Join us LIVE AT FIVE (PT) on YouTube for the watch party every Wednesday: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck

Joy Mamey is an actor, writer, comedian, cancer survivor, and improviser currently performing with Sunday Company at The Groundlings who grew up in Los Angeles where her sex ed teacher wouldn't answer her questions so she thought sex was basically naked kissing and that penises had bones.

In this episode we talk about the surprising overlap between improv and intimacy, why "yes and" can become a people-pleasing trap, and what happens when we're taught to ignore our instincts to make other people comfortable. Joy shares the sex education she never got, the question her sex ed teacher refused to answer, and why she genuinely thought penises had bones.

We also get into body autonomy, consent, patriarchy, impact versus intention, learning to say no, and the importance of listening when your body is trying to tell you something.

Hey, you too can Fck Like The Movies! https://www.rubyisland.media/course

Want more? Catch bonus Reddit story reactions, private chats and more on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Where to find Joy:

Instagram: @joymamey

Website: https://www.joymamey.com/

Where to find Arielle:

Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Bonus stories found exclusively on Patreon

• STORY 1: AITAH for ending a 4 year serious relationship without even a huge fight?
• STORY 2: My [M27] wife [F28] showed her friends our sex tapes
• STORY 3: AIO because my husband 'forgot' to tell me we'd be sharing a condo with his ex-wife during a family beach vacation?

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Episode Cheat Sheet

01:20 Meet Joy Mamey

02:45 The Groundlings, Second City & Improv Comedy

03:50 Why "Yes And" Can Become Toxic

06:50 Consent, Boundaries & Learning To Say No

08:00 What Improv Taught Us About Intimacy

12:45 Why Impact Matters More Than Intentions

18:00 Can Bad People Actually Change?

20:50 Psychopaths vs Sociopaths Explained

25:30 Power Dynamics, Comedy & Punching Down

30:15 Why Speaking Up During Sex Is So Hard

32:45 The Problem With People Pleasing In Bed

37:30 The Church Hug Joy Never Forgot

41:00 Why Patriarchy Hurts Men Too

45:45 Growing Up Without Sex Education

48:15 My Sex Ed Teacher Ignored My Question

49:45 "I Thought Penises Had Bones"

52:45 Why Porn Became Sex Education

55:00 Being Called "Exotic" As A Child

58:00 The Kinky Mind Meld Game

59:30 Why Improv Feels Like Great Sex

1:02:30 Patreon Reddit Story Preview

Join us LIVE AT FIVE (PT) on YouTube for the watch party every Wednesday: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck

Caitlin V is a sex and relationship coach, former sexuality researcher, author of Harder, Better, Longer, Stronger, and host of Good Sex on HBO Max from Michigan where her earliest sex education included a fifth-grade period lesson, a graphic STI scare slide in health class, and years of curiosity about pleasure that she had already discovered on her own.

In this episode we talk about what men actually want help with in their sex lives, why performance goals like "lasting longer" rarely solve the real problem, and how intimacy, not frequency, is what most couples are actually craving. Caitlin shares how she went from academic sex research at the Kinsey Institute to coaching men about sex and relationships, why maintenance sex can quietly kill desire, and how intention, presence, and curiosity can transform a sex life. We also get into astrology and sexual chemistry, loud sex and the connection between breath and orgasm, group dynamics in intimacy, why coaching spaces for men matter, and the surprising way Caitlin realized academia wasn't where she wanted to make her impact.

Caitlin and I are not fcking around with these Reddit stories. Join Patreon and dive in! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Where to find Caitlin:

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CaitlinV

Book (Harder, Better, Longer, Stronger): https://harderbook.com

Where to find Arielle:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/birdsandbeesdontfck

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Bonus stories found exclusively on Patreon;

STORY 1: I think my wife 31-F might be poisoning me 34-M, and I don't know what to do

STORY 2: I [28F] am dating a divorcing dad [34M] and it's starting to take over my life

