Becoming You

Today, I talk all about the magic of masterminds and answer some of the most common questions people have about them.

For instance, “What the heck is a mastermind?” or “How is a mastermind different from group coaching?”

Masterminds may be a significant financial investment; but, many times, the bigger risk is what you’ll miss by not making the investment.

I know that masterminds have been totally transformative in my own life. In this episode, I also reflect on how different masterminds I’ve been a part of have changed me and my business for the better.

What is a mastermind?

Just by thinking about the word “mastermind”, you can get a picture of what the whole idea is actually about: a coming of minds to create a single masterful mind.

A mastermind is when a coach handpicks a group of men and/or women for sessions that are many times more intimate than their normal coaching services.

But the real magic of masterminds is the people that you rub shoulders with. Unlike a group coaching program, where modules are very structured and time is limited, a mastermind has a looser agenda and highlights the goals of each and every member of the group.

A mastermind creates a safe space where all members can be fully, fully seen—warts and all.

Whereas group coaching has a very specific goal or set of goals in mind that everyone shoots more, in masterminds, the group members create the goals themselves.

Finally, the coach, who serves as a teacher in a regular group coaching session, is more of a facilitator when it comes to masterminds.

What makes a mastermind magical?

You know what they say: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

The masterminds I’ve been to have opened up the world to me, helping me see more possibilities than I ever would alone.

Again, a lot of this is due to the wide spectrum of people that you have access to in these special sessions.

If you join a mastermind, you become part of that chemistry that makes up the magic!

I’ve met men and women from around the world—some who live quiet, solitary lives in the countryside; others who live a nomadic van life; and yet others who practically travel the world for a living.

If you think about it, the limitations we impose on ourselves are there because we were never exposed to others who show us that what we think isn’t possible is, in fact, very possible.

These communities are wonderful. The contributions of each member expand every other member.

How do you get the most magic out of a mastermind?

The first thing you need to do is show up.

Ask the “dumb” questions.

Ask for help.

Reveal yourself in all your vulnerability.

Use your voice to express all your fears and struggles.

I promise you that everytime you share an insecurity or a challenge, you are inspiring someone (or everyone) in that mastermind. They realize that they’re not the only ones experiencing hardship.

And aside from sharing your losses, celebrate your wins!

Humility has its limits. In fact, the more you allow yourself to shine, the more permission you give to other people to shine their own light.

When we see others celebrating themselves, you gain the confidence to celebrate yourself, too.

You heal. And then you expand.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Visit my website: www.visalakshi.com 

Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/lifecoachvisa 

Join my FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomingyou1 

Connect with me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/visashanmugam

Mastermind Link: http://bit.ly/becoming-themastermind

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I give my thoughts on boundaries and why knowing which ones to have can actually contribute to your growth in all areas of your life.

So, how exactly do you define “boundaries”?

In the simplest of terms, I define a boundary as an imaginary, or invisible, line that separates me from you.

There are many categories of boundaries, which we dive into in this episode.

I found that the more healthy boundaries I set in my life, the happier I get. That’s because they are essential to feelings of safety. They are such a basic need.

Don’t so many of us live out our lives without feeling safe on a very deep level? Aren’t so many of us stressed on a day-to-day basis?

Boundaries alleviate some stress because we start to place an “invisible fence” that helps us feel safer.

Boundaries also help us gain a really clear sense of self. We have needs, wants, desires, dreams, values, and an identity. Once we get clear on the things most important to us, the right boundaries that we need to set for ourselves emerge.

I’ll be diving deep into the three types of boundaries you should be setting for yourself today. But before that, let me explain the difference between…

Self-Boundaries and Boundaries That Others Need to Respect

It gets easier to enforce boundaries when you start enforcing boundaries on yourself.

For me, a self-boundary is to not eat gluten or dairy because they wreak havoc in my body.

If you constantly violate your own boundaries, you feel out of alignment trying to get others to remember them.

The more we make it a point to uphold and honor our self-boundaries, the more likely others will respect those boundaries as well.

How others treat you is a reflection on how you treat yourself.

With this context in mind, what are the three types of boundaries you need to set for yourself?

