Have you ever been truly hungry? I don’t mean “lunch was an hour late” hungry, I mean like day 8 of a 10 day juice cleanse hungry. Hungry like your belly button is gnawing on your back bone. When you’re truly hungy, you have an elevated sense of smell. This elevated sense of smell through hunger enables you to smell what’s cooking at the neighbor’s house 3 doors down. If you’re not hungry, you never even smell it. True hunger will rule your thoughts and drive your actions.

Hey sister, if you’re really hungry for the life God created you for, you won’t be able to sleep in day after day. Lazy days is an indication of a lack of hunger. If you’re really hungry to step into your full potential, you’ll step right out of your comfort zone and do whatever it takes.

The issue is a lack of hunger. Maybe you don’t really want it.

Now think about it … why wouldn’t you want the abundant goodness God has available specifically for your life? One of two reasons … One, you don’t believe it’s truly available to you. Or two, you’ve gorged yourself on the cheap imitations of a BIG life and you’re full. It’s like playing the video game of life versus really living life. Sometimes we settle for the video game because it’s “just enough” and we leave no room for real life.

Girl, are you hungry? Do you want it? Matthew 5:6 says “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.”

There’s a condition to being filled. What’s the condition? A hunger for it. A hunger is a WANT, a deep DESIRE.

Who will be filled? Those who are HUNGRY. So here’s what you need to know today … if you don’t really WANT it, it’s really hard to GET it.

The question is, how bad do you want it? How hungry are you this morning?

God responds to your hunger.

Think of the crowd of thousands who had gathered to hear Jesus. They had sat for hours just trying to hear a single word. After being there so long, they grew faint from hunger. GOD SAW THEIR HUNGER AND RESPONDED. If they wouldn’t have been hungry, there would have been no need for God to fill.

You remember the miracle right? The only food in the crowd of thousands was the lunch of one boy. 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. And God said I CAN WORK WITH THAT. In our eyes, it would never be enough. In God’s hands, it was MORE THAN ENOUGH. Jesus broke the bread and the disciples began feeding the crowd. After everyone had ate all they could eat, Jesus instructed them to gather the leftovers. They filled 12 baskets full of leftover bread.

Impossible.

Aren’t you glad you are loved by the God of the impossible?

And aren’t you glad he sees your hunger and responds to it?

So here’s the deal, put this in bold in your journal … You acting like you don’t need anything is stopping God’s miracles in your life.

Hey, you don’t have it all together. You don’t have all the answers. Your plan, no matter how long it took you to formulate it, write it and laminate it, is NOT sufficient. You can settle for a little, unfulfilling comfortable life, but if you want to live up to your potential of a great big, beautiful, overflowing life … sister YOU NEED GOD.

Are you hungry for Him? Do you thirst for his presence in your life? Are you desperate for his guidance and provision? Are you willing to admit your need for him to fill your empty spaces?

When you are WEAK, THEN HE IS STRONG.

Luke 13:10-13: “On a Sabbath Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues, and a woman was there who had been crippled by a spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not straighten up at all. When Jesus saw her, he called her forward and said to her, “Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.” Then he put his hands on her, and immediately she straightened up and praised God.”

Ya’ll this woman had been crippled for 18 years and with the touch of Jesus, she was immediately healed. WooooHoooo, that’s my Jesus right there. Boom! I will do the impossible for you! I will change in an instant what you could not change for 18 years! Now where is our focus on this story? The miracle right? We focus on the miracle.

But I want you to focus on something else. I’ll read the scripture again, let’s not focus on the miracle, let’s focus on what led to the miracle. If you need a miracle in your life, learn from this woman’s miracle and see exactly what brought her to it. Here it is, what will bring you to your miracle:

“On a Sabbath Jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues, and a woman was there who had been crippled by a spirit for eighteen years. She was bent over and could not straighten up at all. When Jesus saw her, he called her forward and said to her, “Woman, you are set free from your infirmity.” Then he put his hands on her, and immediately she straightened up and praised God.”