STORY 3: My bf (M29) is threatening to break up with me (F24) over condoms

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Episode Cheat Sheet

02:14 Astrology, Sexual Chemistry & Scorpio/Leo Energy

06:03 Loud Sex, Breath & Orgasm Connection

08:15 Getting Caught Having Sex & Early Exploration

11:07 Claiming, Dominance & Sexual Identity

13:28 Science, Magic & Manifestation in Sex

16:12 Why Caitlin Coaches Men About Sex

19:02 Why Most Therapists Aren't Trained in Sexuality

21:36 Quality vs Quantity in Long-Term Sex

23:45 Why "Maintenance Sex" Kills Desire

26:04 Physical, Emotional & Spiritual Sex Explained

28:20 Co-Regulation, Group Energy & Intimacy

32:21 Why Male Friendship & Community Matter

36:54 Boundaries, Accountability & Relationship Conflict

45:33 Communication, Softening & Honest Feedback

46:58 Growing Up in Michigan & Early Sex Education

49:24 Masturbation, Pleasure & STI Fear-Based Education

52:05 Becoming a Sex Researcher at Kinsey Institute

56:12 Leaving Academia & Starting a Sex Education Platform

01:00:37 Coaching vs Influencing in Sex Education

01:02:50 Changing Career Paths & Following Your Zone of Genius

01:04:43 Patreon Reddit Stories Preview

It's 6/9 so we're publishing early! Plus if you're in Los Angeles, come with us... to Melrose Umbrella Co from 6-9p to celebrate!

Daddy Heff is a professional dominant, kink educator and master of the sensual art of impact play from Greensboro, North Carolina where his earliest sex education included school lessons on fallopian tubes, ovaries, sperm and semen, sneaking reads of his mom's risqué novels, flipping through Penthouse Forum stories, and asking a very uncomfortable teacher to explain anal sex after seeing it in a porn video.

In this episode we talk about the connection between moaning, safety and surrender, why BDSM often models communication better than vanilla relationships, and how Daddy Heff uses breath, heart space connection and energetic presence to help people fully let go. We also get into the difference between tops and doms, the importance of vetting and informed consent, how he discovered kink through a dominatrix in Germany, and the moment a birthday spanking turned into the start of his professional domination career. Plus: throat chakras, performance vs presence, why subs need education too, and what it actually takes to create trust inside a scene.

Want more? Check out my DIY course, Fck Like The Movies: https://www.rubyisland.media/course

_________________________________________________

Where to find Daddy Heff:

Instagram: @the_real_daddy_heff/

X: @daddy_heff

Where to find Arielle:

Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck

TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Like jewelry that'll make you cum? Me too! Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle

Episode Cheat Sheet

02:19 BDSM Negotiation, Limits & Scene Safety

04:27 Why Moaning Matters During Sex

07:35 Sexual Shame & Being Told to Stay Quiet

11:38 Nervous System & Relaxation Before Sex

18:10 Why Subs Need Education Too

22:14 The Dangers of Untrained BDSM Play

24:29 Presence, Performance & Energy in Kink

28:34 Dom vs Top & Sub vs Bottom Explained

34:10 Growing Up in Greensboro, NC & Early Sex Education

37:18 Discovering BDSM in Germany

41:49 Learning Impact Play & Finding a Mentor

44:38 The First Paid Domination Session

48:53 Heart Space Connection & Energetic Domination

53:13 Live Demo Stories & Orgasmic Spanking

57:10 Anal Play, Energy Work & Kink Healing

59:47 Teaching Men How to Be Better Dominants

01:03:06 Episode 69 on 6/9

Join us for the watch party on YouTube LIVE AT FIVE (PT) on episode release day: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck

Phil Morris is an actor best known as Jackie Chiles on Seinfeld and John Jones on Smallville who grew up in Los Angeles and Beverly Hills, where the closest thing to sex education was basic health class, a little anatomy, and figuring out the rest through growing up in Hollywood.

In this episode we talk about Good Vibes Breakfast Club, the beautiful way community can create space for men to be vulnerable, and why real connection so often happens when people drop the performance and just show up as themselves. Phil shares what it was like growing up in Beverly Hills as the son of original Mission: Impossible star Greg Morris, how early exposure to fame shaped the way he sees the world, and why curiosity, humility, and authenticity matter so much more than status. We also get into marriage, intimacy, what it actually takes to stay connected over decades, and Phil's simple but powerful advice to stay attractive, stay attracted, stay interesting, and stay interested.

Phil and I are getting real honest with Reddit stories. Join Patreon and dive in! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Get everything you need to Fck Like The Movies

_____________________________________________________________

Where to find Phil: Instagram: @thephilmorris

Where to find Arielle: Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck

TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Bonus stories found exclusively on Patreon

• STORY 1: AITA for ignoring my wife for throwing away my late wife video tapes?
• STORY 2: My 18M son says my brother's wife (30F) crossed boundaries with him and now my family says I'm overreacting (46F)
• STORY 3: Do I (F 26) tell my boyfriend (M 26) his ex cheated on him?

