Becoming You

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I discuss life lessons that we can learn through nature.

Now, I’m somebody who never enjoyed being outdoors much. At least not till recently. It was only when my life coach encouraged me to do a grounding exercise (walking outside on the grass, sand, or dirt in your bare feet) that I finally began to discover the value of nature in our personal journey of healing.

Here are ten lessons I’ve learned about myself and about life thanks to the gift of nature.

LESSON #1: We are a part of nature.

The elements that make up the fields, the beaches, the trees, the sky, the sun, the clouds, the rain, the ocean… many of those same elements are inside of us.

With that in mind, how can we feel whole if we’re not connected to nature?

If you’re not spending time outside, that’s akin to turning off the flow of life, because you’re essentially disconnecting from what makes you, you.

LESSON #2: Our natural state is to be outside.

Who has ever chosen to imagine themselves in a small room, sitting in front of a computer?

Our equilibrium—our natural state—is found outside.

LESSON #3: Embrace the abundant nature of life.

Nature never worries about not having or being enough. It never worries about not having enough carbon dioxide, or enough wind, or enough sunlight. The natural state of nature is that there is more than enough.

Take what you need and the Earth will continue to give us more.

LESSON #4: Nature reminds us to slow down.

Nature teaches us to be present, enjoy the moment, and experience the process of life in its fullness.

LESSON #5: Nature makes you feel safe.

I challenge you to give it a shot. Once you get over that initial hump of discomfort and unease, let yourself relax into the experience. Take a few deep breaths and imagine yourself letting go of your tension through your feet into the ground, where Mother Earth receives it all.

I guarantee you, it’s going to help.

LESSON #6: We are connected to nature.

If we don’t connect with nature in its purest form, we disconnect from our source. How can we find ourselves if we are not physically in touch with the things that make us, us?

LESSON #7: Nature is divine.

If you stop and think about it, how the world made itself is a miraculous thing.

The cycle of seasons.

Death and rebirth.

Hot and cold.

Light and darkness.

When I think about the fact that the divinity that created nature created me, that brings such a magical quality to life.

LESSON #8: Nature is patient.

Nature does not rush. Nature takes its sweet, sweet time.

LESSON #9: Nature teaches us the value of seasons in life.

Humans live in a world of materially-oriented success and achievement. We are taught that we need to be expanding and growing all the time.

The Universe tells us that life is cyclical: There are highs and lows. Why don’t we embrace these seasons in our own lives?

During certain periods, there will be shrinking; there will be recalibration; there will be hibernation. And that’s totally okay, because that’s how life is meant to be. It’s better to accept and surrender and look for the beauty in that rather than fighting it.

LESSON #10: Nature teaches us to rest.

Rest doesn’t have to be earned. We simply rest when we need to rest.

Give yourself full permission to rest instead waiting till your tank is low or, worse, till you completely burn out.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Visit my website: www.visalakshi.com 

Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/lifecoachvisa 

Join my FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomingyou1 

Connect with me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/visashanmugam 

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I discuss how anyone can find more of that elusive secret sauce to conquering whatever you set your mind to: motivation.

Before I hop in, I want to set the stage by making the claim that motivation is a myth. We all believe that motivation gives us the energy to get started on something. That’s an illusion. It’s just not true.

Motivation does not create momentum. Action creates momentum.

Motivation is an internal feeling that we all want—and expect—to get as a signal that we are ready to do the thing. We believe that, if we are motivated, we will be able to see our task to the end and give it our very best.

With all that setting the stage, what is the key to motivation? Where do we find it? The following are four methods to becoming more motivated today.

METHOD #1: Invest your time, energy, and money into it.

I’ve personally found that I’m way more excited and way more motivated to do the actual work when I have invested my time, my energy, and, most of all, my money into the endeavor.

When you’ve invested all three of these factors, your motivation will skyrocket.

I’m currently undergoing a six-month breathwork facilitation program that I spent money to get involved in, and we’re expected to show up every single Monday for an hour-and-a-half lecture online, do one-hour calls with a peer every single week, submit homework, and attend a live breathwork session.