What led to the miracle? We all say her infirmity. Her problem. She was crippled for 18 years. But if that’s where our focus is, we’re missing the application for our life today. This isn’t about what’s wrong with you. This isn’t about what happened to you. This isn’t about your need. This isn’t about what you can’t do … this is about what you CAN do.

Here’s what we’ve been missing in this miraculous story of healing. This poor, crippled, bent over woman, GOT UP AND WENT that day. She showed up. In order for her to be at the synagogue where Jesus was teaching, she first had to get up and go there.

I bet she didn’t feel like getting up that day. I bet she was aching and hurting. I bet she was even embarrassed by her condition. BUT SHE GOT UP ANY WAY.

That’s exactly what we need to do. We can’t sit around waiting for Jesus to come knocking on our door with our miracle. You have a responsibility in your story. Your responsibility is to get up and position yourself. Do what you can with what you have right now. Stop focusing on what you can’t do, and girl, do what you can do.

This woman got up and went even when she didn’t feel like it. Even when it was HARD FOR HER. Even when it had been hard for her for 18 years! Ahhhhh, sister will you bring your 18 year hardship, your 18 year struggle to an encounter with Jesus? Or will you give up thinking your miracle will never come? Have you bought into the lie that it will always be this way? Hey, nothing ever stays the same, all things are forever changing, so why can’t you believe your hardship could change too? Oh it could! One encounter with Jesus could radically change your life but you must position yourself for the encounter.

But may I take you even deeper? Can I take you deeper this morning?

There’s one more thing we may be missing in this story. How did this crippled woman make herself get up and go even when she didn’t feel like it? How do you make yourself do what you know you need to do when you plain ol’ don’t feel like it?

Well, my friend TD Jakes pointed this out to me and I share it with you this morning. What you don’t see in this story is what made this woman get up and show up f...

When did life become all about us? Really? How have we made this about ourselves?

Even when we arrive to this place of living with generosity and love, the truth is, it’s still about self because we hold back. We don’t fully dive in and do the things God has prompted us to do … why … because we fear what others may think of us. We fear looking foolish. We fear not fitting in. We fear failure. We fear judgment. It’s all so self-centered. We don’t do, because we’re so totally wrapped up in thinking it’s more about us than about God.

This week on Oahu, I’ve come face to face with the most humble man who is showing me how to simply get over myself. How to get out of my own head and into the will of God. How to overcome the little voice that tells me I can’t, and lean into the voice that says it’s bigger than me.

His name is Jim, and he’s the owner of a little coffee hut along the road on the way to the North Shore. His hut is nestled among the food trucks selling fresh scampi shrimp and pineapple smoothies, surrounded by honey bees, wild yellow canaries, and palm trees. He sells an iced coconut mocha that makes my taste buds sing.

On Jim’s little coffee stand is a purple wooden, hand painted sign that reads, “If Jesus Could Save a Wretch Like Me, He Can Save ANYONE!” He has full size bibles stacked on the counter, free to everyone.

A conversation unfolded with Jim, where I asked him to share his wretch story with me. He said, “My story is much the same as many others. I was living a selfish life, hurting everyone else along the way. I drank a lot of alcohol and created hurt everywhere I went.” He said, “Jesus had to leave the 99 to come look for me hard. I didn’t make it easy on him. But he still came.”

He told me he was given the gift of repentance. Woah … the gift of repentance. Did you know that’s a gift from God? Jim explained it like this … If you get pulled over for speeding, you apologize to the officer as he gives you a ticket and you promise you won’t do it again. The next day, you speed again, just hoping to get away with it. The gift of repentance is the difference between hoping to just get away with it again, and truly wanting something totally different.

The gift of repentance allows us to see the damage we are creating, and turns our hearts towards God and the souls all around us. The gift of repentance shows us life isn’t about us.

Repentance is a gift from your Heavenly Father who wants you to live in the fullness of life he created you for. When you receive and walk in the gift of repentance, your life becomes the most beautifully balanced and grounded example of humility and love.