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Episode Cheat Sheet:

02:47 Good Vibes Breakfast Club, car culture, and finding community in Los Angeles 05:14 Male vulnerability, brotherhood, and emotional intimacy during the pandemic 07:39 Why real connection happens when people drop the filter 09:50 Community, commonality, and why we are more alike than we are different 12:10 Why big conversations happen best on a beautiful drive 14:30 Intimacy meetings, relationship check-ins, and how to communicate with your partner 16:54 Emotional intelligence, curiosity, and what makes relationships actually work 19:20 Marriage advice, acceptance, and why you cannot carry someone else's water 21:35 Stay attractive, stay attracted, stay interesting, stay interested 23:52 Novel thinking, personal growth, and accepting the peaks and valleys of life 26:13 Why relationships, friendships, and community all need curiosity and effort 28:28 Good Vibes, masculine friendship, and non-sexual touch between men 30:41 Growing up in Los Angeles and Beverly Hills as Greg Morris' son 31:42 Fame, Hollywood, Beverly Hills, and what Phil learned early about success 34:01 Black representation in Hollywood and being raised around groundbreaking artists 35:25 How community showed up in grief, loss, and the final days of a loved one 37:48 Grace, gratitude, and why pain does not have to define your story 40:05 Falling down, getting up, and deciding how to write your own life 42:27 Career pivots, producing, creativity, and doing the work that actually lights you up 44:48 Why Phil stopped hustling and started creating 47:13 Acting, storytelling, and what comic conventions reveal about human connection 49:40 Leadership, gender dynamics, and domestic labor in relationships 52:03 Growing up with basic sex education, Hollywood freedom, and getting married young 54:22 Marriage, desire, fidelity, and how to stay connected over time 56:43 Long-term relationships, teamwork, and the three energies inside a partnership 59:04 Relationship advice, acceptance, and what it means to stay on the same team

Justine Cross is a professional dominatrix, dungeon owner, educator, and sex worker advocate who grew up in the tri-state area where she actually received surprisingly comprehensive sex education growing up between private and public schools, something she credits with shaping how she thinks about sex, consent, and power dynamics today.

In this episode we talk about how someone becomes a professional dominatrix, what actually happens inside a BDSM dungeon, and why kink spaces are often far more structured, communicative, and consent-focused than most people expect. We also get into power dynamics, submission, community, play parties, and the difference between what people imagine BDSM is and what it actually looks like in real life.

Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 4p PT / 7p ET: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck

FCK LIKE THE MOVIES

_____________________________________________________________

You know Justine and I are not holding back on these Reddit stories. Join Patreon and dive in! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Where to find Justine: Instagram: @thejustinecross https://www.instagram.com/thejustinecross/

tiktok: @thejustinecross https://www.tiktok.com/@thejustinecross

x: @justineplays https://x.com/justineplays

Bluesky: @justineplays https://bsky.app/profile/justineplays.bsky.social

Fetlife: @justineplays https://fetlife.com/Justineplays

Website: www.LosAngelesDominatrix.com

Dungeon: www.stellaobscura.com

Where to find Arielle: Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck https://www.instagram.com/birdsandbeesdontfck

TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck https://www.tiktok.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Bonus stories found exclusively on Patreon

• STORY 1: Younger sister is a tradwife and I secretly set up an investment account in case she needs to leave her husband. Do I tell her?
• STORY 2: Am I the jerk for sleeping with my colleague after my husband left me?

Like my cuffs AND my vibrator necklace? Me too. Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle

Episode Cheat Sheet

02:18 Growing up in the tri-state area with surprisingly comprehensive sex education 05:07 Early ideas about sex, consent, and communication 08:36 How Justine became a professional dominatrix 12:11 What actually happens inside a professional BDSM dungeon 15:42 Negotiation, boundaries, and why kink requires clear consent 19:55 The psychology of domination and submission 24:18 Why people are drawn to power dynamics and BDSM 28:43 Debunking myths about dominatrices and kink culture 32:27 The difference between fantasy kink and real BDSM practice 37:06 Community, play parties, and finding kink-friendly spaces 41:15 Running a dungeon and the logistics behind the scenes 46:02 Why BDSM spaces can feel safer than mainstream dating culture 50:18 Humor, curiosity, and why kink doesn't have to be dark or scary 55:31 What people misunderstand most about BDSM and domination

Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 5p PT / 8p ET: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck

Nicole Jardim is a certified women's health coach, author of Fix Your Period, and founder of the Institute for Menstrual Health originally from Antigua where the closest thing to sex education was mostly silence… leaving her to figure out hormones, cycles, and menstrual health the hard way before eventually dedicating her career to helping other women do the same.