That’s four-to-five hours of work every single week for six months. Do I have the motivation to go every single week? No! Many times, I have to show up at inconvenient times. But guess what? I’m motivated because I’ve sunk time, energy, and money into this program. I’m going to keep showing up till the end.

Give yourself full permission to go all-in on what sets your heart on fire.

METHOD #2: Have a trusted person keep you accountable.

We need to be held accountable for whatever goal we set for ourselves, no matter how big or small that goal may be—whether we’re looking to lose ten pounds in two months or start a business online.

As humans, we hate disappointing people. We want to be respected and accepted.

Even if it pains us, we will show up for the thing we said we would show up for, as long as somebody is checking up on us.

METHOD #3: Find a community.

Where would naturally you push yourself harder? Working out by yourself at home, or working out in a group setting?

When we see other people, in real life, in close proximity, doing and saying the things that we believe in, or overcoming obstacles similar to our in real-time, it lights a fire under us. It inspires us. It helps us get motivated when we fail for the tenth time.

METHOD #4: Start—and keep going—with why.

“Start with why” is such a common refrain, but most of us continually forget this foundational principle.

Keep asking why until you reach the crux of your goal, which may happen after seven whys, maybe more, maybe less. In this case, a few of many ultimate answers might be, “I want to feel free in my body,” or “I want to be around to see my grandkids,” or “I want to feel proud of myself.”

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Visit my website: www.visalakshi.com 

Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/lifecoachvisa 

Join my FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomingyou1 

Connect with me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/visashanmugam 

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I discuss my six best tips to a successful marriage based on 18 years of my own experience.

That’s not to say I have the perfect marriage; far from it. I was a baby when I got married at 21 (my husband was 24). I certainly didn’t know who the heck I was and what I wanted out of life—and to this day, I probably still don’t know!

But my husband and I grew up together, and we learned a lot over the past almost-two decades. I have learned to show up in order for our marriage to thrive. I want to share the down-and-dirty with you, as well as actionable steps that you can apply to your own marriage today.

SECRET #1: Get support in your marriage.

By this, I mean marriage counseling.

Within the first two years of our marriage, we hit some pretty big bumps on the road. This was around the time I got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. I was also in a country where I knew nobody, having moved from the U.K. to America.

I looked to my husband for everything because I didn’t have anyone else I could talk to, and that put a ton of strain on our relationship during a time we were still learning how to communicate with each other.

There were a ton of times I didn’t want to be around him. We had a lot of fights, many of them passive-aggressive.

My husband was resistant to my initial suggestion that we see a marriage counselor; but luckily he eventually came around to it, and I’m so glad he did.

SECRET #2: Do not try to change your spouse.

Instead of trying to change your spouse, focus on trying to change yourself.

If you want a successful marriage, start working on yourself today. It’s not your spouse’s responsibility to make you happy, but yours and yours alone.

And remember: When you start to change yourself, the people around you will either rise with you or fall away.

SECRET #3: Seek support, not permission.

We ask their permission, in obvious and subtle ways, and when they don’t give it to us, we get mad at them. It’s not their responsibility to understand how important it is for you. It’s up to you to take bold action toward whatever it is you want and, if it for whatever reason does not work out, know that you’ve got your own back.

Your spouse doesn’t need to understand you. They just need to support you.

SECRET #4: Ask for what you want in the relationship.

Most of us are very scared to ask for what we desire in our relationship. We hold back, thinking that what we ask for might hurt them.

“I want more time.”

“I deserve more respect.”

“I need to take some time out for myself.”

“I do not like the way I’m being spoken to at the moment.”

If we want our spouses to better support our wants and desires, we need to take the responsibility for communicating our point of view to them so they can understand what we need.

SECRET #5: Make yourself a priority.

Just as you should never wait for your spouse to change for your sake, it’s never a good idea to wait for your spouse to make you a priority.

Empower your spouse to help you. Empower them to fill the boots that you have been filling.

SECRET #6: Only take responsibility for what is yours in the relationship.

