Be You Not Them

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our minisode will highlight what we discussed in Ep. 52, which was all about those negative little coping habits we may engage when faced with challenges. We not only defined what coping mechanisms are and the different types (yes...there are different types, who would have thought) but also shared which negative habits we fall into.

So for today's Mini Pick Me Up, we're going to ask each other (and YOU!):

What is a negative coping skill that you replaced with something positive?

We'd love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

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#52 - Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms

How often, when met face to face with challenges, we fall victim to some unhealthy habits to cope? We are over here waving hands like CRAY because like you, we have all been there. In this episode, we dive into not only what it means to "cope" but also what NOT to do when faced with what may seem like insurmountable challenges (or annoying ones, really).

[1:38] What does it mean to "cope". We define a little bit what coping means and the different strategies that we may employ when we are faced with challenging situations. These strategies include:

• Task-oriented [3:10]
• Emotion-oriented [5:01]
• Avoidance-oriented [7:17 ]

[8:21] Which one are we. Out of the strategies listed we dive into the strategy that best fits our personal way of coping...surprise surprise, we have a little all three.

[10:47] What NOT to do. We have all been there where we employed coping mechanisms that were no bueno for us. Some of these mechanisms are rooted in our upbringing which we talk a little a bit about. Though not a complete list, some of these unhealthy coping mechanism include:

• Maladaptive Behavior [11:00]
• Engaging in Consumer Culture, aka "Retail Therapy" [11:47]
• Stuck in the rumination hamster wheel [14:02]
• Being in denial [15:09]
• Engaging in addictive behaviors [16:00]
• Distracting yourself with social diversions [17:00]

[21:41] Coping Takeaways. How can we stop ourselves from diving into these unhealthy coping mechanisms? We provide the following:

• Begin to be self-aware & having discernment [21:41]
• Sitting in the ache [22:29]
• Reframing the problem and narrative being told [23:18]
• Understanding the desired outcome and response [25:00]

Books/Resources Mentioned:

• Untamed by Glennon Doyle

Resources:

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our minisode will highlight what we discussed in Ep. 51, which was about why fitting in SUCKS. We vented about some of our experiences where we felt like we had to bottle ourselves up in order to be liked or please others.

So for today's Mini Pick Me Up, we're going to ask each other (and YOU!):

Share an experience where you thought, "I don't fit in here" and were fine with it.

We'd love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources:

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

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Welcome to another Baklava Session, our episodes where things are little more lighthearted and serve as a therapeutic vent session. Today we're heatedly discussing why we think trying to fit in SUCKS.

Both of us talk about our own experiences of trying to fit in, whether at work, with friends or even expectations that are put on us by those around us. All in all, if we had to rate how we felt when we were trying to fit into a mold that wasn't made for us, we would rate the experience a 0 out of 10.

So if you have been struggling with fitting in somewhere, let this episode be a reminder that you don't need to change yourself in order to belong! Being yourself is so much more rewarding than having people like you for someone you are not.

We hope you enjoyed today's Baklava Session! Let us know your thoughts, guys. You know where to reach us :)

Resources:

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our minisode will highlight what we discussed in the AMAZING interview with Sarrah Rose released Monday. We talked about everything from sexual empowerment, self-love and healing as well as using tantra to build sexual confidence. Give the negative flack surrounding sex convos, in today's minisode, we just basically vent about how we need to change the sex negative culture into one that is positive, open and less fearful than the one we were all brought up with. Also, stay until the end because Nina has a cute little announcement to make.

We'd love to hear how this episode resonated with you! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources:

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YOUR SEXUALITY IS YOUR POWER. We're so excited to have Certified Tantra, Love and Relationship Coach, Sarrah Rose on our show today. Sarrah advocates for how self-love and healing are necessary for both men and women to heal their relationship with their sexuality. The path to promote a more sex positive culture has NOT been easy and she opens up about this with her upbringing and relational trauma. Let's dive in and find out about these other healing modalities and simply talk about sex.

[3:14] Who Is Sarrah Rose? Sarrah explains how a yoga class at the Fashion Institute of Technology (FIT) led her to tantra and its role in releasing emotional trauma inhibiting us from fully stepping into our sexual identities.