#1 Physical Boundaries

This is the most straightforward type of boundary. Your home is an obvious physical boundary: Strangers can’t just walk through your front door.

Let’s now take this same principle and apply it to our bodies. It’s as simple as being able to clearly tell someone to step away if they cross the boundary that feels right to you, whether it's one or two feet.

We’re not in alignment with what our emotional, mental, and physical needs are at that moment, we end up violating it, say “yes” reluctantly, and then end up resenting ourselves for not having the courage to say “no”.

#2 Emotional Boundaries

Emotional boundaries tend to be easier to set with strangers than with our family and close friends because we don’t want to come off as cold or uncaring to those we love.

One of the things I’ve learned in my own marriage is that boundaries can prevent common arguments from ever happening.

Communication is essential to setting really good emotional boundaries.

#3 Time Boundaries

Honoring your time starts with the word “no”.

As human beings, we naturally feel compelled to impress others, to not let someone else down. We are so scared of the word “no” because we don’t want to make people feel bad.

Your time is precious. Look at every aspect of your life and find out how you can save more of that time and, by extension, that energy that you can now put to better use.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Visit my website: www.visalakshi.com 

Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/lifecoachvisa 

Join my FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomingyou1 

Connect with me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/visashanmugam

Mastermind Link: http://bit.ly/becoming-themastermind

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I welcome fitness and EFT tapping coach Jennifer Dadigan. She and her husband Dre are the co-owners of MOC Fitness based in Portland, Oregon.

What’s your personal and professional background?

Jennifer: I live in Portland, Oregon in the Pacific Northwest with my blended family. My family is all about health and fitness. We’re a body-mind-spirit-centered family. My husband Dre is also in the fitness industry and we are very much in alignment when it comes to both our goals and our values. We co-own MOC Fitness. I used to be a massage therapist before getting into the fitness industry, and my latest passion is EFT tapping. As we grow and change in different phases of our life, we learn many different things along the way. Early on, I only wanted to learn and do “the next best thing”. I loved working with people through their bodies so I dabbled in everything in that space. Now that I’m in my 40s, I’ve come to love working with people’s minds and building connections with them. In fact, the whole person interests me now. I realized that I’ve always been doing the same thing throughout my career, and the undercurrent of it all—my life’s purpose—is connecting with people.

What is EFT tapping?

Jennifer: EFT is an acronym for “Emotional Freedom Techniques” and is also known as “tapping”. It’s derived from an Eastern modality of acupressure. It’s Eastern medicine meets Western medicine of psychology. So, what we’re doing is we’re tapping on different acupressure points on the body and you are repeating words and sentences, mirroring me—the coach. During our initial consultation, we connect and you tell me whatever it is you’re struggling with, whether mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual. You mirror me as we tap through these different points in your body, and I take down words that you’re saying. It’s proven that it’s much more powerful when clients hear their own words spoken back to them instead of the coach’s. We do that and go deeper and deeper. There are usually three layers. The first is the venting stage; the second is the possibility stage; the third is the affirmations stage. Everything is client-led and we don’t shy away from negativity because we want the experience to be as natural and as authentic as possible as we dig up their innermost truths. EFT helps you come out of that fight-or-flight syndrome and relaxes your central nervous system and gives you the space and time to release pressure and allow you to see them from a calmer, more impersonal perspective.

Why were you so drawn to this modality that you wanted to become certified?

Jennifer: As humans, we are given tools to navigate life. My reality on this Earth is that people I talk to tend to tell me everything that’s going on with them. I’m really, really good at playing Devil’s Advocate and offering perspectives that hopefully help them look at themselves with a little more love. I love EFT because it gives me a scientifically-proven method to actually help people—not just listen to them. And it’s a vehicle that allows me to step out of the way and let the work do the healing. The most important relationships we have in our life are with our body and mind and we need to be open to communicating with them instead of blocking that communication.

Learn more about Jennifer Dadigan:

Her free Facebook Group: The Body Bank: A transformational Community for deeper body love 

Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenniferdadigan

Mastermind Link: http://bit.ly/becoming-themastermind

The way I parent today is very different to how I used to parent.

