Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 5p PT / 8p ET: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck

Ginger Koehler is a sex educator, columnist and speaker from the Midwest where her earliest "sex talk" happened over mac and cheese at a McAlister's… and ended with her bursting into tears when her mom explained what a period was.

In this episode we talk about what it actually means to study sex academically, why people confidently give terrible sex advice online, and the moment Ginger realized she wanted to build a career translating complex sex science into language normal humans can understand. We also get into missionary position myths, writing about sex for a living, and why curiosity might be the most important sexual skill anyone can have.

Want more? Catch bonus Reddit story reactions, private chats and more on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

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Where to find Ginger: Instagram: @gingerr_and_spice

Ginger & Spice Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/7f6vAvxqI2aexnSCc32FVT?si=17bfdfc63cbd4df0

Substack: https://gingerkoehler.substack.com/

Where to find Arielle: Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Like spicy jewelry? Me too! Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle

Episode Cheat Sheet

02:51 How Ginger became a sex educator and sex columnist 04:28 Studying sexuality academically vs learning from experience 06:24 "I need you to say blue balls" and translating sex science into normal language 09:43 Epididymal hypertension vs "blue balls" and sexual slang explained 12:08 Why bad sex advice spreads so easily online 14:12 Sex myths people still believe about bodies and pleasure 18:04 Missionary position myths and why "boring" sex positions can actually be great 21:10 How sexual expectations shape dating and relationships 23:10 Writing about sex vs talking about sex publicly 27:28 Thoughtful sex vs performative sex culture 31:44 The moment Ginger decided to study sexuality academically 35:21 Getting the "period talk" over mac and cheese at McAlister's 38:47 Growing up shy about sex and becoming a public sex educator 41:09 Why comprehensive sex education still scares people 45:07 What comprehensive sex education actually teaches 49:12 Why curiosity is the most underrated sexual skill 52:38 What age-appropriate sex education really means

Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 5p PT / 8p ET: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck

Maurice James is a comedian, host, actor, and co-creator of Kinky Comedy from Jackson, Mississippi where his formal sex education came from an Episcopalian school science class taught by a teacher who carried a petrified bull testicle cane… and where sex ed mostly felt like mitosis and meiosis rather than anything connected to his own body.

Want to her Maurice and I unfiltered reading Reddit stories? Join the afterparty over on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Where to find Maurice: Instagram: @mauricejamescomedy & @kinkycomedy

Kinky Comedy: https://www.kinkycomedy.com

Where to find Arielle: Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Bonus stories found exclusively on Patreon

• STORY 1: My life has imploded. Husband 29M slept with my mom 55F right before we got married two years ago.
• STORY 2: I told my girlfriend I sometimes think about other girls during sex and she lost it

Like your jewlery a bit kinky? Me too. Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle

Episode Cheat Sheet

02:32 The origin of Kinky Comedy and bringing kink and comedy together 04:11 Why being a good Dom requires communication, trust and emotional intelligence 08:14 Yes / No / Maybe lists and negotiating kink scenes 10:33 Why sex is like producing a film or planning a journey 12:57 Rope bondage, body awareness and communicating boundaries 15:08 Practicing "no" and learning to hold boundaries 19:11 Maurice's unexpected introduction to kink at a Tinder dinner party 21:21 Why kink communities value clarity and communication 23:41 Shame, sexuality and the fear of being rejected by community 25:59 Coming out as kinky and the real career risks involved 30:39 Authenticity, privilege and living a fully expressed life 37:37 Growing up in Jackson, Mississippi 39:53 Sex education in religious private school 42:11 Why sex education needs to be ongoing and age appropriate 44:31 Abstinence education and the harm of ignoring sexuality 48:23 High school sex culture, late bloomers and learning from friends 50:23 Munches, kink community and finding people on the same journey 52:06 Losing a job, breakup and starting stand-up comedy 54:05 Building Kinky Comedy from a backyard show to a touring production 57:55 Community support and watching creative projects grow 59:58 Producing a show vs developing as a comedian 01:01:37 Comedy etiquette and why audiences shouldn't film comedians

Justin Herman is a television director and producer, internationally touring stand-up comedian, and co-creator of Kinky Comedy originally from Albany, New York where his formal sex education consisted of one awkward school lesson separating boys and girls, a confusing anatomical chart, and a diner conversation with his dad about "the birds and the bees" that definitely did NOT cover kink.

