Coffman 11:56  

Yeah, so the rowing boat is about 70 feet long and then with the oars, it's about 13 feet wide. So, it's a huge boat. And so, as the coxswain want the back of the boat, that steering it, that's instructing it and the only one facing forward and seeing where it's going. So that's what I did. So, I wasn't actually rowing the boat.

Lesley Logan 12:13  

Whoa, that's so that's a lot of pressure. (Lesley and Emily laughs)

Emily Coffman 12:18  

Yeah. And it's such a weird sport too, because I always feel like I was the least athletic athlete there is like I'm not actually like, you know, like sweating or working out or burning (Lesley: Right) calories when I'm at practice. It was kind of like this weird ...

Lesley Logan 12:32  

Like if you had to, you had to like work out when they were done working out. Like ... (Lesley laughs)

Emily Coffman 12:36  

Yeah, it's more like being a coach almost, too.

Lesley Logan 12:39  

Yeah, yeah, that's such a ... it's my, my cousin was into that. And I really, when I was (Where was I?) I was in New Zealand and I was watching the teams go out on the water. And it was just such a, it looks so cool and it looks like ... also looks like it's crazy hard and very competitive. Like, I'm sure there's a lot of things to think about. And so while you might have felt like the least athletic, you probably gonna be the most like, mindfully athletic there is in that. (Emily: Oh, yeah.) 

Lesley Logan 12:42  

So okay, so you decided to start a podcast during a pandemic. I feel like a lot of people had a lot of aspirations when the pandemic started, they're like, "Okay, this is when I'm going to work out, I'm going to clean up my closet, I'm going to learn a new language..." We are at the time of recording this over a year outside of that, those aspirations and a lot of people probably... they're back to their, like normal, their new normal lives and didn't do all of those things. And I think people are really hard on themselves, they're like, "I had these goals, and I couldn't even do that." So, how did you actually follow through with this goal? And then what would you say to people who maybe feel like, they can't keep a commitment to themselves?

Emily Coffman 13:47  

Yeah, so for me, I just try to take action before I overthink it. When I decided I wanted to start a podcast, I kind of learned the basics, right? What do I need? I got a microphone. How do I set it up, put up a website, like I did the bare minimum, and then I figured it out from there. And I think a lot of times we do the opposite. We are like, "Okay, I'm going to come up with the perfect title. And I'm going to come up with the perfect headline, and like pictures and all of that," which is great. And now I've done, you know, a year later. But the benefit of how I started was because you're taking action and you're learning what works as you go along. Because if I had an idea about a podcast for three years and then acted on it. Well, it would feel like I built myself up for this, right? I'm like, "Oh, I can't let myself down. You know, I've been thinking about this so long," whereas I acted immediately and maybe I would have put out five episodes and realize it's not for me. Okay, that was what a month of my life, two months of my life that would have been fine. But I enjoyed it. I ended up increasing the amount of episodes I put out. Then a year later I was like, "Actually, I'm not in love with the name. I'm not in love with this thing," and I could tweak it from there, but I only knew that, I only knew that I wanted to change all this stuff because I started to act on it. And so, I think that if someone's listening, and they're like, "Yes, I have these troubles keeping commitments to myself, it's almost, we build up the idea of all the things that need to get done." (Lesley: Yeah) We're like, "Oh, I have this huge to-do list and I need to go through it before I can actually accomplish that." And if you just start tackling it one by one, what is the quickest way to get there? What is the quickest way and can you do that now?

Lesley Logan 15:27  

Emily, you're speaking my language. You are like, first of all, somehow you ever answered two totally different questions in the same answer. So way to go. Impressive. But also like we are all that messy action. And perfect is boring here at be it ... I like, that is my thing. That is actually what is in part of all of the teachings that I do to help people like go from vision to a daily routine that supports their vision, right? And you it's true, like, I I was like, we're doing this podcast, we're just gonna do it. We had a different microphone, I had a different headset, we're doing a different thing. And the episodes that launch, I was like, "Well, I'm gonna practice what I preach. I'm gonna put it out there and it's imperfect. And I don't like the way it sounds and I don't like this" but that you if I waited until I had the right microphone, like first of all, I wouldn't even know if I the only reason we invested in is because I was like, "I'm having so much fun doing this. I want to do it better," and so it's totally right. I think people build it up too much. And then they, they can't that it's too big. And it's it feels like climbing Mount Everest and you've only ever climbed up one flight of stairs. And so that is an incredible insight. And I feel like it's if you want to learn new language, just start like download an app and see if you enjoy talking in a different language and if you enjoy learning, if you get curious and keep going if you don't, it's not a failure, you're not failure. It's just like that's actually not lighting you up. That's actually it was a good idea in in your mind.

Emily Coffman 16:51  

Yeah, cuz then you take that pressure off yourself of, okay, you can change, you can pivot, you can quit and all those things and try something new. Try the next thing, right? Like it's not like locking yourself in which I think is the biggest thing.

Lesley Logan 17:02  

Yeah, it's like um, so I have a friend Erika Quest, who always quotes "Humble the Poet." And it's like, we are not concrete, we are constructs. And I think it's, you know, it even goes back to like relationships, like the longer a relationship goes, the harder it is to end it. And it's like, "Well, actually, if you paid attention to the red flags in the beginning ... it probably would have been easier." We're like, "We've been together for five years, like I need to keep this going, or I've been I've invested so much money in this podcast, like I got all the right mics and all the right lighting, so I've got to keep going with it." And it's you know, the messy action that just taking action, so you can try it on. And I love that so much, that was a genius. So, um Emily, what is it that you're excited about right now? And what is your ultimate vision for Elite To Everyday Athlete?

Emily Coffman 17:52  

Yeah, so part of my planning, you know, I kind of said how I don't like to plan too much. And so I always look at kinda like the next three months. And so I try not to look too much further than that. But I try to always have a plan of "Okay, like, Where am I going?" And so the book is coming out at the end of August, which is, you know ...

Lesley Logan 18:08  

Stop that so soon? (Emily: Yeah, so it is says ...) It might even be when you're listening to this, it might already be out. (Lesley laughs)

Emily Coffman 18:15  

Yes, yes. Um, so "Elite to Everyday Athlete" will be coming out. And so kind of my whole focus right now is like, "Okay, how can I reach as many of these athletes as I can," because it'll be right around the time that the Olympics are done. So people are retiring from that, all the summer NCAA championships will be retiring for that. And so my goal now is like, "Okay, I took this book, and I know who .... will help" so now how can I get it to them and that's what I'm excited for.

Lesley Logan 18:45  

So that thank you for that. And this is really exciting. Everyone, you know, we are recording this. I think it's June, it my brain has never gotten to get back on a calendar since 2020. But um, so if this is after August, and go find her book, "Elite to Everyday Athlete." I want to talk to you though, because I think for a lot of people like writing a book again, sounds really awesome. Or even like, like being an author, right? And before this book, like had you written a book before?

Emily Coffman 19:15  

No. (Lesley: Okay) So I, it's like the most embarrassing thing I actually found the last piece of writing that I published, and it was when I was in high school, I was in the like, journalism class, I was part of the newspaper, and it was a 200 word. (Lesley and Emily laughs) I probably turned it in just to get like a C in the class. Like, I was so against writing, but it wasn't that I had an aspiration to write a book. It was I had an aspiration to get this message seen.

Lesley Logan 19:18  

I love that, okay, because, um, you know, I think a lot of people would be it's very easy to be like, "Okay, well and I have my book, then I'll have this" and I believe that you have to go, you have to act as if you have written the book. And then that way you have, you know all the things. So how, how did you set your mind up and yourself up and your schedule up to actually approach something you've never done, something you really never thought you'd do? Like, what was that process for you?

Emily Coffman 20:17  

Yeah, I love this question because it always relates back to me for fitness. So, how I like show up at the gym and how I set my fitness goals is how it shows up in the rest of my life. And so, as an athlete, you know, I would go to the gym every day, no matter if I was feeling like it or not. And some days I would go when I don't feel like it, and it turned out to be a great workout. And some days I showed up and I didn't feel like it. And you know what, maybe I could only give 50%. But I went regardless and so I used that same approach with my writing. I would set time, three times a week, like an hour block, "Okay, this is what I'm going to write." And when the time came, was I inspired sometimes, yes, sometimes if the words were flowing, and sometimes it wasn't, but I already had made that commitment to myself, just like I had done for the gym, if you're going to show up regardless, and if something subpar comes out of it, well, at least it's better than nothing. And sometimes, you'll get a masterpiece when you weren't expecting it. And so I think that breaking down whatever new goal you have, or whatever new thing you're trying to take on with the same mindset of what has worked for you in the past? Because I'm sure that there's something that you've been good at. Are you good at budgeting? Have you been good at your job? What about relationship building, whatever those fundamentals were there, you can apply to that new goal.

Lesley Logan 21:31  

Oh, my goodness, it's like we share a brain. I'm not kidding. Like, I it's really true. Like, when I when I teach my Online Pilates Classes all, I'll say, "You know, if you can't do this exercise, do some that you can do." And we'll also find out what exercises the people in the in my members can do well, and I'll make a whole reason that that exercise can help them with the things that they can't do, or they think they can't do. Because it's true, like we can, we can take something that we're really strong at somewhere else, and use it to be the momentum or the fuel, or at least get us there. And I I really love that. But it's true when you're an athlete, you show up to the practice, no matter what you don't go, "Ah, I don't really feel like it today, you're like, nope, gotta go, gotta go for the team got to go because I got this race coming up, whatever." And, and that is a mentality that we have with us. If we just apply it to other things, you know, we can all figure that out. And it's those reps, you know, like, just the reps of showing up. Sandra Chuma was on and she was talking about, like, just the even thought, like, even if you think about writing, so like for you, just the thought about, "Oh, I'm gonna write today," even if you didn't do it, you go, "I'm so proud of myself for thinking about doing it." Because it actually does help the brain want to show up tomorrow for that thing.

Emily Coffman 22:45  

Yeah, exactly. And that's another thing too, right? Just like thinking about it. Like, those are the ways that you can be easy on yourself, make it fun, like, if you force yourself into it, you're not gonna enjoy, you're not gonna want to sit down the next time to write. So if you are tackling something big, and you do it in smaller steps, like, be proud of yourself every time you work on it.

Lesley Logan 23:06  

Yeah, I agree. I think that's, you know, for ... I think, you know, as an athletic perspective, and I feel like athletes, I find are a little harder on themselves, like for those smaller things. And you're right, like when they go from the on the top, and then they're a beginner at something again. What is it like, what do you think that is? Like, how do what is the thing that we could tap into that makes that being a beginner "Okay" or, you know, how do we get that switch going?

Emily Coffman 23:34  

Yeah, I think that it's just something that we learned by like talking about and normalizing because athletics is something different, we're in a lot of other careers, you wouldn't train at something for 15 years, you wouldn't go to school to be a doctor for eight years, and then work for five years, and then "Oh, you got to retire" and find something new. Like, it's just something that you don't see and a lot of other places. And so, I think that you know, it can feel like sometimes like, "I'll never be good at anything again. I'll never get passionate about something like that again." But just reme... keep reminding yourself a where you were at the beginning of your journey, you (Lesley: Yeah) didn't show up to the first day of practice and try to try out for varsity, you showed up probably just running around the field running around the track. And then you enjoyed that. So you did it again and you did it again. And so that's I have to find the next thing. You don't find it because you're like, "This is the next thing I want to be good at. But this is the next thing I enjoy and want to spend more time doing."

Lesley Logan 24:27  

Ah, that, again, less pressure on the thing, like you're not saying, "Okay, this is the next thing I'm gonna try to like, perfect." I was watching an Olympic athlete I think it's Lolo Jones. She like was a track star and then she's now like a bobsled... and I'm like, "Wow, that has to be, I feel like that has to be really hard to go from one sport where you're the top to another sport and try to be at the top already because that's like where you are in your career." And then like and then what and so I was thinking to myself like, "I really struggled like with why I quit sports. I really had a hard time with it because I was like, but I'm not a quitter" and it's like ... I don't know why like that's like a thing that you know you're ... like, "I'm not a quitter" and it's like, "No, actually I'm just moved on" you know, it's something this is actually really funny I was walking my dogs this morning and we I turn them around early. We didn't go all the way to the end of the street I like turn around early and they were kind of pulling I'm like, "I know you want to finish but we actually we're not quitting, we're just doing new route like that's all we're doing today it's take a new route" and I was like I know I'm a crazy person who talks to our dogs but like you know I'm also saying to myself, "It's like just because you didn't finish," in air quotes, "doesn't mean you quit it just you know that's the route you're doing today and like be really like kind to yourself."

Emily Coffman 25:43  

Yeah, I love that that's exactly how you have to phrase it like I think that's once again when we set ourselves up for something and then when we're actually doing it it's like, "Actually it's might look a little different. I'm being okay with that."

Lesley Logan 25:53  

Yeah. All right. So, well we could keep talking because I there's so much that you like that you're saying that I totally support and you know subscribe to and I feel like a lot of our listeners are even if they weren't athletes they have that perfectionist mindset that like, "I got to do it right. It has to be right and it has he perfect," I know I'm just saying the same things but like that's what's in their brain, right? Like that's what's going on and that holds them back. Where can people find you? What's your favorite social media platform? Where where can they get more information about your book?

Emily Coffman 26:26  

Yeah for some free resources on how to start going about this, some journaling prompts the first chapter of my book all for free at elitetoeverydayathlete.com and then if you want to follow me on social media it's @liveyourpb or at Live Your Personal Best can follow me there.

Lesley Logan 26:42  

I love that live ... I you know it's true all athletes and fitness instructors we do like cute plays on words but like "Live Your Personal Best" is like I mean of course like that's just what an athlete is always going for so that is so fun. This conversation is great. You are amazing. You're such a light and easy to you break things down in such an easy way. I can't wait to hear what people's first dominoes are so you're def... everyone please definitely share that with us on on Instagram and tag Emily and myself. Okay, so I asked everyone this because it's so fun to be inspired. You have given some great tips already but what would be like if you're if you're like going to tell somebody one or two things like what would be the thing that they could Be It Till You See It. So, BE IT for me something as bold, executable ... it's intrinsic, motivation or targeted approach. So, what do you have for us?

Emily Coffman 27:32  

Yeah, so whatever that one thing is that you've been wanting to do maybe you've put it off or you don't feel like you're ready for yet. I would say just go for it now and that's not something big of like, "Oh I want to quit my job" but it's like showing up for a comedy class or trying a new workout or something like that. What you should take from this conversation is that you can just start now, start without the pressure, start without the commitment and start just because you're interested in it. And so, I hope that if you're listening there's something that you're interested in and to go out and try it.

