It’s finally here: the very first Very Special Episode of the Bloodsucking Feminists! So throw your hands up in the air, wave them around like you just don’t care, and join us for some seriously bloodsucking feminist critique.

Title: Rock Your Undead Body

How many times can you hear Ceilidh say “American Exceptionalism”? You’re about to find out, as the Bloodsucking Feminists discuss the rise of the Old West and Hollywood, the rape revenge fantasy (and why it’s always written by men and in the same way), lament women not being friends, and debate a new breed of vampire and how that plays into vampiric tropes.

Also, Catherine just wants some candy, [expletive].

Title: I’m Afraid of American Vampires

Everyone loves an origin story, right? Not the Bloodsucking Feminists, who in this case firmly believe that this is one origin story that should have remained untold.

Be prepared for more talk about the Universal Monsters and the upcoming reboot (and how Dracula Untold failed to be a part of the latest attempt), how the film missed both opportunities in using the life of Vlad Tepes as well as basic historical facts, and the large percentage of white people in the film. And brownface, just to top things off.

If you need us, we’ll be in a cave with vampire Charles Dance, pretending we never watched this film.

Title: Franchise Bait

Fifteen years before Twilight, twelve years before The Moth Diaries, six years before Secret Vampire and the year before the first Vampire Diaries book, Annette Curtis Klause published her first novel about a girl struggling to deal with her mother’s impending death from cancer… when she meets a vampire. Forgotten by many YA readers, The Silver Kiss has more in common with earlier gothic works than the vampire craze that would come years later – and a devastating finale that earns its place in the Bloodsucking Feminists recommended reads.

Be sure to bring your tissues, because if nothing else your normally cynical podcasters have run out.

Title: We Legit Cried

Last episode had us watch Kate Beckinsale in the role of the love interest then complain about what Universal is doing with their monster franchise. In this episode we watch Kate Beckinsale in the role of protagonist, then complain about what Universal is doing with their monster franchise… just a little less.

So join us as we appreciate a vampire story based in science, lament that that awesome basis is used for a flimsy story, and reunite with actors from not one but three previous Bloodsucking Feminists episodes. Also, we say the words “stretchy stretchy catsuit” far too many times, and realise just how low we have set the bar for what makes an “enjoyable” vampire movie.

Title: PVC Gone Mad

Some vampire movies are thoughtful, compelling, and faithful adaptations. Others have Hugh Jackman with really luscious hair. And do we really have a problem with that?

So join us for a monster mash of a fun afternoon, as we discuss who knows what kind of movie they are in (hint: not Hugh Jackman), a paternal Dracula, and a rebooted Universal Monsters expanded universe. On the side that requires more brain power, it’s women being denied starring in their own story, use of a word that shouldn’t be used

Bonus feature! We complain about how every movie is part of a franchise or expanded universe now. We complain a lot.

Title: Werewolverine

One year ago we did our first episode in the Twilight series, and this Halloween the scariest thing we’ve faced has been New Moon. That means you too can suffer along with us as we look back on the book after several years of ignoring it – a book, we discover, replaces the heightened longing of the first book with the scent of contractual obligation.

In this episode we discuss gaslighting and other elements of emotional abuse, the introduction and portrayal of the werewolves, silly things that think they are plots, how on earth could a book be all set-up, and sparkles. And as an added bonus, plenty of jokes about werewolf puberty.

Title: What. The. Sparkle.

Way back in our ninth episode we looked at Interview With The Vampire; now in episode 17 we take a look at his second, more recent vampire film, Byzantium. It’s another course of a toxic, obssessive relationship between two vampires, only this one comes with a mother/child relationships and an examination of vampire society that truly is the upper class feeding on those below.

Instead of an eternity of beauty and wealth, Byzantium is a story about women, survival, and the need to know and tell your own story.

Title: The Immortal Profession

Remember our sixth episode, Vampire Musicals Suck, about the German-language vampire musical Tanz der Vampire? Well nearly a year later we’re back on the topic of vampire musicals – and the ones that truly, dreadfully do suck.

From a flop hit about Dracula by the master of public domain flop hit musicals, to a small chamber musical which does the job a lot better but very few people have seen (at least, we don’t think you will), to what should have been a great hit – after all, it had all the right things, including a Bloodsucking Feminist fave who’d eventually play five vampires across three musicals – the BSF learn and discuss what does not make a good vampire musical.

And, of course, we discuss our excitement for the True Blood musical, and how it could not make the mistakes others have made.

(Apologies for the audio issues: we had some technical problems, and Catherine had trouble breathing due to a cold.)

Title: Drew Blood

In the film industry, adaptations of Bram Stoker’s famous novel are especially popular. To the dedicated fangs, these adaptations can be split into three separate but equally important groups: the good, the bad, and the so-bad-it’s-good.

Dracula 2000 falls into the last.

Grab your leather, open up IMDB (because you’ve seen that actor somewhere, you just know it), and blast the nu-metal as you join us for a movie that decided casting a pale Scottish man as a Middle-Eastern man was a good idea. Also bring the alcohol, because it’s that sort of movie.

(Bonus thanks to Lady Gaga)

Title: Getting Biblical

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