Be It Till You See It

In today's episode, co-host Brad Crowell joins Lesley Logan to talk about our last episode interview with happiness coach, Robert Mack. Rob's wisdom and life-perspective are contagious, encouraging, supportive, and tangible. Join us as we deconstruct the action items that Rob recommended in the last episode, and find out a little bit more about Brad & LL...

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• How "being in the now" can change your happiness completely
• When did LL and Brad start working together?
• Brad had a website building business
• Lesley already knew she was going to marry Brad
• We project managed our wedding
• We forgot ONE THING at our wedding....
• SuicidePreventionLifeline.org
• You don't need to know the whole staircase to take the first step
• How you define yourself, giving yourself a title
• The power of journaling

References/Links:

• Suicide Prevention Lifeline
• Rob Mack's website
• Rob Mack's book, Happiness From the Inside Out: The Art and Science of Fulfillment
• The Artist's Way Morning Pages Journal: A Companion Volume to the Artist's Way

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser and Castbox.

Lesley Logan Resources

• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Follow Lesley on Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Transcription:

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and business fitness coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to out yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

—

Lesley Logan 02:10

Okay, here we go.

Brad Crowell 02:12

Are you excited?

Lesley Logan 02:15

I am! I am so excited. Okay, this is all part of it.

Brad Crowell 02:18

Hi

Lesley Logan 02:19

Leave it in.

Brad Crowell 02:19

We’re leaving it in.

Lesley Logan 02:21

We’re leaving it in. Hello, listeners. Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the profound conversation I have with Robb Mack in our last episode. If you haven’t yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now and go back to listen to that one and then come back and join us. But what you can’t see, everyone, is Brad telling me to slow down.

Brad Crowell 02:43

I’m actually, we are currently already at double time. You don’t need to speed this up.

Lesley Logan 02:49

Well, you actually. So yeah, that’s true. This is a podcast you can bring down to one-point-o. Anyways, thank you, Brad. I’m a fast talker, everyone. And that is one thing you’ll learn about me. So first, Brad, we had an audience question to respond to, didn’t we?

Brad Crowell 03:07

More space. More space. Yes. Yes. Yes. Lesley, we did have an audience question. 

Lesley Logan 03:19

Okay, well, what’s the question? Oh, me.

Brad Crowell 03:23

Oh, me.

Lesley Logan 03:24

All right, everyone, this is real. Just so you know, we leave it all and welcome to working with us, actually, which leads me into this question, which is, right, when did we start working together? We got this question and a DM on the be_it_pod Instagram. And people wanted to know if (the person writing wanted to know) if it was before or after dating.

Brad Crowell 03:45

Before or after what?

Lesley Logan 03:47

Did we start working together before or after we started dating?

Brad Crowell 03:51

Did we start working together before or after we started dating…

Lesley Logan 03:57

Such a complicated question only because the window of us actually dating and not dating was quite long and maybe not a clear line. Then I broke my leg. And then that was after we were officially together. We still weren’t working together though.

Brad Crowell 04:14

Yeah, but I built a website for you right out of the gate.

Lesley Logan 04:17

Right, but right out of the gate we got together because I broke my leg and then you made the website, so we were dating. We were officially dating. You did not build a website for me before you committed.

Brad Crowell 04:27

I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t have happened.

Lesley Logan 04:30

Would never have happened. So even then you go to, so you build a website for me but that was not working with me. That was like showing off.

Brad Crowell 04:39

Um, it was kind of. It was kind of a little bit showing off. I think that’s fair to say. Also, (Lesley: Thank you for watching) also, too, I knew it was something that I could do to win you over even more. So yeah, showing off. But it was something that I was already doing. I was building websites. (Lesley: Yeah) So it was a very, like normal thing for me to build another website.

Lesley Logan 05:17

Yeah. We have dogs, you all may hear a bark in the background, there’s three of them. If you’ve got a dog, we’d love to know what your dog is like. I agree. I think you know, you already had a business in building websites because you were building websites for your band. So it wasn’t like you learned how to build a website. It was something you already did. (Brad: Yeah) And I already knew I was going to marry you. So you building me a website was just a perk. You didn’t know that. But I did. I think it was pretty organic you doing other websites stuff for me, building many websites before we got married, I think. But you and I didn’t actually officially work together.. I think maybe the retreats were when we finally were doing more projects together. It’s really hard. It was everything. This is the cool thing, y’all, we’ll get into it as we talk about Rob’s points, but like everything kind of led after the website then that led to something that led to my try at a membership.

Brad Crowell 06:21

I think the first time we worked together was our wedding.

Lesley Logan 06:24

Oh, you’re right, we project managed the heck out of that wedding. Well Brad did, I just checked things off.

Brad Crowell 06:33

But that was the first time that we, we like, you know, tried to tackle a project as a team.

Hey, yeah, buddy. August. That’s definitely not gonna work.

So, but I think we had a goal. And we essentially broke down the tasks. And we use the project management tool. And we, we fucking nailed it. (Lesley Logan: Oh yeah) It was such a cool wedding.

Lesley Logan 07:06

Y’all, we planned a wedding in four months in LA. And six weeks before the wedding, we even lost the venue. And we still like slayed. There’s only one thing that we messed up at our own wedding. And that was because it was not in the project management tool, which was who was going to bring the wedding license to the wedding. But yeah, I think that was the first actual thing we worked on together.

Brad Crowell 07:31

I think and the thing was, it was actually really easy (Lesley: Yeah), to do that as a team. And so it was very organic when we finally or like tackling work projects as a team, even though, you know, I was kind of treating the stuff, except for the retreats or when you were traveling, like the any of the work stuff until I formally came on full-time, I was treating it like a client, (Lesley: Yeah) We only had a little bit of time, you know? And then eventually I got rid of all those clients. And that was just about when we started working together as a team.

Lesley Logan 08:07

Yeah, no, you’re right. The wedding was definitely where we worked together as a team. And that was the first real step. It also made us realize how good we could do that. So to answer this amazing question of when did we start working together. Was it before or after dating? Was it after dating? It was when we were engaged. I think we got married in 2015.

Brad Crowell 08:29

Yes, we got married in 2015.

Lesley Logan 08:33

That’s fascinating. Anyways, we never kind of remember when we got married, so we’ll get there. Alright, so thank you for that question. You can send in your questions to the be_it_pod on Instagram. So alright, before we get into our next part, we just want to say… you may or you may not know, like maybe you’re sitting there going LL like thank you for the podcast, but I don’t even know how to make time for myself to be it and how to prioritize that. And I really feel like for me, there are times in my life I actually don’t know the answer. Like, I don’t know what I want to do. And the practice of showing up for myself is actually the most helpful way to do that because when you connect more to yourself then you can connect more to your goals to others to anything, right? So I want to offer you all a free class at OnlinePilatesClasses.com slash b e i t so OnlinePilatesClasses.com/beit. Get a free class from me. Take it as many times as you want. Notice how showing up for yourself for 30 minutes, I would love you to multiple times a week, but even once a week allows you to practice prioritizing yourself and your time in your life. All right!

Brad Crowell 09:39

Yeah. Awesome. Why don’t we jump into kind of talking about the last pod’s conversation with Rob Mack that you had. I really enjoyed the interview. If you haven’t had a chance to hear it yet, feel free to pause this now jump back one episode take a listen to the great convo that Rob and Lesley had together. They talked about a whole host of things. But first Rob is an Ivy League educated positive psychology expert. He’s a celebrated happiness coach. He’s also an executive coach and an author. And I found the conversation really, actually, kind of shocking, because he came right out of the gate, talking about suicide. So we’re going to talk just a little bit about suicide here. And we want to also tell you that if you are, have ever considered anything, when it comes to taking your own life, there is help available to you in the United States, and I want to say abroad because they have a 1-800 number, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. And they are saying that we can all help prevent suicide. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you and for your loved ones. and best practices for professionals. They have a 1-800 number that you can call 1-800-273-8255, 1-800-273-8255. They also have chat support right on the site. And you can find that at suicidepreventionlifeline.org. So that said, when Rob was talking about his experience with considering suicide and it was right out of the gate. I was, I didn’t really expect that I had no idea that, you know, as a happiness coach, that, that was something he was, that’s where he was coming from. And well, I mean, you talked to him so…

Lesley Logan 11:57

Yeah, I totally agree with Brad. I mean, it is part of his story. And it is really what made him who he is today. So, I actually appreciate that he so willingly shares that story, because I think it’s a topic that is often, people don’t talk about, you know, and or they avoid talking about or they’re ashamed of it, and he shares it in a way that really makes you realize that it can, it can be anybody and so please use that information should you need it or if a friend does. So our first my I want to go into a takeaway that I had because it’s something that’s really personal to me. In the interview, Rob talks about being okay with just seeing the first step of a staircase and not seeing the whole staircase. So he talks about moving to Miami and only just knowing that, like he’s going to move to Miami and not really what’s gonna happen next. And I love this because it’s such a simple idea. It’s like, Oh, yeah, let’s just be okay with that first step. Just see the first step in a staircase. Take messy action. Y’all, I’m a ‘take messy action’ kind of person. I have been practicing this. Like your mess is your message, everyone. I’ve been practicing messy action and just being okay with the first step. You should know something about me. When we watch The Crown, I will literally Google what happened in real life, just so I can watch the whole Crown, knowing what is going to happen. So for the record, this is not the easiest thing for me that I practice. But I couldn’t agree more with him. I think it’s so important that we don’t get hung up on having to have every step of a staircase planned out to what we’re going to be before we go, like, before we practice being it. And so, I don’t know, I wanted to, I really wanted to bring that home because it is so simple and yet so hard. And people rarely do it. They’re like, Okay, I have to have it all mapped out. And I don’t know if this comes from like an American, like, pretty good High School, did you go to college, then you get this degree, then you did this thing. And like, I did all that stuff. And I never even got a job with the degree that I have. So knowing all the steps of the staircase has yet to help me. And I will say like this podcast, you know, we really had very few of the steps even thought through before we started it. My business, you know, I was blown away, like, okay, we’re gonna do this right now and see what happens.

Brad Crowell 14:14

No, I think also there’s a sense that, you know, you can’t just wing it, right? You’re not, you’re not just like, (Lesley: No) trying to hope it into fruition, you know. There are steps, there are actions, there are, but there is this bigger picture that we are working from. We know where we want to go. Right? We know where the staircase goes to, (Lesley: But we don’t know all the stairs) but we don’t know all the stairs in the staircase, right? (Lesley: Yeah) So I think that as long as you have this bigger picture your vision for what you want for your life, then maybe you can only see two or three stairs ahead at a time and that’s like with goal planning and methodically thinking ahead three, six months, whatever, you know, but you’re still not seeing the grandiose. You’re not seeing the entire staircase and all of the steps.

Lesley Logan 15:11

100%. Thank you. Brad’s always here to summarize my long winded answers. And here’s, I’m working on a course for y’all. I’m really excited about it. This part will be a free course where it’s like, knowing the vision, knowing where the staircase ends up, where the top of the stairs is, and then actually like taking the action of the first step, because that’s where clarity comes through. You got to take the action. So that really resonated with me. And if you find that very difficult, because you really want to know every step in your staircase, I promise you, it’s so freeing to just know the first two, I know where the staircase ends and have fun taking a step and see what happens.

Brad Crowell 15:46

Yeah, I also think that there are very few, even in science, right? There’s very few times in life where you know exactly every step before you’re going to take them. (Lesley: Yeah) Right? You know, you’re exploring, you’re experimenting, you’re trial and error, maybe you take a step up and realize that’s the wrong step. And you take a step back. (Lesley: Yeah.) So you know, I think, I think for the Type A personalities out there, who know that they need to have everything in front of them before they even get started, you’re actually doing yourself a disservice. Because you don’t necessarily know you might get into something and then realize, I hate this.

Lesley Logan 16:38

Oh, yeah. And that’s so cool. Because guess what, like, you can, you can go back down the steps and stuff. Or you can, you can find a new staircase like, or you can, or there’s like, you can wind the staircase to the left, you know, which Rob talks about left turns. And that was really a fun part of the conversation. But anyways, we can talk about staircases for the rest of this episode. But Brad, I really, I really liked your takeaway. So I want to dive into it.

Brad Crowell 17:01

So after listening to the interview, the thing I took away was, I found really interesting is the idea of defining yourself. Right? And giving, you two were talking about giving yourself your own title. At first I was like, Man, that’s kind of silly, you know. Cuz I come from the startup world, right? So when we’re like a startup company of four, and it’s like, well, I’m the CEO, and I’m the CEO, and the CFO, the CTO, and it’s like, we were all four of us are doing all the work. Like, it seems ridiculous to be defining ourselves in that manner. Or, like, I’m sure you’ve gotten a business card from someone and you’re like, right. There, the president of a company of one, like whatever. Right?

Lesley Logan 17:48

I definitely felt that way when I was the CEO of my own company, I was like, this is so lame. I’m the only person in it.

Brad Crowell 17:56

That’s where my head went to immediately. But as you two were talking about it, I thought, you know, maybe defining yourself isn’t necessarily like a job title defining yourself. Instead, it’s a way… it is you. It’s part of your elevator pitch to people, it’s part of how you describe yourself in who you are, and what you are. And I thought, well, this is actually completely tantamount to like success. If you don’t have a definition of yourself, you know, because you are your very first client. Okay, you’re selling yourself first. And, you know, so for example, if you say, Well, I’m just a Pilates teacher. (Lesley: Yeah.) Right? Like, that’s a tragic definition of yourself. “I’m just a Pilates teacher.” Right? Because like you just said, so small, but also you’re setting yourself up – you’ve ceiling-ed yourself.

Lesley Logan 19:03

Yeah. Where on the staircase you can’t climb anywhere. I really love that, Brad. You know, even you know, going back to the CEO, all that stuff. Recently, we changed the titles of ourselves, because we do have a team. That’s more. It’s not just me. (Brad: It’s finally growing.) Yeah. (Brad: Yes) And when we changed it from me being the CEO to you being the CEO, even that definition switch changed how you show up in the business and how I show up in the business. (Brad: Oh, yeah.) And so, but he defined himself as a happiness coach, like, so. I mean, like, just right there, A – I want to know more. And then also, it really does help him filter like what he does, and what he, what he says yes to based on that. And so the definition of yourself is so powerful because it can literally uplift you and expand you or you could box yourself in and make yourself small. So I think I would, I would challenge people. I love the stigma. I would challenge you to tell someone who you are. Tell us, what’s your definition? (Brad: Yeah) I’ll listen.

Brad Crowell 20:08

Yeah. Tell us how you define yourself. And you can just DM the pod on Instagram. But, I found it really fun to think about your new definition of yourself, your new title as it were, which is CPO.

Lesley Logan 20:31

Oh, I know I was like…ooh.

Brad Crowell 20:33

What’s a CPO?

Lesley Logan 20:34

Well, and that’s something I didn’t even know was an existence, y’all there. This is the thing. If you, first of all, if you don’t define yourself, other people are gonna define you. So you may as well come up with your own, just side note. And then, but we were doing this whole thing with our coach one time, and she’s like, “Yeah, Lesley, you are in charge of all the ideas and art. And so you’re the CPO.” I was like, tell me more (Brad: product) I’m the product officer. I’m the Chief Product Officer. So

Brad Crowell 21:03

But that’s, that’s funny, but that’s (Lesley; Oh she’s a Pilates Officer) Yeah, how you define yourself is the Chief Pilates Officer of the company. And that’s funny and fun. And you know, exciting. (Lesley: Yeah), you know, and yes, it still comes with responsibilities. But, you know, it’s obviously our play on words – her CPO, she’s the Chief Pilates officer.

Lesley Logan 21:27

Chief Pilates Officer, Chief Positivity Officer. I mean, it’s a Chief Pod Officer right now. But, but I think, I really think the power of the words you say about yourself matter, because here’s the thing, your brain and your body are listening all the time. So if you go around telling people like Rob is, “I’m a happiness coach” Boom. But you start seeing all the different ways you can coach people on happiness, you can be happy, like you can search for happiness. But if you come lower on talking about yourself, it’s like, oh, I’m, I’m just a trainer, or I’m just, I’m just an assistant or I’m just, you know, working on this. I have a side hustle while I go to school. I’m just a student that word ‘just’ is terrible. And also, you are limiting yourself. And so have I think have fun coming up with your title. (Brad: Yeah.) Isn’t it Tom’s the company where people can make their own job title up?

Brad Crowell 22:27

I want to say it can be tough.

Lesley Logan 22:31

It could be tough. Also, I do know that there are people who at Google, somebody made themself the chief, like the (Brad: Chief Happiness) Chief Happiness. Yeah. Happiness.

Brad Crowell 22:40

He was appointed. (Lesley: Yeah) Yes.

