I learned to let go of some things. I learned to give someone else a chance to what made me happy once. I felt God put it in my heart because there are some things/ gifts that continue to give. The gift that keeps on giving. I do believe that in letting things go, you can bless someone else. Knowledge, introductions, and exposure are things that I feel continue to bless people. That is why I could never bring myself to throw a book away. I’m thankful for the wisdom it brought me or perspective and I like to see it continue to do what it was meant to do. In the process of clearing out things and making room for the new things that I felt God was preparing me for, I learned what a privilege it is to be of service and be able to bless someone else (My blessing box).

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/01/09/give-it-away/

I still believe that you were just a taste of what God wants to bring me. I envision a Godly man with a heart like yours but that is made to love me.

It couldn’t have been you because we were completely on different pages and God doesn’t work like that. You would be happy to know he’s been working on me. He is not a man that shall lie. He never has and he never will. You were the lesson but not my life.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/01/08/yesterday-was-the-last-day-i-settled/

With no boundaries given, you have less control of your life than you maybe realize. No one knows when to stop asking or requesting because they don’t know how much you can and are willing to take on? So they test it and as long as you keep doing it, they will too.

You may not even know your limits until you feel you are drowning. Frustrated and over-whelmed 24/7 is what my life was for that season of my life.

Finding what your boundaries are is knowing what you are willing to do for others without feeling uncomfortable or resentful for having to do it. Knowing where to place your boundaries begins with what you can do for others in authenticity.Meaning you should do the things people ask of you or want from you while feeling like you are showing up as your authentic loving self. Do it with love or not at all. Doing things for the people we have in our life is a great way to show up as someone who is there to serve others and not just for themselves. But just remember that you can’t manage what you can’t measure. You won’t know if you are serving too much or too little and you will only know when you come out empty.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/01/05/balance-isnt-something-you-find-its-something-you-create-4/

At some point, I felt like one more little thing added would be the end of me. I couldn’t control my dog, let alone my own LIFE. It’s like the more I tried to find balance in my life, the more out of balance it got. It wasn’t until I stopped trying to balance it all that I finally got control of my life again. I once heard my pastor say that God gave the ocean and mountains their boundaries. Boundaries because without them, they wouldn’t know where to stop.

In one split second, I decided that I was going to give some things in my life some much long overdue boundaries. I didn’t want to do damage control because it meant possible confrontation with people I loved. I’ve come to realize that I’m a control freak who never seems to have control, well any REAL control. Wanting to be in control of my own life, but what I had was a lot of people in my life that were controlling me.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/01/05/balance-isnt-something-you-find-its-something-you-create-3/

It started with “I’m going to stay here” or “No it’s ok I don’t want you to be part of this stressful environment” to “I’m sorry, I forgot to tell you” The apologies kept piling up. Not long after that, I got close to the final “I’m sorry” This time it was “I’m sorry, I forgot it was your birthday” The understanding me was gone. I allowed the space I so freely gave to be so big that after those years spent together, someone would so easily forget to celebrate my birthday?

He wasn’t needing or wanting my help. I couldn’t label it back then but what I was feeling was rejection – Over and over again. Every conversation was a reminder of how not needed I was. Every excuse was a reminder of shifted priorities. After my birthday incident, I made everything a big deal, even if it wasn’t. Call it misplaced anger. I let nothing go without putting up a fight. I showed anger, but I was feeling hurt. I learned that a man’s ability to pursue you or not has little to nothing to do with you.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/01/02/if-you-want-to-know-the-end-start-at-the-beginning-3/

I’ll never forget the day I was in Target looking at high -lighters and realizing that I had to change the plan I had envisioned.

