Be It Till You See It

You are a leader simply by showing up. Today LL and Brad talk about leadership and influence, the myth of stability, and how it's ok to start something new. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Side hustles not side hassles 
• Starting something new 
• Leadership and influence
• The constant practice of being uncomfortable 
• The myth in stability 
• Pushing through the typical drop out rate and keep showing up 
• Scheduling out your ideal calendar

Episode References/Links:

• Free Webinar

OPC Flashcards:

• OPC Flashcards are on Amazon
• OPC Flashcards are on our site

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:01  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap, where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the very practical convo I have a Jason Frazell in our last episode. I'm sure he's gonna hate that we said that (Lesley laughs) but it was so practical. If you haven't yet listen to that interview, feel free to pause this now. Go back and listen to that one. And then come back and join us. Just because it's practical doesn't mean it's not frickin' fun and awesome. (Brad: Doesn't mean it's not full of whoo, Jason.) Whoo. Yeah. (Brad laughs) Jason and I have been coordinating back and forth on for ... his podcast, and he wants you on his podcast, by the way that's me telling you.

Brad Crowell 1:21  

Lovely. Hey surprise! (Lesley: You should proud of that.) (Lesley laughs) I can't wait.

I know. I think the two of you are gonna just have too much fun. So, anyways, he might go ...

We're both whoo. So like we could talk for like 10 hours.

Lesley Logan 1:32  

You both also want to do the Star Wars thing in Florida. (Brad: Oh, yes. Yes we do) Like, yeah, it's like a blind date but you're going. (Brad laughs) Anyways, y'all have been coming back to us saying how much you are enjoying the the webinar I did on your gemstones, and you're scheduling your business life around your actual life priorities. And some of you are using our new scheduling tool, (Brad: Yeah) already. Hello, way to take action. Talk about Be It Till You See It. So yes, we do have a scheduling tool. Brad, you want to tell them?

Brad Crowell 2:00  

I certainly do. It's a we did we did a partnership with another company that did all the software of this. And we had a chance to really dig into the tool before we made the decision with them because we have gone through many scheduling software tools over the years ...

Oh, my God (Brad: invoicing scheduling ...) Do you remember the time we did two different ones in one week. (Lesley laughs)

Yeah, yeah. We started one and then like went go and then realized like, "Oh shit, (Lesley: Like I think ...) this is not gonna work for us."

I think you talked to like one of the founders, like "I love this company. This guy is great." ...

No, no, I talked to one of their head of like customer support, and I had like an hour long call and I got in there. And I asked all the questions, I made all the notes. I was like, "We need to do this. We need to do this. We need to do this." And there was like one thing that was like, yeah, it does, sort of does this. And what we realized at the end of it was it fucking has to do that. And we didn't realize that like, that was like a hard "No." And we should have should have hit "No." Anyway. Yeah, that was a bummer. But you know, lovely people, and I love what they were standing for and doing. But we are very excited about what we've been able to (Lesley: Yeah) partner with and roll out there. So if you are interested in, first off, basically, we've got a an opportunity for you to learn how Lesley prioritizes her schedule, (Lesley: Mm-hmm) we've got a free webinar for you to take. And you will get to that webinar by going to profitablepilates.com/gemstones. (Lesley: gemstones) And ...

And that'll make sense when you get there when you watch the webinar.

If all the tools, that it's all it's kind of the method behind how she creates her ideal schedule. And then at the end of it, we talk about the scheduling tool itself.

Lesley Logan 3:36  

Yeah, so you can dive into both, at least take away an amazing schedule and maybe even you know, sign yourself up for a tool that actually works. Okay, but, Brad, do we have an audience question to respond to?

Brad Crowell 3:56  

We did. As you may know, we have Full Body in 15 coming up that's for onlinepilatesclasses.com and that is going to be for the it's a seven day free program to get a full body workout in 15 minutes and we're going to over the course of a week teach you everything about that. And the question was, "Do I have to know Pilates to participate in this Pilates program?" And ...

Lesley Logan 4:24  

... that's a great question. (Brad: Yeah) So, I actually designed it for the person who's like been afraid to try it, been curious but doubtful to try it and tried it and thought okay, but like didn't get it. And I I know that sounds like a lot of people but it is and that's ... (Brad: Sure) but that really is if you just like if you've just heard the word Pilates, which you have if you're here. I want you in this because what I have found in my own experience from my myself learning Pilates and then also just teaching is like first of all, always the classes are like an hour and like who has an extra hour to learn something new. Also, Pilates, like anything takes time to get the benefits. But it doesn't mean a quantity of minutes in one shot. It means like a quality, it means quality of movement. (Brad: Yeah) And so I thought, well, I actually know that I can get you the same benefits of Pilates if you do a 15 minute workout. And if you're new, that's all you need. And so I'd rather (Brad: Yeah) you I'd rather you have this 15 minute workout that you do several times a week to get the benefits of Pilates and then dive into more, more time or more equipment, (Brad: Right) more options. Then ...

Brad Crowell 4:28  

Well, when I was, when I was first starting yoga ...

Lesley Logan 5:39  

Those were 90 minute classes. (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 5:41  

No, when I when I was first starting. No, this is years before I met you - years. (Lesley: Oh) The very first time I took a yoga class, my mom had always said, "You should try yoga. It'll help your stretchy, it'll be good for you." I was like, "Sure, whatever." So I got like a Groupon for yoga, a local yoga studio down the street. And I hurt myself so badly in one class, that I couldn't ride my motorcycle home (Lesley: Oh my gosh) because my body was like screaming at me. My back was out was out. Everything was wrong. And I had to sit there and I had to wait for like an hour just to like, for my whole system to settle down before I can ride home. (Lesley: That's crazy.) That was the last time I did yoga for years because I was like, "Well, yoga is clearly not for me." (Lesley: Yeah) Right? And and the thing is like, I was a very athletic person at the time. And I mean, I still am but I was very much then. And I happen to be very flexible. And I was effectively mimicking the instructor doing all the things yet using all the wrong muscles (Lesley: Yeah) relying on my my, bla bla bla bla bla. Anyway, my first experience doing yoga was terrible. And that's because I actually had no instruction there was simply, "Okay, here's the move, do it." And I was like, "... we her." This is all technical (Lesley: Yeah) terms right there. And ...

If you watching on YouTube, you just saw him do the technical.

It was me doing the robot. Yeah. Anyway, we, that is the worst possible experience, right? And so we're doing the opposite with the Full Body in 15, where we're going to take all week to teach you each of the exercises (Lesley: Mm-hmm) from start to finish so that you can approach this without feeling like you know, the person in the room who's like, "What's the next move, I can't remember." And then at the end of the week, you'll be able to thread those exercises together in a 15 minute (Lesley: Yeah) class that you can do at you know, anywhere you are. (Lesley: Yeah) And you'll confidently know a) you're not going to hurt yourself, b) you got a 15 minute full body workout. That's pretty amazing. You don't need to know Pilates to do this.

Lesley Logan 7:38  

No, that's right. You answered it so well. And I think you put the fear of God to the people. (Brad and Lesley laughs) Anyways, anyways, so I really do hope that you join us, person who asked this question because I created it for you. I created it for you. I created for the doubters in the room. I created it for, if Chris is listening, "Yes, Chris. I created it for you." (Brad laughs) And ... (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 8:00  

You know, you know who you are Chris ...

He DM me. He's like, "Are you, did you did you write that? Are you thinking about me when you wrote this?" And I'm like, "Yes. 100% you. 100% you." Your wife is gonna sign you up. Okay. (Lesley laughs) (Brad: I love that)

All right. All right. All right, let's talk about Jason Frazell. Jason Frazell is an East Coaster with a Midwestern attitude who followed his entrepreneurial fire to convert from 20 years in the sales world, in corporate sales, to being an entrepreneur, starting his own business. He is now a certified growth and leadership coach, and a personal brand strategist at Brand Builders Group. As a lover of stories, he also hosts the podcast called Talking to Cool People.

Lesley Logan 8:45  

Yeah, it's a cool podcast. Like he's had some great guests. It's like, you know, lots of great people.

Brad Crowell 8:49  

I mean, I love cool people. Anyway, fascinating, great interview, just like very amicable guy. You listen to him, (Lesley: I know) and you're like, "I wanna know... I wanna hang out with this guy."

Lesley Logan 9:01  

I think he's the best of both of us. (Brad: He's so easy going. Yeah, yeah, yeah) (Lesley laughs) Brad and I talked to him about Strength Finders, (Brad laughs) and he has a similar ones to me and some one's Brad. So he's like, the he's the best of us both. (Lesley laughs) (Brad: I think that's awesome) Right, just taking credit for how amazing Jason is over here. (Brad laughs) So one of the things I liked that he said is, "It's okay to have a side hustle." And I, I think the word "a" the word "hustle" gets a bad rap. And Kareen Walsh and her interview with us said, "It's okay to have a hustle. It's just that you don't want your hustle become a hassle." (Brad: Right) And that (Brad: Yeah) you know, so. I also think that like a lot of people struggle with like, "Well, if it's a side hustle, it's just like a hobby." Well, no, it's it's only a hobby if you like treat it like a hobby. If you're actually treating it like it's a thing that's going to create income for you or be the job that you're going to do or maybe it's a charity for somebody else. It just depends on your intention towards it. But please, by all means, like Profitable Pilates was a side hustle for a long time. Pilates was my side hustle. And (Brad: Right) then and then Profitable Pilates became the side hustle. And then OPC came the side hustle. And the only reason they could do that is because one thing became the actual full time hustle. (Lesley laughs) (Brad: Yeah) The next thing came in, and now I'm say no, I'm not allowed to have any more side hussles. (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 10:14  

Yeah, yeah. No new things ...

Lesley Logan 10:16  

But because they keep growing, but I think I just want to get full permission. It is okay for the thing to start off and be the side hustle thing for however long you need it to be like, (Brad: Yeah) let it be there.

Brad Crowell 10:27  

Yeah. First off, Kareen's episode is 27. If you're interested in going back, it's a great one. And but but yes, specifically, he was talking about some of his clients who have like a fancy corporate job and it almost like starting their own entrepreneurial thing is almost looked down on it's like, "Wait, how are you like the Chief Marketing Officer, but you're like, you know, (Lesley: Oh) starting up popcorn company on the side. I'm making this completely ..."

Well, you all hear my one of my interviews coming up. She was she was that person. And I can't even wait.

Right? But you know, so like, from from like, the, it almost seems strange, where you're like, "Wait, what you like have this whole thing going over here." And then you're like making you're doing this this thing on the side? And and he basically suggesting like, yeah, it's you know, you absolutely especially if you have this, you know, the entrepreneurial bug. I know, Lesley, you and I both know that really well. He said after 20 years of doing sales, he said it just wasn't sitting well with him something wasn't he didn't feel fulfilled. And he like went and got counseling on it. And all the things into this, the his conclusion at the end was, "I'm an entrepreneur, not being an entrepreneur." (Lesley: Yeah) And so yeah, yeah, that's where the side hustle thing started, even though he had a super successful sales, sales career.

Yeah. So no matter who you are, what your title is, it's okay to start something new. Brad, what's one thing that you loved?

Oh, I really loved right out of the gate. The very first thing the two of you talked about was you are a leader, whether you realize it or not.

Lesley Logan 12:00  

Oh, yeah. (Brad: Yeah) Well, that's like, that's just like, I mean, like, that's the people who like think that they don't have influence on Instagram, because don't have thousands of followers. No, if you have followers, you have influence. So you're a leader.

Brad Crowell 12:10  

Yeah. Yeah. For him, he said, most people assume that they're not a leader, because they're not in a management role at at the office. Right? Where they like, "Don't have people quote, unquote, working for them. So, I must not be a leader." And he said the other thing, you know, he said, first off, that's just not, you know, you don't actually need to be the boss, to be the leader. He didn't actually say that I'm saying, "You don't have to be the boss, to be the leader." (Lesley: Right) Which is, which is kind of counterintuitive in the way that we think of corporate structure, but innately with human beings. That's like the reality there. You know, it's just the way that things are you don't actually have to be the person who's been quote, unquote, "put in authority to have in a authority." (Lesley: Yeah) Secondly, he said, for those of you who are parents, you might be teaching them their homework, but you're actually leading your kids, you're actually you know, raising children is also being a leader. (Lesley: Boom) So just definitely something to think about. I thought ...

Lesley Logan 13:07  

No more pressure added to that. (Lesley and Brad laughs) My God, so much. All right. Well, I just really enjoyed our conversation. We, there are so many things that we talked about, and that it like, had a nice winding conversation to it. So

Yeah, I mean, do we didn't even talk about getting comfortable with being uncomfortable? (Lesley: being uncomfortable?) You know ... 

That's so, I feel like that's a constant practice. I've gotta be honest, that's like, it's like, if you don't use it, you lose it. Because like, you can, like get really comfortable and being uncomfortable, and then you get comfortable. And then you gotta get uncomfortable again, and it's like frickin' kicking and screaming. Like, it's like, you have to remember like, "Oh, yeah, I used to be able to run," and it's sore, you're sore, the first few runs out the gate, and then it gets you get a pace and you get going and go further. And like, but like it that's like, I don't know, I feel like it's, it's you either have to constantly stay and uncomfortability so you never have to like, ramp back up, or you're going to be like uncomfortable and then ramp, like, it's a whole, you know,

Brad Crowell 14:11  

Well, I feel like it's for people who live in like, like, quote, unquote, "stability," like the reason to go get a job working for someone else is because you have stability. And his whole argument was, you know, like, I you were talking about peloton and (Lesley: Yeah) Q three, and they dropped 35% their stock. And he said he said, "I have to imagine the majority of the people who work there just lost 35% of their, you know, the wealth they've been accumulating because their stock just dropped 35% and that's a big deal." And he said so even though they have that corporate job, that doesn't necessarily mean they have stability, because now they went on a hiring freeze. They did all this kind of stuff. (Lesley: Oh my gosh) It's actually a story we're telling ourselves.

Lesley Logan 14:54  

100%. If anyone didn't catch that as an employee during 2020 you know, when people went on furloughs and things and like they came back and yeah, like they're just they're nothing is certain and nothing is actually as comfortable as you've told the story to yourself. So, (Brad: Yeah) you know. Yeah

Brad Crowell 15:11  

So anyway, (Lesley: Okay) anyway, (Lesley: Let's talk about BE IT action items.) Yeah, let's jump in. So let the what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items, can we take away from your conversation with Jason Frazell? And the thing that I really liked, he gave a handful actually, at the end, he kind of just rattled off a whole bunch. But he, he threw in there, just keep showing up.

Yeah, (Brad: you know) that you could like to Be It till you see it, just keep showing up.

Yeah. And, and obviously, you know, like, if, if, if the action that you're doing is to smack your head into the wall, I don't encourage you to continue to smack your head into the wall. But, you know, if you are trying to grow something, or build something, and, you know, you see the there's a hole in the there's a need for what it is that you're doing. Maybe nobody else is doing it, that's okay. You know, just keep showing up. And whether that's building even with it with like building your fitness business. I know a lot of people listen to this, our fitness business owners. You know, there's clearly a whole industry there. And if you keep showing up, you know, you will find those clients, you will grow your business. You know what we're talking about the messy middle, we're talking about the dip, (Lesley: Mm-hmm) you know, a couple a couple episodes ago. (Lesley: Mm-hmm) It's like when it gets tough is when most people abandon the thing ...

Lesley Logan 16:30  

Oh yeah, we were in a conversation in a car somewhere. That's we're talking about the debt, like (Brad: Yeah) most people abandon theirs ... Because unless you're going into the metaverse, which I just learned about today. (Brad and Lesley laughs) Well, today is on the date, and we're recording this so two weeks ago, it finally got explained to me. Unless you're like living your life there. You, there there there's every single industry has been around. And so you can actually look back and you can find out when people quit, when people stopped when like you can look at like apps and like see like, "Oh, they were going their own or they quit." When are these things happening. And so then you all you have to do is actually figure out how much money do I need to get past X point because after X point, it's like there's only this many people that I'm competing with ...

Brad Crowell 16:39  

You've out so you survived past the majority of your competition.

Lesley Logan 17:19  

It's podcast. Like podcasts, they say the (Brad: sure) average podcast is seven episodes. So (Brad: seven) seven. So if you (Brad: that seems crazy to me), if you get past episode seven on your podcast, you're already better than average. What? And then ...

Brad Crowell 17:31  

Yeah, it's also so much fucking work. Like how (Lesley: It's so much work) could you stop in 7 episodes ... (Brad laughs)

Lesley Logan 17:35  

I don't out because it's like, (Brad: it's kind of incredible) it's like I were at episode 60. What? (Brad: This is gonna...) 74. (Brad: this is 74) We're doing 74 right now. 74 right now. Oh my God, we better plan our 100. And we're still working things out. Like there's still so much work. We're still growing, we're still new, but at the point is is like like, you can be in the top 30% of podcasts if you could just make it past like 12 episodes. (Brad: Yeah. (Brad laughs) So just keep showing up. (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 17:35  

Yeah. Just keep showing up. Awesome. Well, hey, what about you?

Lesley Logan 17:54  

Oh, well of course, of course, I'm obsessed with this. Block out your ideal schedule in your calendar. So obviously, you can go back to profitablepilates.com/gemstones to hear how I do my but like, I swear he didn't know this, how I do this. (Brad laughs) But what he's saying is before like, even though you might not be doing the job, or the business you want to be doing whatever the thing is, you might not be doing that. Put that ideal schedule in and then pin try that on. So like have, like for him like have the coaching calls appoint like in your calendar, obviously people could book them, but like, have them in there don't just like watch, don't don't just like go to the doctor or like go to the grocery store, like actually have them in there. So you can actually feel and see the schedule, because you might think that you want to have 20 clients, he said, but maybe you don't actually know at 20 hours of client's feels like ...

Brad Crowell 18:53  

He said 30 and the two of you both had a laugh. (Lesley and Brad laughs)

Lesley Logan 18:57  

I still, I mean I did 30 when I wasn't oh my God, that's so much. But I didn't have anything else to do. So thank God for that. Anyways, I really like this. I think this is one of the best ways if you want to Be It till you see it. If you actually make your schedule, even just like a part of your schedule each day. Look like the schedule you wish you were living currently, you are going to actually end up having that for yourself. It's really cool.

Brad Crowell 19:21  

Well, I think Taylor Smith was the teacher who started (Lesley: Yeah. The Etsy girl.) the Etsy. (Lesley: Mm-hmm) She talks about her getting up in the morning and dedicating time to customer service. And she said, "Even if I don't have any customer service messages, I still sit down. I log in. I go to the thing and I go this is my time for customer service." And if there's no no messages she goes, "That means that my product descriptions are so great that I didn't have any questions from anybody." But she's also creating a habit. She's blocking out her (Lesley: Yeah) schedule and going, "Alright, from 7:00 till 7:15 I bang out questions on customer service." Right?

Lesley Logan 20:02  

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, if you're like, "Gosh, I wish I could just have time to read in the morning." Then put that in your schedule. And some mornings, you might actually able to read a paragraph like that, you know? (Brad: Yeah) No one's gonna read the whole book. (Brad: Taylor Smith's episode 61.) Yeah, we're just flying through these. Who... well, who else like ... (Brad and Lesley laughs) All right, I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell 20:22  

And, I'm Brad Crowell.

Thank you so much for joining us today. We are so grateful for you. We really really are. (Brad: Yeah) How are you going to use these tips in your life? Let us know by sending us a DM to the pod on Instagram. Make sure you screenshot the episode, tag us, tag Jason Frazell. I know you'll have a great laugh maybe on talking to him about Cool People. And we'll catch you on the next episode.

Bye for now.

Lesley Logan 20:42  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day!

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell 21:15  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan 21:26  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell 21:31  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 21:39  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell 21:51  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

What does it look like to follow the thing that keeps you up at night? From choosing to go with your passion to getting comfortable with uncomfortably, Jason Frazell brings practical steps to creating your ideal life schedule. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Attracting the people you’re meant to work with 
• What does the noes mean about you and for you?
• The pace of starting something new
• Getting comfortable with comfortability 
• Scheduling your ideal day

Episode References/Links:

• Website
• Podcast
• IG
• FB
• LinkedIN
• Brand Builders Groups

Guest Bio:

Jason is a Growth and Leadership Coach for high-impact people and teams in tech. He is also the host of the podcast Talking to Cool People, a speaker and is a leader at a coach training program.

OPC Flashcards:

• OPC Flashcards are on Amazon
• OPC Flashcards are on our site

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Hey, BE IT listener, what's up? I have an awesome guest for you, Jason Frazell. Ah, so fun. Um, we probably should have recorded everything before I hit record. And then after, it might out of context mean nothing to most listeners, but it was super fun. And I'm really excited to have ... his words in your ears because he is someone who was in a regular, real job, real, (like all jobs are real, that's lame) but really, like, you know, the ones with the 401k, and the health insurance and the paid vacations and all the things and he was slaying, you know, he was doing so great. And he changed that. And he's now working for himself. And it's can be scary. And, you know, like many of us who had maybe started something new. And then the pandemic happen, you know, Brad and I, Brad came working for me full time, three months before, (Lesley laughs) for me with me for three months before the pandemic happened. And, you know, it can be really scary when you have made a leap. And then something happens that makes you question whether or not that leap was a good idea or not. And so, what I love is, he made that leap, he's dove straight in, he's really rocking it. And he's an expert in a lot of things. And he's got a really cool podcast, and I was on it. So y'all gotta go, listen, we'll have that link in the show notes below. But um, what I hope you hear from this podcast is that, you know, having people around you that support you, inspire you is important. Especially when you're wondering if you should do the thing and also that like, whatever it is that you're doing working for someone, working for yourself. There's there's a lot of pressures and a lot of scary stuff. But, you know, if it's the thing that you have on your heart to do, you got to do it, you got to find a way to do it. So here is Jason Frazell.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

All right, everyone. Hello, welcome back to Be It Till You See It. I am so excited. I have a conversation for you. I have this amazing guests name is Jason Frazell. I hope I didn't screw that up because ... (Jason: You got that Lesley) asked (Lesley laughs) (Jason: You're good) this it's so funny is, um, we we randomly connected inside of a group that we're both in. And then because the world is so small, and I was like, "Who knows who's ever interviewed a Pilates person?" You're like, "Oh, do you happen to know this guy, Benjamin?" I'm like, "Oh, yeah." (Lesley laughs) Benjamin, I go way back, like years back. So it's just (Jason: Yeah) funny that we have mutual friends in (Jason: We do) common. And we didn't even know each other until the interwebs brought us together. So Jason, can you tell everyone, who's listening, who you are and what you're excited about right now?

Jason Frazell 3:13  

Yeah, Lesley. I am, so like you said I'm Jason Frazell. Congratulations on getting my last name correct in the first try. (Lesley: Yeah) So yea it puts you in the top like third of all people. There you go. (Lesley: Well, we like to be unique) I am ... Yeah, so I always like to start with. So I'm a dad. I've got two kids, married, from Minnesota live in New York now, moved out 15 years ago. So, I'm a, I call myself East Coaster with a Midwestern attitude sometimes. (Lesley laughs) So that's like ... (Lesley: Sometimes) sometimes

Lesley Logan 3:41  

... 15 years. I mean, yeah, that's a sometimes (Jason: Yeah) at that point.

Jason Frazell 3:44  

I can, I can also cut people New York style. (Jason Yeah) So what I do for work, which is what I think you're asking is I'm a growth and leadership coach. And I specifically focus on people and teams and tech. So, I work with founders, co founders, individual contributors, directors all the way up, both in startups and in big tech. So, I have customers that work at places like Facebook and Google, and I also coach with a lot of startups. In addition to that I'm a fellow podcaster. (Lesley: Yeah) And I won't spoil the surprise, we won't ... spills surprise, Lesley is gonna be a guest on my show soon, (Lesley: Yeah) very soon. I have a show called "Talking to Cool People." It's a fun podcast similar to this where we'll talk about some cool stuff. And then I'm also a personal brand strategist at a company called Brand Builders Group, which I know you're familiar with. (Lesley: Yeah. I love ...) They know a little bit about me.

Lesley Logan 4:29  

I love Brand Builders. They've been so good to me. And also, we've had many Brand Builders on the show. So it's really ... (Jason: Nice.) Yeah, it's really great. Jason, I want to talk about being a leadership coach, though, because I think it's really interesting, because I actually, I think so few people realize how much of a leader they are on this on this planet, right? Like, (Jason: Yeah) like every single one of us has it's opportunity to lead people and we ... (Jason: Everyone) We think it's like, "Oh, maybe, maybe I maybe only teach five people" or maybe only maybe, maybe you don't actually run a company, but we actually all have an opportunity to be a leader to somebody. So, how do you, how do you, first how do you become a leadership coach? And then second, what are you seeing happening as far as people? What's getting in the way of people seeing that in themselves?

Jason Frazell 5:14  

Yeah. I'm going to answer your the first part of your question with two answers. How do you become a leadership coach? You don't have to do anything. You call yourself a leadership coach. (Lesley laughs) It's not like it's so it's not like being a Pilates. I mean, I guess you could call yourself a Pilates instructor ...

Lesley Logan 5:31  

Yeah, we're supposed to go to the training. (Lesley laughs)

Jason Frazell 5:33  

Right? But so you can call yourself that. But then people go, "Wait a second, how are you trained?" So anybody can call someone as a leadership coach, life coach and executive coach. So that's what makes the coaching industry a little bit different is there's no regulation. (Lesley: Right) So you see people call themselves, else, there's probably my guess is there's probably Pilates coaches who don't have training would be my guess. Or (Lesley: Yeah) if they have, they don't have the level of training that you do. That's, so to answer the first part of your question, how I became a leadership coach is I actually, almost four years ago, was in the middle of my my corporate career, and I just like something wasn't working for me. And I wasn't really sure what it was. I ended up hiring somebody worked with her for eight months. Through that work, I decided that I was going to go through the same coach training program that she went through, ended up doing a year long coach training program, put in hundreds of hours, from there have coached over a thousand hours of people and I'm now a leader at that coach training program. So that, so how I call myself a leadership coach, is how you call yourself a Pilates coaches through training, and time in the field and the good, bad and the ugly that all that comes with.

Lesley Logan 6:36  

That is insane. That is (Jason: Yeah) that's a lot. So but I, but I also love that (Jason: A lot) because I think sometimes you, what it sounds like is you set out to work in corporate and have this job. And then you're like, "I have a problem. I'm gonna hire someone." And then you're like, "Wow, this is really cool. I want to help other people." (Jason: Yeah) I actually think that's how most people end up where they're gonna be and (Jason: Totally) and they put this pressure on themselves that they're supposed to know what they want to be when they grow up. But they might not have had the experience to know what that is yet.

Jason Frazell 7:04  

No. I'm, I'm so with you. So, if you talk a lot of coaches that I know that do more personal coaching, most of them hired a coach, and they're like, "Oh, this work is really fulfilling. Oh, this is something I want to do." So, I agree with you on all that. And yeah, I agree. Like, I think that's like for those and I came from corporate I worked almost 20 years in corporate for me as like, "Hey, something's missing. I've got this problem." I'm not sure what the problem is, which is interesting way to buy something when you're like, "I don't know what the problem is." But I'm (Lesley: Right) gonna spend money on it anyway, and then quickly discovered what it was I just didn't like, what I was bored. I mean, that's what it came down that I was bored. And I had the entrepreneurial fire. And I didn't, but I was too comfortable. So, I didn't know it. And so (Lesley: Yeah. There ...) yada, yada, yada, as they say on Seinfeld here we are on the podcast. (Jason and Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 7:10  

But it's all I've had, I have friends who, who lost their jobs. And they, I was like, "I'm so sorry." They're like, "Honestly, the best thing ever happened," because it was like, it was too comfortable. But also couldn't leave it because like, you know, it's hard, it's hard to leave the paycheck and the guaranteed and all the benefits and all the things. So you're you've been thousands of hours later. So my other question is, like, what keeps people from thinking that they're a (Jason: Yeah) leader?

Jason Frazell 8:17  

Yeah. So for some people, and I think this really relates to ... I don't want to stereotype. But you see this, this is obviously gonna make sense for people that are a little bit newer into their career, newer into their, into their personal journey, is the idea that you have to have somebody reporting to you. We have to have some sort of actual authority over somebody. I don't agree with that. I think to your point, we always have to, we always have the opportunity to be leaders. So for example, you and I are going to have people listen to us on this podcast, and they're going to go, they may like me, they may hate me, but they're probably going to listen to what I have to say. It's same for you, they probably, probably love you, which is why they're tuning in. (Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 8:56  

A laugh is helpful, actually. (Jason and Lesley laughs) I think some of them listen for that. (Lesley laughs)

Jason Frazell 9:00  

Yea I bet they like the laugh. They like Lesley's laugh and amongst other things. But um, so I think the disconnect for people is understanding that we actually know a lot more than we think we do, especially when we're starting out, especially in fields where it's not purely about expertise. Like things like sales, things like marketing, where a lot of that is very artful. And you bring it and you bring a different perspective, like, obviously, there are certain fields that are quite into the note like ... you know, like engineering, manufacturing, where you really need to know the specifics. I think like fitness, (Lesley: Yeah) you really need to know a lot of the science behind that to do a good job with it. But (Lesley: Yeah) understanding that what you bring is a unique flavor. And that as you build that people look to you as a leader, whether or not you're managing them. I think that's (Lesley: Yeah) that's one of the first disconnects. The second disconnect that I see is people that have a job they don't like and they don't acknowledge that all the other roles they play in their life has them be a leader, whether they're a parent, their date, you know their spouse or they're in a romantic relationship, that friends are involved in their church, they're involved in charities. All those places we get to show up as leaders and a lot of people like, "Well, I'm not a leader because I don't manage anybody at work." (Lesley: Right) And I would say, do you, you know, do you, "Do you help your kids with their homework?" That's leadership, I mean, it's parenting, but it's also leadership and how do you show up there. So. I'm with you, everybody is a leader in their own way. And we all (Lesley: Yeah) played it in many, many different roles.

Lesley Logan 10:18  

Yeah, yeah. I love that. I am ... So, I want to go into you recently got into your coaching business. So you were in corporate for 20 years? How recently, (Jason: Yeah) I mean, like, a thousands of hours (Jason: Three years) of coaching? Three years? Okay

Jason Frazell 10:31  

Yeah. Three years. Yeah. (Lesley: Yeah. So ...) It feels like a long time.

Lesley Logan 10:35  

Especially with a COVID year ... (Lesley laughs)

Jason Frazell 10:37  

I know, the COVID year, yeah, exactly.

Lesley Logan 10:38  

Especially with COVID year. I'm always shocked when I realized .... we moved to Vegas, Las Vegas, from Los Angeles during the pandemic. And it surprises me how long I've lived here because it (Jason: Yeah) doesn't it feels long. It also doesn't feel that long. So it (Jason: Yeah) it's like a it's weird time work. But you guys, you've been doing this for a little over three years, thousands of hours. Similar to when we start this podcast, there was no episodes, no listeners. When you start a coaching business, it's not like, it's not like you open the doors and people are like, lined up already. So, how do you, how did you start that? Like, how did you go, how did like, because there's a there is a Be It Till You See It in there. Like, you're telling your people, (Jason: Yeah) "I'm a coach." And yet you have no clients.

Jason Frazell 11:18  

Yeah. I'm laughing about this for two reasons. One, because there's a lot of people on LinkedIn, who will sell you that will try and sell you on, "oh, we'll fill up your practice with these people." Um, no.

Lesley Logan 11:30  

Oh my God, they do that on LinkedIn, you know what I (Jason: Yeah) have it there's like, on because I get the DMs on Instagram daily, daily (Jason: Say thing probably) right, like, (Jason: Yeah) "Here for $7, you can get 7000 followers. And also like, what, what's your affiliate because I can bring you tons of customers." It's like, "Hmm." (Jason: And you're like, "Yeah.") I don't think you can. (Lesley laughs) So this happen (Jason: Yeah) on LinkedIn. Okay.

Jason Frazell 11:51  

Yeah. So, um, the way that I started my business is, well, first of all, I just, I just started it, right. So I just said, "Okay," and I was in my coach training program. So I had a grand total of maybe 30 hours of training, and decided that I was going to go out and find some clients. (Lesley: Yeah) So I went out and did that. And I did that through word of mouth and my network and said, "Hey, this is what I'm up to. Anybody interested in doing some pro bono stuff?" (Lesley: Yeah) Becuase when you start out, it's it's nice to you know, it's nice to get out, get some referrals, some testimonials, and let people know that, "Hey, like, you know, I'm new to this." And I wasn't, I wasn't trying to pretend somebody I wasn't, (Lesley: Right) "I'm new to this. And I'd love to provide the service to you". And through that work, just generated some generated some paying clients, which then generates more paying clients and on and on and on, and on, and on, we go. So for me, it was just a matter, it was kind of like a be it till you, you know, like, "Hey, like, this is what I'm going to do. And this is how we train new coaches in the coach training program. I'm a leader at." Just go out and talk to people and start doing it. There's all these and this kind of goes back to the LinkedIn or the Instagram thing, generate followers or LinkedIn, or all these tricks of getting people just like, just go talk to people share authentically on your Facebook page or on your LinkedIn or in your IG like, "This is what I'm up to. Do you know anybody?" (Lesley: Yeah) And eventually, somebody will you'll start to attract the people that you're meant to work with. And the rest is history.

Lesley Logan 13:12  

Yeah. I mean, there's very few businesses that cannot be built on referrals. And (Jason: Right) yes, I think like social media makes us all think that it's a numbers, if it's about how many followers we have. I know people who have 1000 followers who make hundreds of 1000s of dollars. (Lesley: Yeah) and I know people who have hundreds of 1000s of followers who make no money. So it's not the followers. It's like how like, it is that word of mouth. Did you help someone? Did you change their life in some way? And then asking them, "Who else do you know? (Jason: Yeah ...) Who can use what I just gave you?" And it's really, (Jason: Copy chapter ...) it's really crazy. So, I think it's really cool. I love that you started out with like, "Hey, I'm working on this thing. Can I work with you?" And like, "Can you (Jason: Yeah) tell me ...?" I think that it's you know, that is also scary because so many people are afraid of rejection. (Lesley laughs)

Jason Frazell 13:58  

Oh my God. Yeah. Well, and I and I came from, I spent almost 20 years in sales and corporate sales and technology and worked at some big companies worked at some startups. So I was used to getting "Noes" Right? But it's different getting a "no" when you're like, "I don't want your piece of software," And you're like, "No, I don't want to work with you on an individual level." That's a very different, "no." And it took me a while to get used it and I still don't, I still don't, I don't ever like being told "no" but that that's a whole different conversation. But it's I'd still don't like it but it's hard because you're it's just you like I was (Lesley: Right) it was just, it's literally, it was just me and my business and the service that I provided with nothing else behind and people were like, "I don't think so." So, I'm like, "Oh, well what's wrong with me?" Like that's ... what's wrong with me (Lesley: Right) what I need to do differently? And, I don't know ... 

Lesley Logan 14:44  

So, what ... (Jason: Yeah) what do you do differently? Like because it's true like my my husband he does talks on like "200 noes." Like that's how you build your business like go for the noes because the (Jason: Yeah) more noes you get like the better you get at talking about what you do and all this stuff and and he ... You know, he's born salesperson. So, it's really me ... (Jason: I like him already.) I know "noes" do not like bother him that much. He's just like ... I mean, like, it's kind of amazing. So it's been helpful for me (Lesley laughs) as someone who, when people say "no," it's like, "Oh, it's it feels like it's a no to you when it's (Jason: sure) not." So how did you get over that? Or how do you teach people to like not take those noes when it's their personal business? (Jason: Yeah) Your personal coaching? Like, how do you take that? What do you tell yourself?

