Big Cigarette

Hi. We're Big Cigarette: singer, activist, and Demi Lovato experiencer. Sorry we're late, but it's your fault. This week, we start the episode on a high note with some of Leah's favorite headlines. But don't get too comfy, because April went full method by getting drunk for a deep dive on our favorite fruit fly, Demetria Devonne. The tweets, the overdose, the...aliens? It's a miracle we survived. You can have a lil brain damage, just as a treat. xoxo

Hello friend - Big Cigarette™ is working overtime in the emotional labor department and is currently at capacity. Is there someone else you can talk to? Text Joe30330 to receive affirmations. This week, we're afraid of the internet. We chat about some *buzz words* - the evolution of #tradwife - parasocial relationships - if (April) leaves a suicide note, it will be a hyperlink to the new Fox singing competition, Alter Ego. We're simply unlike other women. xo

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Look, we had to do it. As professional cultural commentators and white women in athleisure...we had to cover the MTV Video Music Awards. Does Justin Bieber have lupus or Lyme's disease? Is Doja Cat a computer generated PSYOP funded by Pepsi? HOW MANY MARRIAGES WILL OLIVIA MUNN DESTROY? We're literally asking, we do not know. And just in case we didn't say "trash," "garbage," and "shit" enough in the first half, we review the Met Gala 2021: An American Horror Story. The event so underwhelming and distasteful that it killed Norm Macdonald. nigh niiiiigh sleep tight.

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Big Cigarette™ has a fear of needles, but we're not afraid to talk about some pricks. First up, we cover John Mulaney's terrible horrible no good very bad year, and the *highly suspicious* timeline he constructed to announce he came inside Japanese potato evangelist, Olivia Munn. Then we shift gears to a more consequential scammer - Elizabeth Holmes. As her federal trial commences, we review her uncanny origin, the insane fraudulence of Theranos, and her Hail Mary #MeToo defense strategy. Who will protect Sunny Balwani? xoxo

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Hiiiii *giggle* uwu. We're just two shy, sexy babies trying to figure out who the hell Bella Poarch is and how the fuck she got 500+ million views on Tiktok for a 10 second face dance. Do we figure it out? No. But we do know enough about Zoe Kravitz and Channing Tatum to understand their budding relationship is an unholy union and we are here for support. And while we're on the topic of unholy unions...a Bachelor in Paradise recap occurs. It was a slow news week. Kisses!

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Aloha, tramps! We've donned our finest Tommy Bahama shirts and evil eye amulets to discuss the latest video, "Envy," from Youtube darling and philosophy MILF, Natalie Wynn. Then we take a bunch of ketamine, check into the Pineapple Suite, and recap HBO's The White Lotus. Fuck this place! xoxo

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All interstitial music credit to Cristobal Tapia de Veer.

Somehow we did this again. This week, we had a long chat on HBO's Woodstock '99: the looks, the boobs, the original f(y)re fest. Nu-metal did nothing wrong. You know who did something wrong? GREG GRIPPO. Sorry cuties, we're talking about The Bachelorette.

On this ~*inaugural episode*~ we share our love for Joseph Baena; our displeasure with (human void and friend of Megan McCain) Katherine Schwarzenegger; and some chaotic thoughts on Netflix's Sexy Beasts. Then we wrap it up with our weekly segment, The Last Drag, where we riff on what's giving us mental illness that week. xoxo