Lesley Logan 28:03  

Oh yeah, no, absolutely it's so funny you say comedy class like, "I was like I think I'm going to be a comedian." I people say I'm funny. I'm gonna go do that and I went to the comedy class. I went to three of them and the reality is as well there is a natural talent there y'all I will pat myself on the back. I legitimately don't like to stay up late and when you're starting as a comedian you are definitely going on at like 1 am, 2 am, 3 am and then even when you're like, like have made it, you're still at eight, nine, it's a nightlife and I am not a night person and I was like, "I just don't want to wait to be known enough to be the noon lunch comedian" like I just that's not it. And so thankfully I only did three weeks but I was able to start it and like see if I liked it, tried it on, so that advice is so applicable. I hope you all do it. Emily thank you so much for this conversation. We'll have to have you back, we'll have to talk more about this there's so much alignment and I'm really just so thrilled for your book and what you're up to it's it's amazing and y'all she did all of this it was like a pandemic with her. So everything anything is possible you just have to get started like Emily said, and what I would love for you to screenshot this episode. Share it on the gram. Tag Emily at ... Can you say your Instagram handle one more time. It's also in the show notes. (Emily: @liveyourpb) @liveyourpb, super easy and the @be_it_pod. Tag us both with your takeaway so that we can see what you're working on next. And until the next time, Be It Till You See It.

Lesley Logan 29:35  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan 30:03  

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell 30:07  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 30:15  

Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell 30:21  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 30:29  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell 30:41  

And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

How do you know when you're overcommitted? What should therapy be like? Are you outsourcing your worth? Lesley and Brad cover all of this in today's recap of Amber Shaw's episode.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How do you know when you're overcommitted?
• Xuxa (she's Brazilian, not Australian like LL mentioned in the show)
• Therapy is like laundry...
• Food is more than just calories
• Stop outsourcing your worth and value to a scale...

Episode References/Links:

• Pop Up Pilates Tour, join our email list
• Xuxa
• The Four Tendencies by Gretchen Rubin
• Amber's website

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Hey, Be It pod listener, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being you. Thanks for watching our podcast here on our YouTube channel. I'm just so grateful for you. I have a big favor, and I'm, I mean like, let me just say, "It's not easy for me to ask for help," but I need your help. I'm on a mission, I really want to change as many lives and help people be it till they see it all over the world, and I need your help. We have been so grateful. The amount of downloads our podcast has had in just a short period of time is, it's amazing. That's insane. However, we also need more written reviews. So, and specifically on Apple. So even if you are watching here on YouTube, or you listen on Spotify, or you listen on Google Play, Apple podcast is where everyone looks to see which podcasts they should send people on for interviews. And, so we need lots of reviews to be there like a hundred written reviews. So, big huge favor if you could give us the link below, go write a review, rate us, give us all the stars you love and let me know. Screenshot it, send it to me on a @be_it_pod. I just want to thank you for the bottom of my heart. We are truly, truly can't do this podcast without you. And, I'm just so grateful that these words hit your ears. And if you wouldn't mind writing us that review that would be amazing. And, I will be so forever grateful. Thank you and now here's the podcast you wanted to listen to.

Lesley Logan 1:19  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 2:04  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co hosts in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the infectious convo I have an Amber Shaw (Brad: Oh yeah) (The good kind of infectious by the way.) (Brad laughs) in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now and go figure out how to listen to that one on whatever podcast platform you listen to, and then come back and join us. Or, I think sometimes if you listen to this one, and you just keep listening, it will just go through the list. It depends. I actually don't know how to work my own podcast app. So you know, let us know.

Brad Crowell 2:38  

If you're looking at all episodes of a podcast, they will just go to the next one. (Lesley: That's true.) Yeah. But if wha... if you're looking at your (Lesley: Leave it in) what's going to be played next, then it's gonna ... jump from pod to pod.

Lesley Logan 2:48  

This is why we have Brad everyone. That's why we have him.

Brad Crowell 2:51  

It is a party.

Lesley Logan 2:52  

Okay, so y'all, we're actually gearing up to plan our road trip. This is our fourth year road tripping our fifth year road tripping? (Brad: Four) Four, this is the only the fourth time (Brad: Yeah) that we've done this nonsense. (Brad: Yeah) Okay, so y'all back in 2018, I was in protest about flying to the East Coast. It's a long story, but you cannot get a flight to Philly from LAX under $1,000, nonstop. So $1,000 with a stop, usually in a state that has snow storms, and always ...

Brad Crowell 3:23  

Like Detroit or something like that. Chicago...

Lesley Logan 3:25  

Chicago, Denver and always a red eye. We never got one during the day. (Brad: Yeah) And twice, the only times I've ever fallen asleep on a plane. There was an emergency, and all the lights turn on. (Brad laughs) And even Brad was like, "Are you kidding me?" So in 2018, I said, "I would not go back unless we drove." And Brad said, "Okay." So we rented too small of a vehicle and drove across the country with two dogs. We didn't have three yet and it was so fun. It was so fun. And the whole time we went I was being DM on Instagram, "Are you teaching classes?" And I thought, "Oh, people people are home during the holiday." So then the following year, we did a pop-up. And we did eight city tour and it was so fun. And then obviously year number three. Well, we all know what 2020 was. So we're back, we are road tripping again. We road trip last time but this time we're going to take more than two and a half days to get across country. (Brad: Yes) And we're gonna make some stops.

Brad Crowell 4:26  

We are, we're gonna make some stops and they're they're not, they're not locked in just yet. But we've got ...

Lesley Logan 4:31  

 No, so there's still time to get your city on the list.

Brad Crowell 4:34  

And we've got quite, we've got an exciting schedule. (Lesley: Yeah) That's gonna take us from (Lesley: Here) Vegas up to New York City (Lesley: Yeah) to down to Miami. (Lesley: Yeah) And then (Lesley: Through Texas) coming back across across the country there. So ...

Lesley Logan 4:52  

What is set in stone is Atlanta on the 28th? (Brad: Right) And somewhere outside of Philly on the 19th and a Miami hot spot. It's hot on the 30th. But other than that's all I can say. So if you are excited about that, then you're gonna want to get on the list. You know, just below there's a show note, get on the list on our email, we will let our email peeps know exactly when is, when, what is happening and how to snag your spot.

Brad Crowell 5:22  

Yeah, yeah, just make sure you're on our email list. And you'll find out about it for sure.

Lesley Logan 5:26  

I'm so excited you can get on the list. You can get that free class and then you'll just be automatically on a list and you do the workout, (Brad: It's work too. Yeah) Yeah that's that. So um, anyways, okay, so what question do we have this week?

Brad Crowell 5:39  

Alright, so this week, the first question we had was, "Wha... How do you know if you are over committed?"

Lesley Logan 5:48  

Yeah. So I, I got this question, actually, from our panel we had at the house. We had a pop-up at the house, our first one. (Brad: Oh) And this question was asked to me and the other amazing women on the panel, one who's been on the podcast, and one who's gonna be on the podcast. So shout out to Erica and Megan. And they had great answers, but I thought it'd be fun for us to share the answers with all of you. So, how do you know if you're over committed? This is like a really interesting question. I think sometimes, you know, after you've over committed. (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 6:24  

Usually, that's how it happens when things start falling out of the sky, figuratively, you know, meaning plates start dropping, then you start to realize, "Oh, I'm not being effective. I'm actually not serving anyone." Definitely know how that goes, having had three business partners and a spouse with three different companies and a spouse who had a company too. And I really was kind of spinning, spinning my wheels. I was still making everything.. Like, I was meeting deadlines, generally speaking, but nothing was growing. It wasn't actually, you know, it was a crazy couple of years of, you know, non-stop all day long, kind of a non-sustainable effort. And by by pulling back and shifting, focusing, suddenly, one thing started to grow. And that was very exciting to see. It also made me kick myself because I didn't need to wait two years to figure that out.

Lesley Logan 7:28  

He means (Brad: Three?) working with me. And (Brad: I do) you know, it made me think of okay, so very few people will remember this. But if you are listening to this, and you remember this show, let me know. So when I was a little girl, there was a show called Xuxa. And it was like a talk show like, I don't know what you call those shows, variety shows. And she was Australian host and her name was like Xuxu. And somehow that was Xuxa. I don't know. It's an Aussie thing maybe I'm wrong. Australian listeners, Jojo I hear I know you're listening when your dog walk, let me know. If you remember this, it would be 30 years ago. Anyways, she had these tall boots and she had this guest on and he had all these plates on a stick. And he was like, run around the stage. And he would like spin a plate and he'd run around and the whole thing was like, "How long can he keep all the plates spinning before they fell?" And it was thrilling and stressful for nine year old all at the same time. And that's what came to my mind while you were telling your story... (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 8:28  

Wow. Okay, I'm not I'm not gonna look that up. But I'm gonna take your word for for that.

Lesley Logan 8:33  

Anyways, I want to know, who knows who Xuxa is. And if you watch the show, and you remember that person. Okay, um, 100% I think what one of the guests at our, at our panel Megan said was like, when you get resentful, like when you're like when you when you go to do the thing. And you're resentful that you said "yes" to the thing – that is a sign you over committed. I think crying is a sign you're over committed.

Brad Crowell 8:58  

Right. Overwhelmed that like incredible overwhelm. (Lesley: That overwhelm) Debilitating.

Lesley Logan 9:02  

Yeah. Because you know, like, this is exciting and also, you're so tired. And so for me, I've gotten a lot better when I shared with the group who was here at the house. As I said, "I'm so grateful for my husband" because he's just like, "You could just cancel." And like he's a rebel, if you know "The Four Tendencies" someday Gretchen Rubin will come, or will respond to an email (if I send one to her.) And so don't, don't shout her out. Like I haven't actually emailed to ask her - but, she wrote the book, "The Four Tendencies" and Brad's a rebel and I'm an upholder, which means if I say, "I'm gonna do something. I'm gonna do it whether I told you or not." And it's very hard for me to let go of something I said "yes" to and Brad has taught me that it's okay to cancel something and what I said to the group was like, "We're not brain surgeons. It's okay." If we say, "I'm so sorry. I know I said yes to this but can we do it a different time because it's it's not life or death." So anyways, I loved that question that we got the panel and I wanted to share it with you. So I hope you enjoy I'd love to know your responses.

Brad Crowell 10:01  

Yeah. Okay, now let's talk about Amber Shaw. Amber Shaw who we both know (Lesley: We love Amber) IRL, is on a mission to help women find food freedom by skipping the dieting vortex. She is a mom of two, divorcee and ex corporate saleswoman turn entrepreneur and podcast host. She is a force, her energy is infectious, and you will fall in love with her very straightforward personality and her advice. It was a very fun episode. (Lesley: Did you like it?) I did. I mean, I also know her personality from hanging out with her. And so it was I could I could actually see her, you know, in my mind, like being herself (Lesley: Yeah) together with you. I thought it was great. Or you can watch it on YouTube. (Lesley: Yeah, yeah) I was not producing it from the video, I was producing it from the audio. (Lesley: Yeah) But ... (Brad laughs)

Lesley Logan 10:53  

As we do. But it is, she is amazing. And I actually, we met her together in person in real life in Austin, Texas earlier this year, and the two of you are like karaoke lovers. So I was so grateful for her because it's like, "Bye." (Lesley and Brad laughs) Anyways, one of the things I love that she talked about was therapy and the importance of it, and I, I think I will, every time someone brings up therapy make this a point that I love, because (Brad: Sure) as I tell my therapist, therapy needs to rebrand for whatever reason, we think you go to therapy when you're broken, but like, therapy is like, laundry, you just, you should just keep doing it. So you, you know, cuz then when you're in need ...

Brad Crowell 11:33  

Because then you run out of socks.

Lesley Logan 11:35  

Yeah, you otherwise like, maybe some people do therapy. Like they do their laundry like they wait till they're out of socks, out of underwear, all the things. But if you keep up with the therapy and your laundry at the same time, then it's kind of nice maintenance. And so I just think that no matter what month it is, I don't care. It's Mental Health Awareness Month or regular month. Therapy is something I will always love when when people bring it up. And you too should find a therapist.

Brad Crowell 12:03  

That's a great rebrand.

Lesley Logan 12:05  

Yeah, on laundry. (Brad laughs) Therapy is like a laundry. Keep doing it regularly. (Brad: I love that) (Lesley laughs) Do it so you don't run out of underwear. (Brad and Lesley laughs) What's another tagline we could go? Therapy, it's it's like you're I don't know. I'm not good at this. I'm not a marketing person (Brad: Yeah) anyways, it comes out or it doesn't. Okay, that's I love. What did you love?

Brad Crowell 12:25  

That was really funny. Okay, I I was I was laughing really hard. Well, I was laughing really hard... Well, I was laughing really hard about you about that. But she said something that I really connected with, and I have shared on the pod before. So I'm not going to tell my whole story on that here. But she said it was obvious that she wasn't eating enough calories. And you know, that's a it's, it's funny, I wonder if that goes hand in hand with, you know, for actually, you know what, for me that happened after I while while I was going through a divor... a divorce for her, that was just the way she grew up. You know, she was basically completely connected with magazines and diets and working out and all the things to the point of obsession where it was detrimental to her and she wasn't eating enough. But what I wanted to talk about instead was stop looking at food as calories in and calories out, which also something that she she shared. And I think that the that's not something I ever had to personally tackle. I actually had to do the reverse where I had to start counting calories because I wasn't eating enough calories. When I got to the point where I felt like I was eating enough calories, then I just kind of stopped doing that. But I I think that the she talks about freedom with food. And she talks about building up your your food experience, your relationship with food to the point where you can splurge on a Thursday night and not freak out about it, you know, not freak out about the calories that you may have consumed because you're on a regimen for the rest of the week, you know, or whatever, you're, you're being consistent about it. And I just wanted to encourage you know, others who are really dealing with that kind of a association with food to connect with Amber. (Lesley: Yeah) Because she, you know, I'm clearly not the spokesperson for that but she is and she has come through quite a journey, a relationship with food to where she can enjoy eating, (Lesley: Yeah) and it became very obvious from listening to her story.

Brad Crowell 12:26  

Well, I have brought on a couple we've had Giselle before with Amber (Brad: Giselle as well, sure.) We got someone coming up, because ladies, (excuse me, ladies) ladies, we keep outsourcing our worth and value to a scale and we have to stop, like the size your jeans doesn't determine the amazingness that you are. And being it till you see it, you cannot do that if you're like, allowing a number on a scale or what's on your plate to determine if you did a good job today or not. And so I will continue to bring these amazing women on until we have overcome this thing. And it might take us years because I was definitely raised with the magazines and with the with the women and I told Jen Jennifer van Barneveld-Pe, I said, "I grew up with these magazines and I'd rip out the articles and I was trying to be these girls" and and you know what, I actually can't blame the magazines because I'll be really honest, I was listening to her and another woman talk on Jenny's podcast this week, that we actually are sometimes we're inferring a different thing. Like I was listening, I was looking at fitness magazines and I was inferring a different size on these women than was actually there and so I think we have to take ownership of that and have some more fun in our lives. And and not judge like every meal based on like, whether that was enough because we have bigger things to do than worry about that. So I'm glad that that was your takeaway and yes, reach out to Amber, she's freaking awesome. (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 16:24  

... freaking awesome.