Jason Frazell 15:26  

Yeah, so this is an interesting question. I'm thinking about this, how I do it for myself. And then also, when I'm coaching other entrepreneurs who get a lot of noes is getting curious about what you make it mean about you? Like, what is that like, for you, when you're first getting those noes. Like, what do you make it mean about you? Do you make it mean that there's something that you're not talented enough? Does it mean that there's something about who you were? And then also, the idea like what your husband, it's just a numbers game. And when you get out of the scarcity mindset, and into the abundance mindset, which these are overused, jargony stuff. But it's true, like there's more people that I'm the perfect coach for them can ever hire me, it's like, there's (Lesley: Right) more people that could ... They just don't know who I am. And that's it. So (Lesley: Yeah) there's a way to and there's a, there's a coach out there, she has something that I like to quote her name's "Stacy Boehm." And she's a coach for, she's this coach for selling life coaching. And her her target demographic is females. She has this one thing that she says it really stuck with me. She said, "What would you do if you knew your ideal clients were looking for you?" Like, what would you do today? What would you do tomorrow? Like, what's the thing that you would do? Because like, what we all do is we're like, "Oh, there's nobody out there. Nobody's interested." But like, if I knew that you wanted to hire me, when you just didn't know me, what would I actually do and what I post on social media. Would I pay for ads? Would I do search engine, would I go to a networking event, and like that's the thing that I would say like, "Hey, what would you do?" Because the truth is, there are people out there for everybody. And I really do believe that.

Lesley Logan 16:56  

That's so good. I love that so much.

Jason Frazell 16:58  

It's Stacy's, I wish, I wish I could take it. It's Stacy. But ...

Lesley Logan 17:01  

I know. Well, Stacy, thanks so much. (Jason laughs) We're all gonna live by that because, like, even inside like, I it's almost like, I wish I had heard that, even though I believe that they're like, you're on the right ... person for the right people. And that it's okay, if you don't like what I'm offering, because there are more people just even hearing that would change how I would like change them in the thoughts I have posting on when there's a sale or when there's a launch? (Jason: No) Because it's, it's like, what if people were looking there are actually Googling and you need to come up? And like, how would you do that? And you'd be less scared, "Oh, it's like, that's way better than leap and the net will appear." (Jason and Lesley laughs) Right? That's so good. (Jason: Yeah) Um, yeah, I do think like, fear rejection is real. And it keeps people (Jason: Sure) from doing. So, okay, you mentioned earlier and maybe this is too personal, you know, let me know, but like, you have two kids ...

Jason Frazell 17:52  

Nothing's too personal. I'm here.

Lesley Logan 17:53  

Yeah. You have two kids, you're married, you know, like, and you wanted to switch careers? How hard like, what did you, how, what, what, why did you go? How could you do that? How did you do that? And also, like, was it scary because I do think, you know, when for people might not know, in 2019, Brad sold his companies and came full fully on board with my businesses, which is so exciting. And then three months later, we had COVID happen. And I was like, "Oh, well, okay, this is, this ship is only sailing with, with this is all I got. So here we go." (Jason: Yeah) Like, what was it like for you with kids and spouse? Like, was it easy (Jason: Yeah) to make that transition or was it hard?

Jason Frazell 18:29  

Well, I'm very fortunate that my wife is amazing. And so it could have been a lot harder if it wasn't for the fact that I told her what I saw and what I believed was possible. And she was on board with me. My wife has more of a vision and goals and person than I am. I'm more of a pragmatic, practical as a good. This is one of the Midwestern comes and I'm like ... "What's practical about all this?" She's more like, "Hey, well, what, what do you think would make you happy? What do you believe? What does your intuition tell you?" And, you know, I have been fortunate I had a good career before that. So it wasn't like, I was living paycheck to paycheck at that point. So it was, you know, it was, it was a conscious family decision. (Lesley: Yeah) And but yeah, I'm fortunate to have an amazing partner that supported me in that because I was, you know, if the tables were turned, I don't know that I would have had the same response be like, "Well, what do you mean? Go back, get another job. Making what you're making. We got to keep this money flowing in." So yeah, (Lesley: Yeah) but the truth is, it's all it's all about a powerful conversation, my wife and just getting aligned on what this is, what I'm going to do and why. And it also helped that when I decided to do this, I had already started the business. So it was a side hustle that went full time quite quickly. But I had a, I had a few proof points. It's not like one day I'm like, "I'm out of here. I don't know what I'm going to do." (Lesley: Right) I was already, I was already turning out a couple clients and it certainly wasn't enough to pay the bills. But I was I was on the path already. (Lesley: Yeah.) Which (Lesley: That's ...) that's what, that's one thing I would say to to everyone listening is, "You don't have to just quit full boat and go full into it immediately." A lot of people that I coached that like are that working like places like Facebook, and they want to do a side hustle, they do them both. (Lesley: Yeah) Then at some point, your business becomes big enough where you do need to go out and do it yourself. I do believe at some point, you have to work only in your business. But there's no shame in like doing the side hustle stuff, you know, like, there seems to be this culture. Like, "if you're really committed, you'll just do it." I'm like, that's not realistic for a lot of people.

Lesley Logan 20:25  

It's, thank you for saying that. I think it's 100% true. I mean, I, I, I think it's easy for people looking outside, they might see that somebody went from Facebook to this company, and they're like, "Whoa, how" but really, most people are, if they are transitioning from one thing to the other, there was a time where they're doing two things. And like, that's (Jason: Yeah) how, that's how all of my businesses were. You know, I was, I was running studios, as I was renting space far enough away, that it was allowed, but also like building my own business. And (Jason: Yeah) then, and then I figured out how many clients I had to have to make the switch. And then we made that leap. And that was sitting down and like being really conscious about like, "How many pe... people is that so I could make that switch?" And it's difficult, and we didn't have kids. So it was a lot easier, I could overwork a little bit for a short period of time to make that happen. And then when I want to transition again, you know, we did the the bridge again, and the only (Jason: Yeah) time it was like, rip... let the boat you know, burn the boats or whatever was because of COVID. (Lesley and Jason laughs) It was like "Oh, (Jason: Yeah) well, we're we're gonna have to close that studio. And this and this, because it's not reopening anytime soon." (Lesley laughs)

Jason Frazell 21:38  

No. State mandated

Lesley Logan 21:40  

Yeah. (Jason: closing) Yeah, I know. I think it's I mean, and if you're listening to this I lived in California, so the gyms would didn't open for 13 months. So it was (Jason: Right) you know I was just like, "This is not ... I could see the writing on the wall. Like they're, they're not reopening me any anytime soon." So, so I think thank you for sharing that because I do believe a lot of people think I have to have it all together. And I have to go all in. And it's like, I just believe that there's like ... there's a trial period as a trying something on, there's like, figuring it out and like and then knowing that you have a little bit and then you have to get uncomfortable. So can we talk about that, like, there (Jason: Yeah) Is it still uncomfortable in your business? Or now your three and a half years in like it feels a little less uncomfortable? Like, what was that like going you know, that getting comfortable with uncomfortability?

Jason Frazell 22:23  

Yeah, so it's, it's still uncomfortable because I'm still, my business is morphing is the word I'll use, or it's becoming more aligned to what I actually want to do all day, every day. It's kind of like, I don't know, it's kind of even like my podcast. I'm at almost 100 episodes. It's a little different than it was 100 episodes ago. That (Lesley: Yeah) so that is, to me, that's a fun, uncomfortable. I actually I'm actually one of those people. I kind of like being uncomfortable. (Lesley: Yeah) So it's fun to because for me uncomfortable means that I'm a little bit in the unknown, which means there's something super creative and innovative, which is like where I do my best work. (Lesley: Yeah) But yeah, after spending 20 years with a paycheck every two weeks, and a bunch of operational people and benefits and stock options and 401k's and all that. And then to suddenly be like, "Oh, wait, if I want to make any money and be successful, it's on me today." Like, (Lesley: Yeah) that's still uncomfortable. I'm still getting use to that I'm, we call that like, I call that a corporate context. I'm still breaking it up. (Lesley: Yeah) But there's days where I'm like, "Man, I just wish I'd have somebody that would just tell me what to do today. Or like, send me 20 clients." And I'm like, "No." So the uncomfortable part is. And the exciting part is what's next, who's my next client? So for me, like, I don't know who my next client might be. (Lesley: Right) I might get somebody to hit my website today, which might be the client that hires me at my highest rate, which refers me 10 clients, which creates the business of my dreams, or that might not happen for a year and that that's the uncomfortable thing. Because my automatic place that I like to go is I like to know. How's it gonna go because I was in sales. So your husband probably like sales is all about predictability. (Lesley: Right) Oh, like, "Hey, quarter after quarter, how am I gonna build this pipeline," and I just don't, it's just not a thing in this in my business. So that part is uncomfortable for me.

Lesley Logan 24:12  

Well, and also I'm reading Joe Dispenza's book. (Who knows what it's called, actually, I'm sorry, I'm obviously not reading it. It's on Audible. So, I just hit play.) Anyways, it's about getting out of your own way. Someone will tell (Jason: Yeah) me on Instagram and go, "Shame on you for not knowing he's brilliant." He is brilliant. It's amazing. But he talks about like how we all want cause and effect. We're all living ... in this like Newtonian thing, which is like, (Jason: Oh, yeah) this happens and this happens. But when we start to actually understand that we are causing an effect that is like, it's like you're unstoppable. It's this crazy thing. And and it's true because I, because I was in corporate, I was in fitness corporate, which is nice. (Jason: Yeah) Like they put budgets out. (Jason: Yeah, like ...) I meet them, you know, and like I lead a team and either way I had vacations and 401k's and amazing health insurance that I don't have any more, I have something (Lesley laughs) that they (Jason: Yeah) that they let self employed person by. But there that is all, that that is there is something like that, that and I, on a bad day I'll go, "Gosh, you know, what am I doing?" And then I'll go and then I can look back at like the promotions I didn't take and I can look to the friends that are still there and I can go, "You know that I'm not that person." And (Jason: Yeah) that's I think, to to to go back would be denying that I'm like, I am someone who has to keep creating and I have to as much as I hated I I clearly love being in the unknown because I spent so much time there. (Lesley laughs)

Jason Frazell 25:40  

Yeah. Well just ... Yeah, I heard just a quick anecdote on this. I don't know if you saw what happened to Peloton last week, but they (Lesley: Tell me) well, Peloton had was one of the best performing stocks in during you know, kind of the height of COVID. They released their quarterly earnings last week, they were not good. Their stock dropped 35%. And they went on a hiring freeze, I saw as of today. (Lesley: Wow) So, so like, and I say this to people that are in corporate that, that it's it might be more secure, but it's not that much more secure, you're still at the whim and mercy of of you know, one bad quarter and they dropped 35% and all those, I'm assuming all those employees hold stock options. There goes 30, you know, 35% of your wealth and stock options down.

Lesley Logan 26:23  

Well 100 ... look that's it, you're either like you and I we work for ourselves. So like, I am at the mercy of making sure my messaging is good enough that people buy it. But those corporations are at the mercy of those investors and those stockholders (Jason: Yeah) and people. And so like, wherever, however you slice it, there are people you answer to and there is difficulties and there's scary times but like I think, you know, if you were to look back, I don't know I don't answer for you. But I have I when I look back, I I would be struggling right now to work for someone doing something and not doing what I'm doing right now. Because what I'm doing right now is like literally what's inside of me what like comes to my mind, what keeps me up at night. What me... and I can take action on that. I'm actually I feel like I'm fulfilling my purpose. And I think (Jason: Yeah) that that's what it is. So I don't know, I think it's hard to be uncomfortable. But I don't know that (Jason: Yeah) it was much more comfortable on the other side. It was just like there's a paycheck. (Lesley laughs)

Jason Frazell 27:20  

Yeah, yeah. Right. But I mean, you know, as a salesperson, I'm it sounds like all the things you're doing. There's a lot of uncomfortable meetings you go to ,where you tell your boss, "Oh, we're breaking into this million dollar deal." And then the customers like, "Yeah, we're not doing it." Then you have to have a ... that's not comfortable either.

Lesley Logan 27:35  

Right, right. I think we're just ... Well, I think the grass looks greener on the other side. And we think that it's all there. But the reality is, is that like, you know, putting one foot step in front of the other without knowing what it's going to be is like the way you get anywhere, you know. So ...

Jason Frazell 27:49  

I'm with you and I, you and I are on the same page for sure, Lesley.

Lesley Logan 27:52  

Alright, Jason, how do people get to know you? Get to work with you? Find out how to get leadership coaching with you because it sounds like you're doing some really cool stuff with all (Jason: Yeah) these companies.

Jason Frazell 28:00  

Yeah, thanks so much, Lesley. Yeah, best place to start is just my website. It's just my name. So, it's Jason Frazell f r a z e l l.com. And from there, you can also connect with me on Instagram, on Facebook, on LinkedIn. And I do want to put in a plug that I mentioned earlier, I'm a podcaster as well. And if anybody here is listening who is interested in coming on my podcast next year, it's "Called Talking to Cool People". And check it out. It was actually, it's a, we'll talk about on my podcast how the name came about it was pretty funny. And so you can connect with me there and listen to some of my episodes, I talk to all sorts of interesting people from let's, very diverse set of individuals that I've talked to over the last couple years. So yeah, connect me on all the social. I'm the only person on social with my name, I believe (Lesley: That's amazing) it's a pretty unique name. It's a pretty unique name. Yeah. And, and then my website and I look forward to hearing from you and connecting with you. And so you know, I can support everybody out there.

Lesley Logan 28:52  

Yeah, well, our listeners will be very excited. Y'all, he does talk to cool people. He interviewed Benjamin Degenhardt. (Jason: I did) And our listeners are many of them are big fans of his. So, y'all can go. 

Jason Frazell 29:03  

I know Benjamin. So yes, that's awesome. (Lesley: That's so crazy) It such a small world.

Lesley Logan 29:08  

It's so small. He's, he's amazing. I, we used to pre COVID run into each other all over the world, because of pilates. (Jason: I can imagine) So like (Jason: I can imagine) would be at the same event and it's like, I would never see him in our home cities, but we'd see each other and other people's cities which are just so fun. Okay, so I asked everyone bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps to prioritizing yourself. How do you be it till you see it? What do you what tips do you got for us?

Jason Frazell 29:33  

Yeah, be it till you see it. So first things first, this is very tactical, for those who are ... And I think this applies to sales people working for others. This applies to entrepreneurs, put in your calendar, block out your calendar, like you had customers there, or you had clients there. So for new salespeople, I coach a lot of salespeople. When you start out there's like, "Oh my gosh, there's a lot of things to learn to do," like block out your calendar like you had that appointments already, and then use that time to prospect, use that time to get, as your husband, Brad said, use that time to get some noes and hopefully some yeses. (Lesley: Yeah) If for an entrepreneur like you're, I know like let's say you're a new personal trainer, and you've got three clients and you've got, you know, 20 hours of your week, not ready, book it up, and then figure out what you're going to use that time for to either improve yourself, go find clients. So, I think there's some energy that gets put out when you do that. There's some things that like, that's like a, I'm not gonna say manifesting, but you're actually telling, actually telling the universe or spirit or God or whatever you believe, "Hey, there's some stuff that I'm going to be doing here." And it also trains you to get used to what that schedule is going to be like. So (Lesley: Yeah) for example, some coaches like, "I want 30 clients a week." And I'm like, "Do you?" (Jason laughs)

Lesley Logan 30:42  

I know, I get that a lot when we coach Pilates instructors and they're like, "I think I want to teach 30 hours a week." And I'm like, "You do? You wanna (Jason: You're like ...) teach 30 hours a week?"

Jason Frazell 30:49  

... You're like, "Have you ever taught 30 hours a week?" And they're like, "Nope ... I could tell."

Lesley Logan 30:53  

Yeah. (Jason: So ...) Let me just tell you, you don't, that's a lot of human being.

Jason Frazell 30:56  

It's a lot of human beings that it's like, you won't get to eat probably. (Lesley: Yeah) Um, so that's first thing. The second thing is, and I think it was President Obama who once said, this is I think he said this in one of his books. And if I misquote it (Lesley: It's alright). Okay, (Lesley: Their already coming for me and Joe) I think he said. (Lesley laughs) Yeah, it's it, you know, like, yeah, exactly. He said, like, "Act as if." I think it was him. It's one of the things because people were I think, if I'm not mistaken, somebody asked him when he was a junior senator in Illinois, "How did you ascend to become the president?" is like, almost unheard of in that way. He's like, "I just had to go into rooms and act as if. Act as if I was the President. Act as if, as if I was a senior member of the Senate. Act as if I belonged in the room." So when I say that, I don't mean it from like, an imposters way or like, trying to, you know, alpha it or become the dominant person. It's like, just go into like, act like you own it. (Lesley: Yeah) Because most the secret that I love to say and I don't know if you feel this way, but I really do as most people don't know what they're talking about or doing most of the time anyway. (Lesley: No) Like, they have their they have they have training, you know, like all these all these experts and gurus out there and I'm like, "These people don't know anything more than you and I do, they just have good shiny sales and marketing." And yeah, if you just like ...

Lesley Logan 32:14  

100% correct on that. I rem...

Jason Frazell 32:16  

I mean in the fitness industry is full of people like this, right?

Lesley Logan 32:18  

Oh, 100... I'll be in the rooms. And I'll be like, "Oh, my God ..." And I hear like, "I have, I've been trained by people vigorously." (Jason: Right) Like I haven't like, oh, it's just that they acted as if, they put themselves out there, they took the risk. So you know, I mean, like, I think we tend to put people on pedestals who are actually our equals. And if you met them and actually talk to them, they would see you as an equal as well. Like ...(Jason: They would) were (Jason: Yeah) putting them up there when they're like, "Hey, I'm just right over here with you."

Jason Frazell 32:18  

Yeah, I'm just right over here with you. And I just but the thing I think that, that a lot of those people do. And you know, some of I do think there's some snake oil stuff out there. (Lesley: Oh yeah) There's a lot of good people who are have this kind of, you know, like same place. What they are willing to do though is get uncomfortable. And share themselves in this kind of like, they're willing to show up. (Lesley: Yeah) Even when, even when they're not ready. And I think that's one of the things that holds back a lot of people, especially in entrepreneurial space. Especially personal brand space is being willing to show up and speak your truth and let the world know who you are without it having to be perfect. Because to me, there's no such thing as perfect.

Lesley Logan 33:20  

Yep. ... I mean, that's a mantra around here, "Perfect is boring. Do it messy." ...

Jason Frazell 33:27  

Yeah, that's a that's a mantra at Brand Builders, too, is like we're not gonna do it perfectly, but like we're gonna do it. We're gonna get out there. We're gonna do it.

Lesley Logan 33:33  

Yeah, well, cuz I'm one of my favorite people on this planet, Jill Coleman says, "Perfect is the like the thing keeping you from being consistent." (Jason: Totally) You know, and so and honestly, most of the people doing things that you're like, "Gosh, someday when I'm ready." They weren't ready. They weren't perfect. They just were consistently showing up. And so yeah. Well, Jason, thank you for being here. Thanks for being on the Be It Till You See It podcast. I can't wait to be on Talking To Cool People. Oooh (Jason: Yeah) (Lesley laughs)

Jason Frazell 34:03  

Yes. Lesley, thanks, thank you so much for having me. It's a delight to be here with everybody.

Lesley Logan 34:07  

Oh, you're amazing. This is a great conversation. And everyone please screenshot this tag @jasonfrazell, tag @be_it_pod. Let us know your takeaways. Let us know how you're going to act as if and how you're going to use these BE IT tips. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

'Be It Till You See It' is the production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell 34:55  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 35:02  

Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell 35:08  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 35:17  

Special thanks to our designer Jirah Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell 35:28  

And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

A conversation that is zippy, energetic, and fancy… Or maybe it was exuberant, productive, and joyful? Listen to LL and Brad to find out how you shift your paradigm to design positive experiences for yourself and have some fun choosing your daily adjectives. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Future pilates tours/retreat plans 
• Giving yourself permission to design the experience you enjoy
• Intentionally sculpting your routines
• Shifting your paradigm
• Choosing your three adjectives for your day 

Episode References/Links:

• The G+A Course

Free Webinar

Online Pilates Classes Retreats

OPC Flashcards

• OPC Flashcards are on Amazon
• OPC Flashcards are on our site

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:01  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the transformative convo I have with Mallory Gott in our last episode. (Brad: Yeah, we are.) If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now. Go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. I mean, you know after you, if you ... if you did listen to Mallory, you get to do things based on how you feel. So, whatever you're feeling say, you get to create that, that journey. So ... (Brad: That's true.) I freakin' love her. I'm so, so glad that we get to know her and have mutual friends and we even get to spend the holidays with her briefly. I got to see a clip of Die Hard which made me go, "Maybe I should watch Die Hard." (Brad laughs) So anyways, um, uh, y'all, I had a birthday.

Brad Crowell 1:28  

Yeah, happy birthday!

Lesley Logan 1:30  

Mm-hmm. And usually I do a big, choose your own adventure birthday party, but since the pandemic, I pretty much stopped doing that. In fact, this year, I told Brad, he "I want to have a birthday. I want to get overdressed. You have to plan it." So (Brad laughs) anyways, he did and since we record this early, I did have a birthday. I have not experienced it yet. So full disclosure, I don't what we did.

Brad Crowell 1:51  

And "Brad planned it" in the future past tense that (Lesley: Yeah) (Lesley laughs) this has been recorded. (Lesley: But ...) Brad's swears, Brad planned it.

Lesley Logan 1:58  

Yeah ... I this is like like, just subliminal, like just "Brad's planning it. Brad, Brad's planning. Brad's planned it." (Brad and Lesley laughs) (Brad: We're almost done) Talk about Be It Till You See It, I'm just making birthday happen without me planning it. And also super fun. The scheduling tool that we partnered with Pocket Suite is officially out. So the Profitable Pilates edition is out.

Brad Crowell 2:19  

So fired up. Yes, (Lesley: Oh my God) this is amazing. (Lesley: this is amazing) If you are a business owner of any kind that has to deal with clients, and you have to send invoices or schedule, you know, dog walks, it doesn't matter, you can use this tool to do it. Obviously, we've geared it towards Pilates people because that's who we that's, that's mostly our (Lesley: ... Yeah) history here. But it's it's really a flexible tool and is ... it is amazing.

Lesley Logan 2:48  

All of my coaching advice on there can be, can be geared towards any service based business. So enjoy, super fun. And we we I my favorite webinar to teach is on scheduling, like, how to schedule your life and have ... it's not air quotes, balanced, hard word for me because, you know, there are different seasons to your business, if it for honest, but a lot of people like to know how I get things done. So, I scheduled or schedule, I created a workshop free webinar on how to schedule your life with all your priorities in it. And it also talks about this amazing scheduling tool, and that webinar is free. And you can watch the replay.

Brad Crowell 3:25  

Yeah, the replay will be available for you. You can just go to profitablepilates.com/... Let's make one up here, profitablepilates.com/ (Lesley: gemstones) Yeah, gemstones it is. (Lesley: Yeah) So that's weird. If you don't know what that's referring to, you're gonna have to watch the replay.

Lesley Logan 3:50  

Clearly haven't watched the webinar. (Brad laughs) So, I'm all about, I'm all about gemstones.

Brad Crowell 3:54  

That link will be in the show notes. (Lesley: Yeah) And the ...

Lesley Logan 3:59  

But it is a free, it's a free webinar that I, I will teach you these things and people love that. It's like a dream schedule webinar. And then at the end, we go over the free tool, so you can get both.

Brad Crowell 4:10  

Yeah, so if you've ever heard me jokingly refer to a Swiss cheese schedule. That that this webinar will help you resolve clients that are booking at nine in the morning or nine at night. Or you know, "Oh the only time I could take them is 6pm on a Sunday when it's my day off," you know, so you'll you this is a ...

Lesley Logan 4:34  

For my vegans listening a Swiss cheese schedule is a block with holes in it. (Brad laughs) So block of time and there is a hole in it.

Brad Crowell 4:41  

Imagine your calendar is the (Lesley: Yeah) Swiss, the Swiss cheese ...

Lesley Logan 4:44  

Yeah, yeah. And that's that's really annoying because like I had a Swiss cheese kind of morning this morning and I was like not enough time to start anything. (Brad: Right) It wasn't enough time to do anything and I wasn't hungry yet. So like this ... "What am I doing?" (Brad laughs) I'm gonna go look at the cactus. (Brad: why is there cheese?) Anyways, so profitablepilates/gemstones. You heard that here. Okay, so last friggin' thing I'm excited about, (Brad: Coming up) you're hearing about a lot because I'm I'm gonna shout from the rooftops until this happens and here's why. Too many people either are afraid to start Pilates because it's weird and they think it's weird and they're new. They don't want to do it wrong, or you've been doing Pilates but you just don't get it. And I'm on a mission "More bodies doing Pilates." So the full body in 15 is a week long program, where I'm going to teach you how to do a full body Pilates workout in 15 minutes. You can pair it with any of your other workouts you already do and enjoy or go to onlinepilatesclasses.com/fullbodyin15.

Brad Crowell 4:44  

Yeah, and that is kicking off on the 20th of Feb. (Lesley: Yes. Oh my gosh) So, join us. There's gonna be some live, some replays all the things but yeah (Lesley: Yeah) coming up.

Lesley Logan 5:47  

Okay, what is the audience question love?

Brad Crowell 5:49  

Okay, great question. Obviously, something that we love, and we're very passionate about. Question was when are we going back on tour? (Lesley: I know. Um ...) That is a good question. (Lesley: Great question. So that's ...) To which we we know we have at least one answer, (Lesley: Do you remember ...) which would be ...

Lesley Logan 6:07  

on sitcoms when they put the TO BE CONTINUED at the bottom. ( Lesley and Brad: da da da da) Here's what I do know. We are ... (Brad: To be continued) we are going to be heading out on an awesome little adventure in the summertime to go when I'm teaching at Momentum Fest. (Brad: Yeah, yeah) So we will be heading up at least Colorado. And we have not decided if we're adding on to that because June is actually a very busy month. (Brad: Yeah. It's kind of, we got a bunch of things going on.) It's like three trips in four, I don't even understand. So, I don't know if we'll be able to add anything to that. So just definitely come to Momentum Fest. We will for sure do one in the winter, as far as the cities that we're going to do. You know, shoot your city out. I know for sure we're gonna go to Rhode Island because we promised them that last year, so we ...

Brad Crowell 6:51  

I'm I'm trying to get us back to Fort Wayne, Indiana during the summer. (Lesley: What? Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah) So that we, we can do a sweet water appearance as (Lesley: He's trying really hard) that would put us, that would put us coincidentally near Chicago, potentially. So ...

Lesley Logan 7:10  

Well, I rather do Chicago in the summer than in the winter. Um, so no offense my Chicagoans. If that's the word. It's so freakin' cold. (Brad: I think it's a word) It's just too many cold cities on the winter tour. I really like the Southern part of our tour because it's hot, hot, hot. So (Lesley laughs) But anyways, for sure winter, we do want here's in the dream world, we would do a West Coast tour, and then some sort of Summer Tour somewhere. And to get the Upper Midwest, we've been promising them (Brad: Maybe even up into Canada.) Yeah and to Canada, and then the the winter tour. However, I'm really holding out for retreat. And so I ... (Brad: Oh we are), I have a hard time planning a tour until I can get my retreats back up. So just stay tuned. And you know, we can make the winter tour as long as we need. So just throw us your city out there.

Brad Crowell 7:59  

In fact, fingers crossed that I can get back to Cambodia here in March into April to prep the retreat space (Lesley: Mm-hmm) because if all does go well, we hope to have a retreat in the fall (Lesley: the fall) into potentially into the winner of this year. (Lesley: Yeah. So ...) So if you have if you've ever thought about Cambodia, you can go to onlinepilatesclasses.com/retreats. Almost positive that's the link ...(Lesley: You just go to onlinepilatesclasses.com) We'll put the link to get on the waitlist (Lesley: and you can see ...) or retreats in the show notes.

Lesley Logan 8:34  

All the things that are Pilates. You can't see anything that's business you got to go to profitablepilates.com for that. But anyways, I love this question. Thank you for asking it. You know, there's only so many days in the year and I'm we are really trying to make sure that we hold space for a potential retreat before we put anything on the books because I really am after two years of all this. I don't want to cancel anything anymore. So (Brad: Yeah, I'm over ...) I'm over the emails for that and so far 2022 has been canceled free. I'm trying to keep it that way. (Lesley laughs) (Brad: Yeah) Okay. Let's talk about Mal.

Brad Crowell 9:06  

Yeah. Okay, so exciting. Let's talk about Mallory Gott. Mallory Gott or Mal is the founder and creator, creative director of G+A, guiding clients through experimental design. She helps give people the opportunity to change the experiences they're having by redesigning based on feeling (Lesley: feeling) which I find really interesting. She is against cutting veggies. She's a lover of Mad Libs and is a fellow Vesta coffee roaster, lover because she's here in Vegas.

Lesley Logan 9:47  

Yeah, I know. We got to talk about that. If you didn't listen to the last episode. The end is really fun. (Brad: She gave Jared a shout out.) I know, Jared our neighbor. (Brad: Yeah) Yeah. We're actually drinking your coffee right now. (Brad: It's true.) (Brad laughs) Okay. So, in fact I ordered, posted mates yesterday, just so I could have the coffee beans delivered and it was glorious. And I was like, "Gosh, this is the life." Okay, so one of the things I love that she talked about was giving yourself permission to design an experience you enjoy. And I, I think, first of all, she literally embodies Being It Till You See It. This is how she trains every one of her clients like everything they do, they're being the thing that they want to see at the end of whatever the project is. And so that's actually what caught my eye towards her and in her be on this podcast. But we always talk about like, other people have said, "Give yourself permission. Give yourself permission." Thor talked about gotta give yourself permission slip, but this (Brad: Right) is like, I think we get caught up on like some... if something is hard work that it's going to be hard to do. And we like can put, we can put feelings toward something and then the experience and what you think about it, it changes you and how you want to show up there. So she's like, give yourself an experience to design a community you enjoy. So what would make the thing you're doing more enjoyable? And how can you do that for me in the morning, like, I like to put all of our what do you call them. 

Brad Crowell 11:11  

You're really good at this by the way. Like I know that you you like intentionally sculpt your morning in a way that allows you to be set up for the day. (Lesley: Mm-hmm)

Lesley Logan 11:23  

(Brad: And I am ... ) Tell me more about myself. (Brad: Yeah) (Lesley laughs, no). 

Brad Crowell 11:27  

I admire that because that's the opposite of how I do my day.

Lesley Logan 11:31  

I know, I walked in the house and I was like, "Oh, he hasn't event poured coffee yet. Oh, the dog hasn't had breakfast. But did he just get up? What's going on here?"

Brad Crowell 11:37  

No I'd been up for awhile (Lesley: Yeah) just my morning changed completely.

Lesley Logan 11:41  

So I do, I do wake up early in the morning because I want I'm very intentional about the how that and that is a permission that I gave myself. I gave myself more permission of space and have a morning that doesn't have stress, or I don't like to be rushed in the morning. It really makes me anxious. That feels like the day is going to be anxious. So I give myself permission to have lots of space, which does require some planning. But one of the other things I really have been doing is like getting the was like some sort of like luxury or I don't know what I was thinking. But I actually stayed at Allison's house. And she would like do her little oil infuser. Right? And every like it would turn off and she put oil on because I'm like, "Oh, this smells so good." And so I literally gave myself permission to every morning put all the oil infusers on the house and now we've got three that are just going and then I have another one on the other... And I love it because the whole house smells fresh. And it smells like the way I like it. Brad doesn't always like it but I like it.

Brad Crowell 12:38  

It's actually really pleasant for me and it's definitely it's a positive experience. I also am amazed that you find the time to set those up everyday. (Lesley: Okay, so here so ...) Like we make the time to make the coffee because we go, "I need the coffee."

Lesley Logan 12:56  

You all. You want (Brad: What?) to hear how this is working out for me. Okay, this is all uh, this is all routines and habits you have to get really good at but obviously celebrate you can take my habits webinar on that however, here's the deal. I have a routine we come in from the dog walk, run, whatever it is. And while the hot water is heating for the coffee, (Brad: hmm) I feed the boys some... sometimes there's one or the other ones bowl just sits there. Then after I do that they're not staring at me anymore. Then I have the water pitcher that I take to the three diffusers with the oils are already next, they are already set up, they're already there. Okay, and then the hot water is done and I make the coffee and then I do my next thing which is usually either Pilates or my peloton or something else that is like breath work. For me still because that coffee takes 10 to 15 minutes do its thing. So it's not ready yet so I just do something else for myself and then that's that's how I find the time, you can't watch water boil. They literally say that. Anyway. 

Brad Crowell 13:57  

It's like paint drying. (Lesley: Yeah. So ...) Or it's like cactus is growing.

Lesley Logan 14:02  

But I also just like once I saw someone do it and sometimes it takes you seeing other people do it so do search for evidence for the permission you wish to give yourself but once I saw someone doing it looked like it didn't, it took her 13 seconds and I was like, "Oh I really want to have an enjoyable morning." Like the morning to me sets up the whole workday and well that way when I walk out the office and into the kitchen the house smells like it's been lived and cared for and I want the house to smell like that because I want the experience I have each day to be like I'm not doing this just to like slave at my desk all day. I'm doing this because I want to I get to live in this enjoyable place. So anyways permission granted ...

Brad Crowell 14:38  

Well this this rolls right into the thing that I really loved which was shifting your paradigm. Like how you see the things that you have to do. And because giv... so giving yourself permission first off, what you did was almost the BE IT action item. What (Lesley: Yeah) you're talking about here with the with the changing your environment, you're literally putting on a thing that is, it's like, it's like putting the the crystal with $100 bill in your drawer, (Lesley: Yeah) where where you open it and you go, "Oh, yeah, right, I'm going to focus on that today." Changing the, this the the olfactory, you know, scent of our kitchen, when I walk in in the morning, I'm like, "Oh, I like being in here." Right? And that is a very simple action item thing to do. But the permission part of it is, I think it's funny, because we get so sucked into the hard thing that we forget to be objective about it and go, "Hey, I know this is hard but does it have to feel hard?" (Lesley: Right) You know, maybe it doesn't have to feel this hard. And, and so that's the per... you have the you can give yourself the permission to look at it in a different way. But that's tied into the shifting of the paradigm, right? (Lesley: Mm-hmm) My mom used to say, "Have to do before want to do. Have to do before want to do." Right? I mean, it was like, I don't know, she must have said it to me a hundred ... a hundred times, a thousand times growing up, I think, I mean, I heard that for... forever for my entire elementary school, middle school, probably even in the high school. In high school, she kind of shifted to "You're putting too much in one day. You're putting too much in one day." (Brad laughs)

Lesley Logan 14:58  

Brad put too much in one day? (Brad: No) Never (Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 16:27  

But you know that, you know, then then it was like, "Oh, I gotta do my chores around the house before I can go out to play" (Cries) and I would be angry about it. Right? And I think that there's this shifting of the paradigm and what Mallory was talking about, which I thought was really cool is, what if instead of it being like, "Damn it, I have to vacuum the stairs before I can go run around," got shifted to "I get to go run around after I vacuum the stairs." (Lesley: Right) And that I think is really shifting the paradigm. It's just again, like looking at it from the other side of the coin, as it were, you know, where you get to, to you still have to do thing. (Lesley: Yeah) But now instead of it being this really frustrating, angry experience. It's, you know, you're you're dwelling on the the thing that you actually want to be doing anyway. And this you just got to do this so that you can go do that. (Dog barks)

Lesley Logan 17:29  

Yeah, I um. I think, you know, I love that, that you grew up with that. I think there's also like, it's if you only hear people in your life complaining, it becomes a it does feel a little hard to be the positive polly around. (Brad: positive polly) (Brad laughs) One of our guests, he's coming up next week, he said, "You two must annoy the hell out of people. You're like so positive." (Brad laughs) And I was like, "Do you think we do?" And I do, I think people get because like we when bad things happen. People want to like roll on the ground with us. And we're like, "It's fine" cause what are we to do. Everything happens for us. It's fine." Also, because suddenly we didn't like feel the crap. We just felt it and we moved on. We're like, "How do we do this?" And so I do think it's that the if you can make your shift in the paradigm your superpower. You can change your course quickly. And like the life you want to have is going to happen so much faster. So

Brad Crowell 18:21  

Yeah, well, it sounds like Mallory is the queen of shifting your paradigm. (Lesley: She's so good) So, super cool.

