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Spiritual awakening isn't about becoming more spiritual — it's about finding out who you are underneath everyone you had to be to survive. In this solo episode, Matilda unpacks why "awakening" so often feels like grief rather than light: the sunk-cost grip of identities we've spent years building, the pain of deconstructing roles that once kept us safe, and why none of this requires religion, belief, or a spiritual label to be real. Whether you're mid-unravelling right now or just starting to notice the cracks, this episode ends with a guided meditation — You Are Safe While You're Becoming — to remind your body you're not falling apart. You're just becoming.

As always Matilda offers new predictions for the coming months towards the end of the episode

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 Due to being out of town due to a funeral Matilda is uploading an old episode with new predictions and a meditation.

This week on Beyond This…, we’re revisiting one of my favourite conversations from 2025 — my original interview with internationally renowned psychic medium John Edward.

With John returning to Australia for his October–December 2026 tour, it felt like the perfect time to bring this conversation back.

John and I talk openly about mediumship, the spirit world, what happens when we connect, and the realities of doing this work professionally. As two working mediums, it’s an honest, fascinating and at times very funny conversation about a world we both know incredibly well.

But this week's episode isn't simply a replay.

I've recorded a brand-new introduction with some new predictions — sharing a little of what I've been seeing and feeling around current events and what may be coming next.

I've also included a guided meditation focused on self-limiting beliefs.

So many of the limitations we place on ourselves don't come from what we're actually capable of. They come from the stories we've collected about who we are, what we're allowed to have, what we're good at and what is — or isn't — possible for us.

This meditation gives you an opportunity to become quiet, identify some of those beliefs and begin loosening your attachment to the ones that may be keeping you stuck.

So whether you heard my original conversation with John Edward in 2025 or you're discovering it for the first time, there is something new for you in this week's episode.

In this episode:

• New predictions from Matilda
• A guided meditation for identifying and releasing self-limiting beliefs
• My original 2025 conversation with John Edward
• Mediumship, the spirit world and life as a professional medium
• Why developing trust and discernment matters
• And plenty of conversation between two mediums who have a LOT to say

John Edward returns to Australia from October through December 2026.

And I'll be back next week with a brand-new episode of Beyond This…

As always, thank you for listening — and a huge thank you to my Patreon community, who proudly sponsor Beyond This… and make the podcast possible.

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This week, Matilda steps away from the usual format for something rawer and more personal. In the middle of a genuinely hard week — watching someone she loves near the end of their life, and her own dog struggling to recover after a procedure — she opens up about a question she's asked constantly: does this work ever make grief easier to carry, even for the medium?

Matilda unpacks the myth of the "unshakeable" medium, and why proximity to death and spirit doesn't inoculate anyone against fear or exhaustion — it often does the opposite. She talks candidly about anticipatory grief: the mourning that starts long before a death actually happens, why almost nobody prepares you for it, and how animals in a household often carry that same heaviness in their bodies without a word being said.

Midway through, Matilda is joined by fellow medium Allison DuBois for a conversation about the personal cost of this work — how she recovers after emotionally heavy sessions, and what she wishes more people understood about what it takes to hold space for others while carrying your own grief.

A more honest, unfiltered episode about what it looks like to keep showing up when you're running on empty.

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Under the House: Eclipsing Your Self-Limiting Beliefs

Have you ever wondered why some dreams always seem just out of reach — no matter how many times you visualise them or write them down? In this episode, I'm digging into the quiet, often invisible stories that shape everything we believe we're capable of and worthy of.

We'll unpack where self-limiting beliefs actually come from (often inadvertently, from the people who love us most), why fear of failure keeps so many of us stuck in a loop of never trying, and how these old beliefs quietly sabotage our ability to manifest the life we say we want. I'll share the analogy I come back to again and again — self-limiting beliefs as the foundations of a house — and walk through exactly how to notice, question, and rebuild that foundation from the ground up.

This episode also lands right alongside a partial lunar eclipse and full moon in Pisces on August 28th — a combination known for surfacing exactly the kind of buried emotional patterns and old beliefs we're talking about. I'll share what this eclipse window means for you and why it's the perfect moment to release what's no longer serving you.

I'll also get personal, sharing my own experience living with a chronic pain disorder and being blind in one eye, and how I've learned that our limits don't have to be the only thing writing our story.

This episode closes with a guided meditation designed to help you release an old belief and start reinforcing a new, bigger foundation — so come back to it when you can sit quietly and really listen.

If you've ever felt like something invisible was capping what you're allowed to have, to try, or to become — this one's for you.

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Episode Description (long — for podcast platforms)

In this episode, I'm taking apart some of the biggest myths about the spirit world and mediumship — the ones that quietly create fear and keep people stuck in their grief.

We cover:

• The myth of purgatory and being "stuck" after death
• How religious conditioning shapes what we expect from the afterlife
• Why your loved ones are never angry or disappointed with you
• The truth about suicide and the afterlife (handled gently — see content note below)
• Whether mediums research their clients beforehand
• Why a big following or long waitlist doesn't prove someone is (or isn't) legitimate

And then — because you don't need a medium to feel close to someone you've lost — I walk you through a guided meditation you can return to any time, using a simple, repeatable practice to sit with your person again.