In this episode we talk about the lifestyle community, kink and non-monogamy, how Kinky Comedy accidentally became a hub for sexually liberated audiences, the anthropology of play parties, why lifestyle spaces tend to create deeper friendships, and what happens when kinky jokes collide with vanilla comedy crowds. We also get into porn magazines as early sex education, polyamory as emotional calculus, consent culture in BDSM communities, and the surprisingly wholesome reality of seeing your friends thrive in sexually open environments.

Then, Justin and I go deep reading Reddit stories over on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 4p PT / 7p ET: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck

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Where to find Justin: Instagram: @justin_herman Kinky Comedy: https://kinkycomedy.com Website: https://justinhermancomedy.com

Where to find Arielle: Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Bonus stories found exclusively on Patreon:

• STORY 1: Am I the asshole for wanting my girl to do more cleaning around the apartment?
• STORY 2: Am I the asshole for banning my sister's boyfriend from my house and closing the door in his face?

Like my cuffs? Me too! Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle

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Episode Cheat Sheet

02:05 What Kinky Comedy is and how it started 06:40 What "the lifestyle" actually means (kink, BDSM and non-monogamy) 09:10 Why women watching male-male porn often feel safer and more connected to the pleasure 11:15 Building community through sex-positive comedy shows 15:50 Why kinky jokes bomb in vanilla comedy rooms 18:20 XBIZ, adult industry spaces and sexual openness 20:40 Seeing your friends have sex and what it teaches about personality 23:00 The anthropology of play parties and lifestyle spaces 25:15 Why polyamory requires extreme emotional intelligence 27:30 Body positivity, vulvas and seeing real bodies in lifestyle spaces 29:35 Why naked confidence makes everyone hotter 31:50 Consent culture and why lifestyle spaces prioritize women's comfort 34:05 Negotiation vs coercion in kink and BDSM dynamics 36:00 The Orgy Dome at Burning Man and radical consent practices 38:10 Why people attend play parties without having sex 40:13 Justin's real sex education: awkward school lessons and the diner birds-and-bees talk 42:20 Porn magazines as early sex education for teenage boys 46:30 Why boys looking at porn together is its own weird cultural ritual 49:40 Punching down in comedy and evolving standards in humor 54:15 Why comedy should evolve as society evolves 56:30 The origin of the "real good sex guy" title 58:50 Growing Kinky Comedy into a real community event

Lotus Lain is an adult performer, producer, intimacy coordinator and sex worker advocate originally from California's Central Valley where growing up in a small town meant most of her real sex education came later through curiosity, the internet, and eventually working in the adult industry itself.

In this episode we talk about the unexpected overlap between porn and Hollywood, how the adult industry approached consent, boundaries and choreography long before mainstream film and television caught up, and why productions eventually realized they needed intimacy coordinators. We also get into mentorship in the adult industry, what actually happens on set when filming sex scenes, and why performers deserve experts guiding those moments.

Catch Lotus and I gettin' real reading Reddit stories over on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 4p PT / 7p ET: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck

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Where to find Lotus: Instagram: @icy.lotus TikTok: @icy.lotus

Where to find Arielle: Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Organizations we support:

• Free Speech Coalition
• Sexual Wellness Professional Alliance

Bonus stories found exclusively on Patreon:

• STORY 1: My husband (37M) has been seeing other women and I (36F) don't know if I should give him another chance. What would you do?
• STORY 2: AIO? My daughter didn't listen to the teacher during a female emergency and is now receiving a referral

Like my cuffs? Me too! Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle

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Episode Cheat Sheet:

02:29 Growing up in California's Central Valley 04:28 Discovering the adult industry 06:36 Mentorship and "porn mom" lineage 08:45 Consent and boundaries on adult film sets 10:55 The logistics of filming sex scenes 13:18 Why Hollywood eventually needed intimacy coordinators 15:31 Differences between porn sets and traditional film sets 17:38 Choreographing realistic sex scenes 19:54 Why actors need experts guiding intimate scenes 22:15 Performer advocacy and safety on set 24:35 The rise of intimacy coordination in Hollywood 26:58 What film productions still get wrong about sex scenes 28:40 Why sex workers understand boundaries and consent 30:41 Supporting performers during vulnerable scenes 33:01 Changing the culture of filming intimacy

Aimee Latta is a certified embodied intimacy and relationship coach and the host of the podcast Come Talk With Aimee, originally from Utah where the best sex education she got was a fifth grade presentation from a very enthusiastic husband and wife team… followed by years of abstinence-only education and a very graphic childbirth video meant to scare everyone into never having sex.