Listen in as I share the six lessons that I learned over the years in becoming a more conscious parent.

Lesson #1: Take care of your own needs, first.

When you heal your relationship with yourself, every other relationship in your life transforms for the better.

When you change, the whole world around you changes, if only because you start to view life through different lenses.

As mothers, we are told that we are good parents when we are able to do everything possible to make our kids happy, and the happier our kids are, the better parents we are.

By taking care of yourself first, you gain a more energized body and a clearer mind that can distinguish between your kids’ immediate needs versus those things that can wait.

Most importantly, you’re going to have the patience to take care of their needs.

Lesson #2: Take care of your inner child.

Self-love cannot take place if we are not embracing every part of ourselves, and that includes our inner child.

If you take care of your inner child, you start to see life through your own child’s perspective.

And remember: Connecting with your inner child is not a one-time event. It is a continuous connection that needs to be built and maintained.

Lesson #3: Accept your own mistakes and forgive yourself.

This has been such a pivotal step in improving my relationship with my kids.

The more I have learned to be accepting of my own mistakes, and the easier I have found it to forgive myself when I’ve fallen short of my own expectations, the easier it has become to not yell at my kids when they make mistakes.

Start giving yourself more grace for the mistakes that you make. Start becoming more accepting of your imperfections and your shortcomings. You will then stop putting so much pressure on your kids to get it right the first time, as well.

Lesson #4: Stop basing your self-worth as a parent by your children’s performance.

We regard our kids’ behavior as a reflection of who we are as parents, whether they behave or misbehave.

Are you letting your children live a life of their choosing or a life of your choosing?

Understand that your values may not be the same as your kids’.

And that’s okay.

Lesson #5: Hold space for your kids when they experience big feelings.

Anything that somebody would label as “bad” behavior—whether they’re lying to us or having a meltdown—I refer to as “big” behavior instead.

That’s because, the second we assign the word “bad” or “good” to anything, we are, by definition, being judgmental.

Anytime judgment rears its ugly head, you operate from a place of fear or spite and you put up a wall that prevents you from having open, effective, and efficient communication with the other person.

Diminishing your child’s feelings creates separation. We don’t have to be responsible for “fixing” their feelings. We just have to take responsibility in being a witness to those feelings.

Lesson #6: Guide your kids to draw conclusions of their own.

We are so quick to tell our kids to do things our way.

I still need to keep reminding myself of this every day.

Once parties have calmed down, make a point to go to them and ask, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Open your mind to hearing about the situation from their perspective. Use open-ended questions and ask them how you can do things better next time.

Then apologize.

Feelings need to be felt. Feelings serve as a compass to tell us what is wrong.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Visit my website: www.visalakshi.com 

Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/lifecoachvisa 

Join my FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomingyou1 

Connect with me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/visashanmugam

Mastermind Link: http://bit.ly/becoming-themastermind

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, we discuss the vital importance of connecting with your own intuition and why so many of us struggle with doing so.

What exactly is “intuition”?

Some refer to it as your gut feeling or a sixth sense. I like to define it as an inner knowing or your soul guiding you. Your intuition alerts you when danger lurks; but it’s also there to nudge you toward decisions that can improve your life for the better.

You may call these coincidences. I know I certainly used to. But the more I’ve grown spiritually, I truly came to believe that there is a higher consciousness at play. We’re all energetic beings that are connected not only to one another, but to that Source that created each and every one of us and every single thing on this planet.

Why are so many of us out of tune with our intuition?

Many of us, especially if we’ve found considerable success in our professional lives, are very out of tune with our intuition. That’s because we’re already naturally risk-averse, and the higher we climb the success ladder, our tolerance for taking unconventional actions only continues to decrease.

As adults, our minds take past experiences and crunch the numbers—taking probabilities into consideration—and churn out decisions based on what it thinks is possible and keeps us on track.

Our mind is our ego, and it hates risk. It operates out of a place of fear.

Our intuition is our soul, and it loves risk. It operates out of a place of love.

The soul can teach us things our mind never can.

On the surface, intuition seems like a wild, unpredictable thing reserved for children, that we eventually grow out of once we “mature”.