In this episode we talk about Nicole and I's shared history working in television production, how burnout and health challenges led her to leave the entertainment industry, and the path that eventually led her into women's health. We get into hormones, birth control, cycle literacy, and why so many women grow up completely disconnected from what their bodies are actually doing. Nicole explains why doctors often prescribe the pill as a quick fix instead of addressing root causes, how women are frequently dismissed when advocating for their health, and why learning to understand your cycle can change the way you approach energy, relationships, sex, and overall wellbeing.

Want more? Catch bonus Reddit story reactions, private chats and more on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

FCK LIKE THE MOVIES

_________________________________________________

Where to find Nicole:

Website - https://nicolejardim.com/

Nicole's Membership - The Fix Your Period Collective https://www.fixyourperiod.com/

Nicole's Practitioner Program - https://instituteformenstrualhealth.com/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/nicolemjardim/

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/nicolemjardim/

Where to find Arielle: Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Love jewelry that doubles as a vibrator? Me too! Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle

——————————————————————————————

Episode Cheat Sheet

02:33 Growing up without real sex education and how women learn about their bodies 04:58 Working in television production and how Nicole and Arielle originally met 07:23 The birth control pill and why it's prescribed for almost every period problem 08:38 Hormones, birth control, and the unexpected ways they can affect your body 13:31 Coming off hormonal birth control and noticing changes in mood, health, and cycles 16:58 Burnout, leaving the entertainment industry, and pivoting into women's health 18:17 Why birth control became the default medical solution for women's health issues 22:04 Learning body literacy and understanding what your hormones are actually doing 24:42 Menstrual cycle literacy and why most people don't understand ovulation 28:36 Fertility awareness and why cycle tracking can change how you approach health 31:16 Cultural messaging that teaches women their bodies are a problem 36:50 Why partners should understand menstrual cycles and hormonal changes 40:57 Advocating for yourself in medical settings when doctors dismiss symptoms 44:05 Training practitioners and teaching menstrual health and hormone literacy 48:12 Understanding energy, sex drive, and mood changes across the menstrual cycle 52:36 Becoming a "period detective" and learning what your cycle is telling you 56:47 What heavy bleeding and painful periods might actually mean 58:23 Women bleeding for months and being told it's normal 59:42 Severe period pain, ER visits, and why doctors often dismiss menstrual symptoms 01:00:48 Heavy bleeding, IUDs, and when medical solutions miss the real problem

Erica Smith is an award-winning sexuality educator, advocate, and author from rural Pennsylvania, where she grew up casually Christian, went to public school, learned sex ed from a gym teacher, and somehow became the most responsible teenage sexual health nerd with birth control, condoms, spermicide, and library books before having sex for the first time.

In this episode we talk about purity culture, religious sexual shame, high-control groups, Christian nationalism, marital consent, "duty sex," the pressure placed on both women and men in evangelical purity teachings, and why healing from purity culture is not just about learning sex ed, but reconnecting to your body, your signals, your autonomy, and your right to desire without fear.

Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 5p PT / 8p ET: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck

Want to hear Reddit stories? Join the afterparty over on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

FCK LIKE THE MOVIES

Where to find Erica: Website: https://www.purityculturedropout.com Instagram / Threads: @ericasmitheducates Book: The Purity Culture Recovery Guide: Shame-Free Sex Ed You Deserve

Where to find Arielle: Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck

Patreon:https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Like my cuffs AND my vibrator necklace? Me too. Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle

Episode Cheat Sheet

00:37 Why purity culture impacts everyone regardless of religious upbringing

02:01 Reclaiming spiritual language, God, universe, source, and finding meaning outside of shame

03:35 Erica's rural Pennsylvania upbringing and not coming from purity culture or evangelical Christianity

06:52 Conservative Judaism, kosher, Shabbat, fear of God, and the god of religious sexual shame

10:13 Why controlling sex is the central power tool in high-control groups and cults 13:15 Twin Flames, New Age purity culture, divine feminine and masculine, and forced relationship roles

15:11 Non-monogamy, the one-person mythology, and not knowing ethical non-monogamy was an option

