When is the last time you screwed up and fell short? No one likes to admit it, but we’ve all been there, and we’re not talking majorly past tense. I failed, and y’all it was super recent.
God gave me a tremendous gift in this regrettable failure of mine, he allowed me to watch the unfolding affects as if from a distance. Almost like an out of body experience, I watched myself in response to my own recognized shortcomings. Now, I understand the tactics of the enemy to defeat us even better. I see it. I felt it. And God showed me exactly how to overcome it.
So, if you’re carrying around a failure you’ve been trying to hide, but it’s been eating you up inside, this one is for you, Sis!
The details of my failure are not necessarily important, but it’s much the same as yours. You do the thing you don’t want to do, and minutes later you wish you could go back and undo it, but you can’t. You’re left to face the fact that once again, you didn’t do what you know you were supposed to do and you regret it. And now, you’re so sorry.
We’ve all felt it. In fact, Paul certainly felt it and wrote about it in Romans 7:15, “I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.”
That’s regret. Regret over what we did, what we said, how we behaved, how we reacted. I don’t understand why I do these things, and I bet you don’t understand why you do either. Dang, I hate it, don’t you?
So, here I was hating myself for my failure, and I saw the domino affect within me. I shrunk back in shame. I replayed the event over and over in my head, each time with greater guilt. And right there, I began dismissing my calling to be more because I felt less.
Sound familiar? Anyone else caught in this same trap? You’ve been called to be so much more, but you’re dismissing that call because you too feel less. I get it. But God says something different.
Step 1 is to confess and ask for forgiveness. I hit my knees. I told God exactly what I had done, although he already knew. I genuinely asked for forgiveness.
Then, let me tell you exactly what happened. I’m going to be completely honest with you. I laid down in bed and replayed the same event on a perpetual loop, sinking lower each time.
Is this what forgiveness looks like? Really, is what Jesus did for us not enough to cover our sin? What would be enough? Do we want Jesus to crawl back up on that cross and hang there again?
My Sister, what Jesus did for us IS ENOUGH. WE ARE COVERED. The moment we ask for forgiveness, it is given freely and fully. There’s nothing you have ever done, or ever could do, that is not covered by the sacrifice of Jesus. All of us have fallen short of the glory of God, and all of us are offered complete forgiveness. Not a single one of us is disqualified.
So, what’s the problem here? Why are forgiven girls walking around burdened by guilt and covered in shame? Why can’t we stop the story from playing out in our head over and over again? Why can’t we just stop beating ourselves up and fully accept what Jesus has offered us? If we have confessed our sin and asked for forgiveness, why are we still struggling with it?
This is where I was. I could see it playing out. Fully forgiven, yet not free. Falling victim to the ploys of the enemy who loves to play in our sin. His tactics are always the same, screw up and beat up. You screw up, then he beats you up. Over and over again, he reminds you of your failure.