Be You Podcast

Have you heard? Jill is hosting the very first retreat for the Be You community!

Go to www.jillherman.com

Emily Oriana Todd is an ICF-certified Personal Freedom and Business Coach.

She supports entrepreneurs to scale their businesses through social media strategy, messaging and content strategy, energetics, subconscious reprogramming, and hypnosis.

Emily's approach is rooted in 15 years in marketing supporting both Fortune 500 companies and startups alike to grow their businesses using the power of social media, influencer marketing, brand development, and word of mouth marketing.

Emily's greatest passion lies in supporting service providers to unf*ck their marketing and stand out outline.

Connect with Emily on Instagram @emilyorianatodd and her website HonorYourWild.co

[6:10] - Emily shares her background and the 15 years she spent climbing a career ladder.

[8:25] - She went into marketing and consulting, but when Covid hit, she made a shift.

[10:51] - Emily describes a wake-up call that she got during a phone call with her dad.

[14:40] - It's one thing to go from good to great. It's another thing to go from great and the potential of even greater to leaving it behind for uncertainty.

[16:28] - At the start of her business, she felt regret and grief over the loss of her identity markers and "throwing it all away."

[18:09] - Her ego was in rejection of what was occurring, but there was something in her that knew it was worth it. She kept going with no tangible evidence that it was working.

[19:35] - Emily took an opportunity for a lengthy interview process and realized that she couldn't see it through.

[21:24] - There can be some programming that includes a lot of guilt and shame for entrepreneurs having a typical "real" job.

[25:06] - She truly followed her intuition. She physically felt her intuition telling her to keep going.

[27:14] - Entrepreneurship is pushing a boulder up a mountain for an extended period of time. But eventually you create momentum.

[30:22] - When she started on her entrepreneurship journey, she resisted anything that felt like marketing.

[32:32] - Entrepreneurship is shadow work like no other. It activates all your greatest doubts, insecurities, and fears.

[35:44] - The focus on money freaks a lot of entrepreneurs out and activates the fear that they aren't doing enough.

[40:59] - Sales is a crucial part of being an entrepreneur but it makes a lot of women business owners feel icky.

[45:06] - Emily discusses the difference between the law of attraction and the law of action.

[47:43] - Entrepreneurship is not for everyone. It is inherently hard due to uncertainty and discomfort.

[52:10] - Marketing isn't saying a million different things. It is saying the same thing a million different ways.

"I love Be You Podcast!" ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!

Also, if you haven't done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you're not following, there's a good chance you'll miss out.

Have you ever wondered what it means to be more of you?

Do you get confused about who you really are at your core?

Are you curious about how life would look if you stripped it all down, took off the masks, laid down the armor and rejected the script you were handed?

I did it. So can you. Here's how.

Jill's hosting the first Be You retreat!! "More of ME" retreat this September.

Visit www.jillherman.com to learn more and/or apply.

[2:01] - It happened to all of us. We were taught to be someone we aren't.

[3:30] - We are so full of stuff from our past, we sabotage ourselves.

[5:50] - We don't know the things we're doing subconsciously.

[8:40] - This entire podcast is about excavating the person you already are.

[10:34] - The upcoming retreat in September is a gift to Jill as well.

[15:20] - This retreat is for women who are ready to heal and crack open in a safe space.

[17:49] - There are experiences that will literally change you.

[20:16] - Jill can hold someone who has a history of trauma as a trained and certified coach who has done her own work.

"I love Be You Podcast!" ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!

Also, if you haven't done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you're not following, there's a good chance you'll miss out.

Jill traveled to Brazil and recorded on her iPhone for a quick life update and… a Be You BIG announcement!!!

She's hosting the first Be You retreat, "More of ME," this September and applications open TODAY!!!

She only has 8 spots maximum and may keep it as intimate as 4-6.

Go to www.jillherman.com to learn more and apply.

[1:31] - Jill gives a quick life update at a beautiful wedding ceremony in Brazil.