Acts 11:18 “God has granted repentance that leads to life.” God GRANTED it meaning he gave it as a gift.

2 Timothy 2:25 “Hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.” Again, God GRANTS repentance to radically change our lives.

Have you ever asked God for the gift of repentance? This gift will take you out of the traps of selfish living and lead you to live that open, expansive, and limitless life Jesus came to give you. A life out of your own head, and into the fullness of everything God invites you to partner with him in.

HONEY, IT’ REALLY NOT ABOUT YOU. GET OVER YOURSELF.

Jim told me once God hunted him down and gave him the gift of repentance,

Living under the direction of God’s mighty Spirit, and being guided by his divine promptings, creates a life of great adventure. With God, we have a boldness and confidence to take risks. With him, we experience freedom from the fear of others’ opinions and our unsure next steps.

Do you live in that faith place? The place where you are fully surrendered and totally dependent on God coming through for you. The place where you are out in the deeps, over your head, counting on a water walking Jesus to empower you to do things you’ve never been able to do before.

Anything less than this faith place, is a settled place falling short of the potential God designed you with. That settled place where things are more safe, more certain, and more comfortable, leaves you with that unimpressed feeling about life where you question if there’s more.

Is that how you feel? You’re wondering if there’s more to this life for you. Feeling empty and unfulfilled? YES THERE’S MORE! Immeasurably more than you could ever ask or imagine. And the only way you get to experience it is by the guidance of God’s Spirit which will always take you to uncomfortable places!

But, we’ve been tricked into believing comfort is king. Comfort is the destination we’re striving for. Comfort is a sign of arriving. But we’re confused about that destination. You’ve arrived alright, but what you don’t realize about this destination of comfort is you’ve arrived to a soul-sucking prison that has silenced the promptings of God’s Spirit. You’re not living a great adventure with your Creator in the great unknown, you’re freaking comfortable with a plan you think you’re in control of. It looks good on the outside, but dang does it suck on the inside.

Psalm 23: 5 “You prepare a feast before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows with blessings.”

We all want the feast, but we forfeit the feast because we’re running from the uncomfortable presence of our enemies. Every time you avoid discomfort, you forfeit your feast. God wants to fill your cup to overflowing. More joy than you could possibly imagine. More blessings than you could ever contain. So much purpose and passion that you spring up out of bed with energy! But, many times we’re not living in the overflow because we’ve avoided the presence of our enemies.

Your enemy represents the threat to your purpose. The threat to your comfort. The problem in your way. The battle you feel entirely too inadequate and unequipped to ever proceed in. The risk that’s too great.

Yeah, you have that threat in your life right now? The problem that’s stressing you out. The uncertainty that’s been stealing your peace. The struggle that you’re too ashamed to reveal to anyone. Well here’s what you need to know … it’s in the presence of that threat that God prepares a FEAST FOR YOU.

Stop running from this and see the overflowing abundance of provision God has for you here.

When has God given you permission to be miserable in this battle? When has he ever instructed you to dwell in overwhelm and play out the worst case scenarios in your head? When has he told you to give up? When has he told you to settle for familiar and go no further? Never. That’s not of God.

What is of God is a table with a feast prepared for you right in the middle of this. God’s provision in sweeter, more personal and direct ways that ever before. That’s what’s here for you. Go ahead and belly up to this table and receive what he has for you!

As a follower of Christ, you have power. Power you may not be accessing fully.

What if you don’t have to struggle as much as you’ve been struggling? What if there’s a better way, and that way has been made fully available for you, you simply have to choose it. Would you choose it today?

Scripture is filled with stories of God’s spirit empowering his people to do supernatural things. Judges 14:6, “The Spirit of the Lord came powerfully upon Samson.” Through God’s spirit, Samson did things that were not humanly possible. He killed a lion with his bare hands, that’s not normal. He battled 1,000 men with only the jawbone of a donkey as his weapon. That is not normal! But that’s what God’s spirit does, it empowers us to do totally “not normal” things!