Lesley Logan 16:26  

Amber's freakin' awesome. Amber's freakin' awesome. We will not make fun that right one. (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 16:31  

... that just happen. Okay. All right. So finally, let's talk about the BE IT action items you discussed with Amber Shaw. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items, can we take away from your convo with her? (Lesley: She had so many.) She she did. She actually had quite a list and she and she said, "Consistency is the name of the game with moderation and satisfaction." And I thought that was awesome. You know, because it's like a step by step approach. But that's not what I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about, you know, something that I personally have experienced, which was the divorce scen... scenario. And she said, it's so hard, especially when you're in it, you know, in life is a mess. And, you know, she said to grow, ask yourself, "Why am I going through this? What lesson can I learn here? What is the purpose of this?" And first off, I just want to say if you can ask yourself that, you know, right away, you are more objective than I.

Lesley Logan 17:40  

You're being it till you see it. You don't even need this podcast. (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 17:43  

Yeah, yeah, because I certainly couldn't look at it from the a third party perspective. Until I had had actually started to just kind of my life was wearing, my life was beginning to fall apart and my my relationships, my work, my friends, everyone started to see, like me getting frayed. And it wasn't until that point, which was, you know, six, eight months in that I really started to realize I can't do this forever, I can't maintain this lie, that everything's fine. And nobody needs to know. You know, the, the, my, you know, the, what I was going through with my divorce. And it was only at that time that I began to say, "Alright, what's, you know, what's the other side is look like," you know, "Okay, I am going to get a divorce. There's no way around that. What does that mean for me? How ..."

Lesley Logan 18:37  

It means you get to marry me. (Lesleyt laughs) (Brad: Yeah) He didn't know me yet. Don't worry, don't freak out. It wasn't that ...

Brad Crowell 18:42  

I did not. But you know, and that was kind of the beginning of the change in in me. And so anyway, I would encourage you if you're going through something really dark and it's you know, haunting you, if you can write down, "Why am I going through this?" and then write it down. Because it's hard to just think about it because I know the thoughts just go in circles and you know, you review every conversation, everything that ever happened around it. But what lesson can I learn here and what is the purpose of this?

Lesley Logan 19:12  

I love that you said write it down because it's true. You're going to replay everything in your head and that's actually the worst place to replay it. (Brad: Oh, yeah) Get it. Your pe... cuz your skull is only so big. Get it out and put on paper. You have more paper than you have space.

Brad Crowell 19:23  

Yeah. And if you have trouble sleeping, you know, put on some music. And instead of letting your mind wander, focus on the music. Because that was something that my mind. I mean, I could I could lay awake in bed for hours and hours just like thinking. And if you are instead focusing on something else, intentionally focusing on the music, let's say then you're not letting your mind dwell on you know, the pain. So

Lesley Logan 19:50  

Yeah. I love that takeaway. My biggest takeaway was I love the way she says it too, because she's got that accent from she's got that accent. It's so good. She's like, take some damn time for yourself. (Brad: Yeah) Did I do it well? ... Amber let me know if that was good enough. (Brad laughs) Um, y'all, seriously, of course I would love this as a takeaway. It is so important, especially right now, especially right now, if you're listening to this in timestamp order. It's almost Thanksgiving in the States, which means it's almost Christmas no matter where you live in this planet. And this is when people be crazy. There's a lot of demands, you feel like there's all these things you have to do. There's some traditions, there's probably some recipes you're supposed to be making from scratch because who knows what. No. Before you ...

Brad Crowell 20:35  

Your in-law's famous apple pie that you somehow got saddled with making and bringing to dinner...

Lesley Logan 20:40  

You know what my parents did that I like, have always thought was genius as a kid. They just always signed up to bring bread. So look, listen to me, look ... and I'm like look if you're on the YouTube. Listen, if you're on the podcast, you must this is the, if you don't do it any other part of the year, this is a part of the year to take some damn time for yourself! Seriously, you will lose your mind, you do not want to be the person who like lose their mind. If you have seen home for the holidays, I'm telling you it's a thing I watch every Thanksgiving. If you do not (Brad: She does) take some damn time for yourself. You're going to be that mean sister who ends up with like Turkey, just, juice all over her pretty dress, crying, we'll everyone's laughing. But not but like also they are because it's just like, no one's taking time for themselves. And everyone's like get that's how I feel on the inside. So that's my Be It action item. Take some damn time for yourself.

Brad Crowell 21:32  

Skip the turkey dressing ... (Lesley: Please) Yeah.

Lesley Logan 21:34  

Yeah. Just bring some bread. I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell 21:38  

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 21:39  

Thank you so much for joining us today. We are so freaking grateful for you and it's a month of gratitude. But we are grateful to you all the time. How can you use these tips in your life? What are your favorite takeaways? Screenshot this tag us, tag Amber Shaw. Let us know because it really does mean the world to us. And it's the best way you could thank us. And we will see you on the next episode.

Brad Crowell 21:57  

Bye for now.

Lesley Logan 22:00  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan 22:28  

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell 22:32  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 22:39  

Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell 22:45  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 22:54  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the videos each week so you can.

Brad Crowell 23:05  

And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Are you stuck in that dieting cycle, jumping from one to the next? Is your relationship with food constantly something you are obsessing over? Meet Amber Shaw, a health and wellness expert. She and Lesley dig through finding food freedom, skipping the dieting vortex, creating consistency, moderation and satisfaction in your food choices.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Finding food freedom
• Skip the dieting vortex
• Not eating enough calories
• Turning 40
• You are at the right place at the right time
• Therapy
• Putting yourself first
• Stop looking at food as calories in and calories out
• Constantly dieting 

Episode References/Links:

• Amber on TikTok
• Amber on IG
• Amber's website
• Amber's podcast, The Wellness Revolution

Guest Bio:

Amber is a Body Transformation Expert and Founder of The Wellness Revolution, a leading global movement for thousands of women to empower them to rediscover their confidence and create a body that looks as good as it feels (inside and out)!

She has extensively coached thousands of women 40+ from all across the world to get off the crazy train of dieting and find true food freedom so they can feel empowered, confident and sexy.

As a Nationally Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach and a Certified Personal Trainer, Amber is committed to overhauling the diet culture. Her mission is to help millions of women worldwide heal their relationship with food and themselves while empowering them to transform their lives, love their bodies and create lasting results.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Hey you, welcome back to Be It Till You See It. Aahhh. I can't get over that I get to do this as par... as like part of my living. I love talking to you, I truly do. I also am obsessed with the takeaways that you are sharing with me on all the things, whether it is on Instagram and tagging @be_it_pod or it is on our YouTube channel, or it's on Facebook. And you know, however you want to get a hold of me to share with me your takeaways, I will take it because I want to make it easy for you. And, I also believe that when we write things down that it sticks with us, and so thank you for being a listener first and foremost. And if this is your first podcast, you're listening to us. Well hello, and welcome to Be It Till You See It. Today's guest is an epic woman and I cannot wait for you to hear her strategies for you to Be It Till You See It. Oh my gosh. I literally, I literally hung up with her and I went and did one of them. And so you'll have to guess which one I did. I'd love to hear it. But her name is Amber Shaw and she is someone that I think so many of you will resonate with. She was in corporate sales for 16 years. She is a mom and she went through divorce right before her 40th birthday. And she used all of that to propel her on this journey and this mission on this planet. And it is so filled with purpose and she is such an awesome human being so I can't wait for you to dive into this episode. Please do us a huge favor and after you listen to it, share us your takeaways. I know it will not only make Amber's day, it'll totally make mine and you never know who's going to see that post you do and it's going to light a fire under them and it's going to be the sign that they needed to do the thing which is Be It Till You See It. So here comes the amazing interview with Amber Shaw right after this message.

Lesley Logan 1:53  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 2:36  

Alright. Welcome to Be It Till You See It. I'm so thrilled to have Amber Shaw here. Y'all, she is someone I don't even know if we would ever met had I not been like, "What's this thing? Who's this person? Okay, I love her. I'm going to sign up for this mastermind," and then got my booty down to Austin, Texas and got to meet her and definitely left her on a night on the town with my husband and some other people that go karaoke, but that's who she is. She's so much fun. She's full of life and I can't even wait for you to know her. Amber, welcome to the podcast.

Amber Shaw 3:10  

Oh my gosh, I am so fired up to be here. Yes, that infamous night in Austin. It was a blast, you I think you got out in the nick of time. (Lesley: I did. I'm really good at that.) Well like you did like yeah, I woke up the next day. I was like, "Damn, I should have gone home when Lesley went home." (Amber laughs)

Lesley Logan 3:26  

I'm like the queen of Irish goodbyes. I started my 20s and I mean, I guess now I do say, "Bye. I'm going." (Lesley laughs) (Amber: Yeah, yeah) I'm definitely known for we've been out at karaoke and I just call an Uber and I'm like, "Gotta go, my driver's here." (Lesley laughs) 

Amber Shaw 3:42  

Yeah. Like that that's not me. Like I'm like, "Where's the next party?" Like, "I gotta I gotta get this going." Hahaha ..."

Lesley Logan 3:47  

Well, Amber. So tell us aside from like being amazing life lover and a party queen. Who are you? What do you do? How what are you up to right now?

Amber Shaw 3:58  

Yeah, love thank you. So yes, I am a nationally board certified health and wellness coach. I'm also a certified certified personal trainer, and I'm a body transformation expert for women over 40. Really my mission in life is to help women really get off the crazy train of dieting and heal their relationship with food and themselves so that they can really be the most competent and sexy version that they can. So, it's my life's work.

Lesley Logan 4:28  

Obsessed with that as someone who grew up with family members who dieted constantly (Lesley laughs) (Amber: Yes) and so my relationship with food was not super awesome. Again, you know, I had to like really rework that and rework how I thought about food with my body, how it was, became fuel, and it's definitely difficult and I think that it's really one of those things that stops women from doing things in life is this constant obsession of like, "What I can eat? What I can't eat? What is the scale say?" Like that constant whirlwind in the brain is taking up space that allows them to show up on this planet and do what they're here for.

Amber Shaw 5:08  

Oh, my God, I mean, absolutely, you know, I talk so much about this with my platforms my different platforms. And then when I coach women about really finding food freedom, and if you are somebody that's been in that dieting vortex for most of your life, when I say food freedom, you understand what that means. Because I think so many of us have been a slave to food and just our body image issues and a slave to the scale. And it's yeah, it's definitely, it absolutely stifles your growth that absolutely, like you said, prevents you from being who you're meant to be. And I can tell you that it wasn't until I really took that bull by the horns and tried to heal that piece of me - because of you know, years of having eating disorders and being on every diet on the plan and all of that - it really wasn't until I was able to heal that part of me that I was able to fully step into my power as a woman, as a coach, as a mentor, as all of these things. So yeah, absolutely.

Lesley Logan 6:11  

So how, so tell me how you got into like, even wanting to be on that journey and how you got into doing it for others? Like what was what was the impetus? What got you to go, "I'm really over this right now."

Amber Shaw 6:23  

Yeah, you know, so how do you say like, my story, I think, like my, how I got here is really kind of it started when I was a kid, it's kind of like a, it was like kind of the whole journey since I was a kid. And then there was an event that happened later in life that really kind of triggered it and sent it over the edge. And I will say that, you know, I know you mentioned growing up you had like family members that, you know, always were talking about dieting, and I had a very similar situation, no fault of their own. I think there's a lot of, you know, not as much awareness now about talking about that sort of thing in front of little girls. But so from the age of 10 years old, I was a lot bigger than a lot of the other girls not overweight, but just I mean, my 13 I always say I was like 5'7", I had boobs. Like, I looked like I was 18, right? And so, I just, I always felt, I just... I felt not very comfortable in my skin. And this really, really progressed, you know, to when I was 15 being on my first calorie restricted diet that I didn't even know I was doing. I just I knew that like the foods I was eating were very low in calories and apparently that's what I thought I had to do.

Lesley Logan 7:24  

Oh, when I was a teenager, it was when like the 100 calorie snack packs. Were really like the Snack Wells. You know, that was the whole thing. Yeah, I was like, "Ooh."

Amber Shaw 7:31  

Yeah, totally. Yeah, like going to like, you know, Subway and getting like a veggie sub only because that was the smallest amount of calories on the thing, like, and it just really continued to progress for me until I got into my 20s. And I started, you know, with bulimia and I always say like, I was very fortunate that I could, I had access to the resources, professional resources to really get, you know, stop the physical act of the binging and purging. But I never really healed I think that the mental piece of that. And I by that point, I was just very, very unhappy in my skin, and just really always bouncing from one diet to the next. (Lesley: Yeah) And always searching to be something a body other than my own, like whether it was I was chasing five pounds, whether it was chasing 10 pounds, whether I was wanting to be, you know, this, whatever it was, right. And so this really progressed even more so, even all the way through to where I had kids and I gained a pretty good amount of weight with both kids about 65 pounds with both. And I got the weight off, but I was just really, really unhealthy in my body. And just really just not just unhappy, very unhappy.

Lesley Logan 8:47  

Yeah, I resonate with that, because I definitely did not feel comfortable in my skin most of the time. Like, I just, I exercised as my way of like, because I didn't want to be on a diet, so I exercised. (Amber: Yeah) And I thought that was healthy. And it is like but I also, you know, I think I was using exercise and athleticism in a different, like different way, you know. And so even though it wasn't hours at the gym, or hours working out, it was definitely like, this is my reward or this is what I do, you know, as opposed to that's not how I work out now. I work out now because it fuels me, gives me energy, it like ... I love the dopamine, here I'm like, my brain is like, "Wooo," you know, I'm and I don't see it that way. But I feel like, I look back and I go wow, I just really was not comfortable in my body and I grew... So, I was so tall and I think that's part of it. I was like 5'9" as a 14 year old. (Amber: Even I) And so you just don't feel like you're like, "I don't even know what this body is. It's so uncomfortable." And like, you know, bless my family, but like one of them's like, "Oh, you got boobs" and it's like, "I don't actually want you to see that." (Amber: Yeah, yeah) Like I, "Who said that's okay to say?" (Lesley laughs)

Amber Shaw 9:56  

Right, right. Yeah, I mean exactly. I mean, I think at that age you want so badly just to fit in. And so, you know, you don't want to be bigger than the boys or bigger than the girls and so yeah, it starts to mess with you for sure. So, you know, for me, right around that time in my 30s, I got married. And, and, and I was, you know, things were I had two children, had a great marriage, and right about 2018 my marriage completely fell apart. And I was at that time, I was 39 and so right around the corner was my 40th birthday. And so I found myself in this period of my life where I, and I didn't realize at the time how unhappy, I also was... unhappy with myself. But I knew I but I was in this this, this time, where I'm in this very tumultuous time in my marriage, I'm getting ready to turn 40. And I'd also at this time, been in a very successful career as a salesperson and in corporate America, an inmate for 16 years at that point and it's been a great career, but I just did not feel fulfilled at all. I mean, it just, I could do it in my sleep. I mean, yeah, I mean, as an entrepreneur, now, some of those just tell one friend of yours, I was like, "God, sometimes I just ... wish I could go back to work in two hours a day," like and I was making lots of money, and I work two hours a day and, like, now I bust my ass and I feel like my hourly rate is $2, I'm like ... (Amber and Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 11:22  

I know, I know there's something there's but you know, it's right. Except for that you weren't fulfilled and that's why you're not there.