Lesley Logan 22:43

Yeah, Anyways, that’s your homework. Okay. So now in every podcast, I like to ask our guests tips on how you can be it because, y’all, it’s not just about inspiration, like you can get that anywhere, I want you to have transformation, I want you to really, truly like sort of see yourself in the thing that you are wanting to do you want this planet. And so, Rob actually, like went to town, he gave us so many. So you got to listen to all of them. But my favorite was journaling. And here’s why. And we talked about this, I believe in his podcast, which is like, my therapist told me I needed a journal. And just so you know, Brad knows this. I have like 17 beautiful journals. And I don’t write any of them. I buy them. Who, if you’re listening, raise your hand right now but if you’re driving, keep hands on the wheel. Who buys journals, because like their higher self is going to journal someday? That’s me. And I keep them and I don’t write anything in them. And so she’s like, I want you to journal. A week later, when I came back for therapy. She’s like, how’s the journaling going on? I’m like, so I want to actually know what you mean by journaling. Is there a prompt I should be answering? Like, Hello. Recovering overachiever and perfectionist over on this end of the mic. So I do journal every single day. I do what’s called morning pages. And there I’ll talk about it a lot on this podcast because it’s really, truly, it changed my world. You do it first thing in the morning. So I’ve had people tell me Okay, I do it in the afternoon but that’s not morning pages, like, it specifically says morning. And the idea is that you brain dump for three pages on a legal pad and you never read them again. So if you are someone who wants to read your thoughts later on, this is not for you. But if you are someone who is like I hear you to journal, I don’t know how to do it. You can take the LL route which is morning pages all the way. It’s from the book the Artist Way so if you really need to know how it comes down, but I promise you having like getting your thoughts out of your head onto paper really does help clear the mind. Anyways Brad, what was your favorite takeaway?

Brad Crowell 24:39

I? So I love how tangible and physical the idea of journaling is. Mine was a little more esoteric.

Lesley Logan 24:52

That’s good. Everyone’s got a different kind of thing. So for the esoteric here you go, Brad’s got one for you.

Brad Crowell 24:58

Rob said something that I thought was really ridiculous. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought, the more I like it. He said be the happiness that you’re chasing. And I was like, come on, like, How does it even work? Right? Like you can’t just be the happiness that you’re chasing. And then I thought, well, that’s really funny because it’s perfectly applicable to our podcast of being it.

Lesley Logan 25:33

I love it. He just missed that. And it was like, basically what I’m doing.

Brad Crowell 25:35

Right? But I thought, how ridiculous to just do it, just be it, whatever. Right? (Lesley: Just be it) But then he took a second and he quantified it. And he said, he said, You can, you know, the happiest that you’re chasing is obviously that quote unquote, happiness is in front of you. Right? Like, obviously, that’s where you quote unquote, want to be someday, right. And he said, however, if you can be in the now, if you can focus on the present moment. And you can dwell on happiness in the present moment, then you can be the happiness that you are chasing. Right now.

Lesley Logan 26:25

So you have it. That made me think of two things. First, it makes me think of the quote, Be the change you want to see. Second, it makes me think of all that talk about being in the present. And a lot of people are always chasing the dream, chasing the thing. Like, Oh, well, when I lose weight, then I’ll be happy. When I have this job, I’ll be happy. When I have this significant other then I’ll be happy. When I get that new lipstick, it’s gonna change my life. Like, there’s always these, like, there’s always a next thing. And I agree, like, if you can actually be the happiest you wish to be in the future in your present moment. Then you’re not actually chasing anything and instead – not only are you being it until you see it (what, what, thanks, Rob for that) – but I think you’re just gonna end like you’re gonna see all the things around you that are already there supporting you on that journey that you’re gonna go on.

Brad Crowell 27:27

Yeah, I mean, I think that it’s a fascinating idea. And I think that it’s worth exploring in your own life.

Lesley Logan 27:40

I think I’m going to try and do that tomorrow.

Brad Crowell 27:42

Yeah. If you can, like, for example, just sitting here in our new podcast space.

Lesley Logan 27:51

I know, it’s so pretty

Brad Crowell 27:52

Enjoying the vibe that we created in here. And this moment, you know, this this time. Imagine if this was our life moving forward, I would love it. (Lesley: Yeah) It would be amazing. It is amazing,

Lesley Logan 28:11

Right? Instead of us like going, Okay, how long is this gonna take? We gotta order that sushi before they close. Like we’re actually being the happiness, being the thing in the moment. It really does make, I think it also helps you expand time, to be honest.

Brad Crowell 28:26

Yeah, we’re getting metaphysical here.

Lesley Logan 28:29

Well. You know, Brad, I think that’s a great takeaway. And I you know, what I love about you. There’s many things, everyone, and you’ll get to know them. But he is the most curious person. He asked. Like, if something is said in a podcast that he hears not just mine, but like others. And he is like, Huh, I don’t agree with that, or that’s interesting, or how does it even work? He goes down the rabbit hole of researching it and I learn so many things, whereas I may go, No, that’s geez. Like, he puts a question mark on it. And like really goes through it. So it’s really fun to, for that to, for you to be here. Because otherwise we’ll only do the things that are tangible strategic, like, let’s get into it.

Brad Crowell 29:14

I might say that I find that ironic, because usually our roles are very reversed in that sense. (Lesley: Yeah, but) I that I’m the action taker.

Lesley Logan 29:23

Y’all, welcome to being in the Chief Pilates pod officer room. The roles are reversed.

Brad Crowell 29:28

I love it.

Lesley Logan 29:31

Well, anyway, everyone, and anyone listening to this, just favor and let us know what your favorite takeaways of Rob’s podcast interview were. You can screenshot this and post it in your stories and tag us. Also, if you have questions that you want to.. (Brad: Tag Rob, too) Tag Rob Mack, too. And if you have questions that you want us to answer, you can DM the be_it_pod, all that stuff, all the information is in the show notes below. I just want to say thank you so much, and I can’t wait to hear how you use Rob’s tips to change your life and Be It Till You See It and I will see you next time. Thank you.

Brad Crowell 30:06

Cheers.

—

Lesley Logan

That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast!

One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review.

And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts.

Also, make sure to introduce yourself over on IG at be_it_pod on Instagram! I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with who ever you think needs to hear it.

Help us help others to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT. Have an awesome day!

—

Lesley Logan 

‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.

Brad Crowell

It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan

Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell

And to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Please welcome Rob Mack, happiness coach, author and psychology expert, to the Be It Pod! Rob unabashedly told us about his attempt at suicide and how that lead him down the path to study and pursue happiness as he transformed his own life. Today he is a sought-after speaker, host and coach, and he lovingly shares his expertise and action items with all of us in this episode.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you'll learn about:

• This episode discusses suicide.
• Suicide Prevention Lifeline
• they have chat and a 1-800 number
• You don’t need to see the whole staircase, you just need to see the next step
• the mind is usually decisive, rarely decisive. Quiet the mind, come from the heart
• the “left turns” are exactly the turns you’re supposed to take
• defining yourself, creating your own title (you define the story/message)
• “every thought is limited” “the limitless state is without thought” there are some less limiting thoughts than others, vet your thoughts by how they feel rather than how they sound
• “it’s so hard to hear your heart when your mind is so noisy”
• You don’t want to chase temporary things
• knock on that inner door, not the outer doors
• Action items from Rob Mack
• Make happiness the most important goal in your entire life
• recognize that Happiness is inside
• found first thought positive thinking about everything and everybody in your life
• found secondly by not thinking at all, but being it. Be in the moment. Here, right now in the present. You will BE the happiness you are chasing.
• Don’t route your happiness through other people, places and things, instead go to the source for it
• positive thinking
• not thinking
• Journal
• it allows you to “step back from the movie”
• you become a non-judgmental observer/witness
• you can make a different choice when it comes to any of those emotional (scary) thoughts

Reference Materials

• Suicide Prevention Lifeline
• Rob Mack's website
• Rob Mack's book, Happiness From the Inside Out: The Art and Science of Fulfillment
• Richard Carlson's book, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...
• Robert Holden's book, Be Happy!: Release the Power of Happiness in YOU
• Al Franken and Stuart Smalley's book, I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!: Daily Affirmations By Stuart Smalley
• Canva Pro
• The Artist's Way Morning Pages Journal: A Companion Volume to the Artist's Way

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser and Castbox.

Lesley Logan Resources

• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Follow Lesley on Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

About Rob Mack:

Robert is an ivy-league-educated Positive Psychology Expert, Celebrity Happiness Coach, Executive Coach, and Author.

Robert studied under the direction of Martin Seligman, the founder of Positive Psychology, at the University of Pennsylvania (UPenn). UPenn is the only institution in the world to offer a Masters degree in Applied Positive Psychology.

Robert is one of the world's leading experts on the relationship between happiness and success. He helps individuals and organizations achieve an energizing balance of authentic personal happiness and effortless professional success, based on time-tested, face-valid, empirical data and timeless, transcendental wisdom.

Robert's work has been endorsed by Oprah, Vanessa Williams, and many others, and he has been seen on Good Morning America, The Today Show, Access Hollywood, E!, OWN, GQ, Self, Health, Cosmopolitan, and Glamour.

Robert's first book, Happiness from the Inside Out: The Art and Science of Fulfillment, is celebrity-endorsed and critically-acclaimed. It has been translated into various languages, including Chinese.

Transcription:

Hey you! How are you doing? Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank you for pressing play to this podcast today. You could be listening to anything and you chose to listen to this which tells me that you are wanting so much to make yourself the priority in your life and that is awesome. Today's guest is, well, I just can't wait to get into it but his name is Robert Mack and his journey is nothing short of incredible and inspiring, but full of so many tips. Like when Robert and I were talking, he was like, “I like to speak in bullet points.” And I love that. Bullet points means you can do it too. You can take these tips and add them to your life and I'm really really excited. Before I tell you more about this interview and Robert, I do want to let you know that this episode does deal with suicide. And because of that I really wanna make sure it’s important that you know that there are resources out there. If you are someone who is having or you know someone who has suicidal thoughts, you need and you're looking for some support and help with that, please check out suicidepreventionlifeline.org, or call 800-273-8255 or 800-273-8255.

In my fitness business coaching group, I say something. I say it on Instagram daily too it's so important that I repeat it all the time, because it's important for people to hear over and over and over again and I want to share it with you. You're the only person who can do what you do, the way that you do that. So please know that, ok? So when you're making excuses as to why you shouldn't do the thing that you're trying to do and make time for yourself or you feel a little bit selfish. And you just remember you're the only one and that is amazing.

So, Robert Mack's full bio is in the show notes, please check it out because, I mean, he has gone from Philadelphia to Miami, now he's in Santa. Monica and the journey in there we talk a bit about it in the interview, but really you’re gonna want to see who he’s studied with and where he got these brilliant thoughts that he shares with you. But just a brief little intro is, Robert is an Ivy-league educated positive psychology expert. Yeah. Positive Psychology expert. He's a celebrity happiness coach, executive coach and he is an author. He is one of the world's leading experts on the relationship between happiness and success, which is why I wanted to have him here today. He's also been endorsed by Oprah, I mean, enough said, you can just keep that thing, right you're like, I'm ready let's go. Vanessa Williams and many others and he’s been seen in Good Morning America, The Today Show, Access Hollywood, E, Own, GQ, Self, Help, Health, Cosmopolitan and Glamour, just to name a few, in the show notes and you just check out not only just see his amazing bio but also see, he has a book Happiness Inside and Out, we talk about it briefly in the interview and I just know that after this interview, we're gonna be reading it, because when you hear his story of how he was born, unhappy. And now, he is a happiness coach, I just think that, that means even if you are sitting here today listening to this feeling a little bit like everyday is another unhappy day and it just be that way.

So, we'll be right back with the full interview with Robert Mack right after this message.

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Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to out yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

EPISODE:

Lesley Logan - 00:01

All right. Okay, everyone, I am so honored, like truly honored to bring our next guest into your ears today. This is Rob Mack, Robert Mack, you'll find him on Instagram and all the things. I met him through a friend at an event, virtually. And his story is just one that I had to make sure you heard because it absolutely, like it shows so many different times that he was being it before you saw it. And I know that to be true, from the things that I can't wait to share stories and have a great conversation. And you're gonna hear some awesome things. And so, Rob, will you tell everyone. Who you are and where you're from? We can just dive right into it.

Robert Mack - 00:39

Yeah, for sure. So thanks for having me, first of all. I'm Rob Mac, I'm a happiness coach, a published author, a TV personality and producer. And also like a recovering unhappy person, or recovering suicidal person. I was suicidal for a large period of my life. And that's probably what I identify most with, in some ways, because the work I do now is really all about happiness.

Lesley Logan - 01:04

Thank you for sharing that. I think one of the things I like is that you share your story about suicide in a way that a lot of people don't understand. And also, it's something I think that people don't talk about very much. And so then people who have suicidal thoughts, they feel fairly alone. And that is something I think is really important, especially right now in the time that we're in when we record this. I am sure when people hear this, like he's a happiness coach, and he wrote a book, and he did this. And he did this. And it's like, already, like, how do you do all the things? And so I want to start kind of what? Well, I think we probably should start a little bit at the beginning, like, when you were, when you were suicidal? Obviously, that didn't happen. Thank goodness, because we're here today to hear your story. What, what prompted you to become a happiness coach? Or like what happened in between those two things?

Robert Mack - 01:56

Yeah, it's such a great question. So, I don't know about a lot of people. But I felt like I was born really unhappy. Like it was the most miserable kid in the world, for seemingly no good reason. I just feel like was wired that way. My first memories were being very unhappy, really stressed out, anxious, self loathing. I always thought I’d grow out of that, you know. That as I got older, and I wanted to be a professional basketball player and if that ever happened. I thought that would solve it for me. And I knew if I had some friends, maybe a girlfriend, even at some point, that I would grow out of my unhappiness, but it didn't happen, at least not right away. And then not in that way. As I got older, it actually got worse. And I got to a place where I was actively contemplating killing myself every single day, multiple times a day. And it was overwhelming. At some point, I eventually decided to do something about it. So I did a little research, I basically decided that I was going to slash my wrist because that's what I had access to, I had access to a knife. So I went to the kitchen, I got a kitchen knife, and I rammed it into my wrist. You know, the one thing about suicide and wanting to kill yourself is that you're trying to escape the pain. So I didn't really love the idea of more physical pain. And so I still have a test mark to this day, but I was very serious about killing myself. Something very strange and unpredictable happened in that moment, though, you know, as I sort of dug this knife into my wrist without any explainable reason, I started to just feel this inexplicable joy and peace, just sort of wash over me. And that was extraordinarily unexpected, unpredictable, and I didn't really couldn't process that, really. So at the time, it was like, What am I gonna do with this? I should maybe just postpone the suicide thing. Maybe I'll postpone it for like an hour. And now it's pretty laughable, you know, because an hour doesn't seem like that long. And to be quite honest with you, even that time, I wasn't committed to an entire hour, I thought, well, maybe it'll be 15 minutes, it might be 15 seconds. But I'll do a little research. And so I started doing a little research, I discovered a lot of things in that period of time. But mostly, I wasn't alone. And second of all, lots of folks have were smarter than me had dug their way out of this dark, deep depressive hole. So in any case, I started applying all the research that I was in, all the things I was learning, I started keeping a journal, just sort of things that were working for me in terms of improving my happiness. And that journal eventually became a book. Kind of reluctantly, I never set out to write a book. But yeah, lo and behold, my life just started to turn around when I prioritized happiness. And before long,it kind of became a profession, which is interesting.

Lesley Logan - 04:39

I think I love how professions happen upon us. I think it's my, maybe it applies here. I thought I was going to be happy. So that was paying for my very expensive Pilates habit. Yeah, but it happened upon me in a way and I. When I hear your story. I mean, I'm sure to many people listening, there's going to be these… there's so many thoughts that come through your head. And I'm so grateful that you didn't. I'm sure everyone in your life is so grateful that you didn't go through with it. And I will do hear... I know, I know, I know. But I hear like, you know, I, I hear the negotiation with yourself. And I think that even if you aren't someone who's ever been suicidal, we negotiate with ourselves all the time, we negotiate with ourselves over if we're going to get the dessert in an hour, no in 15 minutes like, there are negotiations that happen in our brain all day long. And, and those, those negotiations, put our choices, and we are constantly making them. And I, I think it's so fascinating, that you're, that you felt joy for a moment, I was just enough to get you to think and act on that thought, which is something that a lot of people don't do. And I want to go back to your book, because I'm sure a lot of people are like, wait, what's the book? So I'm going to ask the question, like, what's the name of the book? How can they find it? So we can just get that out of their head right now?

Robert Mack - 06:01

Yeah, for sure. So the book is called Happiness from the Inside Out: The Art and Science of Fulfillment. Vanessa Williams, the actress and singer, wrote the foreword to the book. The friend of a friend of mine, can find the book, everywhere great books are sold, including Amazon and Barnes and Noble. But yeah, initially, it just started out as me tracking happiness habits. Over time, it became more about the clients that I was, you know, working with, and the things that were working for them as well. But yeah, it's part-story. But it's really, you know, eight, tried and true principles for increasing and improving not just the happiness of your life, but also the success of your life. Because the one thing we know, from the field of positive psychology is that when you become happier, you increase the authentic and effortless success of your life. So your actual circumstances and conditions improve on their own, seemingly as a result of prioritizing happiness.

