Body Counts And Beer

Just in time to be several days late for Halloween, it's the conclusion of our sPoOoOoOkY lineup of "action" films! We're closing out the season of ghouls and ghosts with NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS! Instead, we're taking a look at the 1986 Stephen King gem MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!

There's so much to talk about, we probably missed some stuff, but here's what we didn't miss: Mark discusses his only trip to a strip club, Patrick's undying love for Carl Buddig lunch meats, WE MADE YOU!, the glory of AC/DC, a dissection of curse words, MORE WE MADE YOU!, some part of this dumb movie, and the blessed return of WAR CRIMES!

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Let us know what you liked, what you disliked, what made you several centimeters taller, your favorite loaf-based lunch meat, or what movie to watch next!

We did it! The glass ceiling on typical minisodes has been shattered! Instead of discussing something tangentially related to our full episode next week, we're discussing something CLOSELY related to our full episode next week. Join us as we review the BATSHIT INSANE trailer for Steven King's MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE!

How do we stretch a review of a two minute trailer to fifteen minutes? Glad you asked! A brief discussion of Guns 'N Roses leads to Patrick revealing his bias against fondant! We offer terrible and unsolicited dating advice! We spend an inordinate amount of time discussing the IMDb of Mark Hamill! Then we FINALLY BEGIN! PLUS: An ominous portent of things to befall Jon Rooney!

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, the color of your favorite socks, your thoughts on the eternal war between mayo and Miracle Whip, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

HAPPY (almost) HALLOWEEN and more importantly: WE'RE SORRY! This week, we're discussing the 2004 "movie" VAMPIRES VS. ZOMBIES (also known as CARMILLA, THE LESBIAN VAMPIRE), a "film" that is basically impossible to find without streaming it illegally or paying the director a large sum of money. Why are we doing this? Because Jon made us, that's why!

This movie keeps introducing subplots up until the one hour mark! As such, we start with all the terrible reviews and go downhill from there: the General's Elbow of Justice! A reenactment of Francis Ford Coppola making Sofia star in Godfather III! SO MANY DUMB ACCENTS! Schrob Rombie vs. Ron Zombie! One of the stars of this movie was kicked out of an oceanographic institute due to "forbidden research" on dolphin communication! We speculate on the origin of director Vince D'Amato! GHOST CAR! And once again, the return of Favorite Mall Restaurants!

PLUS: introducing your favorite Dropkick Murphy's ripoff band - THE CROSS BODY BLOCK O'NEILL'S!

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Let us know what you liked, what you disliked, what cooked you beef stew in your dreams, what your favorite bone-crushing metal riff is, or what movie to watch next!

HAPPY (almost) HALLOWEEN! Get your fun-size candy bars and individually wrapped choco-glue-logs ready for another special minisode of Body Counts and Beer! Next week, we'll be tackling the little seen "horror" film VAMPIRES VS. ZOMBIES, so this week, it seems only fair we pay tribute to the schlocky goodness that inspired it.

Settle in as we run through our FAVORITE BEST WORST MOVIES! Jon can't quite remember his name! Mark reveals his Ed Wood story! A rundown of the Prophecy series that somehow DOESN'T feature a myriad of Walken impressions! Patrick recounts how he met an angel who led him to watch Omega Code 2! We takes turns crapping on Rocky Horror! All this and PAUL HARVEY!

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite movie musical, your favorite gyro topping, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

GET OVER HERE! Now that I have both a harpoon in your chest AND your attention, have you heard the good word about Mortal Kombat? If not, strap in bucko, because we're discussing our FAVORITE MORTAL KOMBAT CHARACTERS!

We recorded this before our unplanned hiatus, but you can be sure that everything contained within is still within range of its best buy date! This week, Mark disparages Full Metal Alchemist and Cowboy Bebop and Anime in general before being taught a lesson! Jon drops mad Mortal Kombat ninja knowledge and somehow ties it into Prince! Someone yells "TOASTY!" Plus, we share our trademarked recipe for digital homunculi!

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, your favorite MK character, your favorite/least favorite anime, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

TOASTY! We're back...again! Since we made you wait so long, we're dropping TWO CASTS IN ONE DAY! What manner of madness is this? Have we seen into the colour without shape and been driven insane by the Shoggoth? Nope! We just watched Mortal Kombat, which some philosophers would consider one in the same.

There's not a lot of ground to cover in a movie about idiots fighting goons, so we did the best with what we had! Jon once again stumps for Hackers, Patrick remembers Outback Steakhouse all wrong, all the a cappella Mortal Kombat theme and Steely Dan you can handle, a belated tribute to Len Wein, a belated tribute to Walter Becker, Mel Gibson stops by, and of course, the return of Favorite Mall Restaurants!