Amber Shaw 11:29  

Exactly! I mean, exactly. So, I say that jokingly but yeah, so so, I started really just going inward, I started really started reflecting, you know, "My God, I'm getting ready to turn 40. I'm in this position with my life," and I was in so much pain from just the my marriage and everything that I just was really trying to find some like light at the end of the tunnel. I'm such a believer that you're just you are in the right place at the right time. And so I just wanted to, I was just so desperately seeking what was the lesson like, you know, what, what was the lesson here? And so,

Lesley Logan 12:07  

I love that. I love that. So basically, like, here you are in this like daily onslaught of like, "This isn't working, and I'm getting older, and this isn't working and I'm not fulfilled." And you were seeking out the lessons for that. How do you do that?

Amber Shaw 12:22  

Well, it's a lot of therapy... (Lesley and Amber laughs)

Lesley Logan 12:25  

We're big fans of therapy around here. I'm like, "You should get therapist ... needs a therapist," you know, we have to rebrand therapy is what I think we have to do. (Lesley laughs)

Amber Shaw 12:32  

Oh my God, are you kidding me? Like I'm like such a believer that anybody if you have access to a therapist, like everybody needs them on their roster, just like as preventative like, I think the problem is, is we go to therapists after the shit's broken. And I will say that it's really we need to, like, it's before - that's what needs to happen. So yeah, I will say it is. Yeah, a lot of therapy, a lot of self help books, but it would also required a lot of me just going inward and literally spending time with myself. Where no, I was just shutting out everybody else, whether that was through some breathwork, whether that was through a little bit of like meditation, whatever that looked like, you know, I think as women as busy women, especially the moms out there, we spend so much time just, you know, doing for others and and taking in, you know, all the noise from everybody else. We just forget what the hell we want. We forget our own voice.

Lesley Logan 13:29  

Boom! That is, I've chills. That is exactly why this podcast exists. It is all about like, "How do I get women to prioritize themselves?" (Amber: Yeah) Because for whatever reason, we think if we don't do things for others, then we're a bad person. And it's like actually, if you are not taking care of you first, (Amber: Yeah) you can't do anything for anyone fully. And then you're upset at yourself for not being fully there. You feel guilty and then you're resentful that that thing that you said yes to is taking me away from like doing anything for yourself.

Amber Shaw 14:02  

Yes, yes, absolutely. I mean, and so that kind of that journey of that really like introspection and really just trying to figure out like, "What what is my voice here? What What is this going to look like long term?" I decided to take a trip to Costa Rica for my 40th birthday. It was a yoga retreat. And I wanted, it was so funny like I was telling a story the other day that my my original plan to go for my 40th was to like get this whole group of people, we're going to go to Cabo, we're going to get a house, you're doing all the friggin' things. (Lesley: You're gonna party like it was Austin) ... (Lesley laughs) It was happening. And you know as I got closer and closer to it and in the middle of everything that was going on in my life, I was just like that's not that's not what I need right now. I need to just figure some stuff out and so I ended up going to, yeah, I ended up going to Costa Rica and I really wanted to use this time as like just some time to just really think and so I I'll never forget and I was tell the story because it was really just a, you know, I'll say I think that there are pivotal times in our life that we look back and we're like, boom, like that mess... that was like divine intervention. That was a message that I heard loud and clear, if you're open to receiving (Lesley: Yeah) that message. (Lesley: Yeah) And so, on this trip, I was sitting on the beach, and I was meditating and I was just journaling. And I was brain dumping and I was thinking of like, just all the things that you know... and I was really centered around like, also with my career, like, what did I want to do for my career, and I'm just writing down all the things that I was good at, and that I loved and that, and all of a sudden, it sounds like such a simple word. But it was so loud and so clear, I couldn't deny it, all of a sudden, the word "coach" just hit me. I was like, "Coach," I was like, "Coach of what? Like, what the f..., what am I going to coach? I gotta..." You know? And I just sat with it for a while and the rest of the trip. And I decided when I got back that I'm so fascinated by integrative nutrition, because I'd lost my father several years back to cancer. And so I really became very fascinated with holistic treatment, Eastern medicine and all of that. And so I was like, "You know, what, I don't know what this looks like, but I'm gonna get back, I'm gonna enroll in this program." And, and I also true for me, I think it gave me a little bit of relief, because I needed something that I could start focusing my attention on as well, because I was so consumed on like, what was going on with my marriage. (Lesley: Yeah) And really, like things, just the things just evolved with the, you know, reopened my personal training certification and the nutrition and all of that. And then one came TikTok, and then that then that was the end of it. (Amber laughs) Because my I got on TikTok, when the pandemic hit after I launched my business. And that's really how things got going for me, I just started, like, really putting out content that talked about my struggles and really identity like, you know, related to women over 40. And the things we go through and like random stray hairs on her chin and hormones. And you know how hard it is to keep the weight off. And all these things, and women just started resonating with it. And it just, yeah, kind of started building a community.

Lesley Logan 17:02  

This is so cool. I actually, I completely agree that there are moments in our life that like are really transformative. They're very pivotable, pivotable, pivotal... I don't know, whatever (Lesley: You got it) that's a great word. Anyway, no one's here for the English lesson. Um ...

Amber Shaw 17:16  

I'm a queen of that by the way, I make up words all the time. And like my ex husband is like in he's like the master of English. And I'm like, he's like that, you know, it's not a word, right ...

Lesley Logan 17:23  

Oh, oh, Brad, I I'm the queen of double negatives, really and Brad hates that. But if y'all want to see blooper reels, my team secretly edits out, you know, all of my YouTube videos where I do things, and I'm like, "Da, da, da, da" (Lesley and Amber laughs) and they did put a compilation. I'm like, "Eww" (Lesley laughs) (Amber: Say what...) Anyway, people love it. But going back to that, I think we, I think it's so easy to go, "Why is this happening to me? How did I let this happen?" We end up taking like this, like we're supposed to have seen this train coming. And, and really like, those are the moments that really transform us and put us on the path we're supposed to be on. And actually those those rock bottoms or obstacles are what people relate to us as. Like people, you are able to share those struggles with people people go, "Yeah, I feel that way too. I went through that too." And so I think sometimes we're like, "Let me bury that, let me not think about that. I want to go as far away from that as possible." And really like those are the things that build us up for what's to come and who we're going to be and like what we're supposed to do here. So thank you for sharing that. And I hope that like if you're listening to this, and you can think back, like, at a moment where you heard something so clearly, and it changed something like, I I am doing what I'm doing today, because people asked a question I just happened to go, "Huh! That's an interesting question. I just, I just suggest that that's" so you know what I mean? So I'm with you. 

Lesley Logan 18:51  

When it comes to, let's talk a little bit about health nutrition for a second because I, we're here about being until we see it. And I definitely want to get more into your story on that. But I feel that there are things that we eat, do, or don't do, or don't eat, that are actually keeping us from, from being that person. Like I actually feel that sometimes we are could be the most confident person in the morning and by the end of the day, we're not... and it's not as because we're like talking negatively to ourselves. Sometimes it's like sugar or something else. Is there are there things that we are eating or not eating that are actually causing us to not be able to be that confident, strong person, we're all trying to be in this world?

Amber Shaw 19:33  

Man, there's so many there's so many like different ways I could take this one. So like on a physiological level, like and I think this is something that definitely plagues a lot of women. And then I want to get to kind of the mental level on that. But like on the physiological level, like one of the biggest things I see is women that under eat and you just have no idea when you are starving your body eating less than 1200 calories a day. Um, because you think that that is what's going to help you to lose weight which in actuality, it's actually the thing that's preventing you from losing weight because you're starving your body. But yeah, I mean, that's absolutely just gonna affect your energy a lot, you know, you're usually not your best self, when you're in, you don't even realize what your baseline is. Because you've been in, you don't even realize where you're at, because that's been your baseline for so long. So, you know, definitely, I'm just like a physical level, I think that yeah, like, definitely under eating, I also think just even getting too much sugar in your diet, I think definitely affects you, you know, by having, you know, crashes, sugar crashes, where you again, lose your energy, you know, increases your brain fog, I mean, there's just lots of things when you are mistreating your body and not eating a lot of whole foods, you know, I always talk about the power of I'm using food as medicine, that's one of the things that I talk about, especially for my, my ladies and even the 30s, 40s and up is that, you know, we really do have the opportunity to heal our bodies so much, so much with food. And so one of the most important things you can do for your body is stop looking at food as calories in and calories out, you know, like, really start to pay attention to the power of food. So, I would say that. And then you know, what I would say too, is at least from a mental game, and you asked, like, are there things that we're, you know, eating or not eating or whatever, that really affects us from being our best self - is that kind of what you're... yeah... (Lesley: Yeah), you know, I think the that constantly being on a restrictive diet absolutely affects your mental game and the way that you feel about yourself and because so much of what, you know, goes hand in hand with constantly being on a diet and constantly looking for that quick fix. You know, to shed the weight is, you know, the the cycle of restriction and bingeing right, and, and what happens, anybody that's ever been on a diet or restrictive diet, where, which you can't stick to because nobody can, because it's not real life, then what happens you either binge, or you kind of like, go off the program and you feel terrible about yourself. (Lesley: Right) And you feel terrible about how the way you look at yourself in the mirror. Now, you don't want to go to the pool, because you don't want to you know, you feel terrible, you're by yourself and not confident in your clothes. I mean, so I just definitely think that yes, I mean, so much of food and our relationships, our relationship to food dictates our ability to be our best selves on so many different levels.

Lesley Logan 22:24  

Couldn't... I agree so much because I, you said, well, I still have stomach issues. They're pretty much on the mend. But when I was trying to go and figure out what my stomach issues were, I was put on all these different diets. I had an elimination diet, which went on way too long. Someone let me be on that for 90 days. It was terrible, it's ... it was awful. And you just like I was so consumed with like, "Can I eat that? Can I eat this? Can I eat that," that I wasn't able to work on the things that I was really wanting to work on? I wasn't able to work on my book. I wasn't able to work on my courses. I just because you're just so much like you only have so ... many decision. Right!

Amber Shaw 23:02  

And it's decision fatigue. (Lesley: Correct) ... Jill you know, Jill Coleman talks a lot about this in her you know, Moderation 365 which teaches a more sustainable lifestyle. But there really is such a thing like decision fatigue and it's like if you you don't even realize that but you when you are putting so much of your brainpower into like, "Can I eat this? Can I eat that? How many macros are in that? How many calories are in that?" You don't even know, you don't even know how much it is really detract you know, taking away from your living, your life, your joy. I mean, it's until you get out of it. (Lesley: Yeah) You get out and you're like, "Damn, that was a lot."

Lesley Logan 23:36  

Yeah, I agree. So how, so... How have you helped women get out of this? Because I feel like they're like, "Great, ladies. Okay, how do I get out of this?" Like, how do what is your like, what what do you suggest people do? Because it's not easy to do on your own. Like if you you know, because it's a pattern ... it is a it's a habit almost, you know,

Amber Shaw 23:54  

No, I mean absolutely. And I think why it's it is so hard is because there's so much information out there. There's so much misinformation out there and then you couple it with the fact that people want results now, because we're up against you know, body manipulative diets like keto and you know, all these other things where you're cutting out whole food groups, and all of that is that so yeah, it's hard to stay consistent. But I have to say that really, consistency really is the name of the game. Like if you are somebody that is like tired of dieting, you are wanting to you know, create a lifestyle where you have food freedom, where you can go on vacation and not worry about every morsel you put in your mouth, all these things. It really does start with a more consistent lifestyle. So when I teach women, women come to me and they're ready to raise up the dieting like they want, they want to eat more food, they just want to be happy. You know, I do educate women, I'm more of a clean eating lifestyle, which is basically just eliminating a lot of the processed and packaged foods, not cutting them out completely... that would be restriction and that is not possible, right? But for the most part, really relying more on a whole food diet eating foods again, less process less people. Paying attention to the sugar in your diet, getting more vegetables, more good fats like, what I would say is the way that I teach nutrition is not really rocket science, it makes sense. It's things you learned when you were in like the fifth grade. But it is like it is really more about learning that. But then learning how to couple it with moderation and satisfaction, because the two of them like that those two together clean eating and like moderation, satisfaction in like what you're eating and not doing the bingeing and doing this all the time with being on a diet on Monday and then gorging on the weekend and all that, that is really when you can develop a lifestyle where you're going to keep the weight off for good. So, I really, because if you don't, if you don't teach yourself, how to trust yourself around food, again, how to be able to go out in a Friday night and have pizza and beer and all the things you like, and then just, you know, kind of get back, you know, your to your normal routine on Saturday. Like if you don't learn that, then you just do clean eating. It's just another diet, (Lesley: Yeah) like that's just another day. (Lesley: Yeah) So the secret sauce, I think is really learning, again, how to kind of that moderation satisfaction factor so that you can stay consistent because you know, Jill always says, and Jill Coleman is a mentor of both ours and Jill (Lesley: Yeah) and always says, "That a little less perfect, makes you a lot more consistent." And I'm like, ...

Lesley Logan 26:24  

Oh, I love that because our big thing around (Amber: Right?) here is, "Perfect is boring."

Amber Shaw 26:27  

So okay, so see, like, ... and it's so true. We focus so much on being consistent. I mean, perfect all the time. That not totally jacks up our ability to be consistent. So yeah for sure.