[5:11] Misconceptions of Sexuality. Sarrah explains that these misconceptions are gender dependent. Men and women sex is bad or dangerous, or oppsite conditioning in having. Women sex is bad, can't display sexuality. Conditioning to make sexual trauma through, sets a very ripe stage for people to experience a lot of sexual abuse and trauma. Sex negative society

[8:00] Sex-Negative Culture. When we shove down our sexuality, which is a part of our biology, the more thwarted and fearful it becomes. The lack of conversations around sex lead to misconceptions about what are sexuality is supposed to be like. Sarrah emphasizes how self-love is where we can begin in promoting a more sex-positive culture

[12:51] Role of the Primal Brain. We dive into a little how our feelings around sex being safe is rooted in trauma stored in the primal brain, internal resistance

[17:56] Tantra and Shadow Work. Sarrah and Nina share their own trauma with infidelity and development of performance anxiety. Sarrah explains how shadow work and tantra were two main healing modalities to bring the repressed parts of herself back to our consciousness to integrate and heal them.

[25:00] Lacking Sexual Confidence Impacting More Than We Think. Sarrah explains how lack of intimacy or sexual confidence impacts our self actualization in other areas of our lives. She explains this impact through utilizing the chakra system and Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

[30:00] What is Tantra? We try to break the taboo around tantra as we ask Sarrah to explain what this is, it's origins in India, as well as the difference between Classical and Neo-Tantra.

[33:25] 4 Tantric Basics To Begin Healing. Sarrah dives into how to breath, sound, movement and focus are used and how putting these four pieces together expands your sexual energy. We jaw drop about generating how movement and manipulation of energy can generate energy orgasms...WHAT THE WHAT!

[41:21] Sex Magic. This lovely, empowering practice that Sarrah describes helps us define the identity we want to show up in the bedroom and further define what we want to experience.

[46:00] Building Sexual Confidence and Consent is SEXY. We discuss how using our voice is a big empowering step forward, especially with consent and how changing our mindset to be wealthy with our sexual energy. This all begins with healing our relationship sexually

[1:02:00] What Was Sarrah's Be You Not Them Moment? The question we ask all our guests on the Be You Not Them podcast.

We hope that Sarrah's experience and advocacy shed a little more light on what it means to be sexually empowered and how critical tantra is as a healing modality to get our sexual power back. We are incredibly thankful for Sarrah and the transformative work she is doing!

You know where to reach us guys. We would love to know your feedback and thoughts on today's interview.

You Can Find Sarrah at:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tantricactivation/ as well as https://www.instagram.com/tantricactivation.queens/ which is page geared towards women's sexuality

Her website: https://tantricactivation.com/

You can listen to Sarrah's Podcast, Sex and Sarrah Rose on Apple Podcasts or Spotify

Also stayed tuned for Sarrah's free 10-day Tantric Activation Immersion on May 9th! Link is to be up the website in the beginning of April!

Books/Resources mentioned:

Becoming Cliterate by Dr. Laurie Mintz

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk

Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, specifically Ch. 11 Sexual Transmutation

BYNT:

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Sending you all love <3

Welcome to your mini pick me up! This week, our question will highlight what we discussed in episode 49, which was all about chasing success and achievement in the hopes of VALIDATION. As two Type A personalities, it really hit home for us.

Our question for this week is: What was an achievement that you were chasing for all the wrong reasons?

We'd love to hear your experiences! As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources:

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

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Welcome to your mini pick me up! On Monday, we talked about getting ghosted in our little Baklava Sesh. For this lovely mini pick me up, we are changing things up! No question this week but rather a series of little affirmations that remind you of the bad ass warrior you are, no matter what ghosting scenario you face.

As always, you can hit us up on the typical channels below! Make sure to subscribe and leave a review as well. We would really appreciate it!

Resources:

Find more silliness & love at beyounothem.co

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina

Welcome to another Baklava Session, our episodes where things are little more lighthearted and we're seriously just winging it. This one we talk about getting ghosted...and no, not the paranormal activity type of thing.

Both of us share being ghosted as well as ghosting others in the dating and relationship realm; however, being "ghosted" extends beyond dating. We also share getting ghosted in our friendships and in work opportunities. Listen in on some of the most strangest texts that Nat has received which would give any woman a reason to never respond.

Resources:

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Baklava,

Nat & Nina