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Let us know what you liked, what you disliked, what made you shiver in fear, what made you quiver with delight, how much you hate that I wrote "quiver," or what movie to watch next!

DAAAAAAAAAAAMN! I'm sure that was loud enough to be heard throughout digital Manhattan. Now that's I've got your attention, have you heard the good news about TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: THE MOVIE!? It's from 1990 and stars Corey Feldman kind of!

Join us as we attempt to navigate a childhood touchstone that's neither as good as we remember or as bad as it should be! We touch on everything this week: Richard Nixon: Cosmic Monster, Shredder's management technique, Jon doesn't like when people quote Archer, Mark doesn't like Jose Canseco, an elegy for answering machines, how cool 70s rock and roll stories have become horror stories, and Jon once again mansplains audio/visual components! Plus, we debut our new spinoff podcast: SPIDER-TALK!

Please make sure to vaccinate your children against Master of Disguise.

Stay tuned for a special promo for Season 2 of one of our favorite podcasts, Spiel Chicago. Hosted by Smyra Yawn, Spiel Chicago explores the feminist and progressive work of Chicago's theatre scene. For more info, check out their website at spielchicago.com/

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There is so much inaccurate information in this episode (i.e. more than usual), so we implore you to reach out with any corrections or complaints. We'll read them on the show and apologize as needed!

Check out Beefcake and Co. for all your KY Muscle Grease needs!

Cowabunga! Radical! Bossa Nova! Chevy Nova? Next week, we're finally tackling the 1990 classic TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: THE MOVIE. As such, our corresponding minisode this week is about our FAVORITE NINJA TURTLE! It was such an easy, lowest common denominator choice, we almost had to make it!

Putting aside that Raphael is both objectively AND subjectively the greatest half-shelled hero of all, we take a moment to discuss the remaining pizza chomping teens. Along the way, we welcome back Macho Man Randy Savage and his spinoff podcast: SUPREME COURT SLAM! Plus, Mark blows a kiss at the end. You're welcome.

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, what gave you the bubble guts, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!

Looking for sound gambling advice? Always bet on black, and when it comes to Wesley Snipes, always bet on Drop Zone! This week, we hoped for aerial action film lightning to strike twice with PASSENGER 57, and boy howdy, were we let down.

Listen as we do everything in our power to talk about anything other than Passenger 57, such as: holding an unnecessarily long discussion about Friendly's and what constitutes a national restaurant chain, Mark gets diet advice which evolves into rice advice, a PSA for Swamp Ass Awareness featuring The Hoff and K.I.T.T., our new spinoff podcast "Gravy Fight," and Mark puts a stop to yet another "here's all the French I know" bits. PLUS: We cannot for the life of us separate villain Charles Rane with actor Bruce Payne. Sorry Bruce.

Stay tuned for a special promo for Season 2 of one of our favorite podcasts, Spiel Chicago. Hosted by Smyra Yawn, Spiel Chicago explores the feminist and progressive work of Chicago's theatre scene. For more info, check out their website at https://spielchicago.com/

Please subscribe to our wonderful podcast with iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher, Google Play, or pretty much any podcatcher you desire. Leave us a rating and review so we can eat those stars and turn invincible!

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, where the closest Friendly's to Chicago is, what the hell a Slimer Sundae is, or what movie to watch next!

VRRROOOOOM! That's the sound planes make, right? No? It's cars? Are you sure? Yes, you are? Okay then. Too late to go back now. Get ready for all the wings, engines, tiny windows and recycled air you can handle! This week, we're discussing our FAVORITE MOVIE PLANES!

There's a lot to cover this week so JUST KIDDING! Turns out, most planes are pretty much just planes, so this week we meander a bit more than usual while we: make distinctions between the Gremlin from Twilight Zone and the Gremlins from Gremlins, discover the secret origins of KY Muscle Grease, distract and interrupt the classiest introduction we've ever had, make distinctions between the Mogwai from Gremlins and the Gremlins from Gremlins, and break the time/space continuum by discussing the Slimer Sundae. Plus, planes from Hitchcock, Spielberg and Miller.

Also, stick around for a special promo for Season 2 of Spiel Chicago, a podcast about women and genderqueer artists in Chicago theatre. For more info, check out their website at: https://spielchicago.com/

Please subscribe via iTunes, SoundCloud, Stitcher, Google Play or pretty much anywhere fine podcasts are purveyed. Leave us a rating and review, so we're not the last kids on the block to get a star!

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Let us know what you liked, what you hated, if you've ever been in an elevator with a famous person, what movie to watch next or ANYTHING AT ALL!