Lesley Logan 26:39  

Oh, you're 100%. So okay, I love that. And I just want to quickly get back to something because I'm sure a lot of people like okay, so you are a mom, you have two kids, right? (Amber: Two kids. Yeah) Two kids and you switched careers. (Amber: Yeah) And you went through divorce. So (Amber: Yeah) all this happens. So they're wondering, how did you do this? Like, how did you how because that's a lot of change. And that's a lot of I feel like that'd be a lot of pressure. I don't have children but like, I feel like going through all of that with two kiddos is probably like extra. So what what what were you telling yourself each day? How did you do that?

Amber Shaw 27:15  

You know, I think and I'll give the overall answer and then I'll kind of go back and kind of break it down a little bit. But I think that the universe or God or spirit or whatever, if you believe in a higher power, what you believe at that. But I think the message from God was so loud to me that I couldn't deny it anymore. And to deny this path would be to deny myself and so I couldn't, He had opened up us here to open up so many doors for me with this coaching in such a short amount of time. Because you're right, I was at that time I was in at that point. I started the coaching it really is like a side hustle because I was like, "Okay, I'm going through a divorce. I need something that will take my attention. This will also be extra income for me," because I mean, I was making multiple six figures at my sales job, very cush shell sales job. (Lesley: Yeah) Okay, to do it in my sleep. (Lesley: Yeah.) But I had a very, and it was actually just that just probably about eight months ago, I had a very good conversation with my brother. And you know, because I was like, because for most of last year, I was doing both (Lesley: Okay) I was doing coaching and my sale... and I was dying. (Lesley: Yeah) I was literally dying. I was like, I can't, I'm working unbelievable amount of hours. And but you know, like I said, my... this conversation with my brother. And also a lot of time going inward and really, you know, thinking on this, but, you know, we had just decided that again, I had had so many just things that have just happened that I did not feel were coincidence that it was like "Okay, I'm gonna trust this" like, I can always this is scary as hell, this is scary as hell. But I can always go back to being a salesperson, right? Even if I'm like, sell, you know, no, even ... sell and making the a $30,000. I don't care. Like I can always go back. I know that I can do that. But I feel like I if I walk away from this now, I will always wonder if this could have been my thing. And again, like I said, I mean to at that point, it was like to deny myself of this was to just really deny, I think, my soul's work. I really feel that.

Lesley Logan 29:16  

Oh, that's amazing. Thank you for sharing that because I do know that there are someone listening to this going. They're wondering, you know, like, it's hard. Like I had a job that was salaried, vacation, health insurance, all the things and I could I just was struggling so much because I knew that I wanted to do other things. I wanted to get my retreats going consistently. I wanted to coach people. I wanted to have more freedom in my decisions without having... it felt like such a hard thing because of the safe job that made me really good money (Lesley laughs) (Amber: Yes) and all these perks and benefits. But I remember someone said, you know, it was not even having to do with me, she said it around something that had to do with how it was a Pilates classes, she even know that she was saying something. But she said, "You can't have one foot an island and one foot on a canoe." Like you just can't. Doesn't work. (Amber: Right. Right. Absolutely) And I was like, "Oh my God, I have one foot on an island and one foot in a canoe," (Amber: Yeah) and like, I don't have the ability to do the splits, like, I'm just, that's not how I'm built. (Lesley laughs) Okay, Amber, how do people follow you? Obviously, TikTok is one of them. Where are you there? What's your favorite places to hang out?

Amber Shaw 30:28  

Yeah, so definitely on TikTok. That platform is my jam. Yes, I'm Ms Amber Shaw. I'm Ms Amber Shaw on TikTok, also the same on Instagram, I'm ever on Instagram. And I also have a podcast. (Lesley: Yes, she does.) Yeah, The Wellness Revolution. I'm so excited about it. So um, you can find that on Apple or Spotify. And then of course, my website, ambershaw.com.

Lesley Logan 30:51  

Amazing. Okay. Y'all, make sure you follow her, check out her podcast. I'm also on it. So you know, (Amber: Yeah.) (Lesley laughs) (Amber: Thank you) So, here's what I love to do. All this is really great. I know, we got so much inspo going on. But I really I'm an actionable strategy person. I like people to be able to take action because I know action brings clarity. It's the antidote to fear, it also helps us remain too perfect. I don't like to plan too much. You got to just try things on. So what, what do you have for us? What are some ways that people can be it till they see it?

Amber Shaw 31:23  

You know, I think the first thing is that when you are going through something, I think it's okay to ask yourself, "Why, why am I going through this?" But I think the most important thing is to not stop there. I think then it's to flip the script and say now, "How can I turn this into something good?" Or or what ask the question, "What is the purpose in this? What kind of what lesson can I learn here?" And I think that really is where your growth is going to happen. So I think that's that's one thing. And then I think the second thing is, and it is actually you know, goes along with that. And when you're asking yourself these questions is take some damn time to yourself. I don't care if it is not everybody has to go to a beach in Costa Rica. I don't care if it's going in your closet and putting some earplugs in for five minutes - all you moms - you just do it, give yourself permission to be with your own thoughts. I can tell you that I have worked out some of my biggest decisions of my life during those quiet moments. So don't deny yourself of those.

Lesley Logan 32:27  

Oh my God, I'm in love. I'm in love. All of ... those are so great. These are so great. I can't wait to hear what which ones y'all do, so do us a massive favor, screenshot this podcast, tag @msambershaw, and @be_it_pod with which takeaway you have from this podcast and share it because not only does it tell Amber and I what you loved about this, but it's going to change people's lives. I know that if all of us are be it till we see it, we change this world. So thank you, Amber for being here. (Amber: Thank you) Thank you for listening everyone and until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Lesley Logan 33:01  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan 33:29  

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell 33:33  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 33:41  

Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell 33:47  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 33:55  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell 34:07  

And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

What if you thought of goals as miracles? That's one of the topics Brad and LL cover in today's episode, along with failing at Halloween, being fish in a pond, surrounding yourself with others who are making the changes you want to see in your life, and more.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Brad & Lesley failed at adulting
• You can't grow to be a big fish in a small pond
• Do you have five year goals?
• What if you thought of goals as miracles?

Episode References/Links:

• Lesley's eLevate Pilates mentorship program
• We're hiring an assistant podcast producer!

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Hey, Be It pod listener, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being you. Thanks for watching our podcast here on our YouTube channel. I'm just so grateful for you. I have a big favor, and I'm, I mean, like, let me just say, "It's not easy for me to ask for help," but I need your help. I'm on a mission, I really want to change as many lives and help people be it till they see it all over the world, and I need your help. We have been so grateful. The amount of downloads our podcast has had in just a short period of time is, it's amazing. That's insane. However, we also need more written reviews. So, and specifically on Apple. So even if you are watching here on YouTube, or you listen on Spotify, or you listen on Google Play, Apple podcast is where everyone looks to see which podcasts they should send people on for interviews. And, so we need lots of reviews to be there like a hundred written reviews. So, big huge favorite if you could use the link below, go write a review, rate us, give us all the stars you love and let me know. Screenshot it, send it to me on a @be_it_pod. I just want to thank you for the bottom of my heart. We are truly, truly can't do this podcast without you. And, I'm just so grateful that these words hit your ears. And if you wouldn't mind writing us that review that would be amazing. And, I will be so forever grateful. Thank you and now here's the podcast you wanted to listen to.

Lesley Logan 1:20  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 1:58  

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the motivating conversation I had with Hazel Ortega in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this. Go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. Let me just say, you're gonna want to listen to both of these. (Brad: Yeah) We haven't even finished this episode, but I know it's gonna be great. But the one that we're recapping is out there and I listened to it again. I've I've listened to it several times now. And every time I'm like, I just feel. I feel ready. I feel motivated. So ... (Brad: Motivated) Anyways, gotta go listen to Hazel, you will be inspired. Y'all, I wanted to say real quick. There's a lot of exciting things going on the end of the year. It just I don't know about you, but it's just it's like everything happens. Everyone's like, "We got to get it done." ...

Brad Crowell 2:52  

But it doesn't feel like there's enough time there's way too many projects to finish or get up or get out like (Lesley: Yeah) all the things, it's pretty insane.

Lesley Logan 3:00  

Yeah, so we ... (Brad: Crunch time) we have two things in our crunch time. One, we actually announced "eLevate," which is my program for Pilates teachers. It is a mentorship program that starts in January. It's already filling up super fast. And it is different than any other program I've seen up there. Because ...

Brad Crowell 3:19  

When you say mentorship program ... (Lesley: Yeah) for what specifically?

Lesley Logan 3:23  

Oh, for Pilates teachers for mostly ... So if you've gone through a training, you know, you know a lot and you also know that you what you don't know. And and then there's these pressures in the industry to be perfect at teaching and imperfect at the exercise is that there's right and wrongs and ...

Brad Crowell 3:39  

I never start until I have it nailed anyway. So (Lesley: Right, right.) I'm teasing. (Brad laughs)

Lesley Logan 3:43  

But that's what that's what I see happen a lot with so many teachers and we, we coach them in their business and I can see what their retention is like and that's a that can be a problem and growing your business and also the the mindset that get they get in their own way. And so I wanted to create a really awesome encouraging space for teachers who wanted to learn Joseph Pilates's method. In a way that's not right or wrong. If there's a lot of gray area in there, there's a lot of room for exploring. And so I thought now is actually a really great time because everyone can do it from their comfort of their own home and studio. (Brad: Yeah) And then they can see all these other types of bodies, some with back fusion, some with just lower back pain, some of them shorter, some of them hypermobile, and they can see the same exercises in each other. And then they get to teach each other and get tons of feedback. And so it's going to be this incredible, incredible experience. And I can't wait for them to be together because when I did a mentorship, not only was it really freeing for my teaching, but some of those people I was with are like, like some of my closest friends right now. And so I'm really excited for them to have that sets "eLevate" program.

Brad Crowell 4:50  

Well, so just to clarify a little bit more for those out there who are Pilates teachers, Lesley's classically trained. So this is going to be focused on the like the classical method, and it is open to classical and non classical teachers, it's not a bridge program. It is simply like a continuing ed program for teachers who already, you know, feel like they, they've, they've taken their train... not feel like you've taken your training. You are a teacher, but you're ready to go to the next level. This would be, the "eLevate" program would be for you.

Lesley Logan 5:25  

Yeah. So check it out. The link is in the show notes.

Brad Crowell 5:29  

Yeah. Or just go to lesleylogan.co/elevate.

Lesley Logan 5:33  

Oh, or go there lesleylogan.co/elevate. (Brad: Yeah) And then ...

Brad Crowell 5:38  

One more quick announcement here.

Lesley Logan 5:39  

What is it?

Brad Crowell 5:40  

We are looking for an Assistant Podcast Producer for this podcast? (Brad laughs)

Lesley Logan 5:47  

Oh my God, can you believe it? I can't believe I also love that we're announcing it during like the miracle goals of recap episode because like, I don't think we thought we'd be in this position to hire someone, this soon. Y'all, this is only episode 46.

Brad Crowell 6:03  

Right? Yeah, it's only been, you know, not even six months here of the pod. And we're definitely excited to be, you know, entertaining, you know, interviews and stuff. So, if this is it's a, it's part time, I work remote, all the things if you want to read more about the role, or if you feel like you know, someone who would fit with the role. Just go to lesleylogan.co/hiring.

Lesley Logan 6:29  

I can't even wait to see who this is going to be. I mean, we're just like, it's gonna be great. Get ready, whoever you are, we're going to be doing some miracle goal planning with this pod. Okay, well, let's get into it. What is the question we got from our listeners this week?

Brad Crowell 6:44  

All right. This one was kind of funny. I think it was supposed to be funny. But the question was, "Did we dress up for Halloween?"

Lesley Logan 6:50  

Well, I had to be funny because I posted zero pictures of any dressing up. (Brad laughs) So, I think this is more of like a funny like, "Haha, did you do it?"

Brad Crowell 6:58  

The answer is totally did not. (Lesley: No, no. Not to consider ...) In fact, not only did we not dress up, we didn't even buy any candy.

Lesley Logan 7:07  

Oh my God, we're like The Grinch of Halloween and, and not on purpose, y'all. First, slight defense. We don't even go to the grocery store. (Brad: Yeah, not really) So like buying candy in bags, but require me being in the public to save any bags of candy. Second, it also requires you knowing what day it is. And we work so much in the future sometimes that I don't realize what dates are coming up. And unless there's like a notification of some kind. So clearly, when you put on our calendar, "Buy candy, you have a neighborhood of kids." So they literally knock on the door ...

Brad Crowell 7:43  

That's that's super true. This is the you know, second Halloween that we've been here and last Halloween was really deceptive because we literally, we got all excited... Lesley and I we like sat in our office where we could see the kids who were supposed to walk by and there was like one group ...

Lesley Logan 8:00  

We watched Hocus Pocus and because Brad never seen it. Which by the way, raise your hand if that's your favorite Halloween movie. But also, we put the bowl out there and only one van of kids came. (Brad: Yeah) And they like throw the bowl everywhere. Candy went fly ...

Brad Crowell 8:15  

Oh no, those were the teenagers that came late at night and they just stole all the rest of the candy. Yeah.

Lesley Logan 8:19  

Yeah. It was so anyways, we kind of missed out and then ...

Brad Crowell 8:23  

Yeah, this year, we didn't do much. And then our neighbor rang our doorbell even though our light was off. I swear I thought that was the universal indicator of we're not participating in Halloween. Our front porch light was off people. (Lesley: Yeah) The doorbell still rang and me being a dummy opened it. I was like, "Oh, hey," and then I was like, "Oh, hey, there's like 10 kids here." I was like, "eeeeh".

Lesley Logan 8:43  

And he had to tell a five year old, "We don't have any candy." (Brad: Sorry) (Brad and Lesley laughs) So anyways, (Brad: Ooops) big fail and adulting total fail. Um, I promise to the neighborhood, we will get our act together by next Halloween. (Brad laughs) And I may just start dropping candy off at random kids houses throughout the year.

Brad Crowell 9:03  

Yeah, right. (Lesley: All right.) Hilarious. I love it. (Lesley: Thank you for that question.)

Lesley Logan 9:06  

You can send your questions in to the @be_it_pod on Instagram.

Brad Crowell 9:10  

Yeah. All right. Now let's talk about Hazel Ortega. Hazel Ortega is a psychologist and entrepreneur and an author. She's a firm believer that sharing your story can change the world and pursuing an education will immediately change yours. She grew up in a very dangerous part of Los Angeles with gangs and violence. She put herself through high school and college in her 20s as a mom of three. She talks about that a lot in her her, you know last episode and once she was sharing her story, she has become an inspiration to women around the globe. She focuses on building community of like minded individuals who want to make change in their lives. Lots of really inspiring, really motivating things with with Hazel, it's... she's got quite a story.