18:22 The pressure on children to save souls and why evangelical recruitment causes anxiety

20:15 AIDS education, high school sex ed, birth control, Cosmo handouts, and a raw egg as a fake baby

23:35 Family planning at 16, condoms, spermicide, Planned Parenthood, teen pregnancy, and pre-internet sex ed

26:03 Curiosity as the common thread among sex educators and talking explicitly with friends about sex

30:26 From women's studies to abortion clinic counselor, September 11th, anti-abortion terrorism, and fake anthrax

33:46 Seventeen years doing sex ed and HIV prevention with incarcerated youth in Philadelphia juvenile detention

35:09 Exvangelicals, deconstruction, the 2016 election, and the mass exodus from evangelical Christianity

39:28 Wedding night trauma, the flip-the-switch expectation, marital rape, duty sex, and long-term sexual dysfunction

43:09 Consent in marriage, the every-72-hours myth, Christian patriarchy, and denying women the right to say no

46:14 Rape culture, dissociation, blaming wives for husbands cheating, and the harm purity culture does to men

48:41 Duty sex, maintenance sex, intimacy dates, responsive desire, and why sex should never be expected

50:06 Men in purity culture, being taught you are a sex demon, bounce your eyes, and associating desire with disrespect

53:01 How purity culture silences body signals around consent, danger, hunger, and attraction — and somatic healing

56:08 Why purity culture is not a thing of the past, Christian nationalism, fascism, voting, and bodily autonomy

01:01:07 Where to find Erica Smith, The Purity Culture Recovery Guide, and purity culture recovery support groups

Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 5p PT / 8p ET: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck

Alex Gay is a certified intimacy and relationship coach and adult performer from Maryland, where his sex education came from homeschooling, evangelical purity culture, and two conversations with his dad that left him wondering if condoms were worth trading for Cheetos.

In this episode we talk about growing up in a religious high-control group, shame as a clue to desire, what kink actually means, why so many men are expected to magically know how to be good in bed, and how Alex went from purity culture to helping queer people, couples, and curious adults feel more confident exploring sex, intimacy, kink, and their own bodies.

Want to hear Alex and I unfiltered reading Reddit stories? Join the afterparty over on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

FCK LIKE THE MOVIES

Where to find Alex: Instagram: @heyalexgay

TikTok: @heyalexgay

Website: https://heyalexgay.com/

Where to find Arielle: Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck

TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Bonus stories found exclusively on Patreon

• STORY 1: Am I the Asshole for Breaking Up With My Girlfriend After She Wanted Our Relationship to Be Pussy Free?
• STORY 2: My Husband Needs to Touch My Breasts to Fall Asleep. I'm Exhausted and Need a Divorce. Am I the Asshole?
• STORY 3: Am I the Asshole for Breaking Up With My Girlfriend Because She Literally Told Me She Would Cheat on Me If I Took a New Job?

Like my cuffs AND my vibrator necklace? Me too. Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle

Episode Cheat Sheet

00:00 Meet Alex Gay, certified intimacy coach and adult performer

02:23 Adult entertainment, OnlyFans, and why spicy content builds coaching trust 04:48 Coaching sexual confidence, kink, communication, and why sex education is lifelong

05:30 The pressure on cis straight men to magically know how to be good in bed 07:01 Why "normal" does not exist when it comes to sex, bodies, and kink

08:10 Shame as a clue to desire and how taboo shapes what turns us on

10:20 Growing up in Maryland inside an evangelical high-control group

11:44 Homeschool sex ed, Christian sex books, condoms, and the Cheeto trade

16:17 Sleepovers, curiosity, and why honest sex education changes everything

19:30 Boy moms vs. moms who have boys and the emotional weight placed on sons 22:00 Leaving religion, hitting rock bottom, and finding inherent self-worth

25:16 Men's mental health, masculinity, and why 60 men die by suicide every hour 29:28 Queer sex education, coaching, and what gay male coaches bring to the table 31:46 Play parties, group scenes, body confidence, ethical porn, and real naked bodies

38:25 Alex's first OnlyFans videos, strip interviews, and modeling non-sexual intimacy 44:00 Course creation, ADHD, and why the labor of pleasure cannot be on your partner

49:21 Coaching couples, high-mileage questions, and becoming your own sex detective

56:32 Dr. Tush aftercare products, butt play recovery, and kink aftercare

01:00:00 Bonus Reddit stories and where to find Alex Gay

Reuben Johnson is one half of FlyDuo, a husband-and-wife team behind the pleasure-forward platform SexTech n' Chill, originally from the suburbs of Boston where growing up in a strict religious environment meant sex education was mostly abstinence, shame and silence.