Think about how you can step up and take ownership to help fill the gaps that you see in your relationship, based on what your spouse tells you.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Visit my website: www.visalakshi.com 

Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/lifecoachvisa 

Join my FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomingyou1 

Connect with me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/visashanmugam 

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I discuss one of my favorite topics: handling failure.

A lot of us are scared of failure because we never experienced true failure in our life. The thought of failure alone scares us.

The message I want to share in this episode is how important failure is to achieving success. That may sound counterintuitive, but failure is absolutely necessary when going for big goals. Fear of failure stops so many of us from going after our dreams before we even take the first step.

In order to become really good at handling failure, we first need to rethink what “failure” means to us. It’s usually thought of as being unable to achieve a desired result. I want to challenge you today to redefine that.

Today, I define failure as experiencing a different outcome to what you expected. When failure is defined in such black-and-white terms as mentioned above, we put an unfair amount of pressure on ourselves and diminish the lessons that we can take away from those experiences and grow from them.

Instead, I implore you to consider the grey areas that exist when we talk about success and failure. Take the shame and guilt that we tend to immediately feel as a result of failure and take those feelings out of the equation. Look at the situation objectively and tell yourself that this outcome is simply different from the one you originally desired.

Don’t take failure personally. The endeavor might have been a failure, but it doesn’t make you a failure. Refuse to tell yourself the lie your failures define you as a person.

Another important lesson I learned is that a big failure isn’t necessarily a dead-end in your life. I had “failed” in corporate America, in my sleep consulting business, and in my network marketing career, in that I never achieved the goals I set for myself during those three periods in my life. But, if it wasn’t for those “failures”, I never would have been led to finally discover my purpose and live my dream as a life and mindset coach.

If I hadn’t “failed” at all of those things, I wouldn’t be where I am today. And just as we are all inspired by stories of success that were preceded by stories of failure after failure, we, too, can find success by embracing setbacks and plowing forward anyway. Remember: Your biggest failure is going to be someone else’s inspiration.

Give yourself permission to fail, because only by failing will you get to the thing that you will be excellent at.

Nobody becomes excellent on day one. You have to give yourself multiple chances to fail to become excellent. In fact, look for opportunities where you will inevitably experience failure. Get out of your comfort zone and take more risks. Actively learn to fail, and watch as your whole person grows stronger and wiser with each new failure.

On a practical level, start setting “good”, “better”, and “best” goals instead of a single ideal such as your target revenue or weight goal for the month. Give yourself a range of goals to achieve so that, no matter where you land, you’ll feel proud of yourself.

Finally, be proud of your attempts. A lot of people don’t even have the courage to take risks, knowing they might meet failure on the other side. The faster you fail, the quicker you achieve.

Never forget that failure is an amazing teacher more than success ever is.

Vishen Lakhiani once said that “your soul isn’t here to achieve. Your soul is here to grow.” When we attach meaning to something meaningless, we end up pursuing some imaginary goal that we feel is going to fulfill us when it won’t.

“The true reality,” says Vishen, “is that success and failure are illusions.”

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Visit my website: www.visalakshi.com 

Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/lifecoachvisa 

Join my FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomingyou1 

Connect with me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/visashanmugam 

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I welcome Navjit Kandola, spiritual advisor, educator, speaker, filmmaker, full-time mum, and the Director of the Nizhoni School for Global Consciousness.

Talk about your experience attending the Nizhoni School for Global Consciousness.

Navjit: I started off with traditional education and ended up studying law in England. I knew I was expected to become a barrister and have an arranged marriage. I didn’t find the future spelled out for me all that exciting. As an empath, I was interested in telepathy, past lives, mind over matter, the purpose for my existence, and how it all works. And I wanted to be of service all over the world. I came across a book by Chris Griscom called Ecstasy Is a New Frequency which talks about the soul level of conversation, having a higher self, listening to that intuition, and laying out a kind of a map in consciousness. That’s when I knew I found my teacher.

Why do so many of us live in our heads?

