Body Counts And Beer

BOO! Scared you, didn't we? It's (almost) time for Halloween, so this week we watched the most spook-tacular action film we could think of: HELLBOY 2: THE GOLDEN ARMY! You'll never forget it's name, as we spend a vast majority of this episode yelling it out loud!

Follow us under a bridge into the Troll Market of Podcasts, where everything must go! Once again, Mark is sexually aroused by Popeye's! The Horrors of School Issued Parachutes! Jon reveals his CB handle! Harsh words for Eli Manning and harsher words for Jeffrey Tambor! Once again, WKRP in Cincinnati threatens to end our podcast! Plus, a series of ABSOLUTELY PERFECT Orson Welles impressions!

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite meat substitute, your feelings on bass guitar solos, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

For this week's (not so) minisode, we step WAY OUT OF BOUNDS and try something we've never done before: a playthrough of a teaser for a video game that will never be released. We navigate the inscrutable logic puzzles and spooky scares of the Hideo Kojima/Guillermo Del Toro co-joint PT!

PS - If this episode sounds weird, it is because it was 1) recorded in the Rooney Taylor Stronghold and not in the Beat Delicatessen as per usual and 2) Mark's headphones broke and he's too cheap to buy new ones and he "mastered" this thing using a fuzzed out soundbar. Sorry!

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Dip your clarinet reeds into some Tequila and Schweppe's and get overly familiar with the Thompson/Center Arms Contender! This week, we're discussing John Woo's 1992 ballet of bullets HARD BOILED! Spoilers: there are no eggs in this movie.

Listen in as we: Coin the sexual euphemism "goo goos!" We ask that age old question: Ever Smell a Bird? Mark gets aroused by Jack in the Box! Patrick extols the virtue of Karo syrup on hot dogs! Jon receives an education in mid-90's Alt-Rock! We reminisce about beverages of old! PLUS: we still don't know what the Brits mean when they say "pudding."

Sorry for the harsh edit points. We kept hearing noises and thought it was Mark's wife coming home.

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite root vegetables for stew, your least favorite celebrity memoir, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

I'm your best friend. LOOK OVER THERE! Now I'm your worst enemy. This week, we're discussing our FAVORITE DOUBLE AGENTS (kinda)! All dirty cops, reverse spies, undercover operatives and everything in between is fair game this time around!

Listen in as we discuss all manner of sneaky sneakerage: Patrick has harsh words for Ethan Hawke! We detail how to frame Chester Cheetah! Massive spoilers for He Got Game! Too many Boston accents! Mark eats candy corn, and you hear EVERYTHING!

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Dust off your old letterman jacket, make like Ozzy Osbourne and bark at the moon! This week, for no good reason, we're discussing the 1985 Michael J. Fox classic TEEN WOLF!

Listen in on our deepest, darkest secrets regarding wolves that are in their formative years, including: Harsh words for David Foster Wallace! We name America's Favorite Fox! Harsh words for David Mamet! An appreciation for Gravedigger, King of the Monster Trucks! Harsh words for Neil Labute! Mark and Patrick get way too sexual over melons! Harsh words for MTV's Teen Wolf TV show! Our newest billion dollar idea: Bowl-A-Ramen!

Plus, stick around after the credits to hear our lovely parody song "Teen Wolves of Beacon Town!" Follow along with the lyrics below!

I saw a Teen Wolf with a bucket of paint in his hand

Walking through the streets of Beacon Town in the rain

He was looking for the theatre at Beacon Town High

Gonna build a set for a civil war play

Aghooooo

Teen Wolves of Beacon Town X2

Aghooooo

You see him dribbling, going up and down the floor

You better not box him in

Mick and Dragons got annihilated late last night

Teen Wolves of Beacon Town again

Aghooooo

Teen Wolves of Beacon Town X2

Aghooooo

He's the hairy handed man, who surfs upon his van

Lately he's been selling t-shirts with his own face on 'em

You better stay away, bub

He'll steal the ball from you, Chubbs

I'd like to meet his best friend Styles

Aghooooo

Teen Wolves of Beacon Town X2

Aghooooo

Well I saw Michael J. Fox walking with the prez,

Doing the Teen Wolves of Beacon Town

I saw Jason Bateman walking with the prez,

Doing the Teen Wolf too of Beacon Town

I saw a Stiles wearing a shirt that said "what are you looking at dick nose" at Trader Vic's

His sunglasses were perfect

DIP!