Lesley Logan 18:27  

Yeah, she's so chill. Okay, BE IT action items, (Brad: Yeah) break it down because she had these like three that work together.

Brad Crowell 18:33  

Yeah. So what bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items that can you do, can we take away. Sorry, from your convo with Mallory Gott? Well, right out of the gate, she said, "Decide how you want to feel." (Lesley: Yeah) Right? And that I think is not the way that most people focus on the thing they have to (Lesley: no) do. Right? She says, "Choose how you want to feel around the thing that you want to do." Maybe you have to do but you can still you still control how you feel. And she said to pick three adjectives about your day like that you want to experience and then how can you apply those adjectives to the things that you have to do?

Lesley Logan 19:23  

Yeah, I think that is really, really fun. I'm just googling adjectives right now because (Brad laughs) if you're like me, and you're good memorizer to take the test and then you're like, (Brad: You have the descriptor.) ... Yes. So a word or phrase naming an attribute, added to or added to or grammatically related to a noun to modify or describe it. So you're the noun and and whatever you want to attribute to how you are in the moment of the thing. So that makes that makes me excited. You can actually Google like adjectives and like, there's like a bunch of sites that like 150 adjectives, you know, like you can pick them. So if you are like ...

Brad Crowell 20:01  

I also think that it doesn't necessarily need to be like, like exclusively an adjective you could pick joy. I don't think joy's an adjective. (Lesley: I know you but you could also though I want ...) I guess joyful would be an adjective.

Lesley Logan 20:13  

Yeah, yeah. So there's, there's I found a site that 150 of the most common. I'm going to be honest, this has a lot of like, depressing ones like mhmm, so I'll go through and highlight all the most positive or like look up positive adjectives. I should have done that. And then pick three and then do the thing that she just said, which is, it makes it makes me think of like Hilary Hartling, like ta-da list... (Brad: I was just thinking about that. Yeah) So like your take Mallory Gott's little situation here, little system, three adjectives. Take it to your to-do list, mad... inverted the Mad Libs rock on. Then you can get to go, "Tadaa." (Leslye laughs) So, I like this. I'm gonna, I'm gonna have a zippy afternoon with my meeting.

Brad Crowell 20:55  

A zippy? (Lesley: Mm-hmm) Okay. All right. Yeah, I'm gonna have a (Lesley: I'm gonna proudly do my calls.) Yeah, what are the three, what are your three adjectives for today?

Lesley Logan 21:05  

Mine? (Brad: Yeah) Oh, okay. So well, I thought I think proud is awesome. And that feels like, tall, energetic and fancy.

Brad Crowell 21:15  

Oh, fancy. (Lesley: Yeah) I love that. Okay, so (Lesley: Yeah. What are yours?) what are you, what do you have to do later today that you're going to make fancy?

Lesley Logan 21:22  

I have worked on those kind of like flashcards. (Brad laughs) So I'm going to proudly with, "What was my other one, proudly ..." (Brad: Ah um ...) Oh, my God, short term memory just blanked on me. Fancy and what? Here's what I'm just gonna new make one (Brad: Pick another one) Okay, when I do the fla... I'm going to do the flashcards ...

Brad Crowell 21:44  

You guys can hit rewind, and then tell (Lesley laughs) us what she said.

Lesley Logan 21:47  

What I say? I'm going to zealously.

Brad Crowell 21:50  

Zealously, you definitely didn't pick that one. But ...

Lesley Logan 21:53  

No, nope. Um, I am going to, I'm going to say, I'm proudly work on those cards, because I am so fucking proud of them. And I really do. Can't wait for you to have them. So I'm going to proudly work on those cards in and when I and then I'm going to sit there in a fancy outfit while I'm doing it.

Brad Crowell 22:07  

Yeah. And I think for me, I'm going to um... Let's see, exuberantly

Lesley Logan 22:17  

Oh, well, now you're just, now it's a spelling test. (Brad laughs)

Brad Crowell 22:22  

I'm going to exuberantly host a webinar, although there's nothing negative about hosting the webinar, because it's going to be with our friend Alex Street. It's gonna be so cool. (Lesley: I know) ... you gonna love it.

Lesley Logan 22:35  

 He's a past guest, you can listen to him. He's just so cool.

Brad Crowell 22:38  

And then productively get done a bunch of boring contract work (Lesley: I think ...) that I have to do that I'm not excited about. So, (Lesley: I think you have to remove those those adjectives) Yeah, exactly. We're gonna swap that out to that's the productive and exuberant and the last one is going to be ... I do like joyful and that ...

Lesley Logan 23:05  

You could joyfully work on these contracts. You can whistle while you work.

Brad Crowell 23:08  

With exuberance. Yes and (Lesley: Yeah, yeah) productiveness. 

Lesley Logan 23:11  

And then you're going to the gym with ... you're going to gleamly go to the gym (Brad: gleamly) I don't know. I'm just looking at another. (Brad and Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 23:20  

Alright. Somebody take away the synonyms or (Lesley: Okay) adjectives.

Lesley Logan 23:23  

Yeah. So fun. Okay, well, anyways, if you do this system, please let us know. Screenshot this episode, tag Mallory Gott, tag Be It Till You See It pod.

Brad Crowell 23:32  

Oh wait, sorry. She has a course. (Lesley: Oh, gosh. Okay) Yeah. So well, you know, what's your big takeaway, Lesley? (Brad laughs)

Lesley Logan 23:41  

I got really distracted with the adjectives and clearly we should be teaching you what she teaches. So because we're still working out the adjectives (Brad: Yeah) in our own lives. So take her course. She's got four parts to her course. We cover two in the interview. So

Brad Crowell 23:55  

Yeah, the first pillar was, if you're designing an event or an experience for people, you will want to consider how you want them to feel. Right? During the experience, which is something that you and I do all the time with the retreats. (Lesley: Yeah) You know, like, we've got people coming here in March to Las (Lesley: Yeah) Vegas for a fitness business retreat, we're (Lesley: Yeah) really focused on like, "What are they going to experience? What are they going to feel?" Loved that.

Lesley Logan 24:18  

We filter everything through how we want them to feel.

Brad Crowell 24:19  

That's the first part of it. The second part of it is going to be and this is something that I don't think about this, I never think about this. (Lesley: clearly we need to take this part) Yeah. How do I want to feel while designing their retreat experience? (Lesley: Yeah, yeah, we're gonna take this course.) And that was like, "Hmm. I didn't I never considered me I was just making it work, making it happen." Right? (Lesley: Yeah) So that's, that's pretty amazing. And then during the interview, I don't actually recall the third and fourth part of her program, so I would absolutely (Lesley: also) recommend checking out her course.

Lesley Logan 24:28  

Two more reasons why you should check out her course. So we'll have that linked below (Brad: Yeah, in the show notes.) She's amazing. We have to have her back. I don't know. I gotta have her do a presentation. This is so freakin' great. I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell 25:03  

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 25:04  

Thank you for joining us today. We're so grateful for you. Seriously so grateful. Otherwise we just be doing this for the ethers. And so thank you for listening. Thank you for downloading. Thank you for sharing. Screenshot this, tag Mallory, tag @be_it_pod with how you're using her BE IT action items and send us that we get a DM and we can like shout you out, we can celebrate you. It's super, super fun, and we'll catch you on the next episode.

Brad Crowell 25:25  

Until next time.

Lesley Logan 25:26  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it, help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day!

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell 26:01  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan 26:12  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell 26:16  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 26:25  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell 26:37  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

 Pre-cut or organic veggies? Redesigning experiences big and small, Mallory Gott joins the podcast today to share her framework for creating transformation and her twist on Mad Libs. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Redesigning around simple, easy and fun
• The four parts to the framework
• Shifting your paradigm
• Giving yourself permission to design a experience that you enjoy

Episode References/Links:

• G+A Experiences website
• LinkedIn

Guest Bio:

After years designing experiences of all kinds (events, conferences, trade shows, learning programs, pop-ups, training, and more) for some of the world’s most discerning audiences, Mallory Gott, founder + creative director of G+A, realized that her approach – identifying the feelings she wanted an experience to evoke and then reverse-engineering those feelings through intentional design of each facet of the experience – was anything but typical.

From her unorthodox style, The 4D Framework was born and Mallory began guiding clients through the experience design thinking process, salvaging events, products, and services that seemed beyond help.

By focusing on emotion and desire first, working solutions instead of solving problems, and emphasizing intuitively-based decision making over a data-or-die mentality, G+A quickly amassed a portfolio of experiential design success stories helping client after client rediscover their innate magic to fantastic results and resounding success!

OPC Flashcards:

• OPC Flashcards are on Amazon
• OPC Flashcards are on our site

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Be It listener this episode is all the things, it's just so great. So um, I, I'm really do, I'm, I'm constantly amazed by the people that I get to meet in this world and I hope that you, I hope that you get to have that experience in your life as well. And, and I will say like it is by putting yourself in really weird uncomfortable and blind date-ish experiences. But when you, when you do that, and you open yourself up to meeting new people and interesting people, it's really amazing what can happen. And this this woman, this guest is Mallory Gott and I just friggin' love her. I love what she's doing. It amazes me, her job sounds so freakin' fun. And also, the tips and advice she gives. Like, you know, she puts on these amazing experiences for even big companies and products. But she gave, she gave such great insight for like even redesigning your home, you know, and, and all the tips she gives like, can really change your day. I will be really honest, before we recorded this episode, I was just having a really raw rough long morning of meetings and meetings like that I was like, not excited. (Lesley laughs) And it's not because I don't love what I do but sometimes work just feels like work. And and after listening to her and her tips and her advice. It changed my mood, it changed my my spirit. And then I really did take her advice, her BE IT advice. Literally, I wrote some words down of how I want this week to feel and this day to feel. And I have changed my outlook on the whole thing and I think that's really powerful in being it till you see it in your life. Like there. We don't have to slog through things, we don't have to just get it done. We don't have to drag ourselves across the finish line, we can actually using adjectives and her tips. Absolutely change the way you are in that moment that you're in, including when you hear her talk about chopping vegetables. And so, I am so grateful for Mallory, I'm actually really grateful for our mutual friend Megan, who introduced us, because I got to have this experience in this conversation. But I am actually even more grateful for you because you listen to the show each and every week. And you tell your friends about it and you share it and you tell me your favorite parts. Because of you, I got to ask this amazing, incredible human being to be on this show. And so thank you, thank you for being you. And thank you for being part of this entire be it till you see it mission. If it wasn't for you, I would just be asking random people to be on Zoom calls with me and recording them and they might think that's weird. So, (Lesley laughs) so you're a big part of how this happened. So here is Mallory Gott.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast, where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

All right. I have Mallory Gott here. Ah, I'm so excited we're finally doing this. We had too much fun talking the night away because a mutual friend, Megan, who's going to be on the pod as well. And actually, she was the one who said, "You should be on my podcast." And and so I was like, "Let's meet up," and she planned this whole thing. And it's true. Like we were talking I was like, Oh my gosh, first of all, I love this woman. I can't, I want to be our friend all the time. (Mallory laughs) And, I feel like Las Vegas is a lot like LA, like, once you start working and traveling, even the locals aren't around as much. (Lesley laughs) So um, so we'll still have to make another date happen. But Mallory, I'm so glad you're here. You're out in the world doing your thing. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you do?

Mallory Gott 4:13  

Yeah, well, thank you very much for having me. And shout out to Megan, who apparently is going to be on podcast also for getting us together. I appreciate it. So my name is Mallory Gott, but I go by Mal because it's easier and it's more fun. And when you and I met I got to share a little bit with you. And we shared a lot about both of our kind of respective work areas but about my experiential design firm. So long story short, because we're going to get into long story long in the next little bit of time here (Lesley laughs) and I don't want to, you know, kind of kill the vibe right out of the gate. But in experiential design, where I started was really with event design and production. But slowly and then not slowly at all, it expanded into these other areas. And now experiential design has really taken the shape of a framework that I've built, that I use with a variety of clients, where we look at any experience you might have, whether it's on a team level, an individual level, a project level, and we design it with a feelings led approach. And we'll talk I'm sure about what that means. But it basically means we get to think about how somebody or a group of somebodies want an experience to feel. And then we help them design that experience and the process that they go through, building it out, to evoke those feelings as frequently as possible. So, it's pretty, pretty cool stuff.

Lesley Logan 5:28  

It is so cool. So so I, inquiring minds, mind want to know. Do do you just love how many different experiences you get to be part of because like, I feel like every day is, every every experience is gonna be different.

Mallory Gott 5:42  

They are, they're really, really different. And I do and you know, one of the things that I really love, and it's, it's a lot of fun for me, when I get to have conversations like this, and I don't just say that, like, you know, "Oh, it's a lot of fun to talk about it." But but it's a lot of fun, because it reminds me that I can design the experiences in my day to day life, using the same framework that I would share with anybody who said, we have this to redesign, right? Like we have like a restaurant brand to redesign which we've done, or we have, you know, a 7,500 person trade show that we're trying to redesign, which we're actively doing right now. Or an art gallery that needs to find more customers like these are all things we've done. And so you know, you and I were talking right before we officially clapped into the podcast, about the experience of traveling for work as beening one of the things that we're now ramping back up on. (Lesley: Yeah) And kind of we weren't specifically talking about the framework. But one of the things like the way that I try to design the experiences with my business or my day to day are around things being simple, easy and fun. That's the way I want stuff to feel. So, you know, we got to talk about like, well, what makes some of this travel simpler or easier or more fun. And I could go into a whole rabbit hole, we touched on a couple things. But like having this conversation, it is a great reminder. And it doesn't matter whether anyone that we work with is talking about, like I want to redesign, you know, the way that I experienced trying to find a life partner like dating, the dating experience, (Lesley laughs) or which you know, I've had people say like, "I hate trying to find, I hate trying to date like this experience sucks." And I'm like, "Great. So, I bet you don't want it to feel like it sucks, right? So like, let's put it through the framework." Or I've had people come in and say, you know, we need to redesign this brand rollout or this product launch. And and it doesn't matter what the experience is, it's the same, it's the same framework. (Lesley: Yeah) And it's cool to be able to see how it can be applied in so many different ways.

Lesley Logan 7:29  

That's really cool that you said that because I think we almost forget the experiences that we have. And we're like, for example, you have a friend is like, "Dating is not fun, this experience isn't fun." And she might not think that someone who also helps launch a product can go, "Well, here, let's actually put it through this framework. And let's make it more fun." But I think we forget that we have these tools at our disposal. Like, if you have something in your life that's already simple, easy and fun. You might be able to like, recreate the wheel (Lesley laughs) (Mallory: Mm-hmm) with something else. So okay, so you do big product launches, conference launches, and then also you are a dating coach on the side apparently. (Lesley and Mallory laughs)

Mallory Gott 8:12  

Well, I should, I should be very clear, I am not a dating coach. And in fact, (Lesley laughs) I should be the last person to be a dating coach. But what I am a good coach of and what the framework eventually expanded to include were individual experiences that people had. And understanding that you know, how you want an experience to feel regardless of what the experience is. And I can help you figure out how to take it through a set of simple steps that will allow you to create the experience to evoke those feelings. So in this case, it just so happened to be dating, but by no means, "Am I (Lesley laughs) a matchmaker?" I mean, (Lesley: Mallory ...) you know, that's... (Lesley: Don't call her. Don't call her) (Lesley laughs) I have, I have many nice friends male and female and non binary and I would be happy to introduce them to people as substitute (Lesley laughs) But like that's not my bailiwick, first and foremost. So just a quick disclaimer there. But yes, it runs the gamut.

Lesley Logan 9:05  

So okay, um, I think, you know, there's, if you're listening, you're like, "Okay, but I don't have a lot product launch." It's like, but you do have like, Thanksgiving parties, you're putting on or Halloween events, or I put on retreats and something that I think people one thing that I'm very clear on, and I probably should still use your framework is. "When I'm having a business retreat coming here in March to Las Vegas." And I was like, "Okay, how do I want them to feel? What I want them to prioritize? Like, what are those things?" And putting, making sure that those are the things that are in the schedule, in the calendar to make sure that that's what what happens? Not everyone starts that way. What what have you seen, like, what are the mistakes in planning of experiences and like, what should we be thinking about instead?

Mallory Gott 9:55  

Yeah, so that's a great question. And, you know, for people who are going, "Yeah, that's cool if you plan a giant trade show, but like I'm trying to do a home renovation." Right? Like, "What are you talking about?" So it's really great because, again, it can be so ubiquitously applied. So just to take, I'll kind of do a quick parallel of what you're describing with the retreat that you're going to be organizing and putting on. And then I'll just use the example of a home renovation because I got to do this. This was the one that another person I worked with was like, "Alright, this experience in the past has been really horrific and I don't want it to be that way again." So like, "How do we do this?" Right? So if we were to look at it in terms of the the four steps of the framework, or the four different kind of parts of the framework. The first one will be how you want the experience to feel, we've already said that. So in the case of the retreat, you may identify, I usually encourage people to identify three to five additives that describe the ideal feeling that this experience will evoke. And then for the person doing the renovation, the same thing, right? So a lot of times when we start people are thinking about the end product. So, I'm thinking about how I want the retreat to feel for people who are buying it and coming to it, or I'm thinking about how I want the renovated space to feel once it's complete. And I kind of take those those additives and I list them out. Then the second step is where we actually start looking at whether you know, whether you're thinking about the experience design and those feelings in terms of how you want the process of building that experience to feel for you. So a lot of people can start with the end product and go, "Cool, I want this retreat to feel, you know, informative, or relaxing, or inspirational or I want this renovation to feel, you know, calming and cozy. And I want it to feel like warm or biting or whatever." But then when I start to take them through the second part where it's like, well, what does that look like for you as the person building the experience? They, it starts to feel a little bit murky, and they're like, (Lesley: Yeah) "What are you talking about?" And that's where I have to say, "Well, if you can't, you know, let's use the renovation." If you don't feel like the experience of picking out your contractors, going to pick out your you know, your your design materials, working with an interior designer, if you're choosing to do so even selecting the time that you want the renovation to start and scheduling it. If those things don't feel calming and inviting, and relaxing, like it's gonna be tough for you to get to an end product that feels the same way. Or if as you're designing the retreat itself, you know, you're not feeling inspired, you're if every single thing feels like you're pulling teeth, or you're not feeling like it's informative, like you're getting kind of invigorated during the process of putting it together, then it's gonna be difficult. You, people can do it, and people do it all the time. But usually, that's the part where you're just, you start to get into this mindset of like, "Okay, we just have to get through it, we just have to get to the end." And when you're in that mindset, the experience is no longer, you're no longer designing the experience. (Lesley: No) The experience is basically running roughshod over you, you're hoping to just cross the finish line. So those are kind of two of the earliest steps. And then we go through that, that very natural part that people's response to designing an experience for themselves, which is like, "Okay, that's all well and good." But like really, that's, that's probably not going to work. Like I can't feel inspired all the time, during the process of building a retreat, or I can't feel inviting and cozy or comfy while I'm trying to put. You know like, I have to be so analytical or I have to get things done. And we really work through what are the things that are just the untruths, about the way we typically design the experiences that we have, where we kind of think it's only once we get across the finish line that we can experience those feelings.

Lesley Logan 13:33  

Yeah. And I think like this listening to you, I'm like, "Oh, my gosh, I have to redo like 17 other things." (Lesley laughs) Because it is true, like I'm even sitting here right now, like, as we're recording this, it's the end of towards the end of 2021. And I'm like," I just got to get to December 12. If I can get to December 12." (Lesley laughs) (Mallory: Yeah, yeah) And that's not fun. I'm not having fun going, "I just got to get to December 12." Like, it's like I feel like those mer... like those Iron Men, like who watch them. And they're like crawling across the finish line, and I'm like would love to just walk across with my head held up high. And (Mallory: Yeah) so I need to go back to my additives of how I want everything to feel so that I can actually (Mallory: Yeah) experience it now. So how, so okay, then the next thing is if people can identify the adjectives of the thing that they want at the end, and then they can look at that as the experience. What are, what are some things that the person doing the home renovation or someone creating the retreat. What are they, what can they do in their step one? Like, do you know what I mean? Like, what's that first next step to get started in that?

Mallory Gott 14:40  

Yeah, so one of the ways that I try to help people with this because for a lot of us, including myself at times, and that's why I was saying to you, it's not a, it's not just lip service to me to have these conversations because it is a reminder to me about how to reintroduce this into my own life all the time, right? Like you teach it and you do it but sometimes it's easy to lose track of it for yourself. (Lesley: Yeah) So when when we've had people, you know if people can identify those adjectives and and I encourage people to get really specific, because it's a lot easier to understand whether something you're designing as like an interim touch point, gets you closer or further away to something that is, let's say, the inspirational or the adjective is dazzling than it is to say, "Oh, it's good," you know, like, well, what's good? Right? Goods really kind of nebulous, it's kind of vague. So (Lesley: Yeah) if you can identify those adjectives first, then the next step is for most people, because they want to jump right into it. But it's such a big paradigm shift to think about the experience and the adjectives first is to start with something really, really small and almost innocuous, or maybe not even related to the big experience that you're designing. So if you're, you know, the person that's doing the home renovation, and you're you're, you've picked the adjective of what was once inspirational or cozy or inviting or whatever. Then you know, instead of going like, "Okay, now I'm going to go out and pick a general contractor. And I'm going to do a whole design and da da da." And the first thing you might do might be to just go to the Lowe's or Home Depot near you, and walk through the hardware section. And I mean, like the cabinetry hardware don't, or unless you love tools, go to that hardware section, wherever you want to go. And just look at like, "If I hold up two things, which one do I think is cozier," you know? And be honest with yourself like, "Is this cozy or this cozier? Or do I really love farmhouse modern? Or am I really like back in the day buffet, and I love Baroque weirdo, you know, or handle, (Lesley laughs) handle cabinetry." But because like so many times, we'll tell ourselves like, "Okay, I want it to feel cozy. But everybody does farmhouse modern right now. And that's what I should be doing." It's like, maybe you should be, or maybe you shouldn't be. You know, and if you're in the vein of the retreat, and planning that process, you know, a lot of times it's like, "Okay, I do want it to feel informative, or inspirational." But I have to be realistic about and I say realism is one of the red flags that I'm out of experience design land, and I'm into analytics lead design, I have to be realistic about what needs to get done. And it's like, "Yeah, okay, you do." But if you've got some things that you need to be done. What are the you know, I have to pull together these three communications that are going to get sent to my internal team so that they can push them out to the people participating. Let's say that's one of them. Okay, so how do I design that small, seemingly inconsequential experience to be more inspirational to me, or to be more informative or exciting, or whatever adjectives I picked. And that can be stuff as simple as like, where I sit to write those communications, or the language that I use, as I'm sending it out. Or, though even you know, I've had clients do this, where they're like, "We can't possibly introduce, you know, a GIF, or a meme into our messaging." And I'm like, "Why not? Like, if that makes it feel more lighthearted and whimsical? And that's what you're designing this experience to be? Give it a whirl." Like, you know, like the worst case scenario, you're, you're, you're out one message, right? So the first step for people who've got the adjectives is to take them and to insert them, and we use a lot of Mad Libs in the framework, insert them into these small touch points and design with the feelings first, for these small touch points. If you can't find the adjectives, then there's kind of a sub step to help with that as well. Because sometimes for folks even just trying to identify, truly, "how do I want this experience to feel?" Is such a foreign concept that they're like, (Lesley: Yeah) "I can't even get there." And they can get there, they just need a little bit of additional support to do it.

Lesley Logan 18:33  

Yeah, I mean, you have my mind thinking, because I was just, I was on a meeting with my team. And I'm like, "I don't even like how I'm being on this meeting. Like how this meeting is going." (Mallory: Yeah) And, and it's like we can, if we can really identify those adjectives, I might have to have them on my wall where I can see them. (Lesley laugsh) But just trying to insert that can really change the outcome of everything because it's true. Like if you want something to be inspirational, but not a single meeting has anything inspiring in it, it starts (Mallory: Right) to feel a little disjointed and almost like I think that's also where even imposter syndrome can come in for people or like, misalignment and feeling like they're not, you know, well imposter is exactly the right word. So, you know, you know, if you're, if you're putting on an inspirational event, but no one is having fun, and no one's inspired. It's not gonna, it's not gonna come out the way it could, you know, (Mallory: Yeah) it makes you think of like, when you pour water on a plant, they've done studies, right? If you pour water on a plant saying negative things, the plant dies and you pour water saying positive things that lives. So that's where my mind is going. This is really cool.

Mallory Gott 19:39  

Yeah. So don't don't shame your plants, whether they're meetings or picking a general like don't shame your proverbial plants. "Support (Lesley: Yeah) and love your plants," right? Do that. Take that appraoch. (Lesley: That's your new shirt.) (Lesley laughs) Don't shame your plants. That's right. That's right.

Lesley Logan 19:55  

So okay, um, I think that that's really I think that's really cool. Just going to the hardware store just to starting with one thing is this cozier? Because that is that actually does really help people think the touch also helps people get a little bit more in there and can put them in there. Okay, what has been the most fun experience you've put together? Whatever you want to, if you can share, but yeah.

Mallory Gott 20:20  

Yeah, yeah. No, I, well, there, there are some that I've done in my personal life that have nothing to do with the business that have been an absolute hoot. But there have been several as well that have been business related one that comes to mind is just so we went in. So on the business side of things, we went into this, this organization in Chicago, they had this big event products that they had been, it has been held for many, many years. And they just, they didn't feel like it was doing much and it was stagnant. And they brought us in to help them redesign the experience. And one of the things that we did, so they they told us even before we got there and did the extra, the initial exercise of defining the adjectives with them, some of the folks in their leadership team told us they really wanted something transformational. And, and so what we did was to go in and do the actual meeting with this group of probably 10, 10 to 12 people. We went in a day early, and they were like, "Why are you here? Do we need to be here?" And we were like, "No, if you just show up the next morning, we got everything covered." So we actually took their conference room and completely converted it, we designed the entire conference room, we brought in all this stuff to to like make it look and feel completely different than what they were accustomed to. And we had put up paper all in all the windows on the one side where people could see in. And it was like, you know, under construction and stuff. So they came in and they had this unbelievable reaction to like, "What is this?" You know what, and of course, we use that as a way to try to get them like, "Hey, this is the this is transformational. This is the kind of thing that you're, you're hoping people are going to feel when they participate." But then the cool part was that you know, so they're like, they're going through the morning, they're having a great time, we're doing all these exercises, we're getting a bunch of stuff down, we excuse them, we send them out to lunch to do this activity, where they're going to different places and small groups, and they're seeing what the experiences through this lens of experience design. During the hour that they had lunch, we flipped the room entirely. So we designed it in such a way that they could come back, like we could really fast pull everything and change the look entirely. And it was a completely different vibe. And so they came back and they were like, "What the heck?" You know, like they it was like a whole nother. And so it was also designed to show them that transformational doesn't necessarily mean that it has to be this really stagnant transformation, or that it's got to be this thing that, you know, if you do it with some forethought, you can have multiple transformations in a single experience and really drive home that concept and that feeling for the people who are participating. And so what was cool for me was the creativity of like designing that experience for the customers that we had, you know, brought in, but then also seeing them actually start to really see it and to start to kind of cement this concept in their minds of like, okay, we get what the feeling is. We don't have to wait until you know, a year from now, once we've done this, to experience this feeling like there are things we can start to do right now. And they can be iterative, and they can be you know, there can be a number of them continuously that will allow us to know whether we're getting, we're achieving this feeling or we're moving further away from it. (Lesley: Yeah) I think that was one of the coolest experiences I've had that you know, you could just see it all over. You could read them like a book and it was really, really fun.

Lesley Logan 21:46  

Okay, so do you have a favorite website for that adjectives because you are the best ones. (Lesley and Mallory laughs) Like, I love more I, I feel like I always want to know more words, and you have used 17 words that I probably haven't used in a sentence in a year. So like I just want ... (Lesley laughs)

Mallory Gott 23:55  

I'm a bit you know what, I'm a big fan. I keep it simple. I use thesaurus.com. I use it often, I use it when I write. I use it frequently. So thesaurus.com shout out to them. They're great. (Lesley laughs) They do have a lot of popup ads on their site, but that's because it's a free website. So, I won't you know, I won't complain because they do a great service to the English speaking community of the world. So yay for thesaurus.com.

Lesley Logan 24:18  

Oh my God, I love you. I'm, I can see, I can see why people have to hire you. And I also can see how like what you put together your framework can be so useful in even like, I mean, I feel like parents homeschooling their kids could have had a totally different experience last year, if they had, (Lesley laughs) "how do I make this easy, simple and fun? And what experience do I want to feel like at the end of the day?" (Lesley laughs)

Mallory Gott 24:46  

Yeah, absolutely, absolutely and that's just it is it's when I like when a person starts to shift their paradigm to this concept that literally anything I do, you know, my my drive through or from wherever I have to go during a given day. The experience of putting together dinner for myself or for my family, grocery shopping, the meetings that I have to conduct online or at home, or in the office, if I'm back in the office, picking the contractor, designing the retreat, any of these things, they're all experiences. And I really do have the ability to figure out how I want to feel, and then design these to maximize those feelings. Man, it's a real game changer for people because they start to realize that they're no longer beholden to things that they think are basically defining the experience that they have in a given day, they start to recognize that they can design those things themselves. And it, it is really, really quite a cool thing to watch people do it and see them go, "Oh my God, I can really do this kind of anywhere in any way that I want. This is cool."

Lesley Logan 25:48  

100%. I mean, like you can, like it's just like you can like literally turn your day around. If you're not enjoying the experience of your day. (Mallory: Yeah) You're like, "Okay, how do I want this day to go?" You know, I'm (Mallory: Yeah) like, really... and so you made me think of ... Okay, so I hate grocery shopping like hate it. Before, delivery was really a thing and accessible to get my groceries delivered. I used to tell Brad and I'm like, "Okay, this is the Amazing Race. Like we're just going to go into Trader Joe's, we have 22 minutes." That's all I'm giving Trader Joe's. And so we're gonna go in there (Mallory: Yeah) and we're gonna team up, "You have a list. I have a list." We're just like going through and I'm like, "Okay, we're out. We get who we..." Like with separate in the in the line to see whose line is faster. We made it a game. And I was like, "Okay, we won that." (Lesley laughs)

Mallory Gott 26:35  

Yeah. No, 100%. And I mean, and it's like, one of the things that was such an eye opener for me. And I laugh about this every time I share it, because it sounds so ridiculous. But so I don't hate grocery shopping. I don't mind it. I don't love it, but I don't hate it. But one of the things I do absolutely dislike strongly, I shouldn't say hate, but I don't like it very much, weirdly, is cutting up vegetables. I really am not great at it. And I can't stand it. And so I was like finally one day, "I was like how do I design this experience?" Like I was so angry chopping something. And I was like, "Wait a minute you ding bat. Why don't you just buy but vegetables that are pre cut? Like, what are you doing? It makes it so much easier. And it's it takes five seconds." And I will tell you that since I started doing that, the quality of my food prepping experience has increased exponentially. And it was so simple, you know? And like when I tell people that sometimes they're like, "Okay, but that sounds like you're just like, what, who cares? Or is this just if you can you know." And I'm like, "No, because it's all these little experiences that you have. It's all these little things." And like it's giving yourself permission to really look at what's more important. Is it creating experiences on a moment by moment basis that allow me to feel better most of the time? And I don't mean selfishly being like, I don't ever do anything that I don't care for. That's not the point. But is it creating whatever experience you've got to go through, designing it so that you can maximize those feelings to the best of your ability? Or is it just saying like, I kind of have to slog through everything and hope that once in a while something crops up, that gives me those feelings, but it's completely out of my control when and where it happens. I personally prefer the former because it allows me to go through even stuff that might not be my first choice. In a way that's much much more you know, for me enjoyable like it's just a lot more fun to buy pre cut vegetables than it is to angry chop them in my house.

Lesley Logan 28:24  

I love that so much. I, so you me... you brought up something about cutting vegetables. And I think that is hilarious because I do think so many people are not cooking more because they also hate cutting vegetables. Like that, like I I was reading a book and this woman wants to prepare, like do the weekly prepare... like food preparation, you know. But it's true like the amount of vegetables you have to chop to make five salads for the week is just really annoying. And she got a mandolin and that made it super fun. And so it's like just asking yourself in any experience. (Mallory: Mm-hmm) "Is this the way I want it to go? And how do I want it to go and what different choices can I make?" And so for you it's buying pre chopped vegetables I love buying those, Brad makes fun, maybe doesn't make fun but I do think he looks at me like, "Why did you buy this chopped carrots? We have a five pound bag of carrots." And I said, "Yes but I have to skin them or whatever it is and then I have to chop them (Mallory laughs) and by the time I've done that I don't even want to eat them. I've been looking at them too long. I don't want to do it." (Lesley laughs) So, (Mallory: Yeah) I buy the pre-cut ones for my snacks because I just want to have carrots as a snack. I don't want to make it an effort. (Lesley laughs)

Mallory Gott 29:31  

And you know and for for for anyone those things are different, right? Some people would listen to this conversation and be like, "Oh my gosh. Really, you can't cut vegetables like you're pretty pretentious." Right? But it's like no, it's not about the vegetable cutting per se. And I certainly if I have I been in positions where it's like, "Yeah, that couple dollars makes a difference. I can't, I will just do this thing of course." But then if it was like, "Alright, I got to do it then how am I doing it?" Right? Like, I mean, I've gotten so ridiculous as to be like I'm gonna put on, I really love very aggressive hip hop, maybe not the (Lesley laughs) most acceptable thing. But like, I'll put on aggressive hip hop, and I'll put on like, like, it's silly stuff, you know, like, an outfit that I like, or I'll make sure like, I'll set a timer and be like, kinda like the Trader Joe's Amazing Race, or I'll be like, "Alright, without cutting your fingers off, what can you do in 10 minutes?" Right? And then you're done. And that's going to be what it is. And like, or I'll even, you know, kind of try to do it in such a way where it's like, I'm going to buy the things that I know are easier to chop, right? So it's, it's just understanding whatever the kind of the parameters are the the ones that are not malleable, the rigid parameters that you're dealing with, within those parameters. How can you design this experience to be as evocative of these feelings that you want to have as possible, you know, because there's always room to play around, it doesn't matter what the experience is, how much money you have, how much time you have, whether or not you have to do it, or you or it's kind of optional for you. Like, there's always room to play around with designing it in such a way that you really are creating the best experience for you based on how you want to feel.