And it’s understandable. How many of us have followed our gut and later regretted it, concluding that we “didn’t think through” that decision?

But here’s the thing: Your intuition never, ever guides you the wrong way. We simply have not interpreted what happened in the right away.

Why is now the right time to connect with our intuition?

Our intuition is the blueprint for our life. If we follow that blueprint, opportunities that we never saw coming will come our way.

Connecting with our intuition is the gateway to a life of total freedom and ease.

How exactly can I start connecting with my intuition?

First off, if you think you don’t have an intuition, that’s complete BS. We all came into this world with a built-in intuitive system for navigating life.

Now, some of us have an easier time tapping into our intuition than others, but we can always train, nurture, and strengthen what we already have.

Start small and simple.

So, the first question to ask yourself if you want to connect with your intuition is this:

“What do I need right now?”

It’s such a simple question, but how often do we ask ourselves what we need at this particular moment?

Alternatively, you can ask yourself:

“What feels good to me?”

It’s really not that complicated. It could be as simple as satisfying a craving for ice cream. Your mind might step in and warn you that you’d be going against your diet. But it doesn’t hurt to treat yourself every once in a while.

Connect with your body to connect with your intuition.

Get accustomed to how intuition feels in your body by creating an environment of self-love where you feel safe to tap into your soul. The more you acknowledge and get in touch with your intuition, the stronger it gets.

And celebrate once it’s done! If your intuition was on-point, you need to give yourself positive reinforcement to grow that intuitive muscle and keep it up.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Visit my website: www.visalakshi.com 

Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/lifecoachvisa 

Join my FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomingyou1 

Connect with me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/visashanmugam

Mastermind Link: http://bit.ly/becoming-themastermind

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, we dive into some very simple breathing techniques that will help you respond to situations in life, instead of reacting to them.

Why focus on the breath? Well, I’m sure I’m not the only one who has a hard time breathing when caught in an overwhelmed state. When we’re bombarded by a flood of emotions, our mind goes in a hundred different directions attempting to stop potential disasters from happening.

That’s right: When in a panic, in our mind, disaster is a foregone conclusion. We are not in our body in that moment. We feel scattered. We are not grounded.

The reason we always hear, “Calm down; take a deep breath,” is because the very act of breathing helps us to reconnect to our body.

Breathing is normally an unconscious activity. However, if we choose to consciously control our breath, it’s as if time slows down. We gain more control over our next move. We feel safer.

When you find yourself beginning to panic for whatever reason at all, try to become aware of three aspects of your breath:

• Intensity: Is your breathing powerful or weak?
• Depth: Is your breathing deep or shallow?
• Pace: Is your breathing rapid or slow?

Once you take note of these three factors in your breathing, compare them to how you breathe when you’re in a relaxed state. How different are the intensity, depth, and pace of your breath when you’re calm? And more critically, how differently do you make your decisions in this state? I rest my case!

When we have a calm and clear mind, we have greater access to our intuition.

This is so powerful. Whenever we make decisions from an intuitive place, we are so much more confident in the decision as being right for us, even if it is not “right” in the minds of other people. And it won’t matter to us. It all comes back to these feelings of safety, security, and stability which come with relaxed breathing.

After all, when we’re so focused on safety, we cannot focus on thriving.

So, when in doubt, return to your breath, and take in bellyfulls of air. Remember that you are your own healer, and that power comes from taking control of your breath.

Now that we’ve laid the foundation, here are four simple breathing techniques to help you take control of your breath and, by extension, take control of your environment.

Technique #1: Box Breathing

Inhale for four; hold for four; exhale for four; hold for four.

Rinse and repeat this pattern as many times as it takes to find your center.

Technique #2: Continual Conscious Breathing

As the name suggests, this is a deliberate, ongoing breath with no holding in between.

Slowly and deeply inhale, filling up both your tummy and your chest. Exhale immediately after.

I personally inhale and exhale through my nose, but try inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. It doesn’t really matter as long as you do what is most comfortable for you.

Technique #3: Heart Resonance

This breathing technique helps you connect to your heart space.

If you want to slow down a rapid heartbeat, use this pattern to experience heart coherence: connecting your mind, heart, and body in a straight line.