Aghooooo

Teen Wolves of Beacon Town X2

Aghooooo

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JON ROONEY IS DEAD. LONG LIVE JON ROONEY. KNEEL BEFORE JON ROONEY TAYLOR.

We're taking this week off to prepare for the impending nuptials of co-host Jon (for now) Rooney, but we didn't want to leave you high and dry without that sweet sweet content. As such, please enjoy the very first installment of co-host Mark's brand spankin' new podcast PEOPLE YOU KNOW, STORIES YOU DON'T!

Within these hallowed digital halls, you'll learn all sorts of crazy things: what this podcast is about, what Mark thinks voice actors sound like, what happens when Mark makes a predictable joke, and some predictable jokes! Now available on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts from!

You can learn more about PEOPLE YOU KNOW, STORIES YOU DON'T at: facebook.com/peoplestoriespodcast or follow it on Twitter: https://twitter.com/peopleyoupod

We'll be back next week!

This week's episode was sculpted from clay and brought to life by Casticles, the Greek demigod of digital audio media! Get comfy in your invisible jet as we discuss the crown jewel of the DCEU: WONDER WOMAN!

Who could be more qualified to discuss the tale of Diana Prince than three white males with beards? LITERALLY ANYBODY ELSE. And yet, here we are: Mark once again needs Super Smash Bros. explained to him! We do our best to insert Poison lyrics into the proceedings, and fail! We invent a new game: Are These Supposed To Be Nazis? Why DOES Diana have so many skulls in her office? Also, stay tuned for the worst Depeche Mode impression in Depeche History!

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite female superhero, your least favorite deli meat, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

For this week's minisode, we take a moment to celebrate the ass-kickingest, butt-whuppingest, keister-punchingest women the film world has ever seen! We're talking about our FAVORITE FEMALE ACTION HEROES!

Listen in as we cover everything and anything related to women in action: Harsh words for J.D. Salinger right up top! MAJOR SPOILERS FOR GAME OF THRONES! Jon takes a controversial stance against war profiteers! We declare Ellen Ripley the true basketball GOAT! So many honorable mentions, and we still miss some (we're sorry!)! And of course: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR BATTLESTAR GALACTICA!

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite female action star, your favorite flavor of Pop Tart, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

Listen here you dagblasted varmints! This week, we slipping on our spurs and hitchin' a ride on our time horsies back to Rutherford B. Hayes Times to discuss the 1988 nü-western YOUNG GUNS!

Join us as we picaresque our way through this barely-a-film: we discover we're wearing matching shorts! The terrifying truth about the Winchester House! The ethics of sex robots! Mark loves BTO! A lesson in tuberculosis! Jack Valenti drops by! Plus, we pitch our new film: The Rowlf of Wall Street!

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite honey roasted legume, your preferred beet topping, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

This week, we're finally caving into the demand Mark has made since Day 1: discussing our FAVORITE MOVIE JAMS! That's right, we're naming our favorite songs used to score the montages/credits/moments of emotional torment in film history.

Keep an ear open as we cover everything under the musical sun: the musical evolution of Kenny Loggins! An elegy for Showbiz Pizza! Mark confuses American Bandstand for Solid Gold! MAJOR TWIN PEAKS: THE RETURN SPOILERS! Patrick Bromley has harsh words for Toronto! More! And then some! Etc!

Here's some easy links to some of the songs/videos we discuss in the episode:

https://tinyurl.com/phhvlqt - "Maniac" by Michael Sembello

https://tinyurl.com/k9e8zgd - "No Easy Way Out" by Robert Tepper

https://tinyurl.com/oxqc3rs - "Highway to the Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins

https://tinyurl.com/4myc7j7 - Kiss From A Rose" by Seal

https://tinyurl.com/kj8q7nj - "I'm Afraid of Americans" by David Bowie

https://tinyurl.com/y78hgwcf - "Partyman" by Prince

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite "Win A Lifetime Supply Of..." contest, you least favorite flavor of Powerade, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!