Lesley Logan - 06:53

Yeah, I mean, obviously, the science agrees with my opinion, which is like, yes, it's so true. Because I talk to people a lot about like whatever you believe to be true, is what you'll see evidence for. So if you believe your life is unhappy, you're going to see all the evidence that just proves you to be completely correct. Versus people who are like, see their life as more happier, the glass is more full. They're seeing all the different things that did happen that were really good. And I have a coaching group, and I have a rule: you are allowed to vent in a channel, there's a slack group, and they're allowed to write like, I need a moment they can like, just vent it out. But there's a rule, they have to then go share a win, because never in a day, do you not have both. But there's always something else to look at. And so I imagine that with your journaling, like you're just tracking those good things. And whenever we track anything, we see the...we actually like, there's a, there's a saying in the business world about like, what you track you actually manage or something like that is more worldly than I am. But I think that's so cool, because I do believe that a lot of people have a lot more good happening to them. Even right now. Even if they're listening like no, Lesley, you don't understand I lost my business. I lost this person in my life doing this last year. And I think there's still good stuff happening.

Robert Mack - 08:06

Well, yeah, you're alive, right? I mean, that, that and of itself. I mean, there are infinite, countless things that are required in order for you to continue to stay alive. And if on top of that, you're also healthy, on top of that you have a roof over your head and running water and all these things. And yes, don't get me wrong, I totally understand how difficult life is and the brain doesn't always make it that easy to be happy. I mean, the brain is really wired to help you survive. If you survive, the chances of being happy are a lot higher than if you don't, right. And so, you know, we've got these biases built into the brain and make it a little difficult to be happy. So we've got a negativity bias built in, which requires that we have about five positive experiences, or at least five positive recognitions for every one negative, right. And so things like that, and we've got a confirmation bias. You spoke there a little bit about that. Also, selective attention, selective perception. But the whole point is that you get more of what you focus on, right? And what you appreciate, appreciates increases in value. And so the challenging opportunity in the world today is to focus in very intentional ways. Right? In ways that will actually improve or increase your happiness.

Lesley Logan - 09:15

Yeah. Oh, that's, so there it is. The appreciate appreciates. That's the word. The phrase I was looking for. Thank you Rob, for being here for that. (Robert Mack: Every now and then.) Yeah. I am. I know that you now live in New Downtown in Santa Monica. And but you didn't always you were in Miami for some time. And what I love to hear more about your experience in Miami and then moving to LA and just kind of what, what brought that about? What was the impetus?

Robert Mack - 09:43

Totally! So I came out of undergrad I went to undergrad in Philadelphia at Swarthmore. Came out, had no idea what I wanted to do. All the smart kids were interviewing with consulting companies. I had no idea what consulting was, but I just knew the smart kids were doing it so I should probably do it. So I ended up getting a job with a consulting company. I did that for five years. And after that management consulting work, I, the entire time I didn't love the job. I loved the people, but I honestly really didn't love the job. I didn't love living in Philadelphia. It's great city, but it was cold. I was, you know, suffering from seasonal affective disorder the whole nine, right?

Lesley Logan - 10:15

My husband's from Philly. So (Robert Mack: Oh, okay!), go there at Christmas. And I'm like, how long are we here? I'm a California girl, like I just need some sun.

Robert Mack - 10:24

Yeah, I need my vitamin D, I need the sun or any beach ideally. So at some point in time, I decided to go back to business school. And, you know, part of that was I just wanted to be in Miami. And I wanted to find a good reason for the company to let me work from a virtual office in Miami, whatever, I just wanted to be in the sunshine. So eventually, that happened. But along the way, you know, I decided to want to do consulting work. And I was without work for a period of time, you know. I was going back to business school, and I'm trying to pay for that. And Miami is not cheap either. And I was walking along Lincoln Road, one day thinking. What am I going to do with my life? I’ve got to figure this out. And I ran into just a random, there was a random guy walking along the road, he said, “Hey, you've never modeled before?” And I'm like, definitely not me, like, you’ve definitely got the wrong person. I know, I'm the ugliest person in the world. I know, I'm, you know, not the model type. And a week later, the same thing happened again with someone different. So I then eventually decided to go into the, you know, one of the agencies, and I started this entire career for 10 years in entertainment. You know, I was working as a model, as an actor. And along the way, I was meeting people in that space. But mostly the entire time, I was really focused on what I wanted to do when I grew up, you know, really was trying to discover what my purpose was. And it's just so interesting that I couldn't get away from this obsession with happiness. I didn't know there was a profession called happiness coaching, or anything like that. And then over time, I found this program at University of Pennsylvania, the Master's in Applied Positive Psychology program. It's really the study in science of what makes life worth living. And I, you know, entered into that program, graduated from that program, and opened my private practice.

Lesley Logan - 11:58

Amazing. So did you, is that when you moved to LA? Because did you go back to Philly for that degree?

Rpbert Mack - 12:04

Ah! So thankfully, it was an executive program. So I just flew in for the weekends. Like once a month, it was ideal, expensive, but worth it. So yeah, I couldn't, I don't think I could move back to Philadelphia, though I love the people there. Great city. Um, you know, so what happened with the LA thing is I had done, like, three different stints in LA once with the girlfriend, once with my brother, once on my own, and it never stuck. And so at some point, I just surrendered this whole LA thing, like, you know, maybe LA isn't for me, it doesn't seem like it ever works out. And then one day, I got a phone call from a production company, and they were working on a TV show for E. And so they said, Hey, Rob, you know, we know that you do kind of this, you know, a little bit of relationship work. And would you be interested in doing this show called Famously Single, and you'd be a dating and relationship coach. And I said, you know, at that time, I was like, you know what I don't, I don't think I really want to do that. Honestly, I've chased the TV for a little while. I just wanted to be happy, like help people, genuinely. But they convinced me. They said, Oh, you can help people. We'll film it, it'll be fine. So that's what brought me to LA. We did two seasons of that. And then I moved to LA.

Lesley Logan - 13:10

Cool. I have to say, y'all, this is really funny. Because if you've never been in like Miami, New York, LA and you hear about people who just get stopped on the streets, and you're like, I would never talk to that person. There is something about affirmation that makes you stop when someone's like, have you ever thought about doing this? And you're like, Oh, my God, no, we've the wrong person. But it has. So I did a brief because I lived in LA and I actually worked as a Pilates instructor in West Hollywood. So like, just like every model walking up the high end gym that I was working at and teaching that and I not only ended up with a commercial acting, commercial acting agent, I ended up with a modeling agent. And then all of us like, it's crazy, y'all. It just keeps happening. And I didn't, similar to you, I didn't actually know that that was what I wanted to do. I also was like, do I want to be a Pilates destructor when I grow up? Like I didn't really know, like, I was enjoying it. I was doing projects. I was trying things out. I was really testing things and trying to be something and figure out if that was the thing. And so as my amazement, be this, I may as well just see what this is like. And I swear, like, even if it sounds like a left turn in your career to do something like that. It's exactly what you're supposed to do. Because it changed. It changed the trajectory of everything. Like it made it so easy for me to do YouTube videos, that made it so easy for me to talk to strangers or like, just try on things and be a little braver.

Robert Mack - 14:30

You don't need to see the whole staircase, you just need to see the next step. And that's huge for me, because when I was in Philadelphia. I mean, I was reading every book I could possibly find on: Wwhat should you do with your life? What do you do with your career? And I had no idea and I wasn't getting any closer. In fact, it felt like I was getting further away. And the only thing I knew for sure is that I love sunshine. I love the idea of Miami. Right? And that led me to Miami and it didn't seem like it was at all related to anything professional. In fact, I felt like was probably gonna get away from doing, you know, being successful professionally. But it led to the next thing. And so to your point, and I love what you're saying there, you're absolutely right about that. You don't need to see the perfect vision of how your life's gonna work out. If you feel an inkling inside of something and you want to do, that might be interesting to you, that might be fun. Just take a step in that direction, and you find that the other steps sort of appear, you're actually taking that first step.

Lesley Logan - 15:23

Yeah. Oh, that is, that is so true. It's that, that there's that there’ll, there will always be a little anxiety and fear, I'm sure you felt like, am I doing the right thing when I move here? But all you could see is like, well, this is the first step, I'm going to take that and see what it is. And when you take that first action, everyone, it really does like it, it gets the fear of the way and it makes the fear feel a little smaller. Because once you start the wheels in motion, clarity comes meaning the second step and the third step, or just the opportunity to look at different staircases and you can't get that from thinking things through. And I see so many people, I just got to a group coaching call, and someone was like, “Okay, so how do I do this?” And I was like, “Well, I can probably give you literally every step because I've done what you're asking for. But that's overwhelming. So even if I gave you the staircase, you won't even do the thing, because now you know too much. And it's gonna sound really, really like too much work. So here's your first step. This is what your first thing is to do.” And I think people underestimate the power of that first step.

Robert Mack - 16:24

You nailed it. I mean, action, cures anxiety, often, right? I mean, you've got a bench test things. Like that was the discovery with me. Was I going to like Miami or not? Bench tested it. Go to Miami and enjoy yourself for a week or a month or a year and see how it goes. You can always move back, or whatever it is. And so you have to get experience. Sometimes experience is the only explanation. And we sometimes try too hard to figure out things in our head.

Lesley Logan - 16:48

Yeah, now our head is such a funny, it's, it's so funny, because inside your head, good things that everything takes up a little bit too much too much space. And it gets very muddled. And it's like, I'm always like, if you I just tell people, if you just say it out loud, when you just say out loud what your fear is, it all of a sudden sounds a little funny, you're like, really, that's what I'm afraid of right now.

Robert Mack - 17:08

So true. When you hear it out loud, it suddenly puts it all in perspective. And you make a great point there too, Lesley, and I just, that’s why I love conversation with you. Like, the mind is very rarely, if ever decisive, it's always divisive. You know, the mind is a place of dissonance very rarely, a place of consonance, right. And so a lot of the work for me has been to quiet the mind so I can slip more deeply into the heart and then come from a much more intuitive, deeper knowing place. But it does require you to get some of those thoughts out, or at least that I can go.

Lesley Logan - 17:42

Yeah, yeah, it's well, you go you said it already was that like, our, our, our brains job, our body's job is to keep us alive. So it's going to probably challenge every thought you have with like, what could go wrong? It's not exactly ready to go, here's what can go right. When you go that way, here's the best thing that's going to happen, you know, that does take, that takes practice.

Robert Mack - 18:04

That's right. And evolutionarily that wouldn't have been very adaptive, right, would have served you very well. It's like, just go out, you know, for a stroll right now at midnight. And, you know, in the middle of the woods, don't worry about it. Like, you know, you know, the challenge, of course, now the opportunity now is that, you know, lots of these sort of biases and some of the heuristics that the brain uses, you know, they've, they're no longer as valuable or as useful as they often were before, right? So we have to, you know, use this other function of the brain, which, the prefrontal cortex, to kind of think our way through things in a much more relaxed, but clear way.

Lesley Logan - 18:40

Yeah, I am. I want to go back to, so you didn't know what a happiness coach was. So when did you hear that there was such a thing as a happiness coach? And like, or when did you at least start calling yourself one?

Robert Mack - 18:51

Yeah. So it's, it's a great question. I'm not sure I ever really did hear of happiness, coaching being a thing. I just remember coming, having this insight. And I'm sure that somebody else facilitated this insight. But the insight was kind of like, what would you do, not only for free, but what would you pay someone else to let you do? Like, what are you doing already that you'd love to do more of that you'd love? You know, that you would even pay someone else to let you do? And I thought, well, I love talking to people about psychology and spirituality, a little bit of business here and there, but mostly around happiness and effortless success. And I thought, well, that'd be sure nice to get folks to pay me to have those conversations. Right? And so, over time, I started to think, well, it's really just happiness that I love helping people with. So I guess I'm a happiness coach. And I really struggled with like the terminology around it. But then I discovered Richard Carlson, who was the author of Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. He kind of was like a stress consultant, happiness coach, and then I discovered Robert Holden, he was the happiness coach. So over time, sort of, you know, you start to see more of what you look for in a way. So it was kind of confirmed or validated for me.

Lesley Logan - 19:56

Oh, I love that. I grew up. I had a mom who I don't know that she was born happy either. She like, we listened to a lot of Stuart Smalley, you know?

Robert Mack - 20:10

In my book actually I talk about Stuart Smalley, yeah.

Lesley Logan - 20:12

Yeah. And I just remember being this kid like, okay, you know, you're smart. You're important, like all, people like me. (Robert Mack: Yes!) So anyway, I mean, if you're listening, you don't know who that is, look him up, because you'll be like, Oh, so many, like, all these people's names, you've probably seen their stuff. At some point just maybe someone else quoted it. And you're like, that's amazing, it resonated with you. Yeah, I think I was like, when you said, I didn't know who, like how it came on, I call myself happiness coach, and then you start to see things. I think a lot of people get stuck on, like, Well, what does that make me? And, what is my title for that? And I remember, even when I started my business, people were calling me the CEO of my business. And I'm like, I’m the CEO of my business, what is that? What does that even mean? Like people will put titles on you if you don't, like get a title on yourself. So like, you gotta, that's probably the one of the first steps I was like, I have to like, come up with something. And so you know, when I started calling myself a Pilates instructor even that felt so weird. Felt so weird to call myself that because there was this part of me that was like, waiting for someone to deem me that. Like, I think we tend to go through life waiting for someone to deem us whatever it is, what we want to be and, and I, I'm gonna I'm gonna guess, but maybe I could be wrong. Like, you didn't wait for someone to deem you the happiness coach, like you called yourself that?

Robert Mack - 21:27

Yeah, no, I mean, I was, yeah, because I was the only person I knew of who was even talking about happiness in the obsessive compulsive way that I was, and reading every book I could get my hands on. So I was like, No, this is what I am like. And yes, it does feel weird. And part of that is because it's not familiar. Another part of that is sometimes we suffer with imposter syndrome, right? But a third part of that, ultimately, all definition is somewhat limiting, right? Because we don't really, any of us, we don't really fit into a box. And so we call it the happiness coach you like, well, but I'm also talking a little bit about success and everything about executive presence, or confidence, or charisma, or, you know, these other things, love dating relationships. So you can always feel a little uncomfortable, because ultimately, you're so much bigger than that. But (Lesley Logan: Yeah), you think you're so much smaller than that?

Lesley Logan - 22:15

Yeah, yeah, I think, um, I think if someone is listening, you're like, waiting for someone to tell you what you are, I highly recommend you give yourself your own title, you can make it up whatever you want. I promise you, it's better that way. And you, I think we all will outgrow something to an extent because we are ever changing. And so you know, and it's really simple. You just, you just put a new title on the business card, like you just go into Canva and you just edit.

Robert Mack - 22:42

No, totally. And it doesn't have to be just one. I mean, depending on who I talked to, I call myself different things. Right? So the executives, my private practice, I'm an executive coach, for you know, the athletes, I might be a peak performance coach, you know, but for everyday people who just care mostly about happiness, and I'm a happiness coach, but really, it's the same thing, we're just using different words, different language, but you don't have to stick to one thing forever. And you don't only have to be one thing even for now.

Lesley Logan - 23:06

Yeah, that is the coolest thing that, um, I, you know, my parents have always had one job. Right? Like, my mom has been a school teacher, since she started being a school teacher somewhere in my childhood. And that's what she still is. And my dad worked for the post office, which you can't get more of like, this is your job until you get a pension, and he did not get a gold watch. And it was the whole thing, right? So you know, when I went to college for communications, and interpersonal organizational and I didn't even, I was like, I don't want to go to grad school, I don't want to write another paper. I’m over this. So I started working in retail. I didn't know what I was gonna be and I loved it. And I had so much fun. But when I met someone there who said, “you should teach Pilates.” And I was like, I could do that, like, in my mind because of what I saw. And that's what we people have to be really careful of. If you only saw your parents do one thing their whole life, then you start to think that that's it. Like, you don't see what you can do, you don't see that there's other possibilities. And now, you know, since someone just opened up that door, and I think like being aware of people suggesting things like you were aware of someone who said you should be a model. And it's like, no, no, no. And it happens again, you're like, well, maybe I should try this, twice in one week, you know. And so I think it's really important that we don't have to. We can change, we can grow, we can evolve, and now we live in a world that's so much more possible, right? It's not weird to switch jobs after a couple years.

Robert Mack - 24:29

In fact, it's celebrated. It's celebrated, right? I mean, particularly these days, you know, a lot of the folks that are working my private practice, you know, even if they stay in the same industry, or the same space in general, they are encouraged actually to change jobs after every three, four years. Right? It's a thing now. So absolutely, you know, I think part of the, you know, temptation for all of us, is to impose these limitations on ourselves and then spend our lives trying to overcome these limitations, but most all of it self imposed, yes, that we hear from somebody else that maybe we inherit. Somebody else sure, but every day that we choose those limitations, it's our responsibility, but it's also within our power to make a different decision.

Lesley Logan - 25:10

Yeah, I love it. So I have a question. And maybe there isn't. But I'm just wondering, is there? Is there a word or a sign like a statement that someone might be saying that is a sign of a limitation? Do you know what I mean? Like, (Robert Mack: Okay), is that clear?