Lesley Logan 31:01  

I mean, I am obsessed with you, because it's basically like you're giving people the opportunity to, in the moment, even change the experience that they're having, and also (Mallory: Yeah) really be in charge of the experience or have it in their life. I mean, we can't control everything, but we can control the music we're playing in the moment in our house, (Mallory: Yeah) or we can or we can, can really ask ourselves like, "Okay, I don't like how I'm feeling. Like, how do I want to feel and what options do I have to make that feeling happen?" And I couldn't I mean, that's like so be it till you see it. (Lesley laughs) And that and, and that's, I hope you all see, like when I heard she does this for a big event, it's like, and she's like, "No, I know you want to have a transformational event, but we have to be transformational in the meeting to have a transformational event." And I'm like, "Yes, that is exactly how life should be lived. And I'm just so grateful for you." Alright, Mallory, um, where can they find you, follow you, stalk you, hire you? Where where are you hanging out these days? Stalking in a good way.

Mallory Gott 31:56  

Oh... I was gonna say if you, if you happen to be in the greater Las Vegas area, you can often find me in Vesta Coffee Roasters shout out to Vesta, which is downtown. (Lesley: Oh my God) But ...

Lesley Logan 32:04  

Obsessed with Vesta. Obsessed. We brew there, I actually okay, this is a just a moment on Vesta. When we're running out low on coffee beans, I literally go on to the app to order two amazing lattes and a bag of coffee beans. And ... (Lesley laughs)

Mallory Gott 32:20  

There it is, there it is, if you got to go in and pick up the beans, you might as well get a latte to go for you (Lesley: Yeah) and you and Boo. But assuming many people may be listening to this who are not in the Greater Las Vegas area, there are a few ways to get a hold of me. So number one, please feel free to visit our website, gaexperiences.com. That's got a whole litany of information on it about different groups who worked with the framework, how you can get access to the course that I teach about the framework, all kinds of good stuff. You can also check me out on LinkedIn, my LinkedIn profiles a good way to get a hold of me directly if you're interested in more information, or you'd like me to come out and hang out with you, help you redesign your dating experience, your home renovation. (Lesley laughs) I don't typically do spouse redesigns that's above my paygrade. (Lesley laughs) But a lot of other things, you know, working with teams or large organizations, that's a great way to get me relatively quickly. So, I would say those are probably the two quickest ways to get a hold of either me or me through a couple of folks at the company who keep tabs on our our website communication tools.

Lesley Logan 33:25  

Love that. Okay. Um, so BE IT action items like what can people do to prioritize themselves, prioritize changing their experience? What do you got for us?

Mallory Gott 33:36  

Yeah, so one of the things that I often suggest I mentioned, we use Mad Libs, is to use kind of a daily Mad Lib. So this is an exercise we have people do well, it's part of an exercise we have people do early on when they're learning the framework. And that is to rather than designing a large scale experience, pick the three adjectives you'd like to experience on a given day or morning or hour, whatever period of time is really pretty incremental for you. And then we have them put down their to-do list. So the things that you have to do in a given day. Name a couple of those, they can be as simple as brush your teeth or as complex as you know, buy a home or whatever you got on the docket. And then we have them go through this Mad Lib where they invert whatever their to-do list and we turn it into a get to-do and so we say in order to feel, I don't know, you know, bubbly while I am doing the laundry, I can X, Y and Z, right? And we have people start to list out a couple things that they can do small, big in between doesn't matter to start shifting their paradigm around those daily get to-do experiences that we have that we can design. So if you do nothing else, I would say give that a whirl. It's a great, great place to start and it's a nice easy way to kind of dip your toes in the water of feelings led experience design, without having to completely overhaul every single facet of your life from the jump.

Lesley Logan 34:59  

Ah, that's so fun. I love that. Okay, well, I'm going to do that after this. When I hang up, I'm gonna be like, "Okay, (Mallory: Yeah ...) how do we change this list of things to do today to get us to (Mallory: Yeah) December 12. (Lesley laughs)

Mallory Gott 35:10  

Yeah. Yeah. That's right. That's absolutely right.

Lesley Logan 35:13  

Ah, Mallory. I can't wait. Well, we'll have to do Vesta. I actually go every Saturday after I worked out with one of our mutual friends. (Lesley laughs) (Mallory: Mm-hmm) So we go every Saturday morning and I I just love that place so much. It's actually why we moved that coffee shop that's why we move to Las Vegas. So yeah.

Mallory Gott 35:31  

It's a winner, a real winner. Yeah, I (Lesley: Yeah) agree. I yeah, it's got a special place in my heart. I could be sponsored by Vesta on many days. I think if they did sponsorships, I feel like I could really throw my hat in the ring...

Lesley Logan 35:42  

We'll, you know what. (Mallory: Qualifying for one) We'll have to send this episode to them because that's a couple of us would like a sponsorship and they do, their neighbors of mine. They actually live down the street. So, I probably (Lesley laughs) just make that happen. (Mallory: Knock on the door. Hey, Jerad. Hi, Hiee) We could really, help... you can actually change this experience a little bit with us (Lesley laughs) (Mallory: Mm-hmm) Ah Mallory, you are lovely. Enjoy your trip that you're on. And thank you for (Mallory: Thank you) taking your time to really share this with our listeners, because I really think it's life changing. And I'm more, I'm so inspired from where I was 45 minutes ago. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And I will hopefully see you in Vegas soon.

Mallory Gott 36:23  

Yay. Thank you so much. Have a great day. 

Lesley Logan 36:26  

You too, everyone. Until next time, Be It Till You See It.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell 37:04  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan 37:15  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell 37:19  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 37:28  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell 37:40  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes, so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

What does the crow symbolize for LL and Brad? Listen to today’s episode as they talk about not giving a fuck, dealing with overwhelm, and how to find your spirit animal. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Dealing with overwhelm 
• Focusing on one thing at a time
• Getting a spirit animal
• Being authentically you, knowing not everyone will like you
• The reverse chess game 

Episode References/Links:

• Scheduling tool

OPC Flashcards:

• OPC Flashcards are on Amazon
• OPC Flashcards are on our site

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:01  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into the energizing convo I have with Jeanieva Faith in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that one, feel free to pause this now go back and listen to that one thing, then come back and join us or do this and then go back. You know, just let it play while you're cleaning your house. You do you. (Brad: do this, do that). Do that. Let us know how you like to do it. Do like a little recap first or the interview first? I'm intrigued. So y'all as you are listening to this, if you're listening to it on the day it comes out or the days it comes out. We are actually finally launching our scheduling tool. It is. (Brad: It's happening) Holy frickin moly. (Brad: Yep) So we actually were hoping to do this in October and then (Brad: November) November and (Brad: then December) December. And it's now happened on January 30th. Holy, I'm so excited. We've been really working so hard. Our partners in crime with this tool are freakin phenomenal. They have thought of everything like.

Brad Crowell 1:46  

This. The software itself, the app itself is like it's incredible. It's really impressive.

Lesley Logan 1:52  

It is amazing. (Brad: Yeah) It is amazing. And I wish I had known about it when I was looking for a scheduling tool. So (Lesley laughs) So anyways, they uhm, they have partnered with us to make it so perfect for the Pilates businesses out there that we know so well. And I'm putting little coaching videos for you in there. So (Bread: Yeah), you get little doses of like advice on what you should be doing when it comes to memberships or not memberships or

Brad Crowell 2:18  

Invoices (Lesley: Invoices) or chat tool, or online,

Lesley Logan 2:22  

I got some upsell coaching tips in there, (Brad: Yeah) which I've always really wanted people to pay attention to. So anyways, if you go to profitablepilates.com/scheduling

Brad Crowell 2:31  

profitablepilates.com/scheduling 

Lesley Logan 2:35  

True. Sign up for I'm doing a free webinar, because in honor of launching this app, I'm wanting to teach you all how to actually schedule your life. So that what you want to have in it is in it and how you can work on your business. And I'm just so freakin stoked. So it's a free workshop. It's one of my favorite ones to do. And then we're going to show you how this tool is going to help you make what I just taught you happen. So anyways, whether or not you're interested in the tool, you should just come to that because I'm literally going to teach you (Brad: Yep) how to time but also you should come because the tool is pretty freakin cool.

Brad Crowell 3:09  

I meant I think it's great. (Lesley: Yeah)

Lesley Logan 3:11  

Okay, well, now, what is our audience question?

Brad Crowell 3:16  

Okay, this week, we had a fun one, which is uhm ...(Brad laughs) people always ask us, How do we do all the things? And in this week, they were specifically referring to how do you work on two projects or businesses? Without getting overwhelmed?

Lesley Logan 3:32  

You're gonna get overwhelmed ...(Lesley laughs) (Brad: Yeah)

Brad Crowell 3:36  

I think that overwhelm is nothing to do with the project at hand. I think it's actually the way that we approach life.

Lesley Logan 3:44  

I feel like we just told people Santa doesn't exist. "And I'm so sorry, if your kids are in the car. I hope you're wearing headphones", anyways, (Brad: what?) though. Well, because it's like, I think people think that like people are doing it all, magically or without overwhelm. And the pull back the curtain thing is, is that you get overwhelmed. (Brad: Yeah) And then you make changes. And then you're on this new level, which means new devil, and eventually you hit overwhelm again. And so first of all

Brad Crowell 4:11  

I also think that it's, that's where that's why I think that, you know, if you keep bumping up against overwhelm, is if you take take the equation, there the the two things that are the recurring theme in that is you and overwhelm, right? So it actually has nothing to do with the thing that you're working on. This is actually a mental exercise that we end up building up to this like, explosion point, and then we go back and it's a cyclical thing, and it can be applied to anything that you happen to be working on.

Lesley Logan 4:45  

Okay, two things has made me think of. One, you get to choose how you see the situation you're in. So you can continue to see it as I'm overwhelmed. Or you can see it as a teaching tool for how you got there so that you can make changes. And so it's a choice. So you can do that. Second, be mindful of when you're saying you're overwhelmed. Is this another version of procrastination, aka perfectionism. So those are a couple things. The other thing I will say is, you know, Brad, and I have one of our podcast, guests, Kareen Walsh, treated us to the Human Design test. And we (Brad: Yeah) are both generators. So if you're wondering how we do it all, like, inherently, we're born to do that. We also have a team of 20. And we have this many people, because every time we hit overwhelm, we figured out how can we at this now that we're at this point, what needs to be outsourced? So really, when I'm at overwhelmed right now, and I'm at it, because a lot of things are happening all at once, and I have a vacation coming up. So I'm very excited about that. However, another thing that we will say from experience is be really mindful if you're trying to grow two things at once, from start, because it's just you cannot do it.

Brad Crowell 5:59  

I think that if we were to go back and do it all over again, we would have picked one. (Lesley: Yeah) of the three companies that we run, (Lesley: yeah.) And it would have been, it would have made everything a lot easier. Because think about it, if you let's just say that you have like, let's say you're an idea machine, like Lesley is an ideas machine. And if you decide to, you know, act on all those ideas at the same time, you're going to have a lot of slow progress. And that is basically what we've been doing for years, now. If we had been able to take one thing, really focus on that and catapult it forward. Get market share lots of users make a bunch of money, etc, etc, etc. Once we have would have had a team infrastructure, all of this thing in place for that one amazing thing. Imagine then, adding a second thing to that one thing, where you already have a huge client base, a huge thing, whatever. Like, it's just a better way to do it. (Lesley: yes) And And here, I know, like, you know, there's a fear of what if somebody has my idea? Well pick the better of the two ideas of focus on that one.

Lesley Logan 7:13  

And also read the book, Big Magic, like ideas want to be born, and it's okay, if someone has no idea, even if you act on your idea, you know, it's still gonna be different. So don't worry about that too much. Please don't ever ask me like, which one will we've chosen? Don't make me choose my babies. But but it is true. Like we we definitely have a lot going on, we've had to hire for that. And when we hit overwhelm, we figure out what is the root cause? How can we change that? And then we start thinking like, well, when can we change that. So that also helps because it's like a light at the end of the tunnel, like a light at the end of the tunnel. It's like, "oh, okay, if I just get to that point, then we can bring on." So we're at the point where we're bringing on someone else to help me because I've hit the I've hit the ceiling again.

Brad Crowell 7:37  

We can get specific. So Lesley, if you don't know, has for, I don't know, almost 10 years, basically been writing everything. (Lelsey: I write everything.) So emails, like newsletter, emails, blog posts, descriptions for everything, all all of the social media.

Lesley Logan 8:21  

Every class description, every YouTube tutorial, every flashcard, every newsletter for all three companies, uhm ...(Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 8:28  

And what I'm not kidding (Lesley: all social media for three Instagrams), Yeah, ...(Lesley laughs) like years ago, when we were trying to figure out, you know, like, how do we figure, you know, how do we describe ourselves? I literally used to introduce her as an author and a writer. Yeah, that's funny, right? Because we all think of her as Pilates. But the amount of writing that she was doing was as much, if not more than teaching, you know, and that was kind of that was kind of amazing. And what we've effectively identified is that right now, today, a lot of her time is still going towards writing. And that's where she needs to be uninterrupted. Don't bother me, I gotta focus, I need an hour, any two hours, any three hours to get this stuff done.

Lesley Logan 8:35  

We literally have a light that I turn on that says, "sssssh" ...(Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 9:12  

So what we've identified now is, wouldn't it be really cool if we had someone help? You know, with this kind of stuff, you know, someone that could, you know, help with maybe writing a newsletter on her behalf or something to that extent?

Lesley Logan 9:26  

So Brad's been writing the newsletter. (Brad: So, yeah) ...(Brad laughs)

Brad Crowell 9:29  

So the temporary solution is that I'm writing the newsletter.

Lesley Logan 9:33  

You know what, I love the people, okay, here, I'm just gonna side note. Every person I've talked to like on the phone, or in person, they're like, Oh, my God, I'm getting newsletters from Brad. I love it. And I'm like, I've been writing to you for years, (Brad laughs) You haven't said anything you've ever said. I love it. No... (Brad: Smallest violin.) But anyways, yes, Brad is correct. So we're at the point where I need someone to do some transcribing of some lives that I do. (Brad: Yeah)

Just to help out and effectively, you know, she was talking about outsourcing. But we now it's insourcing because we're bringing them on the team, and they'll be actually part of the team.

So if you are, if you're a copywriter. (Brad: Yeah) And you you like to say the F word a lot, but not on paper ...(Brad laughs) I'm really interested in talking to you. But anyways, that's a great question. And I, I, I am so sorry that we couldn't just say just get over, you can do it. I would love to it'd be so much easier. But the reality is, is overwhelm is such a great, it's almost like a flashlight of "Do you really want to be doing this?" If yes, then what do you have to do to like make room from the ceiling and the crown of your head so you're not so overwhelmed? (Brad: And if no?), stop. ...(Lesley laughs) Stop full permission to quit. Oh my god, we can quit things people we can. Okay, so this is so fun. Thanks for that question.

Brad Crowell 10:56  

Yeah that's a good question.

Lesley Logan 10:57  

You can send your questions into the Be It pod on Instagram, or send us your bold moments. We really, really really love hearing how you use our guests, be it action items or just like anything, just tell us what your boldness is. We, I want to be inspired.

Brad Crowell 11:14  

Okay, now let's talk about Jeanieva Faith. As the ultimate creator of safe spaces, Jeanieva Faith is a Reiki Master Teacher, founder of Tales from the Stripped and is a heartbreak/ breakup coach. That was kind of cool. (Lesley: I think that was everyone needs one of those). Yeah, from dancing your way to confidence to working with your energy. Jeanieva helps individuals get bold and honor every piece of their story.

Lesley Logan 11:43  

Ah, well, I really enjoyed her. I said this on the pod. I met her through a random panel that I was on for Jonah Vargas. And I was like, "Oh my God, a Reiki person in real life" ...(Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 11:57  

IRL Reiki? ...(Brad laughs) (Lesley: Oh my God...)

Lesley Logan 12:00  

Like, what do you what it's like a unicorn, and she had pink hair. So it's like a unicorn. Um, but I really, I have to be honest, I really loved when she talked about meeting your spirit and all because you also know this, but okay, I'm gonna take you back in time. It's 2008 and I'm becoming a pilates instructor and I am driving across town from Venice to Beverly Hills. For those you know, LA no one really does that, but yes, I used to cross the 405 I was not AWOL. And I would go to Beverly Hills, and I was driving. And it was early in the morning. And these, this murder of crows (Brad: murder) flew in front of my car, as I'm driving. And I was like, "Oh my God!", and I like didn't hit any of them. But I was like, "that was so close". And then one boomerang back. And I swear I had to look back at my rearview mirror, make sure they're flying away. And it really like, it's so weird, like pigeons flying for your car, all the things, squirrels and you don't go "oh my god". I mean, it's like you don't want to hit them. But like this one, I got to the studio. And the client that I was teaching that day, it was the first time I was meeting her. And something came up about weird things in the morning. I said the weirdest thing just happened to me and I told her the story and she is a medium. And she said oh, I think you just met your spirit animal. And I was like "a crow? aren't like those like for like witches" like I don't understand. Anyways, I look up crows. They are frickin the best spirit animal like really, really awesome. They're so freakin smart. And so I got really excited. So every time I saw crows, I was like, Good luck. Good luck. Good luck. Okay, fast forward years later, a lot of years later, what is this? 2008 So now in 2013. I meet Brad. We don't get to dating until 2014. So it's like November of 2014. We're going to Raine's wedding. Do you remember this, Brad? (Brad: Yeah), those are my dog's ears. (Brad: Santa Barbara) So we're in Santa Barbara, going this wedding. And we're walking down State Street and there is a black raven painted on a doorway. And Brad says to me, I always thought I'd have like a company called like the white Raven. And I was like, oh, yeah, (Brad: I do remember that) You remember that? Yeah, that's so cool. And so anyways like ravens look like crows. Okay, anyways, if you haven't looked at how Brad spells his last name, it's crow. E L L? Okay, now, here we go. That night after the wedding. We're in this hotel in Santa Barbara. It's freaking awesome. I have a dream of a crow flying through the air with the ribbon LL out of its mouth. And Brad and I had agreed that I would never bring up marriage however we were at a wedding. I didn't bring it up. He got invited by my friend. Okay, but I had to tell him this dream because I was like that's so weird. So then I told him about this dream with the CROW and the ribbon at... do you remember this? I told about this like the ribbon is spelling LL, if you look at his last name, CROW e LL So he looks like an en passant LL, my initials. Alright, you're still with me? You're still with me. So then when he finally proposed to me because he got his shit together and he figured out that like I'm the best. 

Brad Crowell 14:53  

Oh, yes. Oh, yeah, I remember that. Right, right. (Lesley: Yeah, I'm the best) ...(Brad laughs)

Lesley Logan 14:59  

We, we were getting my plan for our wedding. And for whatever reason we decided to get tattoos because we thought that would be a genius. It is genius. Anyways, we got a CROW with the LL spelled out well.

Brad Crowell 15:12  

I can jump in on that because my so my cousin is an artist, she's a painter. And so I reached out to her and explained to her, Hey, would you be able to do like a watercolor of a crow holding a ribbon blowing out with an LL in the back? And so she, you know, sent over a draft I was like, "Yeah, that's really cool." And she and she painted it. Yeah. And then that actually is what turned into the tattoo.

Lesley Logan 15:40  

And then it also became a tattoo at our wedding because everyone got to have their own fake tattoo version. (Brad: yeah temporary tattoos) That's a different story. Later anyways. Now, Brad has a company called As The Crows Fly. It's not white Raven, but it's pretty freakin close. So y'all, this story all the say is, you may have met your spirit animal. And if you have, I highly suggest you go through the research of it. And if you haven't, pay attention, it's probably like pick pick, pick, pick, pick or flying in front of your car, or I don't know. But they're these. These are little they're signs everywhere. And I know this can get really woowoo. This is a one whoo show and I frickin love it. So get your spirit animal. Okay, what did you love it? She said ...(Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 16:27  

I forgot we're doing a podcast right, okay. All right.

Lesley Logan 16:32  

But don't you think it's crazy? You wanted to have a business about a Raven. And now you have a whole company called As The Crows Fly (Brad: It's true) We have retreat space. We named a road in Cambodia. Like you couldn't have crow any you like, where else do you want it? ...(Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 16:48  

Okay, I really loved when she very in an offhand way. Said you know, Reiki is not religion. Reiki has no deity. (Lesley: I think it's cool. I didn't know that.) I didn't know that. I it's it's a Japanese art form. Right? And basically, it's an energy exchange. Right. And, and I, I don't know, I just, she said, I grew up in a very Christian world, you know, and then, you know, but this effectively put me in touch with my emotional side, you know, my energy side in a way that, you know, there is no conflict between the religion that she has, and the practice of Reiki that she has. And, and she didn't really go too in depth into this, but that I heard that whole thing. And I walked away with that, because I always thought it was kind of weird. And I didn't really know anything about it. And I just was like, Well, you know, I don't whatever that is, I don't know if I'm down with all that.

Lesley Logan 17:53  

Well, cuz, it's, I mean, like, I don't know, you saw the craft as our first date, everyone. (Brad: Oh, yeah. Okay.) It's like, you know, "why's a feather stiff as a board"? And it's like hands over a body. And so people can think of Reiki as like some sort of like, weird craft, but like, it has no deity so it isn't it like and I do think for those people who are Christian, we have lots of Christian listeners, Brad and I went to Christian colleges, by the way, you wouldn't know by my foul mouth, but I did And i ...(Lesley laughs), and I you know, I struggle a bit because I like to, I like to tell my parents like you can be Christian and Buddhists and they get stuck on the on the idol. They get stuck on the god, they get stuck on that and like, and Reiki doesn't have that. So like, I think dive all in go find a Reiki instructor or call Jeanieva. I think she has it virtually too. So I don't know. Yeah, I don't wanna put words in her mouth. 

Brad Crowell 18:41  

Well, anyway, I thought that was actually really surprising. I didn't, I didn't know that. So I'm very excited to have listened to her talk about her experience, and how, you know, Reiki has helped her really stay more in touch with her emotional side.

Lesley Logan 19:01  

Well, and in all this, it's so funny, because it's, I don't know, it's like what you pay attention to, but I'm doing this training on breathwork. And it's trauma informed. And we spend a lot of frickin time with our emotions, like a lot. It's not something I love to do. And and then, you know, I of course, I found her before I even started this program. And I actually think that the, like, the keys to like, peace and love are just a lot of people getting in touch with their emotions. And so if you are struggling with that, and you don't like therapy doesn't sound like you know, as fun as doing laundry. Like we like to say then I highly recommend checking in with a Reiki instructor because you've got to get in touch with those emotions, y'all. So

Brad Crowell 19:46  

Yeah. All right. So finally, let's talk about the big action items. What bold, executable intrinsic or targeted action items, can we take away from your conversation with Jeanieva Faith? I'm gonna jump in here and say, have an "I don't give a fuck attitude." I kind of thought this was cool her ... (Lesley: I don't give a fuck, I don't give a fuck, I'm gonna give a fuck) ...(Lesley laughs)

But the you know, she said this is something her teacher said because it would bring her the people, friends clients, you know things into her life that she wants around her. And, well, I think that,

Lesley Logan 20:31  

Well, it just helps you show up more authentically yourself. And that's the hardest part because people say, like, people say all the time, just be your authentic self. Just be your authentic self. (Brad: I mean, in fact, I think that like) Good luck without giving a fuck.

Brad Crowell 20:43  

A couple of, yeah, right. A couple of episodes ago, I think I said, How do you even do that? Because you have to know yourself, if you're going to show up authentic, you know, as yourself authentically. And that's hard to you know, admit who you are to yourself. (Lesley: Well you might like parts of you. And that's actually okay.) Right. Yeah, sure. And I guess that some people who don't give a fuck still don't like parts of themselves. But I think that if you I don't, I don't say this in a way. That's like, you know, don't have, you know, a moral compass or don't have any of that kind of thing. But I do. Like, it's not like you're, you know, out to hurt other people and you (Lesley: Right) and you're not caring for other people. But having an "I don't give a fuck" about the way you're perceived in the actions that you're doing, is a very freeing thing. Because when you are, if you're constantly worried about how people are thinking about you, you're going to do you know, you're going to act according to how you think they're thinking about you, which is like a reverse chess game ...(Lesley laughs) It's so it's so funny. People are like, I don't play chess, like you fucking do every day with the way you you carry yourself around people. You're acting in a way that you're imagining they're thinking about you. (Lesley: Stop right now. That's so freakin brilliant). It's like, you know, so anyway, if you what if you didn't care about the way that they think about you, then you could just be. 

Lesley Logan 20:50  

Well, okay. Oh my god, my mind is blown right now.(Brad laughs) my like, you know, and all the ideas hit like I have a crash course on ideas in my brain right now. But here's what I think is thank you for prefacing, like this is not a "I'm going to hurt people because I don't give an F." This is not like, you know, throw two sheets to the wind and just do whatever you want to do. It is though, recognizing that you are not a taco and not everyone's going to like you ...(Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 22:40  

I love that you keep coming back to this.

Lesley Logan 22:41  

This is well you know what my friend Kara Lamb I don't know if she listens to this, but I'll have to let her know. She wrote I just don't trust people who don't like tacos. Just don't trust people don't like tacos. And I was like people don't like tacos? You can have a taco made of Hickok like there's not like there's so many flavors of tacos out there. But I say this because I wish I had been told not everyone will like you when I was growing up. I would have not become a perfectionist. I would have not tried to go okay, how do I make sure I don't step on anyone's eggshells. Like how do I like make things like so precious? Like so? We're trying to find different ways of making you understand like not giving a fuck is not hurting people but most importantly is especially not hurting yourself because you playing chess like Brad was saying, like it's like reverse Yoda. What does that whole thing? It's like reverse reverse. Reverse psychology and reverse. So ...(Lesley laugsh) but I just I you are right. It was a couple weeks ago where like how do you know how to be authentically you? And I really do think it's like just being okay, that not everyone's gonna like you. But most importantly try to really like yourself and show up as that person. (Brad: Yeah) Like at the end of the day. Did you like how you are today? That is like the simplest way of not giving an F. 

Brad Crowell 23:54  

That's pretty powerful.

Lesley Logan 24:00  

Thanks. Anyways, I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell 24:03  

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 24:04  

Thank you so much for joining us today. How are you going to use these Be It action items in your in your life, I for sure want to know Brad wants to know (Brad: I want to know) we're gonna you're gonna do is you're gonna screenshot this, you're gonna tag us to be at pod and you're going to tell us your bold moment where you didn't give an F and you are authentically yourself or what you learned about yourself. If you have questions send to the Be It pod, and until next time, we'll catch on the next episode. (Brad: Bye for now.)

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day! 

Be It Till You See It is a production of As The Crows Fly Media.

Brad Crowell 25:03  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan 25:14  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell 25:18  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 25:27  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Perdoso for editing all video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell 25:39  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

What the heck is Reiki and how does it clean your soul? Jeanieva Faith and Lesley Logan talk about the Japanese practice of transferring energy, healing heartbreak, and dancing till you feel sexy. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Reiki is energetic toothpaste
• Beginning a Reiki business 
• Meeting your spirit animal 
• Mental diets
• Being emotionally constipated
• Can you compartmentalize heartbreak? 
• Showing up authentically to create magic

Episode References/Links:

• IG @jeanievafaithofficial
• Website: jeanievafaithofficial.com

Guest Bio:

Jeanieva Faith is the owner of Tales from the Stripped LLC, home of Reiki by Jeanieva and The Sidepiece Diaries, and a safe space to go deep, get vulnerable and unabashedly love yourself.

She is a Reiki Master trained in the Usui System of Natural Healing, the author of a children’s book promoting self love available on Amazon, and a Heartbreak Coach.

Her goal is to offer a safe place for women to get bold and bare it all to honor every piece of their story.

OPC Flashcards:

• OPC Flashcards are on Amazon
• OPC Flashcards are on our site

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Hey you, welcome back. Okay, so I just want to say, I'm over the moon about you, and what this podcast has been able to do in such a short period of time. When I'm recording this, well, it's probably a couple months before you're gonna hear it, but it is a couple days after we hit 10,000 downloads, and I'm such a goal getter in a lot of ways. But with this podcast, I've just been trying to honor what it's purpose is, which is to inspire you, to do it scared, take messy action, Be It Till You See It. And so I never, I just knew I was like, "Okay, when when it's span of three years, we're going to look and see what how this is going." (Lesley laughs) And it's three months this week, and we hit 10,000 downloads, and that's a huge deal. And if you're not in the podcasting world, you might not know but like, it really is, like very few podcasts make it past seven episodes, 10 is a lot. And you know, we're gonna be hitting 50 before the end of the year. And that to me was an achievement. But actually, seeing that we hit 10,000 downloads that was a bigger achievement because had nothing to do, well, I'm not that have nothing to do with me. It's a lot to do, I do the podcast, but had everything to do with you. We hit 10,000 downloads because you are downloading the podcast because you are pressing play, you have so many other things you could be doing. And instead you're like, "No, I need I need this podcast in my my life right now." And I don't take that lightly. In fact, I take it very seriously. I'm super, super honored. Ask Lori Harder pod... Lori Harder's podcast, about a month before we went live. And I said that "I was really nervous." And she was like, "What you nervous about?" Like, "What if people, what if I waste people's time?" And she said, "Well, then they just won't listen and that's okay." And I was like, "Oh, that's right." And so getting that download mark, it just, it just, it's like the, it's like a lovely gift because it just means that what we are doing here is making a difference in people's lives. And, and you are loving it. And I'm just it's like, that's a conversation, that's how we're having a conversation. So, I just want to say a big thank you at the top of the show for that. I know, it'll be a little belated, when you hear (Lesley laughs) this from the moment, but I also just wanted to say, "It's okay to not know what things are gonna be like before you get started." And that's maybe exactly what I'm trying to say with this whole gratitude is that like, "I didn't know what this podcast could be so quickly but I did it anyways." And if you are struggling to figure out what your next thing is, you know, I definitely would dive back into some of these past guests. We've had also today's guest which is @jeanievafaithofficial on Instagram, Jeanieva Faith. She's a Reiki Master, and you're going to hear what she did before. She said he Reiki which might surprise you, definitely surprised me. I think sometimes we look at people I know I did when I was a Pilates instructor. I didn't, I didn't think before I became a Pilates instructor excuse me, I didn't think I could become one. I didn't even think that that was an option. Right? Like I was like, "Well, I have a job. It pays my bills, and I kind of like it." And similar to Jeanieva, I did my first class and I was like, "This is amazing." But I really love her story. I really, really love what her mentor did for her. And I think sometimes we just need that, we need someone in our life, to nudge us a little bit more to being it till we see it, and not getting in our own way. And I hope this podcast is that for you. And if it's not, I hope one of our speaker guests, or someone in your life is that person for you. And so maybe just like, take a look around and to see who's nudging you to be it till you see it, to do it scared, to take some messy action. So anyways, I am done taking up your time, I know that you're here to listen to Jeanieva. It's really fu... it's really fun. We nerded it out and we got a little on the woo side. And I can't wait to hear your takeaway. So please, please, please screenshot this, tag tag us and let us know or if you're not into Instagram, if you're like, "Lesley, I'm like not even sure what that even means." Just text a friend this podcast so that they listen to it. That's how we get this word out. And also how people can be inspired by someone like today's guest, Jeanieva Faith. So, after this message here's Jeanieva.

Hey, BE IT pod listener, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being you. Thanks for watching our podcast here on our YouTube channel. I'm just so grateful for you. I have a big favor, and I'm, I mean like let me just say, "It's not easy for me to ask for help," but I need your help. I'm on a mission, I really want to change as many lives and help people Be It Till they See It all over the world, and I need your help. We have been so grateful. The amount of downloads our podcast has had in just a short period of time is, it's amazing. That's insane. However, we also need more written reviews. So, and specifically on Apple. So even if you are watching here on YouTube, or you listen on Spotify, or you listen on Google Play, Apple podcast is where everyone looks to see which podcast they should send people on for interviews. And, so we need lots of reviews to be there like a hundred written reviews. So, big huge favor if you could use the link below, go write a review, rate us, give us all the stars you love and let me know. Screenshot it, send it to me on a @be_it_pod. I just want to thank you for the bottom of my heart. We are truly, truly can't do this podcast without you. And, I'm just so grateful that these words hit your ears. And if you wouldn't mind writing us that review that would be amazing. And, I will be so forever grateful. Thank you and now here's the podcast you wanted to listen to.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

All right, BE IT listener. Ah, I'm so excited. I met Jeanieva on a random panel podcast. Like I was late to that podcast, by the way. So just another thing that you can be a little bit late, a little bit messy and great things to come out of it. But Joanna Vargas who was our first guest on the BE IT pod, had me on her Get Up Girl podcast and I meet Jeanieva and because I was late I had no idea who she was. (Lesley laughs) I was just listening to her. And that's what's so fun. Like it's okay to show up late to a room and just sit and listen and be an observer because you will hear and meet some amazing people. And so Jeanieva, I'm so excited to have you on the podcast. Can you tell everyone a little bit about yourself?

Jeanieva Faith 6:56  

Hi, I am so super excited to be here as well. Thank you. My name is Jeanieva. I'm a Reiki Master Teacher. I've been practicing Reiki since 2016. I recently opened up an LLC called Tales from the Stripped to incorporate different healing modalities. I do Reiki, I also do heartbreak mentoring slash breakup coaching. (Lesley: That's so cool) And yeah, and like da... dance classes to just bring out like, your inner sexy and confidence. So it's just uh ...

Lesley Logan 7:35  

Okay, (Jeanieva: just) that I had no idea and that ... Okay, so Monica Linda, who also knows Joanna. I don't know if you know a, Monica. She lives in LA as well. (Jeanieva: Not yet) Oh, you got to meet Monica. You just have to. So Monica is also on the podcast. And she just sent me pictures of myself. I don't sorry, listeners I'm make this about me for a second. She sent me pictures of myself. I didn't know her at the time. But it was probably like 2018 as of the Bliss Prodrick... Bliss Project. And I was like really kind of embarrassed to be in this class. It was like a sexy workout. And I was like, "I don't dance. I definitely like I'm like, like a robot like Elaine in (Lesley laughs) Seinfeld, like how I dance." And she was going through some pictures for Lori Harder. And she sends me these pictures. And I was like, "Oh my God, who is that girl?" I was so nervous. No one would ever think that about me. But I was so nervous that I was trying really hard to like act as if and I was just like, "Oh, I don't even know how to act sexy." ... So, I was I saw these pictures of myself dancing this room. And I was not being it till I mean, I was trying but like I've just a different person. So the fact that you've teach people how to do that. I just want to dive into a little bit how did you start teaching when do that? And like what did you see happen when they like, found that inner sexy? Like what did you discover?

Jeanieva Faith 8:50  

Um, well, how I started teaching people to do that is I actually was a dancer for 11 months, about 10 years ago. And while ... (Lesley and Jeanieva laughs) (Lesley: I love it so much.) I have a very colorful, colorful past that led me to where I am today. And I am so grateful for all of it. So while I was there, the whole experience I was like, "I'm going to write about this. I am here because I need to do something with this information." And it was such a such a beautiful experience and it you know there were not great aspects of it, of course, but also I because like you like you were saying like you feel like you know you don't know how to dance. But really I bet that you do. I bet you know I bet it's in there because like that's how I felt like I always thought that I was awkward. My sister is a brilliant and beautiful choreographer and like she got it all. I always joke like, " She got it all." (Lesley: Right, right) (Lesley and Jeanieva laughs) There was there was absolutely none left for me.