It’s normal to wake up tired, groggy, and generally grouchy … but honey, it doesn’t have to be that way. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY. God’s spirit empowers us to do things that aren’t normal.

It’s normal to go home after a rough, exhausting day at work and be edgy and short, and want to bury your face in a bag of cheese puffs and a glass of wine … but my sister, it doesn’t have to be that way. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY. Why? Because God’s spirit empowers us to do things that aren’t normal.

It’s normal to avoid hard things and opt for what is easiest and fastest. It’s normal to back down from the true desires of your heart when met with resistance, and settle for what you can have now over what you want most. But guess what, it totally doesn’t have to be this way. YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY. Why? Again, because God’s spirit empowers us to do things that aren’t normal.

If God can supernaturally strengthen and empower Samson to do things that are not humanly possible, don’t you think he can strengthen and empower you to wake up, show up, do the right thing, with the right attitude, and not quit this time? Don’t you think he can change what has always been normal for you and do something radically different in you?

Oh, I know he can.

In fact, I continually put myself in a position to experience God’s supernatural power to do things that really shouldn’t be possible, just so I can see the full effect of what God has offered me. The result is, I’m completely blown away by God time and time again!

But there was a time when I assumed defeat at the first sign of a challenge. There was a time when I assumed what had always been is what would always be, and what I had always felt would just continue. But then, God opened my eyes to the limits I had allowed in my own life which were holding me back from living all I could really live.

And honestly, that just ticks me off. It ticks me off that I’ve been tricked in the past. Tricked into assuming I couldn’t do hard things. Tricked into believing I couldn’t possibly be good enough or strong enough. I was blindly led into bad moods, poor attitudes, surrendered goals, and generally living a whole lot smaller life than I was capable of. All because I failed to understand God’s spirit strengthens me to do all things through Christ!

Philippians 4:13 “I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.”

Through Christ, YOU CAN DO THIS!

Think about this, the power Samson experienced through God’s spirit was not constant. His strengthening was dependent on God’s spirit showing up in the moment. WE ARE NOT LIMITED LIKE SAMSON WAS.

We are here to fall in love with a Holy God. That is the purpose of our lives. To grow closer to him, to know him, to discover his good plans for us, and to walk in his ways which lead to a total surrender with radical obedience. As we fall in love with God, we are transformed. Who we are changes. The desires of our heart change. Our true nature as designed by God is revealed, as the layers of who we have become fall away.

You want to know how to get on track with your life and stay on track … it is this … fall completely in love with God. He does the hard work of inner change for you, and then you’re supernaturally empowered to make the physical changes. Yes, the changes you’ve relentlessly tried in your own power to make, and feel powerless to continue. Now, God wants to do his work.

Our God is a gentleman. He is gracious and kind and so very patient with us. He doesn’t come in with a dumptruck of shame and guilt to change our hearts. He shows up with a dumptruck of totally undeserved and unmerited grace and mercy that overwhelms us with acceptance.

Honey, God has always loved you. He’s always wanted you. He’s never once gazed upon you with eyes of conviction. He’s not shaking his head in disapproval over you, he’s extending his hand of invitation to you. He says, “Come on in my girl, let’s heal this.”

Yes, heal you. Heal what has been broken. Heal what is causing this pain in your life. Heal what has created this habit, this distance, this ache. How does God heal you? With his love. His all-covering, 100% sufficient, all-inclusive, love.

Have you ever been to an all-inclusive resort? It’s all included. You pay once, and everything you need and want is covered. Jesus paid for your eternal entrance to God’s all-inclusive resort! Everything is covered for you.

Every past screw up, every current struggle, every doubt, every moment of wavering, every insecurity and every weakness. It’s all covered. That’s the power of God’s love in your life. Have you received it?

I’m discovering receiving this indescribable love of God is really a life-long journey. It’s not a one time realization. It’s every unfolding to reveal more than you could ever imagine, perfectly sized to engulf you in wholeness.

Receiving his love, and falling in love with him, creates a genuine change in your character.

