Be You Not Them

Welcome to your mini pick me up! Continuing on from our last episode, When You're Told You're "Too Much", we are going to discuss the flip side of being too intense. If you're like us, you may have been ostracized or judged for your too muchness. But today, we're going to celebrate our intensity together!

Today's question is: How do you embrace your intensity?

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TOO AMBITIOUS. TOO LOUD. TOO EMOTIONAL. You get the picture. Ladies, have any of you been there? Nothing gets us rolling our eyes more than hearing someone tell us we're "too much." So let's talk about why being TOO MUCH is actually an amazing thing.

Defining Being "Too Much"

• Let's talk some psychology. There are 5 different types of "overexcitabilty":
• • Intellectual
  • Imaginational
  • Emotional
  • Psychomotor
  • Sensua
• Examples: too passionate, too loud, too emotional, too sensitive, too intense, too honest
• How have we been told that we are too much?
• Which category do we fit into?

Written Examples

• Tamed by shame (pg. 46 Untamed)
• Poem
• Mel Robbins quote

Why is being "too much" your superpower?

• You freakin FEEL and feel deeply.
• You push the boundaries of what is comfortable as well as conformity.
• You form deep and meaningful relationships.
• You have a rich inner knowing
• You seek Purpose and Meaning.
• IT IS YOUR GIFT. We share a passage from a Psychology Today article that hits the nail on the head for this one.

Don't bottle yourself up to make other people more comfortable. Ew. No. Unleash your "too muchness." Maybe you can inspire someone to be too much as well. :) Thanks for listening guys and we hope you enjoyed today's episode.

Books/Articles mentioned:

https://medium.com/the-ascent/5-ways-being-too-much-is-your-superpower-b28adf85085d

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-emotional-intensity/201904/been-told-you-are-too-much-all-your-life

Resources:

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! It is yet another mini book club sesh!!! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday's episode which was about the books we are currently reading and what we absolutely love about them. In light of this, we share our top 3 books that have left us with our jaws dropped.

As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Books Mentioned:

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

It's Not Supposed to Be This Way by Lysa TerKeurst

Abundance Now by Janet Switzer and Lisa Nichols

Untamed by Glennon Doyle (surprise surprise)

Resources:

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Welcome to another Baklava Session, our episodes where things are little more lighthearted and we're seriously just winging it. This one we actually use as an excuse to have our own little a book club.

Both of us share are non-fiction and fiction reads at the moment ranging from psychology to 50+ year love affairs (oooo how intriguing). We also discuss some of the books that have impacted us the most. Always wanted to be a part of a book club? Well, let today be that day as we nerd out over all of our reads.

Books mentioned in this episode include:

• The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk
• A Long Petal of the Sea by Isabel Allende
• Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel García Márquez
• Prevail by Susie Larson
• Anxious People by Frederik Backman
• Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
• Untamed by Glennon Doyle

Resources:

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in episode 45, which was all about how we have managed to keep our friendship strong over the last 15 years! In light of that we ask this week:

What is a common theme or trait in your friendships that you value?

What is something that you have noticed is important to you in a friendship? This is a great exercise to realize what exactly you value the most in friendships. Don't be scared to reach out to us guys! You know where to find us. Sending lots of love your way <3

Resources:

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FRIENDSHIPS TAKE TIME. In today's episode, we're talking about something that a lot of us struggle with in adulthood, which is maintaining friendships. When we were younger, we all thought our best friends would be our BFFs 4 LIFE, right? And then suddenly we're adults and we're like, "Well, that didn't work out..."

We have been friends for over 15 years, so we'd like to think we have an idea of what's made our friendship not only last long, but become stronger throughout the years! So, we're going to discuss some things that we think have helped us maintain our strong friendship.

• Setting Expectations
• Being Vulnerable and Honest.
• Be OK with confrontation.
• You have to make time to maintain friendships.
• Compassion.
• Keeping it balanced.
• Leave the judgement at the door.
• Raise each other up. We discuss "Shine Theory" created by Aminatou Sow and Ann Friedman from the Call Your Girlfriend podcast.

Do any of these tips to maintain friendships resonate with you? We hope you found this episode helpful, especially during quarantine times where it's easy to feel disconnected from others. Friendships take effort to maintain, but it's totally worth it if it's a friend that lifts you up and inspires you to be the best version of your self every day. Trust us <3

Resources:

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday's episode which was all about identity and the fact there is actually no old or new identity, just your authentic self. In light of that we ask this week:

What was a recent experience where your old ways almost got in your way?

We'd love to hear your experiences and how you stopped your old ways from realizing your authentic self. As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources:

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

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You have probably heard the phrases "building my best self" and "stepping into the new me" several times. We know we have said this to ourselves time and time again; however, have you ever thought about what this may actually mean? This episode we talk about how entering into your "new self" is more about aligning with your authenticity rather than creating a completely new identity. Let's dive in and challenge what it means to shed off the "old" and walking into the "new".

[2:04] Being a "better version of you". We have all heard this about the need to "reinvent" ourselves. We point out the shortcomings of this phrase and how it is really about being more intuned with your authentic self. These shortcomings include:

• Making the you TODAY feel like you are not good enough
• Negative influence on needing to be the best
• Not realizing that you were doing the best that you could at that moment in time

[3:21] Why do we struggle with the old versus new mentality? Some of the reasons why we constantly battle between these two can be:

• Recognizing and letting go of the shame associated with past decisions and behaviors. We share our own experiences in struggling with this from confidence issues to dating/relationships [5:22]
• Not listening to your gut in order to fulfill expectations of someone else [8:25]
• Building new habits and replacing old ways of thinking [10:24]
• Growth and maturity also build experience to bring us closer to our authentic selves [15:13]

[19:55] A different take on the "new" me. Simply put, there is no OLD you or a NEW you, there is just YOU. Identities evolve as mentioned in Mark Manson's article of Stop Trying to Change Yourself. Some mic drop moments include:

• Maintaining an identity defined as little to not commence emotional turbulence associated with an "identity crisis" [21:45]
• Think of life as a long sequence of actions and decisions meaning that if we were to change ourselves we instead make better actions and decisions [22:05]
• We choose the actions we want move forward with...the difference is between the "I AM" and "I CHOOSE" [26:05]
• Your identity is this made up thing that we emotionally attach to and thus, the quickest way to change yourself is realizing that there is no "self" to change [30:41]

Books/Resources Mentioned:

• Stop Trying to Change Yourself by Mark Manson: https://markmanson.net/stop-trying-to-change-yourself

Resources:

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! LET'S CELEBRATE OUR WEIRDNESS TODAY!!! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in Monday's episode which was about us being huge weirdos. We want to encourage you to embrace your "weirdest" qualities. In light of this, this week's question is:

What is a weird characteristic that you appreciate?

You can ask this to yourself... or have a loved one share with you a "weird" quality that they LOVE about you. We ask each other this question in a way to embrace this weird quirks we've come to love about each other.

As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources:

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

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Welcome to another Baklava Session, our episodes where we're seriously just winging it and venting to each other about our experiences. This one gets a little weird, which is not surprising, because it's about EMBRACING you inner weirdo.

Both of us have always been "weird" since we were younger. From dancing all over the place to making pterodactyl noises... we share what we think makes US weird.

When you're labeled as weird or a weirdo, it's because you don't conform to those around you. Weirdos embrace their true authentic selves without caring about others thinking they're strange.

Resources:

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*insert pterodactyl screams here*

Baklava,

Nat & Nina