Inhale for six and exhale for six. Repeat this only six times.

Technique #4: Double It

Inhale for a count that feels good to you, and then exhale for a count twice as long.

Elongating your exhale is an incredible way to help your body calm down, because you are exhaling every single ounce of air in your body.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Visit my website: www.visalakshi.com 

Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/lifecoachvisa 

Join my FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomingyou1 

Connect with me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/visashanmugam

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I discuss my mindset and approach to navigating challenges in life, big or small.

Challenges are everywhere and, oftentimes, they come when they are least expected. Obviously, we don’t experience huge, life-altering challenges everyday; but we do tend to run into a number of “micro-challenges” that demand us to step out of our comfort zone, even if just a little.

Because these challenges are often seemingly insignificant (at least in the moment), we deal with the mild frustration we feel by ignoring or dismissing many of these obstacles. Why waste energy that can be best channeled somewhere more productive?

I’m here to encourage you to look at every challenge you encounter, especially those micro-challenges, in a way that may run contrary to what your gut tells you.

If you make a conscious effort to run through the following six steps, I promise that you will gain the ability to turn every problem you face into an opportunity to become a better version of yourself.

Step #1: See the challenge as an opportunity for growth

Something happened to make you not feel great about yourself. You can let that challenge slide and forget it, or you can choose to lean into it and ask yourself, “What can this teach me?”

Why is this important? Because how you choose to respond to challenges compounds over time. Your emotional reactions to anything at all, all build up to the future person you will become.

Step #2: Become aware of the story you tell yourself in the moment.

The most common story we tell ourselves when encountering challenges is that I am a victim to whatever or whoever is giving us a hard time.

Other common stories we tell ourselves amid hardship are: I’m not good enough, or I’m being rejected.

As you can see, it always comes back to some deep-seated, basic need that is not being met.

Step #3: Choose to see the story from their perspective.

The magic that comes out of awareness is that you’re able to immediately take a step back from the drama that is unfolding.

Stop trying to be right. Most of us live our lives trying to prove to ourselves and to others that we are right. Consequently, we fail to see things from anybody else’s perspective but our own.

The thing is, it doesn’t really matter who is “right” and who is “wrong”. Most of the time, conflicts come about simply because of two or more different perspectives.

If you develop the bandwidth to hold more than just your own perspective, it won’t matter to you, either, who is “right” and who is “wrong”.

Step #4: Accept how you are feeling instead of resisting it.

Whenever we feel bad, we immediately try to “fix” that feeling.

What acceptance does is give you the chance to meet that wounded part of yourself. Those wounded parts do not ever ask to be fixed. They ask to be seen.

“Do you see the part of me that feels humiliated?”

“Do you see the part of me that feels small?”

“Do you see the part of me that feels rejected?”

These wounds are screaming to be seen. They just want attention. Meet them with tenderness. Just as we approach a child with a boo-boo with compassion and kiss that boo-boo, we can give those wounded parts of us attention and regard and tell them that everything is okay.

Step #5: Once you see your wound with love, you begin to see it from a whole different vantage point.

Your challenges don’t have to define you. They are just stories from different perspectives that are playing out in front of us.

Step #6: Grab hold of the solutions that begin to show up.

You can’t solve a challenge at the same level it was created. You have to have a different vantage point. You have to be a witness to what is happening. As long as you’re identifying with it, you’re not going to be able to solve it.

You have to be vibrating at a different level for solutions to show up, because the solutions are at a different vibration than the problem.

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I welcome Maru Iabichela. Known as the “Queen of Expansion”, she is an executive leadership coach and consultant and the author of Infinite Receiving: 100 Days to Expand Your Capacity to Receive.

Tell us a little bit about who you are and what you do.

Maru: I did not grow up with confidence. I was born and raised in Venezuela. I remember flying First Class with my parents as a child and asking the flight attendant if I could be put back in Coach because I didn’t want to be in front. This carried over into my foray into entrepreneurship because even though I wanted to work for myself, I didn’t want to be seen. I had these deep “shrinking patterns” where I knew my potential, but I was still uncomfortable around standing out. In 2010, I had my first paid gig to travel and speak and empower an audience with a microphone in my hand. For me to be able to accomplish that is proof that you can evolve. You can change your old ways of being really small, really scared, intimidated, shy.

