The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with Mismatched Sex Drives

Better Sleep, Better Sex


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Sleeping poorly really impacts your sex life. In today's episode we're going to look at this head-on. This is a super practical episode meant to offer concrete help. 

I'll share effective ways to sleep better, and what is reasonable to expect from yourself and your partner when there are sleep challenges going on. If you or your partner struggle with sleep issues, don't miss this one. 

Here are the 12 things to do to sleep better: 

  1. Only use the bed for sleep and sex, and reading non-stressful materials. No tv, eating, phone. 
  2. Time your caffeine, alcohol and chocolate ruthlessly. No caffeine 8 hours before bed. No alcohol or chocolate 4 hours before bed, and then only 1 serving. 
  3. Exercise earlier in the day and be done by 3 hours before bed. You do need some exercise to sleep well, so don’t skip it, but it doesn’t have to be intense. 
  4. Dark, quiet, cool bedroom with no tv. Use either light blocking curtains or an eye mask and ear plugs if you need them. 
  5. Use blue-blocking glasses for any screen time in the evening. 
  6. Regardless of your glasses, you need to turn screens off an hour and a half before bed. Seriously. Unplug. 
  7. Darken your house when it gets dark outside – switch to lamps and led candles, dimmers down – or use amber lenses with blue blocking filters. 
  8. Consider very low dose melatonin – like 1 to 3 mg, 1.5 hours before bed.
  9. Keep a receiving and wins journal. Write 3 things you received today, and 3 wins each day. This helps your mind go to sleep with abundance rather than anxiety. 
  10. Create a bedtime ritual of things that feel good to you. 
  11. Get up and go to bed at roughly the same time every day. 
  12. If you do wake up or can’t sleep, don’t just let your brain spin out in anxiety. Give it something lovely to do: fantasize, go to a beautiful place in your mind, or get out of bed and journal if you need to. 

Get my free guide: 5 Steps to Start Solving Desire Differences
(Without Blame or Shame),
A Practical Starting Point for Individuals and Couples, at https://laurajurgens.com/libido

Find out more about me at https://laurajurgens.com/

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The Desire Gap: Real Solutions for Couples with Mismatched Sex DrivesBy Laura Jurgens, Ph.D.

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