Robert Mack - 25:24

Yes, totally. So I'm gonna say something very strong. And I can dilute it down, but every thought is limited. So we talked about limiting beliefs. But every belief is limited, to the extent of this belief, right? Every one every single one, there's no exception to that rule. And so ultimately, the limitless state is, one that is thoughtless, that's without thought, right? So every way in which you describe yourself, or define yourself, you're actually limiting yourself, period. So that's the way to know. Am I thinking? Okay. I'm limiting myself in some way. Now, there are much less limiting thoughts than others. Right? And so generally, anything that sounds, I would say, a better way to vet it for yourself is: how does it feel when you say it, right? Because we can all say the same thing. But we'll all feel a little differently based on, you know, our experiences and what we sort of imagined for ourselves and how we see ourselves. And so I'd say you can vet your thoughts better by how they feel than what they sound like. So if the thought doesn't feel inspiring, and enlightening or doesn't make you feel happy to be alive, it's probably limiting thought.

Lesley Logan - 26:25

Ah, yes, yes, yes. Okay. So, I sometimes, people wonder, like, if someone listening might be thinking, How do I know I should quit something? Right? And that's what your thought, your statement just came to. And I remember Brad and I were working on this project. And he, I was really frustrated with it. I was crying, I was burnt out, because I was trying to, you know, do it as a side hustle while I was working, because I needed to make the money, to make it happen. And so I was doing this job and this project of mine, and he was like, let's just quit it. Just quit it. Like, if it's making you cry, just quit. And the feeling that came over me was regret and frustration and anger, like that was not the answer. And so, while I didn't know how it was going to make it work, I knew based on the feeling in my body, that that was the wrong thing to do. Like it didn't make me feel relieved. Like, if I knew that it was the right answer I would have felt relieved. Okay, I'll just quit. But that was not that wasn't it? So I think that's, I think that's such a great thing. I think we forget that our body is really telling us a lot of things all day long.

Robert Mack - 27:32

Oh, the body is much wiser. And the brain is older. The brain is, you know, right. So you're absolutely right about that. If you ever have questions or doubts about what you think or believe, just check the body, the body will tell you, you know, generally if it feels like relief or not. So you absolutely nailed it. I mean, and that's the challenge. That's the challenge with, you know, and why we can't really give people like a guidebook or a rulebook and say, these are limits, these are the most limiting thoughts, because for some people, that would have been the perfect answer. Quit! Yes! They feel relief, they want to just go running, you know, and into the sunset, they were - loved it. But for you, it was a very different response, and that there was a deep knowing in that. So I agree with you there. And I've had the same experience in my own life. Like, you know, there have been opportunities for me where it's like, oh, you can get paid this amount of money to work this corporate job, and I'm like, kill me now. I'm good. I'm gonna pass on that. But I love the idea of, you know, the opportunity for somebody else. So you're absolutely right, I think we want to reach for feelings of relief, ultimately. And that doesn't mean there aren't going to be moments that are uncomfortable, that you still might want to lean into. But it's such a personal thing. It's very hard for somebody outside of you to tell you what's right for you.

Lesley Logan - 28:34

Yeah, and I think that's the hardest part, because everyone's listening like, Okay, tell me what I'm, when I say this, this is the thing that's, that's holding you back or when it's just you. It takes so much personal knowing and just like checking in with yourself. And I think that takes so much work, because I think a lot of people are scared of what, I think they know the answer, and they're too scared of it. It's just scary to do.

Robert Mack - 28:57

Well, absolutely. And it's so hard to hear your heart, when your mind is so noisy, right? If you're listening to the mind, and the mouth, the mind shouts and pretends to know so much, but it actually knows so little, the heart just speaks in a whisper and it knows everything. But you think that it knows nothing. So that's what any of these practices are about: yoga, or mindfulness or meditation, or prayer or visualization, ultimately, it's about quieting your mind, ideally, long enough and deep enough that you can hear this deeper, intuitive, all knowing presence. Right? And so I love what you're saying there. And it's a little hard to figure it out when you're only living your life, through your mind and through your thoughts.

Lesley Logan - 29:37

Yeah, so, I mean, obviously, because of your journal that led to a book you would tell people to journal. Yeah.

Robert Mack - 29:43

Yes, I love journaling. And I would say you know, depending on where you are, if you're just starting out in this journey, journaling, whatever, just free association is great, wherever you're thinking and feeling is fine. Ultimately, though you want to eventually get to a place where you're journaling or focusing on what you love about life, about the people and particularly about yourself that will help to rewire your brain, to make happiness and love and peace, much less effortful and much more automatic.

Lesley Logan - 30:10

Yeah, I, this is I love that you start with a free association because here's the deal, y'all, feel if you don't know me already, I'm a recovering perfectionist, I definitely the ing is there. We're good. I'm also a recovering overachiever. So there's like, there's a couple little things in there. And I remember my therapist was like, it was right after the pandemic started. And I was having a meeting with her. And she said, I think you just need to journal. And I was like, Okay, I can do that. And then I go back the next week and I'm like, so I didn't journal because I have a journal. And it's sitting here. And actually, let me show you all the journals I've purchased in the last 10 years. So I have all these pretty journals. And they're all empty, because I actually don't know how to journal like, what do you journal? Right? And she started laughing, she's like, of course, because you have a perfectionist problem. And just so you know, there's no right way. And I'm like, “But okay, thank you for that. I need direction, I need direction.” So she had me do morning pages. And I said, I've heard of morning pages, I just don't have time to read that book. And I want to read the book. And she said, you don't have to read a book, this is what you're gonna do. You're gonna grab a legal pad of paper as soon as you get up in the morning, you're gonna write until you hit three pages, and then don't re-read it. And, y'all, if you have if you're like listening, and you're like, thanks for the journaling tip again. For if you can't get to the part where you do like really intention journaling, where you're like looking at gratitudes looking at wins, looking what's going really, well, trust me, the free writing on three pages first thing in the morning, you become so aware of the thoughts that you're not actually paying attention to. It's like that meditation you're talking about. And I really discovered so much within two weeks of it. And I was like, this is the most amazing thing. I still do it every morning. It's my favorite thing. Usually, it starts with I hate the mornings. Oh my god, and I'm a morning person, but who wants to wake up? No one. So I, I just highly recommend anyone who's really stuck on like, what do I journal about, just write for three pages, and you will figure it out.

Robert Mack - 32:03

I love that so much. And you're so right about that. And you know, there's a great metaphor I think about sometimes, like most of us are so lost in our thinking every day. And most of that thinking is redundant, it's negative, it's super stressful. Okay, we're so lost in it. It's kind of like being in a movie. And you're just so caught up in this like horror flick, you're just so into it, you're so freaked out the entire time that you forget, it's actually a movie. They're just fake characters. It's a fake plot, it's all made up, we forget that. And part of what journaling allows you to do is step back a little bit from that movie. And remember, you're actually in a movie theater, and you can step out of the movie theater, if you want, you can turn off the projector, you can maybe redo the scenes, whatever it is that you want. So that's the beauty and power of journaling, to some extent is that you get to become sort of this non judgmental observer, or witness of the crazy thoughts that you often have. And then at some point, you can make a different decision, or different choice when it comes to any of those thoughts.

Lesley Logan - 32:58

Amazing, amazing. And I am the person who screams in a movie because I'm like living the movie. I'm like with them. So horror films are not around here because it's like, I may as well be that like, “turn around!” I can't do it. But that's so true. It's like journaling does let you do that. Thank you for sharing that. I think that it's something that's an easy thing for people to do right now. To really help them figure out what their body already is trying to tell them. I'm really into that so before we wrap this up, I'm really enjoying this, I hope everyone's having too much fun learning everything. Where can people find you? Just so that they can start because they're already going on? Want to learn more from you?

Robert MAck - 33:37

I so appreciate and adore you. I mean, I mean I thank you so much not just for who you are, but for what you do. Just amazing. So you can find me at coachrobmac.com. That's my website. You can also find me on most social media platforms, but probably most consistently Instagram @RobMack (MACK) official.

Lesley Logan - 33:58

Yeah, I love it. I have a friend who's also an official at the end and like, I should do that. I want to I'm official.

Robert Mack - 34:04

Well, I knew what the beginning was like, I knew when they had come up with that check. We're gonna all be chasing this check mark thing now. And I'm like, I'm gonna make it official. I don't need the check mark. I'm declaring it for myself.

Lesley Logan - 34:16

That is the ultimate Be It Till You See It. You're like, I don't even need the check mark. I'm already officially checked. That's awesome.

Robert Mack - 34:23

I'm gonna outsource this self approval thing. You know.

Lesley Logan - 34:27

That's it. I mean, it's so in line with what you do. And it's really funny. I mean, it's people do get too caught up. There's always gonna be something we're chasing. I think that's the nature of what the world wants. This is for so busy chasing something that's like, Who cares? Who cares what the check mark is? Someone has a check mark and I saw four posts. I'm like, Well, obviously you can buy that then because like how did you get that with the four posts?

Robert Mack - 34:49

You nailed it. You're right about this too, which is a really profound point. I want to just highlight what you say because it was so profound. I want people to hear it. Like you don't want to spend this very short life chasing temporary things, that there's a huge danger in that. And actually, if you can turn it around, if you can stand, you can just prioritize, like, this happiness that’s on the inside. You'll find that the successful things that you're after, whether it's health or relationships or money or more recognition, it shows up with so much less energy, time and effort. And so that's the one thing I just want to remind folks that because that's a poignant remark.

Lesley Logan - 35:22

Yeah, um, thank you for pointing that out. I love when things can be repeated, because some people need to hear it in different ways. And it's so true that some people call it a flow state, you know that you get in there. And it's the, I've heard of other things like the doors are closing. And then when you're on it, the doors keep opening. And I know people who are listening to me for like, I'm just hitting closed doors. And I'm like, I promise you, I promise you, it's just because it's part of the process, you've got to go on, like you've got those doors are closing on you for a reason. And then there'll be plenty of doors opening and it will, it will happen when you probably stop chasing what you think you're supposed to be doing. And start asking your body the questions that it really should be doing.

Robert Mack - 35:59

Giving up on that inner door and inner doors that when you get to knock on all these other doors, when you, when you prioritize knocking on the outer doors, you just postpone, ultimately, where the greatest happiness and the greatest success is found.

Lesley Logan - 36:10

Yeah, beautiful. Okay, so before I let you go, I really like people to have tangible takeaways. I mean, we've nailed several already. So the journaling one is big, but what is something a tip that you can give people that they could take away now, that they could be it to something bold, executable, something to find that intrinsic motivation or something targetable. Can be one, can be four. What would you tell people?

Robert Mack - 36:31

Number one, make happiness the most important goal in your entire life. Like if you can prioritize that, I promise you that everything else will take care of itself. So that's number one. Number two is recognize that happiness is always inside. And it can be found first through positive thinking, or really telling a better feeling story based on truth about everything and everybody in your life. And secondly, by not thinking at all, ultimately, what we're all heading is to simply being the peace and love and the happiness that we ultimately want to experience, the future being it now. And every time you have a moment when you're not lost in thought, and you're just breathing in the moment, and you're not trying to figure out the future, and you're not reminiscing about the past, and you're just deeply present, you already are being the happiness that you're ultimately chasing through these other people in these other things. And so that's the final thing I'll say is, try not to route your happiness through other people, places and things, but instead go directly to the source for it. And you can do that both through positive thinking on one hand, that's putting it simply and not thinking on the other.

Lesley Logan - 37:41

Amazing! Obviously, we could talk for hours, we'll have to have you back for sure. Like I'm just this is a conversation, keep going. And I'm so grateful for you. I really, really am. So thank you for being here, Rob. Everyone, follow him? Screenshot this podcast, tag us both on Instagram with your takeaways. We can see what you got out of this and we can share what you posted with those who are following us. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, and I'll see you soon.

Robert Mack - 38:06

See you soon!

---

Lesley Logan

That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast!

One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review.

And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts.

Also, make sure to introduce yourself over on IG at be_it_pod! Share this episode with who ever you think needs to hear it.

Help us help others to be it till you see it by leaving a 5 star review and sharing this episode with that person who just popped into your mind.

Until next time remember to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT!

---

Lesley Logan

‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.

Brad Crowell

It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan

Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell

And to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Today's pod introduces you to Lesley's husband, Brad Crowell, the CEO of their company. You'll meet him every other episode when they dig into the interview that Lesley hosted in the previous episode. In this episode you'll learn where the name of the podcast came from, what "Be It" actually stands for (it's an acronym) and then some great convo about the interview that LL had with Joanna Vargas from Episode 1.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you will learn about:

• Where the name of the podcast comes from
• What the Be It acronym stands for (B.E.I.T.)
• How "Be It Till You See It" is totally different from "Fake It Till You Make It"
• How to play the "remember when" game
• What is a "Loop" or "Open Loop"?
• Why procrastination is not bad
• The power of speaking someone's first name to them

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser and Castbox.

Lesley Logan Resources

• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Follow Lesley on Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Transcription:

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to out yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

Lesley Logan 00:32

Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap, actually. Welcome to the interview recap to the BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT Pod. This is our first one! So this is where my co-host in life, Brad and I are going to dig into an amazing conversation I had with Joanna Vargas in our last episode, if you haven't yet listened to that interview, feel free to pause this now. Feel free to pause this now and go back and listen to that one, and then you come back and join us. Or, if you're like me, and you'd like to know how things end, then you can listen to this one, and then go back to that one. There are no rules here. This is your life and you get to Be It Till You See It the way you want. Okay.

Brad Crowell 01:11

She's not live. That's literally how she is.

Lesly Logan 01:13

It's how I watch everything.

Brad Crowell 01:15

Yeah

Lesley Logan 01:16

If you watch the Crown, and Google it on Wikipedia while you're watching it let me know in the DMs on Instagram. Okay, so, anyways. Um, but first, Brad, is there any. Okay, hold on. So, this is where y'all, this is where we have an audience question but I'm gonna be really honest this is the first episode so there's no way that you could have sent us anything to ask us. Cuz you didn't hear the interview yet. And this podcast just launched, so we thought we would do something different today.

Brad Crowell 01:47

Yeah, we thought basically instead of an audience question. That instead we share just a little bit about what Be It Till You See It actually means, how we came up with the name of the pod. And what we focus on with our takeaways, with each interview.

Lesley Logan 02:09

Yeah.

Brad Crowell 02:09

So tell me, first off, tell me how we came up with the name.

Lesly Logan 02:12

Okay, so let me be really honest. We have been trying to figure out a name for a podcast for about three years.

Brad Crowell 02:20

Yeah

Lesley Logan 02:20

So, we have, we have come up with many, we have many URLs to many podcasts that will never be, and that's okay. But the way this interview came, this way this podcast name came about is, so I have been listening to an interview with Amy Cuddy on, it's an interview is a "TED talk with Amy Cuddy" that one of my OPC members had sent to me and she said, this interview makes me think of you and how you teach. And I was like, who has 15 minutes just to watch a random interview, random TED Talks of which, I don't know anything about right like I'm not, I have to be honest, y'all I'm not a TED talk watcher when I watch a TED talk, it's because someone sent it to me. So I listen to this TED talk, and she shares how, she shares the study that they did about how if you stand in the Superwoman stance, that means, hands on hips if you're on YouTube, then you can see this if you're listening to a pod, then I need you to stand with your hands on your hips. Put your feet parallel and a little bit wider than your hips, lift your chest and be the super woman that you are. And if you hold that for five minutes. What it tells your brain is that you're a fucking badass. She didn't say that those are my words but basically they did a study where they had people stand in that posture for five minutes, and then they had people go into an interview and they had these interview - ERS, forgot the end of that - interviewer clearly haven't had to go on an interview in a while. They had these interviewers have no expression whatsoever, completely interview them and the people that did the power stance left the interviewing nailed it. When the interviewer literally gave no expression whatsoever. They had people sit in a slump position so go ahead and slouch it out, sit in the sun position

Brad Crowell 04:17

Slouch it out.

Lesley Logan 04:18

And then go in for the interview and all those people thought they failed the interview. Same interviewers, same questions, same non expressions. How crazy is that? So then she tells a story about how her life when, when she, I forget what Ivy League school she was at, but basically she had this brain injury, she was super super smart, has a brain injury is barely making it through college somehow lands in Ivy League school, thinks she is like failing she's with her Dean or whoever you talk to at college. I don't know, no one at my college asked me to come in for an interview of any kind. And she said, I am in the wrong place, I don't belong here. And he said, Why do you think that? And she had some response and he gave her a challenge to ask a question, every class and like actually be the girl who belongs at that school. And she then went on to be a professor at another school, an Ivy League school. And this girl comes into her office like I don't belong here. I'm not good enough to be here. I'm going to cry, not going to be here. And in that moment she gave the girl the same advice and she realized she was being the person who belonged at the place until she saw that she was the girl that belonged.

Brad Crowell 05:40

Yeah.

Lesley Logan 05:41

And that stuck with me in such a way because I grew up in the fake it till you make it world, which is like, smile if you don't feel happy put a smile on your face because you will feel happy and...

Brad Crowell 05:52

Well, I think there's a negative connotation to that where it's like you're worried more about the way others are perceiving your tragic experience (Lesley Logan: Yeah) or your discomfort or your unhappiness, instead of you focusing on yourself.