Lesley Logan 9:12  

She's such a story. I really ... Okay, y'all, I almost like if I could have been drinking something I think I would have spit off my computer when she said, you like you're a big fish. Someone told her, "You're a big fish in a small pond." She's like, "You can't be a big fish in a small pond." You don't, you don't. Like it's true ...

Brad Crowell 10:16  

You can't grow to be a big fish in a small pond.

Lesley Logan 10:18  

Correct. I mean, the way that reptiles and fish like just, you know, cuz I grew up with like snakes and lizards, if you don't keep getting them a bigger tank, (Brad: They don't go big) they don't get any bigger.

Brad Crowell 10:30  

Yeah. Think about your goldfish. Right? How, how come, how come a goldfish can stay "this big" it's whole life. But then, you know, when it gets put into a massive pond, it grows to be a foot long?

Lesley Logan 10:41  

Yeah, by the way, someplace in this country, you're there's a bunch of goldfish that people been throwing in, they're like, "Please don't put your goldfish in this pond." So don't throw your goldfish in a pond... "Let's see how big it grows." It's not good for the environment. Anyways, (Brad: That fish) I just liked it because I, I think we keep, I think a lot of us wait in the container we're in for the invitation to go to a bigger container. And the or we or we've been told, "You're a big fish in a small pond." And it's like, you got to get into other ponds, and you had to try them out and get to see what the water is like. And I mean, not that like our apartment was holding us back. But it is crazy insane when we took ourselves out of our small studio, working from home, we still work from home, into working from a space, that's five times the size (Lesley laughs) (Brad: Yeah) like our our ... everything is bigger, everything is bigger. And so maybe you can't move, but go to a park then where there's no walls and dream and work from there. But you got to or put yourself in like other theoretical ponds so that you can actually grow - your ideas, your mind, your possibilities, I loved it.

Brad Crowell 11:52  

Or your pond could be different communities.

Lesley Logan 11:54  

100%. You can like there's little schools of fish everywhere.

Brad Crowell 11:57  

Yes, there are. Awesome. Well ...

Lesley Logan 12:01  

What do you like?

Brad Crowell 12:01  

Yeah, so the, I thought this was interesting. She was talking about the way her her internal assumption on her own life. When she was prompted by she, she would began to get some coaching. And she began to really start to see, like the future differently, but not necessarily for her. Right? So when they said when she was asked, you know what, you know, "What's your five year goals?" She was like, "I don't have any goals." And she kind of dug into that. And she said, "You're not going to feel the same five years from now, as you do today." Now, that's her conclusion, you know, but what she was talking about was, when she looked at herself, she was just like, "This is life, I better hold on to what I got, because it's not going to be any different down the road than it is right now this moment for me." Right? And she started to, you know, she she realized that she never had been, you know, encouraged to dream, to explore to, like, internalize growth change, you know, winning, she never was encouraged to do any of those things. And so she was going through life with this assumption that, you know, this is as good as it's gonna get, I got my, you know, my, my $15 an hour job. And I just got to go home and deal with my kids. And that was it, you know, and after beginning to... she, she was she said, she she shared how she was recommended for a job at a law firm that she wasn't qualified for, from an educational standpoint, but she got the job anyway, on referrals, and how that really shifted the way that she began to see what the future could be. And so her conclusion at the end of it is, "You're not going to feel the same five years from now as you do today." And, and I think that that's a great thing. (Lesley: Yeah) You know, like we are, we should be constantly growing and shifting and changing and pursuing that growth. And, you know, I think it's important to be reminded of that sometimes.

Lesley Logan 14:13  

It makes me think of Joanna Vargas is like, "How this get any better than this?" Like, (Brad: Yeah) they want, I remember the story of like, she won some trip on a on a helicopter, she was like, in a helicopter to a dinner. And she looks at all these people who, you know, they're all successful in their own rights, like, "How this get any better than this?" And she added like, some people were like, "Girl, we're on a helicopter and (Brad laughs) ... dinner." Like, "What more you want?" But it's actually like, you don't if you feel really good right now, it can be better than that five years from now if you want it to. (Brad: Yeah) Right? Right. So, I ... I think that was a really cool part of the conversation. It was really fun. (Brad: Yeah) She's just great. I it's just every time I listen to I'm like, "Ah, I gotta do, I gotta more miracles. I got to put more miracles on wall."

Brad Crowell 14:34  

More miracles. Oh, man. That's another thing we could have talked about too. Is, you know, she talked about goals. You know how we were like goals, goals, you know, "Okay, what are your five year goals?" And, I've never heard anybody suggest this before. But it makes, it's completely logical to me. When we put a goal on the board, you know, whatever you want to call it, our brain immediately goes, "Wow, I can't, I can't, I don't even know how that's gonna happen." So, it's not gonna happen, right? Because we look at it like a goal. And she said, "I substituted the word miracle for the word goal." Because for... this is just an association. We don't associate miracles with anything that we can do. (Lesley: Yeah) Right. And so I thought, wow, that that is amazing to shift that because it, it still makes it like, "Okay, it's possible that it could happen. I don't know how it would happen." But it could happen, right? As opposed to goals where you're like, I have to do it. It's all on my shoulders. (Lesley: Yeah) I don't know how it's gonna happen. And that is now I just don't even know that it's a real, like, (Lesley: Right) a possible thing.

Lesley Logan 16:14  

Right. It's like, and you can listen to all the people, including all the people we've had on the show, it's like, "Take another step, take a first step." But it's like, if you if you are making it a goal and you've never seen it done. (Brad: Right) And you don't know how to get there. You it's really hard to go, "Okay, I'm just gonna blindly step in this," but I love the word miracles, because we, we all are so are like, "Oh, it's a miracle that that happened." It means that like, all these things conspired, (Brad: Sure) with you to do what you want and I think it's so fun. Because as soon as we shifted our mind on that, because I think we were, I don't know, if it was like a conscious awareness. We were kind of struggling with like, "What's next?" And how do we do the next thing? And so we went on that walk, I told her I know you like, like, "Okay, what are the miracles we're having?" And, (Brad: Yeah) and it was scary and exciting.

Brad Crowell 17:03  

Yeah. And I think that that's also important, you know, those those those like, wildly ambitious, crazy, like, I like almost like can't-even-conceptualize goals that's important that they're that big. Because then it you know, because it's not necessarily something that you have control over all these things. I mean, you (Lesley: Control over most of the things.) Right, right, you know, so anyway, I loved that she substituted miracles, for the word goals in the way she thinks about her future. Taking a lot of that, like, "How do I do it?" Question out of it. (Lesley: Yeah) And then that allowed her still be excited about the possibilities. So (Lesley: Into it) Yeah. All right. One extra talking interview talking point there. (Brad laughs) Watch out everyone. We're getting crazy.

Lesley Logan 17:52  

(Brad laughs) Slippin' it right in. All right. Well, let's go. (Brad: Yeah) BE IT action items.

Brad Crowell 17:57  

Finally, let's talk about Hazel's BE IT action items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with her? She, she said something that that I thought was really attainable. And she said, "Surround yourself with others who are making the changes that you want to see." Right? And, I don't know if she exactly said it like, directly like that. But what she did was when she was a mom, and was learning how to manage her money, she started to share with her other moms and other friends, "Hey, I'm learning how to balance my budget, you know, is that something you'd want to do too. Let's do it together so that we can, you know, be excited for each other" and, and she began to create this community of moms learning about money. (Lesley: Yeah) And, and I think that, that that's exactly why we created OPC (Lesley: Oh yeah) you know, because when you're just alone in your apartment or house, like trying to chip away at your Pilates practice, it just feels so isolated and alone. I mean, we all experienced this over the past year and a half with the changes in the world because of COVID and like isolationism and all that kind of stuff. And you know, the idea of creating a community even if it's an online you know, virtual community of people who are celebrating that they did their practice, they're celebrating the the changes that they're seeing in their body and in their mindset, in their in their life because of what they're practicing Pilates is so exciting. And you know, that's so that that's why she's recommending this, (Lesley: Yeah) to surround yourself with others who are also making that kind of change.

Lesley Logan 19:44  

It's scary and so doable. I think we're all waiting for the invitation but just be the invitee. You don't actually have to be the host of it. You could say I'm I'm doing this we have a friend who does it. She just throws out an idea to a group of people. And then like people come and no one is the host, but like, everyone got together, and I think it starts off that way and the conversations are there, but the worst thing that they can say is no. And, and that's actually not a bad thing. It's like, "Okay, so you just keep going." But I do think it's something that's very tangible and doesn't have to cost you anything. So, I love that a lot.

Brad Crowell 20:19  

Yeah. Well, what about you? What's your BE IT action item?

Lesley Logan 20:21  

Of course, of course, I chose this one. So, "Draw your vision," she drew it out, and she has it framed on on on a wall. And it really is like, if someone drew with like, a pen, like ...

Brad Crowell 20:33  

Yeah, it's like a magic marker.

Lesley Logan 20:34  

Yeah, it's like, you know, it's not it doesn't have to be like, beautiful and artistic. But I do what I see a lot when I'm coaching people in their business and where they want to grow it. They can't articulate it. If actual words like I feel like ... (Brad: Right) I feel like they get hung up on what word to choose, because they're trying, they want to make sure it's right. There's that perfectionist ... (Brad: Yeah, that quote unquote, "right") that "right." And it's like, but if you draw it, it's just a little bit easier to let your mind flow or you can grab magazine clippings, or, or go on Pinterest and just print off some things. So, I'm big fan of this. We are we're currently working on ours. It's not drawing, we're gonna print some stuff because, ... y'all I'm left handed. It's just a hot mess. So just smudges and smears. (Brad laughs) But uh, but you can do this right now. And especially as the year is ending, like, do it, even if you only do it for next year, even if you like or like, "I can't even think beyond 2022. I can't believe it's even here." Just draw what you want for that. And (Brad: Yeah) the miracle.

Brad Crowell 21:36  

Yeah, yeah, that's the beginning of your vision board.

Lesley Logan 21:38  

Yeah. Well, anyways, this is so fun. I just we could talk about Hazel for a long time. So we'll we'll have to do this again. We'd love to know your takeaways definitely screenshot this, tag @hazelortega_official and us with what inspired you about the podcast. And thank you again for joining us all the time. We are so grateful that you're here. Let us know ... you're doing this with DMs on our Instagram pod. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell 22:05  

Bye for now.

Lesley Logan 22:07  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan 22:35  

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As the Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell 22:40  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 22:47  

Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell 22:53  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 23:02  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell 23:13  

And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Hazel Ortega is a firm believer that sharing your story can change the world, that a fish can't grow big in a small pond. She shares that it wasn't that she wanted to be a psychologist, but that she didn't want to be homeless that she went to high school and college as a mom of three. Hazel and Lesley talk about replacing "goals" with "miracles," changing your environment, and celebrating the small wins.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• The challenge of staying in the mindset of your choice
• It takes an effort to build a community
• Change the world by sharing your story
• Things didn't change for Hazel until she changed her environment
• A fish can't grow big in a small pond
• You're not going to feel the same five years from now as you do today (and that's a good thing!)

Episode References/Links:

• Hazel's IG
• Hazel's LI
• Hazel's FB
• Hazel's website
• Hazel's other website
• Maslow's hierarchy of needs
• Dave Ramsey
• Rachel Rogers

Guest Bio:

Hazel Ortega, who is open about coming from a rough childhood, tells her inspiring story on how she went

From:

• Growing up poor
• Living in a rat-infested household, in a dangerous gang neighborhood
• Living on food stamps
• Putting higher education on the back burner

To:

• Having higher education even in her late 20's
• Having a bestselling book on Amazon
• Having several multimillion-dollar businesses
• Flying in private jets
• Having more than enough quality time for her family

Learn how having big goals, leveraging on the available opportunities, and surrounding yourself with good people can bring major changes in your life.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Hello, how are you? Welcome back to Be It Till You See It. Ah, I just got off of the interview with Hazel Ortega, let me just tell you if there was never, if there was ever a Be It Till You See It story you had to listen to this, this is the one. This woman grew up in just grew up in a city that like many of us could never imagine or dream or picture. And it was hard times, I mean, she didn't get her high school diploma till she was 30. So spoiler alert there. And now she is I just hung up with her and she's gone off to a trip to Peru, and then she's going to Croatia. So, she is literally going to tell you how to Be It Till You See It. She's got a great vision for how this is, her tips are absolutely doable. And it's a challenge to live in this mindset. But it's like, every time I hear her story, I can't think of another way to live. I can't think of another mindset to have, it just makes so much sense. So if you have been struggling if you've been like, "Well Lesley, these stories you keep bringing on they're great, but I'm from a place that this doesn't happen. People don't leave my town like that, or, you know, I'm I'm in this relationship. And I this is how it's gonna be and I can't see a logical way out of it." Well, we're screwing logic this week, and we are talking about miracles. And so, I I really hope you listen to her whole story here and dive into the thing she's offering you there in the show notes below. And you know, do me a huge favor and let Hazel and I know how this episode changed your life or changed your mindset even for a moment. Because I think it's, I think it's like a really great way if we could just make this the other way that everyone's dreaming. Just imagine where the world would be and all the things that we're doing. So, anyways, y'all Hazel Ortega is with us this week. Oh, and also so exciting. If you love Joanna Vargas from episode one, I met this woman through Joanna Vargas. And so side note, just something I'd say, ask people you love to know about people they love. Because something I'm doing here in Las Vegas is asking people who I really love and enjoy who they love and enjoy because I'm building a network because I didn't have one when I moved here. I knew a couple people very tangentially like spent a little bit of time with them and we both loved Carbon 38 and everything has it's hard to meet people, it's hard to create a community, I'm not saying it's easy. So you know please know that I understand that that effort. But if you want to meet awesome people ask the awesome people you know who they love and your your awesome community and network will grow. So here we go after this message, Hazel Ortega.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Hello, Be It Till You See It listeners. I'm here with Hazel Ortega. Y'all, this woman I cannot wait for you to hear her story. I'm so honored because I know it already. But she was introduced to me by Joanna Vargas. You'll remember from episode one. So if you love Joanna and the force she is then you are going to love Hazel. And so here is Hazel! Hazel tell everyone who you are and what you're up to. And just thank you so much for being here today to shine your light and share your story.

Hazel Ortega 3:59  

Thank you, Lesley, thank you so much for letting me do that, right? That's my number one thing is to change the world by sharing my story. And who I am, I'm a I'm a mom. I have a 23 year old daughter who just graduated college and is a registered nurse. Yes ...

Lesley Logan 4:18  

That's amazing. The world needs more nurses. That's amazing.