Navjit: If you think about it, a lot of people are in a low-grade fight-or-flight mode, which falls into heightened awareness. Heightened awareness is about survival. When we’re pumping that adrenaline and going through those cycles of cortisol, the body is attempting to get us to safety. We like the feeling of being in our minds because it makes us feel safe and in control and always looking forward in an attempt to control what’s coming. The thing is, though, the body can only live in the now.

How do we connect the dots between our body and our mind?

Navjit: Slow down. The speed of the mind is very different from the speed of the body and the speed of emotions. We know our minds well enough to become enmeshed in what we call the inner critic.

Why does somatic healing, or disassembling unproductive constructs in our subconscious to the benefit of our bodies, work so well?

Navjit: Some part of us is replaying being in that cage and this energy is compelling our bodies. It leads to things like bad posture. We’re totally unaware that we’re following some deep, unforgotten memory or conclusion or belief. Somatic healing takes us back to that state, slows down the framerate, and allows us to pinpoint the instincts that were driving us in those little moments; not intellectually, but somatically and emotionally.

One of the things that I loved as a result of working with you is learning not just to listen, but to trust my body, and to experience change as slow as I needed to instead of forcing it.

Navjit: That’s so true. When we are struggling and want to heal, there is of course a desire to get it done as fast as possible. What we forget is to include the body which is going to be processing all of that. It may not be ready for a full liquid diet or to eat only vegetables or to cut out all sugar.

For listeners who are struggling to connect with their bodies, what would be some good, basic starting points to start forming a connection?

Navjit: One exercise I like if I’m really anxious or my mind is racing is curling up. Curl up and bring your head down to your knees and hold yourself tight. Let yourself be there until you feel an impulse from your body to uncurl. When you feel that voice saying you want to uncurl, do so super, super slowly. If your mind is thinking that it isn’t working, you should slow it down even more until it barely feels like you’re moving. Pro tip: Instead of continuing to uncurl with your upper body, keep it going by uncurling your legs and feet. Stand up and put your feet on the ground, feeling that you can put the weight of your body on the Earth. This exercise will bring you back into your body. It’s going to take time; but not that much time.

Learn more about Navjit Kandola:

Her website: www.TenderLogic.com

Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/navjitkandola/

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, we dive deep into how to recover from something that we have been triggered by, whether it’s a certain traumatic event or a particularly hurtful comment thrown at you in the past.

The five steps I’ve put together to work through your emotional triggers are the exact same ones that I personally follow time and time again to free myself whenever something gets under my skin, making me feel sad, angry, disappointed, or frustrated.

Step #1: Become aware of your triggers.

First thing’s first: pinpoint exactly what your emotional triggers are. Once you know what they are, you now have the choice to either stop that train or keep riding it.

Continuing to play those destructive stories over and over in your head only reinforces emotional triggers. It is an extremely empowering moment once you become self-aware and catch your trigger, because you realize that you are now able to break the vicious cycle you’ve constructed in your mind.

Remember that what you feel when you get swept away by that train has nothing to do with the present moment. Rather, it has everything to do with whatever hurt you in the past, perhaps even years and years ago.

Step #2: Forgive yourself for experiencing these destructive feelings.

Forgive yourself for indulging in these low-vibrational feelings; for playing the victim; for experiencing a moment of weakness.

Judging yourself for having those feelings will only fuel the vicious cycle you’re already on. Forgiving yourself, on the other hand, helps you to move on in a peaceful, calm, and loving way.

Step #3: Love the part of yourself that feels rejected and unloved.

When you are being triggered, the questions that I would ask are: “What is the earliest memory of me feeling this way? When did I form this belief? What part of me believes this to be true, and why?”

I guarantee that it’s a memory that you probably don’t even pay all that much attention to because it seems insignificant in the bigger scheme of things; but it has actually left a really deep, lasting impression on you, enough to trigger you over and over and over again.

We need to address the root cause. Trying to change circumstances or the people around you is only patching up the wound; but you need to understand what actually caused that wound in order to begin the process of healing.

Step #4: Once you know what you were aching for in that earliest memory, look for evidence where you are, in fact, already receiving exactly that.

If you’ve always felt unsupported your whole life, look at your immediate family and closest friends and realize that you actually already have people that you can trust and have your back.