Lesley Logan 10:00  

Right. The genetic pool of dancing went to one sibling only, and that was that there was like no more left to give, which, when you say out loud, it's like kind of hilarious. It's like, that's not even how genetics work. (Lesley and Jeanieva laughs) 

Jeanieva Faith 10:12  

I know. So I found that like, holy macaroni, like, I can dance. Like, I can, like, I was able to tap into this inner goddess, I guess. And if I was able to do it, the girl who was super awkward, or who believed she was super awkward, then anybody can do it. So it's just, it's really nice to have groups of women in here, or maybe even one on one, to just, you know, have them be like, "I don't feel sexy at all. I don't know how to dance at all." And it's like, "That's okay, we're just going to turn on music that makes you feel good. And we're just going to play, we're just going to play" and just to watch these women transform is so beautiful, and so fun. And what I like to do to make their experience authentic, is, you know, like, sometimes I'll change the lighting, I have a strobe light, like, I'll have like, some Prosecco or something just to really get them to, to feel into it, to feel into their sexy.

Lesley Logan 11:17  

And what have like, like, what have they said afterwards? Like, is there been any, any transformations? Anything that they're like, "Oh my God," like, can you tell me because I'm like, maybe I need to turn on my lights off and turn a strobe light on and turn on some Lady Gaga and get my dance on. (Lesley laughs)

Jeanieva Faith 11:32  

Um, I, the feedback that I get was, "I felt really good. I feel really good. I got I went home to my husband, and he noticed the difference. Or the next day, like I went to work, and I just felt sexy. And I just felt confident." So, it's mostly that which to me is, "Wow! Which is exactly what create and do for these women."

Lesley Logan 11:56  

Yeah, that's beautiful. Okay, so for the listener who is like, "What in the world is Reiki?" Can you tell us a little bit about that and and kind of dive into what they can do for someone because I, I've told people to go do Reiki, I think someone was like, "Can I practice on you?" But actually, I couldn't define it. I'd have to look it up. So can you tell us a little bit about Reiki and like what you do?

Jeanieva Faith 12:22  

Yes, absolutely. So Reiki is a Japanese energy healing modality based on the principle that the practitioner can transfer, lifeforce energy into a client. And it really helps with, you know, cleansing energy, I like to describe it best to people who aren't really familiar with it is like an energetic toothpaste. Just like how you brush your teeth. And, you know, you're just kind of cleansing all the gunk away. That's how I describe Reiki ...

Lesley Logan 12:52  

It's so cool. (Jeanieva laughs) That's a really great description of it. So wait, it's Japanese ... Like, how did you, like did someone give you like, how did you go, "I ... to study Reiki?" Like, did you know it your whole life? Like, what was that like?

Jeanieva Faith 13:06  

Well, I knew I wanted to do something in the healing arts. My grandma was a incredible intuitive. And I had, you know, very keen intuition as well. And I remember being younger and thinking, I would love to do something with this. How can I, how wonder like, "How I could make this a job?" You know, I always wondered that. And I think it was about like 2014 when I met someone who was a Reiki Master, and she ended up being my teacher, but at that point, I had no idea, I had no idea what it was. I was you know, like, "That's weird. Okay." And that ...

Yeah. I think and ... be like, "Hmm. Really gunk your like toothpaste off, the gunk off my body. (Lesley laughs)

Yeah, like you're gonna like toothpaste, my spirit. What? (Lesley laughs) So, so then, like I saw, like, you know, good old Facebook. I saw a friend from high school was like she was looking for people to practice Reiki on because she was studying Reiki and I'm like, "Huh, this is interesting." And during that time, I was going through something where I was feeling emotionally constipated. I'm a crier. I cry all the time. That's how I, you know, I feel I feel things to free things. And I was so stressed that I could not cry and I'm like, "What in the world?" Like, I need to cry, and I could not. So I'm like, "Well, maybe Reiki can help. It's free. Let's see what it can do for me." And I was hooked. I thought that maybe it would release emotions and I would cry. I didn't cry, but it felt like I had cried. I was (Lesley: ohhh) so free. I was so like, like, like, a relaxed or rejuvenated or I can't even think of the right word right now but I was like, I need to learn ...

Lesley Logan 15:00  

It's whelmed, it's that whole thing. Like, that's that word that doesn't exist. We're overwhelmed or underwhelmed, but we're never whelmed but like sometimes when I can't figure out how I feel, "It's like it's because I just feel whelmed." (Lesley laughs) (Jeanieva: I love that.) I've been sent the TikToks on this, y'all. That's it people know, I'm like, "No, that wasn't mine but that's exactly how I believe." I know what you mean that's kind of how I felt when I did my first Pilates class. Like, I was just like, "I feel muscles. I didn't feel, I feel like this. I felt these things, but I felt like I meditated, but I didn't." And it's a little hard to describe and like, you know, takes up some time. Okay, so, I do think that you should have a definition on your website, like, "Reiki toothpaste for your soul." I think that's ... our spirit. But okay, so what were you doing before you became a Reiki instructor? Because I, I was a jewelry store girl. Who was like," Can I be a Pilates instructor?" So like, what were you doing before? Can you share that with us?

Jeanieva Faith 16:00  

I was an Instructional Assistant for Arcadia Unified School District in the special education department. And ...

Lesley Logan 16:07  

Woah, so like nothing in the healing arts. (Jeanieva: Nothing) So when you when you had this like experience where you just were like, "I felt like I cried, but I didn't have to cry... I didn't cry" like you felt this experience. Like, when did you go, "I want to learn this to teach it." And then what was that ne... what was that like?

Jeanieva Faith 16:26  

Immediately, immediately, I was like, "I need, I need to learn how to do this." And then it was the next day where I contacted the the friend that I met. And I was because I knew that that she taught it and I was like, "Okay, how do I get started?" And it was, I hit the ground running.

Lesley Logan 16:43  

That is super cool. That is so cool. What I love... So maybe, was there any part of you that was like, "I can't do this." So there any part of you that's like, "No, this doesn't make sense or like who am I to do this?"

Jeanieva Faith 16:57  

Oh, yeah, totally, you know, I, I didn't give myself a lot of time to process it. Like I said, I just hit the ground running. And once you take your second level, you can start practicing. And I remember being there in my class, and we were finishing up and she said, "Okay, we're going to order your business cards." And, and I'm like, "But I don't even want, I don't even know what I'm going to call my business." And she's like, "Your Reiki by Jeanieva for now. You can think about it later because if you think of it... because if you think about it, you're not going to do it. Like you're going to spend so much time thinking of this creative name and you're just not going to dive in." So right then and there, we ordered the business cards, and I've been Reiki by Jeanieva ever since.

Lesley Logan 17:38  

I'm obsessed with this person. I freaking love it. Your to... 100% right. If you think about it, you're never like, that's insane. That's so because we we almost if we give air oxygen to that thought it like, it like takes a life of its own. And so she's like, "No, we're just ordering your cards right now, you're just going to be this, this is fine." And that is like it's that messy action. It's that doing it scared. That's really, really cool. So okay, so you've been doing this for five years. (Lesley laughs) And you weren't even given a moment to go, "Hmmm. Maybe I can do this." So, like what did aside from ordering your business cards before you're like even knew what your name was going to be? What was some other things that came up from like, stepping into this Reiki Master? Like, because that I imagined like because you're supposed to, as a Reiki Master your your toothpasting the spirits (Lesley laughs) to people. But like, what did you have to do to make sure that you felt strong and confident in doing that? Because you kind of have to be in your own, like two feet to do to take energy from people, right? Or to clean their energy.

Jeanieva Faith 18:46  

Right. Right. And there were times when I started and I just I wasn't really guarding my, and protecting my own energy. So I'd have a client and I'd feel sick. And there were times where I'm like, "I don't know if I could do this. I don't know if I could get sick every time I practice Reiki on someone," which was interesting. And there were I think what I did was really dive deep into my my spirituality or I let my spirituality evolved. I grew up very Christian and and there's no deity attached to to Reiki. And so I really had to like, let like let other things in. And what I did one time and this is an interesting story. Maybe it's a little bit too out there. But my friend facilitated a shamanic drum circle, shamanic journey. (Lesley: Cool) And I was like, "Cool. Well, I'm a you know Reiki practitioner now. Let's just dive deep into the weirdness." Cool ... (Lesley laughs) (Lesley: I've been there) So you know, so, so I went on a journey and this you know, this is you know, people always ask like, "Well, did you take anything" and no, that wasn't anything like that at all. And I, I met my spirit animal, and he was a deer. And the deer told me, "You have everything you need and punched me in the chest." (Lesley and Jeanieva laughs)

Lesley Logan 20:12  

That's so funny.

Jeanieva Faith 20:14  

In so, in my office, I have deer stuff everywhere. And so I just had to remind myself, "Constantly, you have everything that you need, you have everything that you need, you wouldn't have been, this desire in your heart would not have been given to you if you didn't have everything you need." And just kind of being on a mental diet of when a negative thought comes in, or when I feel like, "I can't do it." There ... there's a balance of like, "Okay, you feel like shit today. I'm going to honor that, but you're not going to stay there." So, you know, just to kind of have that like, "I'm, I'm not good enough." And then you know, the other thought of "Nope, you've got everything you need just kind of whisking it away." So kind of a mental diet. I guess.

Lesley Logan 20:58  

That's really cool because that that helps you I'm sure that whole thing helped you in your healing people. And you're like, "Oh, I'm sick" and your brains like, "Well, you have everything you need." And you're like, "Oh, like you don't have to keep this sitting here. We don't have to stay with this, like we can let (Jeanieva: Yeah) this pass through us as well." Okay, because our listeners are probably like what is a spirit animal. I have a spirit. I, the crow is my spirit animal. And I'll tell you that story about. (Jeanieva: Oh) Yeah, but so that's just like, can we kind of like do a little like, one-o-one on what a spirit animal is, for those listening. (Lesley laughs) (Jeanieva: So what would you... I ...) I mean to me like I think spirit animals just kind of like, it's not like a like a guardian angel of anything like that. But it just kind of like whenever I like, okay, this is how I discovered my spirit animal. I had this random client when I was learning to teach Pilates. It was such a weird, like, she still pops up in my life. And if she's listening, "Hi, Sue, you're amazing." But I was on my way to teach her. And I'm driving from Venice to Beverly Hills, which if you lived in LA, like no one does that. And I had to do it every day. And then I had to drive from Beverly Hills to Santa Monica (Lesley laughs) (Jeanieva: Oh my God) to go to work, but I was wanting to become a Pilates instructor and these crows which LA is covered in crows, as you know, Jeanieva like they're big, they're beasts like and there's no crows in Vegas, which is a little sad for me. But anyways, these crows like this "Murder of Crows" that's what they're called, flew in front of my car, like in front of my car. And I was like driving I was like, "Oh man, I'm gonna hit these crows." And then then they flew up and then one circled back. I'm not even kidding. And I almost like I almost ran it over with my I'm like, "Oh my God, why are you doing this?" Like why would, no bird dives in front of a car, right? And no crow was hurt in this moment. But when I was really shook up about it, like the whole drive I'm like, "that was just the weirdest experience." Which is also so weird because it's like how often have you driven in a bird is like almost flown in like I don't worry about like, I don't know why but that just really shook me up. Lady Gaga song was playing "Just Dance" which is like my favorite song. I the only time I've ever discovered an artist I knew about her before she on the radio. I felt really good about myself. So anyways, listen to that song. This crow thing happens and I get to her and she's like, "Are you okay?" I was like, "I'm just really weirded out by these crows that like dive bomb my car and like tried to like you know I don't know what they were trying to do but they really scared me." And she goes, "Oh, I think like maybe the crow is like your spirit animal just kind of show up, that that's what it is." And it's it's really interesting thing the crow a lot of people think is like not so good but it's like a really good spirit animal to have. (Jeanieva: Yeah, yeah.) Yeah. So whenever I see a crow whatever thought I'm having I'm like, "Oh noted. That's good... like we're on the path." Or (Lesley laughs) so I would just say like I think like a spirit animals almost like a guide or just like a reminder that like something is happening for you.

Jeanieva Faith 23:53  

Yes, absolutely. That's how I feel spirit animals are as well if I see a deer, a deer image or you know deer in real life. Like I'm like okay, like I'm I'm watched over. I'm on the right path. (Lesley: Yeah) And I love I love that crow is your spirit animal because they're one of my favorite creatures and in that journey. Crow was there also and crow said, "Why do you doubt your magic?" So ... (Lesley: Oh, chills) I know me too. (Jeanieva laughs)

Lesley Logan 24:20  

Wow, y'all just so you know. No, we had there's not a question in my podcast thing like, "What's your spirit animal?" I had no idea that we would talk about crows today. (Lesley and Jeanieva laughs) Gosh, okay, so that's really cool. I think that so many people could really learn a lot from that because even though those are our spirit animals and even though yours told you you have everything that you need and the crow came and said "why would you doubt your magic?" Like everyone can take that with them like you could like you know like if you don't want to go through a shaman situation, or have a crow dive by, dive bomb your car, you could literally take those two sayings with you. And like, kind of embody those. Okay, so I want to know, you know, I know you tried to do Reiki because you were just feeling a little stuck emotionally or you, I like that you said constipated. That's really funny. But I, I'm wondering like, why would people seek out Reiki and like, what can it help them do because I do think that so often people get in their own way, emotionally versus actually physically. Like, as we said, we have everything we need. I think any person listening to this could be it till they see it. But there are things that get in our way. And one of those could be an emotional block. So can you tell me a little bit more about that?

Jeanieva Faith 25:37  

Yeah, I think a lot of clients, a lot of clients come in, because they're feeling overwhelmed. They're feeling stressed, a lot of them come in, after experiencing a breakup, a heartache, things where they're just completely stressed out, or they can't focus. So that's the stuff that they come to me with mostly, and then there's people who have physical ailments as well. And Reiki really can help with that, you know, it's energetic toothpaste that knows where to go and can, you know, shed some healing light wherever it needs to be. So mostly people come in here because they're feeling stressed. But a lot of times, it's because they're feeling pain on the, on the physical level, on the emotional level. So usually, they leave here feeling lighter. I love when they come back. I love when they'll call me just to tell me, "I feel so good. Or I was able to do that. And I didn't think I was able to do that before." It's just so, it's so fulfil... It's so yeah, it's so fulfilling. It feels really, really good.

Lesley Logan 26:45  

I, I, I understand that. I would... So when you when you do do Reiki ... well the co... pandemic, were you doing Reiki via zoom? Like, do you have to be in person to do Reiki? What's the situation?

Jeanieva Faith 26:57  

No, not at all, we can definitely do distant Reiki and that's what I was doing during the pandemic, was distant Reiki. And before you know, like, you know, when I was learning it, you do it on the phone, you call the client, they tell you what they're you know, needing from you. You make sure that they're in a safe, quiet, peaceful place. You give them Reiki for 45 minutes, and then you call them and see what they felt on their end. And then I didn't tell them what I felt on my end. And a lot of times, it really just connects like, they'll be like, "I felt a tingles on my crown chakra. I felt tingling on my head." And I'll be like, "Yeah, your head is totally where my like, hands like cut the warmest."So yeah, it works, it works distantly works. You know, you know, of course in person, a lot of people like the experience of coming in here and having the aromatherapy. But when we weren't able to do that, distant Reiki works just the same. 

Lesley Logan 27:59  

That's cool. I'm glad that it's possible. I mean, I imagine that and we talked a little bit about on Joanna Vargas's podcast, but I imagine that with a pandemic, it really did require some creativity. On (Jeanieva: Yeah) on your end, as much as many other people's um, you know, as we're as we're currently recording this, y'all, it's October. So, or September, it's September still, oops, let's not skip to two more days. But um, you know, we're 20 months into this, and there's been so much that you've probably had to go on a rollercoaster ride with your business and like what you want, and I'm just wondering, like, what you're what you're kind of excited about right now. What you're contemplating? Like, what is your next step with everything?

Jeanieva Faith 28:44  

Well, I am seeing a clients in person, still, but you know, not as many because we are still in a pandemic. And I'm still being careful. I still have children in my world who can't get vaccinated yet. But I am I'm excited. I'm excited to you know, do the classes again, you know, the dance classes and more virtual sessions. And also, I really want to create an online class for, you know, Reiki one, Reiki two and you know, Reiki master, or at least want to start with Reiki one, because I know a lot of clients really want to learn it. And I'm just not ready to spend that much time in an enclosed space with someone (Lesley: Right) which is, okay. So if I can do that, if I can do that online, that would be fantastic. And also create a program for healing through a breakup. So those are the things that I'm working on right now that I'm super excited about.

Lesley Logan 29:38  

That's so cool. That's really so okay, I wanted to talk about the healing through after a breakup because I think I know when I when I broke up with my, my ex before my husband, it was freeing in a lot of ways and I had a lot of friends who like "what is wrong," they're like, they thought I lost my mind. Like, "No, this is I'm great." Like, I don't have a house and I have a car. I'm couchsurfing, the studio I rented closed. But don't worry, I'm like the universe has just taken away what I don't need to take with me. Right? Like, that's how I was. But I also know that that's not normal for a lot of people to see breakups as like a positive. So, when people are struggling with a breakup, what do you see that... How do you see that affect their lives negatively? And like, what is your goal, helping them heal through it?

Jeanieva Faith 30:29  

A lot of times, they're very, it's very shocking, sometimes like, it's, it's very scary. And, and so painful sometimes, you know, like, I've had, I've had experiences like yours, where I'm like, I know that this is a good thing. And then I've had experiences where that have absolutely crushed me to my core. (Lesley: Oh) So you know, usually when people are seeking my help, it's because like, they have been crushed to the core. And sometimes they don't have, you know, there's a lot of well meaning friends and family, they mean, well, but they're not gentle. You know, it's like ... (Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 31:09  

... I love ... I think that is the best way to phrase that. "They mean well, but they're not gentle." (Lesley laughs)

Jeanieva Faith 31:15  

Yeah. "Are you still crying over him? or "He ain't shit." Like, why are you like, you know, like, and which is all true, he might be garbage. But, you know, you're, you're still mourning him. And that's okay. So what I want to create is a safe space to process it. (Lesley: Yeah) You know, feel it until you free it, you don't have to rush yourself to be over it, you know, because he did a bad thing to you, or because she did a bad thing to you. You can feel all your emotions. And I'm that gentle person who will listen to you, and love you through the process. And a lot of times, that's all that somebody really needs. Because, you know, your friends and family don't want to see you hurting. And like I said, they mean well, but they're, you know, saying things like, "Are you still crying about it? Or get over it? Or he's not worth it." Or, you know, things like that. And it puts pressure on the person going through the heartbreak because they're like, "Well, why aren't I over it yet? Why am I still crying about it?" And then they're struggling to move through it when they're not quite ready so it's creating a resistance. And then therefore, the process, the healing process takes longer.

Lesley Logan 32:24  

Yeah, and then that's just so much harder for them to show up in other areas of their life. Because we cannot compartmentalize like ourselves as much as we think we can. You know, it's like, "Oh, I'll just put that emotion over here on my shoulder and I'll show up for work and I'll be awesome, courageous." No, that that shoulder is gonna bother you. (Lesley laughs)

Jeanieva Faith 32:43  

So yeah, (Lesley: ... back to. ) Yeah, I've been I've, you know, long, long time ago, I remember being at work. And I'm like, I have to go to the bathroom and like laying in the fetal position, like on the floor, because I had I had nobody to talk to about it, that would understand it. And you're absolutely right. We cannot ... (Jeanieva laughs) compartmentalize.

Lesley Logan 33:05  

Yeah, it's okay. I struggle with lots of words. (Lesley laughs) That's hard. But yeah, we can't.

Jeanieva Faith 33:12  

Yeah, so, just to have just having a safe place for someone to process their emotions is what I like to be, you know, my tagline is, you know, "A safe space to bare your soul and, and heal your heart and tell your story." Like this is this is the space that I've created is is safe.

Lesley Logan 33:32  

That is so freakin' beautiful. You are amazing. You're like, (Jeanieva: Thank you) it's like a well of like a like amazing transformation. So we can (Jeanieva: Thank you) we can get, we can get our soul toothbrushed and we can (Jeanieva laughs) ... we can learn to dance sexy and show up confidently. And also we can overcome those. It's so we've we've talked about this before on a couple episodes like Tina Tang, and she was talking about her going through divorce. And like what to say and like what not to say and then Danielle Pascente was on and she talked about how like family, you think they're gonna be the most supportive people in your life and they, not on purpose, they're just not. (Lesley laughs) (Jeanieva: Yeah) They're just not. So I think it's really awesome that there are people like you in the world that we can reach and then also people our listeners can reach you from anywhere because you do it virtually. Okay, Jeanieva where can they follow you? Where can they become a master Reiki instructor from you or heal through a breakup, dance with you? What do you got going on?

Jeanieva Faith 34:30  

You can find me on Instagram on @jeanievafaithofficial. And on my website jeanievafaithofficial.com or reikibyjeanieva.com they go to the exact same place. So (Lesley: Perfect) there ... Yeah, there you can book your book your sessions or contact me. All my information is there.

Lesley Logan 34:49  

You're amazing. That will all be in the show notes everyone and please follow her and let her know about this podcast what you took away from it but before then, okay, so we ask everyone. What bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted or targetable (Lesley laughs) (see can't do words) tips you have for prioritizing ourselves? Like, what what do we got from you?

Jeanieva Faith 35:14  

Prioritize yourself? Yes, I think we talked about before that before the show started or is about loving yourself, self love. But that's, that's easier said than done. (Lesley: Yeah) So I think that something that my Reiki teacher told me, um, that I think about often. Oh, I have so many little like, little gems that I use. But what she said was, "I don't give a fuck is where all the magic happens." And I think that encompasses a lot, showing up as yourself authentically is going to get you, the people that you want, the clients that you want, and to the place that you want. Because people can tell like, when you're not being authentic, so to not be afraid to, to live authentically and to show up authentically, because that's where the magic happens.

Lesley Logan 36:05  

Ah, I love that that no one has said you got to like it to not don't give a fuck. So by without without fucks to give or however you, that's amazing. I think that's true, I think because we tend to like, think we got to put ourselves together in a certain way we end up just not being authentic and then we we actually care what people think. But if we let go of that we can actually just show up as our authentic selves and like take it or leave it and that's okay, if you don't want to take this. Yeah. (Jeanieva: Yeah) Jeanieva, this is so fun. It's so great to get to talk with you. And also thank you for answering all of my questions. I really have always wanted to know (Lesley laughs) more about this. Everyone, here's what you need to do. We are this podcast grows because of you and our guests, come on because of how amazing and lovely you are to them by taking a screenshot of this. Post it on Instagram, tag @be_it_pod and also tag @jeanievafaithofficial with your takeaway. What did you take from this? Are you going to use the tips she gave. And how are you going to use it, we want to hear about it. And it also really helps other people find this podcast. So thank you for doing that in advance. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell 37:48  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 37:55  

Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell 38:01  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 38:10  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell 38:21  

And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Back from the Pop-up Pilates tour and their 7,000 mile road trip, Brad and Lesley share highlights and insights from the adventure, plus the benefits of exploring short-term identities. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Life in the tour van
• Celebrating wins
• The sense of loss that leads to loss of identity 
• Giving permission to be something you aren’t good at yet
• Exploration for your next purpose 
• Writing out your brilliant ideas

Episode References/Links:

• AGENCY MINI: Profitablepilates.com/mini
• Thor Challgrens Website: https://www.yourturntofly.com/lesley

OPC Flashcards:

• OPC Flashcards are on Amazon
• OPC Flashcards are on our site

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:01  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world. And the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity. And it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and be it till you see it. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life Brad and I are going to dig into the permissive combo I had with Thor Challgren, in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that episode, feel free to pause us now. Go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. Okay, well, this is our first time recording in the studio again.

Brad Crowell 1:04  

Yeah, we're back in Vegas. And yeah, right there. Yeah, we're back in Vegas. Didn't say yes. Yeah. Vega (Lesley: Yea, No...)

Lesley Logan 1:19  

So we've been back for a bit. We actually got back late on well, not late. We actually made it in time for dinner on the fifth. But this is our first interview recap back in the studio. And so thank you all for following along on the tour. Brad wrote an update to our van up like, what do you call it?

Brad Crowell 1:37  

Well, we've got two things. We've got the van build. (Lesley: Yeah.) And then we had the tour. I haven't actually wrote a blog post about the tour itself. I have written are the third van build, a blog. And that's on onlinepilatesclasses.com/blog. If you feel like reading along, yeah, it's fun. It's a

Lesley Logan 1:58  

It's all about how we're building out the van and what we're not going to do. We are gonna do. Yeah, we got done. So we stayed warm. It was really a lot of fun. The tour was actually a lot of fun. It was

Brad Crowell 2:08  

We drove, are you ready for this? 7000 miles, (Lesley: 7,000) And 106 hours behind the wheel.

And that's also only if you use Google Maps from city to city. That doesn't include the times we got lost, had to make a U-turn.

Yeah. Drove around town because we were there for a day or three. Yeah, you know, so...

Lesley Logan 2:28  

We definitely spent more time behind the wheel than I think. (Brad: Yeah, I mean, it was uhh) I also don't think it counts the hour and a half extra traffic jam that we had to somehow avoid that I never saw in Florida.

Brad Crowell 2:40  

Yeah, we'll give you 108. (Lesley: Thank you) cuz definitely like DC, Richmond. Both of those were just like, the worst. And then. (Lesley: Oh my god. The trip from...) Yeah. Miami from Miami to

Yeah, the trip from your parents to Wilmington, right. For hours, y'all the time never got less. 

Oh, it was the weirdest thing. It was like time stopped. And we're like, we're still driving, right? How come the How come Google Maps hasn't changed our arrival. Like it still says one hour, 51 minutes, we're gonna like ehhh. 

Lesley Logan 3:09  

I like used the time remaining to determine when I get to say I get to switch. So I like it take over and I'm like, Okay, I'm going to half that. And then I'm going to ask to switch over and it wasn't changing. And I was like, this is pissing me off. Because Google is keeping me behind the wheel longer than I should be behind the wheel. I'm upset. But anyways.

Brad Crowell 3:27  

We obviously shared the driving, there's not a chance I could have done 106 hours by myself. (Lesley: Nor I) Generally, Lesley was driving in the morning and I drive in the evening. But anyway, if we got a chance to see you on the tour, just wanted to reiterate how amazing it was to see you in person. We love that the chances that we get to to reconnect with you in real life and you know, give each other hug that is one of our favorite things. Being on the road is something that Lesley and I are both very passionate about. Thanks for coming out.

Lesley Logan 3:58  

Thank you for everyone. Oh my gosh, the time each time we were in at lead classes in Atlanta, Miami, Dallas, ahh it was just so fun. And you you really brightened the trip because

Brad Crowell 4:11  

We would have added Philly to that list, but we didn't actually have the class. So we still love you Philly as well.

I'm just gonna be, here's why. Y'all, I didn't know it until the 18th. But somewhere along the drive, I contracted COVID and I was asymptomatic. So thanks to the vaccine and my booster. Like, my body was like, rocking it. And because somebody reached out and said that they test positive, we got tests, and I'm not even kidding. I'm gonna like paint the picture. We've now gone through like all these states, seen all these people. 

One third of the drive. We're like 2600 miles into the drive right?

We're in Philly. We've been in his parents house for several days now. I was in a car with them for over an hour the night before, we were 

Plus in in the car with me for a week

Lesley Logan 4:56  

For a week. And so then I was like, Oh, we got it. No worries. We'll Just get tested because that's what you do. Like, it's not a big deal, we'll just go get tested. And I was sitting there looking at this test and I and I was like watching it. And I'm not even kidding when the line went on that, like I was positive. I was like, oh my god, this is worse than like watching a pregnancy test. (brad laughs) And of couse and like also in that moment, I just felt like the weight of this like the world because, and maybe anyone who's tested positive, like, every single person we saw I unknowingly exposed to this virus right before the holidays. (Brad: Right.) And so we had to sit there and text, everybody. We're talking people with elderly parents, we're talking our pregnant assistant like I, and luckily it had by the time I found out we had been many days since then. So they literally test and get back to us and, and tell us that they were officially negative. And that was every single negative. 

Brad Crowell 5:50  

At least there was that? Yeah, it was that but it affected our Christmas plans. My grandparents are older, you know, all the things.

Lesley Logan 5:57  

And also, I had exposed everybody. So now everybody's on their new isolation time. So I had to mask up. So we canceled, Philly. We canceled this pop up we were gonna do in New York for business. That was private, a little event. And luckily, it happened at the beginning. And I was asymptomatic. And no one got COVID from from me. So

Brad Crowell 6:16  

Yeah (Lesley: We stayed that way) and technically three days before Christmas, you text you tested negative two days in a row. So you know, I mean, there's we still could have been around the fam, but just out of an abundance of caution. We didn't.

Lesley Logan 6:29  

Yeah, so at any rate, Philly, next time.

Brad Crowell 6:32  

Yeah, we'll be back. Don't worry. I live there. So.

Lesley Logan 6:35  

He's lives there. But anyways, I just say that because if you've tested positive during this time, it I really did feel like I like, like I let people down. And I, I felt like this morality issue. And I just want to say like, if you do all the best that you all the things, you follow all the rules, and you still get it. Like, just like give yourself a break. And like, I focus on what I could do, what I could do is I worked on our flashcards I put a mask on when I was around the family and like, you know, I drink lots of water, and I just gave myself so much permission to sleep. I was like, I should sleep more.

Brad Crowell 7:07  

Yeah, you slept a lot that week. I did. And so even though I mean, you know, you you had a relatively mild case. And that was, you know, fortunate. I mean, I know that you're, you know, vaccinated and boosted. So I think that it's something to do with it. You know, but, you know, it was a shock, because you weren't like showing any signs. So that was very, very strange.

Lesley Logan 7:30  

Yeah. So anyways, Philly, you will have us back, we know it, and then to just to those of you give yours, like focus on the possibilities. And that's what I did do. And it got me through those few days of like being locked in a dungeon. But it wasn't really a dungeon.

Brad Crowell 7:42  

And we lucked out in that. We were about two days before the rush to buy all the COVID tests. Lesley: yeah!) So we were able to buy half dozen tests and like keep them on reserve for the rest of the tour. So we were showing up at those places we could confidently say, we literally just tested before we got out of the car, you know, we're good to go. And that way we could, you know, see people and keep other things. So (Lesley: It was great.) So anyway, wow, that was a, I'm telling you it was such an incredible experience to like I've never done a road trip quite like that. 7000 miles, and we've

Lesley Logan 8:17  

It was our longest longest road trip. That was for sure. 

Brad Crowell 8:20  

Yeah, we went from Vegas up along. I 80. Across the, you know, the states to Philly and then from Philly down to Miami. And then from Miami, up through Dallas and then Albuquerque back to Vegas. 

Lesley Logan 8:35  

Yeah, that Panhandle takes a frickin long time.

Brad Crowell 8:38  

Yeah, we were in Florida forever. It's what it felt like,

Lesley Logan 8:40  

I was like, California is bigger. Why is this taking longer? (Brad: right) Anyways? Okay, really, really quickly. We are. If you're listening to this, when it comes out the days and ability to sign up for agency mini are running out. 

Brad Crowell 8:54  

Limited, very limited. We are going to be starting. This should be

Lesley Logan 8:58  

We start, we start on January 23. And January 22 is the last day to sign up if there is space.

Brad Crowell 9:04  

Right. So that means there's five more days. 

Lesley Logan 9:06  

Yeah, so profitablepilates.com 

Brad Crowell 9:08  

Oh, wait, hold on. Just kidding. There are two more days, two more days.

Lesley Logan 9:11  

Haha. So that's it. That's it two more days. So profitablepilates.com/mini it this is the only time will last time we'll do it until the fall of 2022. And that just means you'd be postponing your goals for a year. I don't know why'd you do that. And on the 30th I am hosting a free webinar that is gonna be really exciting. It's for anyone who's running a business, especially our Pilates folks out there. I really want to help you see how you can actually have your dream schedule, and then also how you can actually make that happen. And we'll be talking about our scheduling tool. So you'll go to profitablepilates.com/scheduling. Okay, well, I mean, let's get into it. But yeah, I think we I think the audience question was what was your favorite part of the tour trip? I feel like...

Brad Crowell 9:56  

We covered that. 

We covered it. So thanks for the question. (Brad: Thanks for the question.)

Send your questions into the Be It pod on Instagram. Or, your bold moments, we do want to shout out (brad: Yeah) your bold moments. So

If you if you had something where you're celebrating a win, and it was a Be It, you know moment for you. We want to hear about it. Share it to us on the on Instagram. Yeah. (Lesley: Okay.) Let's move on, let's talk about Thor Challgren. Okay Thor, like a lot of you. And that's very intentional. Alright, YouTube could see what Lesley's holding up there. If you if you're listening, sorry, you're gonna have to go over to YouTube. Okay, Thor, like a lot of you. And I say you, because this is not applicable to Lesley or me, knows what it's like to have your identity taken away, when your kids leave for college. (Lesley: Yeah) sorry, we're doing we don't have that. But if your kids left for college and your whole life, you've been a parent. And then all sudden, they're they're out of the house. And you know, you got the empty ness thing happening or anything associated with that, then I'm sure you can connect with Thor on this. As a recovering girl, strip Girl Scout troop leader, to a now certified life coach, and podcast host of Your Turn To Fly. Thor helps individuals discover their passion for the next season of their life and give themselves permission to change. 

Lesley Logan 11:25  

Yeah, I know, we don't have kids, we don't understand empty nest. Although, you know, sometimes I wonder if the dogs aren't here if then I'm like it's so nice.

Brad Crowell 11:35  

Well, look, I mean, you know, he talks a lot about the idea of loss, and, and his experience of his oldest daughter going to college, creating a sense of loss for him. And that's, you know, I, because I can't directly relate, but I have a feeling we're gonna experience a sense of loss if and when one of the dogs you know, moves on. (Lesley: Yeah.) So you know, it's definitely relatable.

Someday Gaia will actually be the age we think she is. So I know,

I know her birthday. Now. She's I know how old she is today, finally. 

Lesley Logan 12:10  

All right, well, anyways, I want to talk about something I loved. He said he talked about, he had a lot of things that were just really great. It's kind of hard for me to pick just one thing. But I really loved the giving yourself permission to be something you aren't good at yet. And I say that I love this because a that's why the podcast was even born. But b, this isn't I've had to do a lot like throughout growing our companies, to even being a pod this be this podcast host. Like I really had to give myself permission to like, just do the best that I could. And like, even to the point like, you know, constructive criticism was coming in. I was like, not right now. I'm really focusing on permission that I'm actually good at this and I could do it. Give me let me get some reps under my belt. And then I'll take the feedback. But I think that a lot of times, we get stuck on being in the beginning. And we get frustrated with ourselves and what we're are not able to do yet because we're not good at it yet, that we don't even get to the point to even being it. And I just love the idea of permission like I'm giving myself permission to do the thing to be the thing that I am not actually good at yet. So it couldn't be more Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell 13:19  

I really liked I thought I thought it was incredibly powerful when Thor said "I have to I had to give myself permission to be greater than a father."

Lesley Logan 13:38  

I was that not the most powerful thing? 