Talk to us about how the concept of “infinite receiving” came about and how you built an entire business around it.

Maru: This is perfect for anyone who has tried everything and nothing is working. I remember investing a ton of time, energy, and money into my business with few results. I once had 18 discovery calls and nothing came through. Exactly five years ago, I was so fed up with my reality that I decided to go to a hotel for a night just to get away. On my way to the hotel, something strange, but also fairly common, happened. I heard a very distinct voice inside me who said, “Maru, you only get what you have the capacity to receive.” I asked myself, “Am I praying with the doors closed?” I assumed that my capacity to receive was as infinite as the Universe that is continually expanding. What if I started affirming that my capacity to receive was going to grow? I started my affirmations, and within 20 minutes, I got a text from somebody who I had spoken to perhaps two months earlier from the 18 discovery calls, and she signed on as my client. Blessing after blessing appeared after that. I did a video telling my story not long after, and it went semi-viral. I knew then that I was simply a spokesperson or a mouthpiece for this newfound power. It wasn’t mine, but I knew then that I could be a messenger. Within a year, my business brought in seven figures.

How will life change once we’re able to infinitely receive?

Maru: Instead of trying to control what we receive, we need to be open to receiving everything with an open heart and an open mind, which includes the good and the bad. Infinite receiving is more than just about money and fame. An easy example is the criticism that comes with success or even just striving for success. Most of us are trying to receive with a shield. You are capable of handling what comes. You will not achieve your biggest goals and highest ideals without facing the hardship, and ugliness that comes along the way.

What can we do today to start opening ourselves up to infinite receiving?

Maru: Notice the little things. Watch your language. How do you react when good things happen? Do you get defensive when someone offers to pay for your meal? It’s something as simple as that. For any blessing you receive, no matter how big or small, you’re allowed to be shocked at first, but never tell yourself that you don’t deserve it. Embrace it, then say, “More, please!” Also, don’t “save the best for last”—wear those expensive shoes you’ve been saving for a big event; spend your Frequent Flyer miles; treat yourself to a fancy dinner. Get the momentum going! Finally, don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Learn more about Maru Iabichela:

Her website: http://www.maruiabichela.com 

Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/infinitereceiving

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I welcome my son Arya to get his take on the topics I cover on the show!

Tell me about yourself.

Arya: I’m ten years old, finishing up fifth grade. My favorite hobbies are cars, reading about cars, and reading in general. I love computers and playing video games with my friends. I also love playing the piano, drawing, and learning my mother tongue, Tamil.

To you, what is the Law of Attraction and manifesting all about?

Arya: I’m paraphrasing from an audiobook that I heard with my mom: Basically, the Law of Attraction is the concept that negative energy attracts negative and positive energy attracts positive. So, get clear on what you want, then start feeling like you already have it, and then have gratitude as if you’ve already got it.

How hard is it for you to feel like you already have something when, in reality, you don’t have it yet? What gets in the way of you manifesting?

Arya: It’s kind of hard for me because things happen in my day that make me feel mad even though I want to feel happy. Negative thoughts like, “I’m never gonna get this,” or “There’s no chance,” or “The Universe is never gonna do its job,” get in the way.

Can you share some things that you’ve manifested in your life?

Arya: Last year, everybody said that Halloween was going to be cancelled because it was gonna rain. I manifested. I said that I want Halloween. I want candy. I’ve been good all year—I deserve my payment. So, I manifested it. The next day, it looked like it was still gonna rain, and I held it off for two hours—just enough time for me, my brother, and my family to go trick or treating and get all the candy we needed.

How do you deal with it when you don’t manifest what you want?

Arya: You’ll probably be really disappointed or crushed because you really wanted it. You should stay calm, but you shouldn’t shun the Universe like, “You didn’t do anything for me so why should I talk to you again?” Just tell yourself that it was in the Universe’s best interest not to give you that thing.

Do you find it easy or hard to manifest things?