[3:39] - Recording from her phone is a little out of her comfort zone, but she has since learned why she didn't choose to pre-record.

[5:48] - In September, Jill is hosting the retreat she has always known she's wanted to.

[7:41] - Apply to make sure this is the right fit for you.

[8:20] - Put some real thought into the answers on the application.

"I love Be You Podcast!" ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!

Also, if you haven't done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you're not following, there's a good chance you'll miss out.

Too few of us are willing to be true to ourselves and risk disappointing or (GASP!) offending others.

We rarely speak our truth or ask for what we want.

We shrink, hide and politely accept and agree to terms we don't want in order to be accepted and liked.

What if we didn't?

[3:10] - We need to be willing to get uncomfortable and potentially make others uncomfortable by asking for the things we want.

[4:21] - We've been taught to be "the good girl." We wind up saying yes to everything to be nice and not be "too much."

[7:07] - It's hard to stand up for ourselves and it takes practice.

[8:50] - When will you allow yourself to have the things you want to your satisfaction?

[10:27] - With more practice it becomes harder to not follow your true north.

[14:29] - Don't apologize for your decisions. You can apologize for taking someone's time or inconveniencing them, but not for your decision.

[17:40] - Many times life is going to put us in situations that are so extreme to show us how bad it feels to abandon ourselves so we can really make the decision to choose ourselves.

[19:14] - Think of a situation where you spoke up for yourself and how it showed up in your body. Now think of a time when you didn't.

[21:08] - You don't have to abandon yourself and your needs to fulfill the needs of someone else.

[23:36] - It will eventually feel so natural to stand up for yourselves.

[29:03] - Jill gives an example of how "the flavor can change." What feels right to you and when are you willing to compromise?

[31:10] - What are your rules? What are your boundaries?

"I love Be You Podcast!" ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!

Also, if you haven't done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you're not following, there's a good chance you'll miss out.

Jill uses her gift of storytelling and uses her words to paint three pictures that the listener can see vividly and clearly as they extract a personal message and lesson for themselves.

[2:27] - Every human being deserves to have these "ah-ha's."

[5:41] - Sometimes, the biggest gifts come from struggling. But suffering is optional.

[7:23] - Jill was convinced that she would learn something specific, but she had to learn something different and trust the process.

[9:01] - Integration and embodiment can be used in so many different areas. The difference between knowing in your head and knowing in your body.

[11:26] - Subtle change leads to huge change.

[12:45] - Jill describes the experience.

[15:10] - "It's a trick question. I choose both."

[16:57] - The second lesson is all about how Jill's art will be perceived.

[18:45] - Someone could have told me these things, but I had to experience this and release so much through physical discomfort to access this.

[21:18] - Jill describes what she saw that led to the third lesson learned in this journey.

[23:48] - What if we look back at trauma and painful experiences as a grown adult and not from the perspective of a child?

"I love Be You Podcast!" ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!

Also, if you haven't done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you're not following, there's a good chance you'll miss out.

Meet one of Jill's dearest friends and soul sisters, who happens to be 20 years younger. What? YES!

Sydney Pacula Owen has a love for both the energetic world unseen and our earthly three dimensional experience. She professionally works as a jewelry designer in her family's Diamond business focusing on engagement rings and redesigning the old to new. In her creative work, dance is her religion. She has taught creative movement and movement arts to all ages over the past 15 years. Her teaching emphasizes dance as an enjoyable, authentic form of expression. She finds her greatest fulfillment in connecting with others through art whether it be diamonds or dance.

Listen as they explore unconventional friendship, spirituality, the healing art of intuitive dance, and what it means to find God without rules.

[2:08] - Do you have relationships with other people that aren't easy? Do they feel forced or feel like they don't flow well?

[4:16] - Do you radically accept everything about yourself? Because if you don't, you can't expect that out of a relationship.

[7:50] - Check out Sydney's website: Pacula Diamonds.

[12:21] - Jill shares her version of meeting Sydney and the deep knowing that she was supposed to do something with her.