If you were once insecure, God develops confidence. If you were once jealous, God centers you. If you were once co-dependent, God creates a shift. If you were once weak, God strengthens you. If you were only drawn to toxic relationships, God heals you so you’re no longer continually trying to fill that hole. If you were once addicted, God releases that grip on you and forever change your desires.

One of my favorite examples of God’s love in action is the real life, radical healing of addiction in my friend’s husband. He had been addicted to alcohol for over 20 years, and it had successfully destroyed every area of his life. He had tried countless times to overcome his addiction, but each time it would come back with a stronger hold than the last time. But one encounter with the love of God changed him forever.

As he sat in his car outside of the liquor store, preparing to go in and buy his next poisonous fix that would surely create more chaos and damage, he felt the physical hand of God on his shoulder. This was a hand of love. A hand of a father who reached out to his son, with gentleness and life changing power at the same time. A hand that said, “My son, I have better plans for you,

As you await that big thing in your life to happen, are you missing the million little priceless moments happening now? Have you become generally unimpressed with the sheer miracle of your life, with glazed over eyes, a distracted mind, and a disconnected spirit?

The truth is, most of us have.

We don’t mean to, it just happens. We wait for big vacations to wake us up with an impressive show, then we return to our ordinary, unimpressed state of living, awaiting the next big thing to eventually come along. But honey, if vacation is 1 week out of the year, what about the other 51? The weekend is only 29% of your life, the overwhelming majority of sunrises are on work and school days with early alarms, tasks you don’t want to do, and the same dang messes over and over again.

Oh, Father, wake us up … we don’t want to waste this life and miss our million little moments in the process. We don’t want to live for the weekend and dread the rest. We don’t want to be unimpressed with your works all around us, awaiting something bigger and grander.

Over the weekend, I watched one of my favorite movies, “50 First Dates.” I mean seriously, doesn’t every girl love this movie? I was especially interested since it was filmed on Oahu where I will call home for the next month. You likely know the story, Lucy, played by Drew Berrymore suffered a brain injury which causes her to lose every memory of the day just lived when she goes to sleep. She wakes up every morning believing it is Sunday, October 13th of the same year, and life is exactly as it was before her accident. Adam Sandler plays Henry, a goofy guy who tries to get Lucy to fall in love with him for the first time all over again every day. Watching it this time, the final 2 minutes of the movie just took my breath away and I saw something I had never really seen before.

Lucy wakes up, as usual, not remembering a single day since her accident, although over 5 years have passed. She watches a video detailing the unfolding events she would not remember. And every single thing about her world is a wonder land. She is amazed by every detail. It’s all new. It’s all beautiful. It’s all a blessing. Henry greets her on the deck of their sail boat, and he says, “Would you like to meet your daughter?”

And in this beautiful moment, Lucy looks at her little girl, as if for the very first time, and hugs her so tight. She’s overwhelmed with gratitude for the reality of her life. She’s not unimpressed. She’s not bored. She’s not dreading another ordinary day. Her eyes are wide open in wonder and awe, and she’s fully ALIVE.

And this is what God wishes for us. For us to be fully alive to the wonder of our lives. For us to be overwhelmingly impressed instead of overwhelmingly stressed. For us to keep our blessings in their rightful place as blessings and not allow them to fall in the gutters of burden.

But dang, Sis, are you in the gutter? God wants to help you get out!

Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 6: 11-13 MSG “I can’t tell you how much I long for you to enter this wide-open spacious life. We didn’t fence you in. The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small, but you’re living them in a small way. I’m speaking as plainly as I can and with great affection. Open up your lives. Live openly and expansively.”

You and I are blessed with the memory of the days that brought us to today, so we wake up aware of where we are, what we have, and what is happening. Or so we think ….

Actually, I think we are so numb to the rhythm of life,

How To Know It’s God

Very rarely does God bring me back around to the same topic and prompt me to teach on it again, just 2 weeks later. I typically wake up with something new and fresh, but this morning, it was different. This morning, all I can think about are the amount of questions coming in that are still asking, “How do I know God is speaking to me? Why isn’t he telling me what to do?”

