Some people adapt their behavior based on what other people do. Like using emojis only with people who use them with you, or only cursing around potty mouths. Do you act differently at work than you do with your friends? How many of your daily actions are based on what other people do, or how they expect you to act? Maybe you create a file on each person in your life, pulling it out whenever you interact with them (i.e. she shakes hands, he hugs, etc.). Even micro-actions that follow someone else’s lead suggest you don’t feel safe being 100% you in every situation.

Pay attention to where you look to others for safety. Do you feel the need to be gregarious and funny with some people, but reserved with others? Conforming to what you think others expect of you is not only exhausting, it can cause friction and resentment—even if you are doing it by choice. Being a chameleon is a form of self-abandonment and it comes from a fear of rejection. Emotional freedom doesn’t come from being the smarty pants at work and the daredevil with your friends. It comes from being the REAL you everywhere you go. This isn’t about breaking societal norms; it’s about living out loud instead of confining yourself to a life of quiet desperation. Being you doesn’t take extra effort, so if you’re feeling drained and depleted, look at where you are hiding or playing “follow the leader.” You may be doing it without even realizing.