Presented by Julie Busteed

Humility may not be the first trait that comes to your mind as an essential element in healthy relationships. That’s what I will look at today as we continue to seek to grow healthy relationships.

The first thing that comes to mind when I hear the word humility is I need to have a low opinion of myself. But that’s not correct. It’s about being interested in others. Serving others. Yes, modesty is part of humility, but it’s not being down on yourself. It’s putting others first.

Paul exhorts the Philippians and us to do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others (Philippians 2:3-4).

Becky Harling, author of Cultivating Deeper Connections in a Lonely World, writes humble people come in curious to the conversation, and this curiosity is the superpower of connections! They listen and ask questions. They don’t come in like the expert. I love that! We can have this superpower if we are simply interested and curious. And that’s what I think the Apostle Paul is talking about—to look not to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Humility also is shown by just being kind, lending a hand, helping a coworker.

My friend Heather recently showed a beautiful example of humility. She had her day carefully planned with a full to-do list, but when a friend reached out to spend time together, she chose to set her plans aside. It wasn’t what she had intended for the day, and honestly, it wasn’t what she felt like doing at the moment—but she recognized her friend needed someone to listen.

What makes this even more meaningful is this friendship isn’t always easy or comfortable. Yet that very morning, Heather “happened” to read Proverbs 3:27–28.

Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act. Do not say to your neighbor, ‘Come back tomorrow and I’ll give it to you’—when you already have it with you (Proverbs 3:27–28).

Those verses were a timely reminder that God sometimes calls us to act in the moment—to give of ourselves, our time, or our attention—when it’s within our power to do so. Heather reflected the heart of Christ that day by choosing relationship over routine, allowing herself to be “interrupted” in order to show love and kindness right when it was needed most.

I pray you and I will be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love (Ephesians 4:2).