In this episode we talk about growing up in Utah, abstinence-only sex education, Mormon purity culture, and what happens when the only messaging around sex is prevention instead of pleasure. We also get into Aimee's journey from working in public health policy to becoming an intimacy and relationship coach helping people reconnect with their bodies, their pleasure, and their partners.

Want more? Catch bonus Reddit story reactions, private chats and more on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 4p PT / 7p ET: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck

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Where to find Aimee: Instagram: @cometalkwithaimee

TikTok: @cometalkwithaimee

Podcast: https://www.cometalkwithaimee.com/podcast

Where to find Arielle: Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Like my cuffs? Me too! Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle

Episode cheat sheet:

00:46 Starting a sex podcast and talking about sex publicly 03:22 Why talking about sex still feels taboo 05:18 How Aimee started the Come Talk With Aimee podcast 10:00 Being a public voice in sex education and intimacy coaching 18:54 From public health policy to becoming an intimacy coach 28:12 Growing up in Utah with abstinence-only sex education 34:57 BYU rules, Mormon purity culture, and sex before marriage 47:42 Mormon garments, religion, and sexuality 49:21 Becoming a sex and relationship coach 53:52 Painful sex in marriage and rediscovering pleasure 59:57 Why couples struggle to talk openly about sex

Tito Bonito is an international burlesque performer, host and instructor originally from Miami, Florida where he knew he was gay before he even knew how babies were made… and learned most of the rest through TLC, the Spice Girls, and sheer curiosity.

Catch Tito and I talkin' some real shit reading Reddit stories and join the afterparty over on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 4p PT / 7p ET: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck

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Where to find Tito: Instagram: @cubanmissilecrisis | Links: https://www.titobonito.com/links

Where to find Arielle: Insta: @ariellezadok // @birdsandbeesdontfck TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck

Bonus stories found exclusively on Patreon:

• STORY 1: My (31F) husband (33M) of four years doesn't take our role playing seriously when we have sex. He purposely takes his characters way over the top.
• STORY 2: AITA for dropping our dinner on the ground and walking out when my boyfriend asked me "What's for dinner tonight, b*tch?"

Like my cuffs? Me too! Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle

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Episode Cheat Sheet:

03:07 Shadowbanning, algorithms and why sex educators need Patreon 07:00 Demisexuality, graysexuality and why dating apps don't work for everyone 09:14 Friends who fuck, play communities and chosen family 10:41 Why hookup culture looks different for women, femmes and men 12:45 The dream of a hookup app for women and femmes 18:31 Why talking about sex openly matters 20:00 Therapy, curiosity and emotional intelligence in relationships 23:07 Why getting "dicked down" can improve your mood 24:22 Prostate pleasure, anal play and why butt toys need a stopper 27:05 Lube 101: silicone vs water based and toy safety 29:31 Gooning, masturbation and slowing down sexual experiences 31:40 Subspace, rope play and erotic trance states 36:18 Growing up gay in Miami and early memories of sexuality 40:52 Masculinity, machismo and emotionally healthy men 46:22 Why it's harder for men to seek emotional or sexual support 49:36 The performance of masculinity and learning sensuality 53:55 Why monogamy puts pressure on one partner to meet every sexual need 57:35 Men in burlesque and how Tito found the stage 59:27 The early burlesque scene and performing masculine tropes 01:03:44 Why burlesque is political, comedic and deeply sex positive 01:06:03 Giving audiences permission to explore sexuality 01:08:20 Consent culture and why burlesque spaces teach boundaries

Join the watch party LIVE AT FIVE on YouTube: https://youtu.be/BKSYUvCUo74?si=BiA5cpUkzvn53BrX

Jimanekia Eborn is a trauma specialist, sexuality educator, survivor advocate, co-owner of Cintima, and founder of the nonprofit Tending the Garden, originally from Riverside, California where she actually DID received sex education multiple times growing up… but was any of it good? Absolutely not.

In this episode we talk about grief, trauma work, modern dating struggles, sex education failures, intimacy coordination, professional wrestling (yes, I mean that), mental health, and why community and safe spaces are essential for connection and pleasure.

Catch Jimanekia and I reading Reddit stories and join the afterparty over on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Bonus stories found exclusively on Patreon:

• STORY 1: AITA for cancelling mother's day celebration that I arranged for my wife after hearing what she told my son?
• STORY 2: AIO if I end my relationship because my bf kisses and tells me he loves me before leaving for work in the morning?