The Chair the popular exercise Matilda performs at her live events is the meditation today - to help you connect with your loved ones who have passed

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We've been sold a myth: that healing is something someone else delivers to us, and that romantic love is the cure for whatever's broken inside. In this episode, Matilda breaks down why that belief quietly destroys good relationships — and what it actually looks like when an unhealed person is loved: interrogating love instead of receiving it, testing before trusting, mistaking chaos for chemistry, performing instead of showing up, leaving before you can be left.

Drawing on patterns that show up again and again in readings — and messages from spirit about the regret people carry over guardedness, not over loving too much — this episode reframes healing not as a prerequisite for love, but as a practice you carry inside it. The episode closes with a guided meditation designed to help you sit with what it feels like to actually let love in.

Time Stamps

0:00 | Welcome
1:30 | The myth we've been sold
7:00 | What unhealed love actually looks like
15:00 | The spirit perspective — what comes through in readings
21:00 | The reframe — healing as practice, not prerequisite

22:-- Predictions
25:30 | Guided meditation: Receiving Love
33:00 Close

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The people we least expect to hear from are often the ones with the most to say.

In this episode, Matilda explores why difficult and estranged relationships still come through in readings — the parent who caused harm, the friend you fell out with, the family member you'd rather not think about. Why do they show up? What do they actually want to say? And what does it mean when spirit brings forward someone you didn't ask for and maybe didn't want?

This isn't about forced forgiveness or tidy endings. It's about understanding why these connections don't just disappear — in this life or the next — and what spirit seems to want us to know about the relationships we'd rather leave behind.

As always Matilda includes new predictions and an oversight on predictions that happened last week - some of them almost immediately.

This episode ends with a deep meditation.

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We're taught to see our soul as something incomplete — a project to fix, heal, and perfect. But what if the soul arrives whole, and everything that triggers us here on Earth isn't proof something's wrong, but an invitation to learn? In this episode, Matilda unpacks why "I'm triggered" so often becomes "I'm retreating," and offers a different way through: treating every hard moment as an opportunity instead of a threat. Includes a short guided meditation to help you meet your next trigger differently.

The soul arrives whole — you're not broken and becoming, you're whole and remembering.

• Earth isn't the punishment, it's the classroom — friction is the curriculum, not a glitch.
• "Triggered" implies something happened to you. "Opportunity" implies something is available to you. Same moment, different posture.
• Every trigger is a teacher in disguise, pointing at something worth looking at.
• Retreating doesn't remove the lesson — it postpones it, and it comes back louder.
• Flow isn't the absence of friction. It's movement through it, not around it.
• The key question to ask in a triggered moment: "What is this actually offering me?"

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Why do we trust the signs that confirm what we already believe — and ignore the ones that don't?

In this episode, Matilda takes a hard look at confirmation bias — the mental shortcut that shapes everything from the readings we trust, to the news we consume, to who we vote for, to how we read our own relationships. Drawing on her background in behavioural economics, she unpacks the psychology behind the Barnum effect, cold reading, and why so much of what passes for "evidence" in the psychic and spiritual world is really just the sitter's own mind doing the work.

From there, the conversation moves into how the same bias plays out in politics and media — why facts alone rarely change a belief tied to identity — and into the quieter, more personal ways it shows up in our everyday lives and relationships.

But underneath all of it sits a bigger question: why do we reach for certainty in the first place? Matilda explores the psychology of our discomfort with not-knowing, and why a false certainty can feel safer than an honest question. The episode closes with a guided meditation on sitting with the unresolved — a practice in tolerating uncertainty without rushing to fill it.

A more reflective, personal episode — and an honest one, including a candid look at Matilda's own field.

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The self you built to stay safe was never a lie — but it has an expiry date, and its collapse isn't a breakdown. It's an invitation.

Episode summary 

Most people who come to Matilda for a reading aren't lost — they're still performing a version of themselves built decades ago to survive. In this extended episode, Matilda unpacks where the "survival self" comes from, why it quietly costs us access to our own intuition, and why spiritual "awakening" almost always looks like loss before it looks like light. Expect a reframe of what awakening actually is, a practical discernment tool for collapse, three journal prompts to start locating who you were before the performance began — and, new for this episode, a short guided meditation to help you meet that self directly.

Key takeaways

• The identity you built as a child to earn love and safety was adaptive, not a flaw — but it wasn't built to last forever
• Chronic self-abandonment often disguises itself as reliability and strength
• Burnout is very often self-abandonment wearing the costume of loyalty
• Real awakening tends to look like loss first, not clarity — the ego mistakes deconstruction for catastrophe
• A two-question discernment tool for telling genuine loss apart from the death of a performed identity
• Three journal prompts to begin locating the self underneath the survival strategy
• A guided meditation practice to meet that self directly, not just intellectually understand it

Timestamps 

• 00:00 — Cold open: the client who was tired of performing
• 04:30 — Segment 1: Why we build the survival self
• 16:00 — Segment 2: The cost nobody names
• 27:30 — Segment 3: Reframing "awakening" + the two-question discernment tool
• 40:00 — Segment 4: What's underneath — three journal prompts
• 50:00 — Segment 5: Guided meditation — meeting the self beneath the performance

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