Lesley Logan 06:08

Yeah

Brad Crowell 06:08

Right? So like it's: fake it till you make it is like you know like the, the perception of others looking at you. Be It Till You See It is, is your perception of you until you get there.

Lesley Logan 06:20

And I love that so much because we should really care so much about what we think and not what others think (Brad: Yeah) because others are not thinking about you as much as you want, we can get that another day you could ask me what I think about that, but anyways, so that still doesn't answer your question of how it got his name.

Brad Crowell 06:33

Yeah, I was actually thinking about that class.

Lesley Logan 06:36

I know, I know. Okay, so, so, I don't remember why this class.

Brad Crowell 06:41

I know you told that story, I think it must have been shortly after you watch the TED talk.

Lesley Logan 06:45

It wasn't probably it was you know what it was. We did this whole thing. We taught a live Pilates class, virtually, because that's how we do things, And you took the workout with me, and it was a smaller class than normal, and I finished the class with us standing, and I had us stand in our power stance. And then I told you the mini version of what I just told you, because it can get shorter, y'all, I can do it shorter. And I said, and now I want you to go and be it till you see it, and you said, that's the name of the bad guy. (Brad: Yeah), and I was like, What?

Brad Crowell 07:22

On the spot like immediately right there I was like, That's it, that's the one! (Lesley: That's the one!) like everyone's watching like, What is he talking about?

Lesley Logan 07:29

Oh yeah, The poor girls on the other end of the computer who we couldn't see because of the way the camera was, I'm sure we're like, what are these people? Anyways, they're still members of ours so it's all good. So, anyway, in my creation of this podcast, and really making sure it is worth every minute of your time because you all, y'all you, I gotta be honest with you, your time is the only resource that is non renewable you cannot recreate your time. Right? (Brad: yeah), you can create money, you can create, what are the other resources in life? I don't know.

Brad Crowell 08:02

food

Lesley Logan 08:02

foods

Brad Crowell 08:03

friends

Lesley Logan 08:03

friends. All these things

Brad Crowell 08:04

All these sounds very family but

Lesley Logan 08:05

No, but you can make family

Brad Crowell 08:08

But you don't get more time

Lesley Logan 08:09

you don't get more time

Brad Crowell 08:10

to get more of other things,

Lesley Logan 08:11

Other things. Yes, so, um, so I just feel like if I'm going to be in your ears each and every week which thank you so much. I want you to get what you to I want you to get something out of it and so when I was working on this podcast, I came up with an acronym for BE IT. And that is, B is for bold, you have, you have to be bold, this, this world is not. Everyone's going to ask you to play small. And if you play small. Guess what you're going to get - small things and it's really frustrating and unsatisfying and, you know what people don't do on their deathbed go, you know, what I regretted being bold when I was 29 years old. No one does that! They're like, I regret not doing the thing. (Brad: Yeah), that was bold. (Brad: Yeah), and I so B is for bold and it is the most important thing, and it is the scariest thing is the hardest thing it's so freakin scary for me to be here right now and talking to this microphone with you but I'm being bold too. E is executable, y'all, action steps, the things this is it's executable is hard because like I'm like people, and also do things that you could actually execute but that's the other thing you could also find people to execute the task for you so that's also really awesome. I is intrinsic, he...

Brad Crowell 09:29

I am not opposed to having strategic boldness. Okay. I mean, those two are definitely (Lesley: That's gonna be...) there they're not mutually exclusive, they can go together.

Lesley Logan 09:41

Yeah.

Brad Crowell 09:42

You know

Lesley Logan 09:43

This is why Brad is here, because I have bold ideas, and Brad's like, and here's how we do that. (Brad: Yeah) So sorry, that's our dog Gaia, she's gonna do that every episode. So, I like, I'm a bold ideas person, and he's like, as soon as I start to get a little scared like, oh my god, like I don't have the skills for this, he's like, Oh, look, I've mapped out all the strategies to make this happen. So, thank you Brad for that. We'll make a shirt out of it.

Brad Crowell 10:09

What's I?

Lesley Logan 10:10

I is intrinsic and here's the thing that I, I can't tell you how to figure out what makes you intrinsically motivated but here's what I will tell you about extrinsic. Extrinsic motivation is like money, things, right? EX it's like things outside of you, and those will get you so far, you'll take promotions and other things based on extrinsic you might say yes to something, but it quickly goes away. What is the word?..

Brad Crowell 10:36

Intrinsic is like internally natural (Lesley: Yes) it's a, it's essential. It's basically like part of you. It's so part of you.

Lesley Logan 10:46

Yeah

Brad Crowell 10:47

That's intrinsic

Lesley Logan 10:48

And that is something that I hope as you listen to guests and Brad and I, each week that you get closer and closer to. Why the heck do you want to do what it is that you want to do, always. Like, what is it about you? Right?

Brad Crowell 11:00

I think intrinsic is another way to talk about. Intrinsic is strengths. (Lesley: Yes) Right? Like, What are your strengths?

Lesley Logan 11:08

Well, you know what? People should ask us that question. We don't have time for that today, but hint, hint. You should ask that question because there’s a good story around that. Okay, (Brad: T). T is targeted. So, targeted is just like, I believe you have to hit deadlines on things there needs to be a target to it, there has to be something that makes you take the action so you can be, you could have a bold idea, you can write out all the strategy, you could be intrinsically motivated. And if you don't put a target on that thing. You will put it off till tomorrow. (Brad: Yeah), and another day, and it will just be this thing that you've always thought you would do one day but you never do. And here's the thing about targets. You make them. And therefore if you don't meet them, it's not like, oh my gosh, I suck at this. No. You actually just go, Okay, why didn't I hit the target when of what I set? What got in the way of that? And I, and you ask yourself some questions, and then you go, okay, how can I fix this for the future? And then you've set a new target. Trust me. This podcast was supposed to start three years ago.

Brad Crowell 12:24

Well, also the thought process hadn't been put in to actually make it what it is so like we had this intention. Right, but we didn't take bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted action until, what, a couple months ago.

Lesley Logan 12:41

Yeah, I think, well I think sometimes, you know, ideas have to percolate and we did not put a target date on it, because we, well we can get into another day but like 2019 was going to be a podcast we decided that was the year that we like. Was that no new things? Was 2020...

Brad Crowell 12:58

I think 2020 I can't remember, but it is

Lesley Logan 13:00

I don't remember why 2020 didn't happen, but...

Brad Crowell 13:02

It's fine. (Lesley: Yeah), the fact is that now that it's, it's coming together and I'm really excited about the planning and the strategy and the BE IT, and the acronym, I think it's awesome.

Lesley Logan 13:13

Thank you.

Brad Crowell 13:14

So, so, so

Lesley Logan 13:16

Wouldn't be here without you

Brad Crowell - 13:17

Yeah, what an audience question. That wasn't. So fun, it's so great that it was...

Lesley Logan 13:22

And so you can ask your questions for us to answer on Instagram, @be_it_pod so if you just type in BE IT POD as three separate words and we'll pull it up or if you're like really someone who likes detail, it's really boring it's @be_it_pod. But anyways, (Brad: You'll find us) I read all the way and you will find it. I want you to tell, ask us any questions you want, there's not a question we probably can't answer. And we're really honest for like, No.

Brad Crowell 13:56

Yeah and so anyway, (Lesley Logan: Okay) I love it. (Lesley: I love you and I love it) So, thank you. Thanks for that.

Lesley Logan 14:01

Thanks for calling it out babe, I would have just let that moment pass us by and you're like this is it. So this is also, like, why you're here, and you keep your highlight the good stuff (Brad: End scene). Thank you. So, before we get into our whole shebang with talking about Joanna, I just want to say I have a quick little freebie for you so here it is: You may not know what it is you want to be right now, but prioritizing your time for yourself is of the utmost importance - that is totally a Brad sentence - here's the deal. If you don't prioritize yourself, no one's gonna prioritize you, and I believe in practicing prioritization. And one way that you can do that is with a Pilates class with me. Why? Because every time you show up for yourself on your mat you are telling the universe, you're telling yourself, I'm probably, prioritizing me right now. And so in order to do that because you might be like, “Girl, I don't even know what Pilates is”, I want to offer you a free class at OnlinePilatesClasses.com/beit. So that's OnlinePilatesClasses.com slash b e i t. All right, Brad, who are we talking about today?

Brad Crowell 15:12

Okay. Amazing. I really can't wait to talk about Joanna Vargas. She is an absolute rocket like rock star rocket like craziness she she's like a. She's like a bottle rocket, I mean every rocket you can imagine, she's that.

Lesley Logan 15:27

She's fire. She’s fireworks, she's glitter that just enters the room.

Brad Crowell 15:34

Yeah, (Lesley: She's so awesome), she's like that, the glitter all over the place. We met Joanna at a conference two years ago now or something like that, and we had a chance to, to really get to know her over six months. And what a great interview. I'm sure you kind of picked up on that if you had a chance to listen to the interview with her already, I'm sure you picked up on that. Anyway, I just wanted to do a brief intro. Joanna Vargas has been an entrepreneur since she was a little girl, like really little, I think she said at six or seven years old, she started her first entrepreneurial thing. She creates her own life and questions everything. She is a total powerhouse, and she's the host of two podcasts The Get Up Girl and Dance Your Life, and aside from that she is just a really really strong businesswoman and, you know, loves life, so it was a really great pod.

Lesley Logan 16:29

I mean, there's there, you're gonna want to listen to that interview several times and it's fine to save it and listen to it when you need it again, how she like she sold, she bought avocados from her neighbors, and then sold them back to the people she bought them from which is just like a hustler! And she called herself a hustler. So, okay, here's what I'm talking about. In the interview, you'll hear us talk about this game she used to play with her girlfriend which is called "Remember When" and they would just lay around, and they would talk about remember when... And they would just pick something out that happened in the future, but they're remembering it and then they would just layer on it and it makes me think of those like childhood games where you would say a line and someone else's a line. (Brad:... whisper down the lane) Is that what it's called?

Brad Crowel 17:15

No, no, no. It's no, I think it's almost like you're telling a story but you can change the, you get to change the story. You have like five words to change. (Lesley: Yes) I can't remember what that...

Lesley Logan 17:27

Someone will tell us on Instagram. Anyways, um, I love this and so on the spot in the interview, she and I played Remember When. (Brad: Yeah) Let me just tell you (Brad: It was pretty fun), Joanna and I have only hung out two times around 50 other people. And we had another moment where we were doing photo shoots, but she was in her picture taken and I was getting my picture was taken. And so, you can play Remember When with a complete stranger or someone you barely know or somebody you kind of know or your best friend, and I really want to make this like a date thing, babe, I want to put this in our calendar.

Brad Crowell 17:58

Okay

Lesley Logan 17:58

Okay

Brad Crowell 17:59

Remember When

Lesley Logan 18:00

Remember When

Brad Crowell 18:00

Put in the calendar?

Lesley Logan 18:00

Put it in the calendar. I want us to play Remember When, because in the interview Joanna and I did this and we listened to it, because we bring up Oprah calling, and then, I think it was me, but maybe it wasn't but I thought I said, and then we told her we can't do that day can you do this day instead? And then, Oprah changed her schedule. And let me just tell you.. when I came out of the interview, I was like, Oprah's gonna change her schedule for me! I was on fire from playing Remember When. In that moment, it just made me feel so much extra and I think it's really easy to get exhausted from the day today. And when you need to feel a little bit extra, I want you to call someone and play Remember When so that's my favorite talking point.

Brad Crowell 18:49

Yeah that was pretty cool.

Lesley Logan 18:49

It's really hard to pick a favorite, but that's the one.

Brad Crowell 18:52

I had a question for you (Lesley: Okay) about something that you both referenced. You referenced this thing called open loops, but I didn't really know what it was. And I thought it might make sense to just kind of explain that a little bit.

Lesley Logan 19:06

So that's a great question, and partly because Joanna and I are both huge believers of openness, we're like, everyone must know what an open loop is. So, thank you for asking about open loop. As human beings we like certainty. Okay, we don't let.. We need change because that is like the only thing that is certain in life is that everything will change. But we like to pretend like we know what's going to happen next, which is why the pandemic was such a like thing, because all of a sudden, there was nothing certain, but nothing's ever been certain, but our brain likes certainty. (Brad: Okay) So, when you ask your brain a question. We've talked about this with our AGENCY group, babe. When you ask a person like, “Do you know anyone who could take Pilates with me?” That is a question that actually is a closed loop because they go yes or no. Right? But when you ask them, “Who do you know who would take Pilates with me?” (Brad: Love this) It is an open loop. (Brad: Okay), so, in that same way of changing the question that opens a loop. (Brad: Yeah) Open loops are putting a question mark on something that can't be a yes or no answer, it has to you, you're, you actually are asking your brain a question and not purposely not letting your brain answer it right away.

Brad Crowell 20:29

So that's interesting because I think that I heard this growing up and that your brain will subconsciously work on an answer, even when you're sleeping, even when you're awake, like you can, start the brain processing something and then like, days later you'll be like. Aha! It happened, it's there. And I've done that, strategically over the years. Like, okay, I'm going to start dwelling on this props of this issue, this problem, this this puzzle, this thing, or conceptualizing it or I'll like start thinking about it, and then, but I know I don't have the answer, but I want to consume the information and let my brain just start working on it.

Lesley Logan 21:09

Oh yeah, it's why procrastination is not bad if you do it strategically, (Brad: Interesting) And if you like. If you know you need to work on something you ask yourself, an open loop question on the thing. (Brad: Yeah), and then you procrastinate in air quotes (if you can't you can't see if you're listening but the youtubers can). And you procrastinate on it. Your brain is working on it so then when you actually go to sit down and do it before it's due. You have it all that, it's all...

Brad Crowell 21:34

Yeah. So this is actually, that's really interesting. It’s just how I work. (Lesley: I know) Just literally how I work.

Lesley Logan 21:39

I know you're an open looper.

Brad Crowell 21:40

So because what I'll do is I'll say alright if it's still on Friday. Today I'm gonna think about it. Tomorrow I'm gonna visualize it in my head, I'm gonna actually like, I pull the pieces together. I like, I need it. I'm also the person that like really needs to see all the parts of a puzzle, like I need to lay them all out in front of me and go what order they go and, you know, and then (Lesley: It's different processes) And, and then, but then I can build it almost in my head, and then I sit down and I actually build it.

Lesley Logan 22:09

Yeah

Brad Crowell 22:09

And this is how I build websites, this is how I problem solve. This is, yeah, all the things - that's fastinating.

Lesley Logan 22:15

You also do this just in life you're like, “Hey, you want to know something?” And then he doesn't say anything! And you know what, this is proof that brains don't like open loops and it wants to figure out the thing, because I'm sitting there going, and then getting agitated. What do I want to know? So anyways, (Brad: I actually do that) we talked about what open loops are and and her famous open loop is: How does it get better than this? How does it get better than this? And she challenged my question of, I'm always asking people if you can't do a Pilates exercise, what can you do, what else can you do? And it is very easy for you to go, well what can I do, and like to change the connotation. So we talked about, probably not on this podcast but in another inner other talk because Joanna and I just can't stop talking to each other. What else is possible, right now?

Brad Crowell 23:11

Yeah

Lesley Logan 23:11

What else is possible right now? And it is awesome and I love that. And so if you cannot say what

Brad Crowell 23:18

Same thing with the curious, like being curious.

Lesley Logan 23:22

Being curious? (Brad: Yeah) Oh yeah, she talked about curiosity and so good. But anyway okay, basically we are just talking about how awesome the interview is so go back and listen, (Brad: Yeah) save it, share it with a friend who needs it because it is fire, she is you. You can't not. Brad's gonna hate I just said that you can't not feel like empowered after listening to that you have so many options that go off. Okay.

Brad Crowell 23:43

Yeah, also stated as ‘you will feel empowered.’

Lesley Logan 23:47

Well that's what you're here for, babe, for the people who don't like double negatives, you can, you can translate it to a positive for them.

Brad Crowell 23:55

Alright, so finally let's talk about the BE IT actions from this interview. What bold, executable intrinsic or targeted action items? Can we take away from your convo with her, and I thought I'd jump in first and just say one thing that I noticed wasn't anything you talked about. There wasn't like an actual talking point you had. If you go back and you listen to this interview, I am pretty sure she used your name, Lesley 50 times. (Lesley: I know) She says it in almost every sentence (Lesley: She does) Lesley, you know what Lesley, you know, this Lesley. Lesley right and I, and I picked up on it, like maybe halfway through two thirds of the way through and I was just like, Now I was listening for it and then I heard it the rest of the way through. And I thought wow, she is just so amazing at connecting to people in how she engages with them, she focuses on them. She speaks their name she knows them, (Lesley: Oh yeah) it is, this is obviously a sales tactic for those of you who have ever

Lesley Logan 24:54

She wasn't selling. Only her thoughts to me like she wasn't selling anything.

