Be with the Word

A mouthful, eh? Dr. Gerry continues his Lenten series on dissociation and discusses the parasympathetic nervous system which is how we experience safety. Dr. Gerry discusses the Abraham and Isaac sacrifice story and explains how God wants a new covenant based on safety, trust, and connection. God also reverses the ancient notions of life and death through Christ whose true nature is revealed to three apostles at the Transfiguration. 

Dr. Gerry discusses the Sunday readings and begins a short Lenten series on dissociation. Dr. Gerry discusses mild forms of dissociation and more series forms (disorders) and connects this to the Hebrew understanding of life and death. Jesus turns this on its head and baffles the wise by showing us that it is through death that we can find life. Similarly we must meet our disconnected parts and meet their needs in the present in order to find new life and psychological health. 

Dr. Gerry discusses what it means to be a leper in the Hebrew world and how Christ is the bridge from sickness to health, and from death to life. He then discusses how St. Paul's attitude of pleasing "everyone in every way" is in fact not codependency. 

As Dr. Gerry explores the character of Herod, he discusses how our negative behaviors can be adaptive and self-protective. Dr. Gerry ties in the latest Wonder Woman movie (minimal spoilers) as well as the Eastern Catholic concept of epiphany and “theoria” as he discusses how to challenge our own motivations and adapt in new ways through union with and worship of God. 

Dr. Gerry and Dr. Laura Cusumano discuss eating disorders. Dr. Laura earned her Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Divine Mercy University and she is the mother of three young children. Dr. Laura shares her own personal journey of overcoming an eating disorder and how that led her into the field of psychology and helping others with eating disorders. 

Dr. Laura shares her struggle with anorexia that emerged in college and how she became obsessed with numbers (food and exercise) as a way to gain a sense of control. She describes how her extroverted personality started to change and her personality was “shrinking” and this was a sign that she was in an unhealthy place because she was losing her identity. 

“Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” (Colossians 3)

Dr. Laura notes that eating disorders don’t always have a physical appearance. Anorexia can occur to people who are average or overweight in appearance. It is concerning when all your activities revolve around food or avoiding food. There was also a loss of relationships. Dr. Laura also discusses the difference between the ongoing recovery model and the full recovery model. 

Dr. Gerry discusses how food can be celebratory but also be a way to self soothe negative emotions. Dr. Laura mentions the dietician Ellyn Satter. “It is being able to choose food you enjoy and eat it and truly get enough of it – not just stop eating because you think you should. ... Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good.”

Dr. Laura explains how eating disorders don’t always “stay in one box”. She discusses binge eating disorder which is now in the DSM (manual for diagnosing mental health disorders). 

Dr. Laura urges us to be gentle with ourselves. Halloween through New Years we get “assaulted” by unhealthy food. New Year’s resolutions can be a “twisted Lent” which is detached to God. Putting a moral judgment on food is often unhelpful. There is a difference between disordered eating versus an eating disorder. Give grace and gentleness and notice when we want to berate ourselves for being “bad”. We speak to ourselves with harsh and moral language which can lead to body related negativity which can lead to an eating disorder. We must learn how to manage our relationship with food in a healthy way rather than merely eliminating certain foods completely. 

“For you shall eat the fruit of your handiwork. Blessed shall you be, and favored” (Psalm 128)

Food in the proper order is beautiful and created in nature – just like sex in the proper context. Temperance doesn’t mean eliminating everything that is tempting but managing our relationship with things in healthy ways.

Dr. Gerry discusses what it is to be a good father. How is fathering different from mothering? The "essentialist" position says that fatherhood is universal and biologically based. It also says that without a father figure there are negative developmental outcomes for boys. Dr. Gerry discusses how postmodern social constructivism defines fatherhood and masculinity. Dr. Gerry shares his own experience of fathering and being a stay at home dad. Research studies show the favorable outcomes of positive father involvement and warmth and closeness. There is a discussion of gender norms for men and how this brings pressure for men. Dr. Gerry also discusses not only being a provider and protector but also how to access the "true self" which includes qualities such as curiosity, courage, compassion, creativity, patience, faithfulness, playfulness, connectedness, and presence. 

Although the holidays are meant to be a joyful time, many people struggle with higher levels of depression, grief, loneliness, and stress. Some people also experience seasonal affective disorder – and all this and a global pandemic as well! 

Dr. Gerry integrates the best advice from the mental health community with the wisdom of St. Thérèse of Lisieux. 
 
The importance of “doing less” and setting realistic expectations. 
 
Practical suggestions to turn this season into an internal spiritual pilgrimage by increasing meditation, practicing mindfulness (watchfulness), loving others, and receiving comfort from God and His saints. 
 
“Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks.” 1 Thessalonians 5
 
“In trial or difficulty I have recourse to Mother Mary, whose glance alone is enough to dissipate every fear” -St. Thérèse of Lisieux