Been There, Felt That

In this episode of Been There, Felt That, host Aaron Albert and guest Dr. Alexandra Solomon discuss how to navigate external relationship conflicts. She provides insights into the importance of forgiveness and grace in healing fear and anger in relationships caused by external stressors. She also emphasizes the need to be curious and listen to how your partner experiences stressors differently while being humble and open to other perspectives to create opportunities for complementarity and growth within the relationship. Other topics discussed include integrating emotions, holding space for partners, and coping with raising a child with special needs or dealing with a partner's job loss.

Show Notes:

[00:01:10] Excited and nervous for teaching and transition.

[00:05:55] Gifted son's atypicality the greatest teacher.

[00:10:22] Career pivoted to autism advocacy and counseling.

[00:13:45] External stressors create inter-subjectivity, complementarity opportunities.

[00:18:29] Losing job affects both partners, self-worth stories.

[00:19:28] Partner job loss affects relationship dynamics.

[00:23:56] "Lead with being, not just doing."

[00:26:51] Partner coping with job loss, listen closely.

[00:30:40] Self-compassion is key in tough situations.

[00:34:15] Integration of emotions is challenging in silence.

[00:38:07] Gendered shame regarding child's diagnosis explored.

[00:42:41] Flip partner's coping into system's asset.

[00:46:17] Takeaways: Coping styles differ, mutual respect needed.

[00:48:48] Possible summary: Course based on Loving Bravely book announced.

On this episode we sit down with Jen Pastiloff - author, motivational speaker, and writing retreat leader - as she shares her personal journey of overcoming trauma, embracing change, and finding self-acceptance. With raw honesty and heartwarming humor, Jen discusses how her childhood trauma led to a fear of change and how her deafness has actually been one of the greatest gifts in her life. She also delves into why it's essential to connect with and listen to others to show compassion and how she teaches people to let go, let love, and begin again. With practical exercises and poetry, Jen's new book "May You Remember" is a must-read for anyone looking to come back to themselves and stop abandoning themselves. Tune in to hear Jen's inspiring message, as she reminds us all that we are worthy of good things and that authenticity and vulnerability are the keys to truly thriving in life.

Show Notes

0:00 - Introduction to Jen

3:30 - Jen's new book

7:15 - Jen's childhood trauma and avoidance of change

10:45 - Embracing authenticity and using "I get to have this"

14:30 - Setting boundaries and thriving after divorce

18:10 - Shame Loss podcast and podcasting as an outlet

20:50 - Struggles with alcohol and unhealthy coping mechanisms

24:15 - Daily practices for positive mental health

27:30 - Jen's unconventional path to becoming a yoga teacher and writer

31:20 - Anonymous letter and violation of privacy

34:45 - Body prayer exercise for self-reflection

37:45 - Personal prayer and daily reminders for self-care

Description:

On this episode of the podcast, we're joined by a brilliant relationship coach, Jillian Turecki, who is here to help us navigate the complexities of the modern dating world and share some life-changing insights into the secrets of successful relationships. From finding the right partner to breaking negative patterns, Jillian has expert advice that will help you build a foundation for lasting love. But that's not all - Jillian also dives into some sticky and painful topics like the difficulties of post-breakup healing and the challenges of self-discovery. Whether you're struggling with your current relationship or looking to find the love of your life, this episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in exploring the dynamic world of modern relationships. So don't miss it!

Show Notes:

1:15 - Anxiety on a date

5:00 - Navigating healthy relationships

8:30 - Breaking patterns

12:10 - Replacing "failure" with "lesson"

15:20 - Victim mentality

19:00 - Personal accountability

22:05 - Inspiration for working with couples

26:20 - Processing breakups

30:15 - Recognizing red flags

33:00 - Communicating in relationships

38:20 - Stigma with divorce

42:10 - Shifting mindset towards positive relationships

On this episode of Been There, Felt That we dive deep into the powerful concepts of self-love and self-worth. Our guest Branden Collinsworth, an accomplished human performance coach and trainer, takes us on a journey through his own struggles with self-worth and how he overcame them to unlock his highest expression of self. Along the way, we'll learn useful tools to cultivate self-love, including how to visualize and protect our inner child, as well as how to build consistency and momentum toward personal growth and progress. We also explore the transformative power of cutting out toxic habits and exposing ourselves to stress and hormesis, all in service of achieving greater self-worth and a more fulfilling life. Whether you're on your own journey of self-discovery or just seeking inspiration to level up your life, this episode is not to be missed. Tune in to discover the key ingredients for unlocking an unshakable sense of self worth and love.