[14:45] - Sydney explains how she knew she was supposed to be there for Jill.

[19:02] - Sydney invited Jill to the moon dance experience and kept the invitation intentionally vague.

[21:29] - If you are at all interested in a women's dance circle, observe one. It opens up a sense of community.

[22:46] - Giving yourself permission gives others permission.

[25:43] - Sydney had to learn to just trust in the space she has created.

[27:30] - Sydney explains how and why she got into dancing and movement as a way to overcome her disconnection.

[31:53] - Intuitive dance is not planned or choreographed. It will be different every time because it is what you need at the moment.

[35:03] - Give yourself the time and space to just be.

[38:47] - By connecting with her body and truly loving herself through movement and dance, she was able to love herself and her body more.

[41:21] - Sydney describes her faith and how her spirituality doesn't fit into societal religious practice.

[45:13] - Jill has discovered the freedom of being in tune with herself and finding God there.

[47:50] - Prayer and church do not need to look the same for everyone.

[54:21] - Sydney has always been told that she is "an old woman."

"I love Be You Podcast!" ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!

Also, if you haven't done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you're not following, there's a good chance you'll miss out.

After talking about how we sometimes pretend not to know what to do, this week Jill explains how to know if it's intuition and truth or interference.

And today is the day you get asked a really sobering question.

Tune in to find out what that question is....

[2:21] - With any type of deep inner work, you are going to create new neural pathways and new ways of being.

[3:44] - Your intuition will not lead you to confusion.

[4:36] - If it comes from divine truth, it will not be a wobble. It will be clear.

[8:01] - How do you know if something is intuition? How do you know if something is true for you?

[9:23] - If there's any area of your life where you are not fully yourself, how long are you willing to continue that?

[12:01] - If you are your true authentic self, you are going to trigger some other people.

[13:27] - I will not abandon myself for anyone. When you walk this way, you will recognize the wobble and discern the difference.

[16:12] - When are you going to honor your own guidance? When are you going to step into the role of leading yourself?

"I love Be You Podcast!" ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!

Also, if you haven't done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you're not following, there's a good chance you'll miss out.

Jill takes the gloves off and gives us bare knuckles coaching on:

• Pretending we don't know what to do

• Not admitting we aren't willing to do what it takes to get what we say we want

• Being ask-holes

• The lies we tell ourselves about weakness and strength

• Blaming everything outside of ourselves for the life we have

• Why quitting is sometimes the bravest act

[1:27] - Let's chat about the lie we share that we don't know what to do.

[2:48] - Our brain craves safety. But safety isn't safe. It's just what is familiar.

[4:20] - Some of us are genuinely unwilling to do what it takes. That radical honesty is fine.

[6:18] - Some people will continue to complain about not knowing what to do, even though the solutions have been provided.

[9:33] - We can't pretend to not know what to do. If we really don't know what to do, we can find the answers.

[11:03] - You need to do the work, read the books, find the information, take the courses, and do it all yourself. You can't rely on someone else to give it to you.

[12:18] - Some people will not only complain about not knowing what to do, but will come up with lists of reasons why they can't do it.

[14:17] - Being a people pleaser is actually a form of control.

[16:02] - We're married to our story. We're married to the excuses. What if we decided to propose to the answers?

[19:54] - We don't know what we don't know.

[21:08] - Are you willing to become the student?

[24:51] - Things will change for you when you realize you are the director of your own theater.

[27:23] - No one is coming to save you. You are your own hero.

[32:26] - There's a difference between rest and weakness.

[34:03] - Functional freeze is when you are able to function, but inside you are stuck.

[37"25] - Are you going to heed the advice?

"I love Be You Podcast!" ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!

Also, if you haven't done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you're not following, there's a good chance you'll miss out.

When you look out at others, where does it come from?

Does it come from safety and truth?

Or are you needing and wanting to confirm some sort of story you've made up?

In this episode, Jill explores the reasons behind our need to see other people and make up a story about their successes and compare them to our own insecurities.