The things that we look for in life, such as love, freedom, and money, can be found all around us in so many different ways; but we get blinded to all of these opportunities when we limit our definition of what we really desire. Instagram likes, for example, are nothing compared to the real-life support you receive right now from your loved ones.

Step #5: Clearly state what you desire to attract more of it into your life.

Now that you know you’re already receiving what your heart aches for, even if it’s not in the form you expected, you now have the opportunity to attract more of that desire, and in many different forms.

We can only attract more abundance when we are already finding evidence of abundance in our lives. When you ask the Universe for what you want from a place of lack, all you get is more lack; but if you ask from a place of abundance, the Universe showers ever more abundance.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Visit my website: www.visalakshi.com 

Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/lifecoachvisa 

Join my FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomingyou1 

Connect with me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/visashanmugam 

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I welcome Vidya Gopalan, part-time fashion and lifestyle blogger and mom of two kids.

Were you born in India?

Vidya: I was born in India and moved to Minnesota when I was six. I’ve lived in America since then.

How did you deal with the dramatic change in your environment when you moved?

Vidya: I was so young that it was relatively easier to adapt. But there were definitely cultural barriers to overcome. I didn’t know any English when I came here. All of that played into my mindset growing up.

What does it mean for you to live authentically and why is it so important?

Vidya: For me, to live authentically is just showing up everyday, being yourself, and not worrying about the outside noise. It’s about feeling confident and powerful in your own voice. That doesn’t come right away. It takes years of time and experience, and I’m still learning to live authentically. It’s not something that just happens. And now that I’m a wife and mother of two, I want my kids to feel like what I’m saying and doing and how I stand up for myself are the right things.

How do not let the noise of social media get to you, especially since you’re in the world of fashion?

Vidya: You can let it get to you or you can use it to your advantage. You don’t have to be like other people; but you can also take tips from their feeds to improve yourself.

What were the early mistakes you made along the way when you were building your business?

Vidya: No one’s checking on you, so you have to motivate yourself. The one big thing I did was set a schedule for myself. But it’s easier all around because I got used to the process, unlike in those first few days when I was finding my groove. When you get comfortable with what you’re doing, you get better at it.

At the beginning, when you got trolled, how did you feel and how did you overcome it?

Vidya: It still happens here and there; not very often. I would say the majority of people are very kind. Every once in a while, you get some fake account that says something that’s not really nice. It hurt a lot in the beginning. But I know myself and I put out forward-thinking content that resonates with a lot of people. That confidence is why I’m not affected as much anymore.

Have you always been so outspoken?

Vidya: I wasn’t always like this. Having this platform helped me use my voice to talk about important topics and issues. That made it hard for me to stay quiet. When it comes to social, racial, and some political issues, I find it hard to hold back and not say how I feel. With everything that’s going on, it’s just not easy.

What are some struggles you have behind-the-scenes that you might not be ready to share on Instagram yet?

Vidya: Just like everybody, I have good and bad days. My Instagram stories are not a representation of my everyday life. They are two-second snippets of me usually sharing an outfit. On bad days, just as it is with any kind of work, you just have to get up and do what needs to be done. You don’t have to share everything in your life, and that’s okay.

What does self-love mean to you?

Vidya: Self-love is just taking care of yourself, whatever that means. If you have to set things aside to take care of yourself, I think that’s so crucial for everything—for your physical health and your mental health.

What advice would you give to someone who is struggling with their own self-love?

Vidya: Take the time to focus on yourself and ignore the outside noise. It’s hard to do; but whether that’s through journaling or talking to somebody, find a way to help yourself understand what it is that you’re struggling with and how you can heal from that.

Learn more about Vidya Gopalan:

Her website: https://queencitytrends.com 

Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/queencitytrends 

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I’m going to be busting some of the most common meditation myths. As someone who has been meditating on a regular basis for the past six years, I can say with absolute confidence that meditation has changed my life. If you are somebody who wishes they can be more consistent about meditation, this episode is for you!