Brad Crowell 24:58

Right, well I think for her it's habit now (Lesley: Yeah) it's just simply habit right so it doesn't matter if she's in a sales call or not, but I, I really, I noticed that, and I thought, “Man, that is amazing, that is definitely something that you can straight up take away.” So if you're trying to ever go and connect with other people, using their name is so important.

Lesley Logan 25:22

So, I will just like total plug, not sponsored by this podcast, but ProfitablePilates.com has a course with her on how to create clients for life. (Brad: Yeah) And she talked about saying, saying people's name. And she talked about how to. And she also talked about how to remember people's names. So if you're like, I don't remember anyone's name, hold on, that is a closed loop, and she'll teach you how to do that. But what that made me feel in my own interview with her was that she saw me, (Brad: Yeah, sure) And she was totally like that was like a conversation she and I was, she and I were having. And I was on her Get Up Girl podcast recently. She said my name so much, I started saying her name, I was like, you know what, Joanna? And I was like, I feel like I gotta say it every sentence because, but it was like, why not, why not say people's names. So anyway, I love that, of course, you saw that.

Brad Crowell 26:14

Well, same thing. What about you?

Lesley Logan 26:17

Oh, okay, this is really big to me because, um, I think we hold ourselves back by telling ourselves a story and in her action items of be it till you see it, she says, Everything is a choice. (Brad: Yeah), everything is a choice and this is really hard when like, ish is hitting your fucking fan. I don't know why. (Brad: You believe the first one) I believe the first one. But the second one is important. So, look. We will have different guests on this podcast that are gonna have different things, and, and maybe you're like, “My, my shit isn't as big as theirs.” Whatever. What are you going through right now? It can suck, even if it's not traumatic or cancer or any of these things. I have definitely been there. People are just now hearing that I've been homeless three times and they're like, “Whoa, I didn't know that but you.” Well, right. You didn't know me when I was homeless, that's okay and. And also, it wasn't. I told myself I wasn't homeless enough because I didn't live on the streets. But what I didn't do was go, oh, wow is me, I have no place to live. I told myself on my especially my last one I was like, you are choosing to go for a bigger life than what you have, you are making this big, brave choice and I may, I made it a choice that I was living that way, and it made it made it so much more fun is the wrong word but powerful and and purposeful and and when other issues happen because...

Brad Crowell 27:48

It makes it more doable. (Lesley Logan: Made it more doable) You can embrace it. (Lesley: Yeah) and if it sucks

Lesley Logan 27:52

And I could own it like I don't have a place to live because I did this and I don't have a car because I made a left turn in a different spot.

Brad Crowell 27:59

Yeah, so I mean, you know, I think it's a profound idea that you have a choice. (Lesley: Yeah), that life is not happening to you, (Lesley: It's not happening for you) it's not happening for you and you can choose how to take it (Lesley: Yeah) and that’s a hard, that you're essentially flipping the perspective on his head, right? It's a hard thing to do. But I mean, imagine if you can find the good in a situation.

Lesley Logan 28:25

Well and also like, What possibility that creates? Right? Like, (Brad: Sure) you can actually ask yourself, “Okay, (Brad: Go back to the open loop.) I wonder why this is happening for me.” (Brad: Yeah), I wonder why this is happening for me, I wonder who I get to be because of this. (Brad: Yeah), and I certainly would not be the person that I am. And I definitely wouldn't be married to you. If I hadn't made the choices that put me through a trial that I probably wouldn't pray on anyone. But it made me who I am and so that's why I really loved that.

Brad Crowell 28:56

I think that's amazing.

Lesley Logan 28:59

Yeah, well, everyone. Thank you. I am so excited you joined us today. We really, I need you to know I'm so grateful that you're here. Otherwise, I would just be talking in a microphone in one of our rooms in our house for no reason whatsoever but it's true. I truly believe that we all have different people in our lives who say things that make us think of things, that make us make choices, that make us do things, that make us become the people we want to be. And so if you have any questions or you need if you're going to use any of these tips, please let us know, send us a DM on the @be_it_pod on Instagram, share this podcast, screenshot it, take, put your takeaway tag us, let us know, we really want to see you, Be It Till You See It.

Brad Crowell 29:44

We'll catch you on the next episode.

---

Lesley Logan

That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast!

One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate this show and leave a review.

And, follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to podcasts.

Also, make sure to introduce yourself over on IG at be_it_pod! Share this episode with who ever you think needs to hear it.

Help us help others to be it till you see it by leaving a 5 star review and sharing this episode with that person who just popped into your mind.

Until next time remember to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT!

---

Lesley Logan

‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.

Brad Crowell

It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan

Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell

And to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast's very first episode where your host, Lesley Logan, interviews the amazing Joanna Vargas! Joanna is a natural born entrepreneur and has always worked for herself. Together they cover everything from how to stop creating drama in your own life, to questioning everything, to how to create positive change and make your life even better than it is right now. You'll love Joanna's enthusiasm for life, her fiery spirit and her insight.

If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at [email protected] .

And as always, if you’re enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.

In this episode you'll learn about:

• It’s not wrong or right, it’s all a choice, what can it create, will it create?
• Open loops
• Our brains want answers, they want a period. Completion. Judgement is a period. Don’t put a period on it.
• As a young girl I was very aware. Awareness, is it cool to be aware?
• Lemonade stand, unique ways to stand out, stand apart
• The planet grows and grows, changes and does whatever she needs to do to grow
• “What do you know?” Get curious
• we’re brought up to listen to our parents, they know everything, we’re not supposed to be curious
• LL: What would I be doing if I was already where I want to be?
• Remember When
• or “Why?”
• thinking, asking a curious question
• PLAY A GAME
• We will do everything so that we can be right
• there’s a lie here
• we will find the signs/evidence in it so that we’re right
• Top 5 Fears
• “this feels heavy, so I’m not gonna do it”… is that a lie?
• Notice how she uses your NAME??? She says “Lesley” in every other sentence
• How can you partner up?
• Play “Remember When”
• Action items from Joanna Vargas
• You have a choice. Life isn’t happening TO you

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser and Castbox.

Lesley Logan Resources

• Lesley Logan website
• Be It Till You See It Podcast
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan
• Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube
• Profitable Pilates

Follow Lesley on Social Media

• Instagram
• Facebook
• LinkedIn

Joanna Vargas Bio:

Joanna Vargas creates her life. A powerhouse entrepreneur right out of high school, Joanna never worked corporate and chose the path less traveled. At 20 years old she formed her corporation, took all of her savings and produced a dance showcase in Hollywood called The King of Pop. With Joanna’s quick (some might say crazy) work ideas, this venture quickly turned into a dance competition called Maxt Out now going on its 20th year.

Using keen street smarts and with no professional business training, she created Jayvee Dance studio by the time she was 24 and built that business to 700 students. A true serial entrepreneur, Joanna sold that dance studio and prepared to design her next download (from The Universe).

Joanna recognized a gap in conversations about mindset and physical form when it came to fitness and responded with the solution, The Fit Factor Studio; a wildly successful brick and mortar fitness studio catering to women, their mindset and living fully. In the process, Joanna’s own work-life philosophy, built on the principles of asking better questions and getting really curious about life, inspired her to make the choice to close the physical doors and go completely virtual with The Live Fully Academy. Now serving women all over the world with her Three F’s; Form, Fundamentals and Fun, a new thought leader for Gen X and Millennial women.

Known for her open book candor and positive vibe, Joanna proposed to her city that she start a 5K run, it was then the Pumpkin Run 1K/5K/10K Halloween event was born. Her superpower is getting butts in seats, and this run brings 1,500 runners every year with no paid advertisements (a little fun fact for our fellow entrepreneurs). By the time she was 32 she was running four businesses and choosing for her. With learning how to choose herself, she now facilitates other female business owners to do the same.

This summer Joanna launched two new podcasts - The Get Up Girl and Dance Your Life. The Get Up Girl is a rally cry for all the women who are different and were taught to choose for others, who are now ready to Get Up and choose for themselves. Dance Your Life is a podcast of dance conversations, for dancers, by dancers and developed to educate dancers all over the world with stories and wisdom.

Awarded Woman of the Year Congressional Honor by Congressman Adam Schiff and Woman of the Year Congressional Honor by Judy Chu, Joanna is a well respected female business owner and creator. Named Business of the Year by her city along with many other business awards, Joanna has earned her way to the frontlines of business during times when choosing yourself and the roads less traveled were not celebrated. With the entirety of her career devoted to inspiring her sisters to wake up and live fully, 2020 is poised to be Joanna’s biggest year yet. The Get Up Girl is her latest creation to surpass her upper limits and expand energetically to avenues she hasn’t discovered yet, and YOU are invited for the ride as she redefines what getting back up really looks and feels like.

Transcription:

INTRODUCTION:

Hello! Oh my God I am so excited that you're here. I am so excited that you are here. This is by far one of my most favorite interviews I've done so far truly love this woman I really can't even wait, I'm gonna dive into her in a second, but first one to say, I am so happy that you're here listening. You know, you could be doing a lot of things right now, and you are listening to this podcast. And I know, it's because you're looking for just a little something to get you through your day something remind you of who you are and why you're here. And it's I'm so grateful that you are taking your time maybe you're in a run or a walk, or doing errands and I'm happy to be in your ears. And if you're watching this on YouTube. Hello! I'm waiving right at you. So, you all, when I, when I think about the different people that I want to speak to, to bring to you. Part of it is my own oh I really want to talk to this person and cause I want to know what's going on their mind. This woman, you'll hear in the interview, but she, she truly changed the way I thought about things in the morning in one day, we we're out of the photoshoot and you'll hear the whole story in the interview so I want to give it away but I'm not kidding. Because of that moment, it changed how I ask questions, what I do and how I approach so many things. And this is what's so fun. You can feel like you're freaking absolutely 100% awesome because you are. And you can feel like you're not and that's okay but you're awesome and I'm so happy you're here so you can hear that reminder from me and the guests but you can feel like you're there. And then there can be this other little like little thing that someone says that like just moves that needle forward in a different way that helps you maybe into the freaking straight ahead you're looking a little bit to the left. And it's like, Oh, there's the thing that's that's the thing that's been missing link. And so, here, let me just edify her cuz she's freaking awesome please look in the show notes for her full for amazing, incredible 100% by out that will just have you going yeah. Wow. She is been awesome since she was a little girl, and maybe it will help you think about your whole life and journey and what got you to where you are right now, when you hear and read her by out. Cause like oh look at all the things that make you who you are. So Joanna Vargas Cradle to Life. A powerhouse entrepreneur right out of school. Joanna never worked corporate and chose the path less travelled. At 20 years old she formed her corporation, took all of her savings, and produced a dance showcase in Hollywood called The King of Pop. With Joanna's quick, some might say crazy work ideas, this venture quickly turned into a dance competition called Max Out which now going on its 20th year. Using keen street smarts, and with no professional business training she created JB dance studio by the time she was 24, and built that business to 700 students. A true serial entrepreneur Joanna sold that dance studio and prepared to design her next download From the Universe. Joanna recognize the gap of compositions about minds in physical form when it came to fitness, and responded with a solution.

The Fit Factor Studio while the successful Brick and Mortar Fitness Studio catering to women their minds and living fully. In the process Joanna's own workout philosophy builds on the principles at asking better questions and getting really curious about life, inspire for them make the choice to close the physical doors and go completely virtual with the Live Fully Academy. Now serving women all over the world with the three F's - Form Fundamentals and Fun a new loop thought leader for Gen X and millennial women.

Joanna has two new podcast the Get Up Girl and Dance your Life. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I need you to listen to this whole interview she is fire we go all over the place together I feel like we are definitely sisters in a past life, with a lot of fun chatting about different things and I really want to make sure that you hear her tips at the end because she is not just a girl who talks the talk and inspires. She is a girl who has super actionable things that if you start to incorporate your life, even one of these things, I know, it's going to help you prioritize yourself in a different way, and really make sure that you are I mean living flat like she says.

So, also, I know that this is the hardest things it's like intro-ing this episodes and not giving away all the things. But I can't even wait for you to hear something she does with one of her friends that I, I swear, I may have to do this with my husband on a monthly basis of a date doing this thing because it's like just such a fun way to look at the future of your life, and I can't even wait for you to listen to that.

So with that, we'll be right back for the full interview after this message.

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Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I’m Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I’ve trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it’s the antidote to fear. Each week, my guests will bring Bold, Executable, Intrinsic and Targeted steps that you can use to out yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It’s a practice, not a perfect. Let’s get started.

EPISODE:

Lesley Logan - 06:33

Alright, everyone, I have the Joanna Vargas here with us today. And I'm, y'all I'm so grateful. And I met this woman. And we were in a mastermind. There's like 50 people, but we kept getting paired together. And there was something about her that I just wanted to know more about, and the way things worked out. Because even though we both lived in LA at the time, you just don't see people who live in LA. It's like, it's not really like that easy. And so, anyways, right? It's just not like, you're like, Oh, yeah, I live so close. But you'll probably see the people who live out of LA more often than you see those that live in it. And traffic is real. And, and then when the mastermind ended, I really was a bit bummed that I didn't get to know you more. And so we were luckily paired up on this shoot one day with Girl Squad Inc. And you've I don't know if you know, but I was having a really low day that day, it was just not, not my best day. And I texted Monica I said, my higher self, is like not showing up to the shoot. I'm hoping by the time the makeup and clothes, come on that like I'm as she says, I'm gonna be it. But I just want you to know if I'm a little low. That's what's going on. Anyways, there is no way to be low around you. Because you, you just exude love, joy. And, and I know that it's not. It's not always easy to do those things. But you really show up with that energy. And I couldn't help but like, get into it too. And we got to have dinner together. And you told me about 'I wonder' and how does it get better than this? And so, I want to give you a moment to introduce yourself but I just have to share that because as you listen to this, if you're wondering like, what do I love this woman so much. This is you'll you'll know why because I love her since the day that we sat down and I even have a tattoo on my hand. Because of her, because, because you really made me have a possibility to step higher into myself and more into myself. So thank you for being here. Will, you tell people what happened, who you are, and, and how you got to be so awesome.

Joanna Vargas - 08:45

Lesley, thank you for that. I really appreciate you saying that. And that, we were able to connect that day because I totally get what you said out of 50 people and then you know what a possibility that you and I connected. And I am a born entrepreneur. I've never gone corporate. I started a business as soon as I was 18 years old. I was always very different. So since I was a very young girl, I was always very aware Lesley, but pretending I wasn't. And really pushing and mutilating myself into this form and structure of what this reality says a woman or person is supposed to be. And I, just always felt like just different and awkward. And, as I've become to realize who I am as an entrepreneur, I've fallen in love with myself and I fall in love with the process and the journey and now, I share it with others because what it is it's truly happiness and it does sound cliche, Lesley, like happiness and how the hell do I get it Joanna like, Okay, I get it. And so, what I love to do is actually break it down for people so it's not a Instagram quote tile, it's not a philosophical "think positive" because some girls, I mean, some days, you know, we don't want to freakin' think positive, I want to punch somebody, you know, throw it out. And like then I feel badly, because I'm not thinking positively right. And then I judge the hell out of myself. So that's, that's where I am right now. And still in the entrepreneurial game. I've owned a dance studio, a Fitness Studio, produce large events. And here's the difference, Lesley, I used to only see myself as that person. And now I see myself - I'm not even sure yet. The question now is, who am I? Where before I thought, that's who I was. And that's it. And I was only defined by what I created in this planet. And now it's like, Who am I today? And that's who I am.

Lesley Logan - 10:50

I mean, so many things that I resonate with in there and I'm sure others do. But I love that you shared so open and honestly about the Who am I? Because that question, I think is it's kind of a detriment. Like, we're all supposed to know who we are. And I think it's so easy to then just put a label on yourself. Right? Like, I'm just a Pilates instructor when I'm not just Pilates instructor and it's like, I'm just a business coach. Well, not just. And so it's that I feel like it's probably a journey, and I'll learn who I am when I'm looking down at the funeral of people talking about who I was.

Joanna Vargas - 11:23

I love that Lesley. Oh, my gosh, can I jump into a story because just the other night, I was talking to my boyfriend and I totally actualized him as well, we could talk about that as well. And we were talking about, how he had labeled me already. And it was interesting that we had this awareness that I shared something with him early on in the relationship and that he had unconsciously labeled me, that way. And now he's tiptoeing around me not wanting to say something, because I am this person. And I said, look on, I am going to change every day, every five seconds, every five minutes. So ask me a question. Because when you don't ask me a question, you automatically think I'm that same person. And let me tell you, in a year, in 10 years, when I'm 85 years old, I'm going to be so different. Please don't put me in a box and a label. And what I thought, Lesley, was like, Oh, my gosh, I had this big awareness. I've done this to past relationships, men, women, it doesn't matter. You know, romantic, business-wise, I met them. So let's say, Lesley, I met you. And now I go, she was like this on day one. So now she has to be like that every single day for as long as I know her, rather than allowing, having the allowance for her to grow and I'm growing. So, I do that to others. People do that to me. And I'm like, so they met me at 18. And I'm supposed to be the same person I was when I was 18. And so, I really see that we have these expectations on people on relationships, and it's really been in my world lately.