I keep redirecting these questions to the podcast from 2 weeks ago titled “Why Isn’t God Talking”, but the questions keep coming in. So today, God is directing me to hit this one again with a few more answers.

If you missed that episode, I highly encourage you to listen, it’s #1321. As a quick recap, we looked at Jesus’ teaching in John 10: 27 “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

Shepherds know and name each of their sheep. They don’t rely on a number tag in their ear, they actually KNOW them because they literally live with them. And a sheep knows the voice of their shepherd over every other voice. Sheep have been tested with the voices of shepherds of other flocks, and they will not respond to any voice other than their own shepherd.

So, when Jesus says we are his sheep, and we listen to his voice and follow him, he means we have the ability to know the promptings of his spirit over the promptings of any other spirit. When we have remained close to him, we have learned his unmistakacsble voice and there is no confusion.

However, if we have stopped spending time with him and we have strayed a bit, we may be confused on his voice. He may be calling us, and we may not be recognizing his call. The solution is to get reconnected to him. Spend time with him. Quality time, not check the box time. Grow in relationship with Christ, not in religion. There’s a difference.

But God has brought me back to this lesson again and revealed to me why I myself have at times failed to recognize his voice, and why others may be struggling with the same. Here it is … we stopped responding.

If you didn’t respond the last time you felt God prompt you with something specific, then the next time you were less sure it was him. With each delay and resistance, we become less and less connected, and more and more uncertain of the voice of our shepherd.

It’s like my dog, Tank. If he is hot on the scent of some new, exciting dog from Tennessee he has never smelled before, and he doesn’t listen to my promptings the first time, he’s less likely to listen the second time. The more he doesn’t respond to me, the harder it is to get him to respond. The further he wanders, the less he hears me.

And it’s the same with us. When we stop responding to the promptings of God’s spirit, we become less likely to hear him or obey him next time. We go deeper and deeper into lost woods and then wonder why God’s not talking to us anymore.

So, what can we do? We can start responding again! Yip, it really could be that simple, Sis.

The very next time you feel that little stir to make that phone call, start that conversation, offer that help, take that leap, make that move, knock on that door, and give it a try, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

It’s so easy to discount every past nudge of the Holy Spirit when you didn’t respond. It’s easy to assume that was just your wild imagination telling you crazy things. But what if it wasn’t? Really, what if the last prompting you dismissed was God calling you to something you’ve been wanting for a really long darn time?

Do you ever talk yourself out of something that may very well be awesome?

You have an opportunity to go somewhere or do something, but the little voice within pipes up and starts telling you all the reasons why you can’t, so you don’t. You make plans, but you cancel the plans. You have good intentions, but you don’t follow through with the intentions. You say yes, then you regret your yes and decline. You felt that stir in your spirit, but you quieted it the next day.

This is the absolute truth for the majority of us, myself included. It leaves me to wonder how many awesome opportunities we miss out on because our yes turns into no before we even give it a chance.

I host women’s adventure retreats. It happens most every time, a few days or weeks prior to the retreat, a ticket holder will contact me with a request to cancel. The reasons vary, but I know for many, at the root of it is that little voice that tells them this is too scary, too uncomfortable, too much, and they’re looking for the first available reasoning to justify not coming.

Each time this happens, it breaks my heart for them. Why? Because I know that little voice won. Their opportunity was stolen because they talked themselves out of it.

Girls, what if we stopped dismissing ourselves from opportunities to experience more life?

What if we said yes to life, then refused to move from our yes, and force ourselves to show up? What if God could count on us to be ever ready to embrace every opportunity for living he brings our way? Even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when it’s unsure. Even if we show up shaking in our boots.

I wonder what he could and would do? I wonder how much bigger our lives could be if opportunities were embraced and we had the confidence to keep showing up?

Will you have the confidence to say YES TO LIFE? Or will you excuse yourself again?

Will you buy into the lies of the enemy that tell you you’re not good enough or not strong enough, that you’re too old, too fat, too awkward, and always too busy? How many opportunities have his lies stolen from you and how many more will you allow now?