Arya: Like I said, I’m not really good at feeling something out of thin air. If I’m angry, I need to sleep it off to be happy again the next day.

What are some ways or tools that you have to work through really tough emotions like anger?

Arya: Sometimes, I just let it out. I scream into my pillow. Sometimes I throw things or just cry in my mother’s hands. If I keep hiding the feelings, they just get worse and worse and worse until the breaking point where it erupts.

How does it feel to have a mom who believes in manifesting and positive thinking?

Arya: It’s sort of weird. It’s good because she’s always thinking positive and she doesn’t get angry as much like my dad does. But it’s also bad because, whenever something bad happens, she always pushes me to meditate. It’s like a pushy librarian telling you to read books.

What changes have you seen in me as a mom since I started practicing manifesting and positive thinking?

Arya: Well, you definitely don’t shout as much and you don’t get angry as much because you’re meditating and, like you said, meditating helps you get your anger out through breathing. You’ve been a lot more patient. You’re really like the peacemaker in the family.

How would you advise our listeners if they want to get started with manifesting?

Arya: My mom said this once: Start small. Start off small and work your way up.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Visit my website: www.visalakshi.com 

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In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I welcome David Kennet, musician, voice coach, and Intuitive.

How did you get into sound healing?

David: At birth, I was diagnosed with chronic severe life-threatening asthma. It was so debilitating that I really struggled to survive. My mom would rush me to the hospital in the middle of the night just to get me to the ER room when I would have an asthma attack. Ultimately, after seeing many different specialists, she would take me to medical doctors, naturopathic doctors, and healers; but, nobody could really help me. That was until, at 19 years old, I met this extraordinary man named Kenneth G. Mills who is a conductor, metaphysician, and musician who had this acapella singing group called the The Star-Scape Singers. My parents invited me to attend a rehearsal one day and, to my surprise, Kenneth Mills turned towards me and said, “Would you like to sing?” I was shy at first, but eventually my voice began to open up and I had a pretty good range of notes. Ultimately, the asthma slowly went away the more I sang. It was a complete miracle. I did some research and, sure enough, there has been a lot of clinical studies on the benefits of singing, vibration, and music on the body and our emotional and spiritual state. Aside from the grace of God, there is some actual science to back up the fact that I didn’t have asthma anymore. I found out that our sound is our soul. The more we can feel comfortable with our own voice, metaphorically and literally, the healthier and more balanced we can be.

Why is sound an essential part of us and why do we need to express it in order to feel full?

David: Sound can express what is beyond mere thought. That’s why we enjoy music so much, because we feel things that we can’t quite express through words. Spoken language is limited. Sound is its own language, and frequencies have no limitation in what they can communicate.

What made you decide to use singing as a modality to help others?

David: I call it Quantum Sound Therapy, because I’ve found that sound can communicate on multiple levels and dimensions. It can obviously reach us on an emotional level, but it can also reach us on a physical level and a mental level. You can use sound to reprogram your subconscious and reach places that are otherwise inaccessible, because if you use sound with intention, you can carry that specific intention into your subconscious mind and rewrite programs that may not be serving you. It’s really, really transformational work.

What is the instrument you were playing earlier?

David: It’s called a euphone. Ultimately, the instrument doesn’t matter. Your intention, based on love, does. You can use anything, even your voice, and move mountains. It’s about your intention and the intention of the auditor—the person receiving the sound. Those two energies, coming together, can cause tremendous transformation.

What is “sympathetic resonance”?

David: Sympathetic resonance is when you can play, say, a tuning fork and you have another tuning fork that is attuned to the same note. Even if two instruments are not touching each other, they can cause one another to sing the same note.

I saw your post on Instagram where you compare vocal chords to a woman’s vagina. Please talk about what you meant by that post.

David: The main reason I compared the two was that they visually do resemble each other. I found that intriguing because it makes sense: When we make a sound, we birth our reality. When we find our voice, we find liberation. In my work, I help people use sound to manifest their goals. Sound is a creative force. It makes sense that it resembles the organ that we come through.

Learn more about David Kennet:

His website: https://www.soul-sounding.com 

Follow him on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/david_kennet