Hazel Ortega 4:22  

Yes, I'm very happy that I created this human being to contribute to the planet. And my story, my story started off really rough growing up in the poorest neighborhood of Los Angeles. Not just poor but you know, gang members and growing up on welfare. My parents were immigrants from Mexico didn't even speak English. And having education was something that was not a priority. Surviving our neighborhood was (Lesley: Yeah) not ending up in what most people would end up in in those conditions like becoming pregnant as a teenager, becoming a drug addict, going to jail, getting into gangs or dying, (Lesley: Yeah) basically. So I that's the way I grew up. Ah ...

Lesley Logan 5:17  

Yeah, I mean, I think it's so interesting to hear you point out, like, that, that was... the thing was surviving. Because I think a lot of people who didn't grew up in that kind of environment, do not... do misunderstand, like, "Well, why don't they just go get a job?" And it's like, well, it's really not that easy when when everything around you is like, it's when you're in that Maslow's hierarchy of needs of like, "Where's your next meal? Where are you staying for the night?" Like that kind of stuff. It is hard to see a future ahead. And so did you, so can you tell everyone like, did you, did you go to college? I mean, your daughter went or like when what was your next step? Like, how did you get out of that neighborhood? Because I mean, if you're watching on YouTube, y'all she is living in a beautiful house. So with a gorgeous red hat. So like, how did you go from that environment to where you are now?

Hazel Ortega 6:08  

Yeah, well, when you say that environment, it means like an 800 square foot apartment, one bedroom, not having a future, defaulting into getting a job, not a job I love but a job because my cousin works there, right. And I need to pay my bills. So it was never a conversation of creating my life and going in that direction. I never had that conversation with anybody. (Lesley: Yeah) So, how did that that all change? I got a job because my cousin was working at a law office. And she brought me and she was the receptionist, and the attorney interviewed me, I probably was not going to get the job. He even asked me what gang I was from, because he could tell that I had like this tough, you know, demeanor, and like I know a lot of things from the streets. And he did ask me that about the gangs. And he knew where I lived. He asked me, you know, what Avenue I was living on, because the gang is a lot is called The Avenues. (Lesley: Yeah) And he did end up hiring me because, not only did my cousin recommend me for the job, but I also had a mentor in high school who was a judge in the workers compensation arena, and who this attorney knew. And because of that recommendation, I was able to start work at this prestigious law firm. (Lesley: Wow) And that's where everything changed. And Lesley, you know, the last time I was talking to your people, I was telling them, that things didn't change for me until I changed my environment. (Lesley: Yeah) Right ...

Lesley Logan 7:43  

That is that is the biggest key. I'm studying like, human behavior, with BJ Fogg. And he has said, the study show, if you don't change your environment it doesn't matter what you do, doesn't matter if you go back to school, or if you lose the weight, or if you get the gold job. If your environment is the same, you won't ... you won't get the benefits of those things.

Hazel Ortega 8:05  

Yeah, exactly. Like people tell me, "Oh, you were a big fish in a small pond." I said, "No, a fish can't grow big in a small pond." You have to change your pond. And getting this job at this prestigious law firm was a different pond.

Lesley Logan 8:20  

Oh, that is... I mean, I felt like Oprah, that's a tweetable moment. It's not... a fish can't grow big (Lesley laughs) in a small pond, you have to get a bigger pond. That's amazing. (Hazel laughs) Yeah. So so you know, you got this job. And I mean, so many people listening this are doing a job that maybe they got because someone recommended you should do this, or you should do this. And I think I think a lot of people, even in growing in environments that are not as tough as yours, are not living their purpose. They're they're doing what someone said they should do, or like, here's a job you can have. And so how did how did you? What was it like at that that law firm? And like what what was the next step? What was that launching pad for you?

Hazel Ortega 9:03  

First, I'll tell you, I got the job. And I felt out of place, like I didn't belong. And I worked with these attorneys that were making millions of dollars a year. It's such a prestigious law firm, right? And celebri... we represented celebrities who were injured while filming, which was really interesting, and NFL players. And I always felt really shy like I was not on the same level as them like there's a difference there. And I kept working there. Eventually I ended up getting injured on that job. The attorney that I worked for who encouraged me to go back to school because of my injury and just because I should. I didn't even have a high school diploma when he hired me at 24 years old. A couple years later, I became an injured worker. The attorney tells me now, "You really need to take school seriously. You need to go back to school," and I start to go back to school and I earned my highest diploma when I'm 30 years old, and then I kept going.

Lesley Logan 10:05  

Wow. You know, that's just like proof that it's never too late to go back. And then also, what, I mean I don't know this attorney, I don't know the whole story, but I feel like what a nice guardian angel, like just like a little, "Tap, tap, tap... You should really go back to school." And then like, you really have to take your education seriously. So you left the law firm after you got your high school diploma or what was what what did you do for work after after you went to high school?

Hazel Ortega 10:31  

So, I kept working with the attorney while I got my high school diploma and my college credits. I still I stayed there. And then eventually he looked at me and he said, "Oh, my God, I realized that you're go... you're going to leave me," because I was on track to become a psychologist. And, yeah, this is something that he recommended for me to do. Once I didn't know what to do. Like I got, I finished my associates degree. And he asked me, "What are you going to do next?" I had no idea what I was going to do next. And honestly, I was done. I didn't want to keep going to school. And he told me, "You you're going to be a professional, you better think about what you want to do." And I was like, "Oh my God, it was so hard to go to school." Honestly, I worked from nine to five as a secretary, I went to school from seven to 10 at night, and I went to weekend college, Saturday and Sunday ... (Lesley: and you had a daughter)

Lesley Logan 11:25  

And your three kids (Hazel: three kids at home, three young kids at home.) Wow! Wow! So okay. So I know the moms listening to this are like, how did you do that? Like, did you have help? Because I know childcare is really expensive and hard, like what... And also like, what was going through your mind that you made that a priority? Because that takes a lot of effort to make sure that you are you able to work, go to school and have your kids taken care of.

Hazel Ortega 11:52  

Yeah, and honestly, that losing the job that I currently had, where the where I was injured, was my push because I thought if I lose this job, I'm not going to get another job paying as much as this does. And mind you I was only getting paid $15 an hour is like I'm I'm afraid of losing this job. So I have to educate myself. So I get another job comparable to this job or better. (Lesley: Yeah) It wasn't I wanted to be a psychologist. It was because I didn't want to be homeless that I went back to school. Right? I didn't was not thinking of being a professional or, or living in a pimp daddy mansion. Like I didn't have those dreams. Okay, those dreams, I incrementally grew and grew. (Lesley: Yeah) So, I went to school and one of the things Lesley that a lot of people I realized is that they feel that the way you feel today is the way you're going to feel five years from now and that's not true. Along the way you add to your self esteem, based on what you're up to, right. Unless you don't grow and expand yourself, then you're going to have low self esteem in five years as well. There's no reason why your future should look any different. (Lesley: Right) If you personally read books, you change your environment, friends, and you learn about whatever it is that you're interested in, and go back to school and you start making changes, you're going to be a completely different person five years from now you will be and that's what happened to me.

Lesley Logan 13:19  

So, I couldn't agree more because I think often ... well, I said this, I've said this before, I'm not the first person to say it. But like we overestimate we can do in a day and we underestimate we can do in a year or five years. And I think, you know, we do take for granted, we think if we're feeling good, we're going to feel this good and five years, well, if you're doing the things you said you're gonna feel better, you're gonna feel even better. But if you are doing nothing, if you just stay status quo, you're gonna start to feel behind because the world's going forward, you know, so, um, so I love that you said that but so you you went to school, you change that. And then because I because I know the story and how it goes, I'm just gonna, how did you go from like, feeling like paycheck to paycheck and like being in school to being where you are now? Like, what were, what was the what was the impetus to even getting out of like, just doing the nine to five.

Hazel Ortega 14:12  

Okay, so I finished college, and I became a psychologist and I got a job, right? And so the college taught me how to do a new job and it was great. And it taught me how to think differently, and especially in psychology, think different and help others, right? So I'm learning that I can actually think differently and becoming educated gave me tools to react differently to the problems I was having in life. The problems never changed. I just react different because I learned to do better. So I got a job as a psychologist. I was still bouncing checks. I didn't work on that part. The ...

Lesley Logan 14:48  

Well, you didn't go to financial school, you went to psychology school, so you know. (Hazel: Exactly)

Hazel Ortega 14:53  

So, I was still bouncing checks negative in my account and feeling really like, I was going to live a life of poverty until the rest of my life and and Lesley, I'll tell you this, that people that don't have any money and people that have a lot of money can both have equal fear of not having enough money. (Lesley: Yeah) It's really as a mindset and something that everybody should work on. You could be, you could have a million dollars in the bank, and then feel like you're, you know, paying for dinner. And then people are not pitching in like, like, they're taking advantage of you, like you know ...

Lesley Logan 15:30  

Oh, 100 100%, that money mindset is so key because I mean, I know people who make millions of dollars, and they have the same fears that I do, and I'm not making millions yet. But, um, but like, you know, and I'm like, I like see that in them. And I'm like, "This is not something I want to grow with me. This, we need to take care of now."

Hazel Ortega 15:51  

Yes, and you can, you definitely can have freedom around money. So, what I did is I started to take personal development courses. And that is where everything changed exponentially for me, where I was starting to really learn about the way I think and why I think that way in and how can I think differently. And then you can have a mindset shift, like in a nanosecond, where once you see something new in a new way, you'll never go back to see it the old way. So it behooves all of us to master ourselves to learn about ourselves, and look at life in whole new different ways that this is a personal development seminar, I had a coach. And so I think that's really important for all of us to have coaches and mentors, because they see something in you that you can't see for yourself and they hold the space. Right? And my coach asked me, "Where do you see yourself in five years?" At the time, I couldn't think of anything that would be different in five years, then then what was happening in that moment. I still was the early stages of my personal development, and I call it my embryonic stage of personal development ...

Lesley Logan 17:12  

I love that so much, yeah, but I think, I think ... like so many people don't invest in a coach, because either they've never heard of one. Or even they may think they can't afford it or don't deserve it. So how did you like, how did you get to where you feel like, I'm gonna invest in this person?

Hazel Ortega 17:29  

I didn't actually invest in the personal development coach, that was something that was assigned to me. And that was my, probably my first exposure to having a coach, (Lesley: Okay, okay, got it) I'm having an ability, I became used to it. And then when I was done with the course, in my own personal life, I hired a coach for the first time for my business. 

Lesley Logan 17:51  

Got it. Okay, I see that, thank you for sharing that. Because I think sometimes people like you did stuff to get there to get, to where you could. And so this person asked you to see yourself in five years, you couldn't do that.

Hazel Ortega 18:04  

I couldn't come up with anything, it was like the beginning, I was blocked, like kapow. And then I was, you know, very reasonable about everything at that time, in the sense of like, you know, based on my reality, like, what is, what's going to happen in five years, and I thought, well, in five years, me... well, I'll just be five years older. Like, there's no reason why anything should be, you know, very different. (Lesley: Right) Oh, she, you know, she asked me that, and I still couldn't come up with anything. So I'm sitting there, and she's holding space for me. I'll wait, you think about it, you know, and she gave me like, 10 minutes. And I knew I couldn't get away with like, I don't know. So I sat there and after a few minutes, I said, "Well, if I believe in God, and I believe in miracles, then what is possible for me in five years," and that opened up this world that I didn't have access to before I realized that I never dream. I'm all of us, a lot of us are mostly realistic. We're trained in school to be realistic, to be logical, to ... that, you know, two plus two is four, four plus four is eight. And that's the way it goes expert, you know, you get success as you build on it. (Lesley: Yeah) And trying to be a millionaire. If you have no money in the bank, it doesn't even seem feasible, or nobody else in your family has ever been a millionaire. It just ...

Lesley Logan 19:21  

That, that's exactly it. If you've never seen it, it's really hard to dream it. And if people around you are saying, "This is it, this is what you're doing." You know, like, cuz I definitely had those people in my family who were like, "Why, why would you do that?" Or like, "Don't do that, because like, you could lose everything." And it's like, "Well, I don't have a lot to lose. So I may as well cope," you know, go for it. But like it's hard if the people in your environment haven't shown you that there. It's okay, it's safe to dream and it's, it's powerful to dream.

Absolutely. I mean, I'm divorced now. But when I was married, I changed jobs. And my my husband at the time, was telling me, "Why you changing jobs. What if, what if that new job, it doesn't work out and then you're gonna lose this other job that you have, and you've been there for so long." Unlike, what the other job pays more is it, I'm gonna have a better position. And I explained it to him and he was very scared for me. (Lesley: Yeah, yeah) and I did it anyway. But yes, he, you know, I could have thought to myself back then, like, "Oh, he's keeping me down, or he doesn't believe in me, he's always being negative." But now as I got my training these people in our lives, which are our mothers, our fathers, brothers and sisters, and spouses, and significant others, and everybody, they're afraid for us, right? They create these fears for us. And we're, you know, our we have a mustard seed of confidence. And we're like, you know, (Lesley: Yeah) you need a little bit that we have, and then they come in, they make us feel like, like, we should be very scared, and don't do it. (Lesley: Yeah) ... Feel the fe... you know, feel the fear and do it anyway. These people love us. They... I'm very clear about that. They don't want to keep us small, but what they want to do is keep us safe. Yeah, don't lose everything. You're gonna lose your money, don't invest in that, you're gonna lose this you all your time, you're gonna get sick. ... so that's you're free.

I I love that. You said that because we have a mantra to Be It pod. It's like "Do It Scared." And so there's like all this, these clothes, this merch, like, "Do It Scared" because people ask all the time, like, "How did you do that? I'm so scared." Like, "I'm scared all the time. I'm just doing it scared." Like, I don't even like sometimes like in Cambodia, I try to learn to drive when I'm in Cambodia, on a moped, moped. And everyone drives in different, like, they're just going there's no streets like lanes, you just drive and you make a left hand turn, you make it into oncoming traffic. And then when you when it's safe, you merge over. And I literally just go, "Aaah," as I'm going in, I don't know. Somehow, it lets me like peddle. (Lesley laughs) So I love that you said that. So, I also just wanted to go back to you. So you came up with something to, you dreamt something up in five years, because you believe like, if I believe in God, if I believe in miracles, and I believe this. I think so many people are like you that they ha... they get stuck, they have a block, they're afraid. I do a lot of coaching people and I'm like, "Where do you want to be in 10 years?" And they're like, "I don't I don't even know I want to be next month." And I'm like, and then they're embarrassed by it. But that's actually not abnormal to not be able to think that far ahead. So I'm so glad you said that because a lot of people would just assume the like, "Okay, I wrote down I'm gonna do in five years," and you had a, you had a block. So how did what did you write down? How did you get past that block?

