Be You Not Them

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday's episode which was about life sometimes dealing you a crappy hand. We not only talk about how we overcame some of life's more recent curveballs but also share some amazing golden nuggets from some new authors (I know finally...but Glennon Doyle does make another appearance). In light of this, this week's question is:

When was time that you felt stronger after a time of suffering?

Share this with us as we love to highlight the successes of our thrive tribe! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources:

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

Slide into our DMs on Insta @beyounotthempodcast

Connect with us on Facebook

Simply put, life can be a real piece of work. We sometimes get dealt the difficult hand whether it be losing a job to the end of a relationship. Though life can be tough sometimes, these challenges allow seeds to be planted such that we can blossom later on.

[1:58] Life & Suffering. Yes, we are choosing a different book to quote from...finally. In Viktor Frankl's book, Man's Searching for Meaning, Frankl gives quite the insightful definition for suffering.

[4:23] Path of Restoration. As it is also a common theme throughout biblical text, suffering is meant to have us walk through a path to be restored.

[7:36] Glennon Doyle On Becoming. We reference, yet again, our favorite book Untamed in which Glennon describes how pain is utilized to come into our own being.

[12:13] Nat's Challenges. We both take some time this episode to share how we overcame some tough moments in recent years. Nat shares her story about suffering through multiple panic attacks that often make her feel like she disappears and simply operates like she is on autopilot.

[16:58] Perpetual Cycle. Nina explains that we sometimes put ourselves in these cycles of suppressing or trying to stop what we are feeling. This often heightens our anxiety in the moment and can simply magnify the challenges we are going through.

[18:17] Sign For Help. Nat shares that with her panic attacks, she realized that she does not have her anxiety under control and that she needed help. Sometimes our challenges reveal to us what we may need help in and encourages us to reach out.

[19:00] Nina's Challenges. Nina shares her back to back struggles of 2019 from workplace harassment, physical illness and the icing on the cake, her break-up. What each of these instances revealed was her need to utilize therapy and coaching to overcome some of the insecurities that triggered some of these events.

[21:50] Sitting with it. Nina shares how sitting with some of these difficult challenges enabled her to overcome them instead of running away from them which was her usual coping mechanism.

[25:18] Perpetual Mental Suffering. This, much of the time, can be a dark abyss. We highlight how sometimes the smallest wins and the slightest glimmer of faith can bring us out of this abyss.

We want to remind our listeners that here at Be You Not Them, we aspire to create a community that provides the space in which we all walk through this journey called life together. This is a space where we share our challenges...a space where we are not in fact alone in whatever we may be going through. We are here for you and encourage all the support possible to make you BLOSSOM.

Books/Resources Mentioned:

• Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
• Untamed by Glennon Doyle

Resources:

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

Slide into our DMs on Insta @beyounotthempodcast

Connect with us on Facebook

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday's episode which was an amazing interview with Shay Rowbottom. In this interview, we discover how Shay found her authentic self in overcoming, what may seem to many, insurmountable challenges. Go check out the interview if you haven't yet! For this week, we reflect on something beautiful that Shay said about making the right decision:

You can make the right decision and still feel sad about it.

We share how this quote applied in some of the decision we had to make and we also debunk the need for the right decision to feel peaceful and certain. As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources:

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

Slide into our DMs on Insta @beyounotthempodcast

Connect with us on Facebook

FINDING YOUR POWER. We're so excited to have the LinkedIn Video Coach & Expert, Shay Rowbottom on our show. Shay owns a 7 figure business and started a successful video marketing agency by her mid-20s. However, her road to success was NOT easy and she opens up about the toxic relationships and childhood trauma she recently had to overcome in order to start healing.

TRIGGER WARNING: In this episode we do talk about subjects that can be triggering. We discuss childhood trauma like rape and molestation. We also talk about Shay's experience with ayahuasca, which is a plant medicine. We want to keep things real with you & provide a safe space for others to share their story, which is why we wanted to bring Shay on the show as she is a testament that you can persevere through trauma.

[4:10] Who Is Shay Rowbottom? Shay explains how her 'trajectory' started when she wanted to become a rapper and started getting more involved in video editing and content through that. From writing her own raps to suddenly owning her own video marketing company.

[7:50] Something Missing. Shay started feeling depressed and felt like she was starting to lose herself even though her career was skyrocketing. She speaks about writing in her journal, asking God to help her feel alive again.

[9:00] Learning About LinkedIn & Finding Her Power. Shay starts learning about LinkedIn and how it started to empower her, but also feeding into her need for validation. Shay started building a community that kept her invested.

[15:05] Moving To Miami, Facing Her Victim Mentality & Learning About Plant Medicine. How a huge fight with her ex, which led to him telling Shay she was always playing the victim. This lead to Shay being open to trying ayahuasca.

[22:30] Reliving Repressed Trauma. Shay explains how through her plant medicine experience, she relived memories she had previously repressed trauma from rape in her childhood. She discusses how she started to connect the dots with a lot of struggles and paths she went down as a teenager and how it all started to make sense.