Lesley Logan - 13:03

That took me back to this time. I remember, I didn't know a lot about who I was yet because I was in college, but I was going back to my hometown. I'm from a very small hometown, and the girls get pregnant, pretty young and married and that's kind of the thing and I like I got out. I mean, if you don't know where I'm from, there's a town called Lodi. Someone wrote a song about it (Joanna Vargas: Lodi!) about Oh Lord, stuck in Lodi again, I cannot, I cannot get stuck in this town. And and so when I came back, I was just about to graduate college. Actually, I was there for graduation. And I was managing a jewelry store. So like here I am, like not even 21 yet and managing a jewel, a high end accessory store in Orange County at South Coast Plaza. Like, in my little town life. I'm like, I've made it

Joanna Vargas - 13:50

You made it!

Lesley Logan - 13:52

I've made it. And I was, I was excited to go this graduation because I was going to see people from high school and I was like, Oh my God when they ask like because I grew up very awkward. I did not feel like I belonged in high school. I'm sure everyone thought I did. And we all think we don't belong, right? But I really didn't feel that, for so many reasons. And so here I am. I've made I can't wait to tell people that like, I'm this big time. jewelry store manager right in, in Orange County. I live by the beach. And I see this girl I met in sixth grade. And she has, she's got two kids. It's been three years and I think she's pregnant with a third. And she said, Oh my gosh, Lesley Logan. I said. Hi, you know, and she goes, "What's going on?" And I said, "Oh, like I'm a jewelry store manager in Orange County. I'm going to this college and I got one more year left and live by the beach. It's so fun." And she's like, "Oh that's it?"

Joanna Vargas - 14:46

We're so cute.

Lesley Logan - 14:48

It's so funny because like, the labels we put on people, you might think the label you've even put on yourself is like spectacular and it sucks to somebody. So it's just. And then from that moment on, I was like. Whoa, who? What am I trying to do here? And so that just took me back because it's funny. People put labels on us and we can put labels on people or ourselves and it really doesn't do anyone a good job.

Joanna Vargas - 15:13

Yes, right in a box. what's right, what's wrong? It's like, it's exhausting. Oh my gosh, that's a great story. It's really cool.

Lesley Logan - 15:23

I was like, oh, okay, that was like my little, little angel going, "Sit down, girl. You're not there yet. We got things to do." Um, so, I, you know, you say you're a born entrepreneur. And this is something that I think is is really cool because you know, everyone look in the show notes her bio is freaking awesome, inspirational. What what she has done? What, what do I mean? I'm sure people to have these stories. But when they're little kids, and they like sold lemonade, like, what was it that made you want to be an entrepreneur at 18? Did you know what it was?

Joanna Vargas - 15:55

Yeah, I had already started when I was gosh, six or seven. I used to go to my neighbors' houses and pick their avocados from their trees and put it in my little red radio flyer. And then I would go back to their house Lesley and sell it back to them for like 50 cents. I was just a hustler. I was a little hustler before J Lo was a hustler. And I but I didn't realize what I was doing. I was always creating, Lesley, whatever it was, I was going to create something. Like, oh, I'm gonna sell this. I used to go, we used to go to Mexico, we were a little kid, you know, like, go to TJ and then I begged my mom, and I always I knew how to sell, I could even sell to my Mom. Mom, please buy me these bags of candies, because I'm going to go, and then I'm going to sell them for 25 cents, and I had the whole thing. So I would sell her, then I would go to school and sell them to my friends. And then I would do lemonade stands. But here's the thing, I would always want to out create what I did before. Like, okay, those kids did eliminate standard, what I'm going to do is I'm going to add a lemon wedge, and I'm going to add a straw. I used to do things like that. And I'm and then Lesley, I used to get a smaller cup. And I was doing this not even realizing, how I was out creating what I did yesterday. If I make a smaller cup, I could sell it for five cents, because it's less but I know people are going to tip me and give me a $1. But if I say it's 50 cents, they'll probably give me 50 cents. My brain was already starting to move things around like chess that way. And, and then in high school, I was just always wanting to, to create, that's the best way I can describe it. I wanted to create, I wanted to create, if I wasn't creating, I was bored to death. And when I was bored, Lesley, I would create drama in my life. And I know a lot of us on this planet. As humans, we create drama, because we're bored. But we don't know we're bored. So we'll create stuff, just like stupid stuff. I still do it till today, like my money situations, I'll create drama with my money, just so I'm entertained with my money because my credit cards are here. And this is like what are you doing, Joanna, because you're so bored. Because I can do 10 million things at once. But, I was always taught, Lesley, not to do 10 million things. Focus on one thing, you should do this. And like I said at the beginning, when he asked me I'm like I was always different. I can always do 10 million things. And now I've really fallen in love with that I can do a lot of things and that I can work last minute and that I am a procrastinator, and I do work better when I'm a procrastinator. So what it's what I'm doing, Lesley, is I'm taking reality and I'm flipping it upside down. And it's like, everything is opposite. Everything is opposite. Everything is opposite. Everything is opposite. And let me tell you, when you do that, it Fs with your brain. It really does. It's like brain bombs. Like what, because we're so programmed, that procrastination is bad. And then when you live and go, I'm an amazing procrastinator, and I'm gonna rock the hell out of this. It really messes with your brain. So that's what I've been playing with. I know this is really left field, but I'm not sure if that's where you want to go.

Lesley Logan - 19:18

No, I love it. I'm loving left field. I'm left handed.

Joanna Vargas - 19:23

Okay, so let's go there.

Lesley Logan - 19:25

So but I, here's what I, what I love about this is like, you know, I think we are told something and so if we do it differently, even if it's working, we're questioning if I should be doing it that way we're saying I know I'm not supposed to doing it this way, I'm not supposed to procrastinating and it's like I too procrastinate on purpose very well. Right, like I, I, I find that the I know that I have to do the thing. And the thing is on my mind and because it's on my mind. It's in there and it's percolating. It's coming up with things and then I'm exposing myself to other things. And I'm like, okay, it's due on Tuesday. And I know for a week it's due. But I'm the life I'm living between now. And when it's due, it all affects it. And so, you know, I definitely wouldn't write a 50 page paper the night before I've done that. It's not pleasant. But, um, you know, my team is like the news they want the newsletters due a week before, this is my team, right? My husband and all of them. They're very organized. They're very detailed people. So all the due dates are a week before everything. And I've told them. You will get it two days before, because that's when it's due to me. And so I, I know that it's there. But the difference is like, whether I let the procrastination stress me out or inspire, right, and I think that what you are doing, Joanna, is that you've just been like, I'm gonna question everything I was ever told is wrong. And I'm going to explore how I can make it right. Because I'm different. I'm, I'm Joanna and no one can be me. And so I think that's really cool. If you're listening this, it's, you know, maybe you can only focus on one thing at a time. That's okay. But do it if that's because you know, that, that's what you can do. And not because someone told you that.

Joanna Vargas - 21:06

Yes. Oh, Lesley, because then we'll use the tools against us. Well, Joanna said procrastination is better. I'm like, no, no. What I, what I would like to say is, I'm saying everything is a question. Everything is choice. Everything is choice. And when we believe that we don't have choice, then we become small. And so I'm not saying that I always procrastinate. I'm saying I ask a question and go, you know what it feels like to procrastinate right now. And even that word feels like icky to me, but it's the best word I can use to describe the energy that I'm trying to say. Right? But really, what it just means is, I just do it when I do it. That's, that's what it really means to me. The word procrastination, I choose to do it, when I want to do it. That's it. It's almost like food. People go, what's your diet? What do you eat? And I'm like, I just eat when I'm hungry. That's it. It's real simple. I just eat, I asked my body what it wants, I eat when I'm hungry. And that's real. It's, it's really that simple. You know, and I'm not judging the hell out of a piece of food. Because there's just so much judgment on this planet. Like everything is a judge-able, judge-able, judge-able thing. We're gonna judge this, this is right. This is wrong. This is black. This is white. This is up. This is down. This is left. This is right. It's like, Oh, my gosh, what if it's all of it. And my word for this year, Lesley, I have my little my intent bracelet is the word "And". I've really been obsessed and like in love with this word. "And" because "and" for me is abundance. I am nice and I'm a bitch. I am beautiful and I could be really ugly. You know, I am so sweet and sometimes I could be a fire breathing dragon, you know, and there's no right or wrong. It's all a choice, Lesley, of what's going to create more for that moment. So here's a little story. A couple days ago, I was having a little quarrel with my boyfriend. And we were communicating and talking about, you know, what just happened. And I asked, "What's going to create more right now?" And the awareness that I got was me throwing a tantrum, was going to create a lot. And I did I threw a tantrum, I was on the phone, I was cursing I was I'm like, I'm pissed off. I'm so, I'm so annoyed. And I'm so bitter, and I threw a magical tantrum. We hung up. And the next day there was so much drama created out of that tantrum. But I could have looked at it and judged it and go. No, Joanna, you should not throw a tantrum, or only two year olds throw tantrums, etc, etc. But there's no right or wrong. There was no judging on it. It was just what's going to create more. And a lot of times we judge things, let's say for example, because of the pandemic right now, we judge the virus. I don't want to get the virus because it's bad. And I wonder if the question is 'what's going to create more right now?' And sometimes I wonder if you got the virus will it create more for you? I've known people that got the virus and they made changes in their life and it actually created more for them. Like the planet, us, having this pandemic has created more for the planet in weird ways and crazy ways, but it's created so much. Do you get what I'm saying? But if we look at it is wrong or right? What can it create? Right?

Lesley Logan - 24:22

Because you're you're definitely saying like if we look at this tantrum as bad and you shouldn't have a tantrum anymore, you're actually taking away the lessons that you could learn from the tantrum. So maybe, yes, you don't have to have as big of a tantrum next time or the have the tantrum next time. But to judge the tantrum, you discount all that you get from it. And it's true. Like, I mean, there's so much interesting things about I think people really don't, don't often see how things are happening for them. And it is terrible. I hate that at this point of recording this like half a million people have lost their lives to this and, and but because of COVID my entire business has changed in a way that is for me. (Joanna Vargas: Yeah) You know, and, and I think it goes back to what you were saying is choice. Instead of sitting back and going. Oh my gosh, 60% of my business for the year is canceled. I guess I'll just teach virtually still. And I just will wait till this is over. Instead of taking that, and being like, Well, what can I do? Like asking the question I and I, while you're talking about judgment, it made me think like judgment is a period and you are so like a question mark to life. Like, you're always questioning life. And when you judge you put a period on it, and our brains like closed loops, so they will just take that judgment in and they're like, that's it. But you were the one who really reminded me about how amazing open loops are, which is why I have 'I wonder' on my hand, because I, it's so easy for me from the way I was raised. I was not raised by entrepreneurs, no one in my family really is. So having this. Having this open loop, I can think about it. Like, I wonder how I'm going to do this right now. I'm like, Oh, we can't, we can't travel anymore. So nothing we can do for this business is going to happen. Well, what can I do? And it's funny, when you just put that out there, your brain starts thinking about things. But the period on that would have just, I would still be in a 500 square foot apartment. Probably, looking at my laptop, sitting on my bed because we didn't even have a table - there was no room. So I just really love that you. You talk about judgment, and you're and you're seeing the the appreciation and the positivity and the, and the possibilities. And all the things whether they are in air quotes, good or bad. I think that's really cool.

Joanna Vargas - 26:38

Lesley, I love that way that you said a period. Yeah, it's putting the end to the book. If when you answer something. Because our brains are not that smart, we think they are. But actually, infinite intelligence is way more, has way more possibilities than what our brains can put on. And what our brains do is they put a period, and they conclude. So whenever our brain wants answers, and when we're willing to not have the answer, and to have the awareness because answers and awareness are different. And some people say intuition. And for me, the word awareness is a little more lighter. But awareness is like you knowing. Animals have awareness. Animals are the most aware on this planet. They function from awareness. Like there could be a rabbit and rabbits won't mate if they know that there's going to be, like a drought coming. So they won't mate. Right? They already can feel it. And I wonder as humans, do we have that same awareness that animals have, like in Thailand, remember what the big tsunami back so many years ago, and so many animals went to high ground a day, days before the tsunami? That's awareness. Right?

Lesley Logan - 27:59

Right. That's insane

Joanna Vargas - 28:00

Right. And I'm like saying it right. I mean, that's so cool. I am so intrigued by that. I'm like, Oh, my God, it's amazing. Elephants that had been chained down, you know, in Thailand, they use elephants and for, for fun anyway. But they had left the chains and walked away. Everybody's like, "Where are these animals going?" That's awareness. And I'm like, so the question for me, Lesley, is how much more awareness can I have? And like I said, at the beginning, I'm like, I was always so aware as a young girl, but I was pretending I wasn't. And so that's why I always kind of felt disconnected from this world. Because I was so aware. Like, I always knew stuff. But I'm like, nobody else knows this. I'm the only one. So then I thought I was the weirdo.

Lesley Logan - 28:44

So I and I love this. I want to go back to this. And because I too, I think I was totally forget thinking I wasn't aware. But it's because it's not, it wasn't cool to be aware. It wasn't cool to stand out. It still isn't cool. I have a client who's I think she's 16 now and, you know, we're talking about something and she said, "Yeah, but you know, the other kids in school don't like that. Whatever it is, and I just want to be the only one out." And I was like, "It's okay to be the only person out and you need to know that I'm not saying this is the time you choose that don't you know, you listen to you, but someone needs to tell you that it's so okay to be the only person who disagrees with something because I wish I had known that I wish I had disagreed more I think I would have I would have learned more from that." That, that tension. And then then I did and just like going with the flow and like pretending I didn't know that I was aware that I had uniqueness around things but a unique way of thinking about things and, and, you know, in business I everybody who's listening is probably thinking, yeah, but someone's already doing that. They might even look at you and I go I want to do it. They're they're already doing it. And it's like actually like, you can do it because you're so unique. Like you can't put that away what you were telling that story about the lemonade. You're like, Okay, well they did that, but I'm gonna have a straw and I'm gonna have a smaller cup, like you're finding unique ways to stand out. And so I just I think that I wish more girls specifically knew that it was okay to, to actually like to be unique.

Joanna Vargas - 30:17

I love that you said that Lesley, because what came up for me is that the planet, okay? Does not think that way. For example, weeds will grow and they don't go, well, I'm not going to grow because that weed is higher, weeds just grow, or a bird doesn't wake up in the morning and go, well, I don't feel like chirping today cuz that bird is chirping louder, like, the planet doesn't see that. Let's look at Mother Earth, Mother Earth is infinite. If you look, she will just keep growing and growing and growing. And just she will change she will move and change and do whatever she needs to do in order to keep creating. But as humans, we don't do that. Right. And I wonder what else is possible for us as humans to to watch the planet and go wow, like I just look at nature. And I'm like, wow, how can I be more like that tree? And I know that might sound airy fairy? All good. But do they know something? Animals know something? I look at dogs. And I'm like, wow, how can it be more like a dog? Where they're just like, whatever, they have no point of view. And that's why people love them. Right? Okay, but and this is another thing. For my parents that are listening or even, you know, non parents a great question to ask somebody that feels stuck. Like, you know, when you have a girlfriend, you're talking to her whatever, and she's just stuck or your kids are stuck, or your client that's 16 is stuck. A great question is, so what do you know? What do you know about this? And you'll see, like, people's brains are like that. They're like, what do you mean? What do you mean? What do I know? What do you mean? But we're gonna start to uncreate that we don't know. Like, what do you what do you know? I remember the first time I was asked that question, and I was like. What do you mean? My logical brain was so fixated on wanting to, you know, punch that person that was asking me because I didn't know at that moment. I was so logically trained. And I was a very good little girl, even though I was in my 30s, when I was asked this question, but I was still, I'm good. Don't tell me that I know stuff. Because I don't know this. And I need the answer. And I'm paying you to give me the answer. I was very stuck on that. So I get it. And the more that I get curious, I'm like, Yeah, what do I know here? Because, Lesley, I think as we're young children are, we're brought up we're brought up not to know, our parents know everything. We and then we grow up and we're like, our parents don't know everything. I think that's why as teenagers, we get pissed off. Like I was a 12-13 year old brat, I was a horrible brat. And I really look back and I'm like, what was that? Joanna? What was? What was that bratness? And I really think because I thought that my parents knew everything. They were Superman and Superwoman. And then I'm like, oh, they're human. They don't know everything. But they're still telling me what to do. So I didn't know how to how to articulate it. So what I knew to do was to be a rebel back and roll my eyes and give attitude. But it was because I knew that I knew stuff. But everybody's looking at me like I don't. You're a child. You're dumb. Be quiet. Find the answers.

Lesley Logan - 33:29

Me, I feel like that's one of the definitions of going crazy, like. Right? Like that. Like, I love this observation. I'm sure there's like a child therapist out there going. Ha! We might have just solved all teenage angst.

Joanna Vargas - 33:41

Oh, oh, yes!

Joanna Vargas - 33:43

That's simple. I know!

Lesley Logan - 33:46

But, you know, you're I, I want to go into that word, curiosity, because I do and I remember wanting to make changes happen in my business and pretending like I didn't know and like thinking. Okay, if I just buy this next course, then I'm going learn the thing. And the being so disappointed in the course because I'm like, I did that already. Like I did. And it didn't work.