Brad Crowell 13:40  

Yeah, and that was very counterintuitive is the wrong word. But I think countercultural maybe. (Lesley: yeah) you know, like we like the epitome of success is being a parent and that's the way that it's being defined that you know, when you're a parent, it's the greatest thing you can do, all that kind of stuff. And I think that our association with that concept is exactly why when his daughter went to college, he experienced a sense of loss. Because if that's the best and greatest and the only thing that he can do with his life is be a stay at home dad. What happens when he's not anymore? Right?

Lesley Logan 14:19  

Right. Well, and that's like so when Thor and I were talking you'll have to excuse August just really going out his neck right there with his foot. But when we when Thor and I were talking when he said that to me, I was like "you have to be on the podcast", like period like end of story because I work with so many moms and and I know that as a non mom saying like "you actually have to come first". "You actually have to focus on the things that you find that fill your cup up too." Because not only are you an like you're a role model for your children, right? But also like at some point they are going to grow up and leave the nest and then what? Right and then what are you doing? So giving yourself that permission is just so key. And I just really loved how he, I loved how he went through it. And he figured this out. And now he's on this mission to help others.

Brad Crowell 15:08  

Yeah, I mean, he talked about like, well, I got, you know, easily 30 years left in my life. So is the best, quote, unquote, best moment of my life, like, gonna be in the past? (Lesley: Right) You know, what is that? What does that mean? And, and I think, I think what's really difficult, too, when looking at this is, you know, we've, we've all seen movies where, like, you know, there's a character in the movie, who's, you know, greatest moment in life was when they were the quarterback in high school, and now they're, like, 40, and they're still talking about that. And it's like, the, that was like, the culmination of success for them. And like, you know, as viewers, we go, yeah, that's a bummer that that's, that's all that guy like, that's, that's he's stuck in that moment. And I think the thing that's difficult is we do exactly the same thing with parenting. Right? You know, yeah.

Lesley Logan 16:02  

Oh, that well, and that's, and like, you just say, like, the culture is like, this is a greatest thing you'll ever do. Is every, the greatest you'll ever do is be a parent and, and as a non parent, I think it's important to want to be a parent and do the best that you can, because those are little humans, that are going to be adults someday. But I also think like, your children seeing that you're doing things that fill your cup first, that take care of you, that you aspire to be, it gives them permission to do a lot more. It just really does. I saw something on Instagram today, where someone shared a story about how like, their niece and nieces were like, Oh, it's so cool that you have this job. I am not able to do that, because I'm gonna grow up to be a mom. And she took her aside and was like, "Hey, let me just tell you, that you actually can be both things." (Brad: Right.) And, and so I just, I really enjoyed Thor's like, mission of sharing this, because this that, that, yes, it is so important that if you are a parent that you are like loving all that and doing the things. But that is not all you are, and it can and you can have it you can be the greatest parent and then have another great chapter and another great chapter after that, like we don't just have one great moment in our lives.

Brad Crowell 17:14  

Well, I think that rolls right into my, (Lesley: yeah) you know, one of the action items that I thought was really awesome, was his thought on what comes next after you've, you know, reached the culmination of that self identity. Right. And he talked about the idea of short term identities and mini purposes. You know, because he was like, "Well, yeah, I used to introduce myself, as, you know, oh, yeah, I'm a stay at home dad, you know, I'm full time taking care of the girls." And he said, "Well, it was really hard for me to introduce myself, because I didn't know how I didn't know what to say I didn't know who I was." And he said, so until I began, like, today, Thor works with people who are in the same position as him, right? And he's a life coach. But before that, before he had that, to, and was able to say that, he decided, "I'm going to learn how to cook. And I'm going to introduce myself as a gourmet chef." And he said, I didn't, I didn't plan to have a career in being a chef, you know, as a chef, but I wanted a new identity. And I know, I knew that it wasn't going to be a forever identity. So I thought, Alright, I'm going to give myself permission to be, you know, to create a short term identity. I thought that was really clever. I thought it was in a good way to help like, reorient and dive into some new things, explore some things. 

It also takes the pressure off of finding like the next thing. 

Yes, yeah, that's actually huge. 

Lesley Logan 18:47  

And so he could be a mini purpose as opposed to like, finding my next great adventure and like yeah,

Brad Crowell 18:55  

All right, now that I've sent all the kids off to college, I'm going to found a country what, what's next?

Lesley Logan 19:01  

And I think for so many, like, I think we can also just bringing this back to like, the world we live in now. You know, in 20. In March 2020, a lot of people's identity shifted. Like a lot of people (Brad:Yes) either had to switch careers, or they went from teaching in a studio to teaching online or they went from having a job to not having a job or they went from being a parent whose kids went to school to being a homeschooling parent. (Brad: Yep) So a lot of identity shifting happen there. And I think like having that like having permission to have these identity, like short term identities or mini purposes is like a fun way to dabble in what's next, without having to go well, this is it. This is it. 

Brad Crowell 19:38  

Yeah, yeah, that's true. You know, if you treat it as a short term thing, then you don't have to worry about this like, like this life altering decision. That's like, "oh, shoot. Well, I guess I'm," I mean, it'd be like, just imagine, you got to decide if you want to move to another country. Ya know or something like that or like, you know, we were you know that that is like, oh my god, there's like real huge, crazy ramifications. I'd literally be getting rid all my stuff moving. I'd be figuring all that out. Well, we don't I think that we take that kind of a huge decision. And we apply that to everyday things we do in life. Yeah. And that is obviously overkill. Like it doesn't need to be this momentous decision that we're making, it could be. "I'm going to try this for a month" and make it you know, just test it out and figure out if I'm in, you know, and if you love it, hey, this is cool. It's something worth continuing to explore. If you hate it, no big deal.

Lesley Logan 20:43  

Yeah, you can change your mind everyone, like I like this. We could keep talking about this short because I have so much to say like, it was like when I was dating before I met you, I was like, I am not going to date the type. I always dated him at a date different types of like, think of it like straight jeans and bootcut jeans and low rise jeans and high rise jeans and boyfriend jeans. And like, I was just thinking like, everyone has a type of jean they feel like they fit into but like maybe you should try other jeans. And like once you found those skinny jeans, I found those skinny jeans and they're skinny in their mind, but I love them. So you win. But I also tried those on I didn't like "Oh, I'm gonna date Brad," like we took a long time. So enjoy short term identities play with it you have many purposes. I think that's going to give so many people a lot of permission, which is what he's all about. So okay, well, yeah.

Brad Crowell 21:31  

All right. Well, let's talk about the be it action items that you discuss with Thor. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items, can we take away from your convo. And I know we already talked about giving yourself permission. And specifically about being, quote on quote, greater than a father. And that's a hard thing to embrace. Because of the way we you know, the story we tell ourselves around that. But what I thought was super complimentary. And he kind of said it as like a side note was, "be willing to uncover the places where you might not yet be willing to believe that you can be greater than a father," you know, or, or greater than a parent, whatever.

Lesley Logan 22:19  

It's when he was like talking about the questions he asks himself, right. Like, he's like, he's like, Well, like, why don't I think this is true? Who doesn't think that instead of like, not, he doesn't do as an I? He did, like, who doesn't think I can do this? (Brad:Yeah) Like, yeah, so I be and he went, he's, like, willing to go to those places and uncover what it is that you're not willing to believe. Because it's an exploration, it can really help you give yourself that permission.

Brad Crowell 22:41  

Yeah. And I loved his his idea of like, writing out like, what is the worst that could happen? You know, if, you know, and then he left a line, you know, if blank, you know, did or didn't happen, or whatever, you know, the worst that could happen is I think is the way he phrased it. Yeah, so you know, that there's a lot of inflection in this conversation, like, analyzing of oneself.

Lesley Logan 23:06  

Yeah. And like, just to go like with that all of you are like, Oh, what's the worst that could happen? Like, our friend Lisa Brooks, who we should definitely have on the pod? (Brad: Totally.) She follows that up with and then what? (Brad: And then what?) And then what's going to add that in here? Because until we have our own like, and then what? Like, so if the worst case scenario happens, and then what? Yeah, I really I really liked I also just liked his, his a executable, a suggestion for us all, which is grab pen and paper and just write out the vision. I think a lot of us think put it off to like, "oh, oh, it's a great idea. I'll think about I'll do that next time. Or I'll do that later. Or that's indicative of time." And I shared a personal story about one of the things that we did, and actually, as this episode is out, I already did the first weekend with our members and like, it's just really incredible. So what I challenge you to do, and I really did love that he challenged you to do this is like, taking that messy action. Grabbing a piece of paper and just writing down this brilliant idea that you have and if nothing else, it's out of your brain and it's somewhere you can go back to when and if you have the time. But I think a lot of people don't think that they're creative and a lot of people don't think they have ideas but you do you have them all the time you just bury them away, you shove them off or you say, "I'll think about that later, I don't have time to think about that." But just write it down or, or voice text it to yourself. 

Brad Crowell 24:22  

Yeah. And the reason that he enjoyed writing it down. And this this I thought was the powerful piece of it. Take five minutes and get started was effectively what he's saying. And why? Because he found that it changes the energy that you have around the thing, right? Because again, we treat these things as these massive, crazy things that "oh my god is gonna take a whole year for me to put this thing together," you know, or do this thing or this idea or whatever. And he said if you just take five minutes you start writing things out around it. You may find that suddenly it doesn't seem as intimidating. It's not quite as massive of a project as you imagined it was. You know, this, like fear of getting started. You can like, you know, get over that hurdle in five minutes by just grabbing a pen and paper and beginning to write it down and starting to do it. (Lesley: Yeah.) So I thought that was amazing. Because, you know, definitely I love the idea of writing it down. But why? Why? Because it can help take that fear away. That fear of getting started, it can help you kind of like suddenly sort through the big mountain that we're making it.

Yeah, agreed. He's great. I just really enjoy him. He's just got a love for life and love for people. And yeah, I hope you all take him up on his freebie. It is in the show notes. 

And he's a hell of a voice. I was very soothing.

Lesley Logan 25:51  

I know. I know. I, I, Yourturntofly.com/lesley by the way, it's L E S L E Y. So spell it right. Get on it. Okay. I am Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell 26:02  

And I'm Brad Crowell. 

Lesley Logan 26:03  

Thank you so much for joining us today. How are you going to use these tips in your life we want to know. Tag us, and also Thor, on Instagram with your takeaways. And just know that every time you do that, it's like a little touch. You know, it's like a little love note to us. And we just it makes us go oh, this is why we're doing this. But also it allows me to like personally, thank you. And I'm gonna thank you right now, but I'll thank you in a DM because I really, we really are so freakin grateful. (Brad: Yeah) for you. Yeah, this podcast is just like so growing and thriving because of your downloads every time you listen, it actually makes a most amazing difference. So thank you so much. Please leave a review over at Apple with how much you love us. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. 

Brad Crowell 26:44  

Bye for now. 

Lesley Logan 26:47  

That's all I got for this episode of the beat until you see a podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the beat pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others be until you see it. Have an awesome day. 

'Be It till You See It' is a production up 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell 27:20  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our associate producer is Amanda Frattarelli. 

Lesley Logan 27:31  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing. 

Brad Crowell 27:35  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music and our branding by designer and artist Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 27:44  

Special thanks to our designer Jirah Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell 27:56  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes, so you can find them on our website. And finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

How does giving yourself permission effect your identity? Whether its finding your mini purpose (which may be hosting a elegant dinner party) or discovering the unforeseen questions holding you back from your purpose; Thor Challgren and Lesley debunk the identity crisis that can happen when what you have formed your life around changes. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Accepting the challenges life changes
• Exploring self-examining questions to find hidden beliefs
• Short term identities & mini purposes  
• The blind spots self-judgment creates 
• How to get comfortable saying/doing something different
• Short term identity 
• The Artist Way Morning Pages & The High 5 Habit 
• Giving yourself permission to be something you aren’t good at yet 

Episode References/Links:

• Your Turn to Fly Website
• IG @thorchallgren
• The High Five Habit book
• The Artist Way Morning Pages Book

Guest Bio:

Thor Challgren is a former Hollywood writer, recovering Girl Scout troop leader and high school cheer booster president. He wasn’t exactly a helicopter parent, but he knew how to fly. When his daughter (cruelly!) left for college, he became a certified life coach, and now works with empty nester parents to help them discover passion and purpose in the next season of life.

OPC Flashcards:

• OPC Flashcards are on Amazon
• OPC Flashcards are on our site

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:01  

Hello, Be It listener. What's up? Oh my gosh, like, I can't even believe how fast time is flying and how old this little podcast is. And it's not even little anymore. It's growing because of you. And I'm just so grateful that you're here. Welcome back. We have an interview for you today. We have Thor Challgren. And I mean, I love this person. He's so sweet and special. And I can't wait for you to listen to it because what he says is stuff that is in all of our minds. Like, I think that we're all having conversations with ourselves that no one knows anything about. And his, his way of looking at it, I know is going to shift your perspective and shift the conversation you have. And it's really special. He is definitely the embodiment of being it till you see it. And also, I can't wait for you to hear a lot of his talk about permission. And, I say that because I think a lot of you believe that everyone can be it till they see it. And I think you do about you and then you go to do it. And then and then you and then you don't give yourself that permission. And so anyways, there's a special thing at the end for you to learn more about permission, have some and some extra slips of that for yourself but take some notes. This is a fun conversation. And for my parents out there, I really think you're gonna love this person so much and what he's working on for empty nesters and everyone is really fun. So please make sure you follow him on Instagram at Thor Challgren and check out his link that he's so kindly giving to everyone it's at the end. So you'll have to get all the way there. But I it's gonna go by you're gonna love it. I think you're going to be like, high fiving yourself along the way and going, "Yes, I feel that same way too." And if that's how you are with these podcasts, if you feel like you're having a conversation with the guest or myself, you know, you can let us know. (Lesley laughs) Because it's so fun for people like Thor and myself, (he also the podcast) to hear what comes up for you and how you use these tips. Use the talk use, even if it just makes you go, "Oh yeah, that's me" and helps you not feel like because you're not alone, right? We're all feeling the same way. So we love it because it really does let us know like how what we're doing is helping you and that's why we do this. We ... we trust me I don't like the sound of my voice. So I definitely do this for you. Okay, so I'm going to stop yammering on because I want you to hear a Thor's amazingness after this brief message.

Hey, Be It pod listener, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for being you. Thanks for watching our podcast here on our YouTube channel. I'm just so grateful for you, I have a big favor, and I'm, I mean like, let me just say, "It's not easy for me to ask for help," but I need your help. I'm on a mission, I really want to change as many lives and help people be it till they see it all over the world, and I need your help. We have been so grateful. The amount of downloads our podcast has had in just a short period of time is, it's amazing. That's insane. However, we also need more written reviews. So, and specifically on Apple. So even if you are watching here on YouTube, or you listen on Spotify, or you listen on Google Play, Apple podcast is where everyone looks to see which podcasts they should send people on for interviews. And so we need lots of reviews to be there like a hundred written reviews. So, big huge favor if you could use the link below, go write a review, rate us, give us all the stars you love and let me know. Screenshot it, send it to me on a @be_it_pod. I just want to thank you for the bottom of my heart. We are truly truly can't do this podcast without you. And I'm just so grateful that these words hit your ears. And if you wouldn't mind writing us that review that would be amazing. And, I will be so forever grateful. Thank you and now here's a podcast you wanted to listen to.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Alright, Be It Till You See it peeps. I'm really excited. We have Thor Challgren here and we were connected. I'm not even sure. We'll find out in a second. I don't know if he reached out to me. Or if somebody connected us we're in a mastermind group together. And we got on a call and there's so much alignment. He doesn't believe in perfection. He totally believes in ... what's permission and he also likes to write with a pen, which I want to do. I want to be someone who can write with a pen, I am left handed, and I can't read my own handwriting. (Lesley laughs) But I am really excited, because you guys are going to listen, you're gonna hear so many amazing tips and steps and also for my parents in the listener room, I want you to totally hear his story because I think he kind of stepped into what he's doing now because of taking a kid off to college. So I'm gonna, I'm not gonna spoil alert this anymore. I'm gonna let Thor tell it all. Thor, thank you for being here. Can you tell everyone who you are, where you're from and what you're rocking right now?

Thor Challgren 5:37  

Hey, yeah, thank you, Lesley, it's great to be with you in your audience today. My name is Thor Challgren. I am in the Southern California area. I've lived here most of my life, raised my daughter in this area. And now she's off and doing amazing stuff in the world. And it was that experience a couple of years ago, that led me to sort of move in this direction, because I saw what I experienced as a stay at home parent, essentially. And I knew what I felt. And I thought I can't be the only person that has a hard time dealing with this. And so that kind of led me on the path I'm on now.

Lesley Logan 6:17  

Yeah, so um, so I want to dive into taking your daughter off to college. But what, what did like so you take her off to college, and she's like, "Bye. I'm out living my best life." And you're like, "What do I do now?" So, what what do you do now? (Lesley laughs)

Thor Challgren 6:34  

Well, you know, it's funny, because like, the first thing that that I had no idea this was going to happen this way. Which it's sounds silly to say it, but we were expecting that we're gonna have a whole other day with her. And I remember we were sitting in the student union one afternoon, and I had gone off to the bathroom, I come back and she's like, "Well, I'm going to say goodbye now." And I'm like, "Wait, what? No, like, we're going to go to dinner tonight. And we're going to have all this time together." And so it's just like, the sadness, like, almost right away like that letting go. And so that was kind of my first lesson was, you may, when these things happen, you can't expect when they're going to happen. And so you just have to accept that they will and then start to move on. And my, my moving on process wasn't very elegant at first, like, I was super, like, for the next hour I was like the lowest I've ever been in my life. Like it just so much just sadness and and you know, I mean, it sounds silly to say but feeling of loss, like (Lesley: Yeah) because like that was my identity of being that parent who was like, I was the soccer coach, I started her girl scout troop. I was the cheer booster president. So like, all the activities and things she did. I was there to support her. So when she went off, I'm like, "Well, who am I now?"

Lesley Logan 7:56  

Yeah, like, what's your purpo... like, and without purpose? That's like ... (Thor: Yeah) Right. (Thor: And that's ...) Well, I just say, like they have discovered, right? Like, it's not happiness, we're all searching for its purpose. And, and when you that loss, that's a big loss. That's like, if anyone's listening, it's like the same if you don't have kids, because I mean, I don't but like, it's like losing your job almost. Because like, that was what gave you clarity around, structure around your day. And like, "Okay, this is a goal I'm working on because of that." Is that right? Am I on the right track?

Thor Challgren 8:28  

Oh, 100% yeah, I mean, it's all that identity too. Like, think about like the anytime that you've ever had a big change in your life, like maybe you worked in a job, and then you get laid off or you change the job, then the next time you meet someone, and they go, "Oh, like, what do you do?" Instinctively, you want to say that thing you used to be and then you catch yourself and you go, "Wait, I'm not that anymore." (Lesley: Yeah) And then it starts this loop of like, "Well, then who am I?" (Lesley: Yeah.) So I think that idea of identity is so important that like you have to be congruent about who you are, before you can go out into the world and let that ... that's why I think like the whole, be it before you see it idea so important, because you have to be aware of who am I being? And that's and that starts sometimes with who was I? And now who am I?

Lesley Logan 9:22  

Yeah, so what did you do? So you're that very, you're in a very sad hour, and then like the next step, so how did you figure out who you could be until that happened? Because, I mean, that's like starting from scratch. And I think a lot of people have, like, maybe our listeners are there, but have been there and it's like, okay, we'll all just, you're gonna be there again, like we're all gonna have these shifts and changes and these role changes that are planned or unexpected. And so what did you do next?

Thor Challgren 9:50  

Well, in a word, celebrate.(Lesley: gasps) And, I say that because I'm kidding, but in a sense, not. So we're on this bus going back to this is in Washington, DC. And my wife can see like, I'm so down and she's like, "You know what, let's, let's go to it, there was this bar in Dupont Circle that I'd seen. It was like an Irish pub or something like that." And she said, "You were interested in that place. Let's go there, have a drink and we'll start to change our energy." And so, Lesley, that moment was so key, because it was like, sitting down, having a drink, not that you have to drink, but (Lesley: right) changing your state (Lesley: Yeah) from where you were to where you are now, and then starting to think about what our life could be like and starting that dreaming. And I think that was the key was, you know, I mean, there, yeah, there would be hard days to come. But starting that energy of celebrating, and I think, you know, you said shift, it is a shift of your energy. Because if my energy is in that, like, depressed, sad, woe is me, this is the best thing I'll ever do in my life energy. I'm not going to be able to be available to connect with any of the great things that could be out there for me. So that that first step for us was celebrating, it was going, "Well, what could we do now?" Like, ... start to think about all the great things you could have.

Lesley Logan 11:21  

100% and I, when you said, celebrate, y'all, I swear, I don't script these things before they happen. It's not impossible. I don't even have the time. But I study so much about human behavior. And like, how do we create routines and change our mindset and celebration literally kicks off dopamine, so it changes your state. And so because it's you don't need the drink, you can actually just dance around, you can actually like, you know, high five, someone, you can actually look at yourself in the mirror, "I'm freaking awesome." But celebrating shifts that energy, and it puts you in a state that could see what was possible because you moved into a happier space. And so and I you mentioned earlier, like it wasn't elegant. And I, I just don't think it ever is (Lesley laughs) I don't think I don't think anything's elegant. Even those beautiful weddings that people think, "Oh my God, look how beautiful and elegant it is." There's a lot of hot mess happening in the back of, in the back, you're not seeing. (Lesley laughs)

Thor Challgren 12:17  

Yeah, that's 100% true. And I think anyone who'd seen me, like even that night, even after we celebrated and this is the point, I think, like give yourself grace that it's not going to be perfect. That night, I go back and I'm sitting in the bed in our hotel room, and I just start crying. I can't stop (Lesley: Yeah) like, and I'm not a sad person, by any means. But I think you give yourself that grace and let the feelings come out. But know that you are starting the process of moving on to that energy of what's next for you. 

Lesley Logan 12:50  

Yeah. So when you got home, and you're like, "I can't be the only person who's feeling this way." How did you turn that into something that you do with purpose? Like, what did that end up looking like for you?

Thor Challgren 13:03  

Yeah, I mean, I would say the first step is you have to be okay with maybe I can do something even better than that. And that is a huge, for me, that was a big struggle, because most parents, you know, it's drummed into us in society that like, "Oh, the best thing you'll ever do is be a parent." And maybe that's true but what is does that say if that is true? Like, if you go, you know, I've got 30 years of my life left. And if I truly believe that the best thing I ever did, is in the past, what kind of way to live life is that. So for me it I started to think about permission, I had to give myself permission first to do something greater than just be her father.

Lesley Logan 13:58  

Yeah. So, I gush like, I, because I work with mostly I work with women. But there's a whole, there's a whole ... like, this is my everything. And it's like, "Okay, I don't ever want to take your everything away from your but having been a kid who left college at 18 and never went back home. (Lesley laughs) Can I just suggest that we have another thing that we do?" And so but I love that word permission. And so how did you come up with that word and for yourself? And like how, what does it let you do since you've been giving yourself that? Like, is it one time and then it's over? Or do you give yourself permission more often than that?

Thor Challgren 14:38  

It's all the time. Lesley, it's all the time. Meaning, you know, you we have you know, you talked about the way the brain works in our subconscious. We have all sorts of things that are swirling around in there that are reasons why we can or can't do something and we may not even be aware of them until we consciously choose to explore them. And so for me, it's a constant process of, you know, my my routine is many times in the morning, I'll be journaling, and I'll explore with certain questions, what I think about something, and sometimes it's nothing, you know, I don't get anything, but then there's other times where like, an answer will come to me that will be like, "Oh, wow, like, where did that come from?" Like, you know, I might ask a question, like, "Who doesn't think I can do this?" And I'll come up with like, "Well, my wife doesn't, or my, my late mother wouldn't." And then you explore that, and you start to go, "Oh, like, why is that?" And then in that process, you start to uncover it, those sort of hidden beliefs. And when you bring them out into the open, now you're letting yourself have permission to let them go. And that changes your energy.

Lesley Logan 16:00  

That is interesting. So do you find when people, when you did that. Like, did you find that was a story you're telling yourself that those people didn't think you could? Or is it was it real? Well, it was it made just to be personal on the person?

Thor Challgren 16:14  

You know, I think it's, it's a little of both, I would find that, you know, I would look back and say, "Well, who doesn't think I could do this?" And one of the questions I would ask is, if I don't succeed at this, the reason will be and then fill in the blank. And, and so I'd asked myself and you and you got to be really honest with yourself and go, "If I don't succeed at this, what will be the reason?" And I go like, alright, well, in the past, I tried these things like I had 20 years ago, I had an audio product, where I went out and interviewed people and created little cassette tapes, and that was my business, like, I did the whole thing. And this is before, you know, podcasts or the internet or anything (Lesley: Oh my God, you were podcasting before podcasting.) I know. And, and yet, it didn't succeed, because I was trying to do everything myself. And it I mean, if I'd given it more time, but that's an example for me of something where I didn't succeed. And so by exploring that, and my feelings that I still have about that, I could more easily let go of those. So that I'm giving myself permission that yes, I know, that happened in the past. And I know that I have unresolved things and I don't need to explore it, like in a therapy situation, like, I don't need to know why I just need to know it exists. And now I'm choosing consciously to let go of that energy.

Lesley Logan 17:38  

I really like that because I do think that so many people stop themselves from doing something new, because of something in the past, but they don't actually explore what that thing was. And like, look at it, like a 30,000 foot view, like non personal view, like more as a fact, more as like an experiment, you know, and I know that I definitely was like that, and only until we're owning my own business and realizing that, you know, if you look at it as like an experiment, and not like it's personal, it makes it really easy for you to go, "Okay, I just need to dial the knob and turn the volume up here and turn the volume down here, as opposed to no one liked it. It's because no one likes me. And I'm terrible." (Lesley laughs) Right?

Thor Challgren 18:21  

Yeah. And I think what you said is super critical that you be able to step back and just look at yourself and not have judgment about yourself. And that's the hardest thing for all of us because we all we all want to be great. We want to do great things. And so that passion drives us, but it can also be our undoing in the sense that it creates blind spots. So to be able to step outside of yourself and go, "Well, why does Thor think that?" I know that silly to say it, but like, think of yourself as stepping outside of yourself and ask those questions and then go and not you know, what else you said I loved is the idea of, not giving something any more meaning than it deserves, because we say something mean something. But does it really? Like it only is the meaning we give it so if we choose not to like if I look back at that situation in the past and go, you know, I'm not gonna I'm not going to give it the meaning of "Thor's a failure because that didn't happen." You know, I'm just gonna be like, "Okay, it happened and and what can I learn from it? And how can I move on?"

Lesley Logan 19:30  

Right? Like, it's just another thing. You said something that I liked where you talked about, you said "what Thor feels like, bah, bah, bah. Why is that?" So many people have advice for someone else in their same situation, but not for themselves. And I think by doing what you just did, which is like, saying it out loud as if it's not you. It's just someone else. It really does allow you to take all the information you already know like everyone listening you all have the answer is inside of you, you already know how to be it till you see it, you're telling yourself you don't know. You're telling yourself you can't because of X, Y and Z. But if you if you step outside yourself and you look at it as someone else's life, I bet you'd have all the advices tell them what to do. So, I'm wondering like, as, as you gone through this, and you've been giving yourself this permission, and what has, like, what is it allowed you to do? Because how many how long has she been in college? She graduating this year, is she second year?

Thor Challgren 20:29  

She's in her, she's in her final year.

Lesley Logan 20:30  

Oh my gosh. Okay. So in these four years of giving yourself (Thor: Yup) permission to create something greater. What have you been able to play with? What have you been creating?

Thor Challgren 20:42  

One of the things that I did was I started exploring that idea of identity. And I mentioned before that, you know, people would say, I met people, and they'd say, well, you know, "Hey, what do you do?" And I, I would stop myself, because I couldn't say, "I'm a stay at home parent anymore." (Thor laughs) So then I'm like, "What do I do?" And so I started thinking about, like, what we say about ourselves. And what that led me to was, I think, till you know, what your greater purpose is, it's okay to have, like a mini purpose, a short term purpose, where you go, and this is like, what I'm doing right now, is I decided for these next couple of months, I'm going to host a series of dinner parties, where I'm going to learn how to cook some amazing dish, you know, like, go to like a Julia Child's cookbook or something like that. And, I'm going to invite over some people, and we're going to have a an elegant dinner party so that I would be able to the way that I think of it is now I could say if I met someone, I could say, "Well, I'm I'm a gourmet cook," because that was something that, like we always said about my mom, my family was "She was an amazing cook." And so if you ever looked at her, you'd say, "Oh, she's a gourmet cook." So, I think that is I've had like a series of little things like that, where I go, it's a short term identity. And what's key for me is, it doesn't have to be the rest of my life identity. And that's where I think a lot of us get stuck, is we go, you know, maybe if we're leaving a job, or we're leaving a relationship or in my case, you know, empty nest situation, we go, "Well, I've got to figure out the whole rest of my life right now." Like, if I'm gonna have one purpose for the rest of my life, and I got to figure it out now. And so we put so much pressure on ourselves, that it becomes debilitating, and you don't even know where to start. So, I think like (Lesley: I'm obsessed with this) ... start with two months.

Lesley Logan 22:41  

Yeah, I'm obsessed with this because I also ... we would never, right? I mean, like, as, um, I don't know, if I was one of the last groups where like, like, "You have to know what you want to do." And I think kids today their like, "major in whatever, because it's probably not going to be around when you're adults and working." But like, we would never tell a kid anymore like, "Whatever you major in, that's it, you better pick the best major because you could never change," we would never do that. But for whatever reason, at some point, we get older, we're like, "Welp, I gotta figure out my next thing," because it's gonna be the only thing and there's so much pressure. And I love that that mini purpose allows you to explore, it allows you to take messy action, because it's okay if it's wrong, because it's so many. It's a to use a two months, I think that's, I think that's fun. I like that it's more than 30 days, because I think you need to, I think something has to percolate a little longer. So you can, like, see what kind of comes up in different seasons. But that's fun. I mean, what a way to be it till you see, you could just, I'm just gonna be it for two months, I'm just gonna (Lesley laughs)

Thor Challgren 23:38  

And you take the pressure off, because and what I I sort of the rules that I set for myself were that it had to be fun. So it can't be like, "I'm gonna clean out my garage in the next two months, or I'm gonna paint the house," it's got to be something fun, or something that energizes you. One of the ones that I did that was just sort of fun for me was I remembered like growing up, we had like Legos. And back in those days, like Legos were just, you didn't have a kit with whatever you build. It was just all sorts of blocks. (Lesley: Yeah.) So, I thought it would be fun to like get a Lego kit and build a Lego kit and just have that be something that I do over you know, in my spare time over a couple months.

Lesley Logan 24:21  

I mean, they're those kits now like 1000 pieces like that could take you (Thor: It's insane), you could literally go, "Oh, well, I create Legos, kit sets." It's like, (Thor: Yeah) I like that you you're soft with identity because I do think that people need to have something to practice to say and so it is because it's not like you say, "I'm a retired stay at home parent " It's like what does that mean? (Lesley and Thor laughs) You know, but I but I hear that all the time because sometimes I hear in a different way. Like, I don't want to just be, enter the job that they have. And, and I unders... I mean like I I remember, you know, I was a, only a Pilates instructor for a long time, I worked for myself but also worked for another company. So, I'd say, "Oh, I'm a Pilates instructor" which is also very interesting people like, "What is that?" Like, "Oh, I've heard about it, but what do you what do you do?" And now, you know, that doesn't even encompass everything that I do. Like I couldn't. So, I also I can't list off everything that I do, because that's weird. So, I had to like kind of make up. Like, what it is that I say, and it should take some time and like, what would you say to someone who's like, maybe they don't, maybe they're on their way to changing what they are? But maybe they can't say that yet or they don't feel comfortable? And how did you get comfortable saying something different? Did you practice it? Did you put yourself in situations to say it, but was it?

Thor Challgren 25:43  

Yeah, I think it's, it's a great question. And I think the answer is that it evolves. And I'm constantly finding new tools that help me, the first was examining in the moment, like, again, stepping outside of Thor, and going, "Oh, you know, when that when you answer that question, you didn't feel good about the answer did you? Or you felt self conscious about the answer?" And then to explore that, like, "Why is that?" And and start to ask those questions that maybe aren't totally comfortable. But the answers are, where you're going to grow. Because they're going to help you understand where can you push against the things where you're uncomfortable? Um ...

Lesley Logan 26:21  

Do you, do you write that down that conversation or do you have it in your head? Because we have I know that there's perfectionist listening here. For recovering perfectionist. Gonna want to know how you do this? Do you write it down? Do you have a conversation with yourself?

Thor Challgren 26:35  

You know what, it's, I'll attribute this to Julia Cameron, who wrote the, Morning ...

Lesley Logan 26:42  

Oh, Artist's Way Morning Pages.

Thor Challgren 26:43  

Artist's Way. Yeah, (Lesley: Well ...) The Morning Pages. That is the best thing. And I'll say the reason why and this is the part that is super critical that she'll say, because I remember I struggled with this in the beginning, she'll be like, "You have to write three pages and they have to be by hand." And I'm like, "No, I want to type it. I'm faster, I'll get more out." And so but that was never as helpful to me. So, what I do in the page... The Morning Pages is, I'm sitting there going, "Alright, I've got to fill up this page. What I'm going to say now? I don't know what I'm going to say now. Oh, look, I'm stumbling, I have no idea." And I might do that for like half a page where I'm literally just writing gibberish. And then once I've let go of any resistance, guess what happens? The universe, the quantum field, higher power, starts to flow through me. And then the stuff like it happened on Friday where something, I was just the middle of it. I was I had sort of given up on something and not given up in a bad way. But I let go of the resistance of the attachment of I must do it. Suddenly, in the very last paragraph of the third page, the answer came to me. And I wasn't even looking for it. It was just like this thought just popped in my head and was there and then I explored it. And I mean I was so grateful for it but I didn't go into it expecting it. I wasn't like, "I'm going to you know, write here for that purpose." So, I think that's that idea of just writing and being okay with whatever comes out is so helpful.

Lesley Logan 28:19  

Yeah, I we're big fans of morning pages around here. Love them and it's so funny. When my my therapist was like, you know, "We really want you to journal" and I was like, "Okay, yup, I have a journal, don't worry." And then then a week later, I'm like, "So okay, I actually don't know how you journal like, what do you do? I need to know the rules like what am I writing about? Do I answer and question? What am I starting with?" And she's like, "I think you just need to do morning pages." And I'm like, "Oh, I've heard of the book." She's like, "Don't even read it. Here's you're gonna do, your gonna write three pages on legal paper. You're not going to reread them. That's the rule that I want you to follow." And just and I was like, okay, so I wrote like, "Oh, I'm really angry in the morning. I didn't know I was angry the morning. Well, I'm not ... I thought I was a morning person." Right? Talk about identity. But what I'm a morning person I should be happy in the morning? And it's like, "Who said? Who said you can't just be up in the morning and not be happy. And like you go through it." But when I did it the first week, this... and the things that came to me around what I was afraid of, around when I was frustrated by there things that I couldn't even articulate. And like as I mentioned in this episode already, but my listeners know I can't read my handwriting. You don't have to so you could just be in the dark just like writing and it's kind of crazy what comes up so I do I do love that. I think that's a great idea. I love that's what you do. Okay, what are you Thor excited about right now? What are you working on? What are you cooking up?