[25:00] Healing & Breaking Free from Trauma. Unpacking the trauma that shattered Shay's life. She discusses how she went all in on healing to deal with the repressed trauma she was facing. Realizing how her toxic relationships in her life tied back to her childhood trauma.

[36:13] Narcissistic Parenting. Shay discusses the prevalence of narcissistic parenting and her own experience with her own childhood and family.

[39:05] Cutting Out Toxic Family & Friends. Shay talks about how at first she kept trying to make her relationship work with her family and how she would always try again to make their relationships work before she realized it wasn't what was best for her. She also recognizes how she probably had a part to play in her disconnect with her sisters.

[46:55] "In order to heal you have to get honest"

[48:30] Breaking the Cycle & Step into Your Power. We discuss breaking through trauma and realizing negative patterns in our lives. It's TIME to BREAK the cycle. The three of us chat about healing and recognizing how repressed trauma can affect so many aspects of our lives.

[59:57] Helping Others Heal & Break Free. Shay talks about her trauma and flaws have drawn business people to her course who, while initially interested in marketing, end up really wanting someone to help them heal and become more authentic.

[1:05:00] What Was Shay's Be You Not Them Moment? The question we ask all our guests on the Be You Not Them podcast.

Wow. What an interview! We hope that Shay's story resonated with you. We discussed a lot. From childhood trauma to plant medicine to finding your power… but we're thankful Shay was able to be so raw with us.

You know where to reach us guys. We would love to know your feedback and thoughts on today's interview.

You Can Find Shay at:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shayrowbottom/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shayrowbottom/

Her website: https://www.shayrowbottom.com

You can listen to Shay's Podcast, The Shay Rowbottom on Apple Podcasts or Spotify

Books/Resources mentioned:

"Mothers Who Can't Love" by Susan Forward, Ph. D.

BYNT:

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

Slide into our DMs on Insta @beyounotthempodcast

Connect with us on Facebook

Sending you all love <3

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

It's time for your mini pick me up of the week! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday's episode which was all about finding your purpose AND living with purpose. We share our own struggles with our ever-changing "Purpose" and some ways to reflect and identify your own purpose.

So, in the theme of Finding Your Purpose, today's question is:

Which of your traits & attributes seem to stand out most?

This is a unique one because we want you to do this one with a friend or a loved one who knows you well! Maybe you can ask several people to see if there's a common trait of yours that pops up! We'd love to know what your answer to this weeks question is and if it's helped you reflect on your WHY. You know where to find us <3

Resources:

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

Slide into our DMs on Insta @beyounotthempodcast

Connect with us on Facebook

WHAT IS YOUR "THING"? We hear this all the time and for us this was a source of some of our existential crises in our 20s. What. Is. Our. Purpose. Maybe you already have yours figured out or maybe you're still trying to define yours. We didn't really understand ours until this past year, so it's never too early or late! We discuss what "purpose" means, as well as some of our misconceptions about what our WHY really was. Then, we give some takeaways for how you can find what your inner purpose is!

[2:32] Defining Purpose. Sooo, what does this all mean? What does it mean when we say "find your purpose"?

• Your purpose is your WHY.
• Analogy from Darren Hardy's The Compound Effect about the 100 Story Building.
• We always think that it has to be something BIG or tied to monetary success, which is not true.
• Our struggles in our 20s with figuring out our purpose because we always tied it to our career.

[9:04] Can Your Why Change? Nina shares how she believes that our why can change throughout our life based off of our experiences.

• Nina shares how her WHY when it comes to her career and motivations behind it have changed.
• Natassia shares how her first side hustle failed because she was only focusing on profit and didn't have a strong enough WHY to push her.

[13:25] Living a Purposeful Life vs. Striving for our Purpose. What does it mean to live a purposeful life? It extends through all aspects of your life. Your living your life aligned to something bigger than yourself, your work, your passions, etc.

[17:40] So What are the Next Steps?? So what do you need to do to align or find your purpose?

• Get off of AUTOPILOT. Sit with yourself and get out of your daily routine.
• Start asking yourself, "What activities are you drawn to?" or "What lights you up?" What is the outcome you love from these activities? [20:49]
• Find the connection between your ONE thing and the outcome that comes from it. It's the OUTCOME that makes you feel fulfilled. [22:30]
• Spend some time with yourself and do things that bring you joy. [24:36]

Do you know what your purpose or why is? Or are you still struggling with defining that? We'd love to hear your thoughts, comments and feedback guys!

Books/Resources Mentioned:

• The One Thing by Gary Keller - you can find the worksheet we mentioned here
• The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy
• The movie "Soul" by Disney/Pixar

Resources:

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

Slide into our DMs on Insta @beyounotthempodcast

Connect with us on Facebook

"I'M GOING TO TURN EVERYONE INTO A CANDLE." - Natassia

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

It is Thursday and you know what time it is!!! Your mini pick me up is here and ready for you! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday's episode which was all about our lovely career mishaps. We share laughs, worthy cringe moments, and rolling eyes to some of the mishaps we discussed. In light of our little sesh, we ask:

How do you recover or brush off the career mistakes made?