Like everyone who first gets into meditation, I struggled at the very beginning. One of the big factors that halted my progress was a whole host of misconceptions around how to actually meditate. Let’s dive right in!

Myth #1: “I’m not good at meditating.”

Many people think that, as soon as you sit on a meditation cushion, something magical is supposed to happen; and if nothing does, then they’re probably not cut out for it.

However, the beautiful thing about meditation is that it’s designed to help you stop judging. The goal of meditation is to sit and observe. Become aware of what you’re thinking about at every given moment, and refuse to let yourself get attached to the emotions associated with those thoughts.

Myth #2: “I’m supposed to feel calm and stress-free after meditating.”

I know that this is the intention of meditation—to help us feel calm. But I want you to think of meditation as an activity that clears the noise and negativity from your mind, just as you may imagine clearing up a pond filled with muck. You’re clearing your mind from judgement, anger, and resentment toward other people, and it starts by bringing those emotions to the surface.

With this in mind, you may come out of quite a few sessions agitated instead of calm. Why? Because the meditation brought something from your subconscious onto the conscious level. That’s not a bad thing. It just means that you’ve unearthed a bit (or a lot) of mess that you now have the opportunity to clean up.

Whatever happens, remember to observe, observe, observe without judgement. This will help you put some distance between your thoughts and the emotions that you tend to assign to those thoughts.

Myth #3: “There is only one way to meditate.”

There are more ways to meditate than the usual lotus position. I’ve tried probably every kind of meditation there is, from walking meditations to guided meditations to Shambho meditations to Reiki meditations.

If you are a novice or just starting out, I recommend doing a guided meditation where someone’s voice is giving you things to do during the session, such as counting your breaths.

This is because our thoughts typically run so fast that a beginner may find it extremely difficult to find that stillness in mind and body that meditation requires.

Myth #4: “Meditation is only for people who have time.”

There’s a great saying: “If you have time, meditate for 30 minutes a day. If you don’t have time, meditate for one hour a day.”

That should give you an idea for how important meditation is, especially for those who are time-constrained.

Telling yourself that you don’t have time to meditate is like telling yourself that you don’t have time to brush your teeth. No matter how busy we might be, we always find those two minutes to brush our teeth every morning and evening.

Myth #5: “I’m supposed to be blank when I meditate.”

Most of us think that we’ve failed a meditation if our mind was so busy throughout the session. If this has happened to you, I say great job! There are few things like meditation that can make you realize just how many thoughts are bubbling deep inside your mind.

It’s not that your mind suddenly becomes busy when you meditate. It simply makes you become aware of how busy you already are. It’s like flipping a light switch.

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Visit my website: www.visalakshi.com 

Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/lifecoachvisa 

Join my FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomingyou1 

Connect with me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/visashanmugam 

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I welcome Nakeia Drummond, founder and CEO of NLD Strategic, a management consulting firm focused on equity, social impact, education, and economic inclusion, particularly for black and brown children, women, and families, as well as those experiencing poverty.

Did you always know that you wanted to do this work?

Nakeia: It’s not a straight line; I’ll tell you that much! I always knew that I wanted to do something that felt impactful. My parents also had careers that were in service of other people, and so I thought that that was what work life was supposed to be like. When I became a consultant, I felt really unfulfilled despite all the perks. I prayed about it. One day I felt that I needed to be a teacher, and that set me on the road to doing work for public education and fighting all the inequities in the system. That’s what matters most to me.

Did you ever feel shame and guilt around leading a sporadic career path?

Nakeia: I never felt shame and guilt, especially since I went through it all when I was young and had a lot of space to land if something didn’t work out. That’s what my mom always said to me. It’s okay to quit something that doesn’t fulfill your soul. It’s actually a lot scarier to think about pivoting now because of how much of a foundation I’ve already laid since.

What does self-love mean to you?

Nakeia: Accomplishing things, doing better than the last generation, and being able to provide for others. Doing everything to achieve for yourself and for others is the truest sign of valuing yourself. It’s not just surviving, but thriving.

How has your perspective of loving yourself changed over the last several months of us working together?