Jesus says in Matthew 5:37 “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.”

I believe Jesus is telling us to stop being wishy washy. In one day, and out the next … talking ourselves out of what we said we would do, and into what we said we wouldn’t do. Where does that come from? From the evil one. The evil one is getting in your head and turning your good yeses into settled nos, and your healthy nos into negotiated yeses beyond the boundaries.

Let your yes be yes. Show up. Follow through. Do it.

Let your no be no. You said this won’t happen, then don’t let it happen. You said that was the last time, then hold that boundary.

How does this apply to you this week? Think about that now.

When you say yes to life, life says yes to you. There’s a great big world of opportunity waiting on the other side of your yes. I wonder what your amazing creator has designed for you if you’ll trust him enough to show up for it now?You must learn to trust there is a future waiting for you that is beyond anything you can grasp at this moment. Today you cannot fathom what your future can be. Your mind cannot comprehend what is truly possible with the spirit of God living in you, guiding you. But oh sweet child, if you will only lean into him, surrender your will fully to his,

What’s happening in your life right now seems like one thing, but what if it’s actually something different. This feels like disappointment, but what if it’s simply a divine reappointment? This feels like a mountain you will never climb, but what if it’s the beginning of greater heights than you ever imagined?

Many times in my own life I’ve recognized it’s not what I’m going through that is so bad, it’s my thoughts about it that are bad. It’s my mood, my attitude, my perspective, that changes the emotion of my circumstances. Even the absolute worst days of my life, days of tremendous loss, days of damaging things that can’t be undone and painful words that can’t be unsaid, with time and distance even those days can be found to be part of a bigger, better plan unfolding.

The day I lost my Daddy, it was as if time stood still. I held his hand, knowing soon I would be letting go of that strong hand for the last time. The finality of life was evident, and every passing moment brought us closer to that final breath. But, I was given a gift that day that changed everything. A gift of a different perspective. A gift of a different soundtrack that changed my thoughts, and therefore changed my entire experience.

Daddy was in heart and kidney failure. His entire body was shutting down. It would only be a matter of hours, maybe a day or two at the most, and it would all be over. But for Daddy, he had seen what was awaiting him and he couldn’t wait to go. The veil between heaven and earth had grown very thin and as he lay in bed with his eyes closed, we could overhear his reactions to what he was seeing. He let out a deep belly laugh and said, “Jesus is so funny.” He exclaimed, “everyone is so happy here!” And then, he would open his eyes and be back with us.

With pure calm and peace, he knew it was time, and he shared his love with each of us, said his goodbyes, and gazed at my mama before intentionally closing his eyes. His breathing would slow, growing ever so faint, and finally it would stop. Then, the most amazing thing happened, Daddy opened his eyes with sheer hope, excitement and anticipation, scanning the room. Then he said, “why am I still here?”

He was expecting heaven. He was expecting that first breath in paradise, and instead he was taking his next labored breath in a hospice room.

He was hearing different music than us. Daddy heard music of a journey to paradise and the best day ever. We heard music of loss and grief and the worst day ever. He was expecting the beginning, we were expecting the end.

This process would happen several times on that final day. He would once again be so intentional with his love and his goodbyes, and that final gaze at my Mama by his side, and he would again close his eyes, awaiting the angels to come take him to what he had seen. Back to that funny Jesus where everyone was so happy. His breathing would slow, then it would stop, then his eyes would shoot open again in wild anticipation, followed by the disappointment of still being here on earth.

And this was our gift. The gift that changed our music. Now, each time his eyes closed, we too heard the music of anticipation, praying his eyes would open in paradise this time. Our music of grief was silenced, and the music of promise was all we could hear.

My sisters, what if we just need to change the music? The soundtrack to the unfolding of life. What if this isn’t what you think it is, and what if the emotions you’ve tied to these circumstances and these events have created a soundtrack that has stolen the joy out of the journey and created instead drama, chaos, overwhelm,