It was like a domino effect. His world changed. He changed. I changed. Your hands can only catch so much before getting too full – Things have a way of snowballing in your life. The little space between us ended up being two worlds apart.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/01/02/if-you-want-to-know-the-end-start-at-the-beginning-2/

If we go back to the beginning, it started like this… I was young, always have been full of spirit, naive you could say and what I thought was in-love. You are a giant in your own world, so to me life was this, I was in college, had my family and friends, and a boyfriend that I was sure I was going to marry. Was great to me, until he wasn’t. He hit a rough patch with family and shortly after we did too. I thought that when he hit this rough patch, I would support him. Instead of running to me, he chose to run away from me instead of to me. That was the start of the storm. Like most people I denied the fact that my insides were screaming that something was really off. I can’t say I understood what exactly happened until it was all said and done with.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/01/02/if-you-want-to-know-the-end-start-at-the-beginning-1/

When I think back to those moments, I have to say that even I wonder what the hell was I thinking. But the fact that I know what I was feeling tells me more than anything I could try and reason with. I know I’m not the first person to feel things deeply. I also know that the majority of people who get hurt the way I did don’t necessarily make their exit strategy a dramatic one.

In fact, I would say I know plenty of people who have left a painful break-up with out so much commotion and dealt with the pain a lot less external. Why did I feel the need to make a show of it? I honestly to this day don’t know…except… I do…. rejection.

The pain associated with rejection is our emotional world and physical world meeting each other. Managing your emotions well is considered being emotionally intelligent. Accessing a situation and acting accordingly. Well, not I. Never have I been that good at handling my emotions. Something about this tipping point I allow myself to get to and there it goes, a ticking time bomb all along.

I’ve always been emotionally driven and even though I could at times stop myself before it’s too late, it’s not always the case. It’s not even the most likely to happen. What was more likely to happen was that I would end things ungracefully and dramatically.

I don’t know a grey area, never have. It’s black or it’s white – Two major extremes! I surprised myself at how far I could take things. My white space was backing off and allowing too much distance and my black was allowing my emotions to be so involved that it would make everyone question my sanity.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2020/12/30/i-didnt-have-it-in-myself-to-go-with-grace/

Letters to God about the sticky situations that I have gotten myself in. Relating with you through it all. Love, relationships, betrayals, heartbreak, fall outs and finding the light at the end of the tunnel.

To ask God to help you say and do the right things because you can’t keep playing the same game. Always trying to protect your feelings and ending up hurting yourself or others in the process.

Because I get wanting to show and give the love that you know you’re capable of giving but when you’re running on empty the idea of it is a bit of a reach.

Because I don’t always know what the right thing to do is so I pray about the decisions that are needed to make. I don’t pray to inform God! I pray to involve God.

The crazy part of feeling worthy of Gods love is that even though we feel we need to be better or behave better to be in his presence, the opposite is true. The worst we are, the more we should come to him… eventually our love for him will keep us from steering too far off.

Not knowing what to do but knowing who to go to can be the reason that you don’t stay down when you fall down.

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2020/12/29/dear-god/

If you find yourself in a situation where you are constantly stressing over problems that are not directly tied to you, it’s time for an adjustment. If you are taking on the burdens of others, you need to come up with an escape plan. Start taking yourself out of their problems and out of their life. Once you take yourself out, you will begin to see the things you couldn’t see before.

It’s hard to see clear when you are in the middle of an emotional storm. Certain people have a certain way of getting us caught up in one.

How is it that someone can claim that you mean so much to them yet can do so much to make you feel just the opposite? I read this quote one time that really stuck with me.

“If the person you love makes you question over and over if you are enough, only thing is certain — they aren’t” (Beau,Taplin).

It takes a little stepping back to start to see things clearly. Stepping back creates space and space allows you to see you things more logically and not emotionally. Trying to see things when you’re full of emotions will always leave you confused. One thing about emotions is that they never make sense. So it doesn’t make sense to try and make sense of something in that state, you’re really just setting yourself up for failure. But sometimes we just have to see that when we can’t make sense of something – we need to drop it right there and then.

Instead, what does make sense in this moment and time? The one thing that will always make sense when nothing else does is eliminating all that doesn’t. It’s like spring cleaning your emotions. What is it that YOU need to do right now to clean up the mess? What do you need to get rid of, so you can start seeing the things you want to keep, the things you like the things that bring you joy, the things you can’t enjoy anymore because too many emotions are clouding your vision, causing you stress and emotionally draining you?

INPUT

This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2020/12/28/not-worth-the-effort/