Where to find Jimanekia: Instagram: @jimanekia Cintima Training: https://cintima.co Nonprofit: https://tendingthegarden.love

Where to find Arielle: Insta: @ariellezadok // @birdsandbeesdontfck TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Like my cuffs? Me too! Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle

Episode Cheat Sheet & Index:

00:09 Intro 02:30 Imposter syndrome and starting the podcast 05:00 Jimanekia's work in professional wrestling mental health 08:30 Losing her father and navigating grief 10:20 The power of laughter during difficult moments 12:10 Community, connection, and safe spaces during the pandemic 15:15 Dating apps and the loss of real connection 17:45 Nervous systems, safety, and intimacy 20:00 Protecting your peace and sexual boundaries 21:40 Working in sex education and consent culture 23:00 Growing up in Riverside, California 23:50 Early sex education experiences 25:30 Sneaking HBO and learning from Real Sex and Loveline 29:00 Why representation in sex education matters 31:20 Finding community in the sex industry 33:30 Boundaries and accountability in sexuality spaces 36:00 How Jimanekia got into intimacy coordination training 40:30 Building Cintima and training intimacy coordinators 44:00 Working across trauma care, media, and sexuality education 47:00 Play parties, consent culture, and power dynamics 49:30 Weird and wonderful jobs in the sexuality industry 51:00 Learning about sex through books and curiosity 54:00 Balancing multiple careers in sexuality work 58:30 Why asking for help matters

Whitaker Cohen is the Founder and CEO of Amore Sui, originally from the East Coast where despite having a mom who worked for Planned Parenthood she still received plenty of medical sex education without any lessons on pleasure.

We talk about terrible sex education, orgasm myths, squirting, consent, power dynamics, and how Whitaker went from a few bad anal experiences to launching a company designing beginner friendly butt plugs specifically for women.

Catch Whitaker and I reading Reddit stories and join the afterparty over on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Episode cheat sheet:

00:38 Meeting Whitaker Cohen 05:23 Growing up with Planned Parenthood sex education 09:55 Goal oriented sex vs pleasure 12:14 Squirting myths 16:59 What sex education actually teaches 19:23 The clitoris and missing research 24:07 The "blue balls" myth 28:38 Consent, fawning, and sexual assault 33:10 Power dynamics and sex 37:52 Discovering anal pleasure 40:03 Starting Amore Sui 44:28 Designing a beginner friendly butt plug 49:09 Why most butt plugs are badly designed 53:43 Launching a sex toy company 58:01 Reddit story teaser

Bonus stories found exclusively on Patreon:

STORY 1: I found my fiancés sex tape with my stepmother. We're supposed to get married in two weeks.

STORY 2: AITA for locking up my stuff so my wife will not touch it

Where to find Whitaker: Instagram: @loveamorsui Get 10% off your oder: https://loveamorsui.com/ARIELLE15

Where to find Arielle: Insta: @ariellezadok // @birdsandbeesdontfck TikTok: @ThePleasureProducer // @birdsandbeesdontfck

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Like my cuffs? Me too. Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle

CLICK HERE to access the full episode.

It's here! Our very first bonus episode of Birds & Bees Don't Read Reddit and I'm starting this adventure with none other than comedian Elisa Ellis who also happens to get the most unhinged versions of me in real life.

This episode is WILD ya'll. Here are the stories, only available on Patreon:

Story 1: I just found out that I'm a mistress...of 4 years. OMG. How do I tell her? 48M/36F

Story 2: My 43f husbands 46m affair partner 19f is pregnant doesn't know the baby's father and I don't know where to begin with fixing this

Story 3: AITA For suing my girlfriend after she had my 1967 impala project taken to the scrapyard? Honestly, this was one hell of a way to start.

Follow Elisa: On Instagram & TikTok @ElisaMcBear

Follow Me: On Instagram & TikTok @BirdsAndBeesDontFck and my personal Instagram @ArielleZadok

Love my Crave Cuffs? Use my link and get $15 off anything storewide: lovecrave.com/arielle

I ghosted, I know. And I'm sorry. So here's a little update on where things are at! Including me losing (for now) my primary instagram account @ariellezadok

Like, comment & subscribe if you're happy to hear me!

________________

Get your Backstage Pass and join the circle community: https://www.thepleasureproducer.com/backstagepass

Take the free masterclass, Pleasure on Purpose: https://www.thepleasureproducer.com/masterclass

Dive into The Sexy Directory: https://thesexydirectory.substack.com/

Follow me on instagram: @BirdsAndBeesDontFck // @ThePleasureProducer (at least these still exist... for now!)