Well, you know, your brain is this beautiful organ that keeps you alive. However, it also keeps you small and in fear, right? And so if you understand your brains, the way the brain works, you can outsmart your brain, right? And so when I said, you know, when I heard that question, I couldn't think of anything. I mean, I couldn't think of anything for five years. But when I said miracles, well, your brain is not, it's not programmed to make a miracle happen. So it allowed me to have that vision. That's why I think the miracle mentality miracle mindset is really important to to establish, because then you can really make miracles happen. You ...

So you're replacing right miracles for goals, like your like, you put miracles in there. Because then your brain isn't like, "Oh, that's not actually logistically possible in five years." ... Because by miracle your brains like, "Okay, I'm willing to leave room for that." ...

Hazel Ortega 23:31  

Yeah. Imagine your brain, you put in there that you want to have a million dollars, your brain is faster than the calculator. It's already like, "No, not gonna happen." (Hazel laughs)

Lesley Logan 23:42  

It's so true. It's so true. You know, I'll think of things I'm like, "Oh, I wanna do that from 40." And then immediately my brain is like, "Well, where does that money come, where it's going?" And it's like, it's like, "No, stop. You don't have to worry about that. It's happening from 40." And I'm going to insert miracles, insert miracles, instead, I love it.

Hazel Ortega 23:59  

Yeah, do that. And even like, you could say, "I want to be in love. I want to have the love of my life." But you're married to a differ... to a person that you don't believe that that's the person, you know and you absolutely can fall in love and have the love of your life with the current relationship that you have even if you think like this person cannot change this, you know, miracles do happen, give people chances, and you'll see it, you'll absolutely see it. I wish I had this information on when I was a lot younger, my life would look even different, more different, and I would have avoided a lot of pain and suffering. But it's never too late and I'm still young. (Lesley: Yeah) You know, (Hazel laughs)

Lesley Logan 24:39  

You're still... well, we're also young. I mean, I mean, people are living to a 120 these days. So, okay, everyone's dying to know, what was on the thing and five years ago, what did you get all of it?

Hazel Ortega 24:51  

Okay, so I said, I wanted to have a life that look... like I was always on vacation ...

Lesley Logan 24:59  

Well, you do. You look like you're about to like go out to the pool right now. (Lesley laughs) Yeah

Hazel Ortega 25:04  

... now at my house. (Lesley: Yeah) I'm, I'm living my dream every single day. I'm always in awe of how I manifest this into my life. But I'm always creating my life, right? So I could for the first time ever I created that I had a like, look like I was always on vacation. I said, I wanted to have a $3 million plus business. At the time, I did have my own business. I started it from my garage. Well, I grew it to be the largest company in California that offers counseling for injured workers. Then I said, I wanted to find the love of my life. I didn't even believe in that. I thought it was something you know, that was for people on television, because I, I didn't even see it in, see it in real life. My mom married and divorced many times and I was already divorced at this time also. So, I didn't believe that you could have the love of your life. And if you did, it wasn't sustainable. So it was all faced, not based on fear. I had fear but everything. (Lesley: Yeah) I also said I wanted to fly in private jets and I wanted to live in a pimp daddy mansion, the kind where music videos are filmed. ... I'll know that I had none of it at the moment when I said it.

Lesley Logan 25:17  

Right. And so are people filming music videos in your pimp daddy mansion? Is it happening?

Hazel Ortega 26:21  

Yes, it definitely happening and Grey's Anatomy is looking at my home to do a season here, filming here, (Lesley: Oh my gosh, stop!) (Lesley laughs) I tell you, I can't even invent this stuff. Like, I think you know, you when you create the life that you want. You not only get the life that you said you want, but you also get a bag of chips. That means it's even better than you created it. And you think it can't get better, but always can get better.

Lesley Logan 26:49  

I agree. I everything I've ever achieved that I wanted. It came with more than I expected and, and it's and it's true. Y'all, if you're listening, like, "How does she know the stuff." So, we had Hazel and as an agency, an agency for a webinar. And after a year you did your talk on, "How to like create your miracle mindset." Brad and I went for a walk and I had been struggling with like, because I'm building a business to sell. Y'all, I'm not gonna say which one but one of them I'm building to sell and I kept getting stuck on like, "Who's buying this? Like, who would buy this?" You know, not in like a negative, it's not worth buying because we have hundreds of members. So it's, you know, it's, it's everything people want, but like, "Who would who would buy it someday." And on the walk, I like got so clear on exactly who would buy it, how much they're buying it for all the things and I was like, and it was so funny because immediately Brad had that his brain was like, "What I was like, it's miracle time". It's miracle tell your brain, this is a miracle. This is not I got, this a miracle. And it was so fun and we have like got a dream board going on. So you can see it all the time. It's a really, I'm really excited about. So, I can't wait to get all that in a bag of chips, like, it is really fun.

Hazel Ortega 28:04  

You know, follow it up, follow it up with okay, so you created who is going to buy it and how much they're going to pay for it. Okay, so then and then what? What was was going to change for you. Now you're going to have more freedom. Now you're going to travel, you know now what, you now you're going to have a nonprofit. What benefits are there to selling your company? Like all of what your life is going to look like when you sell it? (Lesley: Ah) That's ... golden, the next golden step ...

Lesley Logan 28:33  

Okay, done. Don't worry, I'll do that homework this weekend ... (Lesley laughs) (Hazel: And that's so much fun) Oh, it's so much fun. Hazel, you're so fun. I just I'm so go... I really when I heard your story, I was like, "We have to have her on" because I just know that there are people sitting there listening and they're stuck. And they keep getting logistical on like logical on their on their things. And, and so they keep listening to inspo. And they're like, "Well, didn't works for them, didn't work for me." And I just had to have you on because like, you are a representation that like, if you put it out there and then and then this is this is like a fun thing. So people are like, so for the people who are being logical. You put this out, you put these miracles out. What is the first thing you did to get the ball rolling on the miracles?

Hazel Ortega 29:22  

Okay, so, I did these things, subconsciously, I didn't have like a to-do list that would make these things happen. I crea... I created my vision right in my brain. And then I drew it and it become to my house, my drawing is framed and it's in my dining room. And you can see this, it's like, "One day is going to be in the museum of Hazel," right? (Hazel and Lesley laughs) (Lesley: Yes.) And my statue is gonna be there too. (Hazel laughs)

Lesley Logan 29:51  

Absolutely, I hope it's wearing a red hat. (Hazel laughs)

Hazel Ortega 29:55  

Okay, so, I drew it and then what happened is that in my real life, I didn't have those things, right. So, I one of the things I also said I wanted was a relationship with my sisters that looked like we were in heaven. At the time when I drew it, I was fist fighting with my sisters. So, I did not have that relationship with them. I was a psychologist, fist fighting with my sister who was a police officer at the time. Okay ...

Lesley Logan 30:23  

So it's gonna be a TV show, just so you know, this will be a movie. (Hazel laughs)

Hazel Ortega 30:29  

Yes. And so, what I did was, once I saw it in my brain, when I what I saw in real life was not that and it made me take action. So in the area of money, I took a course, the Dave Ramsey course, I was tired of being broke and paycheck to paycheck. So, I took a Dave Ramsey course to bu... to budget, to learn how to budget, okay, and I even need budget anymore. But by ...

Lesley Logan 30:58  

... now, so you know, probably is very helpful.

Hazel Ortega 31:02  

It was very helpful. And I created a group of women who also wanted to get out of the paycheck to paycheck barely (Lesley: Yeah) making that and start to budget. And then what's your budget? Why do you want to budget? Well, I want to budget because I want to save money. Okay, why don't want to save money? Well, because once I save money, that I want to invest money, I want my money to grow. (Lesley: Yeah) So, I had like the why, why, why? (Lesley: Yeah) became everything's I was doing ... So, and then I named the group of Millionaire Women of Whittier, the city that we live that, and the women in the group were very uncomfortable that I named it women, millionaire women, and they were like, "We don't want to be millionaires." I'm like, "How could you say that?" You know, and so I'm like, "It's just a game. It's just, you know, like for fun?" Well, they were not liking it right now. I started a new group called Billionaire Women's Club. And that one, too, I invited one of my friends to it, and and she's one of my wealthiest friends I have. And she said, "You know, I don't want to be a billionaire." I'm just like, "What is this all about?" ...

Lesley Logan 32:02  

Have you heard of Rachel Rodgers? She has these "Shmellies" like she millionaires? (Hazel: Oh, no) yeah, she calls these "Shmellies." I don't it's a group that she created. Because she, she wrote a book like, "Everyone's a Millionaire," or "We Can All Be Millionaires" or something like that. So it's, I think, I mean, that's a whole different topic for a different podcast, Hazel, that we could have all these women on to talk about, like, what are women afraid of about being millionaires and billionaires, and I think it's a lot of like, stuff that we were raised with the patriarch. So you know, but I think it's great, the work you're doing, you're doing the Lord's work there. Because it's like, if we can get more and more women to aspire and believe that they can be millionaires or billionaires, like, you know, just imagine what the little girls growing up, get to see as possible, you know, their miracles will be huge. They'll be bigger than ours.

I'm telling you, so I learned this technology, right. And now, I, in the last 10 years, I just celebrated my 10 year business anniversary. And, number one, I am still in business, which I've you know, statistically most businesses do not do not last the first five years, (Lesley: Yup) then it's it's a multi million dollar business. So that statistically, is remarkable. (Lesley: Very right. Yeah) It's a miracle. I'm a woman business owner, a miracle, I'm a minority with miracle, you know, and I'm in workers comp... niche where there's, there's, it's a miracle. (Lesley: Yeah) And so I've been able to help 40,000 injured workers with through our counseling to train and get jobs, they love, 40,000. So because I learned this technology, and I changed my life. Now 40,000 people were impacted. And who knows ...

Yeah, you're chaning them in bigger ways. So I mean, y'all, I hope you heard that. Like she, she did all this miracle work, miracle mindset. And then she took some action, which is possible. She's like, "Okay, if I want to get better with money, I need to actually know how to be better with if, I want to have money, I better know how to use it. If I want to have relationship with my sisters, I better work on that" like so, I think that's really cool. I mean, Hazel, have to have you back because I could just keep talking to you. But I feel like I'm really excited to go back to my journal and my picture and add to it. Okay, Hazel first before we get to the Be It steps. We're letting people get a pen and paper. How can people follow you, find you get to know, you work with you?

I'm on Instagram, @hazelortega_official is my Instagram and a lot of people reach out to me there and ask me questions and everybody can feel free to do that. My website is themasteryofmiracles.com and I have a free visioning guide there that you can use to create your 10 year vision.

Oh, I love it. We're gonna put all that in the show notes. So super easy for everyone to just link on through, get that get that freebie and also get mastering your miracles. And definitely follow her on Instagram because it's so fun. I follow you and it's it's it's inspiring. It's really, it's really fun to watch everything that you're doing. Okay, I asked everyone this, because I think it's great to be inspired. But take action is like my thing because messy action is where you know, all the good stuff comes from it allows you to be scared and do it scared because it's messy, don't be perfect. Perfect is boring. So, what would you say to someone who's listening to this? Like, what's the first thing? What's one or two things that they could do right now to have a miracle mindset?

I have top three things, (Lesley: okay) okay. ... three things, even though my book has 15 things. (Lesley: Okay) Top three things right now, anybody can do wherever they are in their lives, is create the vision for your life 10 years from now, based on miracles, so miracles have nothing to do with you. It's completely to do with the divine. But you have to create that coming from your heart. What do you want in 10 years? And go big, big (Lesley: Yeah) because ... like, you can't ask for small stuff. (Lesley: Yeah) I mean, this guy did everything around us, right? So, go big. God wants you to have the first test tickets. He wants you to have the love of your life. And he wants you to have everything that you want and the bag of chips, okay? So don't go, don't ask for small things. You have a big God, though, that's one. And then number two, change your environment. So like those people that Lesley mentioned, and I mentioned that are naysayers. That's fine. You don't have to get rid of them. But you do need to find another environment to spend more time there. So if you want to have a successful business, that's over a million dollars, then find the group of those people and hang out with that group. If you don't know anybody in that group, Google them. I'm mentored by JLo. Okay, she doesn't know that but she mentors me. (Hazel and Lesley laughs) ...

That's amazing! I want to have like, you need to have like a ... like a sticker or when you put those on the bumper sticker. It's like mentored by JLo.

That's right. That's who mentors me ... JLo, Oprah and Jesus Christ. That's what mentors me. So ... (Lesley: It's a great mentorship group) not do that. And then your third, is celebrate your small wins, you, well, we are always evolving and expanding. So our goals change and grow. And then if you're always just changing, you're going up in it and up in it, then you never feel like you quite get there and that you're successful that (Lesley: Yeah) you've been successful. So celebrate the small things and if it is like opening your second location, then celebrate that you even had that creation of that thought, "Wow, I first I never even thought I could have one business. Now I'm thinking of a second business," celebrate the thought, celebrate with your friends.

You are 100% accurate on that. I couldn't agree more. And there's so much studies on behavior science that like, "Celebration is so key," our brain pays attention to what we're excited about. The CEO for Pink, she, I just see her in an interview, and she was going in to an FDA approval thing for their, their product. And it was like they got rejected the first time, which was like, just so scary. And they went in they actually appealed it. And the day before the appeals where they had to be like ready to answer all the questions, they partied, they celebrated before. And so it is something that is so key. And y'all she sold that business for $15 billion. So and then got it back. Anyways, that's another story. But like miracle, this is the thing. Miracle mindset is like so so. Oh, we could just keep talking but I just want to ... do you have more things today. Sorry.

You're really advanced there because now you're saying, "pre Party," which I love that. And I was saying celebrate. You know when you ...

It's a thought. Yeah. And I'm like, "I'm like party before?" Sold! (Lesley laughs)

I love it. Yes, yes. That's the advanced version. (Lesley: Yeah) ... we're where we're at, we're beginners, where we are creating a vision. Which we're adding a new environment and celebrating the small wins.

Celebrate the small wins. I'm, I am so about that when OPC we just I like say just celebrate even logged in and press play. Even if your kids took you off your mat, or your dog went crazy, just celebrate that you actually open your computer, you logged in, you press play, you skipped all the websites and all the things that could have gotten you there. And that is worth celebrating because your brain will want to find ways to come back to that party. So Hazel, these are such great tips and also just an incredible inspirational story that that I can't wait to, I'm so glad I got to share it because it's really amazing. I'm grateful that Joanna introduced us. Thank you so much for being here. everyone listening please do me a huge favor, screenshot this tag @hazelortega_official, and @be_it_pod with your takeaways. Because the thing is, is if you're believing this way and you're dreaming this way and you get your friend to do it, and they're friends to do it then we stop having people who are scared all the time around us telling us we, we can't do it. (Hazel: It's very very true.) Thank you. Thank everyone for listening. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell 40:45  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 40:52  

Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell 40:58  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 41:07  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell 41:18  

And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.