Nakeia: I think it’s more on how I perceive God loves me, with grace and with mercy, just as I am. It’s all about coming as you are and not having to fix anything or change this or that about myself to be loved. It’s about loving myself with more kindness and zero judgement..

Success does not have to be tied to hard work. Where is your mindset currently at with regard to that idea?

Nakeia: To hear that as a reminder is always great because it’s easy to slip back into the old mindset. Now, I don’t put all the burden on myself. From a team of me, I now have four consultants working with me. I had to open my mind to hiring and delegating responsibilities, and now my business continues to grow without me having to be everywhere doing everything all at once.

Why did you find it so hard to believe that you are as amazing as everyone around you said you are?

Nakeia: For the most part, it was that limiting belief that everything requires hard work. You often miss the biggest opportunities because it seemed too easy to really matter. You undervalue it because, since it seemed so easy, you assume that everybody must be able to do it that easily. None of us work for gifts. Gifts are given to us. It’s not our paycheck. It doesn’t matter whether or not you earned it or had to struggle for it. It’s handed over to us freely. We need to appreciate and respect it.

What tips do you have for listeners who are too hard on themselves and don’t feel like they are doing enough or achieving enough?

Nakeia: One is: collect your receipts. So, all the ways you’ve overcome or surprised yourself when things worked out the way they had when you didn’t expect it—document all the ways that your life has shown up for you. And remember how you felt in those moments because we tend to forget our feelings in those moments. Another one is: just be still. It gives you perspective.

Learn more about Nakeia Drummond:

Her community for growing Black women-owned businesses: https://www.thewellnetwork.us 

Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nakeiabydesign 

Resources mentioned:

Morning Pages from The Artist’s Way: https://juliacameronlive.com/basic-tools/morning-pages/

In this episode of the Becoming You podcast, I’m going to be talking all about manifesting magic in your life. This is one of my absolute favorite topics to talk about. I do a deep dive into, first of all, what manifesting is and why we all need to tap into this power. I also share some very personal stories where I’ve manifested some super crazy things into my own life. Stories like mine and others are really important because we might have heard or read about this concept but have a really hard time believing that it can happen to us. By listening to real-life examples of other human beings putting this power to use, we come to really believe that it can work for us, too!

What does manifesting actually mean? Simply, manifesting means making real a desire or a dream. That’s all manifesting is—when you have a thought or a desire that becomes reality at some point in your life.

If you think about it, that means you’re manifesting all the time, whether consciously or unconsciously. Where you are in life right now is a direct result of the power of manifesting. It’s a law that works for every single person, no matter who they are.

This includes even the problem areas of our lives. And it’s only because we, as human beings, habitually tend to focus on what we don’t want. The thoughts and the feelings attached to those thoughts help us manifest.

Even a negative statement such as, “I hope I don’t run into heavy traffic,” still manifests heavy traffic simply because heavy traffic is what you focused on and placed your emotion in! The Universe doesn’t know language; only thoughts and feelings.

To fix this simple example, phrase yourself this way: “I’ll be on time to my appointment. The roads are perfectly clear.” And really believe it. Put those thoughts out and those exact affirmations will manifest itself!

Manifesting is very real, and you’re always engaged in it, whether consciously or unconsciously. I want you to know, right now, that the choice is yours to make. I don’t know about you, but I want to always be intentionally creating the life of my dreams!

Manifesting is easy, and it adds a magical quality to life. It makes each day more fun. And it unburdens us from doing all the work. You don’t need to know the how. Truly, when we open ourselves to consciously and intentionally manifesting our hopes and desires, the Universe helps us create a life that is wilder than our wildest dreams!

How has the power of manifesting worked for you? Whether it’s something as small as manifesting the best parking space (something I can relate to!) or manifesting your spouse, I’d love to hear your stories!

Learn more about me and my coaching services:

Free resource: 10 Ways to Spark Your Self Love Journey

Visit my website: www.visalakshi.com 

Follow me on Instagram: www.instagram.com/lifecoachvisa 

Join my FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/becomingyou1 

Connect with me on LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/visashanmugam