We'd love to hear your how YOU overcame those little oopsies! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources:

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

Slide into our DMs on Insta @beyounotthempodcast

Connect with us on Facebook

Have you ever face-palmed so hard at some mistake that happened at work? I know you can't see us but we are raising and waving our hands like crazy because we have TOTALLY been there. From emotional breakdowns to things we wished we didn't say, we go over ALL our little career oopsies in this lovely little sweet baklava sesh.

[2:32] That Facepalm Moment. We share the most trivial yet embarrassing mistakes that our lovely little minds will never make us forget. Stories range from Nina not knowing how to put clothes on accurately to Nat being her peak awkward self.

[7:22] Thank you Siri. Nat shares how years ago she set up Siri to address her by a different name. It is all fun and games until it gets announced to your boss because your iPhone decided to go rogue...cute.

[11:58] Holiday Party Gone Wrong. You know how they warn you to control your booze at holiday parties? Lightweight Nina forgot about that and somehow found herself in the men's bathroom.

[14:13] When Your Face Says It All. Nat is notorious for her facial expressions but sometimes they can be so involuntary that they show up at some interesting times. Nina is also not immune to this.

[25:17] Speaking Out About Uncomfortable Situations. On a more serious note, we talk about harassment and how we both have experienced this in our professions. Sometimes we didn't speak up and we shared why we wished we were more vocal.

Resources:

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

Slide into our DMs on Insta @beyounotthempodcast

Connect with us on Facebook

Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your Mini Pick Me Up!!! In this minisode, we continue talking about our topic from Episode 38, which was about how social media can impact our mental health. While there are definitely downsides to using social media, we both agree that there are ways to make it more POSITIVE. So, today's question is:

What is a positive, healthy habit that you have developed with social media?

What is YOUR answer to this week's question? Do you have a healthy habit you have put in place with social media... or are you still working developing better habits around it? You can always reach out to us on our website or on our instagram (which is DEFINITELY a positive social experience).

Love you guys! Crush the rest of your week <3

Resources:

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

Slide into our DMs on Insta @beyounotthempodcast

Connect with us on Facebook

OUR UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH SOCIAL MEDIA. Ever feel like crap after spending a lot of time scrolling through your Instagram/Facebook/TikTok/whatever account? We feel you. We've been there. Let's talk about how social media can negatively impact us if we're already not feeling ok about ourselves, plus positive ways to use social media so that we can feel GOOD.

[2:05] Sharing The Stats On Social Media & Our Mental Health. Want some proof? Don't worry… we've got some stats! We also reflect on what this research is showing us and how we've seen this play out in real life.

• It's a little concerning to see how an unhealthy relationship with social media can affect our mental state - especially teens! [2:38]

• "The less you are connected with human beings in a deep, empathic way, the less you're really getting the benefits of a social interaction," points out Alexandra Hamlet, PsyD [6:40]
• Social media's initial core purpose is to CONNECT with others. [8:10]
• 59% of US teens experienced cyberbullying or online harassment. Guys… WTF? [10:00]
• Dopamine & social media addiction [12:10]

[14:35] The Positive vs Divisive Sides of Social Media. Nina can talk for ages about how divisive social media is, but we both agree there are definitely positives as well.

• There are positive ways to use social media - from growing your business to connecting with friends to finding people who share similar interests.
• BUT… there can also be a dark side to social media. From people spreading hate to dehumanizing others who have a different opinion from them.
• Also, we recorded this in 2020 and Nina predicted that on December 31, 2020 to close out a crazy year, aliens were going to land on Earth. So, guess she was wrong there.

[22:00] Reminders For Your Daily Life <3 Of course, your long-distance besties are here to remind you that you CAN find a way to make yourself feel GOOD via social media.

• Social media is tailored to an individual's "likes" - unfollow people who you don't vibe with and if someone unfollows you, that is ok too.

• Remove people that make you feel like crap. BYE.
• If you really need it, do a social media detox.
• Live your own reality and stop comparing yourself.

We hope the next time you're feeling down because of something you saw on social media you remember this episode! And try to implement the little tips and reminders about social media into your everyday life. They have worked for us, so we hope they can work for you too. As always, we're here to support you on your self-love journey. You know where to reach us, BYNT Family. <3

Books/Articles Mentioned:

• "Does Social Media Cause Depression?" by Caroline Miller at the Child Mind Institute - http://bit.ly/3pKwv5v
• "A Majority of Teens Have Experienced Some Form of Cyberbullying" by Monica Anderson at PewResearchCenter http://pewrsr.ch/2LhZA9o
• Information on Social Media Addiction from the Addiction Center - https://www.addictioncenter.com/drugs/social-media-addiction/

Resources:

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

Slide into our DMs on Insta @beyounotthempodcast

Connect with us on Facebook

GET YOUR FACE MASK ON GIRL. BYE. (Sorry, Nina. Had to.)

Baklava,

Nat & Nina