In this episode we talk about purity culture, abstinence-only sex education and how religious messaging around sex can leave people completely unprepared for real intimacy. We get into the science behind pleasure, why nervous system regulation matters in the bedroom, the myth of "think about baseball" when people struggle with performance anxiety, and how honest conversations about sex can actually help protect people from harm. We also talk about building a pleasure-centered relationship, the work Reuben and his wife are doing with SexTech n' Chill, and why comprehensive sex education is still so controversial in the United States.

Want more? Catch bonus Reddit story reactions, private chats and more on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Get my Yes / No / Maybe List or Fck Like The Movies full course

_________________________________________________

Where to find Reuben:

SexTech n' Chill: https://sextechnchill.com

FlyDuo: https://xoflyduo.com

Instagram: @sextechnchill

YouTube: @SexTechNChill

Where to find Arielle: Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 5p PT / 8p ET: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck

Love jewelry that doubles as a vibrator? Me too! Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle

Episode Cheat Sheet

02:10 Museum of Sex panel and meeting other sex educators 04:02 Consent, body language and what animals teach us about boundaries 08:36 Trauma responses, fawning and reading nonverbal cues 11:05 Nervous system regulation, anxiety and grounding techniques 15:02 Communication, emotional safety and better sex 19:11 Performance anxiety and why "think about baseball" is terrible sex advice 22:05 Vulnerability, trust and sexual confidence in relationships 24:40 Growing up in Boston and avoiding sex education conversations 26:40 Religious purity culture and sexual shame 29:10 The first real sex education class in high school 31:03 Condoms, lube and the basics abstinence-only programs skip 33:28 Why abstinence-only sex education leaves people unprepared 34:15 Dr. Joycelyn Elders and the fight for comprehensive sex education 36:01 Why pleasure and eroticism challenge systems of control 41:00 Social media censorship and the fight for online sex education 46:54 Porn history, kink and the evolution of sexuality 52:20 Wedding night sex after purity culture 55:50 Building Sex Tech & Chill and pleasure-centered relationships

Join the live watch party on YouTube today, episode release day, at 5p PT / 8p ET: https://www.youtube.com/@birdsandbeesdontfck

Ginger Koehler is a sex educator, columnist and speaker from the Midwest where her earliest "sex talk" happened over mac and cheese at a McAlister's… and ended with her bursting into tears when her mom explained what a period was.

In this episode we talk about what it actually means to study sex academically, why people confidently give terrible sex advice online, and the moment Ginger realized she wanted to build a career translating complex sex science into language normal humans can understand. We also get into missionary position myths, writing about sex for a living, and why curiosity might be the most important sexual skill anyone can have.

Want more? Catch bonus Reddit story reactions, private chats and more on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Get my Yes / No / Maybe List

_________________________________________________

Where to find Ginger: Instagram: @gingerr_and_spice

Ginger & Spice Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/7f6vAvxqI2aexnSCc32FVT?si=17bfdfc63cbd4df0

Substack: https://gingerkoehler.substack.com/

Where to find Arielle: Instagram: @birdsandbeesdontfck TikTok: @birdsandbeesdontfck

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cw/birdsandbeesdontfck

Like spicy jewelry? Me too! Get $15 Off Crave Pleasure Jewelry Here: https://lovecrave.com/arielle

Episode Cheat Sheet

02:51 How Ginger became a sex educator and sex columnist 04:28 Studying sexuality academically vs learning from experience 06:24 "I need you to say blue balls" and translating sex science into normal language 09:43 Epididymal hypertension vs "blue balls" and sexual slang explained 12:08 Why bad sex advice spreads so easily online 14:12 Sex myths people still believe about bodies and pleasure 18:04 Missionary position myths and why "boring" sex positions can actually be great 21:10 How sexual expectations shape dating and relationships 23:10 Writing about sex vs talking about sex publicly 27:28 Thoughtful sex vs performative sex culture 31:44 The moment Ginger decided to study sexuality academically 35:21 Getting the "period talk" over mac and cheese at McAlister's 38:47 Growing up shy about sex and becoming a public sex educator 41:09 Why comprehensive sex education still scares people 45:07 What comprehensive sex education actually teaches 49:12 Why curiosity is the most underrated sexual skill 52:38 What age-appropriate sex education really means