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It’s a great week for movies as the boys get to review a bunch of awesomeness on the newest Cast of Binge. First, though, it’s the Google Voice game where Law gets put to the test once again by Moreno and fails miserably. We also have a new and improved installment of Pixar or Porn where Ammon finds himself in a much tougher situation than last week.

TV Round-Up has all the dirty dirt on Ray Donovan, The Strain, Sons of Anarchy, and Boardwalk Empire. What Did You Watch delivers a summary of our thoughts on GONE GIRL (Listen later this week for a new episode of Movie Homework dedicated to the film for our full reviews), and complete and thorough thoughts on HORNS and AMERICAN MUSCLE. There’s also tons of horror reviews as Ammon gets schooled in some classic tales of terror and Law delivers his first installment of the 101 Damnations reviews.

As well as the special Movie Homework episode later this week, stay tuned for our commentaries for Boardwalk Empire, The Strain, and Sons of Anarchy. Five new shows this week, bitches!

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Brother Chris joins us on this week’s commentary of Sons.  Law catches Chris up on what he’s missed this season so far, which takes all of 1 minute.  Venus comes back to the fold and we discuss whether or not she fucked Tig.  This is a very important question since it’s part of our final exam.

If you’re keeping track at home, we are rounding the Jax Wrongful Death Toll to 40.

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It’s almost over. We have to keep telling ourselves that. Where are the cops? Where is the military? Why did middle age Setrakian ride a horse around the corner? Why didn’t anybody on the show clap when “you know who” got mouth-dicked? These are the questions we’re left with after this, the latest installment of crap from the creators of The Strain. It’s almost over.

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Well hey there Boardwalk Empire.  Nice for you to show up.  In easily the best episode of the season, Boardwalk has set up some conflicting parties going to war nicely.  In this commentary, Jack and I discuss our favorite moments of the episode, then realize we’re just talking about every goddamn Capone is on screen.

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Ammon, Moreno, and Law are in good spirits this week as they step up their game, not only with new technology, but with a brand new game. We call it Pixar or Porn and it’s as bad as it sounds. We play a clip from a movie and Ammon has to determine whether it’s from a Pixar film or a porno. Ammon may own this round but things will only get tougher and stupider as we figure out what we’re doing each week.

As  for other stuff, TV Round-Up has talk of Ray Donovan, The Strain, Sons of Anarchy, and Boardwalk Empire while What Did You Watch lays down some sick beats for THE EQUALIZER, SIN CITY: A DAME TO KILL FOR, FILTH, BAD ASSES, I AIN’T SCARED OF YOU, OCULUS, FRANK, and AIRPLANE. All that and Kupka calls in with a review for A WALK AMONG THE TOMBSTONES.

Then it’s a walk down sounder memory lane as Moreno empties his old folder to end the show. I cried.

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You kn0w what?  Fuck it.  I LOVE Sons of Anarchy.  I’ve tried to balance my love and hatred for the show and I just have to let love rule, like the great poet Lenny Kravitz says.  It’s insane and illogical and that’s why I love it so much.   Plus, how can you not love Jax, the smartest, most clever gangster who ever gangstered.  It’s amazing to me that for years, every gang known to mankind still trusts Jax.  Listen to Jim Law and myself carefully and expertly dissect this amazing episode with precision and wit.   I don’t even think Law burps once.

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Ever wonder why constantly reference “lethal mouth penises” on this show so much? The evidence is in the picture below. Just to be clear to any and all television shows looking to make a name for themselves in the future, if you have two of the most annoying, awful, ridiculously horrible characters in your story, whatever you do, don’t put them in the same scene together and try to force some sort of corny sub-plot down our throats for any amount of time in any episode ever. The Strain does exactly that here. Twice. We’re too far gone to care about this show anymore and even the decent stuff is pissing us off. And seriously, is there any worse looking bad guy in modern television. We try to break down why we hate The Master so much but can’t get past his lips. And his ears. And his chin. And his ball-sack cheeks. There’s only two more episodes.

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Boardwalk is trudging along like a wounded calf through molasses.  Goddamn I’m poetic.  You’d think with only 8 episodes, they’d speed things up.  But in true Boardwalk fashion, the producers are like “fuuuuuck you”.  While trying not to be too negative, Jack and I get into what we like about the season and the episode so far.  This includes Michael Shannon’s face on some lady, the difference between strippers then and now (hint: ping pong balls) and more Godfather references.  Because why not?

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Moreno, Ammon, and Law have united once again to waste your time in epic fashion. Google Voice is played, movies are reviewed, and television is watched.

Firstly, Moreno chimes in with his own King of Hollywood idea and some way or another it ends up starring Geena Davis. We also get some voicemails concerning the subject that center around the ultimate James Bond movie and A-list porn.

TV Round-Up gets serious with Boardwalk Empire, Sons of Anarchy, Ray Donovan, and The Strain while Ammon checks out the premiere episodes for Forever, Red Band Society, and Z Nation.

What Did We Watch is packed full of hate for TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION before we branch off into other, better, films such as SPACE STATION 76, MAPS TO THE STARS, MANSOME, and Moreno’s thoughts on EDGE OF TOMORROW.

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Peaches Christ, what a fantastically awful episode.  And I’m not even sure if it’s a good or bad thing.   The good things that came out of this episode (and commentary) is that we’ve begun to keep a tally of the number of wrongful deaths in this entire season.  I believe with this episode we’re at 13.  Other things to come out of this commentary:  Unser is a lizard, Wendy fucks everybody, Gemma has a dry vagina, Jax is so cool.  We’ve always known Juice has cried a lot but fucking hell.  Anyway, listen and enjoy.  Shakedown!

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