Timestamps:

1. 2:35 - Branden's major life events: separation, going broke, and mother passing away

2. 6:15 - Tools that helped Branden navigate tough times

3. 9:45 - Importance of embracing struggles and avoiding social media comparison

4. 12:15 - The power of visualizing and cultivating grace towards oneself

5. 15:30 - Branden's traumas and journey towards greater self-love and worth

6. 21:10 - Journey to achieve highest expression of self

7. 24:35 - Key pillars in personal development: grace and action

8. 27:20 - Consistency and mentors/teachers in personal growth

9. 31:10 - Value of cutting out toxic habits during self-discovery

10. 34:00 - The practice of hormesis for physical and mental strength

11. 38:15 - The importance of making small decisions quickly to build confidence

12. 41:10 - Closing thoughts and takeaways from the episode

On this episode of Been There, Felt That, we delve deep into the world of psychedelics and mental health. We sit down with renowned public advocate for the transformative powers of psychoactive substances and therapist Lauren Taus and get her take on how they can help heal trauma, grief, and depression. But we don't just stop there – we also examine the limitations of traditional talk therapy and explore the emerging field of embodied therapy. Lauren shares personal stories of how yoga, psychedelics, and working with teachers have played a role in her own healing journey. We grapple with tough questions, such as whether psychedelics can truly offer a deeper level of healing than other modalities, and whether they are right for everyone. Join us for a candid conversation about mental health, spiritual growth, and the transformative power of psychedelics.

01:20 - Laurens morning rituals

06:40 - Questioning limitations of traditional talk therapy

10:50 - Balancing thinking and feeling; changing company name

16:30 - Society's intellect over emotion

20:00 - Lauren's journey with yoga and eating disorder recovery

25:10 - Embodied therapy and integration of mind, body, and spirit

30:40 - Importance of psychoactive substances for healing

35:20 - Healing involves processing past experiences and forgiving/raging

40:10 - Overcoming intergenerational trauma

45:30 - Success of a psychedelic journey determined by multiple factors

50:00 - Personal growth requires feeling emotions

54:00 - Lauren's practice and toolkit for psychedelics and transformation

On this episode, we talk to licensed marriage and family therapist Vienna Pharaon (@mindfulmft). We explore how our family and origin stories can wound us and impact our relationships throughout our lives. We delve into the deep-rooted wounds that can cause us to repeatedly self-sabotage and engage in unhealthy patterns with those we love. From uncovering the origin of these wounds to taking the crucial steps towards healing, Vienna shares her personal stories and expert insights that will help you identify your own wounds and work towards creating healthy relationships in the future. Tune in as we explore the power and impact of our family and origin stories, and learn how to break free from negative patterns and create a happier, healthier life.

Discover:

Vienna's personal experience with parents' separation and divorce that lasted nine years.

- Behavior patterns, including internalization and lack of validation, carried into adulthood.

- Benefits of therapy and self-reflection for personal growth and avoiding patterns that create dysfunction in relationships.

- Therapy as a mix of the art form and science, with the therapist-client relationship being crucial.

- Importance of self-love, compassion, ownership, responsibility, and accountability in relationships and patterns.

- Key takeaways on understanding and addressing origin wounds and how they impact patterns in our lives.

- Steps for healing, including connecting, identifying wounds, witnessing pain, and expressing grief.

- Importance of authentic emotional expression and understanding of our own and others' origin stories.

Time Stamps:

- 04:30: Vienna's experience with high-conflict divorce

- 06:45: Impact of being an only child

- 08:50: Internalizing and appearing unbothered

- 11:14: The motivation for going to therapy

- 12:55: Healing is a forever practice

- 16:18: Pursuing unavailable people

- 21:58: What to expect in therapy

- 24:26: Looking at similarities in relationship patterns

- 28:20: Childhood imperfections & flaws

- 42:35: Healing without confronting the other person

- 47:30: Understanding reactivity and patterns

- 51:50: Steps for healing and understanding origin wounds

- Reflections on heartbreak and moving through relational challenges

- Patterns of behavior inherited from family as part of becoming an adult

- Importance of self-awareness and healing in relationships to prevent causing harm

- Overprotective parenting can prevent children from developing grit and resilience

- Importance of relational education

- New breakup course launched by Felt

- Strategies for navigating communication and emotional processing differences in relationships

- Lack of initial agreements and creating a relationship vision can lead to relationship failure

- Breakups can be powerful and transformative

- Marks personal experience with a breakup and reunion with their partner

- Getting back together with your ex

- 2:15-6:00: Reflections on heartbreak and healing.

- 6:00-11:30: Inherited patterns and becoming an adult.

- 11:30-21:15: Importance of relational education.

- 21:15-25:30: Investing in work vs. relationships.

- 25:30-32:00: Understanding conflict in relationships.

- 32:00-37:00: Communication and emotional processing.

- 37:00-40:30: Breakup course overview.

- 40:30-44:45: Community and support in breakups.

- 44:45-49:45: Transformative power of breakups.

- 49:45-55:00: Ending a relationship with intention.

- 55:00-58:00: Getting intentional about the future.