Body Counts And Beer

PEW PEW! It has been a crazy time in the Body Counts and Beer offices, but we've FINALLY made it out of the morass of technical difficulties! Join us this week as we finally catch up (until Solo comes out) with the Star Wars Saga as we discuss THE LAST JEDI!

In this mega-sized episode, we cover just about everything! How much everything? Enough everything that it would be almost impossible to explain it in pithy podcast description! Prepare for the worst British accents, the return of Best Weapon, Mark's wife coming home with a bucket, and so much more!

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, the location of your cache of precious gemstones, your favorite horse shampoo, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

After a long layoff brought upon us by Mark's complete technical ineptitude, we have returned with all new glorious original content! This week, we're discussing our FAVORITE DIVISIVE MOVIES! Why? Because next week we're talking about a certain war among the stars that has panties in a bundle worldwide for no apparent reason.

Listen in as we do our best to not scream at each other over our terrible choice of films: Jon goes to bat for an updated 50s B-movie, Patrick goes to bat for the second most boring Star Trek, and Mark goes to bat for a movie that was almost universally hated upon release, and now is considered part of comedy canon. Also: jokes.

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, what kind of technical error Mark made to delay things for three weeks, how Mark should be punished for delaying things for three weeks, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

PEW PEW! In a shocking turn of events, a new Star Wars movie has hit the theaters. In an even shockinger turn of events, we're capitalizing on it by talking about 2016's ROGUE ONE! In the shockingerest turn of events, we're still three weeks late!

Sit back, crack open a can of blue milk, and listen as we discuss almost everything BUT Star Wars: Mark educates the guys on the finer points of Perfect Strangers! None of know the British definition of pudding, and it makes us mad! Another installment of the Jon Rooney Prequels Minute! We take turns degrading space! HUTTS AREN'T PEOPLE! And turns out the dying words of Galen Erso are just Life Pro Tips for the kitchen. BONUS: Star Wars architects love deep, hard shafts.

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your most beloved childhood toy, a handy way to salvage broken jewelry, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

Gather ye round, and I shall tell ye a tale. A tale of three idiots mumbling around yon microphone. And what is it they mumble about? Why, their FAVORITE WAR MOVIE of course! Why didn't this opening have anything to do with war movies? Good question!

Listen in as the guys cover some, if not all, bases when it comes to military cinema: Patrick can't believe nobody chose any of the Underworld films! Mark probably owns a copy of the Dracula 2000 soundtrack! Jon can conjured into existence a la Beetlejuice! Also, definitive evidence that Sean Connery does NOT play Ivan Drago is Hunt for Red October.

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your preferred cake frosting, your least favorite Emerson, Lake and Palmer album, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

Merry Christmas! We watched John McTiernan's Beowulf ripoff THE 13TH WARRIOR! Does this have anything to do with Christmas? No! Did we not realize that until this very moment? You bet!

Listen closely as we BLAZE through this dreary dump fest: Jon angrily decries the lack of Gungans! Arnold Schwarzenegger audio commentary for all movies! The lackluster return of Favorite Mall Restaurants! Mark mistakes Hair Metal for Satanic Panic Metal! We introduce our spinoff podcast Drinky Drinky Blow Bang! Arnold Schwarzenegger describes the act of making love!

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite baked potato topping, your side in the eternal war between Merry Melodies V. Silly Symphonies, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

The sounds presented within this minisode represent the cracking of already fragile psyches. What began as a simple exercise in choosing our FAVORITE BEER became a journey into the Mouth of Madness. Do we even mention our FAVORITE BEER? Sort of...

Listen closely my brave compatriots, for we cover so much more than just our favorite yeast/malt/barley/hops/water beverages. For example: Mark angers his wife by damaging the coffee table! Our Favorite David Lynch Movies! We anxiously await our future spinoff Jon Fights Fans! Our Favorite Smash Mouth Songs! Mark judges books based on the number of Patrick Stewarts they have! Our Favorite Huey Lewis Songs! We welcome back previous guests Julia Rigby (Predator) and Dee Amaral (Rambo III)! Our Favorite Bands That We Love and All Our Friends Hate! Alternate timeline versions of Ed Kowalczyk, lead singer of Live! And our Favorite Jon Rooney!

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your Favorite Beer, your Favorite Jon Rooney, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

COOOOOOBRAAAAAAA!!! No, we're not discussing anything even tangentially related to GI Joe. Instead, we're taking on the 1986 Stallone shoot 'em up COBRA! So why did we yell "COOOOOOBRAAAAAA!!!" when we're not talking about GI Joe? Don't worry about it!

Listen as Jon unleashes his Robert Smith/Morrissey theory! Mark loves quinceaneras! We take a brief moment to crap all over Gilbert & Sullivan! The best Neil Young reference ever! We give you the best tips to succeed on Supermarket Sweep! And BREAKING NEWS: almost everyone is in The Love Guru!

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your preferred brand of Rye the whiskey, your preferred brand of Rye the bread, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

You have the right to remain AWESOME! This week, our three lovable idiots return from their respective Thanksgiving food comas to celebrate the boys who sometimes wear blue! That's right, this week we're discussing our FAVORITE MOVIE COPS!

Listen as we weave our patented narratives of pop culture references and digressive behavior around the Legend of Billy Shats! Mark once again goes to bat for "The Grinder!" For the second consecutive minisode, Jon goes full-on Three Flavours Cornetto! Patrick waxes philosophical about Lorenzo Lamas! STEVE MILLER! And, as per usual, MAJOR SPOILERS for Fargo: The TV Show!

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your thoughts on white after Labor Day, where you land on Coffee V. Tea: Dawn of Justice, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

GIANT MONSTERS! GIANT ROBOTS! OTHER STUFF! This week, we're entering the Drift with 2013's PACIFIC RIM! Usually we'd put another joke or something here, but hey: GIANT MONSTERS VS. GIANT ROBOTS!!!

Jon names his three favorite ocean parts! We cover the scriptwriting process of Guillermo Del Toro! A discussion of all the walls and their respective effectivenesses! More of Jon Rooney's patented A/V component talk! MULTIPLE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES RESULTING IN HARSH CUTS AND OCCASIONAL MUSICAL INTERLUDES! Mark finally debuts his amazing Winston Churchill impression! Another guest appearance by BCAB All-Star Dee Amaral!

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your personal mantra, your Least Favorite Bruce Willis Seagram's commercial, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate...our FAVORITE ALIEN INVASION! That's right, since we're talking about PACIFIC RIM next week, and we've already done Giant Monsters and Robots, we're discussing our Favorite Incursions by Extraterrestrial Beings!

Patrick goes old school! Jon goes new school! Mark lands somewhere between, which is middle school we guess? Along the way, we wonder why Elijah Wood made "The Good Son," the glory of having two Jack Nicholsons, and a Donald Sutherland impression so powerful Kiefer came to the studio to ask to borrow the car!

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Follow us on Twitter: twitter.com/BodyCountCast

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite artisanal coffee shoppe, your preferred spelling of the word "shoppe," what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!