[9:58] - Some of us are in bondage to these made-up stories.

[11:47] - Why is our knee-jerk reaction to focus on the things that other people seem to be doing better, but when we look at ourselves, we focus on the negative?

[13:44] - We play a comparison game because we focus outward.

[16:24] - When you're focusing externally to find meaning, that's the pitfall.

[17:49] - Why are you looking outward?

[21:13] - If your "come from" is safety and security, you won't feel threatened.

[22:58] - There are things you simply won't know about someone else by looking at them.

[26:06] - We find ourselves looking at other people and we're thinking that they're doing things better because deep down we still feel like we are not enough.

[28:29] - If it is coming through the lens of love, we won't make anything up or add anything to the picture. We won't make it mean anything about ourselves.

[31:02] - Everybody does this. But is it all-consuming?

[33:03] - Consider who you are looking at and how you are making a made-up story mean something about your own life.

[34:32] - It all boils down to outsourcing our worth.

[36:30] - We avoid being still and quiet to face insecurities. It's easier to look outward.

"I love Be You Podcast!" ← If that sounds like you, please consider rating and reviewing my show! This helps the podcast reach more people just like you. Click here, scroll to the bottom, tap to rate with five stars, and select "Write a Review." I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is!

Also, if you haven't done so already, follow Be You Podcast. There is a new episode every single week, and if you're not following, there's a good chance you'll miss out.

With over 25 years of experience in education, Kelly has taught some form of personal growth to individuals from preschool to graduate school and beyond. His early training in drama therapy, non-violent communication, and childhood development combine with his more recent experiences in parenting, personal development and leadership training to create a unique approach to helping individuals grow their most loving relationships.

[1:56] - This conversation goes in many different directions and you'll learn a lot about yourself.

[6:04] - Kelly shares a bit about his background and the foundational experiences that shaped him.

[9:08] - Kelly began working with men, particularly about developing healthy relationships.

[10:56] - What is Drama Therapy and how can this approach guide people through self-discovery and expression?

[16:00] - Jill shares the experience of watching a movie that moved her to identifying and expressing something that was heavy to her.

[19:05] - Kelly became involved in this work early in his life, but continues to learn more and more.

[21:46] - What is the difference between a caregiver and a caretaker?

[24:07] - What are things that show up for you that appear good, but are not what they appear?

[28:17] - Kelly explains how he discovered that he was pointing his finger at someone else.

[30:02] - Women coming together and being vulnerable is built into society. But men in community are socialized in a world where that is not normalized.

[33:50] - What things don't you want other people to know about you?

[36:40] - Kelly's societal expectation was to create and provide safety, but what value do men have when they fear they can't keep it together?

[40:24] - We need authentic masculinity, but that's not just a man's job.

[42:57] - The antagonist is a reflection of the externalized version of the protagonist's internal drama.

[45:25] - You can only see so much through your own ego. You might not be able to do this alone.

[47:57] - Kelly shares the story of a man he has worked with that experienced profound healing in building relationships.

[53:38] - It's not building up strength and hardness that allows you to let go. It's softening.

[54:50] - The things that bring you success are oftentimes the things that hold you back, especially when it comes to relationships.

[57:38] - Kelly explains compassionate communication.

[60:36] - Some communication is just taking your judgments and squeezing them into a form that you think would be more easily accepted. But it's still judgment.

[63:08] - We can't argue with feelings.

[65:44] - Every communication is seeking something that needs to be met.

[68:03] - Sometimes, we truly want conflict.

[70:01] - Jill admits something about how she communicates with her husband sometimes and Kelly suggests it is about wanting to be invited.

[75:03] - Identify why you are going into a conversation and the core need you are seeking to be met.

[76:55] - The majority of conflicts in a relationship stem from both parties needing to be heard and seen.

[79:05] - There are programs online that can help provide community.

I know there was something in this episode that you were meant to hear. Let me know what that is. Thank you for being here today with me on our healing journeys.

• Kelly Gardner Coaching Website

• @iamkellygardner on Instagram