Thor Challgren 29:42  

I am super excited and this isn't even my stuff. But it's it's made a huge difference to me. Mel Robbins has a new book out now called "The High 5 Habit." And I just started I picked it up because I read her book years ago "The 5 Second Rule." This in "The High 5 Habit" one of the things she has you do is in the morning, you go and look at yourself in the mirror, and you give yourself in the mirror a high five. (Lesley: love it) It's insane. Like it's super simple, but that idea of being comfortable with that is so valuable. And and, you know, what she says is we don't look at ourselves. Like the first thing in the morning, when you see yourself in the mirror, most of us, you know, will be like, "Oh, you know, my hair, I don't have enough of it," or whatever you'd like, look at your face and go, "I don't like it." So your first thoughts are, "I don't like myself." So she's like, "You got to change that energy from the start." So, (Lesley: Oh...) I'm obsessed with giving myself a high five in the mirror without breaking the mirror.

Lesley Logan 30:46  

Right. And she's on. So BJ Fogg from Tiny Habits, who is the person who taught the Instagramers how habits are made, but also the founders. And then also like James Clear from Atomic Habits study with him. So, I got to study with him. It's really cool. And he has this like Maui habit, which is like, as soon as your feet hit the ground, you say, "Today's game is amazing day and you go victory, or I'm amazing, or you celebrate in some way." That's how you create the habit. Right? Once you got the habit in place, you don't have to celebrate anymore. But what she's created is like you look in the mirror and you tell yourself something awesome. And when you high five yourself, there's that dopamine kick. And it literally that's something you can create a habit. And it probably took you probably three days to like make that a thing. (Thor: Yeah) Yeah. (Thor: Yeah) Right? Because the dopamine was there in your brains, like, "I want to high five myself more." And what I love about that is like, I think you're right. I think too often we see ourselves with so much judgment, and then we don't fo, we don't help ourselves enough. Well, we're willing to put ourselves out there to help others so much. And like you're specially, stay home parents are like, let me give, give, give, give, and then eventually you, the person's out of the nest and you you've been practicing giving so much you haven't taken for you. So I think that's really I love that that's what you're doing right now for you. (Lesley laughs) Okay, so you mentioned earlier, I want to go a little bit over permission, because I think this word is so great. And I think it's really key for being it till you see it because you have to actually give yourself permission to be something you're not good at yet. So can you talk a little bit about permission and like what that looks like for you?

Thor Challgren 32:18  

Yeah, it's for me, it's a series of questions that I explore. And sometimes I do it in morning pages, sometimes I'm just aware of the question. It may also be when something comes up, I'll go apply this question. And so it's, you start by asking yourself the question, is it okay, and I went, you know, go back to the idea of, "Is it okay for me to do something greater than being a father?" And that was like a really important moment because if I, if the answer to that was "No, it's not," then everything I try, like, I can go out and be it but I may not see it, because what will happen is I'll self sabotage myself from it happening. So those questions allow me to explore whether or not I truly believe it's okay, whether I'm truly able to give myself permission. You know, why I came up with this idea, because that idea when we're in elementary school, and we want to leave the classroom, we have to ask the teacher for a permission slip, right? (Lesley: Yeah) Like, the the leaving the classroom is freedom and so you have to ask someone else for permission. I think that's essentially what you're doing now is you're asking yourself, "Is it okay if I be this thing or do this thing or have this thing?" And and then be willing to uncover that the places where maybe you don't yet believe it.

Lesley Logan 33:46  

Oh, that's so good. Oh, my gosh. Okay, okay Thor, where can everyone follow you, find you, stalk you and get permission? Could you ... can they how do they can they get these permission slips from you because you have some good ones.

Thor Challgren 33:59  

Absolutely, I would be delighted to share them with your audience, I will put them on a website page. And it's my website, which is yourturntofly.com forward slash Lesley. So your listeners go there, easy to find, download those and, and I be curious, reach out to me on Instagram. I'm at @thorchallgren and let me know how they go for you and how you implement them. Because I'm always interested in how, you know, like the people that I work with, how are they using those tools? And what insights are they discovering, because I just I think that's the part that's amazing about people is when they start to really apply themselves that the things that they find are amazing.

Lesley Logan 34:39  

I agree. Like, I'm obsessed. We, I love when everyone shares their takeaways from the podcast or like, even from my classes, like I'll be reading posts, and I'm like, "Wow, you got all that from that. That's amazing. That's so cool." That's like definitely like I like to be shocked and awed. And then I also like when I'm like, "Yes, that's exactly what I wanted." So it is fun, y'all I mean, we say it all the time, but screenshot this and tag Thor and @be_it_pod and let us know what those permission slips are able to give you so that we can also just celebrate you. Okay, so we asked everyone, best advice, best tips for being it till you see it. So bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted steps that people can take right now. So what do you have for us?

Thor Challgren 35:21  

I'm going to go with executable, and it's something everybody has. And it's these two things, (Lesley: Okay) a pad and a pen. And here's why I say this. So many times when we think about what we want to be, or do, we create in our minds, "Oh, it's got to be this really complicated thing." Like, "I'll do that later when I've got to open up Word, or I got to have that document or I got to talk to that person." And so we delay ourselves from taking action. I found ever since I started doing this, and it sounds stupid, but like, I would just if I knew I had to do something, I would just start it on a piece of paper, and the starting of it, the executing of it begins that process. And now suddenly, that thing that may be in your mind was like, it's this big thing that you go, "Oh, it's gonna...I have to really have time to sit down and do that." No, you just start it, execute it. And you'll find that that's gonna start to change your energy around it. And then I've done that, where I'll be in the middle of something that I thought was only going to be like, a minute. And half an hour later, I'm like, "Oh, my God, this is amazing." Like, and so I a pen and a piece of paper and just execute.

Lesley Logan 36:26  

I love that because there that is taking action and action is the antidote to fear. It's also where it can get clarity. And so sometimes you're like, "Oh, my God, it's gonna take forever." But if you like you said, just start writing it down. You might realize, oh, you know, this, I can actually this is 20 minutes later, like, "Okay, I have the framework. I was putting this like" that, I'm someone who does that, like, "Ah, it's gonna take so much time." And there's just one program that I had been kept putting off, kept putting off and my coach was like, "So look, you are out of excuses on putting this up."And I'm like, "I know, but it's just gonna take so much time." And then I was like, "Okay, I'm gonna give myself five minutes to write it out." In five minutes, I had the framework, I had the purpose. I knew the problem, it solved. And I was like, and I was like, "I had a general idea of how much was going to cost," and I was like, "Oh, well, we're ready to go actually." (Lesley laughs) So, I love that I think that's such a great one of the things I love so much is that I don't think I've ever heard the same Be It action item from (Lesley laughs) of our guests, and their..., and I love when they're free. So thank you so much, Thor for just sharing who you are so vulnerably. And also, I think, the authenticity around it. I don't I can't imagine there's anyone who's like, "No, I don't get that." Like even if you don't have kids, like you know what it's like to have an identity shift. You know what it's like to have a loss or to have a sense of purposelessness. And, I'm excited for your daughter to graduate. I feel (Thor: Thank you) like I feel like you're you're graduating too (Lesley laughs) and, and everyone check out @thorchallgren on Instagram. Definitely hit up the permission slip link, we'll put it in the show notes below. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell 38:35  

It's written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 38:43  

Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell 38:49  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 38:57  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell 39:09  

And the Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

So Brad has started to do handstands when he needs a caffeine boost. Why? In today's episode Lesley and Brad chat about simple things you can do for your health, the definition of success, and where constantly asking questions can lead. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Frequency of pilates
• Deciding what dictates your view of the day 
• Constantly asking questions
• The definition of success 
• Things that honor your health

Episode References/Links:

• Fit Girl Magic Podcast
• Breathe by James Nestor
• The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor
• Brene with Sonya Renee Taylor Podcast

OPC Flashcards:

• OPC Flashcards are on Amazon
• OPC Flashcards are on our site

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:01  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started. 

Cool. Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life Brad and I are going to dig into the magical convo I had with Kim Barnes Jefferson. In our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to go back, listen to that, and then come back and join us here, (Brad: do it.) I really I wanted to call our Kim Jefferson Barnes this whole time and I keep reading it and I guess it's Kim Barnes Jefferson.

Brad Crowell 1:10  

Yeah. Kim Barnes Jefferson. (Lesley: Yeah), I'm pretty sure that's what she how she introduced herself.

Lesley Logan 1:15  

Yeah, I know...(Brad laughs) I know. I'm just over here changing people's names. ...(Brad: You know, tell me roll.) Yeah. So I'm super excited because it is the New Year and we've been working really hard behind the scenes

Brad Crowell 1:27  

It is true...(Lesley: Like, ah, so y'all) Happy New Year.

Lesley Logan 1:31  

Happy New Year. My fitness business owners, teachers, I got something for you. And it's very, we have a webinar where I'm gonna teach you about how to actually create time to do the things in your business, and how that looks like how I actually do it for my schedule, and I'm going to teach you how to do it. Until you can rinse and repeat as often as you need it, you can change it as you want to go. So you're going to want to come to you want to go to profitablepilates.com/scheduling, to sign up for that free webinar. It's going to happen like in a week. So you know, this is your this is your save the date. I'm starting to be like Brad was gonna give you a save the date three days before (Brad: Yeah) ...(Lesley laughs)

Brad Crowell 2:12  

Also, ...if you're watching us on YouTube, you get to see my, my childhood jelly glass. Yeah. Which my parents still keep. And it's now our drinking mugs. And this is from like, 30 years old. (Lesley: Yeah, they don't make glass like that anymore.) Yeah, this is our first time ...(Brad laughs) Like, they don't make glass anymore. Yeah ...(Lesley laughs) This is our first time recording a pod episode not in our home. 

Lesley Logan 2:41  

I know. I hope you like the sound. (Brad: Yeah) We are actually in Brad's teenage bedroom.

Brad Crowell 2:47  

It's a bit weird. Not gonna lie. Yeah,

Lesley Logan 2:49  

It's really small. Is what it is.

Brad Crowell 2:51  

I know. It's hilariously small. (Lesley: Yeah) You know, my parents thought process behind this was, "Well, you're the first one to leave. So you get the smallest room." I was like, "I'm the oldest!"

Lesley Logan 3:00  

That makes no sense to me, you should have had the bigger room for a short period of time and then your next oldest would get it when you move out. And then you would just have a small room to come back to (Brad: I mean, I'm just saying), I just think that like that's, that would be fair.

Brad Crowell 3:16  

That would be... that would make that would have made way more sense to teenage Brad. But you know what, honestly, it was fine. I was happy to have my own room because before this house, I shared a room. So,

Lesley Logan 3:27  

Anyways, if you would like to have help on how to get more things done in your business, go to profitablepilates.com/scheduling. And that is for any amount of years of fitness business. So if you are just starting out as a teacher or a studio owner, or you've been doing it for 30 years, I promise you I'm freaking efficient, (Brad: yeah, free webinar, It's gonna be great) Yep. Okay, what is our audience question, babe.

Brad Crowell 3:51  

Okay, cool. Well, Happy New Year. What's the main thing that people do is they, you know, set a New Year's resolution ... and the question that we actually got was, "How often should you do Pilates?"

Lesley Logan 4:04  

Yeah, I love this question. It's so simple. And it's so not so here's the deal ...(Brad laughs)

Tell us more. Please.

My, my answering non answer is, the more any amount of Pilates is better than no Pilates. (Brad: Hmm) So if my answer deters you from trying it, no, (Brad: no) Because if you go back to tiny habits you want to like to create a new habit or routine you want to do the smallest version possible which may be just leaving your mat out. Like it might just be like putting your mat on the floor so which I know for my perfectionist overachievers out there you just side eyed me and you just went like "that's not true. That's not what she's smoking". I do. And it is totally true. It's a scientific proven. So thing. So here's the deal. Joe supplies expected to do do it like the mat work is designed that you could do it every day. And that is why when on OPC I make them 30 minutes if you want to just press play and set a timer for 15 and leave me hanging. You still got a good workout, you still worked your whole body in those 15 minutes. So you absolutely could do that. But ideally, rule of thumb three to four times a week would be amazing. If all you can do is to then do two and if one is all you got, then give every muscle in your body every ounce of your energy and attention for that one time. But I promise you, it doesn't have to be an hour. 30 minutes is enough. 15 minutes every single day would be enough. And so don't don't set a bar so high. That it's unachievable, which we'll talk about in this podcast. It's so timely this question will meet with Kim and... and if all you can do is five minutes every day, then start with five minutes everyday because here's what I know to be true. When you have energy, you get things done faster, and with more zest, and then all of a sudden time (Brad: enthusiam) Yeah, (Brad: and joy) Yeah and then and then, and then you have more time, because making the bed wasn't this like exhausting thing that your body was like, oh my god, I have to do this right now. You like did it with zest pleasure and joy and it took half the time and then boom, now you can do seven minutes.

Brad Crowell 5:59  

Lots of zest.

Lesley Logan 6:00  

Yeah I love is that fully clean? ...(Brad laughs)

Brad Crowell 6:03  

Amazing. (Lesley: All right) Okay, now let's talk about Kim Barnes Jefferson, an overcomer of the cycles of yo yo dieting and the toxic dieting culture. Kim Barnes Jefferson is an enthusiastic, spunky master coach and founder of fit girl magic society. She now dedicates her life to helping women over 40 understand why their bodies decided to give them the middle finger and find confidence in who they are. (Lesley: I love it) So I think that's hilarious. Because whose body hasn't given them the middle finger when they're hitting this age. I mean, my dad told me it was 38 for him. And it was definitely 38 for me ...(Lesley laughs)

Lesley Logan 6:47  

To start lowering her barrier to entry to, like close to 40 ...(Brad laughs) Yeah, and I also love it because I think so many women do look at their bodies as if it gave them the middle finger. And really, our bodies are just reflections of what we did to them. So... (Brad: That's also true.) I find this to be a really awesome honest conversation. Because you know, so many of us were raised at a time where the tighter, the lower the jeans, the better. And if you didn't fit into those jeans... I like I don't even know you're supposed to do but like they just didn't make jeans for you. Like now, you can go in there's a whole wall of jeans, and you can pick straight, white, boyfriend, you know, curve, like there's so many options (Brad: bell bottom) Right? (Brad: high waisted) but like no. When I was growing up, there's one jean. And if you didn't wear that one, then people made fun of you. And so

Brad Crowell 7:37  

I had access to all of the old style. (Lesley: Yeah) because I would go to the consignment shop and there'd be jeans there from 1973.

Lesley Logan 7:46  

You know there's a story about Brad ...(Brad laughs) that apparently he had a pocket and one of his jeans would fit a Pepsi. Like a whole

Brad Crowell 7:53  

a two liter soda bottle. Yeah, so those are my gencos. (Lesley: Yeah), yeah. And everybody from the 90s knows what those are.

Lesley Logan 7:59  

I'm so glad it was so grateful, easy for you to be a boy growing up in the 90s. It was not that for those of us women approaching 40, or over 40 ...(Brad laughs) We were not given as many options of pockets. 

Brad Crowell 8:09  

I used to put my science book in the back pocket of my jeans.

Lesley Logan 8:14  

I don't know what kind of belt you had to have for that. But anyway, let's get back to Kim. So I just I had to have her on because I know many of our listeners are women, and there's a few men but you've got women in your life. So these are the thoughts that are going through their heads. And also, you know, I think we've talked about before the different guests. But truly, we really do decide how we are how good our day is by getting on a scale. And I knew this girl when I worked at Equinox and she would get on the scale every day. And I heard her say one day, "perfect enough for today." And she (Brad: that's an interesting thought) she had been going through some stuff with her body and she was having a hard time breaking the habit of checking her weight. So she just said that at the end so that she her brain couldn't have another response. So she had the response already. And that was her way of getting over letting the scale tell her if she was a good girl that day, you know, like and I just think that it's so interesting. We could be rocking it at work, we could be feeling great with our families. And then we like eat an extra cookie. And all of a sudden, like we're the worst person in the world. We made a bad judgment. Like what who, like, we just don't, all that stuff keeps us from actually working on the thing we want to work on and doing the thing we want to do. (Brad: it's a trap.) It's a... and you know what, it's the patriarchy they had to do this so that you (Brad: hey I don't get it...) Well. If you're so busy focusing on looking a certain way based on the media, then you're not busy taking over and being powerful and taking over their jobs. This is how it works. People are nodding their head while they're listening.

Brad Crowell 9:50  

Okay, I'm gonna slowly nod my head.

Lesley Logan 9:54  

There's actually a great look, I didn't come up with this, so if you want to listen to an amazing interview, her name is Sonya Renee Taylor. She writes the book, The Body is Not an Apology, and she had a conversation with Brene Brown, St. Brene over on Brene's podcast, and you can listen to Brene on Spotify. So you'll go over there. Look up the interview with Sonya Renee Taylor and Sonya Renee Taylor explains that the ladder is actually super ladder, we're all trying to climb by looking a certain way and all the things it's actually fictional, it's not there, and it's put in place so that we all are so focused on climbing this ladder that we're not actually focused on like why we're climbing to who we are as we climb up this ladder all this stuff and we

Brad Crowell 10:39  

Let me tell you, we will make it easier for you and we will find a link to said pod episode between those two we will put that in the show notes (Lesley: and if you) ...I (Brad stutters) wonder how conspiratorial we should be about that. I feel like it may be just default happened and innately became a thing. (Lesley: Yeah) And then we adopted it societally, as opposed to like someone masterminding how they can. (Lesley: Yeah, I'm sure it wasn't like) manipulate.

Lesley Logan 11:04  

I'm sure there was a genius manipulator in there. But I'm sure there's people who saw "Oh, look what's happening over here". They're so busy, focused on being perfect that they can't do this. So (Brad: yeah), at any rate. I don't feel like I'm a conspiracy theorist. I just feel like it is this thing ...(Lesley stutters) This topic is really important, ladies, because it really is keeping you from all your stuff. I read the comments, I get stuff in my members only group. (Brad: Yeah) I didn't feel good today about this so I just didn't do my I didn't do my workouts. I didn't do this, and this. It's like, oh my gosh, all those things you didn't do it, would have made you feel better. Right, all those things, and then they you would have had more energy to do stuff. And so anyways, I really would listen to that, that conversation with Sonya and Brene because if you are struggling with anything going on with your body, it is such a freeing conversation. But anyways, back to...

Brad Crowell 11:54  

well, what I mean, I know we just kind of went down that whole (Lesley giggles) thought process. But you were circling back around to one thing that you love that she said,

Lesley Logan 12:04  

Oh, well, it was just that question and don't accept things. There ya go. (Brad laughs) (Brad: Hey, yeah) look at how good I am. 

Brad Crowell 12:10  

Ask more questions and don't accept things. Yeah. I mean, yeah. 

Lesley Logan 12:13  

Well, she said at the beginning. So if you one of those was she was talking about how her doctor was just like, Yeah, "this is how old you are, this is what's gonna happen to you", (Brad: right) and you have a member in your family who had a similar situation, the doctor said, Oh, you're just going to gain, you know, three pounds every year. And she's like, every year I'm gonna live at least 10 more years, at least (Brad: right) that's 30 pounds. If I (Brad: What if you live 20 more years) She's totally gonna live 20 more years, the people in her family have lived 30 more years and her age. So like, (Brad: right), that's a lot. You can't sustain that. And she's like, she didn't accepted it. And so

Brad Crowell 12:45  

yeah, 30 years of that right would be 90 pounds. (Lesley: Yea), that's a lot. 

Lesley Logan 12:48  

And so not that she should not, not that she should be focused on her weight loss but it is a health thing. She it's a it's a medical thing that she's on that's causing this and so she's like, I don't accept that. And Kim is just saying, "you don't have to accept if somebody if a medical professional saying this is it for you this all you got?" Like, you know, you don't have to accept that. Ask more question. Questions get curious. I mean, Amy Ledeen is a perfect example, she (Brad: 100%) She has stage four cancer right now. And she is not accepting that like, it's not that she's in denial. It's just that she's like, I don't accept that this means this is the end. I will be here long enough to raise my youngest daughter. So she's getting curious. She's asking questions. She's actually looking for evidence to prove her doctors incorrect. So she's looking for survivors, people who live with stage four cancer for 20 plus years. She's spying them. So anyways, I love that Kim brought this up. I think it is something we should all not be afraid to, like just say, um, is that really all you got? Do you have any other things for me?

Brad Crowell 13:49  

Yeah, I mean, I mean, particularly like, like the doctor saying, like, well just face it. You're old now. So this is happening. It's like, that's pretty weak ...(Brad laughs) I'm just saying like, eerrrk. 

Lesley Logan 14:02  

Yeah, I mean, people are doing some crazy amazing. There are people running 100 meter dashes is at 100 years old.

Brad Crowell 14:07  

I saw that (Lesley: they're super fast) they're Olympics.

Lesley Logan 14:11  

Yeah, I'm impressed. They look stronger than Gaya (Brad laughs)

Brad Crowell 14:16  

Yes, yes, yes (Lesley: Gaya is probaly 100) But very, very impressive. Very impressive.

Lesley Logan 14:20  

Okay, what did you love?

Brad Crowell 14:21  

Okay, so I love really loved that she said, acknowledge the season that you're in, the efforts and the goals that can be accomplished during this season. I know that you know, growing up, it was more like you know, each season of the year kind of a thing and it changed because I was in school and it was the summer and so the summer is like you got more time yourself as opposed to when you gotta buckle down and work because of school whatever. With her, she was talking about her client, her client is an accountant. And during tax season, it's like haywire, right? And she's like, like barely like coming up for air and eatin' microwave pizza because it's quick and fast. And that's the only thing available. And yet she had a goal about, you know, weight loss. And Kim said, Hey, I'm just pointing out here like you don't even have time to call me. How are we going to, you know, focus on this, maybe, maybe we take a breather at the moment. And we set an actual target that's like, you can achieve this during a different point, you know, after tax season, then we can go hit it hard (Lesley: Yeah) during tax season, maybe we maintain.

Lesley Logan 15:30  

Yeah, I loved how she explained how she does that because we talk a lot about this inside of our coaching group, you know, we have a lot of business owners who have kids, and they're like, how do I balance it all? It's like, well, first of all, that's, that's the wrong word to look for. It's like, what season are you in your business, if it is a time when your kids are off school, maybe that's when you slow things down, and you give yourself fewer goals that month, because you're busy spending time with your kids, you're going to resent the time you spend with them, because you're not working on this thing. Or

Brad Crowell 16:00  

That that is like the worst case (Lesley: what) And that happens all the time is like, suddenly you're like, I don't have to be that this damn soccer game, I could be whatever, and it's like, wait a minute, you know, like, like, let's reframe this, obviously, you wanted to be here. But you know, it builds that resentment totally, you don't want to put yourself in that position. So when you reframe your, you know, when you take, take a step back and look at how much you can actually do in a specific season of time or period of time. Maybe your goals shift and change, you know, and you you do you move into maintenance as opposed to like, power through. I know, for me, I've actually felt this mostly in work, not working out, but like mostly in work stuff. Where I'm like, okay, in order for us to hit set goal, you know, two months from now. I gotta hit it hard now, like really have to buckle down, you know, go to sleep early, wake up early, all the kind of things and like, make a shift. And then you know, when we hit that goal, I have the choice to, you know, take a breather for a little bit. And, you know, again, still going to work, still answering emails, but like, there's a difference in that mentality where I'm not just like, hardcore. And you know, when you have to also let up for your own sanity, because you'll eventually burn out if you just keep go, go, go, go go. Right. But, you know, during those times, I've noticed how like, like buckling down at the office, it is harder to maintain my workout or sorry, it's harder to to like, be ambitious about my workout (Lesley: Yeah) But I know how important it is to maintain my workout when I'm buckled down. Because that movement of physical movement actually really helps me perform better anyway.

Lesley Logan 17:52  

Right? So I've noticed that what you do is you come, you just you don't do all three that we go to in the week. You go to two and maybe you don't do all three of your yogas maybe you just do one like it is about it's you know, if we're really honest with ourselves, like and really set up our own expectations for things. It's kind of amazing what you actually can get done. Because wouldn't it be amazing if you got to work on something? And then you weren't feeling shame about not working on something else?

Brad Crowell 18:17  

Yeah, I think it's the same idea ...(Brad stutters) It would be amazing. Yes. (Lesley laughs) ...(Lesley: Wouldn't it be amazing?) If we didn't beat ourselves up? (Lesley: Crickets) Yeah.

Lesley Logan 18:28  

Yea it would. But I think that would be really fun. If we could just go oh, I this is on a simmer. And this thing is boiling.

Brad Crowell 18:38  

Finally, let's talk about the Be It action items that you have with Kim Barnes Jefferson, what Bold, Executable, Intrinsic or Targeted action items can we take away from your convo? And I'm gonna jump right in you were talking about the definition of success. And I think it goes hand in hand with acknowledging the season that you're in. (Lesley: Yeah) But when you are able to redefine the definition of success. Oh, it's like you were talking about with the food and beating yourself up with eating a cookie. (Lesley: Yeah) You know, or whatever. Or, you know, Kim talked about how, when her husband was trying to book her birthday dinner, he was like, I called the restaurant and they can make you some like miserably bland fish and some, you know, just steamed some veggies, right. And I know that, you know, we've been there. (Lesley: We've been there) We've literally been that. But when you redefine your definition of success, you're not going to hang yourself out the dry if you, you know are gonna have that cookie, or whatever that thing is (Lesley: Right, right) You know, and what that seasonality may it's if it's a birthday dinner, maybe you're allowed to enjoy the dinner as opposed to you know, be so strictly holding to your regimen.

Lesley Logan 20:02  

I mean, it's something that I love about every single woman we brought on to talk about the weight, the dieting situation that this world is in. All of them are anti-diet coaches. (Brad: I was thinking about Launa Jae), all of them are anti restriction. Amy Ledeen is anti that, Launa Jae we've had on Amber Shah and Kim Barnes like all of them are this anti-dieting, anti-restriction because ev... like even Amber would say like, when you only eat a whole food diet. Well, that's a restriction. So like yea know so...

Brad Crowell 20:39  

Launa Jae was talking about eating Cheez Its (Lesley: Yeah) she's like, Am I satisfied?

Lesley Logan 20:44  

Yeah. Ask those questions. So I do think I love that you brought up the redefining success and tied it with the seasonality because I think Kim is right here. It's like, first of all, just first, acknowledge where you are right now. And how you're talking to yourself and how it's affecting your life. But then second, it is about like, you know, you're supposed to eat with the seasons, y'all like in the winter, all the food should be warmer, cooked heavier, right? Like, your body will change during that time. Because we're if it's colder, you're not as active as in the summertime. And I know I drink less water in the winter, because I'm not parched all the time. So I think when you just get really clear on what is a good day for you? What is perfect enough for you today?

Brad Crowell 21:26  

Right, that's perfect for (Lesley: Then...) me today,

Lesley Logan 21:28  

Then you get to have a lot more space and grace for yourself. And you have more time to do the thing. Like I love that Kim actually acknowledged that her tax accountant has a job to do. Well, I can't stop working to focus on the school over here. So she was just like, let's get really, really honest about your season. And let's redefine success. Genius. Love it. That's great.

Brad Crowell 21:49  

Yeah, what about you?

Lesley Logan 21:51  

Okay, find three the easy things that each day will make you feel like you're honoring your health. This is so fun, because you can even in a busy season. You know, you can totally just, this is part of defining your success. What are the three things. I have a friend who I heard her say on her podcast, she has a glass of water by her bed that she puts up before she was asleep. And when she wakes up, she sits up and she drinks that whole glass of water.

Brad Crowell 22:16  

I've started doing that. (Lesley: And she's it's it's like a cousin.) I'm pretty sure it's because you told me about your friend.

Lesley Logan 22:22  

Oh, I know. And then And then she's like, if that's all the water I got today at least I got a whole glass of water. Like she's that's her. That's one of her easy things. Does she know she should drink more water? Yes. Is she a proponent of that's all the water you need? No. But she is making it easy for her to be successful at that goal. And it's going to lead to her wanting more. So picked three easy things that are that will that you can do. And the reason they need to be easy is going back to BJ Fogg. If you do them, you'll feel good about yourself. If you feel good about yourself yet. Ya do the thing again.

You'll do it again (Lesley: Yeah, yeah.) Exactly,

So anyways, that's that one I thought was like, oh, anyone could do this right now. Anyone. Don't care if you're over 40. Under 40. Not, not even acknowledging 40. Like 

Brad Crowell 23:06  

whether your body's giving you the middle finger or not?

Lesley Logan 23:08  

Yeah, I think we can all pick three easy things that will make you feel like you're honoring your health.

Brad Crowell 23:14  

Yeah, I'm trying to think about like, what are the easy things that I would could do? (Lesley: I walk the dog, that's easy) Oh, that's an easy one. Because he's got to get walked anyway. (Lesley: Yeah) But obviously, that's a win for the movement, right? You get 1000s of steps on those walks every morning.

Lesley Logan 23:31  

And I also I also make my breakfast each morning. That's not easy for everybody. But it is easy for me. So it's one of my easy things. And I really try to like I toast a waffle. And I and then I put some almond butter on it and some blueberries and I sit down at the dining room table. And that feels like health to me. 

Brad Crowell 23:51  

I was thinking about the the Aura Ring and my use, you know, an easy thing for me to do to honor my health is to open the app and let it sync and actually assess where I am. You know, and how my sleep was. And that's like an easy thing for me to look and go like, did I go to bed early enough last night? Or did I get a you know, why was I Why did I potentially have a restful sleep? Did I have you know, one more beer and I could skip that? (Lesley: asking those questions) Yeah asking, like ...(Lesley laughs) Am I in a place where I feel like ready to go? And this app is telling me like yeah, you're, you're hot. You know, (Lesley: yeah) go get it done. 

Lesley Logan 24:34  

Another easy thing is just to turn your phone over or off or on Do Not Disturb an hour before you go to bed. That's one that's a really easy thing you could do for your health. Yeah, you also I have an app that I check in on for my cycle. That's actually an easy thing. Look at what other easy things can we get people to honor their health?

Brad Crowell 24:51  

I love Okay, cool. So here's something that I've started doing recently. In the middle of the afternoon, and I'm I've noticed this typically when I After I've eaten that my the way my body has always been is that I get lethargic after I eat. Doesn't matter if I eat like healthy or unhealthy. It's just, I kind of slow down and I get that like afternoon like I'm dragon. And instead of getting a coffee, I have started doing a handstand. (Lesley: Oh!) ...(Brad laughs) because I felt like the only reason I'm tired is because my all the blood in my body is going to my stomach to process my meal. So what if I brought some of it back up to my head? (Lesley: I am...)

Lesley Logan 25:35  

I am that's...(Brad laughs) sure someone's gonna tell me that you shouldn't go upside down when you're eating. But no,

Brad Crowell 25:41  

Not, not when I'm eating it's after I've eaten and my body starting to feel slow, so it's usually an hour, (Lesley: actually...) two hours after...(Lesley: this works, It just keeps going) It does. The esophagus can work upside down ...(Lesley: Yeah) but that's clearly not what I'm not eating while (Lesley: I love that. I didn't know you did that) Yeah, I've started doing it in the hallway. You know, just just, I did one today, in fact too, just if I start instead of me feeling like like the afternoon slug (Brad: moans). Now I just go do a handstand. And it's actually incredible because like, it definitely keeps it light. It makes my brain Whoo (Lesley: that's so fun) You know, plus you get a little, little arms.

Lesley Logan 26:16  

You can also take three deep breaths. That's an easy thing you can do for your health three inhales and exhales ...(Brad: Why don't we do that?) the nose? Okay, one ...(Brad Inhale-exhale), two ...(Brad Inhale-exhale) In and out the nose. ...(Brad: you cheated), three ...(Brad Inhale-exhale) ...(Brad: Yeah) don't you feel healthy?

Brad Crowell 26:42  

I feel calm.

Lesley Logan 26:43  

I know ...(Brad: I feel) it's like a so ...(Brad: happier). Like you honored your health right there. (Brad: Yeah), yeah, ...(Brad: that's a win) and you do it enough through your nose y'all because that your nose has nostril hairs for a reason. ...(Brad: Tell me more.) Well, it's to keep you from getting sick. (Brad: Oh, okay) ...(Brad laughs) So there's like tons of studies on like, decreasing hypertension and all this other stuff. So breathing out through your nose even if you have sinus stuff, do the best you can. Your brain will not want you to die. So it'll figure things out. Just read Breathe by James Nestor. You're welcome. That's something you can do to honor your health as well. But it's not easy. It might take some time. Okay, well, that was so fun. I love her. I, you can listen to her on Fit Girl Magic everyone. So check her out if she inspired you. 

Brad Crowell 27:25  

her podcast. (Lesley: Yeah), we'll put that link in the notes too.

Lesley Logan 27:28  

Yeah. I'm Lesley Logan.

Brad Crowell 27:29  

And I'm Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan 27:30  

Thank you so much for joining us today. We are so grateful for you. How are you going to use these tips in your life? Let us know by sending a DM to the pod on Instagram. And we'll catch you on the next episode. 

Brad Crowell 27:41  

Brad: Bye for now

Lesley Logan 27:44  

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day! Be it till you see it as a production of as the crows fly media.

Brad Crowell 28:17  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan 28:28  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell 28:32  

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 28:41  

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Perdoso for editing all video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell 28:53  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

Does food, dieting, working out, or hitting a certain weight captivate your thoughts? Lesley Logan and Kim Barnes Jefferson discuss how to overcome the negative dieting thoughts and trends to create real action towards a healthy mindset and body. 

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Over dieting & yo-yo dieting
• Finding three things that are challenging but doable
• What’s your “carrot?”
• Acknowledging the season your in - and the effort and goals that can be accomplished in the season
• Adult friendships and putting in the effort 
• Your three non negotiable’s 

Episode References/Links:

• Kim’s resources
• IG @kimjeffersoncoach
• Podcast: Fit Girl Magic | Healthy Living for Women over 40 

Guest Bio:

A overcomer of the cycles of yo-yo dieting and the toxic dieting culture, Kim Barnes Jefferson is an enthusiastic, spunky master coach and founder of Fit Girl Magic Society. She now dedicates her life to helping women over 40 understand why their bodies decided to give them the middle-finger and find confidence in their bodies. 

OPC Flashcards:

• OPC Flashcards are on Amazon
• OPC Flashcards are on our site

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox.

Resources

• Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!
• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• Tik Tok
• LinkedIn

Episode Transcript:

Lesley Logan 0:00  

Hey you, welcome back to Be It Till You See It. I'm so happy you're here. I'm so excited for you to hear this conversation between my friend, Kim Barnes Jefferson. She's the podcast host of Fit Girl Magic. And oh, she is amazing. She's so special. And I think she'll have you laughing but I loved our vulnerable, honest conversation. And too often I see people, I see women specifically, not going after what they're here on this planet to do not, not seeing their incredible amazingness because they're so focused on losing 10 pounds, losing 20 pounds, not being an "X- size", you know. And they're like outsourcing their confidence, to a number on a scale, outsourcing their worth and their value. Right? And so what I hope you gather from today's conversation, is that the focus of trying to be something else is, is actually keeping you from sho... shining your amazing light. And there are options. And there are other ways, and there is possibility out there for you. And, and so I hope you enjoy this conversation, I hope that you see, you know, that there that that focusing on and outsourcing your worth to a number on a scale is actually keeping you from being it till you see it. And, and there isn't a magic number. There's no glow moment, as we talked about. That happens when you reach some sort of number. And so anyways, I just believe in you so much. I think you're amazing. I think you have so much value and so much to give this planet. And I don't want you outsourcing that to some random number that you're waiting to be. And then you'll do all those things. And so I've truly can't wait for you to hear Kim's story and Kim's words. And I hope she inspires you the way she inspires me. I hope she makes you laugh, how she makes me laugh. And and let us know how this podcasts have landed with you. Let us know what your takeaways are. I can't wait for you to hear her BE IT options. They're amazing. And I'm just gonna stop yammering right on because you got to hear her words. So thank you for being here. And here's Kim.