Joanna Vargas - 34:07

And it's your fault. And I wasted my money.

Lesley Logan - 34:11

And, and I'm, and I mean, I remember I was even in a mastermind, and everyone was like, giving me my own advice back on how to make more time and I'm like, Yeah, no, I know that. That's the advice I have in my course. But it's, I can't do that right now. And then I was like, I think I got a super frustrated the fact you know, you get frustrated enough, you're gonna figure it out. Because you're like, I'm so tired of being this frustration. I'm choosing to live in it. So let's figure this out. But I don't know when it was that I was like, I heard 'be more curious' or the word curiosity again, it's not like it goes away, but you kind of just become aware of it. And I'm like, I need to be a little bit more curious. What if I don't know. You know, what if I, what if I, what if I don't like, what if it isn't this answer, what if it's another thing and and using those awareness, like talent. And I remember hearing like, you know, if you can be the thing that you want to be, what would that thing? What would that person do? And I was like, what would I do if I was already where I wanted to be, and making changes, and that is when, I mean, it is not abundance. It wasn't like endless things, but it was enough ideas that my brain didn't know. It's like, oh, look what I do know. Now, look what I do know about that. And I just got stuck on that. And so I really, I really love that you talked about, Joanna, like curiosity, and, and, and coming up with these questions, because I really, I think that we, we pretend people don't know enough. So we tell them, they don't know enough, then they believe that they don't know enough. And then they're stuck. And then they go back to the people who still told them they don't know enough. And so I think as, as, as listeners, like, who do you know, that needs that question? Who do you know in your life that needs to be asked? So what do you know, right now? What do you know? I would I would challenge everyone to go do that. I want to check because I'm in love with something of that you. You did with a friend. Can you tell us about the Remember When?

Joanna Vargas - 36:10

Yeah, there's this game that I play, I have some girlfriends that know it. And it's called Remember When, and we'll just sit there. And we'll just drink coffee or sometimes just some wine. And we just say remember when and we talk about things in the past as if they've already happened. So last summer, I was sitting at the park with a girlfriend we're like, Hey, remember when you're at my wedding, she's like, Oh my gosh, and we will give details. Remember when I made that toast, and then I fell on my dress and we just start laughing, we will tell the most detailed stories. Oh my gosh, remember when we went to Vegas, and we had that phenomenal bachelorette party. And then we got free food and we didn't have to pay for anything that whole night. And then she'll come in and go. Yeah, remember when we took that helicopter, we will go on and on. Remember when that guy he came and he just spoiled the heck out of me. Another thing we do is we'll send text to each others. And we'll say, why are men so great to me? Why do men treat me like queens? Why do men buy me whatever? Like just on and on? And I'm like, Oh, yeah, why? Why is it? And then the universe will show you why men are so good do or you could say. Why are my clients just given me so much money because of nothing? And then she'll text me? Yeah. Why are they? So we're already thinking and asking a question of true curiosity. And as if it already happened. And so what find somebody out there, then you can play this game with because not everybody will get it right. And the ones that do get it, text message. Have a little session, a little zoom session get together. I really truly, it's so fun and make a game like little kids play Lesley. Right?

Lesley Logan - 37:57

This is, this is my mind is not the right word. But like, it makes me giddy because I meet so many people, you know, the typical goals. Coaching thing is to like think about your future. 10 years out five years out, and so many people if you're stuck, like I get it, you cannot think out that far. You're like. No, I am not paying the bills today, I cannot think at that point, you don't think big enough. And what I love about this is it's playful. And it's fun. And because of that you're willing to go into those big places that your like your true soul wants to have. And it's going to give you instead of like where you really want to go because jokes are all half truths, right? Or they're like, they're like, you know, so like, that's what's really fun for me. And I mean with technology. What a fun game on Marco Polo, we're like, (Joanna Vargas: Oh yeah!) we're not getting paid for this ad but like, like, I just love, like, you could be on your workday. And instead of having to wait for your friend to actually be free, you could video them and go, Okay, remember when I met the man of my dreams, and now we to get like, and then they can come back? And they and it's just this conversation that keeps on going and what it, what it comes back to the whole asking your brain questions because it's like open loops. We see evidence for what we believe to be true. And thoughts become facts, right? So they become beliefs. And so you're putting out into the universe something that you want to be true. And then you start looking for that evidence. Instead of texting the friend like we all have done like. Oh, why is everyone such a flake to me? And so then you only see flakes?

Joanna Vargas - 39:28

Yes. Because we want to be right. Let's get real. Everything we will do, Lesley so that we can be right. Just the other day, I went to this chiropractor, and it's a long story. But one of one of the things in order to get to this chiropractor was, I was fighting myself not to go. So what happened was the girl at the front had my email wrong. They messed up the times. I was supposed to be there, like, all these things were happening to make me right. So I didn't have to go, you get what I'm saying. And I was I was that horrible client there. I know they were already talking about me because when I came in, he's a healer, right? And he said, Joanna, you need to let stuff go. He's like, you were already being difficult to book you hear for this, for this appointment. And then everything in my body, Lesley, wanted to defend why I was difficult to book that appointment. And again, because I want it to be right. And it's been bugging me ever since. And I'm like, Joanna, what is that? What is it that you want to be right? What is the lie here? There's a lie here. And the lie is not him. The lie is that I always have to be right. And it doesn't matter what's going to happen regardless, you know? So anyway, we will create stuff like you said, we will find the evidence to make us right. And I was finding evidence not to go to this appointment, even though it was the best thing for me, but I was fighting it. Right. And well, and then because what we want to say, Lesley is, see, I told you, see I told you I was that that guy was a jerk. See, I told you I shouldn't have gotten to that chiropractor, right?

Lesley Logan - 41:11

Oh my god, I love this story. Because I didn't, I thought of like four different times in my life where I've definitely not wanted to do something and I'm like, "and their Zoom link is wrong. This is wrong. And now they're wasting my time."

Joanna Vargas - 41:23

I told you!

Lesley Logan - 41:26

And it's like, and it's so funny. Because if you can take a moment just to like, Okay, I'm here now, like, for whatever reason, this is happening for me? What can I learn from this? When I can have the awareness to do it, I'm always shocked and surprised. And some of my favorite people in life are from like, things that I like, like literally fought like a two year old to not do and I'm like, Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed. I could never tell that.

Joanna Vargas - 41:50

Isn't that interesting, Lesley? Even this new doctor, he's like, my favorite person now on this planet. But man, it took me a year and a half to book this appointment, Lesley, because I was thinking about it. And then, I was like, going through again, the loop that you said the period it was like, No, no, no, finally, I book it and everything. And it wasn't because I could have used the tools against me, Lesley, I could have said, See, it's not meant to be I shouldn't go right. And we do that to ourselves. Remember, I said let's flip everything upside down. So a lot of times in the metaphysical world in the spiritual world will say, See, it's not meant to be I shouldn't go to this, which I call B.S., where we're creating this, I was creating this drama, not to go because it was more pricey. This is this guy is not cheap, right? So my logical brain was like, how can I get out of this? How can I out create this because I don't really want to spend the money. And that was the truth. That was the lie. The lie I was telling myself was the money part. But I was telling myself that it was about him. And the front desk girl. So that was the lie. And so I wanted to make myself right. Anyway, so that I mean. That's all.

Lesley Logan - 42:59

There's so many, there's so many things in there that I generally I'm like, Oh my God, we could talk about for hours, because I think it's so funny what we will say when it's just to avoid the truth, which is like, there's probably fear and like, what are you going to find out, you know, but like, I, I try, I try to be very aware of like, the top five fears that are out there. And like I'm like, which one am I, which one am I doing right now because like, you know, like that is on a good day. You know, we all have days where like, I'm leaning into this fear so hard. I'm just gonna enjoy wallowing in it but, um, but it's, it's, it's just something that it's so important that everyone hears this from women like yourself for me, but, but people who are going every day after their dreams, like the honesty about it, but you said something about obstacles. And it's true, I would hear people say, Oh, it's a sign. Like, this is a sign. And I, I want I want to say that I like loved believing in signs. And I do think there are signs but I think we, we look for signs for which we want to see the signs for so you can't you can't believe all the signs you see. Because you are looking for evidence to prove yourself right. And whatever your self is showing up. Like it might be the self that is like, like, like telling you you're not gonna make it and you're like, Oh, look at this sign or like, That thing's not gonna work. I could have seen COVID as the sign that like, like, this isn't gonna work. And instead, like, I just was like, Okay, how is this happening for me? What have I been asking for? I've been asking for time. I've been asking for time. Okay, so next time more specific. I would like more time where the rest of the world doesn't suffer. That would be awesome. So next time I'll be more specific. I would like to have more time and a runway of income. But what did I want to have more time for? Okay, this and so it's so I think obstacles are actually not signed at all. They are, they show me how much I want to fight for something. I'm willing to like, take out that obstacle that I must really want and if I I take the obstacle as Oh, that's it. That's as far as we go. Well then, I didn't want it enough. And like, at least you're finding out now like, good. Like, it's good to know sooner before you like, invest more time into it, right?

Joanna Vargas - 45:12

Damn, Lesley, this is good. I mean, we're like, whoever's listening right now play this on repeat, because this is good.

Lesley Logan - 45:17

I feel like we're listening to this myself. And I need to remember.

Joanna Vargas - 45:22

Yes, yeah. Because we will use the tools against us. I see it all the time. Joanna does feels heavy, so I'm not going to choose it. Just because it feels heavy. Like when it doesn't feel good. Like, no, no. What's the lie here? There's a lie that you're telling yourself a lie. That's the truth? That's a great question. What's the lie here? Now that one's like a whole other question. Because our brains like what do you mean? What's the lie? What's the lie? What's the lie? Don't worry about it. It will show up. You know?

Lesley Logan - 45:50

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. There's, there's, it's, it's just so it's so good. It's so good. Um, I, I mean, obviously, we can talk for hours. So we'll have to do this again, for many reasons. So if you are listening, you have more questions you want us to take on in life? Let us know, drop it in my comments. And I'll make sure that we, we address it on another talk. Because I mean, we could almost have her own panel. And yes, I'm dreaming up something right now, wouldn't it be cool if we had a panel?

Joanna Vargas - 46:21

Of conscious conversations? Yeah, like taking things that are out there and just flipping them and making them different? Because I think right now, the conversations we're having our limiting, they're great. And what else can we create? I think they still have a cap right now of most of the conversations that are being created.

Lesley Logan - 46:40

Yeah, I love that I, before I, before I met, Brad, I was like, in this Limbo of life, I left my ex and I was there was a homeless period, which is not my first time being homeless. So that's a whole other story, but I had some one of my clients paid for me to have like a birth chart reader. And let me tell you, like, part of me was like, You spent how much on this person instead of like, giving me the money? I'm literally living on my credit card. But I went to listen to, I listened to this person tell me, we had an hour and he said, I'm looking at your chart. And I just want you to know you've gone as far as you can by yourself. (Joanna Vargas: Wow.) You cannot there's you you can do things on your own. You are powerful enough to do things on your own. But you will what you what you have achieved to this point. This is, this is the life you will be living if you decide to go things alone. And so he's like, what opportunities do you have to partner up with people? I'm not saying you partner up in business, but what opportunities do you have? And so that's when I like, had a dating blog with a friend. And I had I started doing all these different anything I could partner up and like going to art places like just not going alone, right. And I'm an outgoing introvert, ya'll, so it's like super easy for me to go to things alone. Somebody was listening to a podcast today, but they go well, she's a high functioning introvert. And I'm like, oh, what's an interesting way of putting it! Yes, that's me. Yes, yeah. So So I was like, I took that. And I was like, Okay, so I'm actually limiting myself by not being open and aware. And so, and so I know, I'm on this journey, where I'm meeting these amazing women, someone like you, I can go, Oh, this is why I was supposed to because if I had just tried to do this on my own, I wouldn't have joined a mastermind I wouldn't have partnered, I definitely would not have like, let my husband helped me with my business. Like, no, I can do it alone. And, and it's just so it's important for us to like continue to ask questions, but like, where are we holding ourselves back? What are we doing that limit ourselves? I love you. I love these questions that you have put into our minds today.

Joanna Vargas - 48:44

Lesley, I got that. Like I heard it right now. Oh, my gosh, I have the goosebumps. I received from what you just said. I heard, Joanna. Oh, my gosh, how can you partner up, you've hit how much you've done by yourself. Oh, my gosh, thank you. I really appreciate that. Because I heard it. Wow.

Lesley Logan - 49:03

Oh, and now I have chills. And I'm about to cry. So we're gonna do this. Remember when? Remember when we had this amazing women's panel. And we brought all these women together? And we talked about how they could turn things on their heads and find something and where they see a period and actually put a question mark on it?

Joanna Vargas - 49:20

And Lesley, remember when Oprah reached out to us and she wanted us on her super soul? Now I cried when Oprah reached out that wasn't so much fun.

Lesley Logan - 49:30

I know because we also to say we're so busy actually. So can we do it on a different day? And Oprah was like, Yeah, I have to move my schedule around for you.

Joanna Vargas - 49:39

Because Oprah knew we were. That amazing!

Lesley Logan - 49:42

Oh my gosh. So, Joanna this will not be our last time chatting into the ears of people but where can people find you? Now if they because they're gonna want to like just learn so much from you and absorb as much as they can.

Joanna Vargas - 49:55

Please follow me on Instagram at I'm at JoannaVargasOfficial and I do free 30 day challenges and I go live every day. And Lesley, I'm going live every day for the full year. And every month is a different challenge. And I really got the awareness because one of the questions was, what can I create this year? What can I do? And I got the awareness too. In order for me to shift, Lesley, I got to do this for a full year. Like, like how you just said, you're limiting yourself by doing it by yourself. What I received was Joanna, you're limiting yourself by doing it for a month. If you do it for a year. This is gonna, this is gonna stretch the hell out of you.

Lesley Logan - 50:35

Okay, I, I can't wait. I, I see. Because here's the thing. I'm on my phone in the morning when you go live.

Joanna Vargas - 50:41

Do you see? Joanna's live and like, there she is again!

Lesley Logan - 50:45

I say it, that the day 26 journal is and this is me. I'm like, I'm gonna wait till the next one. I want to start at the beginning, which is so dumb. So tomorrow, I'm just gonna start with you. Oh my gosh, so y'all, please follow Joanna at JoannaVargasOfficial in Instagram, tell her how much you love her and what you got from this, you can screenshot this podcast, and you can tag us on Instagram. And let us know what you got from it, we would love to hear because I, I know that it's, it just takes some a word that brings it to your attention that can change and pivot and put you on a trajectory that you that you were supposed to be on this whole time. So if we did that, we want to hear about it. So we could just congratulate you and cheer you on. Like that's all we just want to like, give you a high five virtually. So thank you for being here. I love you. I really, really love you.

Joanna Vargas - 51:33

And Lesley, I'd like to acknowledge you because you're one of those people in my life now that I can really create with and I'm excited to see what's going to be created. And to everybody listening. I want to acknowledge you for having a new possibility, like something shifted in our conversation today. And I want to acknowledge us for that.

Lesley Logan - 51:54

I know. I know. If there's something really big about to happen. (Joanna Vargas: Yeah) Another big thing for us. Yeah. (Joanna Vargas: Yeah). Thank you for saying that. Thank you.

Joanna Vargas - 52:04

Thanks everybody!

Lesley Logan - 52:11

There we go.

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Lesley Logan

That’s all I’ve got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It podcast!

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Until next time remember to BE IT TILL YOU SEE IT!

---

Lesley Logan

‘Be It Till You See It’ is a production of ‘As The Crows Fly Media’.

Brad Crowell

It’s written, produced, filmed and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan and me, Brad Crowell.

Lesley Logan

Kevin and Bel at Disenyo handle all of our audio editing and some social media content.

Brad Crowell

Our theme music is by Ali at APEX Production Music. And our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.

Lesley Logan

Special thanks to our designer Jaira Mandal for creating all of our visuals (which you can’t see because this is a podcast) and our digital producer, Jay Pedroso for editing all the video each week so you can.

Brad Crowell

And to Meridith Crowell for keeping us all on point and on time.

You have a lot of have-to-do’s and even more want-to-do’s. You know you are on this planet to accomplish something, but you’re just so busy!

Amidst all the crazy, you need support making YOU a priority.

Welcome to the ‘Be It Til You See It’ Podcast with me, your host, Lesley Logan!

Each week I host inspiring guests from all walks of life, digging into how they prioritized themselves to get to where they are today. We’ll focus on the specific mindset and actions they took to make it happen.

After the interview, my husband Brad and I will jump on for a quick takeaway, sharing how you can prioritize yourself so you can BE IT.

My goal isn’t to just inspire you. Nope, it’s not enough to hear a story of how someone made it. In each interview you’ll hear actionable tips from guests… bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted advice to help you BE IT TIL YOU SEE IT.

With all that and the permission to put yourself first, I know you can be who you were meant to be in this life!

Are you ready to BE IT in health, fitness, business, love, personal goals, travel and more?

Lesley Logan Resources

• Lesley Logan website
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