Lesley Logan 2:21  

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.

Lesley Logan 3:07  

Hello, BE IT listener what's up, babe? Okay, I got get ready, this conversation is gonna just go off because Kim and I, really it's really random. She actually asked four people to like just send audio messages and a group I'm in about something (can't even tell you what it was.) And I was like, okay, as a stranger, I recorded myself with a tip and sent it to her and end up on her podcast, Fit Girl Magic. (Lesley and Kim laughs) And like that's one way to meet someone. And then we're in the same group but because of travel and times we actually first met in real life in Los Angeles and fast friends from that moment, like just looked at her. I'm like, we just have so much in common and there's so much that we align with so, Kim Barnes Jefferson is here with... I mean, I can't wait. So tell us who you are, Kim. What you're, what you're all about? What you're excited about right now?

Kim Barnes Jefferson 4:00  

So, um, my name is Kim Barnes Jefferson, and I work with women over 40 who feel like their bodies gave them the finger. You know, (Lesley laughs) I, I it happened to me. And I know many women out there, your doctor tells you, "Oh, you know, you're just 40. Like, it's just what..." And I'm like, "No, I'm not going to accept it." So that's really my like, passion, my drive is that I really hate when medical doctors tell you that you just have to accept something. I don't care what it is, like you don't have to accept anything. Always ask more questions.

Lesley Logan 4:31  

Oh my gosh, can you see? I mean already right there. As soon as I heard your tagline, "I help women over 40 who feel like their body's gave them the middle finger." We love bad words around here. (Lesley and Kim laughs) But also, like, I just think that's so amazing. Like, we are taught for some reason to just accept things. (Kim: Hmm) We should just accept things. Oh, well, you know, like, I don't know, I said something ... like, "Well, you're close to 40" and I was like, "I'm not that... I mean, yes I am but I'm also not that close yet." Like, it's not a (Kim: Right) countdown. (Lesley laughs) And then also, aren't we living till 105 now? (Lesley laughs)

Kim Barnes Jefferson 5:09  

I don't get it. Like, I don't know who this person was that says like, "At 40 like your body's supposed to be this way. So like, you just have to accept." And I'm like, "Why?" Like, like you said, you know, my Grandma is a hundred years old. Like, we're living longer. She's got her memory. You got to tell her to not mow her lawn. (Lesley and Kim laughs) She's still really active. And I'm like ...

Lesley Logan 5:32  

Okay, I want to picture of your grandmother mowing her lawn. I really do. I'll frame it.

Kim Barnes Jefferson 5:37  

It's a ser... and she lives in South Carolina. So it's hot as balls there. (Lesley laughs) And she'll be out like at noon mowing her lawn and my my aunt's like, "The love of God. Could you stop."

Lesley Logan 5:47  

Okay, so tell us go back a second. When did you feel like your body gave you the middle finger? And what prompted you to be like, "I'm not accepting this word. I'm taking women with me." So, because I think that a lot... I know that the listeners here a lot of them, late 30s but a lot of in their 40s. And, you know, I think that they're accepting where they're at in their life (Kim: Hmm) or when they're at in their jobs. And you're like, "Nope, that's you don't have to accept anything." So what happened to you? (Lesley laughs)

Kim Barnes Jefferson 6:17  

So I, I was a fitness competitor. And I I yo, I yo, yo-yodieted. I dieted my way into this. And, you know, I lived in a world of restriction, my world was this big with food. And I was always... I was either up 30 pounds or down 30 pounds. And finally my body was like, "Girl, we ain't doing this no more." And so I got to the point, I couldn't diet anymore. I couldn't do any more workouts. I was like, my body is not responding. It's just like, "No girl, we are not doing anything for you anymore." And I was putting on 10 pounds a year for like three years. (Lesley: Wow) And I remember I went to my doctor, and like my doctors, been my doctor since I was 25. And for my whole time with her, she's always like, "You know, you're one of my few patients that like your weight is just, you know, perfect." So I was like, "Perfect. Yay."

Lesley Logan 7:06  

Thank you for my Goldstar. (Lesley laughs)

Kim Barnes Jefferson 7:09  

Right. Exactly. And then I couldn't lose weight. So I went like the first year is like, "Alright, let's just, you know, winter weight." And then the next year, the next year and finally, and I was like ... "You know, Doctor, I'm like, I'm putting on 30 pounds this ain't right?" But like, I'm like, "Is there anything medically wrong with me? Like, is there something I could do?" And she just like, "You know, Kim, you're just over 40 now, and you should just stop eating sandwiches." And I was like, "Bitch ... (Lesley: Oh my God) I'll eat sandwiches ...

Lesley Logan 7:33  

Oh my God. That sandwiches are not the enemy. It's not the sandwich.

Kim Barnes Jefferson 7:39  

... She never even asked me what I eat. Like, if I told her I'm like you know, like hanging out at Dunkin Donuts or eating McDonald's. Then she said, Kim cut out McDonald's, she said cut out sandwiches and I was like, "Okay." I'm like, "Let me just put sit on my hands because I know my husband will not bail me out if I kill this woman today." (Lesley laughs) And that was literally it. I drove home. And I was like, "There's a, there's an answer. I don't know what the answer is but there's an answer." Like, I know that, I know I did this to myself, like I over... overtrained and under dieted. I know that, I know that about myself. But I'm like, "I know there's a way out of it." And so for anyone who's listening, there is a way out of it. One, you gotta be ready. And it ain't gonna be overnight.

Lesley Logan 8:21  

What are some signs though, because in case people are not aware, I think a lot of people just assume diets are the way you do things. And we all just put you on a diet all the time. (Kim: Yeah) And for the record, like, just in case you don't know. And diet doesn't mean bad things doesn't mean you're like restricted eating. It's (Kim: Right) like the regiment of what you eat food, like what you're (Kim: Exactly) eating, what your menu is, right? So because I was, I told my grandpa I was on a gluten and dairy free diet. And he's like, "You're too skinny to be on a diet" and I was like, "Thank you Paps. We're not restricted (Kim: Right) on on the calories we're consuming, but we are restricted on those two items." So how to like, what does, what does it look like when you are when you are over dieting? Like what are the signs and symptoms of that just in case people don't know?

Kim Barnes Jefferson 9:11  

So over dieting is that you know, we all grew up thinking that in order to lose weight, maintain weight, I have to eat less and move more. And so many of us I don't know where this number came from, like I've been researching it, just of like to be able to find the source that if we eat 1200 calories. Right? So we get stuck in I need to eat a certain number of calories because that's gonna keep me safe. (Lesley: Yeah) Or we always feel like I have to be hungry that you know, I have to like sac... sacrifice, suffer in order to lose the weight or maintain my weight. Or you know, like you said, give up gluten, soy, dairy, carbs, like give up, give up, give up, give up. And like you if chose to because it's like for you that makes your body feel good. That's different. (Lesley: Yeah. There's a big difference.) I was scrolling through Instagram and I saw that some influencer that I don't even know. No... you know, no more whatever.

Lesley Logan 10:06  

Yeah, no, it's true. I lived in LA. And so these women would go on this one particular trainers plan who was endorsed by a certain celebrity. And they're like, "Yeah, I'm on this diet, and I do 600 calories a day." And I'm like, "So that actually scares the hell out of me." (Kim: Yeah) And I'm just gonna let you know that as soon as you're not doing 600 calories a day, you're gonna gain so much weight. And you're just like, your body is not because it's used to only having six... like, it's gonna, I don't know, I don't know the science of it, because I don't study that. But like, as women, we were advertised to do this to ourselves. Many of us have been on many restrictive diets. And then we do this for ourselves. And then what happens is, yes, 40 happens and things happen ... But a lot of those things that are happening, right, because we... our body says, "F you, you (Kim: Right) like did damage to me." So what were the signs and symptoms of the damage from restricted dieting, like what does that look like?

Kim Barnes Jefferson 11:07  

Well, you know, it's funny, it's, you know, hindsight is always 20 20. You know, when you're in the thick of it, you're like, "This is awesome." (Lesley laughs) Like, you know, because I was just getting all... I was I was a trainer at the time. So I was getting all the accolades, like, "Oh, you look so good. You look amazing." (Lesley: Yeah) Like, I'm just getting clients because of how I looked. Now, I'm like, "No, I want a client to come to me, because they have reached that point where like, "I don't like how I look anymore."" So what was happening me was like, I was just neurotic. (Kim laughs) I was neurotic about what I ate. I was neurotic about, you know, how many times I went to the gym like my life revolved around my food and my workouts.

Lesley Logan 11:42  

Yeah, I know that. (Lesley laughs)

Kim Barnes Jefferson 11:45  

You know, I, you know, it's funny because I was on another podcast a couple days ago. And I was talking about like, I hate to make this like analogy. But it's the only one that I've found that really works. Is that like, you know how an alcoholic just reaches their rock bottom their point where they're just like, "I cannot take another drink. I just can't." (Lesley: Right) And that was me, I was like, "I can't spend too much more time thinking about eating and exercise. I can't do it anymore." And I'm on the StairMaster and I'm crying. I'm crying on the StairMaster. It's my birthday. And my husband texts me he's like, "Ah, I found a place that can make bland fish and greens for you for for dinner. So you know, get home by 7:30 and we can go out to dinner." And I'm like, "Seriously." My husband had to call a restaurant and tell them how to make my food. And I was like, I at that point, I burst into tears. I was like, "Is this my life?"

Lesley Logan 12:38  

Yeah. (Kim: And ...) I've been there. I understand that I, Oh, my God, I want to cry for you.

Kim Barnes Jefferson 12:43  

Yeah. And I was like, on the number one bus coming home and I'm like, crying and like, "Yes, everyone cries in a public transportation. It's fine." (Lesley and Kim laughs)

Lesley Logan 12:54  

Y'all, she still lives in Boston. So if you're like what my Californians and (Kim: Right) you know other suburbans, like, you ride the bus in Boston, you ride the train like, yeah, so I ...

Kim Barnes Jefferson 13:03  

East coasters. Yeah, we take public transportation. So yeah, I was ... (Lesley: Oh, my God) I was riding the public transportation while I was crying.

Lesley Logan 13:10  

Ah, and so you know, Kim, thank you for sharing this. So I think like, what when I hear stories like that, though, again, I have also been there. We're like, food is like food and exercise are like the number one priority. But we tell ourselves, "Oh, we're being healthy." (Kim: Yeah) "Oh, look at us taking care of ourselves. Look at this self care." But really, if we ask ourselves looking back, because you are your own boss, I am my own boss. How much, how much should we move the needle forward in our business? How much should we reach our dreams?

Kim Barnes Jefferson 13:38  

Well, it's funny, because that was like the beginning of my business. So of course, like, I was like, "Oh, I was like, I gotta like, do this because it's my money. Like, if I don't look like this, then I won't get clients. If I don't get clients and I won't have you know, the luxuries of lights."

Lesley Logan 13:53  

Oh, that's an that's an oh great way to like just really wrap it up with a bow of neuroses. (Lesley laughs)

Kim Barnes Jefferson 13:58  

Oh, my God. I like, I like, I look back and I'm just like, "Why wasn't I institutionalized?" Like all the crazy thoughts that I had in my head. They were wrapped around food and exercise.

Lesley Logan 14:10  

So yeah, so you know, and I mean, I hear that because as a Pilates instructor, I definitely felt like, oh my gosh, especially once we figured out what was wrong with my health, I started gaining weight. I was like, "My clients are going to leave me because I'm gaining weight." And, and the compliments stopped but the truth is, is like, "I look way better now. 20 pounds heavier. My Pilates is so much stronger." There's all these stories we tell ourselves that are (Kim: Right) actually holding us all back. So, so okay, so you had this like rock bottom moment crying on your birthday. What birthday was this? What number?

Kim Barnes Jefferson 14:45  

You know, honestly, I don't even remember what the birthday it was. I just remember it was my birthday. And I just remember like, "Oh my God, like my husband just can't take me out to freakin' dinner.

Lesley Logan 14:52  

Yeah, because I won't because I've made so many rules around what I can eat. (Kim: Yeah and I'm like ...) Yeah, so um, so after that moment, and, you know, like, fast forward, you stop restrictive eating, and you give yourself some freedom. What was that like? It's not, I imagine that's not easy to do. And your body, like has some freak outs with that. So what does that look like?

Kim Barnes Jefferson 15:15  

Yeah, it was scary. It was like, it was literally like diving off. Like, you know, you see this, like, people dive off like a high cliff. Like, that's what it felt like for me. So my first thing was, like, I was like to say to my husband like, "You know, what, we're going anywhere you want for dinner, and I don't care what's on the plate, I'm just gonna eat." And I was like," I'm just gonna eat," and I'm like, "I'm not gonna, I'm gonna do my best to not overeat." And the next morning is like, "I'm not going to the gym tomorrow." And I was like, "I did that." And it was like, I just started doing like, these little experiments, like so many people, even myself included, always think that, like, you have to, like the light switches on or the light switches off. (Lesley: Right. But it's a dimmer) It's a total dimmer, and I'm like, I was like, "Alright, I need to figure out what dim looks like for me." And so I would like play with these little things like, "Okay, can I go out to dinner and tell myself that I'm only going to have two glasses of wine?" Versus it being like, "Ah, just keep the drinks coming and then keep the food coming." Like, could I just go out and like make a decision, like, "This is how the night's gonna happen for me." And like, I'd say, 80% of the time, that's all worked out. I was like, "What? I could decide?" like, I'm not like driven by like, you know, the night like, so many of us get caught up in like, the moment.

Lesley Logan 16:28  

Yeah. And well, what you're saying is what I'm hearing is like, instead of going... you restrict yourself to having none of those things. (Kim: Right) And then there's the other side where it's like, zero control whatsoever. And some people might hear that and go, Well, you only have two that's isn't that restrictive, but you're like, "No, I'm making a decision (Kim: Right) that I'm allowed to have two drinks, should I want them. And that's enough." And like, and then you're like, "Oh, look, I could do that." Like I think ... it's especially people have never been super restrictive. Like they don't realize that like giving yourself permission but with a limit is not restrictive. It's like it's actually like really helpful to making those changes in your (Kim: Right) life happened.

Kim Barnes Jefferson 17:08  

Cuz I was like, you know, I was like a frickin' you know, sailor out on leave. If I told my... if I was like, "Oh, I'm not dieting tonight." And I was just like, "Bring it that on"

Lesley Logan 17:17  

Sailor on leave. (Lesley laughs) On the East Coast, don't y'all have that thing I saw on Sex in the City. When the ... (Kim: Oh, yeah. Fleet week) What they call that? (Kim: Fleet Week) Fleet Week. So you (Kim: Yes) were like, so you either like super restrictive bland fish, they're, you know, calling around (Kim: Or Fleet Week) to fancy restaurants in Boston, or it's Fleet Week. (Lesley laughs)

Kim Barnes Jefferson 17:39  

Yeah. Yeah. That's, that's how I was. And I one ... one of our really good friends. He ran a restaurant here in Boston. And we would I would go there and I'd walk in the door. And he'd be like, "Are you on the wagon, Kim or off the wagon, Kim?" And I would go in there at the door, my craziness. They would like I would literally go to the window and be like, "Alright, this is what I need." And they would make it for me. (Lesley: Wow) And I was like, I don't know if that's like, great. Or the fact that I'm like, so like, I literally used to go there, like, three days a week so ... everyone in the place knew us. So I would be like, "Hey, this is what I'm having for my salad today. Bla bla bla bla bla," and they will make it.

Lesley Logan 18:19  

They were your personal chefs. (Kim: Pretty much) I mean they're, I mean they're providing a service and they want to make you happy because they like you. And I think like what's very interesting, though, is that like, somehow you still had people who loved you around all the (Kim: Yeah) neuroses, but I want to know, like, when you like, figured out your damn switch? What freedoms did you experience in your business and your relationships and your life? Like, what what does that look like? Because now you, you're living with, like, you know, your dim, like, and you can move the needle up and down. So what is how did that happen? Like, what happ... what did you feel? How that happened? What did it let you, what did it allow you to do? Because if your focus is always on, "What I'm eating, and when I'm working out." (Kim: Yeah) like you can't do a lot of other things.

Kim Barnes Jefferson 19:04  

No, I really couldn't. I was barely like, you know, I felt looked back. I was like, "God, how did I like get clients?" Like, my whole ... my whole world is about me. Like how ... like, how did I care about any of my clients. (Lesley: Yeah) Um one of the biggest like, I say, like, my kind of point that I knew I reached my like, like, top of my mountain was I went on vacation for 30 days. Never done that ever. And usually vacations were like, "Woooo." Right? It was like Girls Gone Wild (Lesley laughs) when I'm in vacation. Mine is like the wet t-shirt contest. And I went on vacation and I said, "Okay, I..." and I was going to Australia and I was like, "I don't want to be the ugly American. I'm gonna what can I do so that not always thinking about getting in my workout, food, so forth." So, I gave myself non negotiables and I said, "What feels easy? What can I do but still not feel like "wasn't enough, Kim, you didn't do enough?" And I was like, "Okay, I know I could sleep, sleeps amazing. I know I can get in steps because we're not getting a car, we're walking everywhere we're taking public transportation. And I know that I can eat a big ass salad." Because every place on this planet, you can get a salad, (Lesley: Yeah) and I'm like so... I do those three things every single day, I will feel like I am like, at least not laying down and just like letting the world come out at me. And that was like, the most freeing thing. So I was like, I stepped on the scale one before we left. And then I stepped on the scale, the day we got back. And I only put on two pounds in 30 days. And I (Lesley: On a vacation) was like ... on a vacation (Lesley: without your things) that I didn't, I didn't weigh or measure a damn thing, I just ate by how I felt that I wanted to eat that day. Some days, there were a couple more drinks than I then I had the next day. Some day were no drinks, but I was like, "These are the three things I'm just going to focus on and everything else is just going to fall in to place." And that was like the that was like, my like, "Oh my God, like I can decide. I can choose." And the two pounds was probably, I was on a plane for 15 freakin' hours.

Lesley Logan 21:10  

Right? Right. Right. Right. Right. We don't give ourselves that, "We're so hard on ourselves." So that's incredible. So now, you this is... did you just keep that mindset going? Is that how (Kim: Yeah) live your life?

Kim Barnes Jefferson 21:22  

So now is like, you know, those three non negotiables? Like, that's just like, what it's like, I don't even think about anymore. It's like a habit. It's like, you know, I don't think about that everyday, "I have a salad." I don't think about every day, "I get usually 20,000 steps." And I sleep, you know, minimum seven hours a night. And now of like, "Okay, Kim you've done it for so long." Now it's time for me to like, find another three non negotiable. So it's like, you know, always trying to find three things that are challenging, but doable, right. (Lesley: Yeah) You know, all of us think like, "Oh, I gotta do these 50 hard things." Well, and then you keep failing and then you get pissed at yourself. Like right now, like, my biggest thing is I might my biggest pet peave is that 75 hard thing. It's just like, if you try to do something for 75 days, and you miss one day, you have to go back to the beginning. Like that's not empowering.

Lesley Logan 22:09  

Yeah, I know, I have friends who do that. And I look at it and there's like something that's like, "Wow, that's amazing." But also like, I study habits. (Kim: Right) I study how these things work. I study, studied with the behavioral science, founder of Stanford, who wrote the book, "Tiny Habits." He's the person who trained, James Clear who everyone reads "Atomic Habits." I study with the guy. (Kim: Right) And he says, "We make habits around how things make us feel good." (Kim: Yes.) And, and we we have to stop the perfectionism, we have to stop with the shame and the blame and the things (Kim: Yeah) because as you mentioned earlier, if y'all caught this when she was so obsessed with herself, in her bland fish, and on and off the wagon, and then so she's off the wagon, so she shames exercises, and she shame, what all the things. She's like, "I don't even know how I got clients." And so your a dream, here you are. Now you're the woman, you're the trainer, and you're the speaker who helps women over 40, help their body, like help, how they feel about their body that just gave the middle finger? You, you're like, how did I even do anything before that, because I was so obsessed with this. And so like, I think this is really important to talk about, because we cannot be it till we see it, we cannot do the thing we are here (Kim: No) on this planet to do if we are 100% obsessed with controlling something that actually has nothing to do with it. (Kim: No) Not like, like your what what I, what I just love about all the people I know in the fitness industry is like all of us have different bodies, and all of us have different shapes. And if all of us were in bikinis right now, you may or may not go those are a group of trainers right over there. (Lesley laughs) (Kim: Right. Right) That isn't, that's actually not a reflection of our talent and skill. It's like we're this is our body that we're confidently wearing. And all bodies look different. And when you're obsessed with what you eat, and how much, how many hours and how many calories you burn, you cannot show up for people. So giving yourself this dim switch, giving yourself these non negotiables that are easy for you to accept and do. (Kim: Right) They're challenging, but possible. Tell us about the women whose lives you've been working on? Like what are your... what are your goals on like, how do you help them? What do they come to you for?

Kim Barnes Jefferson 24:21  

So a lot of women but you know, they come to me, and they are in that, they're caught up in the diet culture, you know, they want to lose 10 pounds, or they want to, you know, eat better, healthier. And one of the things I'm always telling them, it's like, "Let's get really clear about what that means for you." (Lesley: Yeah) "Let's get, let's get clear about what season you're in." You know, I have a client, she's an accountant. And from pretty much February through May, like she's heads down like doing people's taxes. And I was like, "Katie, is this a season for you to even think about weight loss or is this the season for you to be like, "What can I do to maintain what I have?" like so that I'm not eating cold pizza out of in the kitchen because they always bring them in food." And I'm like, "What can you do? Like, what can you focus on?" So it's for me, it's a lot of like, having my clients lift their heads up from like all the malarkey that's been, like, thrown at them to be like, "What works for you?" Because like, Lesley, see what works for you, ain't gonna work for me, (Lesley: Right) what works for me, isn't going to work for you. So my my, when I work with clients, it's like, you're an individual. So like, what feels easy? Like, what do you think that one thing right now, if you started doing it, that's going to really open up the door for you. (Lesley: Right) And for many people, you know, like, one of my clients, Laura, she's like, "I know, if my sleep," she's like, "If I got more sleep, I would be up earlier." And she was like, "If I woke up earlier, I would exercise more if I exercise more, I would lose the weight." And she's like, and you know, "If I stopped more, I wouldn't have more cravings." So it's like us kind of unpacking, what's your three non negotiables? And it's not like, I can't give them to you. Well, I can, but I don't want to ...

Lesley Logan 25:52  

Right. You can you can give suggestions. And you can be honest, like if someone's like, "Okay, I can run 10 miles every day. And I can do this," so you can be like, "Okay, so let's actually talk about this, you're in tax season? Do you have an hour and a half everyday to run?" (Kim: Right) No. "So can you go for a walk for 10 minutes every day?" (Kim: Right) "Can you drink X amount of water a day? Can you commit to seven hours of sleep?" Like those like you're saying you're so as a coach, or like, "Let me just call you out because that's a little too much." (Kim: Right) But like, also, you can it they have to be, they have to create them otherwise, it's just another (Kim: Right) thing that they're doing for someone else, really.

Kim Barnes Jefferson 26:29  

Exactly. You know, I think about it, like when I worked in corporate ... you worked, you had a corporate job too. So like, the, you know, head of the company set the goal, then it trickled down to your boss, and then your boss told you what you needed to do in order to help the company hit their goal. (Lesley: Yeah) What do you invested? Did you give a shit about that said "goal" that you were supposed to, like help the company with?

Lesley Logan 26:51  

Only with the commission was good and achievable. And as soon as the goals came in, and they were not possible, I was not invested. I was like, "Nope." (Lesley laughs)

Kim Barnes Jefferson 27:01  

Right. Right. If there was, if there's no money in it for if there's like, I'll be on first person to be hon, to be honest with you. Like, I like money I do. (Lesley laughs) (Lesley: I love money) And in corporate, like if I wasn't getting a bonus attached to it, like, "What's the incentive? I need a carrot." And so I always tell my clients like, "You need that carrot, like what is your why?" And you know, one of my clients, Mandy, her "why" she's like, "My kid is four years old, and I have no frickin' energy." (Lesley: Yeah) So that she's like, "That's my, that's my carrot to keep going."

Lesley Logan 27:32  

I love that. I love that. So you're you you work with them on their seasons. So (Kim: Right) y'all, there are seasons there are and we've had different guests on who've talked about even like, like a season of our cycle, right? There are weeks of a month that you're gonna feel like, "I got this" and there are weeks of the month that you're like, "Please bring a blanket, shade, sunglasses, turn the music down." I don't (Kim: Right) like whatever. But then there's also just seasons every single one of us has a season that we're in not just like that it's you know, fall or summer but it's like actually like this is your busy season like Kim and I we're just talking... And before I start hit record is like we're in very busy season as we record this right now. (Kim: Right) I'm wrapping up three companies for the year in four and a half weeks, and every minute counts. And so is this the season for me to start something new that is hard? No. But can I have ideas and think about things and I kind of make choices on on some things that are doable, but challenging? And then I can like maybe in December, I'm like, you know what I really have been wanting to learn pickleball because everybody here plays pickleball. I can learn that something new on my vacation. (Kim: Right) And then you know, so it's I that's what I hear you saying anyway, so

Kim Barnes Jefferson 28:46  

You... You're 100% right, because it's like so I laugh because like so many people that try to like cram all this stuff into their life and then you feel like a failure because you can't get it all done. But it's like, you know what, but right now with the month of November, it's not the time for me to take on anything new. It's not you, it's not me. It's like this is just I have to honor that I I'm done with being busy. And you know ...

Lesley Logan 29:09  

Oh my God, I love that. I need a shirt, "I'm done with being busy." (Lesley laughs)

Kim Barnes Jefferson 29:14  

Right. Cuz like think about it. You ask anyone the people listening like think about anyone you ask. You're like, "Hi Lesley, how you doing?" Ah, so busy. (Lesley: Yeah) That is like the first response not like, "I'm doing great today like it's a fa... it's sunny out or whatever. Oh, I'm so busy." Like that's become our like, cultural icon like ...

Lesley Logan 29:32  

... badge of honor. It's a badge of honor, "Look how busy I am." (Lesley laughs)

Kim Barnes Jefferson 29:36  

Right. I mean you know, no one's giving you a merit badge. You know, it's kind of like when I finally, I saw my clients and they're like, "I you know, I just I need to go hard." And I'm like, "No one's giving you a merit badge if you dieted hard." I wish there's no Mercedes because if there was a Mercedes for dieting hard, I would have like 10 ...

Lesley Logan 29:53  

Yeah ... You're like, "I did that already. 10 times over. I have yet, do you want my car lot." (Kim: Right) You know what I don't want to just say like, oh my tombstone, "Lesley Logan, she was busy." (Kim: Yeah) Right? Like I am and that's like, you know, one of the reasons why we hire as many people as we have on our team because like, I really am, like, I after we're done talking today, I have my lunch break. It's in the calendar because I do not eat through my lunches anymore. You know, (Kim: Right) because like, that is not serving me. And I think like, what's really cool is that you've lived this, you know what these women have done because you did it to yourself. And (Kim: Yeah) you're like, "Okay, ladies, here we go. This is what we're stopping doing." So, Kim, like, what are what are you, what are you excited about right now? Like, what are you working on being it till you see it right now?

Kim Barnes Jefferson 30:45  

Right now, what I'm really excited about is that, you know, here we are, we spent, I don't know, almost two years in like lockdown, right? You know, many of us have been, you know, kind of restricted in our movement. And so, right now, I'm working on this big retreat that I'm going to be hosting in next April. And it's just, I really want women to like know what it's like to just get together, like you have all of your Pilates retreats, and you know, that like, yes, the ladies come to the Zooms, and it's great. It's fabulous. It's wonderful. But like, there's a different energy when you're in the room, and everyone's like, "Oh, my God, you're so and so. Oh, you're so and so." And it's just like, you've been on this journey for so long together, and you finally get to be meet that person in person. And this this, like, the energy is so different, and the relationships that you build. And so I know, I've missed that during Rona. You know that?

Lesley Logan 31:32  

Oh my God ... I like, I can't even wait as the time of recording this, y'all. Some countries have opened their borders. And I'm just like, I'm like watching like I've had people go, "Hey, can you commit to this? Can you commit to this?" And I'm like, "Nope, I am saving space, because the country I do my retreats in is going to open it's borders. And as soon as it does, like I'm going and like that's my Be It right now." It's like, I'm holding space, (Kim: Right) for these because I miss them. And I know that when people especially when women get together, there is it's unstoppable energy that happens because, (Kim: Yeah) you know, I think, I mean, obviously, there's still energy on Zoom. I was just on a Zoom (Kim: Right) call with 130 people and people were in tears about things are being said, the chat was hot, like the whole, like, we have figured out a way to have that encouragement and energy on a Zoom call, but nothing will ever replace it in person. And (Kim: No) I love that you're like, ma... not just manifesting this, but you're planning it, you're putting it out there and you're telling people like, we got to be together. I think that is just really cool.

Kim Barnes Jefferson 32:34  

Yeah, it's I was having a conversation with a friend. And she's just like, you know, as adults, and we've talked... and Lesley and I've talked about this, like, as adults, like "How many people do we have is like friends?" Right. You know, if you have kids, you might be friendly with their parents of your kids. But like, "Are you like friends?" (Lesley: Right) And you know, as adults, it's just challenging. Like, we all move around. It's really hard to meet people that you just like hook in and you connect with. And so, you know, I've been fortunate that like, you know, Lesley and I met through a mastermind. I've had other women that have met through mastermind and then I'm like, "They're my friends." Like they might not be next door but there are people who I'm like, I could call up and, "Hey, I'm like Bali's opened up, we should all go." And they're like, "You think? What time?" Like ... 

Lesley Logan 33:16  

Yeah. Hold on when are we doing this? (Kim: Right) I know. It's so true. I had this summer, because I made this be it thing that I was like, "I'm going to make myself more available to time with friends." And like sometimes y'all that means like the ... we're recording this the day after I was up till midnight, two nights in a row. Because I had a girlfriend in town that I we get to talk to like once a month, generally. She's also a business owner. I've had her on the pod and and I honestly wanted to go to bed but I was like, "Nope, I make time to be in relationship with my friends." When that's possible. Doesn't mean I could have said "no." But like I said, "I am the woman who makes time for her friends when they come to town." And I had this other friend who, Kareen who's been on the podcast. She's like, "Hey, I'm gonna be in LA on this date. Are you on these dates? Are you gonna be in LA that day?" And I was like, "Oh, I fly to Maui, the next day." Yeah, I'll fly into LA for the day. I literally flew in (Kim: Right) I found it but I went online. The plane tickets were cheap. Y'all, doesn't mean you have to say "yes," but I was like, let me just see if I can afford the plane ticket(Kim: Right) ticket to fly in and out on the same day. And I did because it is so important when you you may not live in the same place as your friends but if you want to have friends you have to, you have to put (Kim: Make the effort) yourself in this even make the effort, it's doesn't just happen. Yeah, yeah. (Kim: Right) Oh my gosh, Kim, I mean, well, obviously could just keep talking. You're really amazing. But I think there's a lot of women who are listening as well like their body's giving middle finger and they want to know more about how you help them. Okay, Kim, how do all these women get to follow you, find you, stalk you, work with you?

Kim Barnes Jefferson 33:52  

I love stalkers. I love stalkers for sure. So you can find me on the socials. I'm Kim Jefferson Coach. So find me there @kimjeffersoncoach on the Gram, as well as on Facebook.

Lesley Logan 35:03  

Amazing! You're amazing. This is so fun. Thank you for having an honest conversation about sharing your life because I think I just think so often like our diets and our way of exercising the way we see ourselves keeps us from Being It Till we See It in so many ways. (Kim: Yeah) It just really does. And we really have to stop thinking that our bodies are the reason we're going to have anything happen for us in this life. Now, they are the vessel that gets us there, but they're not the ticket that opens your door.

Kim Barnes Jefferson 35:32  

Oh, I love that. Because you right, because it's like so many people, like, "When I do X, when this happens?" And then you get to that point. And then you realize, like, you know, I like to use example of Pulp Fiction, you know, that like shiny glow box that like, you know, when you lose 20 pounds, this glow box is gonna happen, you're gonna be like, "Aahhh it's not." Like that ... 

Lesley Logan 35:51  

You're gonna step on the scale and the lights gonna stream down. It's like, "aaahhh" (Kim: Right) (Lesley laughs)

Kim Barnes Jefferson 35:57  

... It's like, angels are gonna fly ... you're gonna lose ...

Lesley Logan 36:01  

And that one's gonna give you the promotion, they're gonna get the keys to your Mercedes. And then all of a sudden, your house is clean. And the food like no, none of that freakin' happens.

Kim Barnes Jefferson 36:10  

... Your kids are behaving like, (Lesley laughs) People have to realize like, "I gotta I gotta be happy now." Like what are the things I could do to be happy now so that what I do lose 20 pounds, "Hey, 20 pounds. Awesome." I can celebrate it. But it's not going to be this. Like you said, "This key is going to open up some magic kingdom."

Lesley Logan 36:27  

Well, and also you'll get to decide if you really need the ... to lose 20 pounds. Like you're just gonna be (Kim: Right) like figure that out. Okay, so before before I forget out of my pure joy and excitement for removing this glow box theory from people's minds. BE IT action items, bold, executable, targeted, intrinsic steps people can take to prioritize themselves and be it till they see it. What do you got for us?

Kim Barnes Jefferson 36:49  

So the biggest thing I always find three things that you can easily do every single day that makes you feel like you're honoring your health. They don't have to be hard. They don't have to be you know, crazy. It could be really something like, "I'm gonna drink a glass of water first thing in the morning." Like it could be something really simple. Second thing is just really ask yourself to find what does success mean like for you? Like don't listen to all the other malarkey BS out there. What does success actually mean for you? And stop collecting information and just start doing shit. Just start getting shit done.

Lesley Logan 37:21  

Yeah. Oh, I love it. I love it. I love you. (Kim: I love you, too) We'll definitely have to have you back my dear friend. And we have to figure out how we can hang out and get our our coffee, travel, loving, husbands, partners in crime, together (Kim: Yes) as well. So we will work that out. Y'all, how are you gonna use these BE IT action items? How do you use this inspiration what Kim has said in your life? Screenshot this episode, tag Kim... @kimjeffersoncoach (Kim: Yep) on Instagram and the @be_it_pod and let us know. And until next time, Be It Till You See It.

Lesley Logan 37:58

That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till Yous See It podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review. And follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcasts. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the @be_it_pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

Lesley Logan 38:26

'Be It Till You See It' is a production of 'As The Crows Fly Media'.

Brad Crowell 38:31  

It's written produced, filmed and recorded by your host Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell. Our Associate Producer is Amanda Frattarelli.

Lesley Logan 38:42  

Kevin Perez at Disenyo handles all of our audio editing.

Brad Crowell 38:46

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan 38:55

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can't see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell 39:07  

And to Angelina Herico for transcribing each of our episodes so you can find them on our website. And, finally to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai